Chapter 12
The following evening
"Hi," Danny greets as Syed walks in the door.
"Hi, you're back early," he responds; but his accompanying smile slips when he sees Danny's got company, a guy; and that they are both wearing very little.
"I took the afternoon off …," Danny begins, but Syed has already walked back out.
"Hey, what's wrong, where are you going?" he asks, catching up with him at the lift; his attempt at innocent puzzlement ruined by the gleam of triumph in his eyes.
"Syed?" he repeats, when he ignores him. He grabs Syed's hand to halt its impatient jamming at the button calling for the lift.
"You could have at least gotten rid of him before I got back," Syed hisses; abruptly turning on him, his eyes dark with anger.
"We lost track of time," Danny responds with a self-satisfied smirk; his voice silky smooth, his eyes challenging. Taking no chances, he grabs Syed's other hand, which has curled into a fist, before he can decide whether or not to use it.
And this is how Vince finds them; glaring at each other; faces close together. He watches them, intrigued; waiting for Danny to explain his presence. "Danny …" he prompts after a moment.
Without taking his eyes off Syed, he says, "Syed, this is my brother, Vince."
Syed takes a deep breath and slowly releases it, struggling to recover his composure. He throws Danny one last withering look, jerks his hands from his grip and slowly turns to face his brother.
Vince in appearance is about as different from Danny as it is possible for two brothers to be; with his hair slightly longer than Syed's, and as wild and untamed as Danny's is perfectly neat; his stubble threatening to become a beard; and his faded jeans and un-ironed t-shirt; all much more casual than Danny's smart, perfectly-groomed appearance. But he does have his mother's blue eyes.
"Hi Vince, it's nice to meet you," Syed says a little too brightly.
"Nice to meet you, too," Vince warmly responds shaking his outstretched hand. He notes Syed isn't quite able to maintain eye contact, and is now obviously embarrassed. "Excuse the state of undress; we've just come back from the pool," he explains, trying to put him at ease.
"The pool, of course," Syed says, not that he understands. "You decorated this place," he remembers as they re-enter the apartment.
"Yea, do you like it?"
"It's great, you did a wonderful job," he compliments. Casting a quick glance in Danny's direction, he gets a mockingly-surprised look in return.
"Tara and Vince decided to drop by unexpectedly; we went for lunch; and afterwards, they wouldn't let me return to the office, so we ended up in the park and eventually the pool," Danny brings him up to speed. "They insist, of course, that their being here has nothing to do with you," he adds with a knowing smile.
"We're actually here to discuss an important family matter," Vince says mysteriously.
"And you've had all afternoon to tell me what it is," Danny reminds him.
"It'll keep," he dismisses with a careless shrug.
"Your sister Tara is here?" Syed asks, quickly glancing around the apartment in case he's missed her.
"Sis, come and meet Syed," Danny calls.
A pretty, dark-haired girl walks out of one of the guest bedrooms wearing a bathrobe. "Hi, it's nice to finally meet you," she greets.
"You've only known about him since yesterday," Danny laughs.
"It's nice to meet you, too," Syed politely responds. "I'll just grab a shower and change of clothes, and then I'll be out of your way," he addresses the three of them; acting under the assumption that if Danny didn't want him spending time with his mother and aunt, he wouldn't want him around his brother and sister.
"You're not going anywhere, you're joining us for dinner," Danny commands.
"Or," Tara says dryly, "we would like it if you would join us for dinner."
"I'd be happy to," Syed responds, returning her friendly smile.
"Thanks for that, Tara," Danny says sarcastically.
"Anytime," she sweetly replies.
"Once we've showered and changed, Vince and I will do the cooking," he clarifies for Syed's benefit.
"Tara's a terrible cook, she burns everything," Vince adds, with a teasing look in his sister's direction.
"It's true," Tara proudly confirms.
#
And so, Syed finds himself sitting down to dinner with all three of the Pennant children. He carefully answers their questions about his situation, his family and how he met Danny; and then settles back to enjoy the interaction between the siblings. Once they get going, it becomes very obvious that they are indeed siblings: Tara and Vince will have a go at each other, but they seem to derive the most enjoyment from teasing their younger brother; and Danny (uncharacteristically, Syed would have said) loses his cool all too easily. Syed doesn't have to try too hard to imagine them as bickering children.
