Chapter 16
A few days later
"I was about to knock," Tamwar quickly explains when Danny opens the door unexpectedly to find him standing outside. "There was someone else, one of your neighbours, perhaps, on their way out the front door, and they let me in."
"Tamwar," Danny greets, surprised. "If you're looking for Syed, he's not here; I thought he was at the restaurant."
"He is."
"Which means that ... you're lost?"
"No, I came to speak to you," Tamwar clarifies in all seriousness.
"Right. Well, I guess you'd better come in," Danny gravely suggests.
Tamwar walks past him into the apartment. "This is ... nice," he offers stiffly.
"It does the job."
"I suppose," he responds, without adding anything further.
"You wanted to speak to me about something," Danny prompts.
"Are you in love with Syed?" Tamwar blurts out a question he had planned on slowly working up to.
"Would you like something to drink?"
"Um ... thank you. Do you have orange juice?"
"Of course," Danny responds, as he heads to the kitchen.
"Syed and I are not in any kind of conventional relationship; it suits us to be together for now; it's more about business than anything else," he explains from behind the fridge door.
"Right," Tamwar responds unsurely. He accepts the glass of juice, and takes a long drink. Not quite sure how to continue, he looks around him. His whole plan depended on Danny having fallen under his brother's spell, something he automatically assumed would have ... "
"Was there anything else?" Danny nudges him along.
"There was something … I came here to ask for your advice …" His eyes drifting around the room, come unexpectedly on a picture of his mum, and she is staring straight at him with one of her familiar scowling expressions. "Actually, this probably wasn't such a good idea. I should leave," he abruptly decides, handing the glass back to Danny. "Thank you for the drink."
"Hold on, what do you need advice for?" Danny stops him.
"It's nothing important ... just something to do with Christian."
"Christian?"
Tamwar holds back a smile at the way he spits the word out.
"Like I said, it's nothing … you're probably not the best person to speak to … it was an impulsive decision to come here, a bad one … After what happened at lunchtime … Look, can you please forget I was here … don't mention anything to Syed ..."
"What happened at lunchtime?"
"It was nothing really ..."
"Oh my God, how long does it take you to get to the point?" Danny cries in exasperation.
"Roxy knocked two plates of food out of Syed's hands. He didn't react, he never does. He apologised to me for the disruption, and disappeared for a bit. When he returned, it was as if nothing had happened."
"Roxy? As in Roxy and Christian? They've been giving him a hard time?"
"They get drunk, come to the restaurant, make enough noise to disturb the other diners; sometimes a bit more than that. The main aim seems to be to embarrass Syed, to make sure no one forgets what he's done. I've asked Christian to back off. l've barred him a couple of times."
"Technically, you should only have to bar someone once," Danny points out.
"Christian's not listening to anyone at the moment; he's upset and lashing out. Even when I manage to persuade him and Roxy to leave, they sometimes wait outside and have a go at Syed as he walks down the street on his way home; with everyone watching. It doesn't happen every day, but often enough to make life difficult."
"I see," Danny says quietly.
"I don't know what else to do ..."
"Leave it with me, l'll have a word," Danny decides, his tone suggesting it might be more.
"I don't expect you to do anything specific," Tamwar quickly clarifies. "I just thought you, with your … um ... experience; that you might be able to think of a way for me to deal with this … problem ... but legally, of course ... I could never do anything that wasn't ... that is ... That was my plan," he finishes off lamely.
"I've heard better," Danny says dryly.
"I couldn't go to dad; I don't think Syed would be able to bear the humiliation of having him come to his rescue yet again. You were the only other person I could think of who might be willing to help ... who might be familiar with this ... type of situation."
"You want me to arrange for Christian to have a little ... accident ..."
"What? No, NO, of course not ..." He stops when he sees that Danny is smiling.
"You've never … killed anyone, have you?" he can't help asking.
"No, but I'm still young, and I'm always eager to expand my CV. 'Try everything once,' as my grandmother used to say."
"I don't think she meant ... You're joking."
Danny smiles.
