Author's note: Wanna take just a little bit of your time here to express my thanks to everyone for yours reviews! Those words give me butterflies, haha. Really grateful, guys! This chapter started it all. Without this chapter this story would never exist in the first place. Hope you'll like it as much as I do.

Moments

Chapter 5: Failure

Temari opened door without even knocking.

"Gaara, you here?"

Lord Kazekage indeed was there. Buried in the mountain of paperwork, but he didn't seem to mind it. After all, Gaara was deeply asleep.

"Not again." Temari chuckled.

Apparently this scene didn't surprise her at all.

"What happened to him?" Shikamaru asked, wondering what would happen to Kakashi if he was discovered sleeping on the working place.

"It's just how he is. He probably got excited about guests from Hidden Leaf coming, so he decided to finish all paperwork in one go. He worked without sleep again for three days straight and then collapsed. It happens a lot lately."

She opened one of the closets and took out a thin blanket. Shikamaru guessed that she was long prepared for this kind of situation. Temari covered her little brother and took first of the many documents piled up around Lord Kazekage.

"You should probably go back and get some rest. I'll finish here first."

Gaara was surely lucky to have her as a sister.

"Why don't you wake him up?"

"Oh, that's impossible. In his current state he won't wake up."

"And what if there's some kind of emergency?"

"I'll handle that."

Somebody knocked. She left the office without letting the man in.

"Temari-san, you're back."

"What is it?"

"Important message for Lord Kazekage."

"Gaara is busy at the moment. He's in the middle of meeting with the guest from Hidden Leaf village. He's not to be bothered. Let me see the message."

"Yes, ma'am."

'So that's what she calls "I'll handle it"?' thought Shikamaru. Even though she was technically right about Gaara having Leaf village guest, but it was still too far from the truth. If this was to happen in Hidden Leaf... well, Hokage doesn't have a loyal sister to cover his ass in times like that.

Young shinobi from Hidden Leaf walked around plain office. He probably expected more. But lifestyle here in Sand was actually different. They simply had no time for fancy decorations. They were busy surviving every single day of their lives. That's why they personalities grow stern, just like the needles on desert cacti, and their hearts grow rough, like stones polished by thousands of sandstorms. It was a poor country, perhaps even the poorest of them all, and unlike any other Hidden Village, they couldn't afford fanciness. They were in a middle of survival war every minute of their lives.

'Hmm, what is that?' Corner of a simple picture frame was sticking out from the pile of papers. Shikamaru pulled it out, causing few papers to fall. Looks like Temari was right - Gaara didn't even flinch.

'Wow, that does bring back memories.'

It was one of the pictures they usually make when a four-man group of genin is formed. A grown man, that covers half of his face - that was their teacher, although Shikamaru couldn't remember his name. Young Temari, young Kankurou (although he didn't seem to change much), and little Gaara with fierce look in his eyes. None of them smiled on this picture. It was way too different from the ones they take in Hidden Leaf. Nevertheless, this picture probably meant a lot to Gaara to have it in his office. If Shikamaru would take a guess, he'd say that this picture was a reminder of how it used to be and how it shouldn't be from this point on. Gaara really did change since they'd met for the first time.

The fallen papers unravelled another picture. Shikamaru took it without any fear to wake Kazekage up. The second picture portrayed a single woman in traditional Hidden Sand clothes. Light brown short hair, dark eyes and gentle smile. She was very beautiful, but more than that she seemed extremely familiar. Shikamaru felt that he's seen her face somewhere before. Maybe different hairstyle? Or different facial expression? It was one of those times when the answer you look for is there, within your reach, but every time you try to grasp it, it just sleeps through your fingers. Nevertheless, it was kind of surprising to see Gaara having a picture of a woman on his desk. Who might it be? A student, perhaps. She looked young. Shikamaru tried to remember faces of the genin Sand village sent last time for the chuunin exam, but the answer still seemed wrong.

