Ballad

by skinnedkneedmisfit

All Namine wanted was a cover band for her wedding. All Roxas wanted was to make his fiancee happy. All Axel wanted was to be heard.

24. B-Side: Teenage Dirtbag part three

Happy AkuRoku Day!

THANK YOU FOR BEING SO PATIENT. Okay here we go…

…

In this chapter: History repeats itself but that's okay, as long as you learn from the past.

xxxXXXxxx

Ballad B-Side
"Teenage Dirtbag" part three

xxxXXXxxx

Sora woke up to a distantly familiar feeling of warmth. The sun escaped through the closed blinds of the room and threatened to peel open his eyes at any minute. Before it could, he stretched out his arms and realized something that made a hole in the pit of his stomach.

Riku was gone and the couch was cold.

He jolted up and looked around, remembering he was in Axel's apartment. Right before the panic sat in, he heard pipes in the walls creak and the sound of a door in Axel's room opening and closing. A few minutes passed before Riku appeared in the doorway, wearing a basic white shirt and blue pajama bottoms with a towel draped over his shoulders. Without his makeup on and in such basic clothes, he looked so domesticated. Seeing him like this only made Sora smile.

"Hey…" Riku said, looking like he had more to say on the tip of his tongue when a loud beep came from the kitchen. His eyes dragged away from Sora as he made a thoughtful "Oh" and rushed over to the oven. Sora wobbled to his feet and glanced inside the kitchen. He picked up a cardboard food box on the countertop and flipped it over to see what was cooking. It looked like Riku had swiped some ready made flash-frozen sausage biscuits from Axel's freezer, and if that wasn't the sweetest thing in the world, Sora didn't know what was.

"Y'know it's unsafe to leave the oven on unattended. Coulda burned the whole complex down." The watered down glare Sora received through soggy bangs wasn't lost on him.

"Do you want one or not?" It must have been a rhetorical question because he had already taken out two plates and had placed a couple biscuits on either one. "What do you wanna drink? The OJ's probably bad but I think the apple juice still has a few good days left."

Sora ended up choosing the apple juice, which tasted fine. Their breakfast was spent in companionable silence, except for the few moments Riku had something to say. "So, Axel never came home last night."

The brunet looked towards the bedroom door. "Oh?"

"Yeah, still not home, either. I haven't heard from him." He picked up his cell phone that had been sitting on the kitchen counter and checked the screen before setting it back down.

"Hm." Sora briefly wondered how his brother was doing. Although it wasn't like he was constantly checking his cell for updates, he had a feeling that the redheaded punk probably found him by now. Hopefully things were going well with them. "How'd you sleep?"

"Good. N'you?"

His response came out in a slow, impulsive smile. "Perfect."

After a few more bites, Sora noticed Riku's leg starting to bounce in that way he remembered meaning the boy had something on his mind. "So… I mean, whenever you're ready, can we…"

"You wanna know about the rest of my story." Riku's mouth was filled with food so he could only nod his head. "Okay, well… the rest of the summer after Demyx left was insanely uneventful. Nothing happened, but when school started, it looked like things were shaping up…"

°o°

Getting Roxas prepared for high school was an awkward task. Since Sora had already spent two long, difficult years in the pit, their parents assumed he was the one most qualified to get his brother assimilated into the rigmarole of student life. It occurred to Sora that he was the same age as Demyx when he first entered high school, and the thought terrified him. How on Earth did Demyx seem so cool and collected all that time when Sora still felt so clueless?

But Sora followed through on his parent's wishes and drove Roxas to school on their first day. "You got your schedule?"

Roxas pulled a folded up sheet of paper out of his backpack. "It says I have health class first period." Sora smiled. "And, uh… Biology, Lit, P.E., lunch break, then German, History, and Choir."

Sora's ears perked at this. "You're taking Choir?"

"Well- it was mom's idea. I didn't really want to, but…"

"I think it's a great idea!" Sora said. The gears were already turning as he pulled into an empty space in the student parking lot.

"You do?" Roxas asked, although it was more flat and monotone, like he didn't believe a word his older brother was spewing. Perhaps he was right.

"Absolutely! Getting into extracurriculars on the ground floor really makes the rest of the rest of the school year so much easier. Like, you know how I'm in Latin Club?"

A blond eyebrow disappeared behind blond bangs. "You're not in Latin Club."

"But I take Latin classes, which is practically the same thing."

"Whatever. Say something to me in Latin."

"Shuteaus Fuckupeaus. There. Poetry."

Roxas only frowned as they passed through the front entrance of the school together. "I thought you told me you got an A in that class…"

"Anyway, Health is going to be in the science wing over there," Sora said, pointing to the wing across the courtyard where he spent a pleasant year as a freshman getting to know Demyx.

"I know. They went over all this at orientation."

"Hey Roxas!"

Both Sora and his little brother looked over their shoulder to see a skinny boy he recognized as Roxas' friend Hayner. The boy caught up and pulled out his schedule.

"What classes do you have, man? I found out I have History last period, when do you have it?" The two of them started rejoicing and mourning the classes that they did and didn't share. It was so lucky that Roxas had decent friends to kick high school off with. Without Demyx and even Rapunzel around, it felt a little empty for Sora.

Fortunately, all was not lost, and he shared all his core classes with at least Tidus or Wakka, sometimes both. Classes seemed like they would be simple, as long as he continued his usual routine of going to the library after school and studying, even if Demyx wouldn't be there. Although, after school today, he was curious. He didn't have homework or anything, there wasn't anything to really study, so he decided, just on a whim, to check out the choir room after the final bell rang. Just to check up on his brother. That was a good alibi.

The group was being let out right as he arrived. Sora watched as they filed out, waiting for Roxas to show up, until someone caught his eye. "…Phillip?"

The senior, looking like a giant standing amongst the freshmen that were leaving the classroom, paused and looked over. A look of warm familiarity washed over his face. "Sora! It's good to see you."

"What're you doing in a beginners class, golden boy?" It was all coming to him easily, flirting just like he did with Flynn. Smile at certain times, lower the voice at certain words. Sora didn't know where he got it from, but it just came so naturally.

Phillip shook his head and drew attention to a folder in his hand. "I had the last period off on my original schedule so I checked with the coach to see if she needed an assistant. Beginner classes are famously chaotic."

"That's very noble of you, giving up a free hour when you could be going home," Sora said with a soft laugh.

"Yeah, well…" he flipped open the folder and glanced at it. A sheet of paper inside appeared to be a class attendance record. "…When I saw a Strife boy on the roster I knew you wouldn't be far behind."

Phillip glanced up from the attendance record and made brief, hot eye contact with Sora. Even the younger boy could feel his face heating up like an inferno. His heart was pounding in his ears that he almost didn't hear his brother come up and talk to him.

"You ready to go?" Roxas asked, noticing nothing.

Sora glanced over to him and nodded briskly. "Yeah! Yeah, sorry, I need to stop by my locker first." He turned back to Phillip. "I- uh…"

"I'll see you tomorrow," the senior boy said softly, like a song. He waved goodbye and honestly could have been talking to either of them, and Sora soon discovered that Phillip had planned it out that way from the beginning.

"So, how was your first day?" Sora asked on their way to his locker. Roxas started talking, but honestly Sora was still busy trying to stop his head from spinning from what Phillip had said. Did this mean that… Was Phillip actually calling Sora out? Did this mean it was his turn to reciprocate? How was he supposed to respond to something like that? God, he looked so cute glancing up at him from the choir roster like that.

"Isn't your locker back there?" he managed to hear Roxas say. Sora stopped and looked around and, yes, his locker was a few yards behind them. "Are you okay? You seem distracted."

"Your mom's distracted," he muttered, walking back to his locker and spinning in his combination. He dumped all his binders inside. First day, no homework, he was going to enjoy an empty backpack for a long as he could manage.

The next day he waited for Roxas outside the choir room again. His last class of the day was nearby, and if he managed to bullet out of there, he would arrive before the teacher excused the class for the day. He saw his brother march out of the room looking pleased as punch.

"Today the teacher listened to us sing and assigned parts of the choir we'd be in," he said happily. "I'm a tenor!"

"That's cool," Sora said. Or at least, he assumed. He didn't know anything about music, really. "That is cool, right?"

Roxas rolled his eyes. "Yeah, it's cool. She said if I practice really hard I could earn a solo by the end-of-year concert!"

"Well, hey! That is cool! You gotta keep practicing, though." Sora was genuinely happy for his brother. He was worried the little blond would follow in his big brother's footsteps and just carelessly glide through high school without joining any clubs.

"Yes, he will," Phillip said from behind them. Both of them turned and saw the older boy's confident smirk. "He has talent, I was impressed," he said to Sora.

Sora grinned crookedly. "I think you'll find lots of things about a Strife boy to be impressed about."

Phillip cocked a brow, but Roxas didn't notice and he tugged on Sora's sleeve, embarrassed. "C'mon, I need to go to my locker before we go," he whined.

Playfully, Sora grabbed his brother's shoulder and turned him around, pushing him down the hall. "Well then let's go to your precious locker, brat!" Roxas laughed and stumbled towards the exit with his brother on his heels. After they were almost at his locker in the freshman wing, Sora snapped his fingers.

"Damn! I forgot my binder in my last class. Wait at your locker, I'll be right back." Sora turned on his heel and ran down the hall in the opposite direction they came.

Of course, he was lying through his teeth. As soon as he was out of eyesight from Roxas he sprinted down the stairs and back to the choir room. The door was open, but there was nobody inside as he stepped in and took a quick glance around.

"Dammit," he sighed under his breath.

"Oh!"

Phillip stood in the doorway, a warm stack of freshly Xeroxed sheet music in his arms. There they stood, staring at each other awkwardly for a moment. Finally, Sora decided to break the ice in that tactful way Sora was well known for.

"So. Are you gay?"

Phillip's eyes went wide, mouth open as if he were about to say something. Before making a sound, though, he took a slow step backwards and closed the classroom door. "…How do you want me to answer that?" he asked, placing the papers on the teacher's desk.

"I hope it's pretty obvious."

Phillip paused to consider the best course of action. "Y'know, I wanted to ask you out years ago, but that Demyx kid was hanging all over you. I was surprised Rider was able to make his move."

Sora tilted his head. "You knew about Flynn?"

"It was hardly a secret. Seeing the way you two acted around each other it was obvious something was going down, especially at his party last summer. I figured it was best if I just… graciously bowed out."

"Well, now that Demyx and Flynn are out of the picture, what're you gonna do?"

Phillip's mouth pulled into a smirk, eyes dead set on Sora's and not looking away even when the door opened and the teacher walked in.

"Thank you so much for making those copies, and- oh, hello!" she said, noticing Sora. "New recruit?"

Phillip was still gazing and didn't even try to answer her. Finally, Sora tore his eyes away and put on his nice smile for the older woman. She was short with cropped, jet-black hair, and only stood up to Sora's shoulders. Sora wasn't especially tall compared to most other boys, so he couldn't help but notice as the choir coach looked up at him with sparkling, hopeful eyes. "Unfortunately not. My name's Sora, I'm Roxas Strife's older brother." He held out his hand and the teacher shook it graciously.

"He's got talent! It's rough, but I'd like see where we can take him."

"Yeah, Rox is pretty special. He was really psyched about this class so I just wanted to check it out."

"Well, that's so wonderful to hear," the teacher replied, truly touched. Sora assumed she was probably up to her shoulders in smarmy teenagers that it was nice to have someone being genuinely nice about her class.

Sora drew back his hand and glanced back at Phillip, who was still looking at him but had at least toned down his smirk. "Ahem, well I gotta get back to Rox. I'll see you later," he said to Phillip. His speech felt stilted in front of the teacher. Phillip only casually nodded his head at Sora before he left the room.

And Sora was… confused. Even more confused than before and it was relentlessly frustrating. Did Phillip want to date or not? He puffed his cheeks up in disappointment as he marched back to his brother's locker, where he found him waiting with his back leaning against the cool metal surface.

"You get what you needed?" Roxas asked.

Sora sighed loudly. "No."

"…Well, did you leave it in your locker or something?"

"What?"

Roxas looked upset. "Your binder."

"Wha- No, what? There was no binder, Rox." God, it was almost pathetic how naive his brother was sometimes. "Nevermind. It's stupid."

Roxas decided to let it drop, because there was no dealing with his brother if he didn't want to talk about it. "Okay. So, they gave us some sheet music and we have to read it and write down the notes. See? Like that's a c-minor." He was showing his worksheet to Sora, and the older boy tried his best to seem interested.

That night he got a phone call from Demyx but missed it because he was eating dinner with his family. When he tried to call back the punk didn't answer. He didn't get a call back until nearly eleven.

"Hey."

"Hey man I'm so sorry."

"Don't apologize." Sora fell back on his bed with a thud. "I guess they're keeping you pretty busy, huh?"

"It's like all orientation classes all the time. A safety seminar. A fire drill seminar. And, I shit you not, they had a sexual safety seminar."

Sora smirked. "Take notes?"

"I never felt so embarrassed! They were handing out condoms and informative brochures by the door when it was over. It was so uncomfortable."

"Well, don't let it get to you. If anybody gives you shit just knock 'em out like you did with Flynn," Sora said with a chuckled. Demyx hated that fight being brought up. Even though they were a sea apart, Sora could picture the punk's face reddening.

"School's started for you by now, right? Taking anything fun?"

"Just the third-year Latin. All my classes suck. I just wanna take underwater basket weaving in college."

"That's basically all everybody does here, you're correct."

"So when do your classes start?"

"Not until next week. Still need to buy my textbooks."

"Made any friends yet?" Sora asked, picking at some lint between his toes. Talking with Demyx was great, but he really missed him just being there.

"Kinda. I dunno. The way someone explained it to me was a little disheartening. Like, in high school you have the same classmates year-round, but here you only have them for essentially three months. And each class is completely different. It's possible for you to have five classes a semester and each one have entirely different people in it."

"…Ahuh?"

"So like- it just seems sorta futile making friends here, y'know? The island is so small that the only people who stay here after graduation are people gunning for apprenticeships so even if you make a friend it's not like you'll see them after you're done. Everyone just sorta… goes their own separate ways."

Sora smirked again. "Demyx, name me everyone you're on a first-name basis with so far."

"Oh. Um… Well, there's my RA Attina, this cool girl named Terk that lives on my floor, dude named Fred with a Toho obsession that you would not believe - he works at the coffee place across the street. Uh… a guy named Zexion that lives on the harbor, this one girl that-"

"Stop acting so existential, Dem. You'll be fine. Look at it this way, the more friends you make in college, the wider net you'll cast once you all split up. There will be no shortage of couches to surf if you wanna take a road trip somewhere."

Sora could hear his friend smiling through the call. "Ha. You're right. And I mean, you'll be here in a couple years too, so I got that going for me."

Now it was Sora's turn to smile. "You know it."

There came a knock and Sora glanced towards his doorway where his dad stood, looking groggy and pissed. "Sora. Phone."

"Shit. I mean shoot." He turned his focus back to his friend. "Sorry Dem, I need to hang up and get ready for bed."

"No problem brah. I'll try to be less of a shit about calling you."

"Don't worry about it. I'll talk to you later." He ended the call and made a show of putting his phone down on his bedside table. His dad just grunted and returned to his bedroom. Since his dad had to wake up early for work, it usually meant the entire house had to quiet down by a certain hour on weeknights or face his wrath.

Another day at school, another day of stalking Phillip outside of Roxas' choir class. It was difficult tracking the senior down during the day, but at least Sora knew exactly where he could find him after the last bell rang.

All the little kids in the first-year choir class had started filtering out once Sora arrived. He made eye contact and nodded when he saw his brother come out of the classroom.

"You know you don't have to meet me after class every day," Roxas mumbled. He was starting to get the hang of high school and didn't need his brother following him around everywhere.

"It's no trouble at all," Sora assured, although that wasn't what Roxas was hinting at all. Finally Phillip appeared, smiling at Sora as if he expected the brunet to be there. It was difficult not to reciprocate such a dazzling smile. "…Hey."

Phillip got these cute little creases by his eyes when his cheek muscles raised with his grin. "Hi."

Roxas drew Sora's attention away by tugging on the strap on the top of the brunet's backpack. "Anyway, I promised Hayner I'd meet him at his locker now. Do you mind waiting to go home a few minutes?"

"Absolutely." He blinked and glanced back at Roxas. "I mean. No, I don't mind. Go ahead." Get out of here, man. Roxas nodded and started walking towards the stairwell to get to the freshman wing where his friend's locker was located. Finally alone, with the exception of the dozens of students still milling about, Sora asked a very important question. "Where's the nearest bathroom?"

He knew where the nearest bathroom was. Upstairs. Freshman wing. The one nobody ever used. Phillip raised a brow and said just as much. "There's one ups-"

"Great. Thanks. I'll see you soon."

It was sort of a trick question. A stupid one. Sora held his breath and walked swiftly to the stairwell, bounded up to the freshman wing, and found the men's restroom dutifully tucked away out of sight and ignored by piddling amount of students who hadn't already left yet. He took a quick glance around and saw his brother with his back turned, deep in conversation with his little friend about something, probably a videogame, and he was able to make it to the bathroom unnoticed.

He waited by the door. If it worked, it would be great, but if it didn't, he could just walk out quickly and nobody would be any wiser. So he waited, hand anxiously on his cell phone so he could make it light up at the touch of a button and check the time. Three minutes never seemed so long until the door opened and Phillip walked through.

In a second Sora had him pressed against the nearest wall, in plain sight in case someone had to use this restroom, kissing him fiercely. His heart nearly exploded out of his chest when Phillip almost instantly kissed him back, gripping Sora's shoulders tightly and making sure he got in a good round before pulling him away.

Phillip was smirking and tugging Sora towards one of the stalls where they'd have a minuscule amount of privacy rather than none at all. He led him to the last stall in the row, closest to the wall, and took a moment to flip their positions and started attacking Sora's mouth with his tongue. It was sloppy, but it was great.

Although he was grinning like an idiot, he managed to pull himself away for a moment, panting. "Nobody saw you, right? My brother?"

Phillip was preoccupied trying to figure out the best way to remove Sora's shirt with his backpack still on. "No, I'm careful. I made sure." It'd be impossible to get the shirt off completely, so he settled for letting his palms rest of the younger student's hips, thumbs moving in gentle circles as he moved in to kiss again.

It had moved from a frenetic pace to leisurely kisses after a few blissful minutes. Finally, Phillip pulled away with a sigh. "I promised Mrs. White I'd make more copies…" The choir teacher. The one that Phillip had the seventh period TA class with. Reality was slowly crashing around Sora.

"And I told Rox I'd meet him at my car." Sora sighed and rested his forehead against Phillip's broad shoulder. "We get to do this again, right?" he asked, pulling his head back and staring into dark eyes. It was hard to believe Sora had tried to make a pass at him two whole years ago, and it was finally paying off.

"Tomorrow? Same time, same place?"

Sora sealed the deal with a kiss and left quickly, Phillip following a moment later. Hopefully nobody would suspect anything, but by this point the freshman wing was mostly deserted except for teachers, who had their own bathroom probably gilded with gold and diamonds in the teacher's lounge. It was still too early in the year for the after school activities to start, and who on Earth would want to spend anymore time at school?

The time between the instant Sora set foot onto the school parking lot to when he waited anxiously outside the choir room the next day seemed to last eternities but passed in the blink of an eye. He was trying to think of a good excuse to feed his brother about how he'd need some time before they went out to the car, but his brother already had one.

"I need to meet Olette at the library to go over a presentation we have to give tomorrow," he said. "I'll be at least an hour. I can just walk home."

Sora's brow arched slightly as his eyes followed Phillip when he left the room. The senior briefly looked his way, gave him a small smile, then continued down the hall into the wing's teacher's lounge. "Yeah that's cool. I don't mind hanging out."

Roxas gave him a look, then shook his head and turned towards the library. Sora made his move to the freshman bathroom. There was a lone student inside, washing his hands, but he was wrapping up as Sora entered the stall against the farthest wall. Five minutes passed and Sora was just about to give up until he heard the door open. The soft sound of rubber soles padding against the cement floor echoed in the small space until Sora saw two familiar shoes stop in front of his stall. Phillip cleared his throat and knocked twice, softly.

"Took you long enough," Sora sighed, opening the door and pulling the older boy into the cramped room by the collar of his shirt. The junior went straight for the kill and had Phillip pinned to the brick wall, kissing him deeply. It was a dangerous position. Sora wasn't entirely sure how far he was willing to go. That is, he knew exactly how far he was willing to go, but perhaps his needs weren't as dire considering that this was a high school bathroom. It didn't help that the toilets on campus didn't have lids.

Still, Phillip pressed his body into Sora's and they were both smiling like they had caught each other in a precarious situation. Who was going to take advantage first? "You're hard," Sora noted, grinding his thigh between Phillip's legs and watching the older boy squirm.

"Well, yeah," he said, face completely flushed. "S-So are-"

Sora couldn't allow him to talk anymore, going in for another bruising kiss. A few minutes later Phillip was seen leaving the bathroom, walking on air and trying to hide his red face with his hand. Another minute and Sora followed, all confidence, and started towards the parking lot.

oooOOOooo

The next two weeks continued like that. Sometimes Sora would skip catching up with his brother on days he knew he'd be at the library and went straight for the bathroom. Their usual meeting spot was becoming increasingly hit-or-miss. On more than one occasion someone would come in while they were going at it, and both had to try and be as quiet as possible during that game of bathroom-chicken to see who would leave first. Because of this, sometimes their meetups were simple make-out sessions, but Sora found himself needing a lot more than that. Even though they swapped phone numbers near the beginning of this madness, Sora could never really get up the nerve to text him.

"There's gotta be a better way," Sora sighed, after waiting long enough for a kid to use one of the urinals and dash out. It became apparent this was going to be another simple meetup and he adjusted his backpack to get ready to leave.

"Perhaps there's another room we can do this…" Phillip talked about it like it was a business meeting, but for some reason Sora appreciated his pragmatism on the subject.

Sora had been keeping an eye out, too. Mostly for classrooms that weren't used during seventh period, but even then there was no guarantee they'd be truly empty. The locks could only be accessed with a key. Phillip had a key to the choir room, but it was in use with after school activities.

"What if… we tried at your place?" Sora asked. This was a huge leap. So far they had just been trying to get their kicks at school. Trying anything outside would run the risk of completely ruining everything they had.

Sora's fear of everything crumbling around him almost came true when Phillip whipped his head around and gave him a hollow look. "Are you kidding? No." The junior couldn't help but wince. Yep, that's what he deserved for stepping out of line. It was too risky, he thought. But Phillip was full of surprises. "…What about your place?"

Sora blinked and thought about it. He honestly had no idea what Phillip's home life was like… but if he was willing to do this at his house, then… that had to mean that he was willing to take this relationship further, right?! His heart started to skip a beat and he was having a little difficulty keeping the smile off his face.

"I wish. I have to give my brother rides home, and my dad is usually home before five." It wasn't so much about keeping their relationship a secret from his family, but them being around would be disastrous for privacy. Not that handjobs in a public toilet stall were a much better alternative.

Sora stepped out of the stall so he could wash his hands. Phillip checked his reflection in the mirror and made sure he was okay to leave. "Same time tomorrow?" he asked with a sigh. He usually asked before he left, just in case there were plans. With Sora's lack of extracurriculars, the junior almost always said said yes, but this time…

"I can't," Sora whined slightly. "I've got plans after school with my family."

It sucked, since it was a Friday and it meant they wouldn't get to have any fun until next Monday. "Okay, then," Phillip said, disappointment heavy in his voice. This happened every once in awhile. They would stand in the bathroom, right before he left, staring awkwardly at each other. Sora wished he could just kiss him, but he felt like it would be too weird. Like a kiss for the sake of kissing and not getting off would be taboo. "I'll… see you next week?"

"Yeah." Sora did his best to give Phillip a smile before the senior nodded and left the bathroom. The younger boy dejectedly dried his hands and threw the paper towel away in a huff.

Friday morning he woke up to the smell of lemon pancakes, his absolute favorite. His dad was supposed to have left for work by now, but he stayed since it was a special occasion. Sora couldn't remember the last time his whole family ate breakfast together. It was oddly pleasant. His mom placed a stack of pancakes in front of him, with a lit candle sticking out of it and served on the special ceramic plate with a birthday cake painted on it that was only used for birthdays.

His family sang the birthday song, even Roxas, showing off his pipes from all the choir practice. Sora grinned and blew out the candle. "You're still up for seeing a movie after school?" his mom asked. "You don't want to ask any of your friends?"

"Nah, Wakka and Tidus are busy with blitz stuff. I think they have a game tonight?"

"What about Phillip?" Roxas asked, and Sora almost cut through the ceramic birthday plate while carving into his pancakes. His eyes went wide as he glanced to his brother, but the blond didn't seem like he was making anything more than a simple suggestion.

"I-I don't- We're not… exactly friends," Sora said, and god his face was burning he could tell.

"Who's Phillip?" his mom asked.

Sora answered "Nobody," but Roxas started talking at the same time. "He's the senior TA in my choir class. Him and Sora chat sometimes when he stops by to pick me up."

His mom cooed a "That's nice" before sitting down to eat and passing the butter around the table. Although he was really quiet about it, his dad finished his pancakes in record time. "I need to head out," he said in his usual soft voice, placing a hand on his oldest son's shoulder. "Happy Birthday. I'll see you after school."

"Thanks Dad," Sora beamed from his spot at the counter. He loved getting attention from his dad. Seeing him in the mornings were so rare that it made it extra-special. Not long after his dad left, the rest of them finished their breakfast and his mom cleaned the dishes while Sora and Roxas got ready for school.