"So, did mum phone you as soon as she got home, to tell you what she thinks is going on?" Danny asks with a weary sigh at one point.
"She sent me a text from the hospital, and then she phoned me as soon as she got home," Tara reveals with a smile.
"I don't know why she's making such a fuss?"
"You kissed her on the cheek; she actually saw you smile," his brother reminds him.
"I'm not usually that bad," he protests.
"Danny, hon, you've been in a foul mood with her for years. Mum once asked me why they call it being gay, because you were a lot happier before you turned," Tara laughingly tells him.
"'I'd be a lot happier if she would stop using words like 'turned'," he growls irritably.
"She doesn't mean any harm; all she really wants to do is help you," Vince says, to wind him up even more.
"Maybe she'd be better off spending her time helping you not to be such a smart arse?" his brother duly obliges.
"Danny's the baby of the family," Tara explains. "Growing up, me and Vince were adequate offspring at best, but Danny was the apple of mum's eye. He knew exactly what to say to make her laugh, to get round her when he was in trouble."
"She didn't laugh very much when she found out he was gay," Vince says solemnly.
"No, he couldn't charm his way out of that one," Tara sighs.
"I could feel the immediate change in her," Danny reflects. "She couldn't bring herself to completely ignore me, the way dad did; but there was this new awkwardness whenever we happened to be in the same room; she couldn't talk properly to me any more; she avoided eye contact ...
The day I left for good; she stood in the doorway watching as I put my bags in the boot of the car, without a flicker of emotion on her face. She let me drive off without saying one word; nothing about love or regret; no motherly advice; not a word about keeping in touch.
And as I drove away, I had this flashback to a time, barely six years earlier, when she'd hugged me so tightly and cried buckets as we were saying goodbye. Such a fuss she made: reminding me to eat properly, to always stay with the group, to phone her every night … She completely embarrassed me in front of my mates," he remembers with a bitter-sweet smile, "and I was only going on a school trip to Paris for a week."
"Mum was devastated when Danny left home," Vince feels compelled to defend his mum. "For months she could barely raise a smile; and she was so quiet, nothing like her usual self."
"Yea, well, it was hardly a barrel of laughs for me either; discovering that my own mother, the person closest to me in the whole world, had basically woken up one morning and decided she couldn't love me any more," Danny angrily reminds him.
"You know that's not how it was for her," Tara gently insists.
"Well, that's exactly how it felt to me at the time," he barks. "I'll never understand how she could just switch her feelings off like that," he adds bleakly. Lifting a hand, he runs it distractedly through his hair; and, without thinking, Syed reaches across the table to catch it on its way back down.
Danny reads the concern in his eyes, and gives him an apologetic look. "Talking about mum, always sets me off," he weakly excuses, not wanting to spoil the evening for him.
Tara and Vince note the little exchange and share a meaningful look.
"Okay, enough gloom; we're here to celebrate Mum finally being able to fully embrace the idea of our Danny being gay," Tara optimistically reminds them.
"How do you figure that?" Danny asks skeptically.
"She told me," she defiantly responds.
"Mum actually said the words?" he asks, his tone disbelieving, the look on his face hopeful.
"She didn't have to; the way she spoke, the emotion in her voice; the sparkle in her eye …"
"You saw her? You met up with mum, after she left here yesterday?"
"She couldn't sit still or concentrate on anything at home, and of course she couldn't talk to my dad about why she was so agitated; so she got in the car and drove over. I honestly can't remember the last time I saw her so happy. She eagerly went over again everything she'd told me on the phone, but in more detail. I know all about you being grumpy and impatient, as per usual; but also about you finally letting your guard down a little and letting her see that you do still care; it meant so much to her." Tara's voice becomes a little emotional at the last.
"If you try to hug me, I'll give you a dead leg," Danny warns, as she starts to get up to reach for him. He can feel a warmth invading his cheeks as he imagines just how much his mum probably told her. "Whatever she told you, you can assume she was grossly exaggerating," he adds, without any hope of her believing him.
"Of course, she also told me about meeting you, and about how lovely you were," Tara says, turning to Syed. "She said that she felt much easier in her mind after your chat."