"I spoke to Jane, Christian's sister, to ask her to have a word; but she had no sympathy for Syed, which is understandable. I've thought about going to the police, to ask them to, maybe, caution Christian; but I don't want to get him into any kind of trouble. Not that I could involve them, even if I wanted to; around our way, you don't go to the police unless someone turns up dead, and sometimes not even then."
"We won't be needing the police," Danny assures.
"Right," Tamwar says warily.
"I'll take care of everything."
"I don't want you to take care of everything, I just want your advice."
"No one will be able to trace it back to you."
"Trace what?" he squeaks.
"You can't let people get away with disrespecting you or your family."
"What?"
"I'll make him an offer he can't refuse."
"Will you stop talking like a gangster in a film," Tamwar snaps.
"Okay, okay," Danny holds up his hands. "In all seriousness, you don't have to worry about Christian and Roxy. They won't be bothering you or Syed again."
"Because they'll be ... dead?"
"No," he laughs.
"Promise me you won't hurt them," Tamwar anxiously pleads.
"I promise I will only hurt them if I have to, how about that?"
"To be honest, it's not great. I suppose it's too late to ask you to forget all about this."
"I really hate to cut this short; but when you arrived, I was about to head for a meeting with a client." Danny reluctantly brings the conversation to a close.
"Of course. I also need to get back before Syed misses me." Tamwar remembers. "Thank you for ... whatever this was," he vaguely offers.
"Do you work every night?"
"Most nights."
"But if you needed a night off, you could get cover."
"I suppose mum or dad would be prepared do a shift."
"Okay; so, let's say Thursday, you'll come for dinner," Danny decides.
"There's no need."
"I know there isn't," Danny smiles.
"Promise me you won't ..."
"I promise," Danny says with an unreassuring smile before closing the door behind him.
The following morning
"It's Danny Pennant, I need a quick word."
After a short silence, the door is released allowing him to enter and climb the stairs to the flat.
"Make it quick," Christian says icily, without taking his eyes off the TV.
"Stay the fuck away from Syed. How's that?"
Christian slowly gets up and turns to face him. "I'm impressed. I really thought he'd met his match this time; and yet, here you are, after only a few weeks, fighting his corner."
"You got boring, he lost interest, just like I told you he would; which means that you now have two options: move on or piss off back to Birmingham."
"Or what? You'll use your fists again?"
"Maybe." Danny's smile is cold.
"I have a better idea, why don't you and Syed do everyone a favour and piss off somewhere, permanently. Take all the money you've stolen from people, and use it to make a fresh start somewhere a little more exciting than Walford; apparently Syria's meant to be beautiful this time of year."
"Syed's going nowhere; he has family and friends ..."
"What friends?" Christian sneers contemptuously.
"You know, he doesn't give a shit about you now. Would you like his take on your relationship?"
"This should be fascinating."
"If he'd had his way, it would only ever have been about sex ..."
"Really? That's what he told you?"
"... convenient, discreet, no-strings sex. When you got all clingy and needy, he told you what you wanted to hear to keep you quiet. He was sick to death of your whining long before he finally walked away."
"Okay, so you're saying that he gave up his family; faced the rejection of his religious community; he moved in with me; married me. He did all this, even though it was only ever about sex – seriously?"
"He liked you well enough in the beginning. It was only after he moved into the flat that he realised how little you had to offer beyond the ... obvious."
"So why stay with me for two years?"
"His options were limited. With you there was ear ache and sex, with Zainab it was just ear ache. His words, not mine.
"They don't sound like his words …"
He started the business with his ex-wife because he was desperate to make enough money to be able to dump you and move on."
"I would have thought you'd be the type of guy who would know when he was been fed a line," Christian flippantly responds. And yet … having his own secret fears read back to him ..."
"Syed thanks God every day for having saved him from the nightmare of having to bring up a child conceived by you and that rough blond you hang around with?"
This last hits the mark. Hardly anyone knew they had attempted to get pregnant with Roxy. Only Syed could have told Danny something so personal; which meant that he and Syed had been completely at odds over something so important, something that had meant so much to him …
Danny watches the emotions flickering across his face; he sees the moment Christian begins to doubt ...