Sora never really made a habit of throwing parties in his honor, so of course it went hand-in-hand with never really telling anybody about this birthday to begin with. Of course, he wasn't disappointed when his cell phone rang when he was back in his bedroom and Demyx's name flashed across the front of his phone.

"Heeeey birthday boy!" Demyx said happily. "Is now a good time? Are you leaving for school?"

Sora smiled. "I've got about fifteen minutes before I need to be out the door."

"Awesome. Any fun plans for the day?"

"Nah. My parents are taking me out for a movie. Rox is gonna be there too."

"Man seventeenth birthdays are the worst. Too young for porn. Too young to drink. The novelty of driving wearing thin. Sorry brah. Wish I could be there to help." He put his phone on speaker so he could start changing clothes and listen to his friend talk.

"I'm sure I'll survive another year. So what about you? How's college treating you?"

Demyx spent the rest of their time complaining about his classes, about his professors, about how the coffee in the cart outside the library is better than the coffee at the cafe near his apartment, so if he wanted decent coffee it meant he had to get dressed and walk to campus. The more he talked the more Sora wished Demyx could've just gone to the university in Bastion like everybody else. At least then they could probably still hang out on weekends.

Before Sora knew it there was a knock at his door and his brother poked his head in. "Hey. It's time to go." Sora nodded and Roxas left. He took his phone off of speaker and pulled it towards his ear.

"Hey, I gotta get out."

"What? Already? But all I did was talk! Lightning round: real quick, how's it going with you?"

"Real quick?" Sora laughed hesitantly, grabbing his bag by his door. He didn't think it was possible. Demyx deserved to know, though. Sora pulled his phone away and heard Roxas and his mom talking in the kitchen, but he lowered his voice just to be safe. "I've… got a new guy…"

It seemed to take a moment for what Sora said to strike Demyx. When it hit, the older boy shouted so loud that Sora almost dropped his phone. "NO SHIT! DUDE. Who?! Do I know him?"

"Ahaha… Uh, remember Phillip Thompson? Choir's golden boy?" Demyx gasped audibly.

"I knew it." Sora chuckled a little bit more. "Wait, but what about- I thought he was seeing golden girl. What's her— Aurora! What about her?"

Now that Sora thought about it, he had always assumed they were dating too. Although, nobody had ever confirmed it. Regardless, he could say with certainty they weren't dating now. "I dunno, but- yeah, he's gay."

"Way to go, man! Get it!"

"Sora! Get off the phone and go to school!" his mom shouted from somewhere in the house.

Sora winced and cupped his hand around his phone. "Okay I really gotta bolt now. I'll tell you about it later!"

"Spare me the details, I'll just take your word for it. Have a good birthday dude!"

School was uneventful. In the classes he shared with Tidus and Wakka, they didn't mention anything about his birthday. Sora knew he didn't have a right to be upset that they forgot, because it wasn't like he was shouting on rooftops about it the way Wakka would or throwing a party like Tidus, but he was still a little let down that it was just another day.

Since Roxas knew about their after-school plans, they decided to meet up at Sora's locker since it was closest to the exit. Sora had gone the whole day without seeing Phillip, and it sucked. He still put on a happy face when they met up with their parents and drove together to the theatre.

"Make sure your phones are off," the mom warned her sons. In brotherly unison, the boys rolled their eyes and dug their phones from their back pockets and turned them off. The movie was mindless fun. It probably would've been better if it were just him and Phillip, possibly necking in the back row.

Afterwards they ate dinner together, and someone, Sora was suspecting Roxas, told a member of the waitstaff that it was his birthday so the brunet was properly humiliated in front of the entire restaurant as members of the waitstaff marched out and sang some corporate non-copyrighted version of the birthday song. At least that meant free cake. Sora ate while glaring daggers at his smirking younger brother.

On the drive home Sora recalled that he never turned his phone back on after sitting in the theatre. He would receive the odd text from time to time, but his phone never exactly blew up the way it did when he turned it on.

Seven missed texts from Phillip, and one missed call (no voicemail).

[ITS UR BDAY. U DIDNT TELL ME]

[phone abt 2 die]

[(k on chrgr) U SUK]

[IM LIKE THE SHITTEST BF EVR]

[WHERE R U?]

[TURN UR PHONE ON]

[CALL ME. UGH.]

Sora was smiling crookedly and suddenly they couldn't get home fast enough. As soon as the back door to the house was unlocked, Sora was rushing through to his bedroom. Once he was sure his family wouldn't be bothering him the rest of the night, he texted Phillip back.

[Who told u?]

He hit send and waited a few agonizing minutes. When his phone buzzed announcing a new message Sora squawked and almost dropped it on the floor.

[Ur bro]

[fml he could pbly tell bc i looked so upset]

Sora grinned and laid back on his bed.

[Sry. i make it a habit not 2 celebrate…]

There was a short pause before his phone buzzed again.

[where r u?]

He paused when he heard his parents walk down the hall past his bedroom door to their room.

[ home]

[can u sneak away?]

Sora's eyes nearly bugged out of their sockets. His mind started reeling with excuses to get him out of the house. Tidus and Wakka had a game tonight, but it was long over by this point. He could think of too many ways this could backfire. Even though it was a Friday, his parents had a strict curfew since school was in session and would probably never let him leave. Or worse, if they did they would ask too many questions.

He sighed in defeat and replied.

[cant. wats up?"

[can ur cell get pix?]

What followed were a series of pictures that made Sora wish he could leave his house because viewing them under the same roof as his parents and kid brother was a travesty. Sora was good at keeping quiet, when it was necessary at least. It was only five pictures, before Phillip said he had to stop because if his parents caught on to what he was doing he'd be dead, but Sora was still giddy. He was never deleting these pictures ever.

[so do i get any pix ;)]

Sora blushed and buried his face into his pillow. The thought of sending Phillip a picture of his junk was tempting but his phone didn't have a camera on it. He was probably due for an upgrade, and maybe he could beg his parents for a new one for Christmas.

[nah, but u get me ;) u free tmw nite?]

There was nothing he needed more right that second than Phillip pinned to a wall, a mattress,

anything. He waited with baited breath for a response.

[dammit i cant. grams visiting all wkend & cant get away.]

Sora smothered himself with his pillow and let out a long, muffled shout. Life wasn't, and never would be, fair. Then, out of the blue, Sora had an idea. An awful idea. Sora had a wonderful, awful idea.

The following Monday, the oldest Strife brother was sure to catch his mom before they rushed off the door to school. "Also, FYI, I'm gonna study at the library after school so I'll be late."

"That's fine," she said, turning to Roxas. "Does that work for you?"

He nodded. "Yeah, I can study there, too."

Shit. "I mean. We're gonna go to the public library."

"It doesn't matter," Roxas shrugged. "I just need a quiet place to study, I've got a test this Thursday."

Shit shit shit. "Wouldn't it be easier to study with your friends? At the school library?"

Now Roxas was glaring at him. "It doesn't matter." They had been stalling at the door during the awkward exchange and Roxas just wanted to get to school.

Sora held his tongue on the topic for the entirety of the ride to campus, but he kept nervously grasping for the right thing to say to make Roxas ditch the library and hang out with his friends. His idea wouldn't work if his little brother tagged along.

Luckily, Sora received a text after the second lunch hour from Roxas, explaining that his teacher was hosting a study group after classes were over and he was going to that instead of the library.

As soon as the bell rang, without even bothering to stop by his locker, Sora bolted out of the building and to his car, safely getting out of the parking lot before traffic got intense. In Bastion, if you traveled at least fifteen minutes in any direction on any of the city's major highways, you were bound to run into the same thing. Nothing. Vast expanses of nothing and sometimes trees. To the east of downtown was a particularly hilly patch of nothingness, an undeveloped area with simple dirt roads and rusted street signs. It was there, on top of a hill, where Sora parked.

The view would have been astounding had he not been so nervous. He paced back and forth, carving a wedge in the tall grass, until he heard the sound of another car's engine. Phillip's familiar maroon jeep, caked in dirt, rolled around the bend and Sora's heart stopped. There was nobody around except for the birds and the bugs in the late September sky.

"Sorry it took a while… I've never been out here before." Phillip got out of his car and paced slowly towards Sora.

"That's cool. Me neither." He held out his hands and Phillip took them with a smile. Sora guided him to turn with his back towards his car and softly pushed the senior boy so that he was sitting on the hood. From between his knees, Sora leaned in and gave Phillip a slow, lingering kiss. Much slower than anything they had time for in the bathroom stall at school. When Sora pulled back, he opened his eyes to look at Phillip and found the boy with his eyes still closed, smiling pleasantly. He cracked his eyes open and gave Sora a devilish grin.

"Happy birthday, Mister Strife."

Sora leaned in for another kiss, this one a touch more urgent with a lot more tongue. "D'ya get me anything?" he asked closely during the time they broke apart to breathe.

"Yeah. It's in my car." This time, Phillip took Sora by the hand and guided the excited brunet to the back of his jeep. He opened up the rear door and revealed that the back seats had been pulled out and a blanket laid out to make a makeshift bed. Very quaint, but what stood out most to Sora was the paper bag from the pharmacy near campus tossed behind the driver's seat. It had spilled over and that was definitely a box of Trojans sticking out.

"Oh, wow. That's quite the gift," Sora said, turning to Phillip and smirking. The older boy's face couldn't have gotten more red.

"Just- making sure I've got all my bases covered," he replied, nearly stuttering. Phillip crawled quickly into the back and snatched the bag up. "You know… I like, read stuff online and-"

Sora held up his hand. "Wait, wait. You haven't done this before?"

No matter what color Phillip's face turned, the boy would still talk with his head held high, like he had nothing to hide. "With a boy, no."

Sora was beginning to connect the dots. "But with a- …Aurora?" He took Phillip's tightened lips and sudden inability to make eye-contact as a yes. "Yeah, so… I was curious about what happened to you guys."

Phillip crawled to the edge of the back seat, moving so his legs dangled off the end. Sora took a seat next to him. "She called it off during the summer. Said she wanted to focus more on college stuff and… we're both planning on going to different schools. She's got her heart set on the west coast and all my dream schools are on the east. So in the end, she decided to just end it. Somehow she reasoned it was supposed to make it hurt less."

"Jesus. You guys still go to the same school. She could've had another year with you. What the hell was she thinking?"

It was something to think about, at least. Phillip would presumably be leaving for the east coast by next summer. With Sora's dream school being Destiny U, that meant they only had a year.

"Yeah it sucks," Phillip sighed heavily. He leaned back and rested one of his hands on top of Sora's. "But I like to think things worked out that way for a reason."

As embarrassing as this was to admit, this was probably the most they'd ever talked before and the milestone wasn't lost on Sora. Perhaps Phillip was more than a bathroom buddy after all. Sora just grinned widely and squeezed Phillip's hand in return, kicking off his shoes so he could scoot farther back into the jeep.

"Now, about that present…"

Phillip chuckled and kicked off his boots. "And you're okay with me? I mean, you're gonna talk me through this, right?"

"Yeah, yeah, sure. No problem. Shirt off, please."

Their short trysts in the bathroom didn't leave much time or room for abandoning clothing. Sora was so happy to finally get a good look at those pecs and abs he kept palming through shirts as Phillip peeled his off. The older teen awkwardly moseyed over to Sora and situated himself with knees on either side of Sora's hips.

"I got a little nervous. I mean. After hearing you went all the way with Rider."

A small pang hit Sora's heart as he glanced up at the older boy. "Really. And who told you that?"

"Word gets around. Rumors. I mean, I was at that party and it was obvious what you guys were doing." Phillip paused for a moment and laughed. "I mean, why do you think we're being so careful? If word got out like that, it'd be over." It was true. Lying to his brother, using an abandoned bathroom, and having to drive to the middle of nowhere to get his rocks off wasn't something Sora had thought he'd always have to do just to keep a relationship going.

He sorta figured… one day he'd come home with a boy. With Phillip, maybe. Introduce him to his folks. Deal with Roxas' inevitable freakout that he was dating his upperclassman advisor. There would be the awkward meeting with Phillips parents, he wondered if they would disapprove or accept him like a second son. All this would lead up to them coming out at school. They wouldn't be the only gay kids on campus, not even the only gay couple, but it would be nice, Sora thought. It would be so nice not to have to hide in the bathroom anymore.

But Phillip made it obvious that this was as public as he was willing to go. Just the two of them. He did a great job of making Sora feel wanted, even if that desire could never be expressed openly. For the time being, with Phillip leaning down the kiss him in the private openness of the backseat of his jeep, Sora thought this would be good enough.

oooOOOooo

That was the only way Sora could get Phillip to have sex. A couple times a week he managed to find time when they both weren't busy to drive out to that hill and they would either do it in the backseat of Sora's el camino or Phillip's jeep. It was hardly ideal, and honestly Sora kept waiting for the moment when it became old, but seeing Phillip's knowing smiles in the halls at school, secret winks when no one was watching, and just like that he found dozens more reasons to stay.

Keeping a secret like this was… surprisingly easy. There were so many movies and after-school special television shows about the importance of telling the truth, featuring the hero floundering under the mountain of lies on their back. But for Sora, nobody ever questioned his simple "going to the library" excuses.

However, and something Sora didn't think about when he first conceived his wonderful, awful idea, was that seasons have a nasty habit of changing every few months. Nearing the end of November and their fall semester, the mutual warmth in the back of a car could only garner so much comfort.

"This is s-stupid," Sora shivered, letting Phillip attempt to warm him up with a hug in the back seat of the camino. "God, at the very least, can we just rent a junkie motel room outside of town?"

This wasn't the first time they'd had this talk in the past few months. Phillip sighed loudly and reached for the paper towels Sora kept behind the passenger seat. "That's not a permanent solution." A standard motel on the outskirts of Bastion averaged sixty dollars, last Sora checked. If they did a fifty-fifty split every visit, it would cost them at least thirty dollars each every time they wanted to be together. Not including the cost of condoms and gas, on top of lying to parents to get out of the house long enough to get anything done.

"But at least it would be better than this. You have fun with me, right?" Sora leaned up and rested his arms across Phillip's shoulders so he could look him in the eyes.

"Of course."

"So… imagine how much more fun we would have in, like, a bed."

At least with Flynn Rider they did it in a bed. Sora had never even been to Phillip's house. He didn't even know where he lived. "Look, remember why we do this. It's not like our parents would go any easier on us if they knew." Phillip knew Sora's family didn't know anything about his sexuality, and his family was the same. Everybody hopes their family would be opening and accepting to their coming out, but getting the guts to actually come out is an entirely different problem. And what if both their families were okay with it? Great! Now they wouldn't have any privacy and if either were left alone in a room with a bed the door would have to be kept open at all times.

Phillip sighed deeply. "Look, I know how you feel about this, but… I think this suits us best, you know? Just the two of us. I like that nobody knows about us."

Sora slowly nodded his head. Just the two of them, he thought. Then he suddenly remembered. "Actually. Um. There is someone else."

Watching the color drain from Phillip's face was almost comical. Sora was having difficulties holding back the smirk. "Who?"

The junior snickered and buried his face in Phillip's chest. "Jesus, it's only Demyx. He's coming home for winter break and wants to hang out." Sora considered that intimate times were over and started to sit up. Phillip scooted out from under him and started using the paper towels to clean up.

"How long has he known?" he asked, now starting to search for his shirt and underwear.

"I dunno, since like the beginning?"

"And do you always tell him everything?"

The jealousy in Phillip's tone was almost palpable, but it wasn't usually in Sora's nature to fight aggro with aggro. "Chyeah, he's kind of my best friend. That's what you do. Tell them about all your epic lays." He leaned over and gave Phillip nice, power-hungry kiss before leaning back and zipping up his jeans. "Anyway, like I said, he's going to be in town for like a month and we're gonna hang out a lot. You wanna chill with us?"

There was a short pause when Phillip found his pants and tried to suss out the front from the back. "…I dunno. What do you guys usually do?"

oooOOOooo

Apparently Phillip didn't play video games.

It never really occurred to Sora to ask. The only person he really bothered to chat about gaming with since Demyx moved away was his brother. He preferred Phillip for other activities, obviously. But it was hilarious that the golden boy had never touched an XBox controller before in his life.

They were in the rec room at Demyx's house, a room Sora had rarely seen but since Dem took his television to Destiny Islands they had to hook up his console to the one in there instead. He was worried how his best friend would react to being around Phillip, but Demyx didn't seem to mind at all.

After a few good, solid hours of slaying zombies, Demyx paused the game so he could stand up and stretch. "I'm gonna go downstairs and get a drink, do you want anything?" Demyx asked.

Without missing a beat Sora stood and followed him to the door. "I'll come with. Phillip?"

From his spot on the couch Phillip just stared back and helplessly shrugged his shoulders. "No, I'm fine."

What Sora had told Phillip earlier, in the backseat of his camino, was the god-honest truth. Demyx was in town, and they were going to hang out a lot. It was amazing how much better it felt to talk to him in person rather than through a tinny cell phone connection.

The conversation down to the kitchen was filled with Sora drilling him with more questions about school, particularly how college finals differed from high school finals. If he met any more cool people. If he had done anything fun.

"Actually, yeah. The harbor's really fun. There's actually a pretty cool little music scene there. There's this flower shop that my friend Zexion works at - Oh! Remember that dude I told you Larx was hooking up with? He works there too! Small world, right? - Anyway, there's this girl who works down the street at this pizzeria named Yuffie who's the drummer in this riot grrrl revival outfit and she's like only sixteen and is so hardcore I think you'd really like her."

Oddly enough, with all the mixes and general music appreciation that Demyx had gifted him with the past few years, Sora had never managed to make it to a live show. He only ever got as far as looking in the entertainment section of the newspaper whenever he found a copy lying around the living room for upcoming dates, but it was usually a bit too folksy and eclectic for his tastes.

"So, anything cool happen since I've been away?" It wasn't like Demyx didn't ask this question every time they spoke on the phone, but for some reason it meant more now that they were finally face-to-face. "Been to any cool parties lately?"

"Man, it's like the party scene fucking died with the senior class last year. Nobody's really stepped up to the plate since you left." As terrified as Demyx was with hosting parties, in the end the host didn't really matter as much as a kick-ass party house, which Demyx had in abundance. Sora felt like he was too young to be feeling nostalgic for the good old days when he could get trashed in his best friend's mansion.

"I find that hard to believe," Demyx sighed, taking a can of Pepsi from the fridge and tossing it at Sora. But it was true, Demyx didn't know most of the kids in their neighborhood because they were home schooled, or went to a private school with a campus conveniently nearby. Demyx's parents were an odd mix of new and old money, and had decided to forgo the usual child-raising traditions of their neighborhood and sent their kids out for public schooling. Something that worked well for Demyx, maybe not so much for Larxene. At least she finally got her own apartment and wasn't leeching off her parent's pool house anymore.

"It's true, though. Honestly if it weren't for Phillip it would be so boring. I don't know what I'd be doing…"

"Studying?" Demyx asked, chuckling at Sora's deadpan glare in response. "I'm serious, dude. Space is limited at schools like Destiny. You gotta fight your way in. Having a 4.0 doesn't hurt."

Sora gulped. His GPA wasn't sterling but it wasn't awful either. He wasn't in the valedictorian position, but neither was Demyx and he still got in. As long as he stayed in the top three percentile, he'd be fine.

"But who cares about school now that winter break has started, right?" Demyx walked up and playful ruffled the brunet's spikes. Sora shoved him away with a laugh.

"For you, maybe. We still have finals in a week."

Demyx nodded. "That's right. Man, I don't miss being forced to stay in classes at all. And winter breaks are so much shorter in high school. You said your break starts at the end of next week?" Sora nodded. "Great! That gives me some time to hunt down the perfect Christmas gift."

Sora hiccuped into his can of soda. "What? You don't have to…" He honestly wasn't planning on getting gifts for anybody outside of his family.

"Don't worry about it, dude. Trust me, what I have in mind is long overdue. You'll love it." Demyx tried to hold back a smile, but it still crept across his face anyway. He couldn't hold it back. The fact that he was so excited about it was getting Sora excited, but he tried to shake it off. It was a long time before Christmas and he still had exams to worry about. "Speaking of, by the way," the punk started, as if he could read Sora's mind, "about this time last year we had quarantined ourselves in the library. What's up? Junior year just ridiculously easy for you or are you slipping?"

Demyx had every reason to be concerned. He knew how Sora got around boys and the distractions they caused, but it was about more than that. There was an unspoken vow of getting into Destiny U, and if Sora didn't focus, it wouldn't be the same without him.

"I'm telling you, I'm fine. There's absolutely nothing to worry about."

Although over the next few days it slowly dawned on Sora that it was terrifyingly not the case. He got his math homework back and got a 78. Not terrible, practically a B, and wouldn't bring down his average too much, but… he thought he had it. He didn't realize how much it bothered him until Phillip pulled away from him in the backseat of Sora's car.

"What's up? You're distracted."

It suddenly occurred to the brunet that the older boy was no longer kissing his neck and it was starting to get cold. "No I'm not."

Phillip sighed heavily and sat up straight. "Sora."

"It's nothing, just… mid-terms are coming up and I haven't been paying attention like I should."

The boy above him nodded. "Which subject?"

"Math."

He winced and shook his head. "Can't help you there. Aurora might, she's smarter than I am at everything, especially that kind of stuff. She's in AP Physics." Somewhere in the mess of denim on the floor of the backseat was his jeans with his cell phone in the back pocket. While leaning against Sora's chest he flipped it open and started pressing some buttons.

"…You still keep up with Aurora?" he asked, intending it to sound nonchalant but Phillip could see through that in a heartbeat. He looked into Sora's eyes and snapped his phone shut.

"I just texted you her number," he said. "I recommend texting her and asking for help. She knows who you are."

"Wait- she knows about me?"

Phillip sat back up, deciding that their fun was over and it was time to get dressed. He had to study for midterms later, just like Sora. He found his sweater and pulled it on over his head. "She knows who you are, yes," he repeated.

"But how? I've never even talked to her. I don't think we've even looked at each other." Sora watched Phillip struggle to get his jeans back on, disappointed that there apparently wasn't going to be a round two but smart enough not to say anything about it.

"Her family is good friends with my family. We have a monthly pre-arranged dinner. We're in the same grade and in the same classes. It's not crazy that we still talk, even if we've broken up."

Sora frowned. "That's kinda cruel for your folks to make you guys eat dinner together like that."

Phillip sighed and glanced down at Sora, still laying naked in the backseat of the camino. "Just taking one for the team. Our families were good friends before we got together. It was a mutual decision that if our relationship didn't work out that we wouldn't let it ruin what our parents had."

"Doesn't make it any less shitty," Sora grumbled, reaching for his jeans and tried to get them on without kicking Phillip in the face. "Still saying this would be easier in a room."

"Still saying don't hold your breath." He leaned over to give Sora a quick kiss before opening the car door. The cold rush of wind from outside made the sweat on Sora chill and he shivered until he found his hoodie. "I need to get home and study."

Sora bit the inside of his cheek and decided to be brave and just ask. "Can I come with?" He rolled his eyes when Phillip gave him an odd look from outside. Sora shifted down the seats and got out as well. "C'mon, it's just studying at your parent's place. It's no big deal."

"I've never brought anyone home to study before. It'd be weird. You're not even in my grade."

"So what? They've got every student memorized? It doesn't even have to be at your place. We can totally study at my home! My parents are cool!" The pitch in his voice was rising with each statement the more he tried to convince Phillip this was a good idea. He basically just ask the guy to meet his parents. He hoped the senior understood what this meant.

But much to Sora's disappointment, Phillip still declined. "The stuff I'm studying isn't anything like what you're studying though. It'd be a waste of time, and I really need to focus."

Sora could feel himself puffing up. Fine. Okay. Whatever.

Phillip seemed to understand that Sora was upset, at the very least. He kissed him on the corner of the mouth and started back towards his jeep. "Same time tomorrow?" he asked, all smiles.

Sora nodded his head. "Yeah. See you then." He tried to act a little happy. He was a high schooler getting regular sex with a hot guy who, from what Sora could surmise, tolerated him! It was practically the teenage dream!

Now all he had to do was go home, study, and pass on his finals.

oooOOOooo

Sora could feel the color drain from his cheeks. This had to be a mistake. No way was that correct. The teacher's finger must have slipped when typing in his grade. Maybe there was a spec of dust in the paper grain, or…

No matter how Sora looked at it, that was definitely an 79 on his report card for his math class. That was definitely a C, practically failing. A vile letter in a sea of As.

"I don't understand what happened, Sora," his mother sighed, her hand on her cheek in dismay. At least it wasn't out of disappointment, because Sora knew from her telling stories that her grades in high school were never that great, but she knew what his grades meant to him. She knew his goal of getting into Destiny U, and making Cs in math was not going to get him there. "You studied, right?"

"Every night," he explained. He even did a little bit of extra credit, and there was a terrifying thought. If he hadn't, what would his final grade have been then? She passed the report card off to his father, who had a similar disconcerted expression. It was still a better report card that anything he had to show for from high school, but he was sort of at a loss. When he came home with bad grades he got punished with chores or no television. You can't punish someone for coming home with six As and a C+.

"Study harder next time. Need tutoring?" he asked. He handed the report card back to Sora. The teen didn't know what to do with it. Perhaps it was to serve as a reminder, an albatross around his neck.

"If it gets like this next semester you guys will be the first to know." With that promise on his mind, he went into his bedroom and tossed the report card on his desk before collapsing on his bed. He crossed his arm over his eyes and tried to convince himself that his entire academic career wasn't collapsing around him. Then his cell phone rang.

"What," he sighed, not even bothering to check the screen to see who it was, but it could really only be one of four people.

"Hey dude! I need you to do me a favor."

"Dem, I'm not in the mood right now."