"What are you looking at?" Shikamaru was too deep in his thoughts that he didn't hear Temari coming back.

'Maybe, it's better to ask' he thought.

"Who is she?"

"Hmm?" Temari came closer and took the picture from his hands. "Oh, that..."

Sudden realization struck young shinobi. As Temari smiled gently looking at the picture, it suddenly became crystal clear who this woman reminded him of. Yeah, the hair was different, but other than that it was as if Temari was staring in the mirror. The eyes, the nose, lips and even chin line, it was all the same.

"That's our mother."

Yes, the resemblance was pretty obvious, yet it was the expression that made huge difference. Temari never wears that kind of caring gentle look on her face, and smile like that was super rare. If she were to look at him like that, Shikamaru thought, he'd probably be very...

He tried to get rid of this thought before his face turned red.

"You, kind of, look like her."

"And yet you couldn't tell that she's my mother?" Temari laughed. "Don't lie your ass of, Shikamaru."

'It's all your fault for being too serious all the time.' He thought. 'If only she'd smile more often...' But then, on the other hand, he'd hate somebody else to see her smile like that. So maybe it was actually a good thing. It makes those moments very special to him.

Temari put the picture back on the table and started to sort out the papers that became Kazekage's downfall tonight.

"You should seriously head back. It can take a while."

"Nah, that's too troublesome." He scratched the back of his head. "I'd rather stay here and help you with those."

She looked startled.

"And in what universe dealing with paperwork is less troublesome than going back to rest?"

Her sarcastic tone of voice made him blush a little.

"I mean, you've helped me a lot back then, so I kind of want to repay that favor."

It was just couple of weeks ago, when she found him buried in papers just like Lord Kazekage a while ago. And, to his shame, Shikamaru found himself begging for her help. It took another two days to sort that pile out, but Shikamaru was sure, he wouldn't able to finish it on his own. He kind of felt envious of Gaara, to have someone this capable right beside him. While Hokage's 'capable one' was Shikamaru himself, which made him feel even more useless.

"That's more like it. Fine, just start from that side of the table."

The work was going very fast, in fact Gaara finished almost everything by himself. The other documents were separated in several piles. One of them had a tiny piece of paper on top of it "Sign these later, I've checked everything. Tem", another one was "Important. Take care of it first thing in the morning", the last one stated "Can be handled by your assistants". For the whole this time Lord Kazekage didn't even move. Shikamaru even wondered if Gaara was actually alive, since he himself knew how dreadful are the mountains of paperwork.

"That should do it," exhaled Temari adding the last paper to the appropriate time. "There's even some time to sleep left."

It was still dark outside, probably around three in the morning if Shikamaru counted it right judging from the stars.

"You sure, it's a good idea to leave him like that?"

"He'll be ok. It's not like I can do anything about it, anyway."

"Well, technically, you can carry him home..."

That was a bad idea. Especially judging from the look Temari gave him.

"Just what kind of woman do you think I am?"

Well, the answer would be super strong one. But she wouldn't like it. And Shikamaru himself wouldn't like what she would do to him for these kind of words.

Temari exhaled.

"Plus, that's still impossible. You can't touch him when he's like this."

"Why is that?"

She didn't say anything, instead she walked to Kage's table, clenched her fist and tried to throw this devastating power onto her brother's head. Shikamaru knew too well, how this fist tastes like, and fell sorry for Gaara for a moment. But then, sand shield came in the way to block his sister's fist of love.

"Maybe, if you didn't try to punch him..."

Temari gave him a glare.

"It just doesn't work. Mother guards his sleep. She wouldn't let me touch him."

"Your mother?"

"Well, that's what our father said during the Fourth World War. Our mother's spirit, her soul and chakra lives on in Gaara's sand to protect him from any harm."

She gave a faint smile.

"How's that even possible?"

"Don't ask me. But after Shukaku was gone, her presence became stronger."

She stood still for a moment, looking at her brother. Her facial expression was impossible to read, just like most of the times.