"Get out," Christian commands, his voice tight with pain. The light of triumph in Danny's eyes fills him with rage. His instinct is to rush at him, to beat him senseless; but for the first time in his life he is afraid to act, afraid of taking a beating. "I'm getting old," the thought comes unbidden, bringing him low. He closes his eyes against the world's harsh reality; and, for a moment, his thoughts drift back to a perfect time in his life; when he woke up every morning with a smile on his face and rushed to get to work at the Masala Queen, blissfully happy because he was going to spend his day cooking endless amounts of food with only Syed for company, if he was lucky. "I didn't even like cooking," he thinks with a bittersweet pang.
As a stray tear slides down Christian's cheek, Danny hesitates ..."
The game is over, all is lost. And then, he remembers walking in the door of the Masala Queen; their eyes meeting, an unspoken message passing between them; he remembers Syed's big smile, his eyes shining with ... love; and Christian knows the truth beyond words. "Syed did love me once," he says quietly, but firmly.
"Of course he did," Danny taunts. "He loved you so much, he did everything he could to avoid having to marry you. He loved you so much, he tried to avoid adopting or surrogating a child with you. He could barely tolerate your best friend, he was embarrassed by your loud, brash behaviour. In the end, everything you did irritated him. And let's not forget that whilst you were busy planning your wedding, he was off fucking another man. Tell me, what more could he have done for you to get the message?"
Christian turns away. He goes to sit back down on the couch.
"Don't kid yourself that you were ever anything more to him than a piece of ass."
"You can leave now," he says calmly.
"Happy to," Danny responds. "Be sure to pass my message on to your friend; let her know that I'm not the sort of guy who would hesitate to give a bird a slap if I thought she needed it."
Christian doesn't respond.
Later that day
"Look who has dropped by to say hello," Syed announces, walking in the door with his beautiful little daughter by his side.
"Yasmin," Zainab cries, rushing forward to enfold her in a big hug. They enter the sitting room, where Christian is waiting.
"Hey, sweetie," he greets huskily, as Jasmin runs to him, arms outstretched. "I've missed you so much," he adds, his eyes welling up.
"Hi," Syed says tentatively.
"Syed," he responds tensely. "Thank you for letting me see her."
"She's your daughter as well as mine; I would never try to stop you spending time with her."
"Does Danny know about this?"
"He doesn't … we haven't …
"You're keeping secrets, what a surprise."
"Christian, please …"
"Why keep this from him, when you've told him everything else?"
"What are you taking about?"
"You know exactly what I'm talking about," Christian shouts angrily.
"No arguments or harsh words in front of Yas," Syed anxiously insists.
"Of course not," Christian responds sharply; and they are careful to say very little to each other after that.
###
"Right, I'm here; where's the fire?" Danny demands, as he strides purposefully into the Argee Bhajee at a little after midday the next day.
"Danny, hi, thanks for coming; give me two minutes," Syed greets, before quickly disappearing into the kitchen to drop off some plates.
"Your message said it was urgent," he calls after him.
"You're a definite improvement."
Danny turns at the sound of a woman's voice behind him. "Sorry, have we met?" he asks uncertainly.
"I'm Amira, Syed's ex-wife," she explains, offering her hand in greeting.
"And this must be Yasmin," he guesses, stooping down to say hello to the little girl in the push chair.
"Amira, hi, I didn't expect to be seeing you today," Syed greets on his return. "This is my friend Danny," he introduces them.
"We've just met, and he's your boyfriend," Amira corrects with a wiry smile.
"Hey Yas, how's my best girl," he coos, bending down to give his daughter a kiss on the cheek.
"Danny, can you wait five minutes? I need to help Tam with a couple of things in the kitchen."
"I don't know how many minutes I've got, because you haven't told me why I'm here," he reminds him.
"Great, thanks. Yas, would you like to come and say hello to uncle Tam?
Amira, we won't be long," he assures, handing her and Danny a couple of drinks.
Before she can comment either way, he and Yasmin are out of sight in the kitchen.
