A/N: This is going to be the last chapter of this story - might add a Oneshot later but this is it for now, my first finished multi-chapter Blindspot fanfiction. Thank you all for going on this journey with me, it was a blast :)

I'm gonna go back to writing One-Shots for now, whenever I have the time which will be significantly less starting this week. Probably some angst because we had a lecture in medical psychology yesterday about PTSD and literally all I could think about was how we saw all/many of those signs in either Reade or Jane and those actors are such a godsend and I'm so excited for this show to finally start again!

Rant finished for now. Thank you for staying with me, thank you for all your favorites and follows and comments. Enjoy this. x

This first thing Jane noticed when she came back to it, was the music in the background. She let her eyes stay closed and listened to it like she had so many times before. Was she dead? No, how would a dead person hear a song they never heard before? Also, now that she focused on it, she felt the throbbing pain in her body.

So she wasn't dead.

She held on to that information while she tried to find the origin of the pain. Her side hurt the most but her head felt like it was about to explode as well and then there were a few bruises on her left shoulder but that seemed to be about it.

The song was sad, she realized when she was done checking on herself. But first she tried to focus on her surroundings. She doubted Shepherd would've let the music running before she killed her –

Shepherd.

Like a cold fist the thought of the woman gripped at her heart when she remembered – remembered slicing the other women's throat when she was defenseless in her arms, remembered the warm blood that had covered her hands as well and the blade she had dropped to the floor. She was a coldblooded murderer. She had killed the woman who had raised her.

Jane felt her breathing wanting to pick up but instead of letting herself hyperventilate, she held her breath and counted to ten.

One, two, three, concentrate, four, five, six, she was a terrorist, seven, eight, you did it to save Kurt, nine, te-

Just like that she lost the battle against herself and felt her head grow lighter with every fast breath she took until she suddenly felt a hand squeeze hers, whispering something that she couldn't understand. Her mind was trained on the image of Kurt at gunpoint – Roman holding the gun, about to kill him.

He couldn't have.. Breathe… Kurt's voice was in her head but he wasn't in the room with her, she could feel it.

Where was she?!

With what felt like superhuman strength Jane managed to tear her eyes open for the first time and in reflex she raised her hands to cover her eyes from the blinding light. Only her right hand did as she commanded, though, and she felt the IV line follow it. Quickly she let the hand drop again, careful of the IV stand this time while eyeing it suspiciously.

That was when she felt her left hand being squeezed lightly again and her eyes followed the touch, landing on the slender hand of Tasha Zapata. Somehow that made her feel worse. When her eyes met the Latina's she saw that she had been crying and all of the sudden the lump in her throat started growing again.

Why was Tasha at her bedside? Of course she knew that the woman was a friend and cared about her, at least that was what she had been telling her, but whenever she had woken up in a hospital or in the emergency room in the FBI, it had always been Kurt next to her, holding her hand, worrying about her. He had always been there.

As had Patterson… where was the blonde woman? Was she off, staying with Weller in his room in the hospital or… Jane gulped, fear returning to her full force.

"Kurt?" she managed to get out, her voice sounding and feeling like sandpaper, burning in her dry throat. Determined she extracted her hand from Tasha's grip, grabbing the needle in the crook of her arm and was about to pull it out when Tasha's hands covered hers again and she saw the other woman shake her head.

Defeated Jane gave up, tears rising to her eyes "Please" she whispered "Not-"

"He's fine." Finally her friend released her with those two words, grabbing her hand tightly again and pressing it to her cheek now. "He's fine. It's okay."

Jane felt her friend's shoulders shake, her hand lay helplessly in Tasha's grip who didn't seem to consider letting go anytime soon. She was confused. If Kurt was fine… why was Tasha crying. What.. Did something else happen to him? She couldn't bear it – the uncertainty, the worry, the wondering.

Pulling at her hand to get Tasha's attention she tried to get more words out "Where is he? I need to see him. I- Please." Her own tears returned but Tasha shook her head again.

"He's fine, I promise. He's at the office, taking Roman into custody but he'll be back as soon as he can. It's okay."

She closed her eyes, breathing out some of the worry she had held in and for a moment they grew silent again, Tasha still crying quietly – trying to get her act together – and Jane laying there with closed eyes, letting the music sink in. It was still the same sad song she had heard when she had woken up and somehow she had the feeling that the refrain that just started again, made Tasha shake even harder.

Who cares if one more light goes out?
In a sky of a million stars,
It flickers, flickers
Who cares when someone's time runs out?
If a moment is all we are,
Or quicker, quicker
Who cares if one more light goes out?
Well I do

"You know" Jane was so taken aback when Tasha addressed her again after the song had ended and an equally sad song started, that she needed a moment to coordinate her eyes so they would open up to meet the Latina's gaze expectantly.