"Well then put on your prettiest black shirt with the snarkiest text on it and get in the mood because I'm coming by to pick you up in fifteen minutes for a sleepover."

Sora raised his arm slightly and looked at the ceiling. "A sleepover. Aren't you like eighteen?"

Demyx let out a fake, mocking laugh. "Haha, buttmunch. Tell your parents you're staying over at my place tonight."

He thought about his report card on his desk. No way in hell he could tell Demyx about that. "I dunno, my parents are kinda pissed at me. I don't think I can weasel out of this one."

"The clock's ticking, dude. No excuses. I'll be there in thirteen minutes!" He hung up before Sora could say anything else. The brunet sighed loudly and dropped his cell on the bed next to him. Demyx couldn't be serious, could he? Just calling out of the blue like that and expecting Sora to jump into his car, no repercussions…

The minutes ticked by before Sora picked up his cell again and lit up the face to check the time. Demyx could theoretically be here any second. That didn't leave Sora with much time. He shuffled into his closet and found his black hoodie on the floor. It didn't smell horrible so he pulled it over his head and changed out of his lazy day pajama bottoms into his dark wash jeans.

When he approached his parents they seemed to notice the wardrobe change. "Going somewhere?" his mom asked in that not-over-my-dead-body tone.

"Um… Demyx called - he's back in down - and wanted to know if I wanted to stay the night. Play video games and stuff. I told him that all depends on you guys…" He left the statement open-ended but the sentiment was there. It wasn't like he had school to worry about until next semester. There was nothing keeping him chained to his house except a looming sense of guilt.

His parents appeared to be on the same page when they glanced at each other and shrugged their shoulders. "It's fine with us. Be home before dinner tomorrow."

Sora honestly wasn't expecting it to be that easy. He decided to not tempt fate by asking really? and nodded his head. "Yeah? Cool, thanks! I'll have my cell on me if you need me." Right on cue, a series of short bursts of car horn sounded off from outside.

His mom just nodded before turning her attention back to the television. "Be safe," she said, and Sora wondered if she knew what he and Demyx usually got up to on their trips out.

When he got outside, there was a black Mercedes waiting out front. Sora almost barked out laughter as he gave an appreciative nod, talking slowly around the car and looking at it top to bottom. Demyx had the driver's side window rolled down and Sora leaned down into it, resting his elbows on the sill.

"Nice ride, Mister Skönstedt," Sora said with a shiteating grin.

Demyx smiled and swept non-existent dust of the steering wheel. "You like it? It's on loan from my dad so don't scratch it." The punk flashed the brights on the headlights. "I wasn't kidding earlier. We're on a tight schedule so let's go."

Sora walked around front and hopped into the passenger seat. "So what's going on? I thought this was a humble sleepover." It was a stick shift, which apparently Demyx knew how to operate, and after slamming it out of neutral they shredded down the street fast enough to make Sora hold onto the door handle, just in case.

He shrugged. "Yeah, well you know how it is. Only losers sleep at slumber parties, and we-" he held up two concert tickets that pulled down from the sun blind, "-are not losers."

A huge smile spread across Sora's lips. Shamefully admitted, it was his first real smile in a long time. "What the hell, man? What's this?" When he took the tickets out of Demyx's hand and read what they were for, the smile was replaced with a look of shock. "No."

"Maybe."

"Dem, no! What the fuck, dude?"

In his hands were Blink-182 tickets. Pretty much a mainstay on most of the early mixes Demyx made him before he eventually gave up and just burned their entire discography on the stack of CD-Rs Sora gave him. "Jesus how much did these cost?" Never mind. The prices were printed in the margin. "Demyx!"

"C'mon dude, don't make this weird. Consider it a… belated birthday, early Christmas gift. And it's not like I didn't want to check it out either."

The time for doors was eight, and it was just a few minutes after as they pulled into the parking garage next to the huge stadium amphitheatre near downtown. Sora was a little shocked when he pulled into a reserved parking spot on the ground floor. When he questioned Demyx about it the punk just shrugged. "My mom always gets season passes to the NCAA blitzball games to treat her clients."

"You have season blitzball tickets and you never invited me?" Sora nearly cried. Knowing Demyx, his family would probably have box seats and an open buffet.

They got out of the mercedes and followed the steady stream of people to the huge stadium nearby. "Whatever. I like you but not enough to slog through four solid hours of sports." That was probably his and Sora's true difference because Sora would want nothing more than four solid hours of watching fit dudes swim in a pool.

Sora had never been to a concert before. The ecstatic buzz turned into a dull roar once they passed through ticket check. There was a huge stage set up so far in the distance that had the roadies rushing back and forth getting things set for the opening act looking like ants. Sora was taken aback by the sheer amount of people already crowded around the stage.

"How are we going to get close?" Sora asked. Demyx was already a few steps ahead and turned back to him with a smile.

"Follow me and don't get lost."

The closest they ever got to the stage was about six people deep. By the time they were pressed in like sardines the stadium lights dimmed and everyone around them started screaming. It was just the opening band, a group Sora possibly heard on one of Demyx's mixes but made a decision to try and buy their CD at a merch booth later.

Everything was so loud and chaotic that it was absolutely disorienting. The two boys got separated multiple times, having to reach out and grasp into each other's arms and shirts to keep from getting pulled into tides of opposite mosh pits. Between sets they laugh at how ridiculous the crowd was and how exhilarating it felt. Sora looked up at the night sky, stars eclipsed by the bright lights of the stadium. And to think he'd probably be home in bed right now.

oooOOOooo

"Holy shit I can't!"

Demyx just walked proudly by Sora as he gushed, a sweaty scarlet tinge to his cheeks as he used the tour shirt he bought as a towel around his neck.

"I literally can't!"

"Have fun?"

"Why haven't I been to one sooner?" Sora cried, partially blaming Demyx for not dragging him to a show before tonight. The punk just shrugged.

"I dunno. Other than stuff my parents dragged me to as a kid I didn't really start going to shows until I was sixteen. It was more difficult finding good all-ages stuff back then."

Sora rolled his eyes. "Oh, has the scene really changed that much in two years?"

"You'd be surprised, dude. Speaking of…" He rummaged through one of the pockets on his cargo pants. Sora laughed at him about it earlier, but eventually the show got so rowdy that he had to have Demyx hold onto his wallet and phone in one of his many pouches. Demyx pulled out his cell and opened the calendar. "…What're your plans for tomorrow?"

"What's tomorrow?"

"Another show," Demyx said, smiling. "Last minute, and I'm inviting you so I'll pay. Much smaller. Local punk. It's good for you."

An excited grin spread across Sora's face as they entered the parking garage. "Yeah! I mean, lemme check with my parents first, but hell yeah!"

"Cool. And ask Phillip, maybe he'll wanna come this time."

In the post-concert ecstasy Sora had almost forgotten about his boyfriend. "Oh. Wait- what? 'This time?'"

Demyx looked down at him. "Yeah? He didn't say anything? I wanted to surprise you with the tickets, so while you guys were visiting I asked him if he wanted to go while you were in the bathroom. He said he didn't like crowds, but I think tomorrow's show will be a little less crowded."

"Oh… I had no idea…"

"Well I need to thank him because I wanted to keep it a surprise. I guess the dude's good at keeping secrets."

Sora pulled out his cell phone. It was close to midnight, but Phillip was probably still awake. He shot him a quick text before pocketing his cell again. "So which was your favorite song?" Sora asked, wanting to steer the conversation back to the amazing show they just witnessed.

"Man I'll always be a sucker for Rock Show, it's so damn catchy."

"I liked Don't Leave Me!"

Demyx grinned and ruffled brunet spikes. "Of course you did."

His phone buzzed again, quicker than Sora was anticipating, and he reached into his back pocket again to flip his phone open and glance at the screen.

"What'd he say?" Demyx asked.

Sora slowed his pace to a crawl and Demyx had to pull on his shirt sleeve to move him out of the way of a passing car. "It says… he wants to talk?"

Demyx made a face. "Well that's not ominous at all. Why?"

"I don't– wait a second, let me see."

Thankfully they didn't have to walk much further to get to Demyx's car. It was quieter there with less of an echo. He had just enough bars in his reception to make an outgoing call. Demyx sat in the driver's seat, not turning the car on so Sora could talk in silence. It didn't even occur to either of them that maybe he should've waited outside.

"I didn't mean like right now," Phillip said as soon as he picked up the phone.

"Well I didn't want to ignore your text for the rest of the night. The show just let out, it was amazing! I wish you would've come. I had no idea Dem invited you!"

"You know that kind of music isn't really for me," he sighed heavily, making the speaker blow out for a moment. "So you had a good time?"

It seemed like it was just small talk. Maybe Phillip just wanted to chat. Since winter break started they didn't get to see each other every day in school, and after the first overnight frost it was getting to be way too cold to do their usual routine in their cars up on the hill. Sora motioned that it was okay for Demyx to start the car and leave. "Yeah, there was this cool band that opened for them. I got their CD if you wanna– oh, but you don't like that kind of music."

Demyx started the car, the engine barely making a sound, and he turned off the stereo before it had a chance to blast.

"Yeah, I guess I'll pass," he replied with a short laugh. "I was thinking maybe we could do something tomorrow night."

"Really? Like what?"

"You. Me. Room twenty-three at the Daisy's Motel thirty miles off the interstate."

Sora's eyebrows raised past his bangs. "Seriously?"

"Yeah. I miss you."

"That's–"

Sora froze. Demyx. Punk music. He glanced to his side where Demyx was looking out the window and his mirrors to make sure he wasn't hitting anyone backing out of his spot, oblivious to the conversation on the other end of the phoneline.

"–Dammit, I just remembered I have something going on tomorrow. What about the day after?"

He heard Phillip curse softly under his breath. "I can only do it tomorrow. Afterwards I'm flying out east to visit my aunt and uncle for Christmas and checking out some campuses around there."

"I didn't know you were gonna be out of town for the break…"

"Really? Well- Yeah, I'm going, and tomorrow will probably be our last chance before next semester."

Sora shrugged his shoulders, even knowing that Phillip couldn't see. "I don't know what to tell you."

"What's got you so busy that you can't sneak out for few measly hours?"

There were so many things Sora could've said. Family gathering. Important dinner. Stuck babysitting. Anything.

"Demyx's taking me to a show."

Upon hearing his name, the punk glanced over and threw up some devil horns before focusing on traffic again.

There was a short but pregnant pause before Phillip spoke again. "You're kidding me."

"I mean, if you asked like fifteen minutes ago I would've said yes, but-"

"-You're seriously spending time with him instead of me."

Sora's voice was stuck in his throat for a moment. "Dude, it's not a competition."

"You're sure? Because you're taking time that could've been spent with your boyfriend and spending it with another boy instead. How's that supposed to make me feel?"

He glanced over at his friend again, and while Demyx seemed generally oblivious, he lowered his voice anyway. "It's not like that, okay?" he said, a step above a whisper.

Phillip noticed the change in volume. "Where are you?"

"I told you, the show just got out. I'm in the car-"

"And he's with you?!"

"…Yes?! He drove us?"

"He's listening to us right now?"

The beginnings of a 'no' danced on Sora's tongue as he glanced over and realized Demyx was looking at him with an expression of mild worry. "Is everything okay?" he mouthed. Sora shrugged his shoulders in a panicked response.

"Sora!"

"No! Jesus Christ, will you back off?" Sora hated it when Phillip got this way. And worse, he hated the way he reacted when it got this bad. As much as Sora liked to turn the other cheek, he couldn't ignore where this was headed. "And, honestly, with the way you're acting now, I wouldn't want to go with you at all. You're acting like a little kid!"

"You're literally choosing hanging out with a friend instead of your boyfriend. That's childish."

"Look. I don't." Sora stopped, holding his hand up to try and block out all outside distractions. His next words had to be perfectly succinct so Phillip wouldn't misconstrue them. "Go visit your aunt and uncle, check out the campuses… maybe we should cool off a little bit."

There was a pregnant pause on Phillip's end. If it weren't for the small sounds of him trying and failing to say something on the line, Sora would have thought they were disconnected.

"…Are you breaking up with me?"

Sora almost snapped.

"No! God. We've both been going pretty hot lately I was just suggesting that you use the time you're away to cool down and reassess… us."

"Reassess whether or not we should even keep doing this, you mean."

"That's how you feel now. Call me later when you get home, okay?"

"I can't believe you're-"

"Promise me."

"-over the phone, can't even talk to me in person because you can't tear yourself away from that fucking wet blanket cocksu-"

"HEY!" Sora yelled, making Demyx jump in his seat and slam on his breaks. At least he was only driving slowly in the congested traffic of the parking garage. "I'm done."

"I knew it…"

"I'm done for tonight," Sora spat. "Call me when you get home from your trip."

Without bothering to wait for a response, Sora hung up and groaned so loudly it almost sounded like he was dying. Demyx felt awkward in the moment, nervously tapping his fingers on the steering wheel.

"So. I can't apologize enough," he said, scratching the back of his neck and staring out his window.

"What?" Sora asked. "You didn't- I'm the one who should be apologizing. That was embarrassing…"

"Yeah, but… He had a point, I mean, I… I've kind of been hoarding you this since I got back."

"You haven't been hoarding me, Phillip's always been that way, at least a little bit." Sora sighed and looked out his window. There wasn't much of a view save for the dirty cement walls and people walking to their cars.

Demyx turned the radio back on, but softly. The loud music from the concert had worn out both their ears, and after Sora's phone call they could both use a bit of quiet.

It was fifteen minutes later when they finally reached the exit to the parking garage.

"I can't believe that guy called me a cocksucker," the punk muttered.

Sora raised a brow and glanced towards his friend. "...How did you-"

"I could hear him plain as day, Sora. Your phone's speaker isn't soundproof." Demyx had a teasing lilt in his voice. The playful smirk that dimpled his left cheek put Sora at ease. The brunet slouched into the passenger chair and started laughing.

"I know, right? He couldn't have any more off base," he snickered.

Demyx tried to pretend he didn't snort when he laughed in response, instead taking the opportunity to cover up the sound with screeching tires as he peeled out of the garage towards the highway, giving up on a quiet night and cranking the music to eleven.

They decided to drive all night. Demyx tried to convince Sora it would be a good idea to drive out to the harbor and annoy some of his friends that lived there, but in the end they settled on a 24/7 diner on the outskirts of town. It was the kind that was connected to a gas station and overnight rest stop for truckers. They were probably the youngest table in the joint.

The tired waiter poured coffee for Demyx and brought Sora a chocolate shake. The punk started pouring in complimentary creamers that sat in a bowl between the tabasco and artificial sweeteners. They laughed too loudly at their dumb jokes, hummed along to the vintage 90's pop music that played on the staticy sound system, and Sora didn't think about Phillip for the rest of the night.

°o°

"And then you broke up with him," Riku said, sipping a cup of coffee. He sounded confident until he realized Sora was being oddly quiet. "You broke up with him, right? Brostates before prostates?"

Sora snorted his coffee and let it dribble down his chin. "Gross! No, we didn't break up. Hindsight and all that, y'know, because at the time I really wanted it to last, but now I feel like an idiot for wasting my time. Thanks," Sora said, when Riku handed him a paper towel to clean up after himself.

He continued, "Demyx didn't have to go back to school until almost two weeks into January, well after my semester started back up. So we spent the rest of my break hanging out. He took me to a couple punk shows, some underground stuff. Some rowdy, some quiet. I had a blast, though. I didn't even realize that Phillip waited over a week after he got back from his trip to call me back. By then I had almost forgotten."

°o°

"I decided I'm submitting an application to MTT," Phillip told him. They hardly ever talked at school since they started having sex. Sora had been caught off guard and it took him a moment that he was talking about the university he had visited with his family over the break.

"Oh. Okay?"

"My dad and grandma are legacy who donate a lot, so… with my grades and extra-currics I'll get in…" Phillip was awkwardly fiddling with the strap of his backpack. "It's out of state. Obviously."

Sora was still at a loss about why this talk couldn't wait until later. He had about three minutes to grab the textbooks he needed for the rest of the day and stop by the restroom to take a piss. "Okay?"

"And I'm going to have to start focusing on studying for the SATs and keeping my grades up during final exa-"

Sora was generally a patient person, but for some reason being around Phillip, who used to be so handsome and so perfect, was nothing short of tiresome. "Phillip. Spit it out, please."

He took in a deep breath, finally breaking contact with his bag strap and looking into Sora's eyes. "You wanna meet up on the hill after school?"

Oh. Sora guessed he should've been expecting that. As far as he knew, Phillip hadn't gotten laid since their last hookup (Sora definitely hadn't). He knew he still had a couple condoms hidden away in the pencil pouch in his backpack somewhere. "Yeah. Sure, I'm not busy."

So Sora spent the rest of his day with a hesitant skip in his step. He missed hanging out with Phillip the way they usually did. Although it wasn't like the senior boy to come up in the middle of the hallway and address Sora directly in front of other students. Kudos to him for communicating in person rather than through a text, Sora guessed.

Roxas had auditioned and got the part he wanted for the spring choir concert. It meant staying late a couple days a week, including today, so Sora was free to head straight to the hill after school. It was cold but he got out of his car anyway and sat on the warm hood, enjoying the view. Phillip rolled up about fifteen minutes later.

He got out of his jeep and stood awkwardly next to Sora's car before getting the nerve to speak.

"So, what I was saying earlier," he mumbled. It was weird hearing a choir kid mumble. His voice carried and Sora could hear it even above the chilled wind. Sora assumed that was the reason why the next words cut like a knife.

"When I leave… at the end of summer… I don't really want… long-distance…"

Sora's eyes widened a fraction. He hoped his small, sharp intake of breath went unnoticed by Phillip. Slowly, he canted his head to the side and glanced at Phillip for the first time since he arrived.

"Is that okay?"

"Yeah," Sora said, shaking his head. "I mean- yeah, no, that makes perfect sense. You're right. What we have… wouldn't really work long-distance, anyways."

He hesitated a moment, but Phillip reached his hand out and touched Sora's shoulder, giving his upper arm a light squeeze. "But… y'know, that doesn't mean that we can't still…"

Sora looked up into his bedroom eyes, astonished. "Really? Really." Phillip pulled back quickly. "You break up with me and then you try to get me to have sex with you?" There was a heavy tension in the air before a strong gust of wind flew Sora's hair into his eyes and the younger boy started laughing, nearly cackling, and he combed his hair back. "Get in my car and take your pants off. You owe me that much."

Phillip still had a nervous look in his eye, but he trusted Sora and opened up the backdoor to his camino and sat inside, leaving the door up. Sora took a deep breath, filling his lungs with bitter winter air, and then slid into the backseat to take advantage of the choir's golden boy one last time.

oooOOOooo

"So I guess that's it, then," Sora sighed into his phone. It was a week since their last hilltop meeting. Sora waited until the possibility that maybe Phillip would come back, but so far the senior had been avoiding Sora. It was a two-way street, Sora supposed, because he stopped hanging out in the choir wing waiting for his brother to get out of practice.

"That sucks, brah. Sorry it had to be like that." Demyx's voice was staticy on the other end. He had returned home just after New Years and was probably in the brick behemoth of a dorm building on the island. "At least it wasn't as bad as Rider?"

Sora scoffed. "Yeah, but at least with him, I had-"

…You.

He stopped himself for going any further. They hadn't really talked about the kiss at all and Sora was absolutely fine with that. In some cases separation made the heart grow fonder, but Sora didn't feel that way with Demyx. It gave him a warm, happy feeling in his stomach that their friendship could survive even the worse of adolescent atrocities.

There was no denying that the presence of a good friend helped Sora through the heartache of a breakup. More than anything, he just wanted his best friend back.

"If you wanna, we can-" Sora heard a knock on the door through Demyx's phone line. "-chat online and– one second." He heard him open the door. There were some voices, at least two others, sounding happy and saying Demyx's name. His friend laughed loud into the barely-covered receiver of his cell phone. Sora couldn't hear them talking that well and focused his energy on driving.

"You still there?" Demyx asked after nearly a minute of ignoring him.

"Yeah, I'm here."

"Cool. Sorry about that, dude, some friends just got back to the island and we're gonna hang out. I'll text you later, okay?"

"Oh… yeah, sure dude. Go have fun."

"See yah," Demyx said quickly, a loud peal of laughter cut off as the he ended the call.

This was fine. No big deal. Demyx was allowed to have friends outside of high school, obviously, and Sora could find more people to vent with.

Except… he couldn't. Demyx was the only person he'd come out to, and Tidus and Wakka… they weren't really the emotional support types. Maybe his parents? Sora was pretty sure he'd rather die than go to his parents with boyfriend issues.

He pitched his phone onto his bed, letting it bounce safely onto his pillow before roaming down the hall to the living room. Roxas was sitting on the floor playing a game on the console.

"Hey fartface. What're you playing?"

He was standing close enough for Roxas to sock him in the back of the knee. Sora tumbled backwards onto the armrest of the couch. He supposed he deserved it. Roxas never answered his question and continued playing some sort of open-world game where he ran aimlessly in an open field. There weren't any enemies on the field so Sora figured it was okay to talk.

"How's school going?"

"I thought it was sorta an unspoken rule that we wouldn't talk about that hellmouth in sanctuary."

"I don't give a shit about grades, man. You know what I mean."

Roxas paused his game and glanced over his shoulder. "Explain."

"Like! I dunno, how're things with Haze? And Pudge and Toilet?"

His brother's baby blue eyes turned towards the ceiling as he asked for patience and returned to attention to his game. "They're fine."

"Just fine?"

"Yeah, well…"

There was drama, dancing on the tip of Roxas' tongue, Sora could feel it. "Ahuh…"

"I think… Hayner might have a thing for Olette?"

"Really? She's cute, good for him."

Roxas gave Sora a tense glance over his shoulder. "I mean. I guess, but she doesn't really like him back." There's the drama. Sora leaned his chin on the armrest and listened to his brother while watching him slowly approach a giant monster hidden in the foggy background. "And, I dunno, I love Hayner, but he's dense as fuck most of the time and wears his heart on his sleeve. He's not picking up that Olette is not interested, and I get the feeling it's all gonna crash and burn."

"Have you tried talking to him about it?"

Roxas snorted. "Yeah, sure, 'Hey, fuckwad, y'know your best friend that you've been crushing on since seventh grade? Stop it.' I don't think feelings can just stop like that."

Sora shifted uncomfortably on the couch and tried not to think about Demyx. "I think… you really should talk to him about it before he does something he really regrets."

Once again, Roxas paused and shifted his body slightly to look at Sora. "Why do I get the impression that you're speaking from some kind of experience?"

"Because I might be. Talk to him and clear the air."

Roxas returned the free advice with a defiant look as he unpaused and continued his long trek towards the ominous giant in the fog. It was minutes later when he finally approached it, using a bow and arrow to scale the giant's leg.

"So what about you?" Sora asked.

Roxas replied almost automatically, paying more attention to what Sora assumed was some sort of boss fight. "What about me?" Roxas seemed to enjoy the weirder games. Sora's gaming sensibilities were geared towards racing and shooters.

"Any prospects on the horizon? Girl got your eye?"

"Pfft, like I'd date any girl that went to our school."

"Ah," Sora said with a nod. Perfectly understandable, and most of all smart, exactly the response he expected from Roxas. Sora nibbled on the inside of his cheek before he decided to push a little more. "Any guys?"

"Huh?" Roxas flinched as his little dude fell off the shoulder of the behemoth and he cursed as he tried to catch onto its rocky body.

"On the horizon?"

"What?" It seemed to take Roxas a second to connect the dots. "What? Gaaaaaay."

Sora pursed his lips. "Says the boy with a giant Freddie Mercury poster in his bedroom."

"Hey, Freddie was married to a lovely lady when he died."

"Yeah, but he was still gay."

"No, he was bisexual," Roxas stated. Sora wasn't entirely sure what point his brother was trying to make, but Roxas' brain housed more facts about Queen than any normal fifteen year old boy would probably know. It seemed like Roxas was still focused on his game, but he still spared half a second to glance over his shoulder. "You okay? You haven't been this mopey since last summer."

Last summer? That was… Right, when he and Demyx… Sora cleared his throat and stood to ransack the kitchen for a late night snack. "Yeah, I'm fine. Just… talk to Hayner, alright?"

oooOOOooo

It was several weeks later, probably around Valentine's Day, when it really started to sink it.

Sora was single, desperately ready to mingle, and not a prospect in sight.

Winter was notoriously the worst time for parties. Blitz was over, holidays were over, and most of the seniors who were old enough to host a halfway-decent rager were too busy focusing on college applications and testing. His mom was even starting to ask about backup schools, in case Destiny University didn't work out. It was never too early for early enrollment…

"I haven't given it much thought," Sora had said to her. "I mean, Bastion University's always an option, right?" Of course it wasn't, Destiny Island or bust, but he had to say something to placate his parent's worries.

Spring Break came in March. Sora spent most of his time at Wakka's playing videogames with him and Tidus. Before finals-mania kicked in Sora went to one party, hosted by one of the popular kids where he managed to neck with a guy from another school in the bathroom while Wakka and Tidus were distracted in the backyard. All of the bedrooms were locked and the kid was terrified of being outed, so when someone banged on the door he freaked and made a break for the bathroom window, landing the in the shrubbery outside and bringing even more attention to himself. Sora sighed, swearing off men for the rest of his life, and went to the kitchen for a beer. At some point in the night he called Demyx and they probably talked for hours. Or maybe minutes. Sora was a bit too wasted and upset to remember.

Finally it was mid-May and summer was starting to sink its teeth in with a vengeance. Sora started paying more attention to the senior class and how terrified they were. That would be him this time next year. Final exams weren't much of a chore. As much as he hated to admit it, without Phillip around to distract him he was doing much better on his finals than mid-terms in December.