"Let's go." Temari finally said.

"To where? Do inns ever work at this hour?"

"Our place has plenty of spare rooms. That house is too big for three people, anyway."

Inviting a guy to her house in the middle of the night without even a slightest blush and in casual tone... out of all girls Shikamaru knew, Temari was the only one capable of doing that. He wouldn't even be surprised if her other brother was out on the mission. It was worth asking, though.

"Is Kankurou there?"

"I don't know. Does it matter?" She yawned.

Yup, that's Temari for you.

That thought made Shikamaru smile.

Well, nobody in the right mind will ever attack her, unless he had a death wish.

The Kazekage residence was indeed huge. It was probably built for a bigger family. But Sand Siblings ended up in this half empty place not because of their wish for extravagance, but rather by losing all of their family members. That's what Shikamaru thought staring at the ceiling as he found himself unable to sleep. His thoughts mainly circled around his hosts - Sand Siblings and their family. The face of a woman from the picture in Kazekage's office came to mind. Would the story have played out differently if she stayed alive?

There was no use thinking about that.

He sat on his bed wondering if it would be too rude of him to walk around the house looking for a glass of water. But staying in this room when his head was filled with thousands different thoughts was just too painful. A game of Shogi would probably help him to sort them out, but looking for that would be even creepier than sneaking around for a glass of water. Or, maybe just some fresh air will help to clear his head. Shikamaru remembered seeing a huge balcony right outside the living room. He left the room as quiet as possible.

And yet, he seemed to misjudge a lot of things. First of all, it was the air. It's 'freshness' made him shiver from cold. And secondly, being quiet was totally useless, as Temari didn't sleep either. She was staring at the thin yellow line over the horizon, as the sun was beginning to rise. She changed into more comfortable clothes. As light as it was, she didn't seem to be bothered by low temperature.

"Aren't you cold?" Shikamaru asked.

Temari turned to him with rather surprised look. She didn't notice him at all. That was rare.

"Not really. I've spent months in the desert training. I guess, I'm already used to it. What are you doing here?"

"Couldn't sleep."

He came closer. Temari didn't reply. That was the first time Shikamaru saw her like that - wearing simple clothes, with her hair loose and without usual militant attire she did look just like her mother. Only the expression on her face was different.

'So it's actually below her shoulders…' he finally got his answer.

"You?" He asked.

"Same here. Too much stuff on my mind"

Maybe that was actually for the best.

"Hey, what was she like?"

"Who?"

"Your mother."

"Why so suddenly?"

"No reason, just curious."

She remained silent for a while, as if gathering her thoughts.

"She was very gentle, loving person. But, I guess you can tell that from her looks." Temari smiled. "I was still too small to remember a lot of details, though. But I do remember loving being with her. Was it cooking, or nursing baby Kankurou, or singing lullabies to unborn Gaara, I loved it all. She even used to do my hair every morning. At that time she was saying something about how girls should look cute all the time, for their prince is already on his way." Temari laughed. "I mean, how funny is that?"

'So it's because of her mother that she won't cut it short…' he actually got another answer without even asking.

Shikamaru smiled too, trying to imagine little Temari as a princess.

"Is it because of her that you always try to take care about the others?"

"Why do you think that?"

"Well, I mean... you're kind of natural at that. The way you treated Gaara today, or how you actually helped me before. I mean, you didn't have to do any of these, but you still end up putting other's interests before your own... Argh, I don't know how to explain it better, I just sort of noticed it about you, that's all..."

Now she definitely looked surprised and maybe a little bit embarrassed, speaking in Temari terms, of course. Yet, that lasted only for a second. Her facial expression went completely blank.

"You got it all wrong."

"Eh?"

"It's not like that at all. It's because..." she hesitated. That was probably her first time saying it out loud. "That's because..." She exhaled, closed her eyes, and then the next moment her usual serious face was back. "That's because I'm a failure."

Shikamaru was shocked. To think that Temari of all people...

"What... are you talking about?"

