Chapter Five: Sideways

Mal glanced at his two crewmates that were standing on the deck, and then back at Port Authority and then at his crate that was growing heavier with each second that passed by, back at Port Authority and then his crew. When did these guys show up and how fast were their watercraft and most importantly why were they here?

"Are we just gonna float here?" Jayne asked. He also had one hand on the hull and the other was supporting the crate.

"Uh hi." Mal said after a few more seconds of awkward silence. "We would be happy to comply with whatever orders you wish to give, but at the moment we are just trying to stay above water, also this is pretty darn heavy." He didn't know how much longer he was going to last trying to keep holding the crate. His arm was about to go numb.

"Help them aboard," one of the authorities said. He had more red trimmed flair to his crisp white uniform and his white cap with the red bill had a star on it instead of being plain like the others. He was also older with noticeable gray hair.

"Yes lieutenant," the others said as a few held out hands to haul Mal and Jayne aboard and pulled up the fifth and last crate.

"Is this the whole group?" The lieutenant asked and pointed at Jayne along with James and Zoe.

"Yes," Mal answered as he gave his arms a good shake. Thank goodness he was free from holding that thing. "We were the only ones on the tub."

"What we do wrong this time?" Jayne asked. "I thought this was a leg-" He received a small nudge from Zoe's shoe against his shin. "Oh yeah this me shutting up now."

"We apologize ahead of time," the lieutenant said as the others were examining the crates they hauled up from the drink. Two of the authorities were scanning the crates while another was typing into a clear screen. "but we are doing a routine check over this part of the sea and we haven't received any transmissions about a scavenging operation going on."

"Corwin is the man who hired us," Mal explained. He remembered talking with the man. Corwin was in his forties and a bit shabby looking with blue tinted sunglasses and was wheelchair bound."He had a little trouble with his shipment and or well the transport vessel delivering his goods did, seemed five of them fell out over open water and he hired us to haul it up for him." He nodded towards Zoe who was holding up a small paper screen. "She's got the permission slip to borrow his boat."

"Let me see that," The lieutenant said and took the form after touching it a few times and reading the various screens he pressed a slender identity key at the top of the form and musical trill was emitted. "This checks out. We still need to see your Identicards."

"Of course," James said and pulled out his wallet an I.D. while Zoe did the same.

"Ours are in our pants," Jayne said and pointed to his khakis that was crumpled up in the corner while Mal had his folded up and bellow deck.

"Figured it wouldn't be under those suits," one of the female officers said. "I'll let you boys fish them out."

"Jayne get your card out," Mal ordered as he went into the berth and removed his I.D. from where he had placed his pants. No way in the verse was he going to touch Jayne's pants and he was pretty sure his hired gun wouldn't want anyone to touch them unless it was a woman.

"Former Independent soldier," the lieutenant said as he read Zoe's. His stoic expression softened. "Sorry about your loss, but congratulations on the child." He handed the card back to Zoe

"Thank you," Zoe said. Her stone cold expression did not change

"Is this your real name, sir?" The lieutenant asked as he read James's card.

"Yes and I'm aware of the legend," James said. "I guess you can say I'm named after him. I even have my good luck coat tailored to resemble the one he once wore."

"I see." He glanced at Mal's and Jayne's. "Another former soldier and nothing special here on the last one."

"Nuttin special?" Jayne asked and shrugged. "I'll take it."

"Are we good to go, sir?" Mal asked.

"Just one more thing," the lieutenant said and clamped a small black plastic covering on their fingers. "Just repeat once more why you are out here?"

"My crew and I do all kinds of odd jobs," Mal explained. "Corwin hired us for salvage job for his items that accidently fell into this here sea and loaned us his boat, his shark repellers, life vests, cables and wet suits to go and find it."

"Told us there would be a big payment," Jayne said. "If we bring home all five of his crates."

"You are bringing back property of Corwin?" The lieutenant asked.

"That is correct," Zoe answered.

"And what of you?" He directed the question to James.