"So, you succeeded where I failed, you managed to rescue Syed from Christian," she remarks.
"Christian and Syed had run their course long before I arrived on the scene," Danny dismisses.
"I'm not sure Christian would see it that way."
"Not my problem," he shrugs.
"I'll be honest, I'm not getting a gay vibe; sure you're not just confused," she chances, giving him a flirtatious look as she runs her hands through her hair to leave it pretty much exactly as it had been before she'd touched it.
"You, on the other hand, look exactly like the sort of girl a guy would use as a beard," he coolly responds
"Excuse me," she cries angrily.
"I'm gay; I don't do women, so put your silly little girl act away and we'll get on fine. Are you here for a particular reason?"
"We were in the neighbourhood, so we decided to drop by," Amira automatically explains, flustered at being so blatantly put in her place. "Yasmin dropped her favourite bear when they were in the park yesterday, and Christian forgot he'd put it in his coat pocket; we ..."
"Christian?"
Oh dear, you don't know, do you?" she smirks, at his obvious surprise. "Syed's keeping secrets again, I see," she adds with a satisfied smile.
"Yasmin's Syed's business; he knows I wouldn't be interested in hearing about his childcare arrangements," Danny diverts.
"Even though they include his husband?" she presses.
"Been there, done that; he's got lots of colourful t-shirts," he reminds her, apparently unbothered.
"You're a lot less emotional than Christian."
"I should think it would be impossible to find anyone more emotional than Christian."
"So, you and Syed, was it love at first sight?"
"We've just met, you're not my shrink."
"And you're dodging the question," she points out.
"I'm surprised Syed managed to keep his sexuality from you for so long," Danny deflects.
"What's that supposed to mean?" she asks sharply.
"Nothing, nothing at all."
Returning with Yasmin, Syed senses the tension immediately. "Is everything okay?" he asks anxiously, looking between their hostile expressions.
"Yasmin and I need to leave now; we're going to visit cousin Ayesha," Amira informs him, her voice icy.
"Darling, it's time to say goodbye to daddy." She softens her tone for her daughter.
"I'll see you very soon," Syed promises, giving his daughter a hug and a goodbye kiss.
"Turning the push chair in the direction of the door, Amira leaves without saying another word.
"Did you say something to upset her?" he demands as soon as the door closes behind them.
"And if I did?" Danny challenges.
"Yasmin is very sweet," he adds, when Syed looks worried, but hesitates to press him further.
"She's perfect; it would kill me not to be able to see her, be part of her life."
"Have you got a legal agreement with Amira to ensure that never happens?"
"No."
"So you're relying on keeping her sweet, bowing to her every whim."
"Amira's a good person."
"I'll take your word for it."
"I don't want to fall out with her. Because I've hurt her in the past, I've no right to demand anything of her now."
"Sounds like a plan; it wouldn't be my plan, but it's your business," Danny says with a shrug.
"She's agreed to let me have Yasmin for a couple of days each week; and I was wondering how you would feel about bringing her to the apartment, just for a few hours now and then?" Syed asks nervously.
"You can have her there any time you want."
"Are you sure ...?"
"Just because I don't obsess about them day and night, doesn't mean I don't like children," Danny cuts across him, his voice tense with irritation.
"Are you annoyed about something? Did Amira ...?"
"I can handle women like Amira; there's not much mystery to them."
"Why are you being like this?"
"I'll bet a woman like that would have no problem getting hold of some serious cash; wonder if she'd be interested in a little investment opportunity ...?"
"Danny, don't you dare," Syed almost shouts. "Her father; he's dangerous; he beat up Christian."
"I know; it's like, he's just so incredibly annoying, everything about him; you just want to give him a slap."
"It wasn't like that; it was because of Amira; when he found out about me and Christian …"
"I suppose it's understandable. Did he give you a slap as well?"
"I wasn't around."
"You ran away when the shit hit the fan, did you?"
"I didn't know he was going to come looking for me. At the time, I wasn't thinking straight … If I'd had any idea …"
"When things go wrong, you sacrifice others to save yourself," Danny unexpectedly accuses, his tone icy.