He only had one exam left before summer vacation, English Lit, before it all came crashing down.

"We had a big party in the choir room for all the seniors leaving," Roxas was telling him during the hour long break between exams. Tidus and Wakka had some stupid P.E. loophole that made them exempt from that final because of blitzball so they got to go home early. Lucky bastards. Sora spent his time in the library with his brother and the girl his buddy Haystack was crushing on.

"Was it sad?" she asked, mostly focusing on her math textbook, but giving up just enough awareness to follow Roxas in conversation.

"People were bawling. You'd think they'd just been given a death warrant. I only really knew Phillip but there all the seniors were there. …Sora?"

Sora had been pointedly focused on the study guides and sample questions his Lit teacher had given them weeks ago. He'd already memorized almost everything on it, but at least it beat having to listen to one more talk about stupid choir and stupid fucking Phillip Thompson

"Hm?"

"Weren't you friends with Phillip? Do you know what where he's going for school?"

Sora was about to answer before Olette perked up and dispensed with some gossip. "Oh! It's MTT, isn't it? Same as Aurora?" Sora's grip tightened on his pencil.

"Yeah, that's it. Tower Tech. Yeah I thought they broke up but apparently not…"

"She's my TA in algebra," Olette stated, pointing to her textbook. "I overheard her saying they never really broke up, just had a separation to focus on school, but since they're going to the same place they decided to get back together."

A loud crack resonated in the relatively quiet library. Sora looked down and realized his plastic mechanical pencil had been shattered in his hand.

"…Dude, are you okay?"

He wasn't. He really, really wasn't, mostly because he should be okay. This shouldn't be a problem. Phillip was kind of an asshole, the same way Flynn was an asshole before him, but that didn't make it any less painful when he watched Flynn and Rapunzel drive off together after prom. This was different, though. Sora didn't have a crush on Aurora. He wasn't even sure that he'd ever said more that two words to her, or if she ever even really looked in his direction. So why was it that she got to run away with Phillip to the other side of the country, leaving Sora all alone?

And as much as Sora was convinced that maybe it was because of their history that made Phillip and Aurora want to stick together, a curious thing happened after his English Lit final. It was the very last class of the school year. He was technically a senior now. He should be ecstatic. However on his way to the parking lot, he passed by her.

Out of the possibly dozens of times they crossed paths that school year, she never bothered to look his way. Never even a passing glance. But today, she locked eyes with him. Crystal blue eyes narrowed and her youthful smile moved the faintest degree south. In the instant Sora witnessed it happening, she turned back to her friends, giggling lowly about something unheard over the noise of the hallways before the group of them erupted into laughter as they turned a corner.

It was a miracle he even drove Roxas home without steering them into a ditch. The second he got into his room he locked the door and called Demyx.

"Hey loser," the punk answered. "So I'm guessing you're all done with school?"

"I think… I have a conspiracy theory."

"Oh yeah?"

"I need you to hear me out."

"What is this like FBI level shit? Should I get the Men In Black on the line?"

"I think… I think Phillip might've cheated on me with Aurora."

A long pause on Demyx's end was covered up by the sounds of him shifting on his bed. "…So- wait, from like five months ago? I thought you guys were ancient history."

"No- I mean, maybe I got it backwards. I think Phillip used me to cheat on Aurora. They never really broke up. At least…" Sora collapsed on his desk chair and glared daggers into the wall.

"I dunno, brah. I don't really think golden boy has it in him to pull off a cheat like that, I mean… You guys were pretty serious, right?"

"I guess."

Were they? It was so long ago Sora mostly forgot how good it had felt being around the other boy. His heart did used to skip a beat, and thinking of Phillip's face did used to make him smile, but that seemed years ago instead of months. If the thought of Phillip didn't make him happy, then why did it hurt so much?

"It can be hard to let go of first loves. Some people need to let go entirely, some can stay friends, others need that intimacy, I guess. Don't get too hung up on it, alright?"

God, talking with Demyx always made him feel so much better. He hated that his best friend was so far away. "Thanks. I wish you were here. When are you getting back for summer break?"

There was another long pause, another shift heard over the phone line. "Uh… we talked about that last time, didn't we?"

"Uh…" Sora's mind reeled back to the last time they spoke. He called a lot right after the break-up in January, once at the start of Spring Break in March, and that drunk dial at the party a few weeks ago, but they actually hadn't spoken to each other in a long time.

"I'm going abroad this summer. I'll be gone for over two months."

"Two months?" Sora said, his mouth hanging open.

"Yeah! I mean you sounded pretty buzzed last we talked, but remember my buddy Terk? Her family owns this huge resort in South Africa and they're letting a bunch of us stay there for free over the break! There's a water park there and everything!"

Sora almost wanted to snap back you live on an island what do you need a water park for?! but he held himself back. "Nah, man, that sounds rad. You're gonna have a blast."

"My parents were totally cool with it, it was amazing. I had to get my passport updated and everything! Man, I am so amped. Sorry I haven't called much, but a lot of it was studying for finals and prepping for this trip. We leave in a couple days."

A couple days? That meant there wasn't time for any last-minute trips to the harbor. Sora's parents probably wouldn't be as chill about the idea of him driving out to Destiny Islands alone, and the whole entire ten dollars in Sora's wallet wouldn't be enough for the gas there and the ferry across the bay.

"That's so cool. Send a postcard, yeah?"

"Totally, dude. Oh, hey, Terk's here, she wants me to help her shop for a swimsuit. I won't be able to use my phone during my trip but you can email me, okay?"

"Yeah, no, don't worry about it. Have fun, dude."

Demyx hung up quickly, leaving Sora to sigh loudly and toss his phone on the bed. This wasn't too bad. This wasn't horrible. He could survive his last summer as a high school student without his best friend and no boyfriend. Easy-peasy.

°o°

"It sucked," Sora whined, drying a plate with a kitchen towel while Riku rinsed off the other one in the sink. "I barely left the house. Tidus and Wakka were kept busy with blitz training. It was the worst summer of my life. I sorta blamed Demyx for it."

"I don't think he was purposefully abandoning you…" Riku asked, shutting off the faucet so he could hear better.

"It left me a lot of time alone with my thoughts, though," Sora said, leaning against the counter and thinking while Riku started putting the plates away. "About the whole Phillip-Aurora thing. The only reason he chose that school was because it was Aurora's top choice. They say you shouldn't pick a school based on a high school sweetheart, but… it seems like it really worked out for them." Riku looked at Sora as he handed him the plate. Sora took it, but kept his eyes locked in a steady gaze outside the window above the faucet. Almost melancholy. It made Riku feel like he should do something. "…He finally proposed earlier in the spring. That fucker sent me a Save the Date."

There was a long stretch of silence. "I'm sorry," Riku finally said. "That really sucks."

Sora released a puff of air before glancing at the taller man. The mischievous spark was back in his eye and it put Riku at ease. "But now we're finally at the fun part where I completely burn a bridge with my best friend!"

"…Seriously?"

"Yeah, well-"

°o°

Summer was practically over for Sora by the time Demyx returned from his trip abroad. He managed to fill the void hanging out with Tidus and Wakka when they weren't busy with blitzball practice, and he even managed to sneak out to a couple parties. However, responsibility came crashing back on his shores when his parents sat him down with a series of pamphlets and fliers from other colleges that weren't Destiny Island U.

"What is it exactly you want to do?" his mom asked. "Business? Tech?"

Both sounded ordinary and bland. Sora was struck silent by the realization that he didn't know what he wanted to do with his life. He wanted to continue doing exactly what he was doing now, which seemed to be floating from party to party with little thought given towards schools in the meantime. He really let himself go without Demyx around to guide him.

"Umm…" Sora muttered, sifting through some of the fliers. There was one for MTT that he glared daggers at before moving it aside to uncover a Bastion University flier. "Why not this one?"

"You want to stay local?" his dad asked. The entire populace surrounding the college town was a victim of urban sprawl. Even though Sora attended Bastion High, Bastion University in the city of Bastion proper was a good half hour away, or more if traffic was bad. His family lived in one of dozens of suburban communities dotting the outside of southern Bastion, barely considered inside city limits by most people.

"I mean. It'd be cheaper, wouldn't it? Cheaper than DIU?"

His mom nibbled her lip and glanced over to her husband. "This really shouldn't be about cost," he explained, except it was. Even if they had money set aside to help with his tuition, Sora would have to get some kind of crazy scholarship to afford DIU, and after bombing his junior year it didn't seem like that was going to happen. And aimlessly wandering around a university with no major in sight wouldn't be the way to go either…

"It's still early," his mom insisted. "No need to rush, but maybe making a top-five list would help you focus on your goals in the upcoming year."

Sora sighed heavily, picking up all the fliers into a hefty stack in his arms. "I'll look into them. I'll have a plan before early registration."

He felt like he was lying, but his parents hopeful faces told him that he bought enough time to procrastinate on that decision for a while. At this point, Sora wasn't convinced he even wanted to go to college at all.

There was a part of him that felt like he was being forced into a situation he didn't want. School shouldn't feel like an obligation, should it? He sighed and tossed the fliers onto his desk, all but slam dunking the MTT pamphlet into his trash bin. His phone blinked with a new text message, just a response from Wakka a few hours too late. Sora considered calling Demyx. He was pretty sure he was supposed to be home by now, but it had been months since they last talked.

He never received that postcard.

oooOOOooo

School started. Sora was a senior now. The freshman looked so terrifyingly small, but at the same time he was jealous. They didn't have guidance counselors breathing down their necks trying to reach some quota of graduating students moving onto college.

"After last spring's gaff I think attempting Destiny Island U might be a little brash," the counselor said, a soft-voiced man who had the patience of a saint. "Your GPA dropped nearly half a point, you're still in the top eight percentile, but DIU is honestly going to be honed in on the top-three. Their campus is too small and the prestige of the name makes it a pipe dream for most students."

His glasses slid down his nose so he could look Sora in the eye. "Unless you can pick yourself back up again. I'm talking straight-As and extra credit on top of that. I don't think you'll make salutatorian but since you have a solid foundation with your freshman and sophomore grades, you can still achieve your goal. I can help you with editing on your admissions essay, and there's a board in the front office with regular postings for volunteer work."

Sora tried his best to appear focused, but this seemed like so much work. How on earth did Demyx manage to handle all his classes without losing his grip?

The meeting lasted a stressful, brief five minutes before the next senior student was ushered in and Sora was handed even more pamphlets and some handouts on how to sculpt the best college application.

Sora was still glaring holes into all the papers when Wakka and Tidus joined him during lunch hour in the courtyard.

"Somebody's a grumpy gus," Wakka said, playfully kneeing Sora in the back of the head and he plopped on the grass beside him.

"Where were you guys at?" Sora asked. It was nearly twenty minutes into their break and it wasn't like the blitzball players to be late to lunch.

"We had to fill out paperwork for our letterman jackets. A salesman came by during practice right before vacation ended," Tidus answered, his mouth already stuffed with the homemade sandwich pulled from a brown paper bag.

Sora put the paperwork down and glanced to Wakka with a smile. "Oh yeah, that's right! Congrats, Captain."

The tanned boy huffed loudly, shaking his head like it was no big deal, but Sora could tell he was pleased as punch with himself. "What about you? I guess they don't hand out lettermans for Latin Club, ya?"

"Which is bullshit," Sora said. He'd already finished eating and leaned back into the grass, enjoying his friend's company. He actually really liked Wakka and Tidus, even if he didn't hang out with them as much as he wished. But this was the first year without boys or prospects to distract him. For one brief, shining moment, he was at peace.

"Oh, you had your counselor meeting today too?" Tidus asked, once he had a moment to hork the giant bit of his sandwich down. Sora glanced up and saw him looking down at the paperwork the brunet had almost blissfully forgotten about.

"Yeah… Have you guys given much thought on where you're gonna go next year?"

Wakka shrugged. "Season's not over yet. But I've gotten some nibbles from some scouts…"

Tidus' eyes nearly bugged out of his skull. "Really?! Dude, that's amazing! Why didn't you say anything?"

"Nothing's decided yet," he said. "And some are out of state. I'm waiting to see if someone closer to home takes notice. Weigh my options… I need to find one that has a degree I can fall back on."

"What, in case going pro doesn't work out?" Tidus laughed, meaning it as a joke. The thought of either of them taking on the profession league seemed so far away and impossible, but Sora easily saw that Wakka was taking this seriously.

"That's really cool," Sora said. College blitzball was a completely different league. If the school was big enough, some of those games were even televised. He understood why Wakka was so nervous. Looking back at his college prep paperwork, Sora felt the same gnawing anxiety crawling in the pit of his stomach. That disquieted feeling of not being good enough when they had so many people to impress.

Wakka mentioned he was looking at colleges in Traverse or someplace out of state. Nobody mentioned Bastion University as an option.

The start of the year was distracting enough, and Sora decided to spend more time going to the late-season blitz games to support his friends. His birthday came to pass, as low key as it ever was, only now he was eighteen and even the possibilities of buying all the cigarettes and porn he wanted wasn't enough to remove this funk.

He didn't get his usual birthday call from Demyx. Not even a text. That was the final nail in the coffin.

It wasn't until late October when he was called back into the counselor's office that he became more aware of the upcoming deadlines.

"Your grades haven't picked up much," he sighed. "I don't want to tell you not to try, but I've seen students turned away from DIU with better. A 3.2 won't wow them, but write an impressive essay and continuing on with the track I recommended in September will help. Have you talked with your teachers at all?"

Sora floundered with a response. The answer was no, he hadn't, and didn't really want to. The only reason he was even trying for Destiny Island University was because Demyx was there, but that Demyx had… drifted off, somewhat, it all seemed a little pointless. His grades were better than perfect to get into Bastion University. He didn't know how to properly tell the counselor, or worse his parents, that he was aiming for a lesser school.

"Well, try talking to them and see if you can get some help with grades, especially in sciences. And as usual you can always come to me. The deadline for early admissions is coming up in two weeks. Try not to lose focus."

For the first time in probably over a year, Sora bothered to check out the DIU website and look up information on early admissions. Demyx did the whole early admissions process, but he didn't remember him making a big deal about it. He wished he could just… talk to Demyx about it, rather than deal with this awkward silent treatment he'd been foisted in.

He had always heard about friendships growing strained when people left for different colleges. They make new friends, head in different directions, there's new inside jokes and gossip that the other left out of, and in the end it wasn't worth it. Maybe that's how Demyx felt, Sora thought, as he clicked around the website and looked at all the pretty tropical photos of the Destiny Island campus.

While reading up on the application process, he nearly choked on the fee. "Eighty dollars," Sora gasped into the quiet of his bedroom. He scrambled to open the webpage for Bastion and looked up the same information. Their fee was a slightly more manageable thirty-five dollars. "Eighty dollars are they insane?" Sora found himself whispering aloud as he clicked back and forth between tabs and compared the two schools.

In the big picture, it wasn't like eighty dollars was an exorbitant fee, if Sora made it in. But there was no guarantee. And if he ended up applying for, say, four or five different schools, that could end up costing well over two hundred dollars.

He decided.

There was no way he was going to make his parents pay for an eighty dollar application fee for a school he didn't even want to go to anymore.

And although he made up his mind, he didn't exactly tell anybody right away. Still, finding a solution to one of his biggest problems at the moment gave him a great deal of relief. He wasn't going to Destiny Island University. He wasn't going to Destiny Island University. He was not.

No matter how he said it to himself, he kept getting the same giddy feeling in his stomach. No more worrying about whether or not he was smart enough. No more feeling like he was getting left behind by Demyx. He would start a new life at a new school and be far and away from all that stress.

Oddly enough, Sora's grades improved, only slightly, now that he didn't feel hindered by the tight restraints of getting into a prestigious school. He wasn't pressured to do any extra credit assignments he didn't want to do. While most of his classmates were terrified about the application process, the Bastion admissions system was a walk in the park compared to Destiny Island.

Nearing mid-November, Sora had finished filling out early admissions applications for Bastion and a few other safety schools.

"You got them all filled out already?" his mom asked. "Can I see?"

"Oh. They're on file with the counselor." It wasn't a lie, Bastion High had a service to help students fill out applications and mail them off. It was completely optional though, but Sora felt the need to keep his parents out of the application process as much as possible. It was stressful enough having to deal with his own standards, let alone theirs. "They helped me go over them a million times, mom. Everything's good to go! I just need the checks for the admissions fees…"

"Okay," she sounded a little unsure, but gave Sora a kiss on top of his bristly brown head. "Your father got the note you left. The checks are on his desk, don't forget them before you leave."

She left not long after for work. While Sora waited for Roxas to get his shoes on, he went into his parents' study and found a stack of four checks along with the note Sora had made last night with all the schools he needed money for and the totals.

He wrote down Destiny Island. It was stupid, he knew it was dumb. This charade was going a little too far. He did have an admissions application for Destiny Island, but he knew if he didn't add their name to the list then his parents would get suspicious and ask him about it. He simply wasn't ready to go through that ordeal.

Yet in his hands was a check for Destiny Island University's admissions office for eighty of his parents' hard-earned dollars and he felt a sick jolt in his stomach. He would tell them about it. Soon. But not right now.

He took the check and, with a deep breath, dropped it in the shredder on the opposite side of the study by his mom's desk.

"Sora! I'm ready!" Roxas called from down the hall. Sora sighed and nodded his head. Right. This was okay. This was fine. He'd tell his parents about it. Later.

Only for some god-forsaken reason his mom decided that tonight would be perfect for a Breakfast For Dinner night and Sora couldn't bring up such a debbie-downer announcement over blueberry pancakes. The following morning his father had already gone to work, and this was the sort of thing that should be discussed with both of them present. That night was an awards ceremony for the blitzball team, and Sora promised he'd go. There was a huge house party afterwards and Sora ended up sleeping his hangover off at Tidus' house.

Schoolwork started picking up in a desperate bid to get everyone ready for midterms. Sora didn't want to cause drama over Thanksgiving so he continued holding his tongue. After break was over nearly every evening was filled with studying either at Wakka's or Tidus' house.

Finally everything came crashing down around him when he collapsed on the couch after his last midterm of the semester. His mom came into the living room, hands on hips.

"Hey, kiddo. Have you heard back from Destiny Island yet about your application?"

Sora was pretty sure all the color paled from his face. "Uh… I was told most colleges don't respond until a month or two later…" What the fuck was he doing?

She looked concerned. "Well, your father was balancing his checkbook this morning, and it seems like that's the only college that hasn't deposited the check yet. I'm worried it might have gotten lost in the mail…"

Oh god he was just making things worse.

"…I-" he cut himself off, but now he had his mom's attention. He cleared his throat and started over. "That's… That's because I didn't send it."

His eyes were clenched shut so he wouldn't have to see his mom's reaction.

"…What?" she gasped, softly and confused. "Why?"

"I don't… want to go…"

"Sora, I don't-" Her voice was getting louder. She was getting closer. "I don't understand. Why didn't you talk to us about it, sweetheart?"

She was being so nice. Sora wanted to scream. He got his rationality from his father so he could manage an argument just fine but disappointment was something he was something he was decidedly poorly equipped to handle.

"I just. It didn't feel like it was necessary. I didn't want to go, so I didn't apply…"

"But Destiny Island was your dream school, I don't know how- …Isn't your friend Demyx there? Did something happen?"

Sora gnawed on the inside of his cheek. "He's there, last I heard. We don't really talk anymore… It seemed– stupid to follow someone to a college like that." His mind went to Phillip and Aurora, and their on-again-off-again relationship that was going to follow them to university. It seemed so pointless and dumb. Why try to fix something that was obviously broken by forcing the pieces together?

"And… I don't think, realistically, that Destiny Island is what I want. I don't know what I want to do with my life yet. I don't know what my major would be. It seems pointless and expensive making you guys throw money at this expensive school while I wander around aimlessly trying to figure myself out."

"Every college is expensive, Sora. If you really felt that way you should have talked to us about it instead of lying. This is really unlike you…"

He gulped down the sudden need to tack on, "And also I'm gay. And also like ninety percent of the time when I say I'm at a friend's house I'm at a party getting stoned. And all those times I said I was studying at the library I was making out with a dude in the backseat of my car."

"I'm sorry."

"It's… fine," she sighed, rubbing her temples. "You shouldn't feel pressured to go to a school you don't want to go to, but I want you to understand that I'm allowed to be upset because of this. You gave us no warning. You made Dad write a check for nothing."

"Do you think he'll be pissed?"

She sighed and glanced back at her son, reading the obviously stressed creases on his brow. Cloud didn't really ever get upset. "I'm sure he'll survive, despite our best efforts otherwise." She wrapped her arm around Sora's shoulders and pulled him in for a kiss. "This is odd," she sighed, almost whispering into his shoulder. "I feel like we need to… ground you? Is that a thing?"

"I wouldn't blame you if you did."

"You don't watch TV or play video games like Roxas does. What's there to punish you with? I don't want to take away your phone privileges, that's important…"

"Curfew."

"Be home by nine? Everynight? This break? Is that too harsh?" She sounded so unsure of herself. Sora snorted and buried his smile into the palms of his hands.

"That sounds fine, Mom." It wasn't like he was in the mood to party during winter vacation. Staying at home and stewing in his guilt actually felt like a brisk change of pace, for once. Now that his mother knew about it, he felt an immense weight lifted off his shoulders. He wasn't going to Destiny Island University, and that was okay.

His brother probably took the news worse than anybody. Roxas asked a million questions, why after why after why, until Sora could only shrug his shoulders.

"Won't it be cool if I go to school in Bastion, though?" Sora asked. "I'll be close by in case you ever need me." He smothered his hand in Roxas' blond bird's nest. Since when was he getting so tall? He'd be the same height as Sora before long.

The younger boy flinched and playfully punched Sora's arms away. "Yeah right! When would I ever voluntarily hang out with you?"

"Ouch. Words hurt, Rox."

"Sticks and stones." He stabbed Sora in his side, jabbing him with his fingertips right between the ribs, and the brunet immediately fell to the ground howling in pain.

"I'M TELLING MOM!"

"She'll never believe you."

oooOOOooo

Since Roxas didn't have a car yet and neither boys had jobs, Sora found himself being Roxas' personal chauffeur for the majority of break. Despite school being out of session, the choir still had a winter recital to put on right before the holidays. Roxas had a solo, a small one, only a few bars before the rest of the chorus hummed in, but Sora thought he was amazing. He debated whether to tell Roxas as much, but the kid would never believe him if he did.

Tidus was visiting family. Wakka had family flying in, so he was kept busy. The holidays were unsurprisingly boring.

Until he got a phone call at one in the morning from Demyx on December twenty-sixth.

Sora debated long and hard on whether or not he should even entertain the thought of answering his cell phone. It had been over five long months since he even heard a peep from his so-called best friend. He couldn't think of any reasons why he would bother calling him at one in the morning. Two more rings and it would bounce into voicemail. He gritted his teeth, clenched his eyes, and sucked in a quick breath.

"Hello?"

"Mele Kalikimaka, brah," Demyx laughed. "Long time. I didn't wake you up, did I?"

Sora rolled onto his back and stared up at the black ceiling. It was obvious in his voice that he had been woken up, he couldn't hide it. "It's okay. I don't– actually, I do mind, a little bit. What the fuck, dude? Did you forget how to pick up a phone?"

"Sorry, sorry. I knew this wouldn't be easy. After I got back from Africa the semester started up pretty quick, and now that I'm a third-year I get to be involved in some of the lab work and on-site studies. Did you know that there are over twenty different state parks on Destiny Islands?"

Sora smacked some of the gunked-up spit from the roof of his mouth and tried to stifle a yawn. "Sorry, can't say that I did."

"Huh. It should have mentioned it in the admissions packet. Anyway, I had to be on-site at five AM almost every morning. It sucks so much, bro. I've been going to sleep with the sun almost every night."

"I hope you accept my apologies." Sora lifted his arm, he couldn't even see his hand in the dark, and rubbed the tip of index finger against the pad of his thumb. "I dunno if you can hear it, but I've got the world's tiniest violin playing the saddest song just for you."

Demyx laughed. "Yeah, it's kind of hard to hear over the waves."

The words stuck with Sora for a moment. "Waves? Dude it's like one AM in December what are you doing at the beach? Aren't you cold?" Even if the Islands were further south, it wasn't so far away from the mainland to avoid some winter weather. Even if that weather only meant lows in the fifties at night, added with the windchill blowing off the ocean, it was probably at the very least unpleasant.

"Ha! Well, I am on the beach, but I'm not on the Islands, or the Harbor. Wanna take a guess? I already gave you a hint!"

Sora was still a little groggy. "Huh?"

"Hawai'i, dude! Honolulu. My parents decided to celebrate Christmas here."

"You're– God, how far away is that?"

"Far. The plane ride was the literal worse. But I'm four hours behind you. It's only nine here."

Sora sighed. "And why the sudden wake-up call?"

"I said it first, dude! Mele Kalikimaka, Merry Christmas! Get anything good?"

It was difficult to tell if the knot in Sora's stomach came from general annoyance after being woken up, or from hurt that Demyx was pretending that the past five months of radio silence didn't happen. "Uh. Some money. A new CD stereo. Some stocking stuffer shit."

"Ahuh. Ahuh. Rad." Sora could almost picture him walking down the edge of a Hawaiian-paradise-style beach, the very last dregs of sunset making the sky a dull, gorgeous cerulean as the stars began to amass. Barefoot, with jeans rolled up his calves, kicking at waves… Sora hated it. "Anything cool going on? How's the scene?"

The knot twisted and made itself tighter. "I dunno, Dem. There hasn't been much of a scene in a long, long while."

