In this chapter: Axel just wants to be heard.
xxxXXXxxx
Ballad
Chapter Seventeen
"Boys Of Summer"
xxxXXXxxx
He took a deep breath and sighed. Don't worry, it only hurts the first time. Like a first crush, a first kiss, first split, first cut. Just take a deep breath, drown out the noise, ignore the faces… There are a lot of faces. Or maybe there's only three, and they're completely ignoring you. What's worse? He gulped nervously and strummed his guitar. There was a passing glance, and then a snub. Great. So this is how Axel did it, huh? But practice had made perfect and he had earned this spot. Take a deep breath, close your eyes, and count to three.
"One two three…"
oooOOOoooOOOoooOOOooo
"Hello, my good men," Sora said happily.
"Hey…"
"And ladies," he added belatedly, jumping up to his own personal barstool and taking a seat, giving Kairi a swift and apologetic kiss on the cheek. Demyx sat on the other side of the redheaded girl with a glass of cranberry juice and Sprite.
"Sora!" he chanted like it was an old episode of Cheers. His smile was crooked, wavering. "You're sorta the last person I expected to see here tonight…"
"How you doing, babe?" Kairi asked.
"Just basking in the glory of 'regular' status. Skipping the line and seeing all those little scene kids smear their eyeliner is something money can't buy."
She smiled as she brought her whiskey sour up to her lips. "Chyeah. It's kinda bad out there, huh?" She took one long sip and placed the empty glass down on the bar. She clinched her teeth and grimaced as the freezing alcohol went straight to her head. "Augh. Gah- So, Sora, who's playin' tonight, you know?" she grumbled, clinching the bridge of her nose in pain.
"I dunno, I haven't asked yet. Demyx?"
The punk leaned back in his seat and looked at Sora as if he had grown a second head. "Seriously?"
Sora seemed only momentarily distracted when he called the bartender over, a tall woman with an edgy fringe. "Seriously what?" he asked Demyx, turning to the bartender. "One Destani Island, please," he asked her sweetly. The morbid woman rolled her eyes and started to get the pineapple juice from the icebox. Ever since Roxas introduced his little concoction to Cid, they decided to make it an exclusive drink for the Organization. She soon returned with a short tumbler with a yellow drink inside, even a cherry. "Thank you, Payne."
"Fuck off, Sora," she muttered, mimicking the brunet's exuberant attitude. Sora was used to this treatment coming from her, but at least she would give him the family discount, maybe a freebie once in a while. He only wished his brother were as generous.
Sora sighed and took a sip of his drink, as if it were ecstasy on ice. "Holy shit, Dem, you don't know what you're missing."
"No thanks, I wanna be sober tonight," he sighed, swirling the ice in his drink around with a straw. He looked anxiously towards the green room door, which had been kept tight shut and guarded by Seifer ever since he got there.
"You look like a curious puppy," Kairi giggle, flicking his ear. The punk shook his head and turned to her.
"I'm just nervous." He leaned back in his seat again to try and gain Sora's attention. The brunet leaned back in his seat as well, albeit less gracefully. He saved himself from falling out of his stool – which wouldn't have been the first time – and quickly gained his footing. He didn't even spill his drink. Kairi actually started applauding. "You do know 13 Hearts is playing tonight, right?"
Sora had heard rumors that had suggested such, but he had forgotten when exactly the show was going to be. It wasn't like he had to worry about any awkward social situations, so he just shrugged the question off. "Yeah, of course. I guess it slipped my mind…"
"Axel must be really pissed off at me. Seifer wouldn't let me anywhere near the door," he sighed. He almost expected a bigger rise out of Sora and Kairi, but maybe it didn't really matter since the band was a quartet now. The main catalyst of all the drama was long gone.
Sora walked around and took the empty stool next to Demyx. The bar and seats near the back of the floor were starting to get filled with industry people and friends of the club, and it was becoming harder to hear Demyx over the noise. "Why, what'd you do?" Sora asked, taking another sip from his drink. Another amazing thing about Payne: she gave free doubles.
"Well, he called my phone, like… Jeez, it was sometime in December right after they left for the tour. He had lost Rox's phone number or something and I wouldn't give it to him."
Sora almost spit his drink. "What? Why?"
"Because!" Demyx tried to explain, but now it was becoming a little difficult. "I mean, if he called Roxas what good would it have done? I mean, you know him better than anyone. He was depressed, do you think a stupid phone call would have solved anything? And I know Axel and I know he would have screwed it up somehow."
Sora tried to remember what little he recalled about Axel from his time at the harbor over a year and a half ago. "I guess I get it," he sighed. "But Roxas was really beat up about that. He hasn't really talked about it since…"
"I guess it's good he isn't here, then," Demyx sighed, looking towards the green room door again. At that moment, the floodgates were opened and the normal ticket holders started wandering in and rushing to the front of the stage to get the best spots. The threesome at the bar were amazed by the sheer volume of people there that night. Everyone must have heard that tonight was 13 Hearts' big welcome home show, even if it was on a different day than their usual sets.
"This'll be cool," Kairi commented. "I've never actually seen them perform before."
Parents and older club-goers stopped by the bar to get their drinks before the show started. Payne was joined by one of the other bartending regulars, Yuna, and they set to work filling out everyone's orders.
"Sora, you look so down," Yuna said with a pout, looking at her favorite customer and completely ignoring the shouting orders coming from around her. "What's up? Want a drink?" She pointed to the empty glass in front of the brunet. Sora looked down at it, not even realizing he had finished it already. "I'll make you something special!" she added with a smile. Before Sora could oppose, she already had a glass tumbler with ice half-filled with vodka and grapefruit schnapps. She finished filling the glass with contents of two additional bottles of liqueur before sliding it to him.
"What is it?" Sora asked, never seeing anything like it before. For a finishing touch, she added a lemon wedge drowning in sugar.
"I call it a Sweet Memory. Payne-y and I were thinking about making a book of original mixed drink recipes. Do you think Roxas would mind if he contributed? The kid's, like, a genius."
Sora bobbed his head from side to side, taking a sip of his drink. Whatever Yuna had put in this concoction, it was definitely stronger than his usual bracers. He clenched his teeth and wondered if they would fall out from all the sugar in it. "It's great," Sora stated, which may had been giving it too much credit, but he knew Yuna was busy and shouldn't have spent any time on him, a friend with no intent to pay. He had a feeling that she wasn't supposed to put that much alcohol in his drink to begin with. It seemed like she and Payne were filling him up tonight.
Yuna gave him a curt, optimistic nod before jumping back in and filling up orders with people waving dollars in her face. After about half an hour of nonstop madness, the crowd around the bar finally started to die down and Sora had finished his drink, plus two more, feeling the immediate consequences.
"You feeling alright?"
Sora nodded and got off his barstool, almost falling over himself. Demyx reached out to catch him but Sora held up his hand to show him that he was okay. "Yeah, just fine," he groaned. "I didn't even mean to drink that much…"
"Oh," Demyx said, glancing towards the hall where the restrooms were. "Do you need me to walk you to the bathroom?"
"And hold my hair back for me?" Sora asked with a laugh, at least still in a sound enough mind to joke, but no telling how long that would last. "Don't worry, I'll be fine." The brunet stood up and walked briskly to the bathroom, needing to relieve himself immediately.
As soon as he crashed through the bathroom door, he noticed that all the urinals were already taken. He groaned and hoped that one of the stalls would be free, and luckily the last one in the row, between the wall and the stall with the broken door, was open. Dizzily, Sora walked in and slammed the door shut.
The loud bang shook Luxord up, him being one of the men at the crowded urinal wall. He grumbled and muttered a curse under his breath, shaking twice and zipping up before turning towards the door. Before he left, he knocked on the two doors closest to the exit.
"Oi, gits, you almost done in there? Circle jerks are usually before the show with the rest of the crew. It's tradition."
"Shut the fuck up, asswipe," Xigbar spat back.