"I was born failure, as simple as that. Countless times I was thinking, what if it was me, who was compatible with Shukaku. I mean, it should have been me. Then maybe our mother wouldn't have died giving birth to Gaara. And his whole existence wouldn't have turned into a living hell. If it was me, I would have handled it better. I mean, if it was me from the very beginning, everything would be different. Maybe, our mother would still be alive, and even if she's not, at least I would be there to guide both of my brothers. If only I was the one..." She smiled bitterly. "And yet I failed."

It probably sounded even more demanding coming out from Temari's mouth. Because, that's just how she was. Bossy, pushy, demanding and often unreasonable, but always true to her character. And yet, hearing those words made Shikamaru understand one simple truth about this woman: whatever she demanded from the others, she demanded from herself in tenfold.

"You can't possibly blame yourself for that..."

"And yet, I do. Because in that case I wouldn't have failed for the second time." She clenched her hands. This confession was even harder than the first one. "This time as an older sister"

"Huh?"

"My mother... she meant a world to me. I'm pretty sure you know how it feels to lose someone like that."

He did. He certainly did know what she was talking about. The world that was previously illuminated with warmth and happiness, would suddenly turn into pitch black darkness, that will slowly consume you whole. He experienced it as a teenager, but for a little kid it would probably be even more painful.

"I hated him for quite a while, you know. Not because he was Jinchuriki, or any of the sorts, but because he stole my mother away."

She was now looking at her clenched fists.

"My father didn't know any of this. He hardly paid any attention to me or Kankurou, as we were failures. But he made sure to isolate Gaara from us. Maybe, it was even for our own safety. Anyway, I didn't mind any of that. In my mind he was a villain. He was around two, when we first met. Probably, got lost or something. I guess I was about to push him away, when he grabbed my shirt and with those huge sad eyes of his asked me 'Mama?' "

Temari gave a sad laughter.

"That was just too cute. Seeing that kid, whom everyone treated like a monster, desperate for any connection of any sorts, melted my heart. Our mother probably meant a world for him too, yet only thing he could do - was staring at the picture. And I was the luckiest one to actually know her, I had my time with her, but yet this kid had no one to love him like a mother would. That day I decided to bury those feelings deep down inside of my heart. It wasn't his fault after all."

She was still looking down at her hands. With her golden hair covering half of her face, it was difficult to know which expression she had now.

"That doesn't make you a failure..."

"I could have talked to him. I could have been his friend. Sneaking behind my father's back was an easy task, since he'd never been around. It would have taken me no effort at all to actually build that bonds any siblings should have. Then, by the time our father would break his heart he would have someone to hold on to. Someone to tell him that all of that was just a lie, someone to tell him how our mother really was, and how she waited for him to be born. I didn't need to do anything special, just be there for him. And yet... I didn't do a thing. Kept my distance, followed father's orders, remained a stranger to him. When he was pushed into the darkness, I didn't do a thing. And by that time it was already too late for anything."

Her voice was shaking. Someone else wouldn't probably notice a thing, but for Shikamaru, who knew all too well how Temari's voice should sound like, it was as clear as a bright day.

"Do you understand now? I didn't do anything."

Shikamaru could perfectly understand that feeling, as he himself experienced something similar years ago. Yet, the one adults forbade him to approach was a friend, not a brother. Still, bitter feeling of regret dwelled inside of his heart for some time.

"To make matters worse, it was a complete stranger to pull him out of his hell. When it should have been me. It should have been me from the very beginning."

Few drops of water fell on her clenched fists. One might think that it was just rain. But not in here, not in Hidden Sand. The rain in the desert was probably just as rare as Temari's tears.

"Would you look at that... I guess, I lack emotional training as well..."

Still shocked, Shikamaru could only think of one thing to do. He moved forward and embraced her, before she could even react. Her tears felt cold through his shirt, her hands pressed against his chest, leaving a little bit space between their bodies, her soft hair brushed against his cheek.