Sora wasn't going for nice, but to Demyx's respect, the older boy responded in a much more level-headed way than if Sora were presented with the same attitude from a friend. "O-kay, I told you I was sorry…" He hadn't, Sora fumed. This wasn't exactly a conversation he wanted to have at one in the morning. He hadn't even been asleep that long, there was no way he was getting back now. "Once you get here you'll get it. College is super busy, and it's wicked competitive. I feel like I had to claw people's eyes out to get a spot on that survey crew."

"Yeah. Well. Maybe Bastion U will be a little easier on me."

"Psh, as a backup to your backup, maybe. It doesn't take a genius to make it into Bastion, but you've got more potential than most of the trust fund jokes that make it into Destiny…"

That was the final, subtle, yet drastic push that forced Sora over the edge. Where was this pep talk a month ago? Where was it when the semester started? What happened between now and last year, when Demyx surprised him with concert tickets and his actual fucking presence in his life instead of a phone call after ignoring him for almost half a year.

"It's not a backup, Demyx. I'm going to Bastion next year."

Silence. Not surprising. There was a moment where he was barely able to eke out a few sounds before letting out a flustered, "Why?! What– I thought we had a plan to do this together? I thought–"

"You can't think these things and then not talk to me for that long! Things change. Plans change. I looked into it and decided Destiny Island and it's fucking over twenty state parks wasn't a big enough draw for me anymore."

"I thought… I was…" Demyx didn't finish his thought, but Sora got the jist.

"Look, no hard feelings or anything. I'm still…" Sora couldn't even bring himself to say your best friend, because that was something they used to be. What they had was something from a coming of age story, a relationship faded in distance and time. Sora was sure, at some point in his future, he'd look back on his friendship with Demyx with a fond smile. He just wish there wasn't such a jarring conclusion to all this. "Team Demyx no matter what."

"…Sora." God. Fuck. His voice wasn't cracking, it wasn't.

"I'll see you when I see you, Dem. Enjoy college. Stay safe. Don't…" He didn't know how to end this. Too fast would be cruel, but dragging it out could be just as worse.

"Sora, I'm sorry, I didn't–"

"I'm hanging up now, dude. I want you to-"

"We're coming home next week! I'm supposed to go straight back to the lab, but I can call in and-"

"Demyx, no. Don't put your academics on the line for some shitstain like me." Sora was always one big distraction. He was constantly putting Demyx on the line for stupid, meaningless things like parties or the next lay. It couldn't continue on line this.

"Sora you're not-"

"And it's not that big of a deal. This sucks, but…" But what? It's not you, it's me. Why did this feel like such a breakup? It's not like they were ever dating, but this stung much worse than anything Flynn or Phillip could have done. "…I think this is probably for the best."

There was a long pause before Demyx spoke again. The silence was filled with cell phone static, with the softest, faintest hint of ocean waves in the background. Sora hoped his parents weren't going to be billed for this long-distance call.

"…I really fucked up, huh? I wasn't… really expecting…"

God. God. Fucking dammit. Sora was clenching his fist so hard that his blunt fingernails made divots into his palm. Here Demyx was calling an old friend after Christmas to check in and chat and of course Sora had to fuck it up. Sora just destroyed Demyx and in turn probably ruined the entire Skönstedt family vacation.

"I'm sorry if I fucked up your trip," Sora mumbled. Freaking typical Sora Strife here to ruin everything. "I'm gonna…" I'm gonna go back to sleep and pretend that all of this is a nightmare. "…I'm gonna hang up now."

"You know you don't have warn me. If you don't want to talk anymore you can just hang up," Demyx replied, his voice sounding a little dead. Maybe it was a testament to their relationship that the you hang up first/no you hang up first momentum they had going on made both of them reluctant to end the call. Especially since this would probably be the last call for a long, long while. Longer than five months, at least.

"I'll see you later, Dem," Sora said, so quiet he almost couldn't hear himself talk.

"See you, Sora."

°o°

"And that was the last time we talked until…" Sora paused to think about it, "a few years later at the harbor. At that party."

They were sitting on opposite sides of the couch, facing each other like they did last night. Sora's feet were cold and they were buried under Riku's legs, warm and toasty.

"Wait- the party where I threw up in a trash can?"

Sora smiled fondly. "The very same. So I'm told, I don't remember any of it."

"God. That's… a long time not to talk to your best friend." Riku was unconsciously moving his feet to help warm Sora up.

"Well, it's not like I wasn't busy. It sucked, but once my last semester in high school started, it sorta felt like business as usual. I don't wanna bore you with all the logistics. I graduated. Wakka ended up getting a full ride to an out-of-state school. Tidus was scouted too. I got a shitty dorm with a with a shitty roommate I only spoke to maybe twice…"

"Your parents didn't let you stay with them?"

"It was an independence thing. They wanted me to try living on my own for a while. They helped pay for the dorm, but… yeah, sometimes I need less nudges and more shoves in the right direction. My parents forcing independence on me, not that I didn't hate it, was probably for the best. Now, here's the fun part-"

Riku raised a brow. "Uh oh."

"To quote some of the most breathtaking poetry of my generation," Sora cleared his throat. Riku waited with baited breath. "Ahem. Do you want to come to a party? My friends picked me up in their truck at eleven-thirty."

Riku threw his hands in the air, forfeiting his patience. "Okay. That's it. I'm done. Thanks so much for visiting, Sora. I'm glad we had this moment."

He moved to stand up but Sora wrapped his legs around Riku's and forced him to stay seated. "Don't be ignorant, Riku! The nineties happened to all of us, you have to face it!"

Riku gave up without much struggle and sat back down on the couch, their legs successfully tangled but neither in a hurry to move. He sighed heavily. "So there was a frat party?"

"Yes. But it was fine, it was one of those cool frat houses."

"Those things exist?"

"It was a real unicorn situation. I was reluctant but I followed anyway, but I never dreamed there would be someone who would catch my attention. I wasn't out searching for love or affection."

"Yeah I have a pretty good idea what you were out searching for, horndog."

Sora continued, but acknowledged Riku's comment with a soft nudge to the butt. "So I paid my three and the girls got in free. I turned down beer for tequila and we headed into the party. And then in the backyard there was this shitty ska band, probably university students, but actually they were playing in the den and-"

"You're going off-script."

"But I'm not kidding!" Sora insisted, sitting a little straighter. "It was like the straightest, whitest party I'd ever been to! It sucked. I had this idea that if I could find a dude there to mess around with that would win like… win the party or something. It was typically insane, like in the movies. Some dickhead in the background was doing a kegstand. That place was so lame, all the girls looked the same, all the guys had no game, god I wish I'd stayed in my bed back at home watching TV alone, where I'd put on some porn or have sex on the phone-"

"You're really good at this."

Sora just shrugged his shoulders in feigned humility and powered on. "-Far from people I hate down from anywhere state, trying to intoxicate girls to give them head after the party."

He stopped to take a breath, and reminence for a moment. The look in his eyes was so nostalgic and fond that Riku couldn't help but smile too. Sora's foot was near his hand and he pinched his pinky toe to get the boy's attention.

"And then you saw her standing there?" he asked softly.

Sora slid down the couch and peered at the ceiling, muttering, "With blue eyes and long red hair…"

"Was she wearing underwear?"

Sora looked down at Riku and smirked.

°o°

In the big picture there were probably a million other things Sora could be doing right now. College had recently started. He had an eight-AM class. He could be teaching his body how to go to sleep at a decent hour. He could have started the two hundred pages of required reading for a history quiz on Monday. Hell, he could have heard the words "party" and "frat house" in the same breath and knew this wasn't the place for him. Instead, he stood under a tree holding a red Solo cup that was more tequila than sunrise in the backyard of a huge repurposed, whitewashed Greek house.

He'd been an official student at Bastion University for almost an entire month. He wasn't exactly making friends and influencing people the way he'd hoped after leaving high school. Perhaps so much of his confidence back then came from being cohorts with Demyx his first two years. Now, at nineteen years old, he never felt more pathetic and alone. He frowned into his cup and took a nice, long gulp.

The shitty ska band was playing inside to help keep the noise violations to a minimum. The upstairs windows that opened to the back of the house were cracked open and smoke along with the stink of weed seeped down. Sora was busy debating if it was worth climbing upstairs and exploring a stranger's room to see if he could get a hit. The tequila was just making him grumpy and wanting to throw up.

Overall, he wasn't having much fun. The boy who invited him, some nerd from his anthropology class named Milo, immediately disappeared with his totally hot and completely out of his league girlfriend the moment Sora arrived. This whole situation wouldn't have been so terrible if Sora weren't so fucking horny all the time. If his libido could just chill for five seconds and acknowledge it's not in high school anymore maybe he could actually make a friend. It was so difficult when every boy was in an Abercrombie polo and all the girls were in the same tunic and leggings number and Sora was about screech.

"I know that look."

Sora almost dropped his cup.

It wasn't like the backyard was crawling with activity. Other than the keg being on the back porch, most of the action was going on inside. He turned around and saw her standing there.

"…I'm sorry?" Sora asked, and if anybody asks later, let the record show that his voice totally didn't break.

She was wearing denim shorts. Short shorts that were practically underwear, button fly, and a pink flannel shirt that almost covered the hem of her shorts. She wore sugar pink Docs to match, her red hair pulled back into a cute, athletic-looking ponytail. Dressed for summer. Sora nodded.

"That's the look of someone who's wondering what the fuck he's doing here." She had a red Solo cup of her own, and she brought it up to her lips to hide her clever smirk.

Sora was smitten.

He didn't know anything about her other than she wasn't wearing a tunic with leggings and her smile made a small dimple appear on her left cheek and he really wanted to kiss that dimple suddenly. It was probably his brain buzzing with alcohol that made everything she said sound like a muffled echo. He hated that he had to concentrate so hard.

"Yeah, yeah… this party is… not my usual scene."

She raised a thin eyebrow in surprise. "Really? You mean a bunch of Less Than Jake wannabes and five dollar dimebags isn't your scene? I'm shocked. Shocked."

"So I get the impression you're not hanging around for the brass section, huh?"

"A little brass never hurt a girl. That trombone player was cute."

There was that dimple again. Even Sora wasn't drunk enough to know she was laying it on pretty thick. He glanced at her cup. Almost empty.

"Hm. So how's the beer?"

"Piss water. How's the tequila?"

"Bottom shelf. Can I get you a refill?"

"Such a gentleman." She handed him her cup and they walked together to the deck where a hammered pledge filled it with what really did look like watered-down piss.

"You weren't lying," Sora mumbled, handing the cup back to her.

She took it gratefully and drank almost half of it at once. "Yeah, I was here with my fucking gorgeous TA from my linguistics class before she bailed on me to neck with her geeky-ass boyfriend."

"Ah, so we were both stood up?"

"You're stag, too?"

"Appears that way."

She gave him a long, examining look. It gave Sora a moment to really consider this girl, he didn't even know her name. She was staring at him as if she would contemplating saying goodnight or inviting him over. His heart started ricocheting around his ribcage, a faint fluttering in his stomach. She was really, really pretty and she was actually flirting with him. Sora couldn't believe his luck. And then his ricocheting heart plummeted when he really thought about it. He had no idea what to do with a girl.

"You wanna dance?"

Even though her cup was still half-full, she left it on the banister surrounding the deck along with dozens of other forgotten red cups. Sora put his down too, but not before chugging as much liquid courage his stomach would allow. He was going to regret this in about fifteen minutes; even so he followed the pretty girl into the hazy living room. The shitty ska band was still going strong, Sora guessed they probably had about a good half hour before the cops arrived and broke everyone up, and the girl stood in the doorway beckoning him with a nod of her head.

Sora followed. They stood beside each other and bobbed their heads to the beat. Maybe the band wasn't that shitty. Maybe you just had to be drunk enough and have the right partner. The girl grabbed his hand suddenly and pulled so they were facing each other. The Christmas lights strung around the living room seemed to bleed and Sora was really starting to feel that cupful of tequila now. While the world around him swirled into muddy colors, she stood at the center like a flaming red beacon guiding him home.

"You doing okay, Upchuck?" she asked, with a small grin. "I know where the bathroom is if you need a pitstop."

"No, nah, I'm fine," Sora muttered. He'd been drunk enough to know what vomit-drunk felt like. This wasn't it. Close, but not quite. This was something different. It reminded him of when he first made eye contact with Phillip in the Bastion High cafeteria. Of how Rapunzel would smile at him like every little thing she spoke to him was a treasured secret. Like when Flynn pinned him down on Demyx's bed and kissed him. Like when Demyx asked him to dance outside of their old high school's gymnasium on prom night. "You're… really pretty."

The confession was sudden, Sora could tell that it was probably a mistake, but she broke eye contact and smiled softly just the same. "…Yeah?" She brushed her long bangs, slightly sweaty from the humid late-summer heat, behind her ear and she was really, really pretty and apparently Sora made her run out of smartalec things to say. "Thanks."

They stood facing each other, possibly for a long enough time for it to be considered awkward but Sora was too buzzed and content with admiring how the twinkle lights played with the highlights of her hair to notice. She looked up at him after a moment, the lights now dotting her eyes and looking so much like the cosmos it nearly left Sora adrift, and nodded towards the other side of the house.

"You wanna…" she stopped herself by laughing, nervously dropping her forehead to rest on Sora's chest, and his insides melted.

"Do I wanna…?" He could barely stand up right now, he wasn't entirely convinced he could do much more than stare at her and breathe. Even that was proving to be a challenge.

She stopped laughing for one moment and heaved a deep, hopefully calming, breath. "Okay, I normally don't do this-"

"But?"

"-but I think you're really, really cute and you danced to shitty ska music with me and do you wanna maybe-"

"Yes."

"-make… out?"

"Yes. More than anything."

Sora tried to ignore the part of his brain that told him he'd never actually kissed a girl before. They always seemed so soft. What if Sora tried to kiss her the way he kissed Flynn or Phillip and she fell apart like tissue paper?

She hugged his arm, Sora tried not to faint as she squished it between her breasts, and guided him towards a more secluded wing of the bottom floor. There was an empty hall that led to a dining room where she parked herself with her back against a wall and looked up at Sora expectantly.

And herein laid the problem. Sora was a boy. He had only ever kissed boys. Kissing boys was easy because he applied what he wanted from a kiss into practice, but what on Earth did girls like about kissing? Would tongue be too much? Biting? What if he slobbered too much and she laughed at him and walked away? His alcohol-addled mind told him to go for it, dude! and his anxiety creeping up on its coattails told him to make sure she takes the lead. While he panicked, his mouth clenched into a hesitant pucker as her right eyebrow rose higher and higher into her bangs.

"Have you… done this before?" she asked, blessedly softly.

"Of course!" Sora replied, maybe with a bit more force than necessary. He shrugged his shoulders and made eye contact with the worn out rug placed over antique hardwood floors. That was a bad idea. Moving his head just made him more dizzy. "Just… not with a girl…"

Sora hadn't realized that her hands were on his waist until she grasped the fabric on his shirt into tiny fists and buried her face into his chest, letting out a bark of laughter. "You're kidding!" she hiccupped. "Please tell me you're joking!" She pulled away to look up at Sora with a gigantic grin and watering eyes.

As much as Sora wanted to blame the cup and a half of piss water he watched her drink, he thought this reaction was a little too much. He didn't really need her judgement and backed away from the wall. "Yeah, well, I'm sorry if I-"

"No no no!" she said, giggling and pulling back on his shirt until Sora stumbled closer. "I mean, I'm the same!" She couldn't stop gasping for air. "I have experience, just… not with boys. This is terrifying, for me. I mean, do you want this?"

"Yeah, of course," Sora said, the weight of fear for being inadequate suddenly lifted from his shoulders. In the dizzying fog of his mind, it felt right to tack on, "You're really, really pretty." The black clouds in his periphery were closing in. This was bad, but his brain wasn't recognizing it as bad. He just hoped he didn't embarrass himself.

She leaned closer, on the balls of her feet, and Sora realized he'd never kissed someone shorter than him before.

oooOOOooo

It was a over three whole entire days since that party and Sora was still thinking about it. There's was only bits and pieces. He remembered meeting this amazing girl, remembered dancing to dumb ska music with her, then the tequila started to hit and it was fuzzy after that. They definitely kissed, at least he thought they did because he remembered being in a hallway with her leaning into his chest and laughing. That was a good sign, right? Girls like boys with a sense of humor, right? He nervously tapped his pen on the edge of his small desk.

He had woken up the following morning in Milo's apartment. He was certain nothing must've happened besides making out because his clothes were still attached to his body and the pink lipstick stains were relegated to his upper half. There were some pretty fantastic hickeys on his neck, though. They somehow made it out of the party before campus security arrived to break the party up. The morning after, he only threw up two times in the nerd's bathroom before feeling up to heading home, breakfast taco in hand, and vomiting once more in the privacy of the public dorm bathrooms for good measure.

Now he was sitting in his freshman-level literature class on Monday, blissfully not copying down notes for his final paper in an auditorium filled with other like-minded peers. Class had been barrelling through at millimeters per hour before one of the outside doors on the side opened. A ray of blissful sunlight shot out into the windowless dungeon of an auditorium from the small crevice that a tardy student snuck through. The professor ignored her and continued talking as if the interruption never happened.

If Sora wasn't paying attention to the lecture now, there was no hope for him at all once he realized that the student sneaking into class was the girl he had been daydreaming about just moments ago.

At least, he was fairly certain. That was a lot of tequila and the frat house was kind of dimly lit and she was currently standing several meters away so he couldn't make out her face exactly but he was confident enough that it was her that he raised his hand and waved at her to get her attention.

She noticed him and gave him a blank stare. Not wanting to stand around gawking and interrupting class more than she already had, she started climbing up the stairs and shimmying down the aisle Sora was sitting.

"…Hey," she whispered, once she was close enough. Sora moved his backpack aside so she had room for her things. "Fancy meeting you here…"

"Yeah, you have this class too? I had no idea." It was a big enough class that it was reasonable that they didn't remember each other at the party. Sora usually sat in the same spot every day and either kept his eyes forward on the professor's slideshow for quietly napping behind his laptop.

Apparently they were talking too much when the professor cleared her throat loudly and gave them a look before explaining something in more detail from her slideshow.

"Do you think she'd hate is if we bailed?" the girl whispered with a crooked smirk.

Five minutes and a murderous glance from the TA later found them at the coffee pagoda in the courtyard outside of the Lit building.

She bought herself an iced coffee and Sora a caramel mocha frappuccino with whipped cream. She balked when the barista asked him if he wanted complimentary chocolate sprinkles and he answered back "Obviously."

"You're killing me. You're killing you. Is that for real?" she asked, looking at the drink. "I thought that sort of thing only existed in those TV shows that get backed by Starbucks."

"Just because you refuse to live a little doesn't stop me from living my life to the fullest." Sora made a point by taking a huge bite out of the whipped cream like it where an ice cream cone.

She gave the boy a prying stare before deciding that he was set in his ways and changed the topic. "So. We share the same Lit class. What other classes are you taking? What's your year? Major?"

Sora sighed loudly. "Freshman. Undeclared."

She laughed. "Same. I'm just taking a few random courses to see what works with me. I'm having fun in my linguistics class, though."

He hummed as he sipped his coffee through the straw. "Mhmm. And not because of your TA?"

"Ah, so you remember something from this weekend. Then you must remember what happened in the upstairs bathroom."

Sora froze.

"I- Nothing horrible? Right?" He didn't even remember going upstairs.

"Oh, no. Nothing horrible at all. But maybe next time when someone offers you literally twelve ounces of tequila with a splash of orange juice you should pace yourself and not vomit down the cute girl's shirt."

"I didn't."

"You kept crying and telling me how sorry you were. It was really gross but really cute."

She was giving Sora a look. It made his hands cold and clammy and he knew it wasn't the iced coffee's fault. Suddenly it struck him that he had never kissed a girl before and he had never really thought about the steps beyond that. They kissed. They kissed. She called him cute. Nobody's ever called him cute before.

"I'm gay," he blurted.

Her chin shrunk into her neck as she balked her head back in surprise. The look lasted only a second before she rolled her eyes. "Yeah. So am I." She took a sip from her coffee and gave him a piercing look. "…You know, it was my first time, too. I hadn't… really…" Her cheeks tinted as she turned her head to the side. "Anyway. I think you're cool. You've got a cute face. If you don't want to, I totally get it, but if you want, we can…"

If she could finish a sentence, that would be great, because it sounded an awful like she was asking him out on a date, or at worst making out in whoever's dorm was closest. Either way, there was a crucial piece of information he needed before taking the next step. He took a step ahead and turned to face her directly.

"Sora Strife." He switched his coffee to his left hand and wiped his palm on his jeans before stretching his hand out in front of her.

She smiled. Her dimple was really, really pretty in the late morning sun.

"Kairi Gibson."

oooOOOooo

Without going into too many details, sex with a girl was awesome. It was also the single most embarrassing and excruciating experience of Sora's relatively short life. Comparing to the sex he had with Phillip on a good day was like comparing apples to oranges, but it left him reeling and skittish in the same way. He had heard Wakka say something once that the last thing he'd ever want a girl to do in the bedroom was laugh at him, but Kairi laughed until she hiccupped and when she did she was beautiful, and it made Sora laugh too. It was terrible but it was fun. And that was just the first time.

Each time seemed to get better. It was a week after they learned each other's names and already they were regular fixtures in each other's dorm rooms. They'd meet up to study, and maybe that would last about fifteen minutes before that gave way to necking, which drifted into fucking, which faded into cuddling together under the sheets of the twin bed and watching whatever was on the crappy university cable access channel.

It wasn't exactly passionate but it was a regular release and besides the sex being good in general, Kairi was nice and genuinely seemed to enjoy Sora's company. It was an oddly exhilarating concept for something so ordinary.

"I need a haircut," she said one Saturday afternoon. The television was on while Sora busied himself tinkering with an essay while Kairi was hanging out between classes. Sora glanced to the television, where a commercial played featuring a fit woman advertising running shoes. Her hair was shaved on the sides in a super edgy style.

"Like that one?" The ad slowly panned up her long, toned legs and thighs. Sora blushed and turned away.

The motion didn't escape Kairi. "Do you think she's pretty?" she asked, small smirk playing on the corner of her lips. "Am I too doughy for you?"

Sora gave her a look. "No. You're fine."

"Just fine?" She raised a brow, crawling across the bed towards Sora's desk at the foot of it. "Would I be better with a mohawk? Like the girl in the commercial?"

Sora looked back towards the television. The ad had changed to a lawyer firm commercial with a dusty old man in an oversized suit reading from cue cards. "Kairi. You're fine the way you are. I like your hair long, and…" he leaned forward, tucking her long bangs behind her ear, "I love your flabby ass, too."

Cheeks stained bright red, she stared at him for a moment before placing her hand on the back of his laptop. "Will anything terrible happen if I shut this right now?"

"Uh…" Sora reached for the keypad, hitting command-S like lightning. "Okay."

She snapped the laptop closed and pulled Sora by the collar of his shirt into the bed. The textbook in his lap fell to the floor, forgotten. Once he had her successfully pinned to the bed and his hand sneaking up the inside of her shorts, she whispered in his ear, "Say it again?" He didn't respond, but looked in her eyes questioningly. "Say I don't have to change."

Even Sora wasn't horny enough to acknowledge this was probably indicative of a bigger issue, but killing the mood to talk about it would probably make her close up more. Besides, it was the honest truth. Sora liked that she smiled freely, liked that she dressed the way she wanted to, liked that she was brutally honest with him.

"I love you the way you are," he stated evenly, leaning down to kiss her on the corner of her lips, then again on her temple, and on her neck.

He could feel her smile pressed against his scalp as she nuzzled his hair and laughed. Before he could ask what was so funny, she grabbed hold of his shoulders and roughly flipped them around. Somehow they managed a full 180 without either of them falling off the small bed.

"When does your roommate get back?"

Sora laid bewildered on his back. "Uh… he's gone to his parent's for the weekend."

The smile on her face was nothing short of frightening. She started taking off her tee shirt. "Good."

oooOOOooo

Kairi stayed the night and went home Sunday afternoon. They kissed for almost ten minutes in the doorway before she finally had to leave, because she had homework too and she wouldn't get it done if they spent one more second together. He still had an essay to work on so he plopped back in his chair and got to work. His drive lasted all of fifteen minutes before his cell buzzed on his desk. It was from Roxas.

"Yo!" Sora said when he picked up. It wasn't everyday he received a call from his baby brother.

"Hey," Roxas responded, sounding a little quiet even if it was through the phone line. Skipping the formalities, he cut right to the chase. "So… I met a girl."

Sora definitely wasn't expecting this. "Oh?" He paused to think about it for a moment. "Where? Like at school? Like in a kissy-huggy way?" Sora gasped. "Do we need have a talk?!"

"No!" Roxas cried. "And- yeah, I kinda like…" He paused to clear his throat. "She just, uh… started school here this year. Her parents moved into town over the summer."

"And you like her," Sora drawled with a teasing lilt at the end. He could feel his brother's radiating blush from miles away.

"I didn't really know who to go to. Hayner and Pence are clueless, she and Olette are chummy so if I tell Olette about it, she would tell the school, and I don't trust any of my other classmates…"

"What? You want, like, dating advice? Wooing advice?" It felt ridiculous, and a part of Sora felt incredibly proud, that he was able to hide his relationships with boys so well that his brother was coming to him with girl trouble. Although, at least now he had the experience to help, even if Kairi was the only girl he had ever been with. "What's she like?"

"She seems really fun? We have a couple classes together, and she's already making friends. She's really friendly, and she smiles a lot. She's really good at art. Apparently in her old city she won some awards? But she's so modest! It's crazy, she paints people that look like actual people and she keeps saying she can do better, which is insane. I don't think she realizes how good she is. I saw her at the mall last weekend and she let me have a sip of her smoothie at the food court. What does that even mean?!"