Meanwhile, Sora was trying very hard to hold his bladder until he remembered how to lift the seat up. This was going to be a horrible night already. He could tell. There were two flushes and the sounds of doors swinging open.
"Oh, give me a break, you're actually washing?"
"We're running late."
Finally the seat was up. Sora zipped down his pants and went straight to work. The background noise would rise increasingly as the door opened and more people tried to fit into the cramped bathroom before the show.
"Just one second."
Sora's breath hitched for a moment. That voice sounded very, very familiar. The first wave of sobriety struck him down like a bolt of lightning, so quick that he almost lost his balance when it left. He had his hand against the wall as he leant forward, and looking down he remembered why he was here. Bathroom. Right. But he couldn't help but think he was missing something.
After he finished doing a decent job of pissing everywhere except in the bowl, he reached blindly for the flusher and stumbled out of the stall. The bathroom was filled with little scene kids that were still too young to be served alcohol. Sora felt a little bit pathetic being as drunk as he was around so many minors. Luckily he still had his wits about him enough to see if he could somehow convince himself to sober up faster.
He walked over to the sinks, washing his hands in an automated robotic way like he was taught when he was young. He glanced up for a moment to check his reflection and instead saw a heart. In bright red Sharpie, someone had drawn a heart with the number 13 in the middle of it. Sora had used the restroom a couple times since he became a frequent visitor, and he didn't remember seeing it before. As he wiped his hands on his jeans and headed for the door, there were two boys talking animatedly in the corner, waiting for a free urinal.
"That was so fucking sweet! I can't believe we saw them in person!" one of them cried. Sora glanced at him and noticed that the kid was wearing braces. He shuddered and walked out of the bathroom into the ocean of skinny pants and eyeliner. Luckily, Demyx waved him over back into the direction of the bar, not able to shout loud enough to go over the voices of all the people. Once Sora made it back to the bar, he almost collapsed on the countertop.
"Still feeling a little off, buddy?" Demyx asked, now having to yell. He placed a glass of water in front of the brunet who took it gladly. "Do you want to leave?"
Before Sora could reply, the lights dimmed and in typical Organization fashion, everybody rushed as quickly as they could to the front of the stage. Kairi and Demyx watched the flashing rainbow lights on stage with as much interest as everyone else, although Sora still sat with his head pressed up against the well-polished countertop.
"Would you mind not doing that?" he heard Payne ask. "You're gonna smudge it with your face-grease." He could barely hear her sarcastic remark under the loudspeakers emitting distorted guitar chords. Somehow above all the racket and Sora's growing migraine, he could hear Demyx and Kairi shouting back and forth to each other.
"Oh my God!"
"Is that him?"
"OH MY GOD!"
"Oh my God, it is him!"
"Holy shit!"
"Did you know?"
"No! Did you?"
"What? No!"
Sora covered his ears to try and block out all the noise, until he heard that voice again, this time magnified through the speakers.
"Hey, guys! We're 13 Hearts! It's great to be back in Bastion…"
Almost instantly, Demyx was punching Sora in the shoulder. "Dude! Dude, get up! Look!" Sora remained brooding with his face buried.
He knew whose voice that was. He was just very afraid to look. Roxas said he was miserable. His brother had told him everything and how the owner of this voice had become a horrible person since Sora left, and it was all his fault. He didn't want to see him again, not after all the wrongs that he caused.
After a few short clicks of the drumsticks, the entire room roared as heavy, fast, and mind-numbing melodies filled the space.
"Jump back! Get away!
Hold still, it'll all be over soon!
I see you there, smiling all along,
Waiting for someone to rescue you!"
He sounded amazing, almost exactly the same, just as Sora remembered. This time combined with some new elements. The music wasn't as soft and flighty, and now with Axel's new voice after a year of leading solo, it added heavier and more dramatic influences with him returning as backup.
"The rise and fall!
All you ever did was run.
You want it all!
It was over when it begun."
Sora remembered when Axel used to just scream into the mic without a care, and now here he was singing with center-stage talent. Sora could hear the crowd getting rowdy and starting to ram against each other.
"Now look at you!
You're done."
Sora couldn't help but feel like every lyric of that song was about him, but then he realized something. He slowly lifted his head and glared into the wall opposite him. This entire time he had been so selfish. Why on earth would a summer fling from over a year ago even care about him anymore? Why would Sora just automatically think that this song was meant for him? The brunet knocked himself in the head and tried to force such thoughts out of his brain.
"Thanks you guys! You really are fucking amazing. Nothing like coming back home, huh? That was a new song called 'The Rise and Fall' from our new album we're gonna start recording this spring." The audience started screaming to the point where it was deafening. Even Sora felt slightly interested. This would be the first 13 Hearts pressing with the original singer.
"This next song is something you all know. It's a sing-along so sing along!"
A single guitar chord was played, but it seemed like everyone in the crowd knew what song it was just from that simple sound. A simple melody of notes from the lead guitar was soon accompanied by the sound of the tapping cymbals.
"Nobody on the road,
Nobody on the beach
I feel it in the air,
The summer's out of reach
Empty lake, empty streets
The sun goes down alone…"
Sora found himself laughing. It was all pretty hysterical. He wouldn't expect anything less. "The Boys of Summer" was pretty much the punk's most favorite song of all time.
"I'm driving by your house
Though I know you're not home!
But I can see you
Your brown skin shining in the sun!
You got your hair combed back
And your sunglasses on, baby!
And I can tell you my love for you will still be strong
After the boys of summer have gone!"
Sora couldn't take it anymore. He just had to look.
"I never will forget those nights.
I wonder if it was a dream…
Remember how you made me CRAZY?
Remember how I made you scream.
Now I don't understand what happened to our love,
But babe, I'm gonna get you back!
I'm gonna show you what I'm made of!"
Riku…
oooOOOoooOOOoooOOOooo
Roxas didn't know how Axel could do it. Not even thirty minutes into his performance, he had been giggled at twice, and at least three times he caught people pointing at him followed by whispering to their friends. Still, somehow he managed to keep sitting in the corner of Twilight Town Café and play guitar for them. He used his first two weeks' pay from the Organization to help buy an acoustic guitar. He was still using Axel's amp for his musical endeavors, and hoped that he wouldn't mind.
This wasn't Roxas' first time playing for the café. It was actually his third, but this was his first time with a microphone hooked up to a speaker. He usually just came in to play guitar in the corner and give the coffee house some nice ambience music. He didn't want to destroy the mood by having his voice mess up everything. The blond was having a difficult time coming up with the courage to sing in front of these people. Every passing glance in his direction took him two steps back, and he continued playing the acoustic melodies that he had practiced with most of his free time.
When he was feeling particularly courageous, he would hum along with the song he was playing, but it was never a melody. Perhaps a harmony at best, and at the end of every piece, he would sigh and promise himself that next time he would definitely sing. He started strumming an acoustic rendition of 'Mrs. Robinson' when the bells on the door of the café jingled.
Roxas debated whether or not to sing the song. The lyrics were tattooed in his mind, and it's not like he didn't know how to sing to begin with. It was just that every time he opened his mouth, nothing would come out. He continued staring at the floor and debating whether or not he should just leave. His tip jar was pathetically empty. Most musicians would place their own money in a tip jar first to help fuel more tips, but Roxas felt like he was only making a joke of himself making people think they should be tipping him to begin with.
"Roxas?"
He looked up for a moment, and his hand started to slow its strum until it stopped completely. Naminé stood wearing her cute little white pea coat with red leggings and a red knit hat. Roxas had seen her once or twice since December, but it seemed like every time he saw her she was getting bigger. It was like a constant reminder of how much his life had changed in the past four months. Naminé had started her second trimester a few weeks ago. The baby would be expected in July.
"Nami," Roxas replied with a small smile. "What are you doing around here this late?" He checked his watch and noted that it was just past nine in the evening.
"Not much. I was dropping Marly off at work and decided to go for a walk. I came by here to get a drink, and…" she faded off and made a motion to the small stage where Roxas had his humble setup. "I honestly wasn't expecting this. How long have you been a performer?"
