Moments
Chapter 11: Father
Somebody knocked on the door.
"I'll get that." Shikamaru said. Although what he really wanted to say was "You'll be ok?" Temari could see that much.
"I'll be fine." She didn't have to lie about that anymore. It has been already three days since she woke up from the poison. The visions would still visit her from time to time, but they were not as intense now. It was easier to block them out.
Usual routine helped out a lot, actually. Something like daily chores would take her mind off the things she was seeing. Although, Shikamaru would still watch carefully when she was cooking.
"All right." He left the kitchen to get the door.
Visions usually would start when she was alone. And yet, couple of minutes had passed and there was nothing. She exhaled, relaxing. Somehow, she forgot to breathe.
She was still chopping the vegetables when tiny black scorpion crawled up her hand.
She froze.
"Temari." The voice that called her name was very familiar. To the point that she felt herself a little girl again. "What is your true worth, Temari?"
Simple black clothes. He preferred that color ever since the day mother died. Dark red hair cut short in the most efficient way. And those eyes... strict merciless eyes of his. The way he was looking at his children was never even close to be gentle. The gentle part of him died together with his wife.
Father.
"What is your worth, Temari?"
He asked again, just like that day, when he called her to his office where a plain box full of jet black scorpions was waiting for her.
He said those exact words at that day.
"Girls are weak. Are you weak, Temari?"
"No." That's was her answer.
"Then prove it to me. Show me your true worth." He opened up the box.
The last thing she remembered was tiny black scorpions sitting on her hand.
There was nobody to pull her out from the nightmares that time. Nobody to hold her or guard from visions. She had to endure it in her own. And even when her father was calling for training, she would still come, no matter what she was seeing, no matter how scared she was. Her father never smiled or said anything about that. But the approval in his eyes was enough to keep going.
The second time was similar. But he actually made her choose. That time, when she reached for the scorpions in the box, she was looking her father right in the eyes. When was the exact time she grew to be just as strict and stubborn as he was? She knew one thing though. That she didn't want to be like him. That's why she chose to become stronger, and tiny black stingers pierced through her skin.
The third time was different though.
This time, she wasn't alone.
And her father looked... disappointed.
"You've grown weak, Temari."
Tiny scorpions started to crawl up her sleeve.
"Temari!" Someone grabbed her hand with the knife.
Scorpions were gone, and so was her father. There was blood though, all around her. She dropped the knife she was squeezing in her palm. The reality came back and her hand was bleeding.
"You ok?" Shikamaru worried face was even worse than her father's disappointment.
She turned around and hugged him. For the first time since she woke up instead of "I'm fine" she said:
"I hate this."
They've stood in silence for a while.
"You've ruined my shirt." It was the only thing he said.
Temari couldn't help but laugh.
She was standing in front of the mirror. This time she picked simple dark blue colored kimono. The only advantage it had, was very short skirt, making it really easy to move around. As Temari was trying it on, she kind of wondered why she never wore it earlier. Before she tied up the belt she noticed something different about her body. Deep in her thoughts she touched her belly.
"What are you doing?" Shikamaru asked standing in the door. She could only see his reflection, though. But looking at him like this - topless and with his black hair down - made her forget what she was thinking about.
"Are you spacing out again?" He asked moving closer.
"No, I was just thinking." He was now standing right behind her.
"It left a scar." She showed him thin white stripe on her belly where she got hit during her last mission.
"Never thought you're the type to worry about scars."
"It's not that I worry. I just didn't notice it up till now." She said thoughtfully.
"Hmm?" She felt his breath on her cheek. "I've just got a good idea."
"What is it?"
"Why don't you take this off?" He actually pulled undone kimono down.
"You're greedy."
"I might as well be."
That night she was dreaming of her family. Living or dead they were all there. Temari could feel supporting shoulder of her husband right beside her. She saw Gaara's gentle smile and Kankurou's pouting face. She heard encouraging voices of her mother and Yoshino-san. Yashamaru and Shikaku were standing further away, looking upon the children with pride. And he was also there. A man with a heart as rough as the desert itself and as cold as it's nights.
Her father.
But this one time it was different.
For the first time in her life, the expression he was wearing was somewhat softer. His eyes seemed sad, when he looked at her.
He hesitated for a moment, as if he had no right to speak at all. But this time instead of his usual "You have to be strong", he said:
"Be happy, Temari."
When she woke up, she felt tears running down her cheeks.
The guy who came by their house that evening was the messenger from Hokage himself. Interrogation was over, and since rebels' headquarters location together with the names of the officers were known, it was now the time to attack. The messenger brought him all the intel they managed to pull out from the heads of eight assassins sent for Temari's life.
"Sorry to bother you on your vacation days, but we need you to prepare a strategy for the ambush." Those were Kakashi's words.
They weren't wrong from the very beginning. Everything started in Hidden Sand village around the time former Kazekage decided to attack Hidden Leaf. The moment his closest subordinates heard about his failure, they went into hiding. Ever since Gaara took his father's seat, the direction Hidden Sand chose to follow changed drastically. It would be a mere understatement to say, that some of the Sand shinobi remained unsatisfied and tried to rebel. But this group in particular had the most patience of them all, that was probably a reason why they've actually came this far. They were smart enough to wait it out after the first attempt failed, and even relocated their base. They've believed in fourth Kazekage's cause and yet misjudged the strength of the children he trained himself.
