Author's note: Now this is the chapter I rated this story M for! Read at your own risk!

This one is not gonna be a happy one. I'm actually hesitating a lot while hitting 'publish' button.

Moments

Chapter 10: Broken

Tsunade-hime was already waiting for them. After her retirement as a Hokage she mostly spent her days gambling. But in times like this, when her presence was needed in the hospital, she'd still come to help. It was just few very short moments before medical-nins took unconscious Temari into the operating room.

And then hours of waiting.

Shikamaru knew it before, how painful it is to wait right in front of operation room. What are the chances that it was actually the same one? It was hard to tell, since the hospital was rebuilt several times since then. The seconds were crawling like minutes. And each minute felt like an hour. Shikamaru's nervousness already started to break out from the surface. 'Stop fidgeting. Sacrifice is essential part of a mission. Didn't you receive emotional training?' She would probably be able to remain calm. At least on the outside. He wanted for his imagination to picture her like that. But in his mind she was all beaten up and wounded with a bright smile on her face. Who'd smile in the situation like that?

Shikamaru tried to calm down, but instead started to walk across the hallway. They shouldn't have done that. All this mission was a bad idea. They should have thought it through better. They should have found another option. It shouldn't have ended like that. But still...

The hallway was just ten steps across.

Even though Shikamaru did realize they didn't have any other choice at this point of time, even though the ambush would happen sooner or later, even though those people could have attacked in the middle of Hidden Leaf if they were desperate enough. The situation had to be taken under control before it's too late. There was no other choice. Interrogation will start soon enough, and then all Sand-Leaf alliance opposes will be eliminated as traitors. The mission was a success. He didn't make any mistake this time. And knowing Temari, she'd probably weighted down each of her decisions very carefully. Her choice to suffer minor injuries for the sake of the whole mission was totally reasonable. If she fought them to death, she wouldn't be that badly wounded. Everything went on right, but why the hell Shikamaru was so upset about that?!

Temari would have laughed at him right now.

The hallway was ten steps across.

Not enough to calm one down.

Not enough to waste time efficiently.

Waiting was hell. Even worse than the war itself.

Somebody quietly approached. Long mantle and wide hat, that covered the only visible part of this man's face.

Sixth Hokage.

"Report the situation." Kakashi said.

"It was a success. The capture group will soon arrive with eight prisoners. We'll start interrogation right away."

"How is she?"

Shikamaru clenched his teeth.

"She was wounded badly. We had to relocate the trap setting further from Hidden Leaf because of that."

"I see. Do you know about her condition right now?"

"Tsunade-sama is working with them."

The door to operation room opened.

She looked as young as usual, still hiding away her real age. Light colored hair tied in two tails. She didn't even have a change in her clothes. Fifth Hokage. As if Shikamaru actually came back in time of his first mission as a chunnin, as a group leader.

"Temari is in no mortal danger right now." She didn't even bother to greet her successor.

Huge weight was lifted from Shikamaru's heart, and yet something still didn't felt quite right.

"I can sense a 'but'." Sixth carefully mentioned.

Tsunade-sama gave him a glare.

"Her injuries were serious, but not mortal. That wasn't the reason Sakura called for me. It was these." She showed them one of the needles pulled out from Temari's body. "It was covered in poison. Only a very rare type of black scorpion produces it, they're almost extinct because of that. The poison that isn't compatible with any other toxins. I've only seen it work couple of times. It's untraceable, it is immediately dissolved in blood. It starts to work at the same moment it enters body. And this poison has no cure."

Shikamaru felt like the ground suddenly disappeared.

"No cure... but you just..."

"Yes, that's right. This poison is not used to kill, you see. Plus, it's easy to build up an immunity against the toxins. Just five bites of the black scorpion are enough to never be affected by it again. The cost is too high, though."

"What do you mean by that?" He was slowly losing his patience.

"The poison makes a person lose all the connection to reality, and at the same time amplifies the sense of fear and pain. So basically, a person starts to hallucinate as if they were in completely different dimension full of terrors and pain. Well, let's just say it's not pretty. Plus, it gets worse with each bite. All people who were bitten five times had lost their sanity forever." Tsunade-hime paused. "The poison works immediately, it's a great tool for capturing and interrogation. Judging from what I saw, that's Temari's third black scorpion bite. Or else she'd be captured long before she could reach your trap."