Roxas blushed. "I don't think I'd call it that," he tried to explain. "I've just been coming in the past few Tuesdays to play. I get to keep all my tips." He suddenly wished he didn't mention that last part, as Naminé's eyes suddenly shifted and were fixed on the empty glass jar where people's pocket change was intended to go.
"Okay," she giggled. "Don't let me stop you."
"No, really! It's no big deal at all. Here," Roxas said, placing his guitar on the stand and jumping off his little stage to pull a chair up for Naminé to sit in. "Do you want anything to drink? Some coffee? I get free drinks here since I'm playing…"
Naminé perked up and looked at the menu. "Oh! Um… No coffee," she sighed, rubbing her slightly swollen stomach. "How about some warm tea? Decaf?"
Roxas nodded and went to the counter to place an order. The barista asked if he was going to play more songs, because if not she was going to turn the radio back on. "I'm just taking a quick break," Roxas stated. "But go ahead and turn it on if you want." The barista nodded and went ahead with pouring the hot water to make Naminé's tea. While the leaves were setting, she went over and turned the knob of the radio. Roxas also picked up a house blend for himself before returning to the table.
"Here you go."
"Listen to that," Naminé said. She paused, pointing up towards the ceiling where the speakers were. Roxas remained quiet and glanced up towards the speakers, trying to block out all the other noise so he could concentrate on the radio. Once he heard it, he smiled. It was so heartbreakingly ironic.
"Breakthru by Queen," he mumbled.
She hummed in agreement and took the tea from Roxas' hand. "I love this song." She took a sip from her tea and winced, gripping her stomach.
"Is everything okay?" Roxas asked, almost jumping to the rescue. What if the tea was so hot it burned the baby? What if something terrible happened and there was a miscarriage?
"Oh, I'm fine," Naminé sighed, grunting slightly. "I just cramp up sometimes. But it'll be replaced with kicks soon enough." She sarcastically rolled her eyes. "Can't wait…"
Roxas added small packets of sugar and cream into his coffee until it was a pleasant tan color. "So you really are doing fine, aren't you?"
"I wouldn't be half the person I am right now if it weren't for you," Naminé said. "I feel like for the first time I can see where my life is heading…" She softly rubbed her hand across her stomach. "…And I like it. I feel prepared, but I'm terrified. And being scared feels amazing. I can't really explain it to you, but…"
Naminé had always lived a fairly sheltered life, and Roxas had a feeling that she found comfort in that he could offer a similar lifestyle into adulthood, but no human should ever live this way. Naminé deserved to take risks, and she deserved to be happy.
"You really love him, don't you?" Roxas asked. He had heard everything from Marluxia's point of a view, and even though the punk checked up on him constantly as he started his new job at the Organization, he never really had a moment with Naminé alone. Roxas was extremely interested in hearing her thoughts.
Almost instantly, she blushed and brought her teacup up to her mouth. "What? Why? He's just… helping me out for the time being… He's just being nice."
"That's not what he told me."
She glanced up at him, "What'd he tell you?"
"Nothing you don't know… Maybe."
"Roxas."
"I'm just wondering," the boy shrugged. "I mean, there's gotta be something there. A spark?" He paused and looked at her for a moment, her cheeks still a rosy red. He decided to take this a step farther. "He is kinda cute…"
Naminé looked him in the eye again, definitely not used to hearing her ex say something like that about anybody, much less another man. And definitely not Marluxia Floris of all people.
"What do you want me to say? There was an initial attraction, but it's gone now."
"Why?"
Naminé didn't really feel the need to elaborate. "Well, because of the baby. He's always taking time off work to take me to the doctor's office and it must be a hassle for him. I'm a little bigger now and harder to get around. My ankles are so swollen sometimes it hurts to walk. I complain way too much…"
"Wait, so you're thinking that Marly doesn't like you anymore?"
Naminé shrugged shyly. "Well… Look at me."
Roxas looked at her and saw the most adorable creature on earth. Just the fact that Naminé was worried that Marluxia didn't like her was cute. He didn't know how to explain this to her in a way that wouldn't make her feel diminutive, but she was an idiot for thinking that someone like Marluxia wouldn't like her because of her looks.
"But how do you really feel about him?"
She seemed to struggle for a moment, wondering if she really should be telling Roxas all this information, but her sheepish smile answered the question for her. "…Yeah. Kind of a lot." Her blush almost matched the color of her hand, and she lifted her hand to her face as she giggled. "Today, he picked me a dozen white roses, and he took me out to lunch. It's so weird, Roxas, I'm honestly not used to dating."
It was true; during the last weeks of their relationship they were too busy with their own lives to ever really spend much time together. Roxas smiled that Marluxia was able to take time out of his busy schedule to help her. "If you really appreciate him that much, you gotta let him know. He might not be around forever." Roxas thought about Axel, and pushed his feelings aside. Right now was about Naminé and Marluxia.
"I know," Naminé sighed. "I will. Tonight, after work."
Roxas paused to think for a moment. "About that… You said you were dropping him off not too long ago. What's he doing at the office this late?"
Naminé smiled. "Who said he's at the office?"
oooOOOoooOOOoooOOOooo
"I can see you
Your brown skin shining in the sun!
I see you walking real slow,
And you're smiling at everyone
I can tell you my love for you will still be strong
After the boys of summer have gone!"
He was absolutely stunning. He glowed under the stage lights. He took over and commanded the attention of everyone in the room. His hair was still the bright, white-hot bleached blond that it always was. His face was red and sweaty under the heat. He stepped back to let Axel and Xigbar have their solos. He drank from a bottle of water that was resting on an amplifier and wiped his face off with a towel. Riku was still an absolutely perfect and beautiful human being. Sora was left speechless. The world around him stopped turning, and for a moment he thought he had gone deaf, but everything started spinning again once Riku came back up to the mic.
"…Out on the road today,
I saw an Adam Ant sticker on a Cadillac."
Sora almost threw up.
"A little voice inside my head said
'Don't look back, you can never look back.'
I thought I knew what love was…
What the FUCK did I know?
Those days are gone forever,
I should just let them go but-
I still see you
Your brown skin shining in the sun
You got that top pulled down
And that radio on, baby.
And I can tell you my love for you will still be strong
After the boys of summer have gone!"
Axel and Xigbar came up on either side of the singer and started shouting the last chorus with him. It seemed to be unexpected, but instead of trying to sing over them, Riku joined them in shouting the last lines of the song on the top of his lungs.
"You got your hair slicked back
And those wayfarers on, baby!
I can tell you my love for you will still be strong
After the boys of summer have gone!"
Kairi, Demyx, and Sora were left sitting at the bar, completely stunned. Demyx was the first to speak. "God, Sora, I didn't know, honest! I haven't talked with any of them since December and they didn't tell me that he was back! I'm sorry!"
'Why is he apologizing?' Sora thought, a small smile working its way up onto his lips. He felt a gentle nudge from his side.
"Sora, you had that Adam Ant sticker on your car before you left that summer," Kairi said with a large grin. "What does that mean?"
Sora had a feeling he knew what that meant. It meant Riku's love was still strong, even after the summer was gone. Sora smiled like a foolish schoolchild and buried his face into his hands. He didn't know what to do now, but he felt like he had to do something.
"This next song some of you might remember," Riku spoke, taking the mic off the stand and walking back and forth on the stage. He started pointing to the middle of the crowd where the mosh pit usually formed. "I need y'all to back the fuck up! Make a big circle! Kiddies, look out!" Riku lifted up his hand and motioned for Marluxia to start playing. The pink-haired drummer started playing a sick solo that called out to Sora like a spell. "Axe, I'm gonna need your help with this one…"
"DEADLY NIGHT SHADE!" Axel screamed. And once again, returning to a chorus of incomprehensible grunts and shouts, the kids closed up the gap they had formed in the middle of the mosh pit and a brawl started on the dance floor. Demyx watched on, completely surprised at this turn of events. Of all things he suspected from this band, he never would have guessed that the original lineup would ever reunite. It brought a soft feeling of nostalgia to his heart.