"It was never that simple. I hate hurting people; letting them down."
"And yet somehow it always ends up with someone else taking the fall for your mistakes."
Syed has no response, no defence. He looks away, embarrassed.
"You can't keep doing that."
"Let he who is without sin ..." he mumbles.
"We're not talking about me," Danny relentlessly pursues.
"That last time, I couldn't have known that Janine would disappear, leaving me with a load of stock nobody wanted," he offers unconvincingly.
"The first rule of business; you have a contingency plan."
"I know," Syed wearily accepts.
"The first rule of life; family is sacred, you never bring your troubles to their door."
"I love my family."
"So why can't they trust you?"
"I've apologised ... I made a promise ..."
"How's that any good to anybody?"
"For God's sake, what's bothering you?" Syed cries.
"Don't change the subject," Danny barks.
"I've managed to pay back to my dad a little of what I owe ..."
"Not good enough. You have to make serious sacrifices so that you can pay back every penny as quickly as possible. Otherwise, changes in circumstances will cause you to make other plans further down the line, and the debt will be forgotten. Your family deserve better than that."
"You're right, I know you're right," Syed reluctantly agrees.
"Once you've cleared your debts, you can move on with your life with a clear conscience."
"It would be nice to have my family's respect."
"Pay your debts and you'll deserve it."
"It's not just about money; my behaviour ..."
"If you keep a clean sheet; in ten years time, it'll be old news."
"Is it really that simple?"
"Of course it is."
Syed smiles, "I like that," he says huskily, the thought comforting.
"Great," Danny says sarcastically.
"Okay, you're obviously angry with me. Did Amira tell you something ...?"
"Is there something she could have told me?"
"No, of course not," Syed denies a little too quickly.
"You know, I really don't need this bullshit; I'm going back to work," Danny snaps irritability, abruptly turning to leave.
"Hang on, don't go," Syed says softly; his hand gentle on Danny's arm, his look gently persuasive. "Tell me what's bothering you."
Danny looks into his eyes without speaking for a moment.
"Is it about the money?" he chances.
"Money?"
"Maybe you've had similar feelings of guilt about the money you took from people. Maybe you'd also like to find a way to make amends," Syed has the idea, seemingly from nowhere.
"Are you kidding me?" Danny cries in disbelief.
"Or maybe not ..."
"His many fucking times ... I'm not you, I don't agonise over these things. As far as I'm concerned, it's in the past; done, finished."
"I suppose these ... people, they're probably long gone by now; and if you did manage to find any of them, they'd most probably be straight onto the police before you could explain that you wanted to make amends for what you'd done." Syed comes to the comforting conclusion.
"Yea, I simply can't risk it," Danny helpfully agrees.
"So, there's nothing you can do."
"No," he solemnly confirms.
Syed looks thoughtful for a moment. "Charity," he remembers with a growing smile.
"Excuse me?"
"Do you ever give to Charity?"
"The bank has something set up, I think it comes out of my salary automatically …"
"That's too easy; you need to be personally involved. From now on, each week when we do the big shop on a Friday night, we'll spend an extra £20.00-30.00 on toiletries. I can take them to the walk-in centre, and hand them out to the homeless who come for breakfast in the mornings."
"If I agree, will you promise never to bring any of this up again?" Danny demands through gritted teeth.
"Of course," Syed smiles.
"Fine."
"And you could also put a charity box in the kitchen at work, send round an email ..."
"No," he barks.
"Okay, okay," Syed quickly retreats.
"I didn't know you were in the habit of serving breakfasts at a walk-in centre," Danny remarks.
"When I first arrived in Leeds, I had no money, which meant that I couldn't afford to pay the Zak*t."
"The Zak*t?"
"The third pillar of Isl*m, compulsory charity giving."
"Isn't it only compulsory if you're earning enough money to be able to pay it?"
"I started contributing from my first paper round when I was 11; I'd never missed a year ..."
"So you started volunteering at a walk-in centre."