"What are you doing?" She demanded almost in her usual voice. Almost.

"Just don't talk and stay like this for a while."

He couldn't possibly answer that question, as he didn't know the answer himself.

It took her few seconds to relax. And then one more little effort to eliminate the remaining distance between the two of them as she hugged him back. Probably it was because of her attitude that she looked taller and stronger than she actually was. Temari right now felt unexpectedly fragile and small with all strength gone from her posture. Her hands clinging onto the back of his shirt felt tiny too. Shikamaru wondered when was the exact time he grew taller than her.

People cry all the time. It doesn't really matter, if they are children or adults. There's generally nothing wrong with crying to begin with. It only takes a wound deep enough to make one's eyes water up and hell lot of a time to get over it. Until the next wound, and then the wound after that. Eventually, people learn to live with the pain. People learn not to shed tears. It doesn't mean that the scars will ever disappear, it just means that you have to be strong again. After all, even the strongest people cry...

But girls especially love crying. Shikamaru saw it so many times with his classmates. He generally preferred working with guys, because they won't go emotional all of sudden. He used to hate girls. Since most of them was stupid yet very bossy, not capable of doing anything yet demanding a lot. They live in their own worlds full of love and butterflies, but when this world starts to crumble they go berserk. They're so noisy about cool and good looking guys, yet those who is not up to their standards doesn't stand a chance. The young version of Shikamaru would probably complain here how girls use their tears against the guys.

He learned a lot later that there was an exception to this rule. Even now in Shikamaru's mind Temari wasn't supposed to cry. She was the only person who wasn't meant for that. Temari who has always been strong and emotionally consistent was standing out among all the girls he knew. It was wrong to see her like this, to the point that it was physically painful. Temari of all people in the world shouldn't be crying. If somebody were to ask Shikamaru, what would he choose between seeing her cry again or having her boss him around till the end of his days, he would probably choose the second.

The sky was getting brighter with every passing minute. It wouldn't take long before the sunrise. The two of them were still standing together embracing each other. She wasn't crying anymore. In fact, she probably almost immediately stopped her tears. But after this scene, it would be just too awkward to face each other right now. Especially since she let him see her weak side. Something that wasn't supposed to be shown to anybody, something that wasn't supposed to be said to anyone. Yet, for some reason she decided to let him in. Now that he was thinking about it, Shikamaru couldn't really find a reason for her to tell any on those.

"You ok?" He finally asked.

"Yeah."

"Want to let go?"

She clenched harder.

"I'll take that as a no."

Silence again.

"Well, you'll have to let go eventually."

"Is there any way to make it less awkward? You're the strategist. Think."

"Well, I can think about at least 200 ways to make the situation even more awkward than it already is."

"Damn."

"Your brother's going to wake up soon. You don't really want him to see you like that."

"I'll kick his ass if he dares to say anything."

"You'll have to let go for that. So I'll eventually see your face."

That was a long shot. But he was right. The Desert Queen was embarrassed. Was it about the whole situation, about her moment of weakness, or maybe even for hugging him. It didn't really make a difference.

"Fine, whatever."

She let go.

No matter how hard she tried avert her eyes it was still impossible to cover her face. No one could have guessed that she cried. She was pouting with her cheeks bright red.

The sight so unusual, that made Shikamaru blush himself.

'C-cute...'

He remembered the words his teammate Ino once told him: 'Listen, girls are all about the defence. To get her heart all you need to do is break through them. Once you see her 'girly face' it's pretty much your win! Attack when she lowers her guard! Take her by surprise! Once you see her face bright red - she's yours!' Ino winked and gave thumb up in his mind. Back then he told her something like 'She'll kill me if I try to do something like that.' But now he kind of thought that he wouldn't mind if he died trying.

Seeing Temari like that made Shikamaru realize that it indeed was the 'girly face' Ino was talking about. That was probably his only chance and he wasn't going to blow it.

So he made a step forward and kissed her.