About halfway through the song he started feeling someone nudging at his side. "Demyx. Demyx!" He shook his head and turned to Kairi, who had been trying to get his attention. She pointed to the empty seat to his left. "Where's Sora?" she had to scream. Demyx had to check for himself. Sora's chair was definitely lacking a certain tipsy brunet. He looked out into the horrific scene in the middle of the room and sighed. Yes, this was definitely nostalgic.
Somewhere in the middle of the mosh pit was a very dizzy Sora trying to fight his way through to make it to the front of the room. He was constantly accepting blows to his chest and ribs, and he could tell that he was going to have bruises all over his legs even though his entire body felt numb. Once the song started to fade off, the fighting slowed down and most of the kids started to crush to the front of the floor near the stage. Sora was having a hard time standing, much less breathing, but every time he looked up he noticed he was closer to Riku than he had been since that summer.
There was something about Riku that attracted Sora to him like a magnet. As much as he wished he could just let go and tell himself that Riku didn't care for him anymore, he just simply couldn't. He needed proof that this was over. He needed a sign that meant that he could stop worrying and leave the past as the past.
"Fucking awesome," Riku told the audience at the end of the song. "Okay, so while you guys break out the first aid kits we're going to slow things down for a moment." For 13 Hearts, slowing down meant no death riffs, but Xigbar's lightning-fast guitar playing was still there as always. "This is a new song. It's called 'Cheers.'"
"A box of wine and a tattered quilt are my only friends now.
You're gone so what more is there to say?
Lying under the stars, I can almost feel your touch again.
Silently sipping and slipping until the brand new day!"
As the chorus started, Riku held out his hand as if he was holding a wine glass and toasting the audience. The crowd responded by pumping their fists into the air and shouting along.
"Cheers!
Let's raise a glass
To memories
Long-since past!
Cheers!
For following
The truth found
In your heart!
I remember the light found only in your eyes
I remember the darkness you couldn't hide
I remember all the times you held me in your arms
Do you even know who I am anymore?"
Sora started crying. There wasn't any doubt left in his mind. These songs were definitely about him. He didn't know what to say now. He may not know who Riku was anymore. People can change in a year, and it seemed like everybody he knew was living, breathing proof of that. He sighed and stopping fighting to get to the front of stage. If Riku saw him, what would be the point? Sora almost wanted to turn around and leave, if he wasn't packed in the crowd like a sardine, so he was forced to remain watching.
"This one's for you…
Cheers!
To one night of love
It's all it took
Will never be enough!
Cheers!
To your last smile
It's gone forever
And you'll never know."
The song started to slow down and Axel pressed on a pedal on the stage floor to make his guitar sound cleaner. The drums and bass immediately cut out and left with a heavy emphasis on Riku's somber tone.
"So say cheers
To the end, my friend
There's no turning back.
It's over so I'll
Find some way to go on…
I remember all the lies
I remember all the hate
But most of all, I remember love…
I hope this message reaches you someday."
Sora remained trapped in the audience for more songs. Most of them were older ones that 13 Hearts recorded while Riku was gone, including house favorites "Every Time I Think Of You I Bite My Lip And Bleed A Little" and "Revel Boy." They even included some songs that they used to perform before the breakup.
"This is so cool!" Sora heard a girl from behind him shout to her friend. "Since when did they get a new singer? He's so hot!" It was upsetting to think that most of the people in the room had no idea who Riku was. Assuming it had been over a year since he last performed in Bastion, there was a whole new generation of show-goers that had never even heard of him before.
Riku cleared his throat and finished off his bottle of water. "Okay. How much more time do we have left?" He blocked the light from his eyes so he could make out the outline of Squall on his sound booth perch. "Okay. Alright, time for one more!" The audience cheered as he turned around and instructed his band mates on what to play next. For a long moment, with seconds bleeding into minutes, 13 Hearts didn't do anything. Kids in the audience started growing impatient and shouting 'Freebird' and giving random whoops and hollers. After the quiet tension in the room reached its maximum, Riku smirked and stepped forward, grabbing the mic and pointing behind him to the band. Without Marluxia even needing to count down, it was as if they were all on the same wavelength and started playing the song at the same time.
"It's all been said before!
Remember when I told you modesty's a bitch?
You just take it for granted,
And now I've lost control!
LET'S GO!"
Riku started thrashing onstage with the rest of his band mates. Sora found himself caught in the rush of kids that started running into each other and throwing fists. He grunted and tried to clear a path to a calmer side of the floor, but he kept getting dragged back in. The music was just as violent as the people in the mosh pit, and Sora didn't want to be caught in the middle. Usually he could handle his own, but he was just starting to sober up and didn't think he could make it. There was a circle of people standing around and watching the pit, sometimes helping to pull people out who seemed hurt. Sora reached his hand out blindly, but was lost when someone's leg kicked his ankle and his feet fell out from under him. Suddenly, he found himself on the floor in the middle of a riot, and he was terrified.
"Riku, what's up? Hey!" Axel shouted from the stage, but kept playing. Marluxia's drumming missed a beat as their lead singer took a stage dive into a particularly vicious crowd and started beating people out of his way.
"I thought I saw you."
Sora, who had been curled up into a ball on the floor, didn't realize that most of the action around him had stopped. A large empty space had cleared around him, and the first thing he noticed were a pair of steel-toed boots a few feet away. Those boots were connected to a pair of torn up, faded skinny jeans, and a torn black shirt, and the most gorgeous face Sora had ever been graced to set eyes on. Even when he was incredibly pissed off, Riku was beautiful.
"What are you doing here?" Riku asked, his tone cold.
Sora stood up, feeling oddly touchy under the influence. "What are you doing here? I thought you quit."
Riku pounced, jumping across the distance between them and knocking Sora on his back. His eyes narrowed when he heard the smack of the brunet's head hitting the wooden floor. Riku's crystal clear eyes widened at the sight of seeing Sora again. This man had no purpose being in his life again.
"What the FUCK, Sora! You don't do this! You don't fucking DO THIS!" Riku pulled his hands back, dragging them through his short hair. Anxiety-ridden and frenetic. "Why did you come back? What were you trying to prove?"
The music was still going on onstage because none of the other band members could see what was happening past the sea of people. Most of the crowd was too distracted by the noise to notice, either. It was only the people nearby that murmured to each other nervously, nobody brave enough to pull Riku off the young man.
Once Sora had his wits about him, he shook off the dizziness and looked up at Riku. The punk had him pinned to the floor of the room and he looked like he was about to cry.
"Riku…" Sora whispered, his name sounding so new but natural coming from him. Not a day went by when he didn't think about the rambunctious beach bum that he fell in love with.
"Don't say it like you care," Riku mumbled, but there was a definite crack in his voice. He looked down and hid his face behind his hair. "You didn't know what it was like… All that time without you… What are you trying to prove?"
"Riku, I'm sorry, I-!"
"Sorry isn't good enough." Riku sat back on his haunches and Sora took the opportunity to pull his legs out from under him and sit up. He didn't know what to do. He wanted to touch the punk, but he was afraid of what might happen if he did.
"I didn't mean for things to turn out the way they did. Seriously. Riku, if I could have the chance to do it all over again I would have stayed at the harbor with you." Sora's eyes started to water when he noticed Riku's shoulders softly shifting up and down. The older man brought a calloused hand up to his face to press his eyes in a desperate bid to stop the tears. "…Riku."
Sora shifted so he was resting on his knees. He crawled closer to the crying punk and wrapped his arms around him, slowly rubbing his back. "Shh… It'll be okay… I'll leave if you-"
He was cut off when Riku threw his strong arms around Sora, cutting the brunet off from saying another word. "Shut up. I'm still fucking pissed at you." He held him closer, smothering his face into the younger man's chest and wiping his tears off on his shirt. It simply wasn't fair, it never was. "Leave again, and I'll never forgive you."