"Yea. It was the first positive thing I'd done in a while, and it helped me find my way back to a state of grace; it helped to ease my guilt over losing my parents' money. When I prayed, I felt God was listening to me; I didn't feel so alone."
"You didn't make any friends in Leeds?"
"No, not so much," Syed admits.
"On the surface, you seem to get on with people ..."
"On the surface," he smiles. "The problem is that I don't really fit in anywhere, I never have."
"Because you're gay?" Danny asks surprised.
"It depends which group you're talking about."
"Your religious community would struggle more with it ..."
"Yes," Syed smiles at the understatement.
"But they wouldn't necessarily need to know you were gay ..."
"But I would know," Syed says quietly.
"And everyone else?"
"I'm not quite liberal enough to fit in with everyone else," he admits with a forced smile.
"Are you sure you're not just being overly self-conscious ...?"
"Have you ever gotten the impression that you could talk to a person for hours and never really know them?"
"I suppose so."
Well, I'm that person."
"Maybe," Danny says doubtfully.
"I find it difficult to open up to people; friendships are formed and strengthened over shared confidences."
"You opened up to me that very first day."
"I'm also, apparently, a very poor judge of character," Syed remarks.
"After we left the restaurant, I was supposed to return with Tom and Gerry to their offices to continue working, but I knew I wouldn't be able to concentrate on anything to do with work until I'd spoken to you. So, I invented a call from a neighbour letting me know about a break-in at the flat."
"Your lunch colleagues were called Tom and Gerry?" Syed laughs.
"Yea," Danny smiles. "They met at Uni, became good friends and built a successful business together."
"Are they your friends?"
"They're clients. Some clients like the illusion that it's about more than business, that we're mates; and I can play along because it suits me, because it's worth my while."
"How far would you be prepared to go for money?" Syed asks uneasily.
"If you're asking me if I'd have sex with a client to keep them happy, then I would have to say that the answer would depend on how hot they were."
"Sometimes, I don't like you very much," Syed snaps irritably.
"I've had sex with a few of my clients in the past, I won't lie to you," Danny deliberately offers the unwelcome insight. "There was this one time, a few years ago, with one of my most important clients; we'd just closed a massive takeover deal. Matt and Andy, the managing director and president, threw a party for the whole team on the top floor of an exclusive hotel; the champagne was flowing; trays of cocaine were being passed around; there may have been food ... When I woke the next morning, I was lying naked on a very large bed in one of the hotel's suites; Matt was sucking my ..."
"Danny," Syed cries horrified.
"... and Andy was busy licking my ..."
"I DON'T WANT TO KNOW."
"How could that possibly shock you, considering all you know about me?" Danny asks in amazement. "And aren't you bring a little hypocritical; we both know how much you like it when I lick …"
The palm of Syed's hand lands over his mouth with such speed and force, his lips are crushed against his teeth and he is forced back a couple of steps.
"We are in my brother's restaurant," Syed hisses the reminder. "Tam could walk out at any moment."
"You're the only one shouting," Danny reminds him, laughter in his voice. He slides his arms around Syed's waist and pulls him up against him. "All this talk of sex …"
"No," Syed cries, angrily pushing him away, "I won't let you make a fool of me."
"I'm not making a fool of you," Danny gently assures; seeing Syed is close to tears, he drops the teasing tone.
"You've just admitted you're having sex with other men," Syed unhappy reminds him.
Masood, on his way in the front door, quickly turns back around.
"I'm not. All that was before ..."
"When did you last have sex with someone other than me?" Syed weakly pleads.
"The week before you returned to the Square, I had a couple of hook-ups: half-way through a seminar that wasn't particularly interesting, I slipped away with a guy I'd been introduced to; and on the weekend, there was a guy at a club who had a nice, hard body but nothing of interest to say. That was it."
"You've not been with anyone else since I moved into the apartment?"
"No."
"Are you telling me the truth?"
"Yes."
"Okay," Syed mumbles unconvincingly.
"I can control myself," Danny gently reassures.
"Can I really trust you?"
"You're the only guy who ever could," he admits.
Syed gives him a hesitant smile.