"It is the same answer as the others," James said as he stared at the plastic pen cap like object on his finger. "I was the one to steer the boat since I had the most knowledge of sailing or rather being at sea, again you can say that I am living up to the legend.

"Everything checks out," one of the authorities said while it looked like he was staring at his holowatch.

"Does that mean you are going to leave soon?" Jayne asked and earned glares from everyone. "I just want to change into some dry clothes and throw on a blanket so I don't catch that Hippo Terminal."

"Hypothermia?" Zoe asked.

"Yeah that's it," Jayne said and snapped his finger. "Hype a Thelma"

"Perfectly understandable sir," the lieutenant said as he and his officers headed back to their boat.

Mal waited for them to leave before he let out a sigh and sat down between two of the crates.

"Remind me not to steal anything from this planet anytime soon, unless maybe the doc creates an airtight plan," Mal said.

"I do feel safe and assured knowing they are out there," James said with a smile. "I feel a bit of comradery with them."

"I wonder if they are stopping and speaking with everyone," Zoe said as she watched the red and white boats head off towards the direction of the nearest ship on the horizon. "I understand trying to keep everyone safe, but this is a bit on the overkill."

"Nuff paranoia," Mal said as he retreated below deck. "Going to change and head back. Commodore, steer her back to shore." There was something not right about the whole scenario and the air did feel cooler, but then again he was still dripping wet and should change back into some dry and warm clothes.

Even though he had told the others to not be so paranoid Mal couldn't shake the ominous feeling that something was about to go wrong throughout the rest of the day. Granted that bit of fog rolling in twenty minutes before they reached the docks might have had something to do with it, but the commodore was able to steer through it and able to get her back into the slip. Maybe it was the fact they were stopped by the local fuzz, but they were not the only ones who were questioned. As they headed back they could see the red and white boats parked against other sea faring tubs.

He didn't say much only half listened to Zoe and James as they traded military stories and Jayne kept asking questions. Mal didn't even laugh at the clever joke Zoe told after hearing about James once caught a pirate in an actual fishing net.

"Sir you haven't said a word for almost an hour," Zoe spoke to him after they had made port and Jayne had dropped the anchor.

"Something I can't shake," Mal said while James had turned the engine off.. "Just have a cold feeling all over." He hugged his brown leather coat closer.

"You getting that Hypno thelma thing?" Jayne asked. "I asked if you wanted the last of the hot tea and you said no."

"Might be it," Mal said with a shrug. "Might be part of it, but I aint going to feel better until this job is over. Two of us will carry a crate each and it will take a few trips to the mule, but once we have her loaded we'll be out of here. Commodore let me know if you need a minute with the waves."

"I'll be fine, captain," James said as he and Jayne grabbed a crate. "I do appreciate your concern and the fact you allowed me to steer the vessel."

"I was a bit concerned when you were having flashbacks." Mal tapped the side of his head

"I guess you can say I was reliving some of my good old days," James said with a sigh. "Old days are what they are. I am looking forward to the new days. There are times when I feel like I belong more in the here and now then back then."

"Right, lets get movin."

Mal did not say much once everything was loaded and they had boarded the mule except to answer the few questions that were asked of him. He wished he could just shake the feeling of uncertainty off. Maybe he should have talked more with their client, or asked for part of the payment up front first to secure things. He kept going over all the things he should have done first.

"What's eatin ya, captain?" Jayne asked. "You look like you are constantly pissed off at something."

"Was he staring at you?" James asked.

"You watch it," Jayne told him.

"Will you all stop talking about me?" Mal snapped. He shook his head. "Sorry. I just don't know what has me rattled and I can't get it out from under my skin."

"Perhaps it was the sea," James suggested. "It might have stirred feeling about when we first met and how you felt like you were trapped and didn't know if you would return home or not. I still haven't reached the part of colonization of these planets and have no idea how long people have been sailing on this planet or other planets with large oceans and who knows what kind of legends exist out here."