"So?" It was Kakashi to ask that. "What to expect?"

"She won't wake up for the next three days. Hallucinations had already started, you see. It's no use talking to her right now. Better proceed with interrogation."

"I see."

"Can I... see her?" Shikamaru said.

"Are you sure? It's going to be really ugly."

"I am sure."

Tsunade exhaled.

"She won't see you. And even if she does, she won't recognize you. Not even your voice, not your touch. There's nothing you can do, but wait and help her recover after that time is over."

"Still..."

"Let him do that." Kakashi said. "Shikamaru, you have a week off, starting from tomorrow. Take good care of her."

"You're spoiling him too much."

"It's ok. He won't be able to work in this state."

"If you insist." Fifth Hokage now turned back to Shikamaru. "But I still wouldn't recommend that."

"I don't care."

Just the thought of waiting again was painful enough, not even mentioning leaving the person you love in agony alone. No, if she was going through hell, he wanted to go through it with her. That what he swore to do when she became his wife.

"Just remember. It's not her right now. No matter what she says, don't listen. Even if she would scream or beg. Do you understand?"

"Yeah."

Temari was still pale from the blood loss, and her body was covered in bandages, making her look like a mummy. Medical ninjutsu was not magic. Not on the level when wounds will just disappear. Expecting something like that would be plain stupid. The body needed time to heal and restore strength on its own. Temari's wrists and ankles were tied up to the bed with thick leather stripes. Another one, that went across both shoulders and her chest, was to make sure that she won't be able to get up. It was almost impossible for her to move at all, and yet she remained still. Tsunade-sama said that sick visions, that can eventually destroy her mind, had already begun. And yet there was nothing.

Shikamaru didn't believe that this poison can bring down someone like Temari with principles made of iron and mind made of steel.

"Let them know if you need anything." With this Tsunade left.

Nothing happened for about an hour. That's why he nearly missed when her hand twitched for the first time. Her fists clenched, she strained her muscles trying to set at least her arm free. Then another arm, her legs. Everything was useless. Before he knew it, she was trying desperately to break free from her restraints with all the strength left in her body. Even consumed by the terror she remained herself, biting her lips so hard that they would bleed. It was another six hours later when she wasn't able to hold her scream back anymore.

Whatever she saw in her dreams, it was hundreds of times worse when she was awake. Her eyes were open, but her glance was empty. With her whole body struggling in the restraints she would start talking. None of her words made any sense. No matter what it was that she was seeing, she never begged for her life. With her golden hair sticking to her cheeks still wet from tears she would ask for death. She begged to kill her three hundred sixty-one time. And the words 'I want to die' she said another two hundred eighty-seven times.

'That's not her.' Shikamaru kept telling himself, with his vision blurred by tears.

It was just as Tsunade said, she didn't recognize anyone, and she didn't react to anything. Not even when he held her hand, whispered her name or kissed her forehead. She didn't notice it at all. But sometimes that was enough to calm her down, to fall asleep into another nightmare. And then she remained silent for another couple of hours before she started screaming again.

It was hard to tell just how much time had passed. The only hints were the medical nin dropping by every couple of hours. They didn't say much, but they were useful to calculate the time.

By the third day, she seemed smaller than she was before leaving Hidden Leaf, probably the lack of proper food was the cause. Her skin seemed whiter with red swollen eyes and tangled hair. She looked like a ghost of her usual self. And yet when she gently squeezed his hand and turned her green eyes onto him, He knew that she was herself again.

"Shika... maru..." her voice still weak and broken made him jump up from his seat.

The restrains left ugly scars on her body. He didn't really care what the doctors would say on this matter, he just couldn't bear it any longer.

She even felt smaller, when he embraced her.

"I'm fine now." It was a lie. Lie so obvious that he didn't even need to think about it. With her whole body trembling like that there was no way in hell she'd be fine.

"Don't you ever try to do that again." He finally said. His voice was trembling too.

"You realize that I can't promise you that?" She tried really hard to sound like her usual self.