"Of course she liked Syed, he's a very likeable guy; that doesn't prove anything," Danny snaps impatiently; and then wishes he hadn't, as Vince is straight in with a playful poke in the ribs; a teasing look; his eyes gleaming mischievously, his grin from ear to ear; and Danny is horrified to feel himself getting all flustered like a school boy whose secret crush has been discovered.
"What's his favourite colour?" Vince whispers loudly in his ear, before Danny pushes him away.
"Crawl under a rock and die," he barks, automatically reverting to an insult casually bandied about when they were children.
Syed can't help a burst of surprised laughter at his words; the spell is broken, and Danny is soon laughing with him. Vince and Tara smile at each other, both happy to see their brother has finally found that special someone.
#
"This is a big step for mum, you know it is," Tara quietly insists once things have settled, her eyes on Danny; and he has no answer.
"Actually, I think it's more of a safety thing," Syed offers vaguely.
"She told me you were a very nice boy; they were her exact words," Tara responds encouragingly; looking directly at him, her eyes pleading.
"Well, I can't argue with that," he jokingly concedes, and she gives him a grateful smile.
"What exactly did you say to Mum?" Vince can't help asking.
"We talked about this and that, nothing in particular," Syed offers inadequately, unable to think of any part of their conversation he can pass on.
"Well, whatever it was, it worked; and now, the future happiness of the whole Pennant family depends on you," Tara pronounces.
"Whatever you do, don't exaggerate," Danny says sarcastically.
"The thing is … to be perfectly honest," Syed feels compelled to confess, "I think your mum might have got the wrong end of the stick yesterday…"
"So, I take it she sent you to do a bit of snooping; to find out how serious we are?" Danny asks amused.
"No, we're here to discuss an important family matter," Vince reminds him with a straight face.
"Well, we can't very well discuss it if you won't tell me what it is," he points out.
Tara takes a big dramatic breath, "George went missing yesterday afternoon," she somberly reveals.
"What?" Danny cries.
"Mum and dad spent ages looking, but they couldn't find him anywhere," Vince adds gravely.
Danny loses the power of speech; his face pales, and for a moment he looks like he might burst into tears.
"But he came back after a few hours," Tara hastily puts him out of his misery.
"You idiots," he shouts, pushing back his chair and jumping up; his eyes flashing with anger.
"Is he your dog? You didn't tell me you had a dog. What breed is he? What colour is he? How long have you had him?" Syed quickly hits him with some random questions, in an attempt to distract and hopefully avoid a major bust-up.
"He's our family dog, and he's a mongrel," Danny responds, his voice a little tight as he struggles to reign in his emotions, "we got him from the Pound when he was a pup; he's a mixture of black and white with little flecks of grey."
"George is our big, loveable, shaggy lump; the only member of the family Danny truly cares about," Tara elaborates. "I have to bring him to mine whenever he comes to visit so that they can be reunited, because Danny won't go to mum and dad's."
"He's a good dog," Danny mumbles.
"I'm sorry hon, I really didn't mean to upset you," Tara says regretfully. "Come and sit back down," she pleads.
"I told you, mum running up huge debts secretly gambling online, having to sell the house to pay off the debts; and her and dad having no choice but to come to live here in one of Danny's spare rooms because you and I don't have any spare rooms would have worked much better," Vince stirs, and gets a daggers look from his sister.
Taking a deep breath, Danny returns to the table. "You see what I have to put up with from these two," he grumbles.
"He loves us really," Vince says affectionately; reaching over to pull his brother into a hug.
"Maybe," Danny mumbles, biting down on a reluctant smile.
"Your dad …?" Syed asks.
"Not a good subject," Tara says, shaking her head.
"He and Danny don't talk," Vince adds.
"He's a homophobic asshole," Danny bluntly clarifies.
"His views, about pretty much everything, have always been a bit old fashioned," Tara attempts to defend. "Remember how strict he was when we were growing up; I remember mum once saying that he was just being overly protective because of all he'd seen on the streets. He was afraid for you; he knew how difficult life could be … the possible dangers …"
"So he figured that the best thing to do was to abandon me to my fate, is that it?"
"No, there were other issues, religious …"
"Please let's not get into all that bullshit again," Danny cuts across her, exasperated by a conversation they've obviously had many times before.
"He does care, you know," she gently assures. "He often asks mum how you're doing; and whenever I mention having seen you, I get the third degree: 'How did he look?', 'Is he taking proper care of himself?', 'Did he seem happy?'"