"That does sound about right," Zoe said with a nod.

"Hope their aint no giant squids or squid faced people or squid anything," Jayne said. "Unless the squid is served on a plate, preferably breaded and fried with some sauce on the side for dipping."

"Talk about something else," Mal said. "About your favorite foods, or that shindig that is coming up, just as long as it aint about me."

That helped. The others discussed the upcoming ball and while nobody came out and said who or what they were dressing up as they did give hints. Jayne had mentioned he was going to be a real hero and James said it was related music in some form and Zoe said hers was classical mythology.

"All I'm saying about mine is that it is somewhat familiar," Mal said and almost felt himself wanting to smile. "You might find him in history books, in fact he might be more familiar than you think."

His smile faded when they arrived at the home of their client and there were vehicles parked around, both hover jeeps and bikes with red and blue lights flashing, local law enforcement. There were several feds talking to each other and one of them looked up when they had arrived.

"Halt," one of the officer's shouted as he held out his hand. "State your business."

"We are bringing in the cargo that Corwin has hired us to retrieve for him," Malcolm answered as he stepped off the mule. "What is going on?" This is the second time that day they came across law enforcement that day and he didn't like it.

"You are Malcolm Reynolds?" The officer asked as he pulled out a screen and glanced at it.

"That would be me," Malcolm answered and folded his arms across his chest. "Does this have anything to do with why Port Authority used lie detector tests on us?"

"What does he mean?" James asked and raised a finger. "Those plastic devices they placed on our fingers were used to see if we were lying?"

"Yes and you all passed," the officer said and frowned, not an angry frown but a sympathetic frown. "You honestly thought this cargo was the property of Corwin."

"It's not?" Jayne asked has the corners of his mouth turned up. "You mean this wasn't an honest job? Damn Jimbo here is gonna lose his breakfast."

"For Christ sake, Cobb my constitution is not that weak," James said and rolled his eyes.

"Waddya mean the cargo ain't his," Mal said and noticed the scrawny short form of Corwin being dragged out of his house in his wheel chair with his hands cuffed behind his back. "Hey Corwin what the hell is going on?" He glared as Corwin didn't answer him and just hung his head.

"This man, Corwin has a special scanner," the officer said. "Lets him know if something is lost at sea and hires people to bring it up for him. He then takes the crates and sells what's inside. He is not the only one who does this on New Melbourne and Port Authority officials have been working around the clock to put a stop to people like him."

"Are we in trouble?" Zoe asked.

"Ninety percent of the time the people hired to retrieve the stolen goods have no idea the items are stolen, hence the lie detector tests." He pointed to several other officers and at the crates on the mule. "We will retrieve that and return them to their rightful owners."

"Why didn't they inform us while we were still out at sea?" Zoe asked.

"They were not certain at the time when they interviewed you," the officer told her. "We were only informed about fifteen minutes ago ourselves."

"Do you need any assistance in removing the crates off the mule and into your vehicles?" James offered. Why was he being so helpful to the feds?

"That will not be necessary," the officer said.

"We are going to prison?" Jayne asked in a worried tone.

"No once we get this unloaded you are free to go."

"That's good."

"No," Mal said and glared at the vehicle that Corwin was shoved into. He had no problem with jobs that involved stealing cargo from one ship for another. What he couldn't stand was being lied to and most importantly he hated when he did work and not get paid for it. He no longer felt a chill and in fact felt like his blood was going to boil.

"Sir?" Zoe asked and raised her eyebrows.

"Not now," Mal said coldly. He wanted to get away from there immediately. "Once that crap is off we are heading back to Serenity and we are going to get off this water soaked rock, now!" He had enough of New Melbourne and Core planets in general.

They had returned to Serenity in complete silence. Zoe was grateful that Jayne hadn't uttered a single complaint, pout silently yes, but not a single complaint.

James had scrunched himself into his seat and placed his hands on his lap like a child waiting to see the principal and just stared at the scenery as she drove them back on the mule.