He didn't have time to reply. The door opened. Just as he thought, the doctors were not happy about him releasing Temari on his own. But with Tsunade standing right in front of them all they could do was giving him angry glares. But he still didn't care.

"How are you feeling?" The former Hokage asked as she came closer.

"I'm fine." Temari repeated her lie. This time she sounded more confident about that. They've had to let go for the brief check-up.

Tsunade-hime frowned for a moment.

"How old were you when you got first bitten by the scorpion?"

"Six." Temari said.

"Why?" Tsunade demanded.

"For the training."

"Did your father knew about the risks of putting you through that at such young age?" She seemed angry. "The bite is devastating enough to drive a grown up man out of his mind!"

"He knew. I would have proven myself worthless if I didn't pull through that."

"Second time?"

"I was twelve. To build up immunity. It came in handy after all."

"But why? Those scorpions are almost extinct, there's no way one could use the poison."

"Father ordered to breed them. The day he died all of the scorpions disappeared. I guess I can safely assume where to now."

"You know, that you only have two more times left?"

"When this is over, I'll destroy all the bastards myself."

Tsunade looked at her and nodded.

"You should go home now. It would be easier that way." Fifth Hokage headed to the door. "Shikamaru, come with me for a while."

They've left the room. Once the door closed Tsunade started to talk again.

"I hope you understand that it doesn't end here. I can't tell you for how long, but she'll still see and hear things. Don't let her off your sight."

"Understood."

While he was talking with Tsunade, nurses helped Temari change. She was now sitting on the bed and staring into the wall. Another hallucination?

She twitched when he crouched right in front of her. She blinked few times and then stared back at him.

"What?"

"I'm thinking."

"Huh?"

"Do I let you play tough or not."

"What's up with that?" Her eyes narrowed down.

"No it is." And Shikamaru picked her up. "Let's go then."

"I can walk on my own!"

"I know."

"Then let me go."

"Don't want to."

"This is embarrassing."

"So what?"

She was pouting. And probably angry. But in no condition to fight. She herself knew that much.

Shikamaru sighted.

"Look, I get it. You hate feeling this weak. And knowing you, you'd probably make it to the house even if it kills you. And that's exactly why I don't want any of this to happen. Sick people should rest. So bear with it for a while."

"I'm not sick." So stubborn.

"Yeah, yeah. I know."

She wrapped her arms around his neck.

"Make it quick then."

"Yes, ma'am."

The wall in Temari's hospital room was bleeding. Tiny dark spot appeared there, when Tsunade left the room with Shikamaru. Then a bright red drop fell down leaving a trace on a white wall. The blood was dripping through the spot as if it was a mortal wound. And then, something there started to move, crawling its way to the surface. Temari could see a pair of dark claws breaking through the wall, a long tail armed with stinger, eight pairs of jointed legs appeared one by one. And finally pitch black abdomen crawled through the hole. After the first scorpion was out, two more started to crawl out after him. More, and more till whole wall was covered in them.

When the familiar face appeared out of nowhere she turned her eyes away. The scorpions were gone. So was the blood. She blinked, but the vision did not return.

'This is going to be hard.' She thought when they've left the room. She saw dark spots on the walls, on the ceiling, on the people. As they've started bleeding she averted her eyes.

'It's not real.' She told herself. 'It's not real.'

But then again, she heard the scorpions crawling their way out. When they've left the building, everything was already black.

Shikamaru knew he made a right decision the moment they've left the room. No matter how hard she tried to hide it, Temari's widened eyes, clenched teeth, tightened grip would tell the truth. The picture she was seeing was completely different from his.

"Temari." He called out when they've left the hospital. "You ok?"

"Yeah." She said relaxing a bit.

The city was covered in blood as they've walked through it. At least that's how Temari saw it. The streets, the houses, the people. It looked like some kind of massacre happened throughout the village. And people were not people at all. In fact, they looked like the corpses. That one had no head, and the other's got at least ten knives sticking out from his back. People with half of their faces missing were smiling at her. The burned ones were waving. Those with bleeding wounds were shouting something friendly at her. And everyone was looking.

'It's not real. It's not real. It's not real."