It was taking all of Sora to not laugh at his brother. "Uh. I think it means she either likes you or is just really, really nice?"

"You're not helping!"

"Well, you know, most people don't share their food with people they're not interested in, so at least there's interest? And maybe you can use that interest to talk to her? Compliment her art, maybe find something you guys have in common to talk about? Find her at her locker after school someday and just chat." Courting seemed so much simpler when you didn't have to run behind people's backs and schedule meetup times in private. Sora was almost jealous.

"She's so popular, though! Mysterious new girl with amazing talent… It's hard to find a moment when she's not surrounded by other people."

"Yeah, I know, it's embarrassing and it sucks. You said you shared some classes with her? Maybe you can give her your email address or phone number. Say you need to borrow her notes or something and go from there." This was honestly incredibly adorable. Sora had never heard his brother sound so smitten before.

"That's actually not terrible advice. I'm surprised."

"Hey, shut up. I'm helping."

"You are, you are. I… appreciate it."

"…Oh my god. This is like the worst thing for you, isn't it?" he guffawed. "Thanking me?" Roxas said it wasn't, but it also wasn't in the younger boy's nature to ask for help like this, so Sora realized how difficult it must have been to make the call. "Do I at least get to know the name of the girl who stole my brother's heart?"

"Naminé," Roxas answered. Nice name. "Naminé Gibson."

Sora paused for a moment. Gibson. It could be a coincidence, it wasn't like it was an uncommon name at all, or perhaps the world really was that small. "Does she have a sister?"

Roxas made a couple failed starts to his answer before he finally replied. "…You know, I don't know? She mentioned that her mom's work relocated the family to the area. She didn't mention any siblings, though. Why?"

"Nah, I just know a girl-" (biblically) "-with the same last name. I was just…" Curious. He was just curious. But to someone he basically said I Love You to yesterday it seemed like a pretty grievous error that he didn't know if she had any siblings or not. Looking back, he probably knew more about Flynn before they had sex than he knew about Kairi. It was hard to tell if this was an ignorance-is-bliss situation and he should feel ashamed, or if knowing every intimate detail about a person before sex was really necessary to have a fulfilling relationship. He tapped his fingers on the desk before his brother pulled him out of it.

"Sora? You there?"

"Yeah. Can I call you back?"

"You don't have to. Thanks for the help, though. I mean it."

The call ended, and Sora kept his phone open and stared at the screen for a moment. Kairi said she was going to be busy studying all afternoon, and honestly this is something that could probably wait until their lit class tomorrow morning when they don't pay attention to the lecture while messaging each other back and forth on their laptops.

In the middle of debating whether or not he should call, his phone buzzed in his hand with Kairi's name flashing across the screen. Without even waiting for a Hello, she was already shouting.

"YOUR BROTHER AND MY SISTER ARE IN LOVE!" she screeched, then started cackling.

"Wait- what?"

"My sister called and was all like," she started doing what Sora surmised was her best impersonation of her sister, speaking in a high-pitched nasally voice, "'There's this boy in my class who won't stop looking at me but he's kinda cute I don't know what to do.' Like I'm some sort of boy expert!"

Now Sora was laughing too. This was unreal. "But how-?"

"She described him as a boy with birds-nest spiky hair and super-blue eyes. Last name Strife. There are only so many Strifes on this planet, Upchuck."

Sora was suddenly struck with the need to sit down. At some point during the call he was so shocked he stood up and had started pacing around the small space. "So… you have a sister?"

"I have a little horror that's the bane of my existence which my parents try to convince me is my sister, yes," Kairi corrected. "I'm joking. I love her. But seriously."

Sora laughed. "Roxas tells me she's a transfer student. Did your parents move nearby?"

He could practically see Kairi waving her head from side to side. "Eh, a little over a half hour away, I guess. Still within Bastion High's district. I had already planned on going Bastion U, dorm deposit paid for and everything, before my mom got transferred. I just sorta lucked out that way, I guess." The deadpan delivery made it seem like she wasn't sure.

"Really? That's not your lucky voice."

"Ha! Well, I mean, we lived far away, at first, so I was looking forward to being away from my family. My parents can be… strict."

Sora thought about it for a second. While his parents were just, they were very fair, especially for all the shit he got into in high school. "Yeah, sorry, my parents were pretty chill. As long as I got good grades and called to check in they didn't mind."

"Augh! Now there's lucky. I love my parents. I love them to death. Which is why I'm the only one who's allowed to say this: they're fucking awful." Sora nearly cackled. "I'm not even kidding. God, it sucks so much they live close by. At least I have the dorms. They don't have to know about Alice, or Kida, or… well, you'd probably be safe, for them."

It took Sora a moment to get it. "Wait. Alice? Who's Kida?" He had heard of Alice. He thought he remembered seeing a girl standing near Kairi, looking at them oddly, at the party and maybe once after, around Kairi's dorm. Pretty girl, very petite with blonde hair, usually pulled back with a headband or bow.

"Alice is one of my girlfriends. Kida's the TA I'm trying to woo, if it weren't for her boyfriend getting in the way. I'm close, I think." There was a long silence where Sora tried not to panic. She never mentioned having a GIRLFRIEND. Let alone that she was apparently aggressively hitting on her TA. "Sora? Are you still there?"

"I… I'm here. I just… didn't know you had a girlfriend."

"We live together."

"She's never there when I come over! …And I thought your dorm was a single there's no–" Sora slapped himself on the face. Her dorm had only one bed. Which meant they slept together. "Holy shit, I'm an idiot."

"I mean… it's nothing serious, we met during orientation earlier in the summer and really hit it off. Texted each other and started dating online, and when we got to school we started something physical. It's only been going on a couple months. And she's cool with it, free love and all that."

"So… what does that make us, then?"

Sora didn't want to have to conversation. Especially over the phone. They hadn't sat down and had The Talk yet, about whether they were boyfriend/girlfriend and all that it implied, but Sora had just sort of assumed. She never mentioned Alice outside a roommate role, Sora was fairly sure. Obviously, this meant that Kairi wasn't as invested in their relationship as Sora was, which sucked. A lot. But it was important not to get too broken hearted over this.

Kairi sighed heavily and Sora could tell she was standing up now, too. "Well. It makes us. Um. I mean… You're really gonna make me say it, huh?"

This was it. The big breakup. Sora clenched his eyes and stood completely still. "I guess so."

"Sora Strife. Will you be my boyfriend?"

Sora opened his eyes, waiting to see if this was some sort of elaborate prank. It didn't sound like she was holding in her laughter on the other end of the line. In fact, now that they stopped talking completely for a minute, it sounded like she was around lots of other people.

"That'll be $10.81," a man's voice said in the distance. He heard Kairi hum in response, "Keep the change."

"Where are you right now?"

"The convenience store."

Was he allowed to be offended that Kairi had just confessed to him over a phone call in line at a convenience store? He still had so many questions, but it seemed like she picked up on his hesitancy when he dodged her question.

"It's okay to say no, y'know?" she said. "I realize it's a thing not many people deal with."

"It's not that, it's just… you should've told me you were having sex with someone else. What if…" It hadn't really occurred to Sora that this is something that could happen to him, but what if someone had an STD. He wasn't paying close enough attention to his state-mandated abstinence-only health seminar when he was in high school to know what STDs even looked like on girls. Kairi seemed… healthy, but a lot of that stuff could be hidden.

"Oh, I don't have sex with Alice, I only have sex with you. If that makes you feel better."

"Huh? But you said the relationship was physical…"

"Well, in that we hug and hold hands and sometimes kiss, rather than being online girlfriends. Alice is asexual, she doesn't do 'stuff' like that. I tried some hanky panky with her once but she'll only let me go so far as a boob squeeze. We had a nice heart-to-heart about it after the party and she said it's cool if I ask you out."

"Asexual."

"Yeah. I mean, she's a romantic asexual, she loves me a lot, but she has her limits and I honor them. She's comfortable with sharing me, I've got lots of love to give."

All of Sora's thoughts suddenly peeled back to summer two years ago, and everything that happened during prom. The way Demyx still loved him and wanted to be around him, even though he shunned away from the physical touch. It left Sora wondering… what if… they had just talked about it earlier. Maybe their relationship wouldn't have ended the way it did.

He wasn't completely certain he was ready for that kind of relationship. Although, he was in college and he was supposed to concentrating on his studies. Maybe… this could work, it a really odd and unexpected way. Like Alice could have Kairi on the weekdays and Sora on the weekends.

You shouldn't talk about your potential girlfriend like a pet you share with an ex, a voice in the back of his mind nagged. But- she said she's comfortable with it, so where's the harm?

"Are you done internal monologuing?" she asked.

"I wasn't-"

She let out a loud giggle that echoed strangely. "I knew it! You totally were!"

There were two loud knocks on the thick wooden door of his room. Sora lowered his phone and heard Kairi call out, plain as day, "Open the door, loser. I know you're in there."

He snapped his phone shut and opened the door, and was greeted to a bouquet of fresh daisies, wrapped in paper emblazoned with the campus' convenience store logo.

"Sora Nathaniel Strife-"

"That's not m-"

"-Will you be my boyfriend? For real?"

She lowered the bouquet slightly and let Sora see her very bashful and sincere smile, dimple and all. He took the bouquet in his hands, staring down the sunny, happy flowers. Flowers were something he never thought he would have to deal with in his life, having always considered himself a gay man throughout high school. Men usually don't receive flowers, but he found himself touched by the gesture and turned around to find a cup for them, leaving the door open for Kairi.

"I do really like you," she said. "And I know you really like me, too. If there's a way I can convince you…"

It wasn't entirely like Sora needed convincing, rather… he never experienced someone being so infatuated with him like this before. Now that it had been over a year since his last seriously committed relationship, such as it was, he found himself realizing some things that he wished were as painfully obvious when he was younger as they were now. Flynn didn't love him. Probably didn't even like him. Phillip was just using him as some sort of stress relief to take the place of Aurora. But Kairi… she really liked him. If Sora could see himself with her five or ten years down the line, he had little doubt that her feelings weren't genuine. It made him blush.

There was blessedly little Kairi had to do to convince Sora that, yeah, he did really like her too.

"You don't have to do anything, but… I am your boyfriend, right? Not Alice's?"

Kairi stepped inside the dorm room fully, letting the door shut behind her. "If you doubt me, I understand. You don't have to do anything you don't want to do. Alice is okay with me being your girlfriend, but she doesn't want to be your boyfriend. This isn't a… threesome thing. You'll have a girlfriend, and I'll have a girlfriend and boyfriend." Sora nodded his head, following what she was saying and trying to keep an open mind. "Whenever you have questions, we'll talk about it. You've been an open, honest person since we've met. I want to be able to do more things with you… If you want to…"

"I think… it'll take some work," Sora said. Seeing Kairi's face slowly start to light up was giving him palpitations. "B-But I also think it's worth it. I'll be your boyfriend, Kai."

Kairi squealed, jumping into Sora's already open arms because he anticipated this response. She kissed him deeply and wrapped her legs around his waist. The weight was getting to be too much, and his dorm room door opened just as he fell back onto his bed.

"Ugh seriously? I GAVE YOU ALL WEEKEND."

Sora gave him an apologetic look over Kairi's shoulder to his poor, long-suffering roommate as he all but hurled his dufflebag of clean laundry onto his bed on the opposite side of the room. Without another word he left, slamming the door behind him.

"He's kinda got a point, though," Sora muttered, pulling on Kairi's body to peel her off his neck. "We had sex twice already today. I do need to finish my paper."

"We are not consummating this relationship by doing homework, you colossal nerd," she said, a unique mix of enamored and annoyed. She sat balanced on his knees so they weren't directly rubbing against each other anymore, and Sora was already missing the contact. "But, I see what you mean."

"How about… a nice dinner?"

"If it's in the cafeteria again I'm breaking up with you."

They ended up eating at the fast food joint across the street from the cafeteria. Kairi leaned on Sora's side and opened her mouth as he fed her chicken nuggets. She let him eat her french fries. It was perfect.

oooOOOooo

Other than their first cursory meetings being he learned she was Kairi's girlfriend, Sora had never been in the same room with Alice long enough to hold a conversation. She seemed like a nice enough girl. Smaller than he remembered, on the few instances when they stood near each other, a little plump around the thighs, vacant blue eyes… Kairi had once described her as a 'daydreamer,' and she definitely looked the part. She spoke in the lilted, far-off voice that made it seem like she was a million miles away from everyone else.

And maybe she was, because Sora also learned that Alice had a collection of hallucinogenic mushrooms that she kept in a baggie in the small fridge in their dorm room. Kairi had mentioned she'd tried it once but didn't enjoy it, preferring alcohol and party drugs that wore off when the night was over.

"Do you want to try it sometime?" Alice asked him during his first visit to Kairi's dorm. He was there to pick Kairi up for a date, but one of her discussion groups ran long so she was running late. He could have, should have, just waited outside instead of trying to maintain a normal conversation with Kairi's girlfriend. Sora tried to keep an open mind, but it left him confused that Alice was okay with all this. Yet, here she was, stretching out a figurative olive branch. Or a chopped up shroom.

"I- uh… Sometime. Later? Maybe?" he asked, unsure of what to say, unsure of how to act. Was Alice on mushrooms now? Sora didn't know anything about them. It wasn't a drug he saw at any of the parties he went to in high school, and Demyx never mentioned anything about them.

Alice just smiled warmly in response. She allowed Sora to wait in their room, door propped open with one of Kairi's notebook binders, while she sat at the desk and patiently worked on her homework assignments. "Did you have a good day in classes?" she asked suddenly.

Sora felt caught off guard. "Oh! Yes! And… uh, you?"

She glanced up at the cork board above the desk, deep in thought for a relatively simple question. "It was a curious sort of day," she finally replied, whatever the hell that meant. "It all seems a bit maddening, don't you think?"

There wasn't much for Sora to do but to go along with it. "Mad? How?"

"Well, we all have to be a little bit mad to carry on in this situation," she said, turning around in her rolly chair to face Sora fully. Her eyes were half-lidded, incredibly distant, definitely not sober. "You know Kairi isn't really running late, right?"

"…Wait, what?"

"Her class ends at five-fifteen."

"Oh," Sora mumbled, check his phone. It was nearing ten-fifteen now. "I thought it ended at five."

"A little white lie. I hope you won't get too mad at her because of it, she just wanted us to get to know each other better. She thought that if she were around you'd get too nervous and focus only on her."

Sora frowned, not really out of anger, just upset that he was left out of the plan. If Kairi wanted Sora to get to know Alice better, she could have just asked. "And she told you this?"

Alice shook her head, a small, cute smile on her lips. The kind of grin that made it seem like she thought herself to be very clever. It was sort of endearing. Alice wasn't really Sora's type, a bit too much of an airhead, but he could appreciate her charm. "I just know Kairi. I can tell she really likes you."

He nervously fidgeted on Kairi's bed, not sure what to do with his hands. He ended up awkwardly tucking them under his thighs. "And does it bother you? Me being with her?"

"I don't think Kairi really belongs to anybody, me or you. I like what we have going, and she obviously likes what you have going. I don't like sex, so I want her to get it from someone who makes her happy." The confident grin fell from her face in a moment of scrutiny. "I can trust you to keep her happy, right?"

Sora felt like he was under interrogation. "Of course!" he responded.

The smile returned, a hint more disheartened than before, as she looked towards the carpet laid across the linoleum tiles. "That's what worries me," she replied, deep in thought.

Sora knows this all too well. Wanting to make someone close to you love you, but not having the means to make it physically possible. In the end, someone always ends up getting irreparably hurt. "…You know, and I'm sorry if this isn't my place, but-" Sora shifted on the bed so he was leaning forward, readily making eye contact with Alice when she shifted her gaze his way. "-I know Kairi really likes you. Whatever happens will happen, but you make her smile. She cares about you and wants you to be happy just as much as I want Kairi to be happy."

Alice broke away and laughed hesitantly towards her textbook. "Now I really see why Kairi likes you…"

The silence between them was short lived before the sound of running filled the carpeted hallway and Kairi soon appeared in the room, panting loudly.

"I am so sorry I'm late," she said, nervous smile plastered across her face. She knew they knew she was full of shit. Everyone decided to go along with it as she walked into the room, dropped her bag by the desk, and gave Alice a quick kiss to the side of the head. "Have a good day?" she asked her softly. "How was chem?"

"Still not understanding this reaction," Alice responded. They muttered back and forth about labs and office hours and extra credit. It didn't sound like the kind of thing Sora should be eavesdropping on, even though it was all fairly innocuous. The conversation seemed to wrap up and Kairi squeezed her shoulder tightly.

"Well, keep at it. Can I bring you anything?"

"Ice cream would be nice," she answered with a grin. Kairi chuckled softly and bent down to kiss her, this time on the lips. Sora tried really hard to focus on a campus community newsletter hanging onto the small fridge with a series of magnetic poetry.

trying to live a life

always going to quit

Very deep stuff. He wondered in it was Kairi or Alice who arranged it. Before he could put much more thought into it, Kairi appeared in his line of sight. "Ready to go?"

She at least waited until they were out of the building before she started asking how it went.

"Alice seems… nice."

"You don't like her."

"I didn't say that," Sore responded quickly. "She's perfect for you, but she's not for me."

Kairi appeared to take his answer to heart. "It's odd," she sighed, reaching for his hand. Without hesitation, Sora laced their fingers together and their hands swing pleasantly between them. "…That two people who feel so perfect for me could be so different."

It was the first time she had ever complimented them, Sora and Kairi, as a couple. Sora couldn't fight the grin stretching across his cheeks. Kairi's opinion of them seemed to set the tone for the rest of the date, Perfect.

oooOOOooo

Maybe three weeks after they became Official, Sora was walking between classes on a Thursday afternoon when he got a phone call from his mom.

"Hi sweetie! I just wanted to check in! See how you're settling in…"

He hadn't been coming home as often as he thought he would, what with his parents living in town. He wasn't even calling them much. He was a horrible son, but his mom seemed genuinely excited than annoyed.

"Things are good. Classes are fine. I haven't really gotten many grades back so I'm not sure how I'm doing yet but… it's not as difficult as I thought it was going to be, I guess."

"Been to any wild parties yet?" She was joking. If she only knew.

"Haha, well… I've been sociable once or twice since getting here, if that's what you're getting at." The courtyard surrounding the group of buildings that made up the literature department was littered with large oak trees, along with dozens of students resting or studying in the shade. He still had a few minutes before he needed to rush, so he took a break to lean against the trunks of one of the trees.

"I hope you're having fun. I know you're a good student, but it's important to balance the hard work with a break every once in awhile."

Sora tried not to laugh. "I will."

"Have you made any friends yet? How's your roommate? You haven't mentioned him much."

"Roommate's fine. Almost never around and kind of annoying when he is, but it wouldn't be the complete experience if he wasn't. I'm sure I'm annoying him with…" He slowed to a stop when he realized he'd never mentioned it to his family yet. "Oh. I have a girlfriend?"

His mom seemed speechless. A syllable or two escaped her throat for about five seconds before she was about to say anything. "…Is that a statement or a question?"

"A statement?"

"Sora."

"Sorry! It's- it's a statement! I got a girlfriend! She's actually, uh…" He wanted to mention her sister but also didn't want to shoot his brother in the foot in case he hadn't had a chance to ask her out on a date yet. He hadn't heard from him or Kairi if anybody had made a move. "…She's really cool. I like her a lot."

God he was blushing. It was true, though. It was weird experience dating someone where there wasn't months of will-they-won't-they build up. It made things less stressful and a little more exciting. Every day he spent with Kairi he learned something new about her, and she learned something about him, and it created this amalgam of feelings that Sora didn't really know how to parse. Not just yet.

"Honestly, I'm a little surprised, but I'm happy for you! What's her name?"

Sora spilled the beans. Her name is Kairi, and she rocks. They met at a… campus gathering and they had the same bad taste in music. She has a really pretty smile. They like eating chicken nuggets together. She comes over and they study together a lot. When she laughs at his jokes she does this snorting thing that he likes. He didn't mention this to his mom, but Kairi also sometimes does this thing where she digs her fingers into his nest of hair, and her nails are always grown out a little bit, and she'll scratch his scalp all over and it makes his toes melt.

"She sounds delightful. Maybe we'll meet her someday?"

Sora laughed hesitantly. "Sure… Maybe."

oooOOOooo

As long as Sora or his roommate were in the room, unless it was during their pre-agreed upon Private Hours as designated by a rubber band placed on the door handle, their bedroom door remained unlocked. By the end of the semester, Kairi hadn't even bothered knocking anymore when she came to visit.

"I don't think you've moved since the last time I saw you," she said, throwing her backpack on the floor and plopping on Sora's bed. She had left three hours ago for classes and was just now making it back.

"Untrue. I got up to use the restroom," he paused to check the clock in the upper corning on his laptop monitor, "two hours ago. Kairi save me. I can't handle another slideshow about quadratic formulas. Why do you even need more than one slideshow about quadratic formulas?" He sounded like he was about to cry.

"I can't save you now, but I have a proposition," she said, with a pleasant lilt. Sora nodded his head up, the look in his eyes were those of a desperate man.

"How do you feel about meeting my parents during break?"

Sora hesitated. He honestly hadn't exactly considered it, because in the past it wasn't something to consider. Flynn wasn't exactly the meet-the-parents type and Phillip was hardcore secretive. But he and Kairi were girlfriend and boyfriend now. Their sex, while fun, had fallen into a pleasurable sense of routine. He was happy in his little collegiate bubble. Sometimes he forgot Kairi had parents and a sister, the same way he often forgot to call his parents and Roxas to check up on them. It was too easy to get swept up in the bustle of classes and social life.

"Monologuing," Kairi prodded after a moment. She seemed a little upset. Sora tried to backpedal.

"No! No, I mean I'm all for it, yeah! Sorry, just… math. It's driving me crazy." He closed his laptop and placed it on his desk. "You said they lived in town, right?"

"Yeah! I thought maybe you could celebrate Christmas with your family in the morning and then come by my house and hang out with us? We're going to have a big dinner."

Sora pulled his eyes to the ceiling in thought. His family had a tendency to make a bigger deal on Christmas Eve, and Christmas afternoons and evenings were pretty dull. He couldn't see why not.

He agreed, and later called his parents to let him know. He had shown them a picture of Kairi from his phone when he stopped by to visit for Thanksgiving. Roxas hadn't asked Naminé out yet, citing school work and choir rehearsals keeping him busy as the reasons why. He didn't have any pictures of her, but he looked at Kairi and murmured that the resemblance was definitely related.

"Ooh, meeting the girlfriend's parents on a major holiday. When's the wedding?" Roxas joked over the phone when Sora had called to discuss his plans. Of course, his little brother was joking. Sora had only known Kairi for three months. It would be ridiculous.

But still.

It was a thought he never allowed himself to imagine. Marriage. Spending the rest of his life with one person was something he humored, of course. Whenever he imagined himself twenty or thirty years older, he was always accompanied by a vague, wisp of smoke that was his future spouse. Always present, but never a specific shape.

Sharing a bed with Kairi was a nice thought. A real bed and not a dorm bed. They would live in a house, maybe two stories, with lots of windows that faced the sunrise. He'd wake up first and make coffee. They would play videogames together until the early morning on weekends. They would would get into fights but always kiss and make up before sleep. It seemed crazy that the first step towards this eventual goal was only a few weeks away.

That daydream was what kept him afloat during finals. No matter how bad he was suffocated under sleepless all-nighters and questions that weren't covered in review packets, coming back to Kairi at the end of every day made him feel like he had something worth living for where school always seemed to let him down. They shared a room in silence while reading textbooks, they held hands in silence when the only thing Sora wanted to do was not think for a moment, and she even surprised him by meeting him outside of his maths final with a smile and kiss on the cheek.

"We're done!" she said happily. She had a brutal eight-AM final that morning, but as of this afternoon, they were free and clear until next semester.

The dorms closed in a couple days. With no RAs or custodians on duty, students had to find lodging until they opened again after the holidays. Most just went home. Sora's roommate finished his finals a day prior so his room was blessedly empty. He and Kairi celebrated most of the night between the sheets. In the morning, she helped Sora pack.

"So what are some things I need to know about your parents?" Sora asked, folding a shirt. Kairi stood in front of his tiny closet space, trying to pick out the outfit he would meet them in. He meant to have this talk sooner, because even though their houses were close by, she'd be out of town visiting her grandmother who lived back home until Christmas Eve. Sora wouldn't see her again until he visited.

"My mom's cool. Total church mom, but was always the fair one. Dad was always the strict one." She looked him in the eyes and shrugged bashfully. "So, sorry about that. I can guarantee you he's going to make it his job to make you as uncomfortable as possible. It's going to be fucking terrible." She pulled out a green knitted sweater, noticed it was starting to unravel as the sleeve, and tucked it back in.

Sora gulped nervously. "Yeah, no, that's cool. I've got my natural charisma going for me. I'll be fine."

She pulled out a tee shirt, not even really paying attention, and nervously picked at the fabric. "…And if," she hesitation, holding the fabric closer, "if my either of them mentions anything about my… about me dating girls, can you do me a favor and not deny it?"

Oh. They were those kind of parents. Sora would be lying if he didn't admit that was one of the things that scared him so much about coming out. He was sure his parents would be okay with it. Totally positive. …But what if they weren't? Apparently Kairi was already dealing with that struggle in the worst way. He would do anything to help her out.

"When I told them I had a boyfriend they acted like I had been cured or something."

Something about the vibe of this conversation remembered Sora of an earlier talk they'd had. Kairi had whispered, 'Say it again? …Say I don't have to change.' This feeling of acceptance was something Kairi had struggled with for a long, long time.