"I'm forgiven?" Sora asked. Riku's breath hitched and he pulled away, looking deep into his sky-blue eyes. Sora didn't know what else to say, so he swallowed his pride and tried to explain. "I split up with Kairi… I'm living with my brother now. Things've changed, Riku. I've- …What happened back at the harbor, I know that I was wrong. If I could rewind, I would. You've gotta believe me. A day doesn't go by that I don't think about you."
Riku closed his eyes and rested his head on Sora's shoulder. The brunet buried his face in the crook of the punk's neck and lost himself in the scent of sweat and Old Spice, with a tinge of Axel's cigarettes to be certain, but somewhere amongst it all it still seemed to smell like pure, crisp seawater.
"I'm still… really angry."
Sora sighed and pulled Riku closer, digging his fingers into his soft black shirt. "It'll get better," he said into the fabric, not even sure if Riku could hear him, but the boy continued to hold him even tighter. "…I'll make sure it gets better."
"What's he doing?"
"Are they …hugging?"
"The new guy's crying!"
"What the hell is going on here?"
Riku and Sora glanced up and saw Axel standing over them with a confused and worried look on his face. Riku had been really solid the entire trip and now he found him crumbling in the arms of the man that had destroyed him. He grabbed Sora by the shirt collar and pulled him off his friend. "You don't deserve to be here, Sora! Go home!"
The brunet was flung off into the crowd circling around them. Someone caught his back to make sure he didn't fall again and set him up on his feet. He looked behind him and saw Demyx, looking positively furious. "Back off, Axel." The musician's green eyes focused on the other punk and walked up to him quickly, pushing him in the chest.
"This doesn't concern you."
Sora frowned and tried to form a gap between Demyx and Axel. "Dem, no, it's okay. I deserve it," he stated, trying to say anything to direct the mohawked man's heated glare off the guitarist. He turned to Axel and pointed at him. "I'm not leaving. I'm not gonna run away again."
He walked around him and knelt back to Riku, who was watching the scene from the dance floor. The singer just smiled and shook his head. "Don't mind him," Riku sighed. "He's been a dick throughout the whole tour."
The crowd was starting to close in on the group. Axel and Demyx focused their seething energies to back the audience off them. There were some kids shouting in dismay as they kept getting pushed aside. Seifer was making his way through the gangs of people like an unstoppable freight train. "Alright," his voice boomed once he finally found everyone. "Show's over, get in the green room."
He ushered his charges through the crowd and shoved all four of them inside. The rest of the band had already finished playing and were waiting inside, all similarly shocked on seeing Sora there, except for Marluxia.
"Whoa, what's this?" Xigbar cried, standing up and getting defensive. Sora nervously took a step behind Demyx.
"Will you guys just cool off?" Demyx growled.
Sora looked around the room at everyone's angry faces. Xigbar seemed like he wanted to kill him. Luxord appeared hurt, as if Sora coming back was like reopening an old wound. Marluxia gave the impression of extreme indifference, although it was obvious that he was upset that Sora showed up on the night of their homecoming show. Everybody in the room just seemed very tense, except for Riku, who was staring at Sora with an almost vacant expression.
"…Should I go?" Sora asked him. This time he was asking for permission. Perhaps it would be easier for Riku to talk it out with his band mates if he weren't around.
Riku seemed to ignore the question as he stepped and reached out to the brunet, brushing his cheek. "You're hurt," he stated. Sora had gotten a few nicks and bruises from being in the mosh pit, but it was nothing he wasn't used to. The back of his head still hurt from when he was slammed against the floor, and he was sure he probably had dirt and dust all over his face.
"…I'm fine," Sora assured, suddenly feeling very nervous as Riku stepped up close and looked deeply at every scratch and bruise on his features. Being this close to the frontman made Sora's face slowly heat up. His hair was a lot shorter now, and his bangs clumped with sweat and brushed aside, making it easier to look into his eyes and see how much the punk seemed to care. His face was wearied and drained, but still full of life. Sora could tell that this tour must have taken a lot out of him. His eyes had bags under them, the size of which proved that he probably hadn't been sleeping well on the road.
There was a loud knock on the door, done in a special pattern that Seifer always used when he was about to barge in. Sure enough, the blond man wearing his purple beanie stuck his head in and looked towards Axel. "Hey. There's some guy out here named Mister Fa? He wants to talk to you." Everyone in the room did a quick look at each other. Nobody knew anybody by that name. Axel shook his head.
"Later. We're busy."
A hand grabbed Seifer's shoulder and pulled him back to talk to him. The bouncer nodded and poked his head back inside. Seifer was never one to smile, but the tiny, microscopic smirk was practically the equivalent of grinning ear-to-ear. "He said he's a representative of Red Dragon Records."
Ka-ching. Everybody's faces lifted and even if Seifer still considered 13 Hearts his rival at the end of the day, he couldn't stop being excited for them. Damn it.
"Woah, yeah!" Axel said animatedly. "Holy shit, let him in!" Seifer opened the door just enough to let an elderly Chinese man step inside the green room. He nodded with respect towards the band and grinned.
"Gentlemen, it's an honor to meet with you."
Axel took one of the folding chairs that was leaning against the wall and creaked it open for the man to sit on. "No, really, the honor's ours. Have a seat… uh…"
"Fa Zhou," the man stated, handing his card to Axel but insisting on remain standing. "I know you boys are probably very excited to be back home, but I didn't want to lose this opportunity to speak with you." Axel, Xigbar, Luxord, and Marluxia looked at the man with wide, stunned eyes. Demyx kept grinning like an idiot. Zhou reached into the inner pocket of his winter coat and pulled out 13 Hearts' independently released album that they sold for gas money at all their shows. "My… estranged daughter somehow found this while she was waiting tables in Lafayette. Normally our tastes in music are not the same, but this was a very big exception. Red Dragon has an entire sub-label dedicated to your genre. Somehow, you boys must have been flying under the radar all these years."
Everyone's jaw dropped as the label representative placed the very road-worn jewel case on the vacant chair in the center of the room. "Wow." Luxord scratched the back of his head and turned to Axel, unable to come up with anything intelligent to say.
"Yeah. It's sort of an old album. We recorded it after losing our lead singer about a year ago and we haven't had a chance to redo it."
"I'm well aware. I've done my research." Zhou smiled and reached into his pocket again, pulling out a copy of Fuu's zine, Magic Train, the particular issue about 13 Hearts' resurgence after Riku left. "I found this part to be particularly interesting. So this was an album recorded after a band tragedy, and if I understand correctly that young man singing outside was the old front man returning after little or no time on stage during his absence? You all were blessed with amazing talent."
Axel's face blushed with embarrassment. "Well, we've been seriously working hard, but with a lot of personal struggles we haven't been able to really focus a lot on marketing."
"Before I leave, how about we schedule a meeting? I would love to have everyone together in one place so I can discuss plans for a very possible future with you under Red Dragon's label."
The entire band was far too ambitious to wait. "Why bother?" Axel laughed. "You've got everybody here right now!"
Zhou tilted his head to the side. "I was hoping to speak with Riku as well. He left with his friend as I came in. I figured he had somewhere he had to be."
The entire band suddenly noticed that Riku and Sora had somehow magically disappeared. Axel's jaw dropped as his eyes searched the space, noticing that they weren't behind any of the C-stands and equipment cases that were stored in the green room. "No way…"
The man chuckled and pointed to the card in Axel's hand. "The number on there is my personal cell number. I don't hand that out to just anyone. Make sure to call me as soon as possible, Mister Paul."
Axel still remained shocked. This man really had done his research. "O-Okay, then. Thank you so much Mister Fa. We'll try and contact you tomorrow." The representative nodded his head appreciatively and exited the room. There was a long moment of silence before anybody in the band spoke.
"Ho-ly SHIT!" Xigbar screamed, jumping up and down and hugging Luxord. "Fuckin' A you guys! Red Dragon wants us!" Luxord joined in Xigbar's happiness and started laughing.