"We care about you" she was just saying when Jane managed to focus on her words again "We care – I care about you and it would destroy me if…" she broke off and leaned closer to Jane's bed, her hand still firmly between her own "Your life is worth something and by getting yourself into these… situations… You risk all that. And you think it doesn't matter."

Jane stared at her, not knowing what to say or what to do.

"But it does" Tasha finally said, stroking the tattooed hand gently "You don't have to be this one-woman-army, running into every fight on her own. You have us."

Jane cleared her throat, her eyes growing wet again "I know but it was Kurt-"

"I know, I know" Tasha said, wiping her eyes one-handed, trying to regain some composure "You only wanted to keep him safe and I get it, I do. But we could've helped you. As it was we barely got there in time and –" she shuddered "We just saw you laying on the ground unmoving and Kurt hovering over you, yelling your name and we thought – We thought you were gone. There was so much blood."

"I'm sorry" Jane whispered, returning the grip on her hand as forcefully as she could "I didn't want that. I- I'm not even sure what happened..?"

"Well" Tasha coughed slightly "Thanks to your message we had the address and we were sure that if Kurt was in danger you would've gone there early, especially when you never asked for back-up, so Patterson summoned Reade and me to the office in the middle of the night, showing us where the location was in satellite images – which of course hadn't been updated in a while" she trailed of and took the break to get some tissues from the box on Jane's nightstand.

"We didn't know what to expect so we had to wait until we had a SWAT team on stand-by that could go in if something went wrong" the Latina explained "For some reason Nas was at the NYO as well when we got there and she seemed pissed when she realized what we were doing" Tasha smiled slightly "I don't know what got her panties in a twist but she seemed to be mad at the whole world."

Jane nodded and stated, matter of factly, "I sent her the wrong address." At Tasha's incredulous gaze she explained "The president told me to come to him or Nas if… when Sandstorm made contact. I shouldn't tell you or Director Hirst or anyone in the FBI, just them." Her face had gone blank, remembering the conversation and Nas' cold attitude, but when she looked up at her friend again, there was the old fire in her eyes "But this was Kurt. And I don't trust them."

After that Tasha shot her a long look. The longer it went on the more uncomfortable Jane felt under the scrutinizing gaze but she didn't look away. She knew Tasha was making her mind up about something and she didn't want to disturb her, so she simply met her eyes and hoped for the best.

Out of everyone on the team she was the one person that Jane didn't always know where she stood with her. Sure, Tasha was family, but she was also incredibly fierce in protecting the people she loved and Jane was and always had been, since she first met them, some sort of danger to her idyllic world. Not on purpose, no, but it still didn't go unnoticed.

Even when she didn't blame her after the Sandstorm attack, Tasha had been cautious, especially about her, Jane's, interactions with Kurt because as much as she liked to pretend – Kurt and Reade were her extended family, brothers not by blood but by everything else. Jane respected that. She knew that she wasn't the best company for him, she wasn't whole enough herself to complete him but for some reason he hadn't let her let go and she wanted to make that worth something.

"You trust us." It wasn't a question or an exclamation. It was simply a calmly stated fact, still Jane nodded.

"And you love Kurt." Again, a statement, and Jane nodded.

"You've told him on the voice note you left when you… left." Jane's eyes widened. "He let us listen to it, in hope we would find something he missed."

"Have you ever told him to his face?"

When she thought she was dying. Did that count? Jane simply returned the gaze, unblinking, not sure how to act.

"I think you're good for him."

"What?" Jane practically choked "No- I- I'm-"

"Yes" Tasha agreed "I know. But he needs you and you need him, right?" without waiting for a reply she continued "I want you to know that I trust you, too. I trust you with my life – with all of our lives, but I'm not sure you'll do the right thing by him. He needs you to do the right thing, okay?"

"I don't know what that is" Jane whispered, extracting her hand from Tasha's hold and clenching it to a fist, pulling it to her chest.

Her friend smiled sadly "Yes, you do. And if you can't do it, or don't want to do it for whatever reason – "

"I want to."

"Good. He would never tell you but he needs you to say those words more than you know."

Jane nodded, unclenching her fist and using the hand to wipe away her tears "You're a good friend."

Tasha's face was pulled into a grimace as she tried not to cry but she shook her head "I've been an asshole to you, I've made everything worse" a tiny sob escaped "And I can't believe you forgave me for that but… I'm so happy you did." She leaned forward, resting her head gently on Jane's leg, careful not to hurt her with the weight of it and closed her eyes as more and more tears began to roll down her cheeks. And here she had thought that she had already cried all of them…

Carefully Jane extender her left hand and threaded it to Tasha's soft dark hair, trying to soothe the woman she still couldn't believe was her friend. There was still music playing in the background and it was so sad, that she felt the tears return to her own eyes as well.

They stayed like that, unmoving, crying until Patterson burst into the room and brought the sun in with her – as she always did.