Sora stepped up to her, removing the shirt from her grasp and hanging it back in the closet. "If they say a damn thing I'll go into exorbenent detail about all my past boyfriends." She giggled as he wrapped his arms around her. "Right there, in front of your kid sister too, in front of the turkey, in front of God, I swear it. And if it all goes south, I'll have driven there in my car so we can just escape if we want to." Now she was straight-up guffawing into his chest.

"We'll ride your el camino into the sunset," she sniffled, possibly from being on the verge of tears, or maybe Sora made her so relieved she was crying.

Kairi wasn't much for tears, so after she had her moment, she gave Sora a tight squeeze around his torso and pushed him away so she could continue critiquing his wardrobe. "God! All you own are a bunch of shitty workout shirts and thrift store garbage. Why do you even bother putting this stuff on hangers?"

The real answer was that his dorm didn't have any drawers. Sora replied with some bullshit about how he didn't like wrinkles. She started reaching far back into the side of the rack Sora barely touched. It was probably where she'd find the biggest cache of nice clothes.

"Oh! What's this?" she asked. Sora's heart sped, possibly skipped, at the sight of a black blazer. "This is nice. How come I never see you wearing this?"

"Ah… that's something my mom got me to wear to prom."

Kairi lowered it slightly, making eye contact and raising her brow. "You went to prom? In what universe does Sora Strife go to prom?"

"I went Junior year with a friend. It was okay." It had been years, and Sora felt stupid for still feeling a little confused about it, but anything to do with Demyx was like walking on tenterhooks. This break marked the one-year anniversary of when they last spoke. Sora hadn't seen or heard from him since.

Kairi wasn't blind to the stunted response, and decided to save it until later when they had more time to devote to serious heart-to-hearts. "My prom was a disaster. My mom made me try on a million dresses and I ended up being forced into this ribbony lavender thing that's still in my closet back home." She paused to think about it. "Pretty apt metaphor for my life, strangely."

Sora took the blazer and tossed it on his bed so it wouldn't get wrinkled with the other clothes in his duffle. "You're nervous. It's okay to be, but just remember I'll be right there with you. I'll call every day."

She laughed, finally, and Sora knew she'd be okay.

"Do I need to bring anything?" he asked. They had discussed earlier that they wouldn't be getting each other gifts. There wasn't room in the dorms for anything like that. Instead, they planned a nice dinner when the festivities were over and done with.

"Nah, my parents have everything. Too young for a bottle of wine. Just bring your hot bod," she smiled a little, kissing the side of his cheek close to his jaw. They finished packing his duffel and threw all the dirty clothes in his hamper before kissing each other goodbye. Kairi's parents were picking her up in an hour, soon to be whisked away out of state to visit her grandparents, and Sora's dad was going to pick him up on his way home from work that afternoon.

He hadn't even lost sight of her walking down the hallway and he was already missing her.

oooOOOooo

Sora would never be the one to say that he wasn't a child a heart, but times like these, laying awake at one AM Christmas morning because it meant seeing his girlfriend again and not the anxious excitement to open gifts, certainly pushed that theory. He probably got a grand total of three hours of sleep before Roxas snuck into his bedroom, awake with the sun, and nudged impatiently on his shoulder.

"Santa visited!" he whispered obnoxiously loud.

"It's six. I will cut a bitch. Go back to sleep."

Apparently Christmas Morning meant that threats didn't mean anything as Roxas continuously poked on the shoulder, then the cheek, before moving down to his tummy. Sora nearly screamed and kicked his little brother in the stomach while he was flailing in hysterics.

"To be perfectly fair," Sora gasped, sitting up in bed and wide-awake, "you were asking for it."

Roxas, from his place curled up on the carpet and clutching his bruised rib, nodded solemnly. "Fair."

They made their way into the den to empty their stockings. Stockings were free reign without parental supervision, but when it came to the actual wrapped presents under the tree, they had to wait for mom and dad. Sora's stocking was light this year. Mostly gift cards. Necessary in college, but left him wanting. While he waited for Roxas to finish freaking out about the ipod charger that was in his stocking, which totally meant he was getting the ipod he asked for under the tree somewhere, Sora pulled his cell phone out of his pajama pants' pocket and shot Kairi a quick text.

[merry xmas kai! xoxo]

A few minutes later he received a response.

[it is 6:14 in the morning r u fuking insane?]

Then,

[jk nams & i been up since 5 ur xmas morning game is WEAK, strifes]

Attached was a picture of Kairi's face, blurry in the foreground, with Naminé in focus by the tree holding up a new set of watercolors by their tree. The blonde girl had a triumphant grin that seemed to match all the other pictures of her Kairi had shown Sora when she was bragging about her art.

There were three tiny oranges at the toe of his stocking. Roxas got oranges too, and they sat by the coffee table to eat them while watching Christmas specials until their parents woke up two hours later. Together they opened presents, Roxas got his precious ipod, his dad surprised his mom with vouchers for dancing lessons, Sora got some nice dress shirts and socks. He never felt more like an adult and the feeling was haunted by the fact that around eleven he would be getting in his car, armed only with his blazer and a printed out map to Kairi's house, to meet The Parents.

"Do you want breakfast?" his mom asked, giving him a quick kiss on the crown of his head. Sora wasn't hungry but answered Yes anyway, out of habit.

Soon, with a tummy full of his mother's special occasion lemon pancakes, Sora was traversing the paved labyrinth of Kairi's suburban neighborhood. The area was possibly one or two pay grades above Sora's, with every house being tall and layered with classy red bricks. Despite it being cold, the sun was shining without a cloud in the sky, and the streets were covered by the naked branches of elderly oak trees. It was a beautiful day.

Kairi told him her house, or rather her parent's house, was going to have a giant inflatable snowman on the front lawn. Sora found the house easily, and paused in his car before shutting off the engine. Her house was red-bricked, like the others, with ivy growing up the front and curling around the upstairs windows.

He didn't realize he was gripping his cell in his hand until it buzzed loudly and he almost dropped it. It was a text from Kairi.

[get in here strife my parents r gonna think ur a lurker]

With a deep breath he left his car and walked up to the front porch. Kairi swung the door open before he had a chance to knock and collapsed in his arms.

"Sora!" she said happily, her face buried in his shoulder. He held her close and breathed her in. She smelled differently than she had in college. Maybe less like a dorm and more like air fresheners and borrowed shampoo, but it was nice.

"I missed you," he said lowly, just for her.

Suddenly, two figures appeared in the doorway. A man who looked a little gruff with warey eyes but a pleasant enough smile, and a woman who looked like the spitting image of Kairi thirty years into the future. They were both wearing hideous Christmas sweaters and from Kairi's description of what to expect, he wasn't convinced it was ironically.

Kairi shuffled behind Sora and pushed him forward like a tribunal offering. "Mom, Dad… I'd like you to meet Sora Strife."

It was like looking into the eyes of vengeful, jealous gods. They were pleasantly surprised but confused, Sora surmised Kairi's track record of only seeming interested in girls in the past wasn't exactly close-guarded secret in the family. After a moment of looking him up and down, and Sora was so glad he wore his nice shoes with the blazer, Kairi's mother smiled openly.

"Welcome, Sora! Merry Christmas!"

"S-Same to you, Ma'am. Merry Christmas." Ma'am? When was the last time Sora said ma'am? He didn't have to look over his shoulder to know Kairi was forcing a chuckle back down her throat.

"C'mon in," her dad said, stepping aside to let them further into the house. It was high vaulted ceilings, like Sora expected, and everything was painted a pristine, angelic white. All of the decorating was relatively minimalist, and Sora couldn't decide if it was because they had only been living there a few months or if this was just their aesthetic. The only thing that stood out in the den was the dark green Christmas tree and the blonde girl sitting on the couch beside it, wearing a white dress.

She stood up immediately and walked across the room, holding her hand out nervously. "Sora! I've heard so much about you!" This was Naminé. Considering they only knew two people in common, her sister and his brother, it was cause for concern.

"Nothing but good things, I hope."

She smiled, but her grip on his hand intensified. "Nothing that won't see the light of day, I promise."

…He liked her.

Sora settled in for the long haul. They sat in the den, Kairi's parents playing a round of twenty questions that transformed into fifty questions once they pieced together that Sora's brother was the boy their youngest apparently had the biggest crush on. What's your major? How long has your family lived in Bastion? Where are some good restaurants to eat at? Where do your friends go to school? Oh, you had a friend go to Destiny Island University, he must be talented! Where does Roxas plan on going to college? What are Roxas' grades like? What are your grades like? Do you skip class often? Kairi isn't being too much of a distraction, is she?

He was beginning to understand exactly what Kairi was trying to explain in his dorm room before they left for break. Even his own parents didn't barrage him with questions like this.

The unmistakable smell of roasting turkey filled the room. Kairi's mom would excuse herself every few moments to check on some of the other dishes, usually accompanied by Naminé. They ate a late lunch, and thankfully by that point the conversation at steered towards Naminé and her art endeavors. She was taking advanced art classes and was even a member of some extracurricular courses offered at the community college. Some called her a prodigy.

"I don't really believe all that," she muttered softly to Sora, while her parents were distracted. Her face was a humble shade of bright red. "I just draw what I see. It would be impressive if I were ten. Not so much at sixteen."

"You shouldn't sell yourself short," Sora mumbled back. "Just because you don't think you're a prodigy doesn't mean you're not talented. Keep working hard, okay?"

She smiled crookedly and went back to making shapes with her mashed potatoes.

Once they were done eating, Kairi nudge Sora into the kitchen. "C'mon," she whispered. "It's like tradition that the people who didn't help cook have to help clean." She filled the sink with hot water and dish soap and handed Sora clean plates and utensils to dry off.

"This isn't so bad," Sora said, quiet enough so her family couldn't hear him over the television in the livingroom. "Your parents seem cool."

"Do they?" she asked, glancing over her shoulder. "They seem so stressful to me. I dunno. I really wanna meet your parents. I bet they're cooler!"

Sora laughed and thought of the inevitable meeting between Kairi and his parents. His mom would sit there and fidget with her long braid, too hesitant to ask Kairi basic questions because she wouldn't want to pry. His dad would sit and stare, probably looking intimidating, when in reality he probably had fallen asleep with his eyes open. "Yeah. The coolest."

They finished and noticed that Kairi's parents had fallen asleep on the couches. "They always do that," she said softly. "Turkey. The silent killer." She also said that Naminé had escaped into her bedroom to draw. "Come to my room, your present's in there."

Sora's blood ran cold. "I thought we weren't getting each other anything," he said, feeling his heart thrash as she clenched her fingers around his wrist to lead him down a barren hallway to her bedroom, for what it was.

Kairi looked over her shoulder and smiled sinisterly. "And you believed me?"

The walls were empty, much like the hallway. The double bed had linens that looked like something more for a guest room than a teenage girl's bedroom. The smell of paint still hung in the air, like the room wasn't left open and habited too often. There was a dresser and a chest of drawers pushed to the corner, with the only signs of Kairi's belongings left scattered loosely on top. A couple of framed photographs from high school and old plastic jewelry she didn't want anymore.

It was hard to focus on these small details while Kairi was taking her sweater off. She wore a lacy, transparent black bra that pushed everything forward and caused a jolt straight through Sora's body.

He made a strangled noise and almost slammed the door shut behind him.

"Shh, they may be knocked out but they're not heavy sleepers," she commented, wiggling out of her jeans. She was wearing matching panties. "Take your pants off, let's go."

Like Pavlov's Dog, hearing Kairi take an authoritative tone meant he immediately needed to unzip his pants. His hands were already going to work.

"Oh my god," he whispered, kicking his pants to the ground, not worrying about his socks. She was wearing a thong. She was planning for this. "You ate a nice Christmas meal with your parents dressed like that?"

She just shrugged. "They couldn't see it," she figured, pulling back the comforter and quilt laying over boring beige sheets. Then she jumped on them like a nerd and laid her body out like she was some sort of pinup girl. "Now get over here and unwrap your present, Strife."

It was suddenly much too hot in the room and Sora decided on removing his socks after all.

"Which room is your sister's," he asked, crawling into the bed and looming over her.

"Down the hall. Won't hear breathing but will definitely hear a moan so keep it quiet." She gave him a peck on the lips that turned into a challenge like she was daring Sora to be loud as she slipped his underwear down to his knees. He shimmied them off and moved the kiss down to her chest, leaving a few soft bites that would be hidden under her sweater.

"We don't have all day," she whispered, sounding almost louder than talking as her breaths became heavier. Sora continued his trail of wet kisses down her stomach and paused, digging his thumbs under the lacy edges of Kairi's panties.

"We have enough time for this," he said and gave her a little nip to her inner thigh. Kairi almost screamed. "Remember. No moaning."

"Sora, oh my God!"

She grabbed the pillow by her side and smothered her face into it while Sora pulled down the thong and got to work.

Twenty minutes later found Naminé knocking on Kairi's door. Without waiting for an answer, she opened it to find Kairi standing awkwardly in the middle of the room, hands posed oddly at the hem of her sweater. Sora laid on his side on her bed, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand and then stood still like a deer in the headlights. Both were flushed and red, and the room was several degrees warmer than the rest of the house.

Naminé gave her sister a pointed look.

"You're disgusting."

"I am a woman with needs," she said, adding quickly, "that Mom and Dad don't need to know about."

Her little sister rolled her eyes and shook her head. "Make the bed or else they'll know without my help. When you're done get out here so we can call Gramma and Grampa." She paused before leaving back down the hall, giving them one last look over. "And fix your hair."

Sora glanced towards the dresser mirror, but his hair looked like the same clusterfuck as always. He self-awarely gave it a few pats before Kairi headed back into the den to make all the familial holiday phone calls.

He hung near the back of the room, focusing more on the family portraits that were hung near the television while he tried not to eavesdrop too much on the calls, even though the family was on speakerphone by the fireplace. It was very picturesque, just like the portraits. Kairi's family was so damn photogenic.

When his name was mentioned he couldn't help but turn around. Kairi was already locking eyes with him and looking annoyed.

"Yes, Gramma. My boyfriend came over. His family only lives across town."

"That's so sweet of him," her grandmother replied, voice staticy over the line. "Do you think he's the one?"

At that, Kairi's cheeks turned almost as bright red as her hair. She broke eye contact with Sora and glared down at the phone's speaker. "Once again, reminding you that I'm only eighteen and this isn't the 1940s, Gramma."

Her grandmother chuckled warmly in that way that hinted that some elderly people weren't as behind the times as the children of today would assume. "Is he cute, at least?"

Kairi looked up at him again from across the room. Sora scratched the back of his head and shrugged his shoulders, a modest and silent apology. Kairi waggled her finger in a circle and Sora slowly - face burning up in the process - turned in a slow circle in front of her family so Kairi could ogle. "Eh, he's okay."

"Ooh, then he must be very attractive."

"Okay!" Sora said, holding his hands in defeat. "I'm just gonna wait outside until you're done!"

Kairi laughed and leaned closer to the phone. "See, Gramma? You scared him off!"

"That means he's a keeper. Every grandma should put the fear of Jesus in good boyfriends."

Sora's smile was bursting at the seams when he stepped outside her house. The small wooden porch didn't have room for a chair, but the small stoop lined with potted plants was just as good a place as any to sit and enjoy the blessedly cool air on his hot face.

He really liked Kairi. And he liked her family, too. Even though the house was new and still a bit unsettled, he liked it as well. He liked her grandmother, even just from the few moments he heard her on speakerphone. Kairi the person was amazing, but Kairi the package deal, with her nosy sister, curious parents, all of it. He… really loved it.

So much that maybe the idea of spending the rest of his life with this family… wouldn't be so bad? He imagined his mom and Kairi's mom getting along famously. His dad and Kairi's dad watching sports on television together. What if Roxas and Naminé finally stopped tiptoeing around it and just started dating already. He imagined both of their families becoming one big family, and the idea made his heart swell.

Minutes passed away in an instant. Sora wasn't sure how long he was sitting out there, staring off into space and daydreaming about a not-so-distant future when Kairi opened the screen door and joined him on the stoop.

"Am I interrupting a moment," she asked with a grin. "Sorry about my Gramma, by the way. She can be a little… like a grandma."

"No, that's fine. I loved her. What I heard of her, anyway," he said, taking in a deep breath. "And… for what it's worth? I think you're a keeper."

Kairi laughed hesitantly, turning to look down the street to save Sora from her blushing face. "That sounds an awful lot like-"

She was cut off by her cell phone buzzing once in her back pocket. A new text message. She pulled it out and flipped it open, reading the short text. Sora could see it clearly over her shoulder, but waited for her to say something, if she wanted. "It's from Alice," she said softly. She took a moment to type out a quick response.

[ Merry Christmas! :) xo ]

She sighed loudly, placing the phone on the step beside her. A few moments of silence passed.

"Trouble in paradise?" Sora asked, trying to keep the tone light. Honestly, Kairi was usually pretty good at not discussing Alice when they were alone together. Not that it would have bothered him much if she did, he knew how much she cared about her, but whenever Sora pictured their future, Alice was always notoriously absent from it.

"My room is a single. She's not… technically supposed to be living there, but the RA turned a blind eye to it. Before break, before studying for finals got really intense, she moved back to her room…"

"Woah, Kairi- You should've said something to me, I had no-"

With a weary sigh, she wrapped her arms around her legs and rested her chin on her knees. "We're still… I don't know," she sighed lowly. The only thing separating them from her inside of the house was a screen door, and even the glass on it wouldn't strong enough from a parent's wandering ear. "I guess you could call it a trial separation. …I've been using the time to focus more on us."

She punctuated the statement by moving her hand on top of Sora's. He gulped.

"And do you think it's paying off?"

She hummed and smiled. "I'm happy."

"I'm glad to hear that." Sora turned his hands so their palms met, giving her hand a tight squeeze. "I love you."

He leaned in closer, and just before a soft kiss she replied softly, "I love you too."

oooOOOooo

Sora Strife was in Love.

Capital-L, walking on sunshine, almost crashed his car three times driving down streets he knew by heart Love.

"Why are winter breaks so long?" Kairi moaned. Sora knew her pain. They were both stuck at their parents house, and after experiencing the relative freedom the dorms provided, it was like forcing freed tigers back in their cages.

It was New Year's Eve and Sora was given the very important task of buying black eyed peas from the canned vegetable aisle. It would still be another three days before the dorms opened again, so Sora was killing time by running errands for his mother.

"I dunno. It's not too bad."

"Yeah. Because you have a car."

Sora breathed out a laugh. "I'm still picking you up tonight, right?"

It was Kairi's turn to meet Sora's parents. She was coming over a few hours before midnight, saying her hellos and answering all the embarrassing questions, and then they were going to head out to the local park that was going to host a fireworks show while his parents stayed home and Roxas spent the night at his friend's house.

"Nine works good for me. My parents can't wait to see you again. They refuse to shut up about you."

"Still? It's been like a week…"

"You made an impression! I couldn't be prouder. Picture-perfect boyfriend material."

Sora couldn't help but feel flattered as he picked up the second largest can from the shelf. "Well, we'll see how you stack up to my family. Letting you know, my mom hates redheads."

There was a long pause. "…Okay. So I know you're joking but that's not funny. You're not funny, Sora."

Her dramatic response made him chuckle out loud. "I'm a little funny."

"You are a humorless killjoy."

"See you at nine?"

"Quick question: Did your parents raise you on a steady diet of evening news and black coffee or have you always been this vitriolic and catty?"

"Yeah yeah. Don't act like my vitriol isn't what turned you onto me in the first place."

"Vomit and vitriol are two different things, Upchuck."

"You and I have very different turn-ons." Sora's lip quirked as he approached the expedited checkout lane. There wasn't much of a line and he wanted to get off the phone before meeting up the the checkout attendant. "I need to hang up. Love you, Sweetie."

"Of course you do." Her voice immediately bounced back into her usual, buoyant self. "See you tonight!"

Sora ended the call just as he stepped up to the attendant and placed his can of black eyed peas on the stand. "Sorry."

"No problem," he said. "My wife calls me to do last minute grocery shopping all the time."

Sora perked up at that. "Oh, she isn't…" He could already tell his face was red as a strawberry. "I mean. She's- Girlfriend. She's my girlfriend."

The man took it with good humor and rang him up. "Anything else to help you ring in the new year?"

Sora glanced around the register, then over his shoulder to where the small floral department located by the door. Most of the plants on sale at this point in the year where the hardy winter shrubs, but there were some barely-wilted perennial bouquets on a stand. "How much for one of those?"

This was how Sora arrived on Kairi's doorstep, nine PM sharp, with a bouquet of purple jasmine and not a whole lot else. "Aw, you didn't have to," Kairi cooed, giving them a good sniff. It reminded Sora of when Kairi got him flowers when she first asked him to be her boyfriend. It seemed so much farther away than three months ago.

Kairi shook off her mother's flabbergasted face when she told her she didn't want to put the flowers in vase. "They're pretty but I don't think they'll last overnight," Kairi said. "I want to enjoy them while I can."

Roxas was already gone by the time they got back to his house. His family was welcoming, if not a little impressed by meeting Kairi. Sora couldn't help but agree with them. Even he didn't know how he pulled this off.

They asked the usual parent questions. She answered them all without breaking a sweat. Sora was grateful that his parents weren't that awkward to do anything embarrassing like pull out the album of naked baby pictures or ask anything too invasive. All they seemed to care about was that his son was happy and she was happy.

"You should leave if you want to find parking," his dad said when it was getting close to ten. Honestly, Sora knew it was just an excuse because he was tired and wanted to go to bed. His parents stopped staying up until midnight on New Year's ages ago.

Before leaving, his mom gripped his hand and pulled him back as Kairi walked ahead. She pulled her son close and whispered in his ear, "I really like her…" When she pulled away she gave Sora a giddy smile and waved him off.

The second he turned the car around the corner Kairi immediately latched to his arm. "I know what that was," she said. "That was The Okay. I got The Okay from your mom!" She giggled, practically cackled, and clapped her hands together while stomping her feet.

"I don't know what you're talking about. All she said to me was to make sure I watched my back around a wicked redhead like yourself."

"Sora!"

It would be redundant to tell her he was joking. Instead at a stop sign he leaned over and kissed her on the top of her head. "Of course she likes you, Kai. Who wouldn't like you?"

Sora was too busy driving after that to see the unfocused smile on her face. After paying out the nose for parking downtown, they walked hand-in-hand to the park. Hundreds of people had already congressed, stomping around through the grass from one vendor to the next. Several booths were set up under tents, everything from games to clothing to food. Half of Bastion must have been there. With two hours to kill, they spent the time looking at the shops. Sora bought them a bag of kettle corn.

"This is so much fun," Kairi sighed happily, swinging their linked hands between them. "They didn't have anything like this in my old town."

They stopped at an accessory booth. The woman running the tent made her own jewelry, belts and purses from scratch. Kairi admired some of the pendants with a far-off look. Behind them, several children ran past, laughing loudly carrying plush toys they won from one of the game booths.

"Have you… ever thought about a family?" he asked.

She glanced over her shoulder with a curiously concerned look. "A family?"

"Y'know, like," he paused and scratched the back of his neck, "a family of your own?"

Kairi took noticed of the excessive amount of children around them and looked back up to Sora with a small, knowing smile. "Is this your way of telling me you want kids?"

"No," he blushed. "Not really, I mean… Your endgame, with Alice, do you see yourself maybe marrying her? I mean, not every family needs to have children to be complete, I know that, but like… adoption? Or like a pet? I know you love her, but I'm curious. I'm sorry if that's rude, I just-"

"Sora, I love you," she said, just to smooth the crease that was starting to form between his brow. "I never gave much thought to having children or raising a family. Maybe in the future, five or ten years down the line, but I think it depends on who my partner is and what I'm feeling when the time is right." She gave his hand a reassuring squeeze, feeling equally confirmed when he squeezed back. "For now I want to focus on what makes me happy. Going to school and being with you are what makes me happiest. From here, we'll grow."

She leaned over a gave him a kiss, nuzzling her forehead on his shoulder. "Alice and I… we broke up, a couple days ago," she said just loud enough for him to hear. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you, but honestly I didn't feel as sad about it as I thought I would. Her grades on her finals weren't where she hoped they would be so she said she needed to concentrate more on school. I'm upset, but…" She pulled back and looked into Sora's eyes. "I guess, the thought that you're still here made it better."

Sora was unbelievably touched. "You should've told me," he said. "The second it happened I would've come over, you know that. I hate that you had to go through that alone."

"It wasn't the end of the world. Like I said… I dunno, maybe it's my lack of empathy or maybe it's because I'm used to getting dumped but it didn't hit me as hard as I thought it would." She pulled away completely, holding his hand and dragging him to another booth. "It really is okay. Look at it this way, now it's just us."

"Just us?"

Kairi looked over her shoulder and gave him a tight smirk. "What I'm trying to say is that it's you and me, here on out."

It was a huge statement.

Kairi was happy. So happy with Sora, in fact, that he was all she needed. The girl with 'lots of love to give' was satisfied giving it all to Sora, and it left him breathless. He grabbed her hand and squeezed it tightly, wanting to never let go.

They continued to browse until it was getting close to midnight. On their way to the main lawn, Sora paused by the bathrooms. "Hey, I need to stop in for a second. You find us a good spot and text me where you are, okay?" She hummed a pleasant response and pecked him on the lips before leaving to hunt for a place to sit.

Sora waited until she was distracted by the crowds before turning back and rushing to the booth they were at earlier, the one with the silver trinkets. He was able to find it, but the woman who had designed the pieces wasn't there anymore. A young man took her place. "Are you still open?" he asked, panting.