"This is amazing! They never approach a band like that! Holy shit!" the bassist exclaimed. He was immediately put off that Axel seemed somewhat angry. "Come on, git. At least act a little happy about this."
"Where did Riku go?" Axel said. If Riku were still here they would have had a set meeting with Mister Fa. Opportunities like these weren't meant to be taken advantage of, and Axel didn't want to feel let down if a meeting never actually came to fruition.
"Relax," Marluxia sighed. "Where do you think he went? Just because he's happy doesn't mean you can't be."
"What's that supposed to mean?"
The drummer rolled his eyes like it was the most obvious idea on earth. "What do you think it means?" he replied with the exact same incensed tone. Marluxia wasn't really upset with Axel, he was just upset that sometimes his old friend could be so fucking dense.
Demyx made his presence known again when he coughed slightly and got the guitarist's attention. "You know, if I had known you'd be this upset, I would have just given you the damn number," the punk said with a smirk. Axel nervously directed his gaze to the floor. He had been selfish for putting his virtues in front of Riku's. Of course he wanted his friend to be happy. He would have done the same thing. "Do you want to know where he is?"
oooOOOoooOOOoooOOOooo
"He said that to you?"
"Yeah," Roxas sighed.
"Wow. Harsh."
"I try not to think about it." Naminé looked at him in a completely unbelieving way. He rolled his eyes and gave in slightly. "Okay, I think about it a lot. What he said wasn't totally unjustified. He was saying what was on his mind at the time. I guess he didn't really think that he would feel bad leaving for two months right afterwards." He shrugged his shoulders and took another sip of coffee, his second cup that night. "I was a little upset that he never called, though. …But I wouldn't know what to say if he did. I think I just needed time."
"Don't worry, Roxas. I don't want to be your little cliché, but some things happen for a reason. If Axel was one hundred percent honest about what he said to you, then… well, fuck him." Roxas looked at her like she had just insulted her mother. Naminé never cursed. Ever. "You know what I mean," she muttered, feeling embarrassed that she let herself use such language, even if it was for emphasis. "I'm just saying don't let him get to you. If you guys weren't meant to be, there's lots of other fish out there and stuff, right? Don't let it bring you down."
There was something odd and yet refreshing about Naminé telling him it would all be alright. It certainly didn't feel like it at the time, but things would turn up golden. They always do.
"Oh!" she cried, covering her mouth with her hand. "I completely forgot you're here to sing! You should tell them to turn off the radio and sing a song."
Roxas lowered his head and mumbled, "I don't sing…"
"Of course you do! Remember high school choir?" Roxas was finally starting to seriously regret ever signing up for that stupid course. "You're amazing, Rox. Never let anyone say otherwise. Just one song… Please?" She was too adorable when she pouted like that. Roxas smirked and stood up, popping his back.
"Okay. I think I've got about one left in me for the night." He walked up to the front counter and asked them to turn the radio down. As he made his way back to the small stage and turned his amp on, he nervously tried to think of what he could possibly perform. He adjusted the mic stand so that it was placed in front of him. With the mic turned on, it felt like everyone in the coffee house could hear his heart jumping out of his throat, even if there were only three people there this late.
"I don't really know what to call this… It's a poem… I had to read it for a class, and… I'm sorry if I butcher it…" Roxas gritted his teeth when he realized he was mumbling and rambling at the same time. He closed his eyes and focused on his song. He blocked out all of the outside sounds and images and just focused on that one night in Axel's apartment when they sat together and came up with something amazing. After a short introduction on his guitar, a simple melody he had memorized by heart, he started to sing.
"This spell of the night I cannot pretend
The simple truths the night brings-
Meant most to me, my dearest friend
You showed me how to pull from strings-
From the start you knew what you wanted
A solution to unspoken deeds-
But for all the feelings left tainted
With my lonely heart feeling the sting-
The honest cure of the moment
When I look in your eyes and sing-
The fathoms cannot overcome us
The simple truths the night brings."
The first thing he saw when he opened his eyes was Axel. He was panting and sweating like he had just finished running a marathon. His makeup was flaking and his cheeks were bright red. Naminé clapped softly for the end of the song, thinking that it was really quite good. When she noticed Roxas seemed distracted she glanced over her shoulder and saw Axel.
"Oh my," she stated, taking a final sip from her tea and wrapping her scarf around her neck again. "Time just flew by… I should go pick up Marluxia. Roxas, you were fantastic! I'll talk to you later." She gave the punk a smile before she left, but he only had eyes for Roxas. Their eyes remained locked for seconds before Roxas sighed and bounced off his stool, grabbing his guitar bag and starting to pack up. After his bag was zipped up and all his wires were in place, he turned and saw that Axel was still standing the exact same way, perhaps with a slightly different face. He looked like was about to cry. The blond frowned and realized he'd have to walk past him if he ever wanted to leave.
"…Roxas, I'm sorry," Axel said. "I didn't know what had happened. I accidentally deleted you from my phone. …Okay, it wasn't an accident, but I was really sleepy at the time. Riku didn't tell me you went all the way to his place. Rox, you have no idea what you did. You've changed everything! We got…" He trailed off when he realized that Roxas wasn't listening. He was carefully placing his guitar bag on his left shoulder and holding the amp with his right hand, trying to balance. "Do you need any help carrying that stuff up?"
Roxas assumed that Axel still thought he lived in the same apartment above the café. "I've moved. I'll be alright," he stated stiffly. He had every intention of just brushing past Axel when the man stopped him.
"Listen, I'm sorry. Will you just wait a second, I have-"
"Hey, guys?" the barista asked from behind the counter. Roxas and Axel stopped to look at her, noticing that one of the other workers had already started stacking chairs on top of tables. "We need to start mopping the floors. Do y'all mind stepping outside?"
"No, of course not. Sorry," Roxas apologized.
"See you next week, hun!"
As soon as they stepped outside the evening frost was starting to nip at their faces. "You stole my gig," Axel stated.
Roxas glanced at him. "You left it."
Axel frowned. At first he was angry at Roxas for walking out on him, but all he managed to do was turn everything around and do the exact same thing to him. When he originally tried to get the blond's number back, starting with Demyx, his friend suggested taking the time on tour to seriously think about what Roxas meant to him. He wondered if Roxas had done the same.
"I can't believe you kept practicing guitar. And now you're good enough for actual gigs."
"Chyeah," Roxas muttered. "Not good enough for actual tips, though." For the record, Roxas got jack for the night.
Axel chuckled warmly and continued, "It's an improvement, though. Do you wanna know how much 13 Hearts got paid on our first gig?" he asked, leaving a break for Roxas to answer. When it became apparent that the blond wasn't going to reply, he answered himself. "Nothing. We actually paid fifty bucks to rent a stage at this shitty little club down closer to the beach."
Roxas sighed and started walking off. Axel followed closely behind and kept the conversation going. "The tour was really fun. I guess you've heard by now that Riku's back, right?" Roxas had heard from Fuu that Riku was in a better place now. He was in fact very interested in the idea that Riku was back in the band, but he tried not to show it. After all, he was angry. "Well, I was able to convince him to try singing a few songs, and he just came alive onstage. It was amazing. I really wish you could have been there, at least tonight. I heard that you got a job at the Organization. I guess we'll be seeing a lot of each other, huh? …Are you sure you don't want me to carry any of that?"
Axel reached forward to grab the amp out of Roxas' right hand and ended up brushing his hand against his shoulder instead. The boy hissed in pain and dropped the amp on the sidewalk. "Oh, crap!" Axel cried, terrified that he seriously hurt him somehow. "Are you okay?"
"Yes, I'm fine," Roxas bit out, glaring daggers at the amp on the ground. "It's yours anyway. Go ahead and carry it if you want it back." Axel had almost forgotten that he had let Roxas borrow one of his amps and guitars. He picked the amp off the ground and held it with both hands so it wouldn't throw off his center. They continued walking for a few silent minutes, Roxas leading the way while Axel followed beside him.