"Back last year, in the run up to Christmas; one evening, I suggested that the three of us go for a beer, but he refused," Vince admits. "The thing is, he looked so miserable; I could tell he really wanted to see you, but he couldn't let himself."
"It's his loss," Danny says dismissively. "If I never see him again, it won't bother me," he defiantly insists, his voice a little strained as he forces the lie.
"He's Nicki's brother," Syed confirms.
"He's met aunty Nicki," Danny reveals. "They chat when she comes to clean, but I'm not exactly sure what about," he adds uneasily.
"She completely dotes on our Danny; never had kids of her own," Vince explains.
"Danny stayed with her whilst he was at university," Tara adds.
"Oh, I see," Syed says. "So that was after your parents threw him out …"
"What are you talking about? What did Nicki tell you?" Danny growls.
"Nothing much, really," he tries to backtrack.
"Syed."
"She told me your dad threw you out after he caught you in a gay bar when you were 16, or maybe that wasn't exactly what she said … she said he was angry and you were defiant, but she wasn't completely clear ...," he tries to remember what Nicki did say about how it came about that Danny left home, but it was such a confusing mix of stories …
"He didn't throw me out, he and mum simply behaved in a way that made it very difficult for me to stay; and I was actually 17 at the time," Danny corrects.
"What were you doing when your dad caught you?" Syed impulsively blurts out.
"What do you think I was doing?" he asks suggestively, locking eyes with him; and Syed forgets the world around him as he stares helplessly back.
"Is it me, or is it getting hot in here?" Vince teases.
"Yea, any minute now, you're going to have a fire to put out," Tara laughs.
"I was playing pool," Danny says huskily, dragging his eyes away from Syed.
"And dad totally embarrassed him; dragged him away from the table and out the door with the whole pub watching," Vince eagerly paints the picture.
"And Danny was drunk," Tara chimes in.
"Yes, yes, it's all true," Danny reluctantly confirms.
"The last time I saw dad that angry was the time you cut his hair," Vince reminds them.
"Oh God, yea," Tara laughs. "Mum brought Danny for his first visit to the hairdressers, and when they got home he decided to have a go himself.
Dad had just finished a night shift and was lying on his side on the couch, asleep; and Danny went at his hair armed with a pair of scissors he'd found in mum's sowing basket. By the time mum walked in and discovered what he was up to, he'd cut all the hair on the one side of dad's head he could reach."
"It was really uneven; he took chunks out of it," Vince fondly recalls.
"Dad was so furious; but all mum cared about was that Danny could easily have cut himself with the sharp scissors."
"I was only five," Danny whines.
"Dad had to have his hair cut really short to even it out; army style, which definitely wasn't a good look for him; and it took ages to grow back," Vince grins.
"Yea, well, mum caught Vince with drugs," Danny tell-tales.
"He had a bag of pot hidden in his sports bag under his bed, and mum found it when she was hovering," Tara shamelessly spills.
"Yea, and I was only 16 at the time," Vince proudly boasts.
"Tara bit the postman's hand," Danny tries.
"No, I didn't," she laughs; "it was our old dog, Max. Dad used to call him mad Max, because whenever anyone came into our yard, he would charge at them barking like crazy.
Max and I both knew when the postman was due each day; and if mum and dad weren't around, I'd let him out," she confesses with a giggle.
"Yea, and that was only last week," Vince adds.
"No, it wasn't," Tara laughingly denies. "I was probably about six or seven at the time, and Max was barely more than a puppy. As far as he was concerned, our yard was his area to patrol. And it wasn't just people; if a bird, cat or squirrel dared to enter, he would charge at them, too; but he wasn't a dangerous dog; he was a barker, not a biter."
"So, why did he bite the postman?" Vince wonders.
"Our regular guy knew what to expect; he never paid Max any attention. It was the postman covering whilst he was on holiday that Max accidentally bit. It was a simple misunderstanding; if the guy hadn't panicked when he saw him running towards him at great speed and barking loud enough to wake the dead ..."
"You're all very naughty Pennant children," Syed chides with a smile.
"And I suppose you've never done anything to upset your parents?" Tara challenges.
"No, nothing," he replies without hesitation, whilst being careful to avoid looking anywhere near Danny.