"You see, there you go, opening up all over the place," Danny teases.
"You know me better than anyone else; my faults, my fears, my weaknesses," Syed admits, his tone vulnerable. "I know I can tell you anything and you won't judge me."
"How often do you volunteer?" Danny asks huskily, flustered by the simple admission.
"Volunteer?"
"At the walk-in centre."
"I'm on a rota; usually get called once a month. We cook and serve the breakfasts from 7am and wash up afterwards; we're finished by mid-day. It's such a rewarding feeling, you'll see ..."
"I Did Not Say ...," Danny begins in a tone ringing with dire warning of severe consequences.
"No, no, of course not. Like I said, we don't have to decide anything right now; there are lots of things we can do ..."
As he watches Syed drifting away: his thoughts preoccupied, his eyes glittering with excitement at the possibility of saving the soul of his lover; Danny realises with a weary resignation that he is going to end up repenting his past sins whether he wants to or not.
"Charity work won't fix what I've done to Christian," Syed reflects sadly, jarringly. "He got beaten up twice because of me; three times, if you count the guy he picked up the night I got engaged to Amira," he adds, oblivious to Danny's growing anger.
"You're not to blame for his unfortunate choice of hook-up, or for what Amira's dad did," he coldly dismisses. "Christian knew your situation, but he couldn't stay away. He was unlucky, but it wasn't your fault; just like it wouldn't have been his fault if you'd gotten beaten up."
"Who was to blame for what you did to Christian?" Syed asks quietly.
"Well, technically, it was his own fault," Danny responds, his tone icy. "He assumed all he had to do was act the big man, flex those muscles he's so proud of; warn me off, and I'd run and hide."
"You deliberately goaded him into the fight, didn't you?"
"I wanted you, and I was prepared to do whatever it took to get you."
"I wish you hadn't done it."
"You were worth it, like the bird in the shampoo ad."
"I'm serious Danny. You had nothing to gain from hurting him, so why do it?"
"I was angry with him."
"He never did anything to you."
"He had you; he was the reason you weren't with me. He was so arrogant, standing there telling me how it was going to be from now on, laying down the law; going on in that condescending tone about how I didn't know you the way he did. I was so angry; I wanted to wipe that smug look off his face."
"He didn't deserve it; I was his husband, he had every right to warn you off. You and I were in the wrong, not him. He's been beaten up too many times in his life."
"Maybe if he tried being a little less irritating …"
"Don't do that, don't belittle him, dismiss what you did as if it doesn't matter," Syed warns.
"Why, because you still love him?" he sneers.
"No, of course not."
"Is there something you want to tell me?"
"What about?"
"You and Christian; are you seeing him again behind my back?"
"No, of course not, I haven't seen him since we split up," Syed tells the lie without missing a beat, and Danny's heart lurches painfully.
"Where did this come from?" Syed's voice comes to him from a distance.
He can't answer; he knows that if he speaks it will become obvious just how upset he is. It takes all his strength to hold back a burst of weak, pathetic, pleading words begging for reassurance.
"Danny?" Syed gently pushes, his voice now anxious as he sees his distress reflected in his eyes. "What is it? You can tell me anything," he gently cajoles, now much closer, holding his hands.
But it's not in Danny's nature to show weakness. He desperately tries to regain his composure; wishing he was anywhere but where he is right now.
"Danny," he says ever so gently, cupping his face, stroking his cheek.
"I don't need anyone," he says, his voice hoarse.
"I'll never cheat on you," Syed says softly. "I wouldn't dare," he attempts to tease but without success.
"You don't have the power to hurt me."
"I don't want to hurt you," he gently assures, slipping his arms around Danny's waist pulling him closer. Danny's arms go around him, and he buries his face in his shoulder.
#
As Tamwar watches them, he wonders, not for the first time in his life, how his brother manages to turn even the strongest will to his bidding. "He got all the roses and I got all the thorns," he thinks with a heavy heart. But he can't begrudge his brother anything for very long. He loves him, and (apart from those times when things go horribly wrong) his life is a much happier, more enjoyable, richer existence when his brother is a part of it.