"Rox, I want you to say something. Yell at me or… anything. This whole silent treatment thing doesn't cut it for me."
Roxas could feel a small smirk growing across his lips. Like he was going to give in that easily. "I'm not gonna yell at you," Roxas sighed. "And I'm honestly not that mad at you. I was just kind of hoping you'd realize what an asshole you are."
"You mean 'were.' In case you've missed it I've tried apologizing like a billion times." Axel could see the amused quirk in Roxas' lips. There was a light at the end of this tunnel.
"No. You're still a jerk. I still have a hard time believing it… I could have had Naminé and instead I end up with you."
"You really know how to make a guy feel wanted."
The boy shrugged. "I'm serious. Let's pretend that the embodiment of everything I used to know is… your shoulder." Axel cautiously nodded along. "And my fist is the catalyst after meeting you." Roxas punched Axel in the shoulder.
"Ow! Hey, precious cargo, here," Axel whined, gaining a tighter grip on his amp. "What was that for?"
"That was for leaving."
"Roxas…"
"Which I've realized you've already apologized for. Like a billion times. So I'm going to drop it starting now."
Axel paused. "You're dropping it?"
"Do I look like a parrot?"
"Just like that?"
"Not exactly. I've got a couple ideas on how you can make it up to me."
Now Axel was grinning ear-to-ear. He turned halfway and sidestepped in front of Roxas, slowing down until they were stopped in the middle of the sidewalk. "Oh, really now?" he asked slyly, using the weight of the amp to bring him down a few inches closer to unamused boy. "And what could those ideas possibly be?"
Roxas was playing along. Axel almost had a heart attack when the blond raised his brows, looking at him with glassy half-lidded eyes, and started standing on his toes to lean in nice and close. "I've got plans," he whispered hotly before suddenly stepping around Axel and avoiding the punk altogether.
Axel's eyes rolled to the back of his head as he released a painful grunt. "Goddamn you're so good at that!" he cried, trying to ignore the goosebumps growing on his arms. Roxas was all smiles about his clever getaway. Axel caught up quickly and continued to amble by his side. "You're being surprisingly reasonable about this."
"You're acting like I'm usually not?" Roxas asked. Axel blinked and tried to process that statement. If he were asked to make a list of all the reasonable people he knew, Roxas wouldn't even chart.
"So… Where does that leave us?" Now it was Roxas' turn to stop and think. He'd been holding off assigning labels to Axel for a very long time, and perhaps it was time to come clean. "Did you really leave Naminé for me?"
Roxas sighed. "Well, it was more like… she left me for somebody else." Axel's eyes bugged out and before he could ask any inquiring questions Roxas kept talking. "It would have happened eventually, if not then. Sora divorced Kairi so he could be with Riku."
Axel hadn't heard that little nugget of news, unsure of how he felt about it. "Seriously?"
Roxas nodded. "Yeah. It's the same thing. If he didn't, he would have eventually found his way to the harbor at some point and found him like I did." Roxas paused, furrowing his brows for a moment in thought. He couldn't imagine his brother seeing Riku the way he was when Roxas met him. It was too tragic. "I wouldn't want that."
"He was at the show tonight."
The blond perked up. "Who? Sora? Why?"
Axel was still a little upset about his best friend and the person responsible for fucking everything up running off together, but couldn't help smirking at how cute Roxas looked when he was confused. "Hell if I know. They probably went somewhere to be alone."
"I hope he isn't at the apartment…"
They continued walking in silence. Roxas was trying to adjust to the idea of Axel being back, and standing right next to him. He had replayed this moment hundreds of times in his head, although it usually started with them running into each other at the Organization, or Axel suddenly deciding to call him, or in an even less likely event, Roxas having the guts to call the musician himself. Seeing Axel at the café was not in his plans at all.
"That was a really awesome song."
"It took some work," Roxas corrected. He wondered if Axel even remembered. Roxas did kind of steal the sheet music out of the punk's home. "…If you remember, we-"
"It's our song," Axel completed with a warm smile on his face. "At least- our melody. I didn't forget. You did a beautiful job with it." He looked down at Roxas and his smile grew. The blond pretended not to notice and looked away, but Axel could still see his beet red ears sticking out between tufts of golden hair. "Hey Roxas," he started, waiting to get the young man's attention. Roxas glanced at him, his blue eyes like oases on his red face. "Can I hold your hand?" Roxas immediately looked away and made an awkward sound in the back of his throat. "You okay?"
Roxas had to fight every nerve in his body to stop him from calling Axel 'cute.' He adjusted his features to indifferent again and quickly glanced back at him. "…You don't have to ask."
Without another word, Axel took Roxas' hand in his. The boy suddenly felt like he was transferred back to middle school where handholding was suddenly the be-all end-all of existence. This wasn't just normal handholding, either. Axel had positioned it so that their fingers were interlaced, which for some reason seemed like a really big deal to Roxas.
"I thought about you every day while we were on tour," Axel explained. "I kept wondering how you were holding up. If you were really disappointed in me…" He paused for a moment. "Is everything okay?"
Roxas assumed he was asking about the situation he had walked in on. "You know, if you'd been here a few weeks ago it would've been pretty bad, but…" Roxas was about to elaborate when he remembered Axel saw Naminé. "Well, you saw her, right? She's like four months pregnant right now." Although she wasn't obviously showing yet, perhaps it was only something someone would notice if they had spent significant amounts of time around her.
Axel's eyes bugged out and he stopped walking entirely. Roxas winced slightly when his arm was pulled back. "You're going to be a dad?"
There was a moment where Roxas wasn't certain if the guitarist was being serious. Had seriously nobody told him? "No. …I mean, probably not. She had been sleeping with someone else for a while before we broke up. I didn't really know about it 'til she told me she was knocked up."
Axel didn't know whether to be relieved or continue stoking the worried flame in the pit of his stomach. He'd gotten awfully good at it while on tour. "Waitwaitwait- She was cheating on you?"
Roxas wasn't incredibly fond of that term. He had been through an insurmountable ordeal while Axel was away, and honestly everything felt different now that he was here again. Marluxia wasn't a shadowy figure with questionable morals, he was a businessman and an entrepreneur. Naminé wasn't a young woman whose life was falling apart, she was an aspiring artist on the brink of a new adventure with a partner who could truly care and support her with all their heart. It was difficult, at times excessively so, but Roxas was trying his best to love her regardless. She returned the favor, he could see it in her eyes.
"Well, I wasn't exactly being Mister Monogamous with her, you know…" Roxas supposed that if Axel didn't know about Naminé, then he probably didn't know what his drummer had done. He decided to leave this thread dangling and let Marluxia explain himself later.
Axel squeezed his hand and smiled. "Monogamy is when you're married or having sexual relations with one person at a time. You weren't married yet and we didn't have sex." Now it was Roxas' turn to stop dead in his tracks. Axel glanced back at him with a guilty look on his face. "Well… it is."
"That's incredibly archaic," Roxas groused. Axel only shrugged his shoulders in response. "Okay, fine, so what would you call what we did if it wasn't sex, then?"
"I'd say it was… flirting, at best."
"So what happened on my birthday was just flirting for you? At best?" If Roxas was simply angry before, he didn't know how to label himself now. It definitely didn't help that Axel had a ridiculously benevolent grin on his face. "You're a pretty terrible flirt."
"Now we both know that's not true," Axel practically purred. "What would you call it, then?"
"Oh, I don't know, sex," he grunted under his breath. "A fling?" At least that word had some sort of wild connotation. Just because there wasn't penetrative sex didn't mean what they had wasn't sexual.
"How about… a liaison?"
"You make it sound like we were spies."
"Well, there was a lot of sneaking around on my part."
"How about a dalliance? That's nice and casual for you, huh? Just how many people have you done it with since then?" Roxas didn't really like the idea of Axel being on tour and having all the groupie sex he could want.
"Oh, wow, jealous much?" Axel laughed. "How about none? I'm not a jet setter, Rox, I'm a pretty average guy."