"We'll find out everything in time, don't you worry," Vince promises with an evil grin.
"So, you're a fireman?" Syed quickly moves them along.
"Yup, it's a tough job but somebody's got to do it," he responds with a long-suffering sigh.
"Has it been a difficult week?" Danny asks sympathetically.
"No, no more than usual," he assures.
"It must feel wonderful to save someone's life," Syed muses.
"It doesn't happen every day, and sometimes you arrive too late; but it is an amazing feeling, when it does happen," Vince admits. "And, of course, the ladies are always impressed when you tell them you're a fireman," he grins.
"Don't listen to him," Tara scoffs, "Vince loves his job; I don't know how many times he's cancelled a date to work an extra shift."
"It does have its moments," he concedes. And he goes on to tell them a few hair-rising stories; illustrating the risky nature of the job, but also offering some heart-warming and surprisingly-funny moments.
#
"I don't think we've got anything for desert?" Danny says doubtfully after they've finished dinner. "Would anyone like a coffee? I can make it Irish."
"There's some chocolate cake," Syed offers.
"Yes, please," Tara accepts, her eyes lighting up. "I'll make the coffees," she suggests, following him to the kitchen.
#
"You'll both have to come to mine; I want you to meet my husband Kieran and our two little ones," she tells Syed as they remove plates and glasses from the cupboard. "We're having a barbecue in a couple of weeks, if the weather holds up."
"It sounds nice," Syed says, but her warmth and kindness make him feel uneasy. He likes her, and he likes Vince, and is starting to feel a bit rotten about letting them think he's something he's not. The idea of getting even more involved with Danny's family, and telling even more lies …
"Vince will be there; and mum and aunty Nicki," she continues, "mainly family and a few friends; and you'll get to meet George, your only competition for Danny's heart."
But he can't do it; he can't spend a whole day with Danny's family under false pretenses. "Tara, I'm sorry, I won't be able to come," he reluctantly declines. "But I'm sure Danny …"
"If you're worried about anyone being off with you, you needn't be," she assures. "Everyone in our circle knows Danny is gay; they wouldn't be in our circle, if they had a problem with it. You'll probably get a few inquisitive questions to begin with, but …"
"I'm not worried about that," Syed says huskily, "it's just … me and Danny … it's not the way it seems."
"It's not?" she asks, surprised.
"We're not really … its complicated …," he trails off, hating the idea of ruining things. "I'm sorry if we gave you and Vince the impression that we were … together, we really shouldn't have," he adds miserably. "I did try to explain to your mum yesterday …"
Tara thoughtfully studies him for a moment: the way his eyes are now glued to the cake in front of him; afraid to meet hers, as he waits for her to kick off. "I must say, this is the last thing I expected you to say," she finally admits.
"You should speak to Danny; you don't have to mention that I said anything, but if you ask him …"
"You know, you're the first guy he's ever introduced us to."
"He had no choice, I walked in," Syed murmurs.
"It was Danny who suggested we stay for dinner; he knew you'd be home; he knew we wanted to meet you, and it didn't bother him. I actually think he was glad we were making such a fuss. He couldn't wait for you to get home, he kept discretely checking his watch; it was so adorable," she sighs.
"You don't know the whole story …"
"And did you notice that he hasn't checked his phone or his emails the whole evening? I can't remember the last time that happened."
"I don't always understand what's going on in his head," Syed reveals, without really meaning to. "He'll say or do something that seems to show that he cares; and then he'll say or do something to remind me that I'm just another guy."
"But you like him."
"He's okay," he murmurs self-consciously.
"Oh, I think it's a bit more than that," she responds, amused. "I see the way you look at him, the way you drift almost into a trance, gazing back at him when he looks at you that way. And earlier, when we were chatting, whilst Danny and Vince were in the kitchen cooking; more than once, you lost track of what you were saying and your eyes drifted away from me when Danny laughed at something Vince said."
"You're imagining things," Syed weakly denies.
"We both know I'm not," she smiles, "so I'm thinking that you and Danny need to have another chat about what you actually are; a more honest chat, perhaps."
"Um, maybe," Syed responds unconvincingly.
"I know talking about feelings with my brother can be a bit of a nightmare," she sighs, "but I also remember how miserable he was when you let him down last year. Of course, he refused to tell me what was wrong, so I had to find out about you from Aunty Nicki, she's a mine of information; and anything she doesn't know, she can find out."