The surprised look as her face went from ivory to bright red was certainly worth seeing.

He kissed her again making this time longer and deeper. She didn't resist, though. This time she replied.

"The hell you're doing?" She gasped for air.

"I kind of... didn't want anyone else..." he breathed heavily "to see that girly face of yours..."

"Huh?"

He kissed again.

"Why?.."

"Because I loved it."

This time it was her reaching out for his lips.

"K-kankurou..."

"To hell with him..."

There was not a single inch of space between them now. All that mattered was another pair of lips and the person whom they belonged to. The outside world somehow perished to exist.

Somewhere in the house the door opened.

Before Shikamaru could even fully comprehend what that sound can mean, Temari had already acted. Her fist hit Shikamaru right in his guts, sending him flying across the balcony.

"The hell you're doing, Temari?" Sleepy Kankurou opened balcony door.

"Nothing much." Her usual serious face was back on, as if nothing happened few minutes ago.

"Why are you punching our guests?" He was completely unrecognizable without his usual Kabuki make-up.

"I thought it was a burglar." Said Temari and stormed out back to her room.

Kankurou yawned and gave Shikamaru a hand.

"You ok, man?"

"Yeah." Young man from Hidden Leaf said as he stood up. She didn't hold back at all. The place her fist landed on was hurting like hell, but Shikamaru still smiled.

'Worth it.' He thought.

The meeting was held first thing in the morning. Intel gathered by Sasuke Uchiha actually made Gaara frown. Somewhere in his mind he already started investigating this matter. The rest of the day went on as usual. Nothing new in the whole world has changed over this night. And yet, something was different. When their eyes met, she'd give him a hint of smile, and his heart would skip a beat. Their work faces will not crumble, but there's always more to it than a facial expression, isn't it?

"Have a safe travel back to Hidden Leaf. We'll keep you informed." Gaara said with a faint smile.

"Yes, we're glad to cooperate."

"Temari, guide our guest through the desert. It's not safe this time of the year."

"Roger."

They said their goodbyes.

About half an hour walk through the desert, Shikamaru decided to break the silence.

"Hey..."

"What?"

"Do you know what this all means?"

"What are you talking about?"

No shortcuts, huh.

Shikamaru lifted his head up, looking at the sky. There was not a single cloud.

Looking for right words was such a drag.

"That we are... kind of... sort of... ugh... together... now?"

She gave him a strange look and then busted into laughter.

"Could you come up with something less pathetic than that?"

He blushed.

"Sh-shut up." He scratched the back of his head. "It's just too troublesome..."

She was still giggling when he suddenly felt her touch against his palm.

"All right."

As they walked side by side, hand in hand Shikamaru for the first time in a while felt himself truly happy.

Author's note: Do I hear "That's total OOC!", "That's not her!" and "You've totally ruined her!"? No? Great. Let me explain. I'm not the only one out there who wanted to see Temari cry. I'm not even close to be an exception from this rule.

Now this particular chapter was one of the first I wrote. The idea came to me after watching last series of Naruto Shippuuden. Especially the part featuring little Gaara. What hit me the most was Temari's reaction. I mean, Kankurou totally tried to communicate, and even bond a little. Temari on the other hand did nothing, said nothing! And when the father called her… she kind of wanted to stay. But she didn't. So that's where I saw this regret in her. You might not agree with me, though. Maybe, I'm thinking too much. But there's something I know for sure. Temari is a strong person. But it's not like you're born like this. To build up your character like that... it takes a lot of pain and unhappiness. People with no wounds will never possess such power. That's what I saw. So I think that this regret is real.

Although, the scene could play out differently. I can totally see Temari's reaction be just like Someya in Mekakushi No Kuni (chapter 14 page 16), look it up and you'll totally see what I mean! But, yeah. Opening up is one of the most important stages to build up a relationship. This chapter is one of the most important out there!

Words about strong people crying were so good though, I actually posted them on my fb, haha.

Hope you've enjoyed. Be back soon.