"Guys!" she exclaimed, before she stopped dead in her tracks upon seeing Jane's tear stained face "Are you okay?"

As if she had just been caught, Tasha raised her head, trying to wipe away the tears and act as if nothing had happened, shooting her friend a smile who simply raised an eyebrow at her.

"Don't you try that on me, Natasha Zapata, I know you too well for you to hide from me" she scowled at them "You didn't fight, did you?" When both women shook their heads she sighed in exasperation "It's the music! I didn't give you Jane's player so you could play the saddest songs on earth" she scolded the Latina and moved to said player to change the song.

"Sorry" Tasha replied contritely "I just didn't feel like putting on the latest David Guetta hit when she still hadn't woken up after losing tons of blood."

Glancing down on the playlist that had been playing, Patterson shot her a sympathetic look "Still, it's not that hard to play something happier than One More Light."

Clicking around on the player she managed to decide on a song with a happier tune and, pleased with herself, she put it back on the table and joined Jane on the other side of her bed – efficiently avoiding the IV stand.

"And now come and hug me" she said with a bright smile – the tears brimming at her eyes as well but barely visible "We've survived, we caught the bad guys and we're together. That calls for a group hug and love."

Patterson took a seat on her bed, reaching over to Jane – careful of her injuries – and motioned for Tasha to come join the hug, who did so after a heartbeat, standing up from the chair and sitting down on Jane's left side, moving her right arm between Jane's neck and the pillow and using her left one to pull the blonde woman closer.

Jane almost laughed at their ridiculous position but she realized soon that laughing hurt so she was content with staying quiet, enjoying the closeness of her friends and the song in the background she remembered listening to just last week.

It was an Arabic song, a female singer supported by a children's choir, about the wonders girls brought to her world, about the sweetness and prodigies. It was such a sweet song that it almost made her cry again – out of happiness because it was true, the girls, women, who were currently crushing her with love were one of the best things that had ever happened to her.

When Kurt and Reade came in half an hour later, the girls were still cuddled together, even if in a slightly less awkward position and had almost fallen asleep, startling when they heard movement.

"Relax" Reade said when all three ladies glared at them in shock "It's just us. They released us from the office." He took a step forward while Patterson and Tasha scrambled from the bed, sitting down in the chair and on the windowsill again. It was Reade who addressed Jane first while Kurt stood a little further away, watching her intently.

"How are you feeling?"

She smiled slightly "I'm fine, in a little bit pain but nothing I can't handle. Did you bring Roman in?"

Reade threw Kurt a questioning look before he replied "Yeah, he's being interrogated by Nas right now."

Jane nodded and wanted to ask something else but it seemed as if the topic was over for now and the team jumped into an easy going talk for a while. It was especially Reade, Tasha and Patterson talking, joking around and lifting the mood while Jane leaned back into her pillow, feeling tired after crying so much. Meanwhile Kurt moved closer to her the longer the conversation went on until he was standing next to her bed, holding her hand, gently brushing his finger over her soft skin.

The motion was so soothing that Jane almost fell asleep but she fought to keep her eyes open, to meet his gaze that seemed so vulnerably open just then. Both of them were lost in their wordless communication that it took them a while until they realized their friends had stopped talking and had gotten up.

Tasha stepped forward, squeezing Jane's left hand as she had earlier "We're going to leave you two to it. I'll be back tomorrow unless you can already go home."

"And then we'll welcome you home with a home-cooked meal and self-made cookies and a hot chocolate" Patterson interfered, giving her a half hug "Get well soon."

Reade joined the two women and in less than a minute the room was quiet again, neither Jane nor Kurt saying anything.

Jane's thought were whirling around in her head. She still missed part of what had happened and she didn't like it… she hated to not being able to remember something she did… but Kurt didn't look like he wanted to break out of the silence any time soon.

Carefully she turned her hand, getting his attention when she let her fingertips touch his before threading her fingers through his. Slowly she raised their entwined hands up to her lips and pressed a kiss to the back of his hand.

"What happened?" she wanted to know quietly, lowering their hands and resting them on the bed again.

For another minute he wouldn't talk and wouldn't even look at her but when he opened his mouth, his gaze met hers again "You saved my life" he whispered hoarsely "Again."

"That's what we do" she replied gently "But what happened with Roman? I only remember him having you at gunpoint and then he shot me… how did you manage to overpower him?"

He stared at her intently "He was beside himself" he answered thoughtfully "I think it was seeing the two people whose orders he followed his whole life that left him with a power vacuum, and he just stood there and stared at-" he broke off and used his free hand to cover hers from the other side, effectively holding her hand between his, taking reassurance from her warm body before he could continue.