"You're still here," he remarks.
"Yea," Syed responds, forcing himself to let go of Danny to turn and look in his direction.
"Standing in the middle of my dining room holding hands and staring soppily at each other is all well and good right now; but when the lunchtime rush starts shortly, you'll be in the way," he reasonably points out.
"We were just about to leave, so problem solved," Syed responds with a smile.
"Are we going somewhere?" Danny asks. "You still haven't told me why l'm here. Your message wasn't big on detail. Has something happened?" he adds, casting a quick, questioning glance at Tamwar."
"No, everything's fine," Syed responds unhelpfully.
"Which means ... Seriously, Syed, I had to cancel two meetings ..."
"I thought we could go to Greenwich for the afternoon. My treat; I've saved up my tips this week. We need to get the DLR from Devons Road Station …"
"You could simply have suggested we go out somewhere for the afternoon, and a little more notice would have been good," Danny interrupts with a smile. "I think it's a nice idea; I can't remember when I last took any time off from work to just chill out."
"Okay," Syed says with a relieved smile.
"Haven't you just returned from New York?" Tamwar remarks.
"Haven't you got some glasses to shine?" Danny suggests with an exaggerated superiority.
"Nope, all done," Tamwar responds, stretching out his arms to draw the eye around a room full of tables perfectly set with snow white table cloths and linen napkins, and sparkling cutlery and glasses glimmering in the light.
"Okay, but what if I were to do this?" Looking around him, Danny spots a bottle of window cleaner on a nearby shelf. He grabs it and starts waiving it about threateningly.
"You wouldn't dare," Tamwar challenges.
"Yes, he would," Syed cries, grabbing the bottle off of him.
"Danny …," he barks, beginning to scold, before thinking better of it, "... you remember my brother Tamwar," he introduces them. "You met once before, kind of."
"Of course, how could I forget the hard man of Walford," Danny responds. "I had nightmares for weeks after our ... confrontation; always the same: a terrifying giant wearing a sensible jumper and thick-rimmed glasses, chasing me down a dark alley waiving a dictionary in a threatening manner."
"Danny," Tamwar nods politely and with a complete lack of understanding of what he is getting at.
"Tamwar," he solemnly responds.
"Right, well, I hope you have an enjoyable time at the park, I suppose," he wishes slightly awkwardly, before disappearing back into the kitchen.
"Don't pick on him," Syed warns.
"I'm not," Danny responds with a smile. "I like him, he's got a quirky charm. He's unshakably honest. The sort of guy you could depend on, l would guess. A rare find these days."
"You've picked up a lot from the two sentences he spoke," Syed responds irritably, sensing the unfavourable comparison.
"I'm good at reading people," Danny reminds him with a satisfied smile.
###
The park is as beautiful as you might expect, and the boys have a wonderful afternoon checking out all it has to offer. They do a quick tour of the Old Royal Observatory and the National Maritime Museum; and then get down to the really serious stuff: the duck pond, the deer enclosure and a pedal boat on the boating lake. A picnic on a hill with incredible views, complete the experience.
On the way back home on an overhead cable car overlooking the beautiful City of London, tired but happy, they sit in easy silence. Danny can't remember the last time he felt so relaxed; the crazy thought pops into his head that he could spend every day like this. He wonders how someone he's only known a few months can have made such a powerful impression on him. And then he remembers Amira's revelation about Syed and Christian spending time with Yasmin (together? re-connecting again?) and for a moment is terrified of how vulnerable he has allowed himself to become. "You really can't fall for this guy," he advises himself, as if he still has a choice about it.
"You wanna get a pet?" Syed murmurs.
"What, like a deer or a duck?" Danny laughs.
"No, wise guy; like a dog or a cat," Syed responds, nudging him in the ribs. He slips off his jacket and puts it over the arm rest between them, and then discretely slips his hand underneath to take Danny's.
Danny tries to pull away, but Syed won't let go; so he finds himself sitting on a train holding hands with a bloke. "Seriously, what is happening to me?" he wonders uneasily.