"Or make up," Syed murmurs without thinking.
"You already know her so well," Tara laughs delightedly.
"I'm sorry; I didn't mean to be so rude," Syed cries, dismayed.
"Don't worry, you're spot on," she quickly reassures, "as long as Nicki has part of the story, she's more than happy to guess the rest."
"She's a nice lady," Syed says sincerely.
"One of the best," Tara fondly agrees.
"Tara, please don't say anything to Danny about what we've talked about," Syed suddenly, anxiously pleads.
"Of course I won't; I won't tell a soul, I promise," she immediately assures, reaching out to give his hand a comforting squeeze.
"Thank you," he warmly responds; his grateful smile freezing on his face when he looks past her and sees Danny.
"Need any help?" he asks neutrally.
"I made one of the Irish coffees, but it fell," Tara grimaces.
"You really are hopeless," he responds, his tone affectionate. "Here, let me do it; go and keep Vince company."
Tara walks off, leaving them alone.
"Are you trying to cut the cake using laser beams from your eyes, or do you plan to use the knife you're holding?" Danny asks when Syed stands nervously studying it.
"Yes, of course," he quickly responds, pulling himself together and hastily tackling the task at hand.
"Careful," Danny cries, but it's too late: Syed has made a clumsy stab at the cake with the knife; the plate has moved, he has gone in with his other hand to grab it to stop it falling to the floor, and the knife has sliced his hand.
"Mmm," he murmurs faintly, looking in shock at the blood pouring from the cut.
"It's okay," Danny quickly assures; immediately at his side, grabbing him around the waist as he starts to sway. He gently leads him to the sink and runs his hand under the cold water. Once the bleeding has slowed, he grabs some kitchen towel to press against the wound; and then puts him sitting before rushing off to get the first aid box.
#
"It's not deep, you'll be fine," he soothes, as he gently cleans the cut and bandages his hand.
"I wasn't going to say anything about the money," Syed says softly.
"I didn't think you were," he responds, with a smile.
"Tara invited us to a barbecue; she wanted me to meet her husband, her children; I felt guilty for misleading her."
"You're not misleading to her," Danny says softly. He kisses him tenderly, reassuringly.
Afterwards, they look at each other, saying nothing.
Danny lifts his bandaged hand to his lips and kisses it. "I think you'll live," he gently teases.
"Maybe we should leave; they probably won't even notice," they hear Tara suggesting to Vince in what she probably thinks is a hushed tone.
"Okay, we're being bad hosts," Danny decides. "You go and chat to them; I'll make the coffee and cut the cake."
Syed walks back to the table.
"Sorry it's taking so long, I accidentally cut my hand," he explains, showing his bandaged hand as proof.
"Oh God, is it really painful?" Tara asks, concerned.
"No, its fine," he dismisses.
"Are you sure that's all it was?" Vince asks innocently. "Because I'm pretty sure I saw Danny giving you mouth-to-mouth just now."
"Shut up Vince," Tara orders.
"Yea, shut up Vince," Syed laughs.
Danny arrives with a tray of Irish coffees, apple juice, chocolate cake and ice cream; and they carry on chatting for a while longer; now moving on to more general topics. There is a lively debate when they get around to talking about the economy and the bank bailouts; and Vince gets to have a go at investment bankers and their irresponsible behaviour, with Syed and Tara eagerly backing him up. Danny bats back with a reminder that the fire fighters went out on strike on bonfire weekend, something he considers shockingly irresponsible. Syed and Tara profess themselves equally distressed that such a thing could happen. But Vince manages to deflect with a dramatic story which ends with him rescuing an adorable little puppy from a raging fire only that week; he, coincidentally, has a photo of himself with the puppy on his phone which adds emotional weight. Tara, however, thinks she may have seen the photo before, and that the dog looks awfully similar to the Fire Brigade's Dalmatian mascot; something Vince easily dismisses, insisting that all Dalmatians look alike.
The conversation drifts back and forth between serious discussion and light-hearted banter; and at the end of the night, they part on very good terms; with the promise to meet up again for a drink the following week. Danny makes a half-hearted attempt at having a moan about seeing his siblings again so soon, but nobody pays him any attention.