The man looked up at him, bored sitting behind a small table that had the jewelry splayed across it. It was an experience that Sora hadn't felt in a very long time. They made eye contact, the man quickly scanning Sora from head to toe, and then quickly fixing his posture and putting on a dazzling smile. "Of course we are."

It was strange. Sora was easily picking up the cue this man was giving him, but he felt nothing. He was attractive, for sure. Tall, dark, bright eyes, nice smile, overall an objectively beautiful man. But in his chest, Sora felt no pull, no need to go further. Something that he would've done in a heartbeat just a few months ago, but Kairi filled him with a new sense of purpose. He never felt more right than that moment.

"How can I help you?"

Sora squared his shoulders and looked down to the black narrow box with velvet roles of fabric housing silver rings. He pointed to one with a pink star-shaped crystal housed in swirling metal hinges. It caught his eye earlier and he couldn't keep his mind off it.

"That one, please."

oooOOOooo

He found Kairi exactly where she said, under a barren oak tree near the outer edge of the lawn.

She sat on a bit of upturned root with her knees pulled up to her chest, looking at the sky. The city had provided entertainment in the form of a DJ on the far opposite side, along with a giant projector with a countdown clock telling him he had five minutes before midnight.

Kairi perked up when Sora sat down beside her. "Took you long enough," she said, scooting over to give him a spot to sit. "D'you fall in?"

He rolled his eyes and nudged her so she almost fell off her perch. "No, there was just a line."

There wasn't a lot of room to stretch out. Kairi took a nearby twig and poked at the cold dirt and grass. There was only a minute left and people had started counting down. "Next time we do this, we're bringing a blanket and staking out our territory early," she grunted, rising to her feet and joining along. "TWENTY-NINE, TWENTY-EIGHT…"

The thought of being here next year with Kairi made his heart pound in his chest he was surprise Kairi couldn't hear it over the sounds of people counting.

"FIFTEEN, FOURTEEN, THIRTEEN- Sora, get up you lazy bum!" she giggled and gave him a soft kick to the ass.

Sora moved so he was on his knee beside her. She was still focused on the countdown clock.

"SIX! FIVE! FOUR!"

"Kairi…"

Everyone in the city was shouting the countdown. Sora didn't think she would hear him. But she stopped counting, confused, and turned to look beside her.

Sora was kneeling, holding up a ring, nervously sucking in and nibbling on his lower lip.

"-ONE! HAPPY NEW YEAR!"

The crowd went wild. Most broke out into Auld Lang Syne. The whistling of fireworks cutting through the cold night air were enough to make Kairi blink and refocus, a small smile creeping up to her eyes.

"Sora…"

The fireworks were reflecting a cacophony of colors on her watery eyes. She covered her mouth with her hands to hide her crying face. With a hesitant shake in his breath, he asked, "Will you…?"

She collapsed to her knees in front of him and wrapped her arms around his neck. "Of course I do!" She pulled back and Sora placed the ring on her left ring finger. It was a little too big, but nothing that couldn't be adjusted.

"Oh my god," she wheezed, looking at the ring, the crystal, and turning back to Sora. "It's beautiful. What– what does it mean? Is this?" She was too scared to say it. Perhaps they both were.

Sora held her hands in his and brought their foreheads together. "It's a promise. That next year, and the year after that, and the year after that… We'll watch the fireworks together for New Years. How's that sound?"

"That sounds like a proposal," she sniffed.

"I mean… it could be, if you wanted it to. I-I wouldn't be against it…"

Kairi grabbed his shoulders and pulled him away so there were staring at each other dead in the eyes. "Sora Strife, will you marry me?"

His answer got caught in a relieved, shuddering laugh. "Yes!"

°o°

"What's with that look?" Sora asked, nudging Riku with his foot. The man had his arms crossed and was definitely giving Sora some hardened side-eye.

"…You're gross," the punk answered after a length of silence.

"Gross?! No! It was really sweet!" Sora insisted.

"That is some of the most schmoopy nonsense I have ever heard in my entire goddamn life. You two were fucking made for each other…"

He said it before he could stop himself, but the statement made Sora reign himself in and a solemn expression crossed his features. He leaned back on the couch and sighed, looking off distantly. Riku nervously laced his fingers, hugging a couch pillow he had subconsciously held onto earlier while Sora was narrating.

"So… what happened?"

Sora had moved himself away so he wasn't touching Riku anymore. It was a difficult question to parse, but Sora tried.

"We got engaged on New Years, about four months after meeting each other. As far as we behaved, we were married. Her parents thought it was too soon, but they liked me. Liked my family. I moved into her single bedroom the following semester, and we started living together officially once the school year ended," Sora said, glancing to the ceiling as he tried to gather his thoughts, make sure everything followed the right chronological order. "But we held off on throwing a wedding until we were ready. Ideally that meant until we were out of school, but we couldn't wait any longer. We decided to finally set a date and get married a few years later, in the summer."

Riku squeezed the pillow even tighter. Sora curled himself up into an even smaller ball on his end of the couch. The difficulty of answering his question openly and honestly was making the younger man more closed off than ever. Riku wanted to do something, reach over and hold his hand, anything, but Sora pushed through without the encouragement.

"Tidus and Wakka got back in touch with me. They had a beach house for a little while and were vacationing on the harbor. It was a couple weeks before the wedding, crunch time, but Kairi insisted for me to go on the trip. She… we…" His face was bright red. "We'd been testing the waters a bit. I'd mentioned to her that I missed having sex with boys, and she said she missed having sex with girls. We both were kinda uncomfortable with bringing in someone new, so… we'd given each other permission."

Riku's eyebrows had gotten lost behind his bangs. The look of shock on his face only made Sora more embarrassed as he buried his face into his arms. "Permission."

"Y'know, to…"

The punk blinked slowly. "You don't have to be coy. Fuck. Y'all gave each other permission to fuck around."

"It's more complicated than that, though. There's things. There's tools we could've used to help make sex more enjoyable for me, but for Kairi… I can't become a girl. I don't want to and there's not much I can do to recreate the experience for her the way she liked. The lack of intimacy that we wanted from each other made us grow distant. I love her, honestly, but…"

"Then what made you change your mind?"

Sora moved his face from being smothered in his arms. Riku noticed how hollowed and terrified his eyes were, along with the bright pink painted from ear to ear. "I'm looking at him."

°o°

Sora had pulled over on the side of the highway, just outside of Bastion city limits. He was able to hold it together, for the most part, tears welling up in his eyes but not falling. The dams broke when he saw the touristy Bastion sign with the tall buildings of downtown visible in the distance.

There was nobody else on the highway, so he swerved into the farthest right lane.

"Fuck," he spat, jamming his camino into park. Tears were spilling out and dotting his jeans dark blue.

Like a hurricane, thoughts of the past few days stormed through his mind. Riku smiling at him, Riku across the table eating dinner, Riku lazing on a surfboard, the way his keys would jingle in his back pocket, how he walked everywhere because he didn't need a car, his voice when he was singing, the burning gaze over a microphone across an audience of fans. Riku's touch when they were together, his deep breaths across Sora's chest, how he always smelled like sweat and sea salt during those intimate moments.

It killed Sora that the last memory he had of them together was Riku's face, shocked and hurt, yelling at him to leave, begging for him to stay, sobbing…

"Shit. Shit."

He pulled out his phone. He couldn't even look at it, it required so much of his strength to tap the buttons for speed dial #1.

"Hey babe! What's up?"

"K-Kairi-"

It was barely a word but already she could tell.

"Sora? What's wrong? What happened?"

"Kairi I messed up… I really, really– I messed-"

"Where are you? Are you at the Harbor?"

About an hour later Kairi had arrived after a friend dropped her off. Sora's memory of the whole moment was foggy at best. He remembered her hugging him inside his car while he broke down. She didn't ask him anything. After several long minutes, Sora moved to the passenger seat and Kairi drove them home. Along the way she stopped by a fast food chain on the side of the highway and bought Sora a side of fries and a soda. He didn't realize how thirsty all the crying had made him until they pulled into the parking lot of their apartment complex and the soda was gone.

She led him into the living room and sat next to him on the couch. "Something happened, Sora. You need to tell me. Did somebody do something to you? Was anybody hurt?"

Sora could feel the tears welling up again, but his body was too exhausted to wrack about with sobs anymore. Instead he let out a few soft sniffles and curled into the armrest. "I met someone," he answered simply.

Kairi was a smart girl. They had an agreement, so it was obviously Sora started something with some boy at the harbor. "…Did you like him?"

He turned his face away from her. "Yeah." He began clenching his hands into fists above his knees, trying to grasp for the right words. "I- I really liked him, but I didn't… tell…"

Her eyes grew wide. "Sora, no. You didn't…"

The growing sense of shame made him close his eyes and hide his face from her completely. "I didn't tell him about us. I didn't- I didn't think it would be a thing, so I just… I acted like it was a one-time thing, but it wasn't. We really… I really…"

Kairi sighed loudly and stood up, pacing the living room floor. "Sora. God, I can't believe you would…"

"I didn't know!" he cried.

"It doesn't matter! You lied to someone! Oh my god." She sat on the chair beside the couch, smother her face in the palms of her hands. "You led him on-"

"He knew I was on vacation and I wasn't going to-"

"-and then you kept lying to him to-"

"-How was I supposed to know he didn't do one night stands, and-

"-goes against everything, you have no common sense-

"-didn't know it would feel like this, I didn't know he would…"

"-right before the wedding to, god, I'm so pissed at you right now!"

Sora stopped trying to explain himself, or give excuses. She was right. He was wrong. He did an incredibly wrong thing and there wasn't anything he could do to fix it. It left a bottomless sinkhole in his stomach, gradually going larger to swallow him whole.

"D-do you still want go through with it?" he asked meekly. She didn't answer right away, and Sora was still to scared to look at her, but he knew her well enough to know that the silence was because she was confused by the question. "The wedding," he prompted.

Now she was silent because she was thinking. "…Do you?" she asked.

"Yes!" he answered, automatic and honest. The shock of it all brought his eyes back on Kairi for the first time since they got home. Her hair was stringy and a little greasy, her clothes a mess, her eyes tinged with red, but no tears on her cheeks. She looked devastated and angry, her muscles nervous and jittery as she sat looking at him. "Kairi, what happened was… terrible. I'm so sorry. But I love you. Some things may change…" he said, watching her wince slightly and look down, "but that never will. Of course I want to marry you."

"I don't know how I can trust you anymore. You can't just fuck around with random guys like that, that was part of the agreement. You can't assume anything. You can't…" she trailed off, obviously wanting to say more but couldn't come up with the right words.

They sat in mutual silence for a long while. The passing of time showed in the cheap wall clock they hung in the kitchen ticking loudly and filtering into the living room. It had since gotten dark. Kairi stood and walked into the kitchen. Every sound she made was purposefully loud. The slamming of the freezer door, ripping of the plastic, the forceful sound of a frozen pizza being thrown into the back of the oven. Her sighs carried over into Sora's ears, sharp and painful.

Twenty minutes later she appeared in front of him with a few slices of pizza. "I'm going to sleep," she told him, apparently having enough of this. She bent down and kissed him on top of his head.

That night, she slept in her bed and Sora on the couch. It would be the first time of many.

oooOOOooo

When Sora got home he was in a funk. Thankfully Kairi was there playing videogames in the living room. She perked up at the sight of him.

"Welcome home!" she sang. "You'll never guess who's warrior made it to level thirty-five!"

"I guess Kairi," he said, walking up behind her on the couch and mussed her hair while she preened.

"You guess right! How were the movies with Roxas?"

"They were fine. Are you sure you didn't want to go?"

She visibly shuddered and shook her head. "Hell nah. Jack Skellington movies are freaking creepy. Glad you had fun, though!"

Sora floated along, backpedaling to hang his light jacket by the door before sitting on the couch beside Kairi. "So… has Naminé talked with you at all about her wedding plans?" he asked, leaning his head on her shoulder.

"Somewhat. If she wants help she'll ask for it, since I am a seasoned wedding planner," she bragged. It immediately lost effect as her character on screen took a pretty sizable hit from a nearby dragon. "But I think she's having fun planning it her own way." Her character finally died and she was taken to the continue screen. "Anyway, you wouldn't be bringing this up for nothing. What's up?"

"You know the band she chose for the reception?" he asked, nervously picking on a hole in her artfully torn jeans.

"…No?"

"I'm almost positive it's 13 Hearts."

She didn't seem to notice at first. The initial reaction of cocking her head and starting the game over from her last save proved that she didn't exactly follow. "Okay?" she said. It hit her after the save finished loading. "Oh my god!" she cried, bolting upright.

"I know."

"…Holy shit."

"Yeah."

"Wow… what does that…?"

"I don't know."

She leaned back on the couch, letting her character stand in the middle of the open field. "So… is Riku in town?"

Sora's face felt uncomfortably hot. He was willing to put the whole Riku-business behind him after the harbor visit last summer, but Kairi wasn't. Once you claim you really liked somebody else in a fit a passion to your fiancée, it's a worthy cause for concern if that somebody returns to the scene. Honestly, his time with Riku had long since passed. He would be lying if he said he didn't feel the tiniest tug at his heartstrings whenever he remembered that one summer, at least the parts before everything went to shit. The kiss that they shared during 13 Hearts' performance at the pizzeria still had a way of shaking him to his very core some nights. However Sora was willing to forget about it, for Kairi's sake, but now that the chances of running into him had increased dramatically, it was something they had to discuss.

"I don't know. Roxas was acting really weird today… He asked me about Demyx."

"Your old prom date?"

Sora buried his face into her shoulder. "Augh. Yeah…" God, way to bring up ancient history. "And, I'm not sure, but I'm almost positive I saw one of the guitarists leave the theatre we were in during the middle of the movie. Roxas was texting during the film, something he never does, and he left shortly afterwards."

"So Roxas doesn't know anything about this, then?"

"Of course not! At least- I never told him. I don't want to be the family disappointment…"

"Oh please, your parents are two of the nicest people on earth. I don't think they're physically capable of being disappointed in you," she cooed, giving his flustered face a peck on the forehead.

"You say that, but I wouldn't put it past the band to tell him what went down."

"Well, look at it this way. If the band is still able to do shows and even relocate to a bigger city, that must mean they're doing okay. There's life after Sora Strife. Who knew?"

Sora didn't know how he was supposed to feel after that statement, but he didn't exactly feel good. He couldn't be upset at Kairi for it, because there was a sting of truth to her words. Despite everything horrible that happened last year, Sora was doing fine. Things got better. He moved on. Sora was obviously doing just fine without Riku.

And Riku was obviously doing just fine without Sora.

Right?

oooOOOooo

Two weeks later they decided to get divorced. It was a mutual decision. Kairi wasn't happy anymore. She still loved Sora, but it wasn't the kind of love one should feel for a partner. She didn't want to kiss him good night anymore. She didn't want to snuggle up to him in bed. Sora was acting too distant. This had been going on for much longer than both of them realized. Perhaps it had been going on since they decided to follow through with their wedding. Life as a married couple couldn't heal the rifts that had already started to grow between them.

Weeks later, with his best friend back by his side and a Hello Kitty bandaid on his cheek, Sora and Kairi announced their divorce to Roxas and Naminé.

By the end of November he and Roxas found an apartment together. A nice one, all things considered. The new appliances, carpet, and scenery worked wonders on both the boy's moods. Having Demyx around kept them preoccupied. Regular game nights and trips to the Drafthouse for movies kept Sora navigating from day to day.

It wasn't perfect, but it worked.

Roxas kept busy helping Naminé with her pregnancy. Both worked hard to wrap their heads around the idea that Marluxia Floris was involved in this mess. Roxas got a new job. He continued to focus heavily on school.

The world still turns, and just as Kairi said, there's life after Sora Strife.

But Sora Strife's life felt so insubstantial. While everyone else seemed to be moving forward, he was stuck in the past. Stuck on that one summer where he kissed a boy who bounced on the balls of his feet and sang songs in a garage band.

The memory haunted him until he went to the bar one night with his friends. A simple song gave him the push he needed to pursue life again.

"Out on the road today,

I saw an Adam Ant sticker on a cadillac…"

Sora almost threw up.

°o°

Somewhere in the time it took to tell the last part of his story, Sora had started crying. The violent sobbing kind of crying that made his body convulse as his lungs fought for air, like how he cried on his drive home from the harbor all that time ago. His eyes filled with tears, but nothing was falling. He found himself heaving into a firm, soft surface and soon realized it was the material of Riku's shirt. The punk's strong arms circled around Sora's shoulders and pulled him close.

"You're not gonna spew… are you, Upchuck?"

And suddenly, Sora was laughing with kind of laughter that only came from a great sense of solace. He tried to tamp it down so it didn't sound like hysterics, but he was so relieved. He gripped at the sides of Riku's shirt and tried not to get any snot on his chest.

"God," he cried, a smile threatening to split his face. "NO!" He took a couple deep breaths, trying to control himself.

Riku tucked his head in, giving Sora brief, small kisses to his neck and up to his jaw before resting their foreheads together. Sora refused to open his eyes, afraid of what he'd see in Riku's expression if he looked.

"Hey, look at me," Riku whispered. Of course he would notice. It just made Sora clench his eyes tighter and sniffle nervously. Riku sighed and moved his hand so his fingers rested on the curve of Sora's neck, thumb moving in reassuring circles on his jawbone. "Thank you for telling me all this," he said regardless. "It really meant a lot to me."

"I'm n-not s-scaring you off, am I?" Sora hated himself for stuttering, but he was still struggling to catch his breath. Riku's thumb reached up to wipe away a tear Sora hadn't realized had fallen.

"I should be asking you that…"

Sora breathed in deep, reaching to touch Riku's hands. "I was scared a long time ago," he stated, finding his voice. He finally gathered the courage to look Riku in the eye. What he found was an overwhelming awareness of strength and affection, the likes of which Sora had never seen before. "…But I'm back now."

When Riku grinned, it was like sunshine breaking through the clouds after a flood, foreign and welcomed all at once. "I'm glad." And when he said, he sounded like he meant it. He was genuinely happy to be in Sora's presence to the point that it made his voice tremor. Never in his life until this point had Riku ever wanted to kiss Sora's lips as much as he did right at that moment, yet he refrained. "There's still work," he said, hushed. "It won't be easy."

The warning fell on deaf ears. "Anything that keeps you in my life… if it means I get to wake up knowing you're there, it's worth it." Now Riku's eyes were starting to burn, tinged red with tears that threatened to spill. It made Sora smile wider, anything to keep Riku from crying. "I'm willing to try if you are."

"I'm a little scared," he admitted, voice slightly cracked. "But when I think about it, starting over with you doesn't sound so hard."

Riku was smirking, and that had Sora beaming. He wrapped his arms around Riku's shoulders and pulled him in close. Riku pulled Sora into his lap and held him, kissing his lips, his neck, his hair, anything he could reach.

They were already there, making the first big steps towards something greater, together.

oooOOOooo

Roxas woke up to the sound of the door slamming. He knew where he was without even having to open his eyes. His bedroom. Afternoon nap. His brother just came home and slammed the door unknowingly, like always. There was a big difference when he felt another body shifting beside him. Felt the breath of another person on his shoulder.

Finally, he cracked his eyes open and saw red. Axel's hair was still a little damp. They couldn't have been napping long, but Roxas felt so refreshed. His heart skipped a beat when Axel groaned softly and his eyes fluttered open to meet Roxas'. The punk smiled crooked. "Mornin' sunshine," he whispered.

It was a nice, private moment until Roxas remembered he woke up to the sound of the front door slamming and they were not alone.

"ROXAS!" his brother shouted from the living room. The sound of Sora's footsteps echoing down the hall seemed to shake the walls of Roxas' bedroom. The blond sat up quickly. Sora had the decency to knock twice and Roxas knew his brother would barge right through if given the opportunity. "Can I come in?"

"No." Roxas looked nervously down at Axel, who was starting to wake up fully. The newly reestablished redhead started glancing around the room for his pants. "I'm- I'm changing clothes. What do you want?" Axel found them in a pile near the door and made a show of pulling them on as slowly as possible for Roxas. The blond threw a pillow at his butt.

"I have awesome news! You won't believe it!"

"Ahuh…" Roxas said loudly, while mouthing silently at Axel a string of curses which amounted to begging him to make less sound as he moved around the room. After getting his pants back on, the punk all but jumped back into bed and started rummaging through his back pocket.

"I hung out with Riku last night," Sora said.

Axel glanced up at this, the lazy grin that had been on his face since waking up fading. He turned to Roxas. "I don't know how I feel about that," he whispered softly.

"Shh," Roxas replied. He spoke up again to Sora. "That's… cool. What'd you guys do?" He noticed Axel moving out of the corner of his eye and realized the punk had pulled a pack of cigarettes from his pocket and had stuck one loosely between his lips. It seemed like he was searching through another pocket for his lighter. Roxas panicked and flicked the cigarette out of his mouth. "Not inside."

"We just talked! It was the greatest thing ever! I told him about a lot of stuff and I think… we're gonna try it out."

Roxas and Axel glanced at each other. "Try it out?" Roxas asked, for clarification.

"Yeah, we're gonna try and… see if we work as a couple, I guess. It's exciting," Sora sighed happily. Meanwhile Axel seemed like he was going to burn holes into the bedroom door with his eyes.

"I think this is good," Roxas murmured. "You haven't hung out with Sora since that summer. It's really obvious he's crazy for him. It's embarrassing seeing him talk about it, actually."

"I still don't like it. What he did was unforgivable. It's like he's tempting him or something. Riku would never have agreed to it if we were around."

"He wouldn't have agreed to it because you would intimidate his decision making. He knows how you guys feel about him."

"Good! Sora should know what he did has consequences and sometimes those consequences are people hating him."

"You know, the way Riku explained it to me, you going behind his back to place a bet was the main reason why he chose to stay behind. Don't throw your misplaced aggression on my brother."

"Rox, c'mon, none of this would've-"

"He's my brother." Despite all evidence of the contrary, Roxas did care deeply for him. He thought Sora deserved a second chance, and was happy that Riku was willing to give him one. The punk gave him a look like he wasn't expecting the blond to talk back, but blue eyes held their glare and stubbornly put Axel in his place. Axel had been around 'blood of the coven' types for so long that he sometimes forgot about how important family family ties could be.

Axel made a mental note to call his mom later.

Regardless, he shook his head and sighed loudly. Green eyes raised towards the ceiling and stayed there for a moment, like Axel was having some sort of conversation with a higher power about what he should do next, before nodding and glancing back towards Roxas.

"…Rox?" Sora asked, sounding like he was standing with his face pressed up against the door.

Before Roxas could pull back, not that he would have, Axel leaned in and kissed him briskly on the lips. "Someday I hope you stand up for me the way you stand up for him."

Roxas smiled crookedly and shook his head. "I hate to crush your hopes but I've been covering your ass way before today and I get the feeling you're going to make me do it every chance you get." That was a flat-out lie. Roxas loved crushing his hopes and was eagerly anticipating defending Axel around every corner.

"…Oh my god. Is Axel still here?!" There was a short pause and the blond looked absolutely mortified.

"What?! Nnnn…" Roxas drawled out the single-syllable answer on the tip of his tongue when he glanced to Axel and caught the punk in mid-eyeroll, giving Roxas a deadpan look when he was done. Roxas grimaced and clenched his eyes shut. "…nnnnnnnyeah, he is. He totally is."

Axel took that as his cue. He jumped off the bed, knowing that Roxas wouldn't follow since he was undressed. As he threw the door open, Sora almost fell against him and he looked up shyly.

"Oh. Uh… hey, Axe."

Roxas had pulled the bedsheet up and was hiding behind in completely, his face burning scarlet. This was not happening.

"Let's set up a few ground rules. First, you break his heart again and you die. I'm not even joking. I know a guy. You are dead."

Sora didn't doubt it. He gulped, face white as a ghost. "Second?"

"No secrets. You-" Axel grit his teeth, glancing back at the embarrassed lump under the sheets in the bedroom. "We're family now. You wouldn't want anything bad to happen to Roxas, right?"

"Right."

"Well Riku's like my brother. Think big picture. You hurt him, you hurt me, you hurt Rox. Brings us to third, your actions aren't in a vacuum. Get it?" Sora nodded. "That's all you have to do. Act honestly. Be genuine. Love Riku, no secrets, no lying. Can you do those three things?"

Roxas could only imagine how terrified Sora was. Axel was a softy at heart but he wasn't afraid to use his image to intimidate. The blond was brave for a moment and peeked from behind the sheets to see what was going on. Axel blocked most of the doorframe, but he caught a glimpse of Sora smiling his usual, cheery smile at the defiant redhead.

"I will."

xxxXXXxxxXXXxxx

Thank you SO MUCH for reading! I am sorry it took almost a year to get this chapter out… I underestimated exactly how much I needed to write for this chapter (the rise and fall of two relationships, Sora's breakup with Demyx, working things out with Riku, somehow I thought I could fit this all in one chapter…) It ended up being just shy of 100 pages. My original goal was to get the chapter posted before July, but then in June my care broke down and there was a bunch of mess regarding my roommate situation. Week after week there was another life-stopping incident, and I told myself that if absolutely all else fade, the chapter had to be posted by AkuRoku day. So here we are!

There's only one chapter left of Ballad! Thankfully, it's mostly already written. Unfortunately, I'm going to be too busy between now and the end of October to even look at it. I hope to have it posted before the end of the year, but I'll just have to see how life goes. (I'm going to Japan in October! That's why I'm so busy! It's my first trip, so I'm very nervous and also very excited. If all goes according to plan, I'll be going to Tokyo Disney on my birthday!)

As always, please please please Like and leave comments. Reviews really help me feel like I'm not shouting into a void. The smallest of notes to the longest of essay-style responses mean so much to me!