And that was their downfall.
They've had nowhere to run now.
It's easy enough to track someone down when you know his face and name.
They knew Hidden Leaf shinobi are coming. And at this point of time, they only had two options. To give up or take a fight. As proud as they are, it would be the second option.
The old believers will never perish. No matter which village it is, there still would be people who don't have any trust in shinobi alliances. And once another rebellious group is created, they would gladly join forces. Even after this fight the remnants of the past will not be eliminated.
That's why they were trying to build a new world without any reason to fight.
But it only works with the words.
It's in people's nature to fight.
Nothing has changed, after all.
Shikamaru was browsing through the papers he was working on. This time all five villages will unite once again to put a stop to this rebellion. But even when they win, it won't be over yet.
It's never over.
He never heard her coming.
It was only when she hugged him from behind that he realized she was there.
"When did you wake up?"
"A while ago." Temari said looking at the papers he was working on.
"What did you dream of?"
No matter how many times he asked this question, she never told him about any of her nightmares. It was more of a habit now; he didn't really expect an answer.
"My father."
"What did he say?"
"He told me to be happy."
"That doesn't sound like a nightmare."
"It wasn't."
"Shikamaru." She said thoughtfully.
"Mm?"
"You've made a mistake."
"Ha?"
She pointed at one of the papers.
"Over there."
She was right.
"Can you be at least a little bit cuter about this?" he rolled his eyes up.
"No." Dead serious. "Let me check those."
She grabbed papers before he could even react.
"What a drag…"
"I'm back." Shikamaru said heading straight to the kitchen. He knew he could find her there.
"Welcome back." She gave a faint smile as she turned around.
That was something new.
"You seem happy today." He noticed.
"You think so?" Temari went back to the cooking.
It was couple of weeks now since she spaced out last time. Tsunade was pretty sure that it was impossible to recover that quickly, even for someone as strong as Temari. And yet, for some time now she was just like before: a strict look in her eyes, hair tied up in two ponytails behind her ears, her whole self was brimming with confidence and power. And yeah, she looked happy. It wasn't obvious, but just a faint smile, a spark deep in her green eyes made a huge difference.
"Kind of." He said instead.
She shrugged.
Even though it seemed weird, that wasn't a bad thing. Shikamaru thought lighting up the cigarette like he would do in his office.
"Shikamaru..." as pure ice-cold fury was raging in Temari's voice, he realized that he made a grave mistake. She turned around with a plate in her hand. "Just how many times do I have to tell you not to smoke in the kitche..."
And then something happened.
The plate fell down from her hand shattering into dozens of pieces.
"Temari?.."
For a moment she was just as pale as the other day she woke up from the poison. And yet, it was different. It didn't look like spacing out at all, she was fully awake, pressing left hand against her lips.
"What's wrong?!"
"Just put out that thing and open the windows." She managed to say.
Couple of minutes later when the cigarette smoke left the kitchen she was still breathing heavily.
"What's wrong?" He asked again.
As she was fighting nausea, in her mind Temari was calculating. After all, she was always careful about THAT. However, last couple of weeks after she had left to Hidden Sand, then the journey back, being poisoned and then the recovery messed up her timeline completely. 'It's possible.' She finally thought to herself as the result came out. Her heart started to beat faster, as she realized what exactly happened to her.
"Nothing you have to worry about." Temari said. "Just no smoking in the house."
It was amusing to watch just how clueless he can be for a moment.
"Forever?" That was the silliest thing to ask.
"Nine months or so." She said with a straight face, as if nothing happened. "And then couple of years till the baby grows up."
Holding up her smile was even harder than fighting off the guys who wanted her dead.
"Huh?" Shikamaru's mind went completely blank as he tried to process it. "Huh?!"
She started laughing.
'Nine month', 'baby'... those words kept roaming around his mind until he finally understood.
"Y-you... are..."
"Is that too troublesome for you?"
"You are the troublesome one." She was still laughing when he hugged her.
The idea of becoming a father was still somehow strange to him.
"Hey, Shikamaru." Her voice sounded unexpectedly gentle.
"What is it?"
She moved closer so that she could reach his ear.
"Thank you." She whispered.
She wasn't just looking happy, he realized. She was happy. As she was never before in her life. It was almost blinding to look at her.
Suddenly the words she said once came to his mind. "If I'm ever to become a mother, then I'd choose to protect my baby forever. Even in my death. It runs in the family, after all." It was so long ago, that it almost seemed like a different lifetime. But he still remembered the gentle smile she had on that day. She would do that without hesitation. He knew she would. That's why this time around Shikamaru thought: 'Then I'll protect you.'
The End
Author's note: Did you guess it right? Original idea was about Rasa. But then the last scene came to mind, and… so technically… there's no right answer in the end, sorry, haha. For the 'mistake' scene I almost wrote Temari's line as "No, that's not me". Well, hello there Arya Stark. Haha.
Alright, final chapter is here. I'm very thankful for all the support and the comments you wrote! I'm very happy to know that you loved it! I tend to lose confidence in my own writing pretty often, so, yeah. Words cannot express how grateful I am. Haha.
I wanted to write a lot more here, but the story won't let me go just yet. Somehow I ended up writing one more extra chapter, so bear with me for one more day, haha.