Chapter 19

"Syed, what did he say? Are you going with him?" Zainab calls out anxiously from the sitting room, as soon as she hears the key turn in the front door.

Syed doesn't answer, he heads for the stairs and the safety of his bedroom.

Almost five minutes pass before the tentative tap on the door; he is relieved to realise that it is his brother.

"Can I come in?" Tamwar asks hesitantly.

"Yea," he sighs.

"Mum was desperate to come up, but I thought you might prefer to see me."

Syed gives him a grateful smile.

"I take it Christian refused to let you go with him," he hazards, as he settles himself on the bed next to his brother.

"I went to see him to say goodbye; I wanted to make my peace with him before he left." Syed's voice lacks emotion, but his body is slumped and he lifts a forefinger to discretely wipe away a tear before it can fall.

Tamwar puts a sympathetic hand on his shoulder.

"I never thought this day would come," he admits huskily. "I loved him very much, I truly did."

"I know you did," Tamwar gently assures.

"My life is such a mess."

"There's no hope for you and Danny?"

"No," he shakes his head dejectedly.

"You never told us what happened?"

"It doesn't matter."

"Maybe you're better off without him. He seems a bit unpredictable, dangerous even, a bit of a bad boy …" Tamwar stops, realising that these are probably the traits which originally attracted his brother. "If you think about it, he's done some pretty ..." he trails off as Syed buries his face in his hands.

"If you love him and he loves you ..."

"But he doesn't love me," Syed moans.

"He told you that?"

"He didn't have to, the way he behaved ... he was so angry."

"Why was he angry?"

"He wouldn't tell me; it might have had something to do with Christian."

"So, doesn't it mean he feels something, if he's jealous?"

"No, it was all in my imagination."

"What was?"

"I thought we were getting closer; I felt …"

"Maybe …"

"Please just leave it, Tam," Syed pleads.

"How did you leave things?" he persists.

"He was angry ..."

"Angry, or maybe upset?"

"In the end, he was upset, close to tears," Syed confesses miserably.

"So why did you leave?"

"He told me to ... I knew he hated me seeing him like that. He plays the tough guy; but underneath it all, he's vulnerable ..."

"Vulnerable? Really?" Tamwar can't help asking, his tone incredulous.

"Yea," Syed responds, taking it as a straightforward question.

"Why don't you go and see him; he'll have calmed down by now."

I've tried calling, but his phone goes straight to voicemail every time; he hasn't been at work, and my door passes no longer work. Danny doesn't want to see me," he concludes dejectedly.

"Your love life is exhausting," Tamwar says wearily.

"I don't do it on purpose," Syed defends.

"I know," he smiles.

###

The following evening

"Pizza delivery," the voice calls from outside the apartment door. Danny ignores it.

"Come on, mate, get a shift on, you're costing me money. I've got another delivery waiting back at ... the base, and I only get paid for what I deliver ... mate."

"Fuck off, I haven't ordered any pizza," Danny shouts belligerently.

"If you're Danny Pennant, then you ordered pizza," the voice insists.

"Jesus fucking Christ," Danny barks through gritted teeth. He bangs down his glass and bolts up off the couch. "I DID NOT ORDER ...," he begins furiously as he yanks open the door, ready to take his anger out on the poor unsuspecting..."

"Hi, I'm here for dinner," Tamwar says cheerfully.

"Tamwar?" he cries in surprise. "What dinner?" He automatically steps back as Tamwar barges past him.

"Remember, you said to come on Thursday; but you didn't say which one, so I thought this one would do."

"Right," he responds, his tone not exactly pleased or very welcoming. "Well, I've got no food in … I could order take out. Do you like pizza?" he asks sarcastically.

"I don't like anchovies," Tamwar says, as he makes himself comfy on the couch.

"Me neither," Danny agrees, as he searches for his phone. "Have you not spoken to Syed in the last few days? I thought you guys lived in the same house."

"We need to talk about Syed," Tamwar explains.

"What about him?"

"He looks almost as bad as you do."

"Danny places the order, and comes to join him.

"Whiskey?" he offers to share the half-empty bottle. "No, you guys don't drink, I forgot." He drops heavily onto the couch and reaches for his glass.

"Maybe you need a break from it as well," Tamwar suggests, his gaze taking in a second, empty, bottle on the coffee table, and the delivery boxes from a variety of takeaways haphazardly discarded under it. "This place looked and smelled lot better last time I was here," he observes.

"I've sacked my cleaning lady," Danny explains.

"Wasn't she your aunt?"