"He was staring at you and Shepherd lying on the ground, bleeding, and I think he didn't know what to do with no one there to tell him, so I managed to grab the weapon from his hand again and hit him with the grip until he fell to the floor" Kurt swallowed hard "I didn't care, I don't even know how I did it anymore. All I could see was that you were lying there in your own blood and-" Again he trailed off.

"I was so scared."

"I'm sorry" Jane whispered but he shook his head.

"It doesn't matter. You're safe. You're alive."

Leaning forward Jane used her free hand to scoot over to the other side of the bed, making room next to her. She looked up expectantly, patting the sheet where she wanted him to sit and she could see in his eyes that he thought about declining – she could already hear his arguments about needing rest and hurting her – but when she met her gaze he simply nodded and carefully sat down next to her, winding an arm around her slim form.

Finally he could feel the warmth of her body warm his up as well.

Kurt pulled her as close to him as he dared, enjoying every second of the touch that proved to him over and over again that she was indeed with him – alive and breathing. When her head dropped to his chest he buried his face in her hair, breathing in the scent that – despite of the dust and blood – was his Jane.

It was the smell he would know anywhere and he would always come back to it because this was his home. She was his home and when he had seen her lying on the ground in that fabric hall he had felt homeless for the first time since he had known her. He had felt so lost and devastated and he couldn't believe it. He wouldn't believe it.

He hadn't believed for one second that his life could go on without her and that had given him enough strength to overpower Roman and crawl to her side, screaming her name, putting everything he had into the pressure he put on her wound, silently forbidding her to die on him.

She hadn't.

But he was sure that she had believed herself to be a lost cause when she had said those last words to him. The words that hadn't left his mind ever since.

Tightening his grip around her once more he asked the question he had wanted to ask for so long but had never dared to.

"You love me?"

Just like that he felt her tense in his arms and lean away from him. He wanted to scream at her to not leave him again, wanted to take the words back because he didn't need to hear them if that meant she would turn away from him because he needed her presence in his life more than he needed her to say that she loved him back.

He avoided her gaze, tried looking over her shoulder and out of the window because suddenly he was so scared again, but she was having none of it. When he didn't want to meet her gaze he felt her retrieve her hand from his and scoot even further away – as far away as possible on such a small bed anyway.

He felt more than saw her take his face into both of her hands, forcing him to look at her and when he finally did, he wasn't sure how to read her expression. There was the hint of a smile but there was sadness as well and there was – love.

"I do" she whispered and suddenly his world imploded and he felt the hot tears on his cheek while he stared at her in disbelieve.

"Say it" he begged with a sob, not sure if she would comply. She did.

"I love you."

Kurt closed his eyes, holding onto her arms for dear life while he tried to take one shaky breath after the other. He felt her arms wiggle in his hold and when he opened his eyes again, he was too disoriented to see her face coming closer to his and when he moved it was too fast, too late and their heads collided.

"Oh God" she stared at him, her eyes wide "I'm so sorry. I shouldn't-"

"Don't… apologize" he gave back gently, taking her face into his hands as softly as he could, feeling her hands drop from his cheeks to hold onto his arms for dear life. Ever so slowly he closed the distance between their faces until they were so close he could feel her uneven breathing on his lips.

She was still staring at him and he returned the gaze questioningly, asking for permission, not wanting to move faster than she felt comfortable with but when she did close her eyes with a tiny nod – he would've missed it hadn't he been this close – he closed his eyes as well and, closing the remaining distance, pressed his lips to hers softly.

It wasn't a very passionate kiss. It was sweet and tasted salty because both of them had tears running down their cheeks.

In the kiss he could taste all the pain they had been through in their lives and in their relationship but he could also feel her love for him when it was her tongue asking for permission to enter his mouth which he gladly granted. It was Jane who deepened the kiss, who pulled him closer to her and wrapped her arms around his neck as if she didn't want any more space between them than absolutely necessary.

He let her take the lead as he had always done because he knew how broken she was and how strong that made her and he wouldn't want to change that for the world.

Pulling back, still not believing what was happening he kept her face cupped in his hands, waiting until she had opened her eyes to look at him again.

"I love you" he whispered, pressing a kiss to her forehead like he had done so many times before, letting himself voice his biggest fear "Don't leave me."

"Kurt" he heard her whisper, felt the air moving because of their proximity, and when he looked down at her he saw how torn apart she was and he shook his head.

"None of that, please" he said with more certainty than he felt "Stay with me. Come home with me… Be whatever you want to be… But be with me. I know you love me. Don't overthink it until it's something bad. You know what you want."

"I do" she nodded in agreement "I'm coming home with you" and then she smiled, one of the smiles he hadn't seen in an eternity, a smile that was filled with more happiness than dread for once and he knew what she wanted to say before she did it and he was already nodding when she hadn't even finished her sentence.

"I love you. And it's because I love you that I want to try to give you everything you deserve, that you've given me." She drew in a shaky breath "I'm yours… if you'd have me…?"

Fin