Roxas couldn't help but disagree. Axel was anything but average. With his piercings, his tattoos, his makeup, and all the way to his awfully dyed hair, he was one of the most unique people in the world. If there was anything Roxas had learned, however, it was that no matter how crazy Axel's looks and occupations were, he would always be the simple, down-to-earth person that he was. "Why did you do that to your hair? I kinda liked it the way it was."
Roxas reached out with his other arm and pulled on a particularly long strand that was framing his face. It seemed like he hadn't re-dyed it since he had left, and his roots were growing in. Axel had never let his hair color stay stagnant for so long that his true colors started shining through. From under the light of the street lamp, Roxas laughed loudly. "Oh my God. You're a natural ginger kid, aren't you?" He was used to Axel having fire engine red hair, but he definitely wasn't used to an Axel with natural red hair.
He put the amp down and turned to grip Roxas' hand, pulling it away from his hair. "And it's a secret I'm keeping to my grave," Axel stated, giving Roxas a stern look. "Dammit, I didn't realize it was getting that bad," he sighed, scratching his scalp. He nodded his head and made a decision as he picked up the amp and they continued walking. "Alright, I'm dyeing this tomorrow."
"It's gonna fall out if you keep doing that."
Axel sighed. "Yeah… I know."
"Can I help?"
It seemed like Roxas said something new every day that made Axel speechless. Somehow they ended up in front of a twenty-four hour convenience mart. Roxas led Axel inside by his hand to the hair care aisle. They spent a good half hour looking at the swatches and comparing brands, Roxas laughing at the idea of dyeing the hair neon pink.
"Why don't you do something with yours?" Axel asked picking up a tub of bubblegum blue dye. "Your hair would look hot with some of this in it."
Roxas rolled his eyes and took the tub from his hand, placing it back on the display. "I think I've had enough rebellion for a whole lifetime." To make his point, he gave Axel's hand a tight squeeze. He picked up a tub of red hair dye and smirked. "I guess there's no point in fighting the classics. Let's check out, it's getting late." Before they left Axel grabbed some more hair care products, insisting they were absolutely necessary to the process.
It was past midnight when they left the convenience store. Three blocks later they arrived at Roxas' apartment. "So… This is where you live now, huh?" Axel asked, trying to come up with small talk. He didn't want the night to end, at least not yet.
"If you want me to invite you in for coffee, Sora drank the last of it this afternoon," Roxas deadpanned. He unlocked the door and Axel held out the amp for him to take. "That's yours," the blond reminded.
"Yeah, I know," Axel said with a shrug. "Keep it. You were getting more use out of it than me…"
"…Thanks," Roxas mumbled, looking down at the heavy amp in his hand. The strain stretched the skin on his shoulder and awakened the dull pain from before.
"So what does this mean now?" Axel asked, biting his lip nervously.
Roxas was glancing towards the small crack opened in the front door. "Well… I mean, I've got tea."
"Huh?"
"We're out of coffee," Roxas reiterated. His face was a hot mess. "But there's tea. If you want some."
"Oh I definitely want some." The stupid smirk stayed on the punk's face even after Roxas smacked him on the side of the leg with the amp. The younger man pushed the door open with his free hand and left it open for Axel to follow. Roxas tried to stay true to his word as he filled the kettle with water and placed it on the stove.
"Tell me about your tour," Roxas said. Axel collapsed on one of the couches and sighed loudly.
"It was exhausting. A lot of small towns that usually don't get a lot of bands traveling through, so the kids were really amped to see us, so at least that was cool."
Roxas shot him a short glare from across the counter. "Shoes off the furniture." He turned his attention back to the cabinet to find the sweetener and heard Axel grunt as he sat back up to remove the old combat boots from his feet.
"The band we toured with was crazy."
"Wayfinder?"
"Yeah! The bassist was this small dude who looked just like you. But with, like, tattoos."
Roxas paused when taking the sugar off the shelf. "Just like me?"
"Yeah, I have a crappy picture of him on here somewhere," he said, digging his cell from his back pocket and pressing a few buttons. "I showed him a picture of you and he freaked."
"You have a picture of me?" Roxas asked. He didn't remember ever sending him one. "From when?"
Axel kind of snorted and tried lamely to hide his smile behind his hand. "Remember that one time we kind of drew on your face with a silver sharpie?"
Roxas' lips were in a thin line, unamused. "Somebody wants arsenic in their tea."
"Nooooo!"
On cue the kettle started whistling and Roxas turned to switch off the stove. "Keep talking. What was your favorite city?"
"Boston was pretty rad. Never been there before. We got there right before a really nasty snow storm. Actually, we had to miss a couple shows up north because of it, but Wayfinder kept promising they'd be back."
"Will you guys be there with them?"
"Probably not, no. It's not worth it to travel that far just for a couple shows, at our pay level. Would be fun, though."
"I'm sure you'll make it out there eventually."
"Tell you what, nothing beats a winter down here. So close to beach. It's practically heaven."
"It's been rainy."
Roxas finally exited the kitchen with two mugs. Axel was so tall that when he laid down on the couch there wasn't a cushion left untouched from his sprawl. He pulled himself together and left a seat free for Roxas to sit down. Roxas handed off one of the mugs and took the seat, using his free hand to grab Axel's legs and place them over his lap. The move stunned Axel speechless for a moment, a feat unknown to Roxas.
"Keep talking," Roxas insisted. "Did you write any new songs while on tour?"
Axel grinned foolishly large. Before he answered he curled his body in a little tighter, a little closer to Roxas. "A lot, actually. Having Riku back has been amazing. We wrote a lot of stuff together. We made this new song called Cheers that we debuted on the road, and talked a lot about making a new record. Most bands don't make much money when they tour, but we actually made it out in the black and then some. Probably thanks to Luxord keeping tabs on the money… But that combined with money earned from the gallery once it picks up steam, if it all works out the way Mars and Lux have planned, we should save up enough money for time at a recording studio. A nice one."
"It's all coming together, huh?"
Axel looked down into his mug and smiled, content to just enjoy the smell as Roxas idly teased a loose thread on the hem of his jeans. "Yeah, I guess they kind of are."
Axel kept talking into the early morning, as if he hadn't spent all day on the road and then playing a massive and chaotic return show. Until they both passed out on the couch, the night was filled with stories of life on the road, stupid memories from going to high school with Riku and Marluxia, and hopes for the future of his band's new beginning.
And Roxas listened and clung to every word.
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THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR READING!
I AM SO SORRY THIS CHAPTER IS SO LATE! As of right this second I still have four minutes left until midnight Friday (central time…) until I miss my "I'll post by the end of the day!" deadline.
So, in the original version of the story, Roxas didn't invite Axel in at the end of the night. I rewrote a lot of this to makeup for the big changes in the story. Originally this was the "last chapter" of Ballad and there were a few other "bonus chapters" I posted a while after this one. Eventually I think all the chapters blended together pretty seamlessly so it didn't make much sense for this chapter to end the way it did (with Roxas giving Axel a goodnight kiss at the door and letting the punk walk home with his amp). So Roxas invites Axel in for tea but they're both so exhausted that they crash on the couch before anything else happens!
So if you're wondering why this chapter was so late, I've been busy working on a print that I'll have in an upcoming art show at a gallery in town. It's a videogame themed art show and I got invited to do a print for Kingdom Hearts! I was very honored but it took A LOT OF WORK BECAUSE IM A PROCRASTINATING SONUVA. It's a screenprint so it needed to be finished far enough in advance to make up for time at the print studio. They promise to have it ready before the show, so… HERE'S HOPING.
Next chapter starts ALL NEW MATERIAL! 100% fresh. I hope you guys enjoy it! Still several updates left to go…
Once again thank you SO MUCH for reading my story! It really means a lot. One of the best ways to show me if you appreciated it at all is to leave a review! Please review! FOLLOW/FAV! Really, it means a ton to me! Thank you! (and shout out to my beta for the quick turnaround! She also pestered me to add accents to Naminé's name so thank her for that.)