"Your point?"

"Well, it seems a bit harsh."

"Apparently. My sister, brother and mother have all had their say on the matter."

"What did she do to lose favour?"

"She was asking too many questions."

"She's probably worried about you."

I'll probably re-hire her in a few days," Danny admits with a long-suffering sigh, "or maybe next week."

"It wouldn't take much of an effort to clear away a few boxes and run the hoover around, in the meantime," Tamwar cannot help suggesting.

"If you've come here to deliberately irritate me, you're doing well so far," Danny mumbles irritably.

"Is this because of Syed?"

"I could give a fuck about Syed; pretty boys come and go, it's always easy to find another."

"The way you look right now, I wouldn't feel so confident, if I were you."

Danny can't help laughing. "You'll make a great fussing, nagging, annoying parent one day," he prophesies.

"I'll be perfectly honest, I don't like you; I don't like the way you've come between Syed and Christian. It doesn't say a lot about your character that you would stoop to blackmail and violence ..."

"But …" Danny prompts with a smile.

"But, Syed obviously cares about you."

"Do I look like I'm bowled over by the news?" he responds, affecting a bored voice.

"Everything going on here tells me that you aren't as casual about Syed as you'd like me to believe."

"It was just a fling, nothing more," he insists.

"If someone had suggested two years ago that Syed and Christian would only last two years, I would have said they didn't know what they were talking about ..."

"He's confused ..."

"… and yet here we are."

"Now that I'm no longer in the picture, the great love story …"

"I suppose it never really crossed my mind to question his relationship with Christian," Tamwar muses, "they were so in love, Christian was so happy, Syed seemed happy ... It's only since he's been living with you that I've been able to compare, to see the difference in him ... He mentions you now and then: the food you like, favourite films, opinions you have on different subjects. From listening to him talk, I get the impression you have similar interests, and that he finds it easier sharing your life. When he was with Christian, it was all about them being happy and in love, and about Christian going out with Roxy or having a hangover (usually the day after he went out with Roxy). I remember thinking that Syed was trying too hard to fit into Christian's world."

"He'll be back with him soon; that wet blanket will wrap itself around him and smother him."

"No, there's no chance for them now; Christian realised the game was up when Syed admitted ...," he trails off. "Christian's planning to move back to America, he … Jane …"

"What did Syed admit?" Danny demands.

"Well, um … that the game was up," Tamwar lamely tries to deflect.

"Tamwar," he barks impatiently.

"He admitted that he loves you."

Danny is horrified to feel the heat rising in his cheeks. He quickly lifts his glass and takes a gulp of whiskey, and starts to choke.

Tamwar watches amused as he struggles to regain his composure. "Should I get you a glass of water?" he hazards.

"No," Danny gasps. Struggling to his feet, he escapes to the kitchen. "Syed doesn't know what he wants or who he really loves," he calls out between coughs.

"Maybe, but I really think the two of you need to have a proper, honest chat about everything before you give up on the relationship."

"Look, I've let you say your peace, but this is going nowhere. I think it would be best if you left now," Danny announces in his best no-nonsense voice, when he finally reappears.

"I'm going nowhere until I've had my pizza," Tamwar puts him straight, his voice equally firm. He is surprised when Danny simply sighs and slumps back down on the couch.

"I wonder why you've gone to so much trouble for someone you claim not to care very much about?" he ploughs ahead.

"Your wasting your time with this," Danny mutters.

"Syed told me you've only recently moved here ..."

"Let's talk about you for a minute," Danny snaps, abruptly turning on him. "What are you doing here? Syed stabbed you in the back only a few months ago when he stole money from your business; why are you still helping him?"

"We're not here to talk about me."

"You may not be, but I can talk about whatever I please; and I've suddenly got the urge to put you under the microscope."

"Danny."

"Tamwar, Tam, Tambo," he returns with a smile. "I know an awful lot about you, young Master Masood."

"What has Syed told you?" Tamwar asks uneasily.

"His casual comments about the amazing Zainab make it obvious there's a mutual appreciation society at work there. He talks more reluctantly about his hard-to-impress dad, a man who obviously sees through him; he really doesn't like that; he doesn't like that he can't charm him. When he mentions you, it's in a very casual way: "Mum gives Tam a hard time … Tambo was disappointed he didn't manage to get into Oxford … Tam was always awkward around girls … Tam loved Afia, he was so happy when they married … it was a shame it didn't work out … Tam got burnt in the fire because he was trying to save Afia; who, it turned out, wasn't even in the house at the time … Tambo wasn't enthusiastic about running a restaurant, but mum pushed him into it … I let Tam down when I stole money from the restaurant … Tam was gutted when he found out I'd bankrupted his business."