Bloated with water, burned to the crisp, gutted, skinned, torn apart, beheaded, deformed corpses were smiling, waiving, calling, staring...

Staring...

Staring...

Every corpse around here was staring at her with a soulless smile...

'Don't stare at me! Don't stare at me! Don't stare at me!' Her inner mantra changed as she once again felt herself terrified.

"Shikamaru." No matter how hard she tried, she couldn't stop her voice from shaking.

"You ok?" His voice broke through the vision once again. Walking corpses were gone.

"Yeah." She replied. She felt herself trembling again. "Faster."

"Ok."

Midway her tough act started to crumble.

Faster.

And so he did.

Few familiar faces were there in the crowd, but he still ignored them all.

"It's not real." She would repeat it countless times with just her lips moving. He swayed from the main street to the shortcut. Will have to jump over few fences, but that wasn't the problem.

"It's not real. It's not real. It's not real." She was mumbling to herself.

"What's not real?" He asked.

"Nothing's real." She replied.

From here he could now see his house.

"Something has to be real." Just a little bit longer.

"You are real."

"That's all?"

"Yeah."

All that's left was a front door.

"You ok?"

"Yeah."

"We're home."

"Yeah."

"Is it real?"

She turned around, looking at familiar walls.

"Yeah."

"What are you going to do now?" She was calming down already.

"Shower." She said in her usual voice.

"All right." He didn't let the smirk appear in his face.

"Shikamaru, what exactly are you doing?" She asked when he followed her to the bathroom.

"I could use the shower too."

"You don't have to do that." She said stubbornly. "I'm fine. Don't worry."

"I'm not." He said pulling his shirt off. "I just miss you."

For a moment they were staring into each other's eyes. Lies. Whole bunch of lies that was. They both knew well enough that the other was lying. And yet, calling his or her bullshit will mean ruining your own lie. That's why their relationship could play out so well. There could be no lies to begin with.

"Fine then." She said. They're going to play with the lies.

He grinned at her as he moved closer.

"See, it's not so hard." His lips barely touched her ear as he said that. He almost heard her pulse getting quicker. Whole missing part wasn't exactly a lie. "We can play this game if you want."

She lifted her head to meet his gaze. Her eyes though still red and swollen had the same glimmering power in them, scary, but alluring. Her skin even pale felt the same when he touched her face. His thumb brushed against her lips - bruised and yet as tempting as ever. He had seen many faces of this woman, but it was his first time seeing her broken.

But even broken it was still her.

They were just looking each other in the eyes, and yet it felt like a lot more.

"Are you going to shower wearing those?"

He didn't even need to finish that sentence when her clothes dropped down on the floor.

"Don't need them." She said reaching out for his lips, as her hands travelled down his chest to undo the belt.

...Scorching water will bring back the colors to her skin, and her bruised lips will smile again. She wasn't meant to be broken. That's why she'll recover. And stand even stronger than she was before. She can't remain broken forever, and she won't. Because that wasn't her way...

Author's note: You probably think I'm a total creep, but this is my favorite chapter of all I wrote. I do have an inner sadist in me, after all. Nevertheless, this chapter was the whole purpose of this story, I figured that out a bit later, though. You'll know in the next and final part.

If you read carefully chapter 9 and 10, you might notice one similar line both of them think "he/she will laugh at me". Truth to be told, I was surprised myself when I went through my draft version of this chapter. I was like: "Did I really write this?" Without even thinking too much about it I went and wrote the most essential part of their relationship. I mean just how highly they think of each other's opinion. And that is just too cute.

Now for the visions part… I wanted to make them creepy. And if you think that being stared at is not scary… well, I kind of put there my personal nightmare. Only I's real for me, lol. It kind of turned out to be very important to me to write it like this. Even thought I tried to soften it a bit, compared to my original version, haha.

And the last sensual scene… omg, I love it! The last words are way too perfect for me to write them, haha. Love this chapter. Even if I went and overdid it, destroyed original characters, wrote total OOC… I kind of don't mind it. This chapter is just like I intended it to be, it reveals the most twisted parts of my mind, after all. I don't regret anything.

Next chapter is the last one. Chapter 11 title would be "Father". Can you figure out who am I going to write about?

See you!