Zoe could almost see steam radiating off her captain as they made their way back. Mal's jaw was clenched, nostrils constantly flaring and she could even see the veins on his forehead and neck pulsating. She was thankful that everyone had kept their lips zipped.

The others were in the cargo bay waiting for them, all three smiling and seeing their faces did brighten Zoe's mood a smidge. She glanced at Simon who had a big grin while holding Kaylee's hand and Zoe had a feeling the young couple were in their bunk a few minutes earlier. Kaylee's smile could be broadcasts from Londinium and be reached on Beaumont and River had done her hair up in curls, similar to the girls had their hair back in James's century. She was also wearing makeup.

"Surprise," Kaylee said in a delightful tone once the mule was parked. "The three of us cooked dinner, all together, and everything is all clean."

"They were lied to," River said as Zoe and the other's departed the mule. "The job went south and there was no money."

"Wait," Simon said as he dropped his cheerful expression. "What had happened?"

"The loot we were supposed to fetch didn't belong to Corwin," Zoe explained as they stepped out of the mule.

"Dumbass got himself caught," Jayne added. "And that means we get ruttin squat."

"Oh," Kaylee said softly. "I guess you're not in the mood for food."

"I am," Jayne said and pointed at his chest. "You forget who I am?"

"I appreciate you preparing a meal for us," James told her and approached River. "We will always eat what you make. You are wearing your hair differently. Is this part of your costume?"

"Just different. It's to remind you of the way women used to be."

"Ah it does bring back memories," James said as he gingerly touched a curl. "But as you prefer the real me I prefer the real you."

"You two can flirt later," Mal finally spoke. "And there won't be any costume party. We are leaving right now and heading back to Persephone to pick up Inara and we are going to sell those invites and whatever costume materials you hadn't used is going back to the shop."

"Captain," Kaylee gasped and took a step back.

"Sir?" Zoe turned to face Mal She knew he was angry but she didn't expect him to say this.

"We need the money and since the deal didn't pay out we have to find some way to make green," Mal instructed. "River get to the helm, Kaylee you need to head to the engine room, Zoe look for work, James work on your research, Jayne clean the mule and the bay."

"B-but the party," Kaylee said. "We have been looking forward to this. We-"

"Were not hired to go to parties or dress up." He pointed at her. "You were hired to be a mechanic so get to mechanicing."

Kaylee opened her mouth to say something, but clamped her mouth shut and spun on her heel. She marched straight towards the engine room. Zoe could see the tears trailing out of the corners of her eyes.

"I can't believe you," Simon said to Mal before he turned and ran after Kaylee

"I wanted to dance," River said and stared down. "I wanted to dance with...everybody." She fought to hold back the tears before she headed to the cockpit.

"I had thought you were to be a man of honor," James said in a cold tone. "I had respected you and thought we had something in common, that we were similar. I would never make a promise of a celebration to those close to me and revoke it."

"Now you see the real me and I made no promises," Mal said.

James shook his head before headed towards the passenger bay.

"Sir I suggest that you think long and hard about the decision you just made," Zoe said sternly. "We are all upset about losing out on the money, but you do not need to punish everybody for it."

"We need money to keep her flying," Mal said. "We lost money today and we need to eat to pay the crew-"

"A crew you might no longer have if you keep this up," Zoe warned. "Now I know the other's won't mutiny, except for Jayne."

"Yup," Jayne confirmed. He had already started to clean the mule.

"But they might quit," Zoe warned. "Simon, River and Kaylee would leave together and I'm certain that James would go with them and if everybody leaves then even I or Inara would not want to stick around."

"I-"

"Better think before you speak, sir," Zoe told him. "I do have a life on Santo. You need to cool down, get something to eat and then speak to me."

"I'm going to shower," Mal said. "We will talk more over dinner."

Zoe shook her head. Her captain needed an intervention and slap in the face more than he needed his shower, but first she was going to speak with the others, give the girls comfort hugs and sympathy before she headed to the galley for dinner.