"Your point?" Tamwar asks testily.

"Well, it's quite a list, and it only covers the past two or three years. You've been through hell; and from the way Syed talks, you've hardly complained and no one in your family has really noticed; including the brother you're so concerned about. He loves you, that much is obvious, but his own life is so chaotic and full of drama that he's too distracted to give you proper time, proper care. And to top it all, you've been competing your whole life for your mother's affection with someone who is handsome, charming, interesting, fun; where you're geeky, awkward, clumsy, boring."

"You don't know what your talking about."

"I think maybe I do. I think your mum is completely charmed by Syed; whereas she doesn't really get you; she finds his jokes funny, but doesn't understand yours. She dotes on Syed, and completely overlooks you. You just don't measure up."

"My life is none of your business."

"Back at you."

"Point taken," Tamwar concedes, his will to fight evaporating as Danny's words bring back unwelcome memories and remind him of his own troubles. "I shouldn't have come here," he adds flatly, "it's up to you and Syed to figure things out for yourselves." He makes a move to get up.

"Do you ever hear from Afia?"

Tamwar looks at him suspiciously for a moment. "I used to get postcards, but I haven't heard from her in a while," he reluctantly admits after a short pause.

"Do you still miss her?"

"He nods."

"Are you simply going through the motions at the moment, following orders?"

"Something like that."

"And when are you going to start living again; stand up to your family, remind them you're a person in your own right?"

"What would be the point? They wouldn't listen; they never do."

"Maybe you'd feel better if you screamed the house down; told the lot of them they're full of shit, that they couldn't run a piss-up in a brewery."

"If you talk to Syed, I'll do the screaming thing," Tamwar promises half-heartedly.

"Not fair," Danny laughs.

"Why not? Talk to him honestly; without games, blackmail, threats."

"I don't do relationships."

"Maybe you didn't do relationships in the past, but my brother has a habit of disrupting the best laid plans."

"It's too late."

"Have you ever thought about actually asking him to be with you, telling him you care about him; the way most people do it?"

"No, of course not." Danny immediately dismisses such a ridiculous suggestion.

"Danny?" Tamwar prompts, his tone growing serious.

"Hmm," he respond evasively.

"What do you think? Will you come back with me now; talk to him?"

Danny's expression grows very serious, and Tamwar is surprised to see him bite his lower lip with obvious anxiety. "You really are terrified," he thinks in amazement. "You've never been in a relationship before," he hazards.

"No," Danny solemnly confesses.

###

A little later

"Tam, what took you so long?" Zainab barks, "and why have you come back without any milk?"

"I ..."

"You've missed dinner."

"It's fine, I've eaten."

"Well, I would have thought you might have had the decency to ..."

We've got a visitor," Tamwar quickly interrupts before she can launch into a detailed critique of his failings.

"What do you want?" Zainab growls when she sees who it is.

"Where's Syed?" Tamwar asks. "Syed," he calls. "Syed, can you come down?"

"What's up?" his brother responds, coming out of his bedroom and slowly making his way down the stairs.

"Danny," he breathes, his face lighting up as soon as he sees him.

"I want my cheque back," Danny demands.

"What?"

"I've changed my mind; I want the £6,000 back."

"I've given it to my dad; it's been banked; it's no longer mine to return," Syed responds, his voice now icy. "I'll give you back every penny as soon as I've got it. Now get out, and don't come back," he shouts, marching quickly down the last few steps, his hands rising, ready to give Danny a hard shove in the direction of the front door.

"Not good enough," Danny says blandly, quickly grabbing his wrists to stop him.

"Please just go," he cries hopelessly.

"Not until we sort this out."

"You know I've no money."

"I guess the only option you have is to work off the debt," Danny sensibly suggests.

"What are you talking about?" Syed asks confused.

"You'll have to move back into the apartment and work for me again. I'll wait while you pack your stuff."

Syed's eyes search his face for a clue to what he's thinking. He notices that Danny looks less than his usual immaculate self: tired eyes, unshaven, un-ironed shirt, gel-less hair. "Danny," he says huskily, raising a hand to touch his cheek. "Danny," he whispers.

"Get your stuff," Danny repeats, keeping his voice stern. He takes a step back, out of reach.

"The other night, was it something to do with Christian?"

"I don't want to talk about Christian."

"I do care about him, I always will; but I'm not in love with him anymore. He came here to see Yasmin; that was the only reason. I know I should have told you, but I didn't think you'd be interested ..."

"More like you were trying to avoid a confrontation," Danny guesses. "Anyway, it's obvious you can't keep away from him no matter how much abuse he dishes out."

"He was just lashing out; I hurt him … he didn't mean any of it," Syed protests. "Since he's been coming here to spend time with Yas, he's left me alone. You didn't need to make any threats."

"Christian can come and see Yasmin whenever he likes, but if I find out you've been alone with him; if you try to get back with him, I'll hurt you both," Danny defiantly threatens.

"There won't be any reason for us to be alone together; and even if we ever are, it won't matter because to me he is now just a fond memory; someone who was once so important, but who I now wish well but no more."

"Until you've repaid …"

"Danny, I feel guilty for all I've put him through; I want so much for him to be able to move on and be happy with someone else. If I walked out of here right now and saw him standing on a street corner kissing another guy, I'd feel only relief; and that's not something I could have said a year ago. He's moving to the States in a few weeks, and I feel sad that I'll probably never see him again, the way you would feel if a close friend moved away; but that's all I feel now."

"I could care less about you and Christian, but as long as you're with me ..."

"I think you do care," Syed says quietly. "I think you care a lot more than you would like to admit."

"I don't really want to get into this," Danny protests, quickly glancing around at the curious faces around them.

"If you could just let your guard down, and admit that you feel something," Syed pleads, oblivious to the curious faces around them. "Just tell me …"

"I don't do relationships …"

"Danny, please; it's important to me."

"If I admit it once, will you drop it?" he growls.

"Okay," Syed says softly; the lie tripping easily off his tongue.

"I do feel something; it'll probably pass," he says dismissively.

"Please Danny …"

"Anyway, it's a ridiculous notion," the words burst form him, "the very idea of love … it's a word invented by poets to help men trick women into having sex … I've never been in love in my life, and I'm not going to start now …"

"Danny," Syed gently interrupts.

"Yes?" he meekly responds.

"Do you love me?"

He nods his head submissively.

"I'll get my stuff," Syed manages to get the words out, his voice cracking with emotion. He turns to go back upstairs.

"Wait," Danny cries, grabbing his arm. "Do you … feel the same?" he asks anxiously.

"Yes," Syed confirms with a big tearful smile; he impulsively leans forward to kiss him.

"Excuse me?!" Zainab cries, her voice a little stretched. "Is this some kind of joke? Syed, how can you love this … this thug; after everything he's done to you, to this family. Tamwar, this is your fault; you brought him back here. Why do you always have to …?"

"That reminds me," Danny interrupts. "I think Tamwar's got something to say."

Everyone looks in Tamwar's direction.

"Now's not really the best time for this," Tamwar pleads.

"We had a deal, and I've done my part," Danny reminds him.

Tamwar looks apprehensively at the three faces in front of him, and then towards Danny.

"Tomorrow."

"Today, now."

He takes a deep breath. "Mum, I just want to say that … that …"

"Afia, the fire, the cheque, the stand-up …" Danny reminds him.

"… you've hurt me over and over again. You've made me feel worthless, unimportant. I've been through hell recently, but you've barely noticed. Everything's always about Syed."

"Tamwar," Zainab begins.

"Let him speak, Zee," Masood cuts her off.

"In this house, if you don't shout to be heard, you won't be … heard. If you don't demand attention, you'll be overlooked. I'm saying this now because I think you need to change your ways before you end up hurting Kamil the way you've hurt me.

"Tam, for goodness sake, stop this nonsense," Zainab snaps, but for once her words lack conviction. "I told you before ..."

"No, I won't," he shouts. "I'm so unhappy, I've been so miserable for so long. You hurt me every day with some careless comment," he cries, his eyes filling with tears.

Zainab reaches out to him, but he pushes her hand away.

"You were constantly rude to Afia, you never made her feel at home here; your behaviour did nothing to help our marriage. You keep disappearing as soon as things get difficult; you take Kamil away; you leave me here and I never know if I'm ever going to see either of you again; it's like I'm not even worth considering. You didn't come to see me when I was doing stand-up because you were too busy preparing for Syed's second sham marriage."

"How was I to know it was going to be another … dud?" Zainab weakly tries to defend herself on the last item, and misses the point completely.

"I'm not good enough for you; I know you don't really love me," he whispers, brushing his palm across his eyes to wipe away his tears.

"Of course you're good enough; you're too good most of the time," Zainab gently tries to convince him. "I love you just as much as I love Syed, I swear to you. I may not fuss over you as much, but it's only because he's more vulnerable; he needs me; he has been through so much … and when he was a baby he was ill; I thought I was going to lose him. If you could only understand how much he means to me …," she trails off, realising that she's doing herself no favours. "From now on, I will never take you for granted, I promise."

"Or at least, she won't take you for granted any more than she does the rest of us," Masood qualifies.

"You know how I feel, don't you?" Tamwar pleads with his father.

"I do," Masood says quietly. "We overlook you sometimes, because you seem so strong, so dependable; we assume you don't need us as much. I'm sorry, I really am," he says emotionally, walking over to Tamwar to give him a hug.

"I'm sorry, too," Zainab says. "You know I don't mean half the stuff I say; I don't mean to be so harsh. She hugs him tightly. "I'm going to cook your favourite dinner tonight …"

"I'm not finished," Tamwar cuts across her. He turns to Syed, who has been staring at him in shock the whole time.

"Mum doesn't mean …"

"You've hurt me most of all," Tamwar says with great sadness. "I stood by you when you needed me; but when I needed you, you let me down. Worse than that, you played on my insecurities, convincing me I wasn't up to the job of running the restaurant; you did it deliberately so that you could write bad cheques to benefit yourself. You knew I trusted you, you encouraged me to trust you and then you betrayed me."

"Tam, you know how bad I feel about that; I had no choice. I'm so very sorry ... I regret more than anything ..."

"Sorry and regret are no good to me; I don't give … I don't give a … a fuck about how sorry you are," he barks hesitantly.

"Tamwar," Zainab cries outraged.

"I want what you took from me; I want the £10,000 you stole from my business."

"You know I don't have any money," Syed is forced to confess one more time.

"Well, you'll just have to work it off, then," he says as nonchalantly as he can manage.

"Work it off?" Syed asks faintly; his eyes straying to Danny, as he realises where this is going.

"For the next six months you'll work for free at the restaurant, afternoons and evenings …"

"No evenings; I want him home when I get in," Danny insists.

"You'll work afternoons, and the odd night when we're really busy," Tamwar bargains.

"Agreed, but six months won't cover it," Danny points out.

"You'll work for a year, without pay, to settle your debt."

"Okay," Syed hesitantly agrees, looking apprehensively between his two new bosses.

"Are we done?" Danny asks, looking to Tamwar.

"Yea, I think we are," he smiles.

"Good; and from now on …"

"'Shit is what happens to other people'," Tamwar firmly (and obediently) replies."

"Exactly," Danny smiles.

"Can someone explain to me what is going on here?" Zainab demands. And as Danny looks towards her offended countenance, he catches the look of gratitude on Masood's face and gives him a hesitant smile.

"Right, you, let's go," he says, turning to Syed. His gruff tone and averted gaze attempting to mask a new, unfamiliar feeling of being completely vulnerable to another person.

"Let's go, what?" Syed teases, sensing his awkwardness.

"Sorry?"

"You're supposed to say 'Let's go babe'," he patiently explains. "We're in a proper relationship now; you have to be affectionate at all times."

"Don't push it," Danny warns, as he takes his arm and pulls him towards the door.

"Can I tell people we're soul mates?"

"No."

"Can I tell people you complete me?"

"NO."

"Can I call you Dan?"

"No."

#

"What was that?" Zainab asks bewildered, as the door closes behind them.

"I could be wrong, but I think those two might be together again," Masood hazards a guess.

"Yea, it's a pretty safe bet," Tamwar confirms as he looks through the window at Danny chasing after and catching Syed, pinning him up against a car and silencing his laughter with a kiss.

"What are we going to do about it?" Zainab cries. "I refuse to … to …"

"You're going to help me redecorate Syed's old Room," Tamwar tells her firmly. "I'm moving in there."

"Well …" Zainab starts to dispute out of habit.

"Of course," Masood interrupts, "you should make it your own."

"Okay then," Tamwar nods.

"He forgot to pack his stuff before he left; maybe I'll pop round with some clothes in the morning," Zainab can't help muttering distractedly to herself. "I hope that that Danny takes good care of him," she frets; all the while keeping her voice low enough so that Tamwar and Masood cannot hear her as she follows them up the stairs to check out Tamwar's new room.

"We could …" Masood begins.

"Imagine, my clever, handsome son ending up living in a penthouse with a wealthy investment banker," Zainab thinks proudly, as her less exciting husband and younger son talk about where the bed will go to make maximum use of the space.

The end

I hope you liked it