A/N: Here's part two of chapter 11, finally! Make sure you do read the first half, if you haven't already. And, as always, enjoy!
There's only one thing more unbearable about Robin Locksley than his mouth, and that's when nothing is coming out of it. They've started a routine, one that mostly involves avoiding each other, but should they have to speak to one another, it's usually a simple greeting and then speeding off in opposite directions. It started the day afterward when Regina had returned to school. She'd gotten to school early in hopes that she could avoid Robin altogether for the day, but it seems he had the same plan in mind. It's all a blurry mix of awkward salutations and cringe-worthy staring, but it's been their new normal since that fateful day in her apartment.
He's giving her space- just as she asked- but, suddenly, she regrets ever making the stupid decision in the first place. Honestly, she misses him, but while it makes her feel ridiculous, she can't control the empty pang that goes off every time she sees him pass her in the hall with no word, making sure to avoid eye contact.
She misses his jokes and the foolish nonsense that he always seemed to have on hand. But, mostly, she just misses him. She's lonely without him. Of course, she has Kathryn and Tinka and the other girls, but she really misses Robin. She misses them being together and hanging out. She's happy that he's respected her wishes, but for once, she wishes that he'd be as stubborn as he usually is.
Then again, she could just make a move, but she's scared to do anything that could have a possibly bad outcome. She's afraid to move, she's afraid to breathe anytime she comes into close proximity with Robin. Much like today at their staff meeting, where they're all stuffed into the conference room to discuss the upcoming festivities—mainly Halloween, given that it's just shy of a month away. He's sitting diagonally from her, talking to Belle and Liam Jones, the brother of Tinka's boyfriend and the reason Tinka and Killian met in the first place.
Not that Regina has been spying or anything, but she's noticed that Belle and Robin have gotten closer. She's seen them several times together in the cafeteria, the office and the halls. And last week, Belle went out to his car duty even though she doesn't have car duty. Regina's tried not to get jealous because she knows it could be totally innocent and it's not like she and Robin are an item—hell, they aren't even speaking. But she'd be lying if she said that she isn't slightly worried that Belle French could be his new Regina, the one he spends all his time chasing after and caring for.
Her face heats up in embarrassment and she quickly glances around to make sure no one has noticed the pink tint blooming across her cheeks. But no one is even looking in her direction. Although, to be fair, there aren't many people in the room to begin with. The meeting doesn't start for another 20 minutes but Regina didn't feel like sitting around her classroom doing nothing. Plus, she wants to show initiative, in hopes that David will consider her for the assistant principal position next year.
When her eyes circle back around the room before returning to her smart phone, her eyes do find another pair on her. She doesn't even have to be completely looking at him to know that they belong to Robin. But she turns back swiftly to him and sure enough, she's caught his eye. He's left his conversation with Belle and Liam and is simply just watching her. He looks awkwardly at her before settling on a crooked smile that doesn't quite reach his eyes. She smiles back in kind, but he only looks away, down toward the conference room table.
She hates this. She really hates this. This is not what she wants at all.
She watches, as he pulls out his phone, most likely to give him any excuse not to look back in her direction. But it gives her an idea. Her attention returns to her own phone where she skims over to her messages and finds her conversation with Robin.
It's now or never.
Hi, she types.
It's simple. There's nothing to read into, nothing to get confused about, and yet, she knows it's a bad plan. She shouldn't be texting him, especially in a staff meeting (or pre-staff meeting), but she misses him. It's only been a better part of two weeks and she misses Robin and she might not ever say that point blank but deep down she knows that's how she feels.
Her finger hovers over the send button for several minutes before plucking up the courage to hit it. And then it's off in the universe, seeking out its recipient.
She waits impatiently and even gets the courage to glance up at him to see if he got it. She tries to read his mind and decipher whether he's gotten it, and if he is deciding whether he wants to ignore or respond, or if he just hasn't received it at all. But she really needn't because the moment he does receive the text, his head snaps upward to look at her.
This time neither of them looks away. In fact, Regina makes sure to hold her gaze steady to assure Robin that she meant to send the text. His Adam's apple bobs hard up and down his throat with a thick swallow.
She does the same and bites her lip, unable to help it and asks with her eyes if he's going to respond.
God, she shouldn't be this nervous.
Robin finally looks down at his phone, then back up at Regina, then once again at his phone. He slowly picks it up and types and Regina lets out a quiet whoosh of air.
Seconds later, her phone lights up with a notification. And Robin's eyes are back to studying her.
Hi, is all he's typed back.
Regina had literally just told herself, only moments ago, that the salutation was nothing but simple, and yet, here she is analyzing every side of the word. She stares down at the two letters that are now consuming her every thought.
She muses on them, trying to decipher if the hi is the gateway to exploring their friendship again or if he simply just wants to see what she wants. She wonders if it annoys him, her constant push and pull—it would certainly drive her crazy, but what effect does it have on him? Maybe Belle is better for him, simpler, less dramatic. It makes her ache in all the worst places thinking of him wooing another woman, but at least, he'd be happy, right? She really wants that. She wants him to be happy. Happy Robin is her priority.
U ok? He sends a few seconds later after she doesn't respond, and when she looks at him, he's squeezing his eyes shut and cringing, probably regretting sending multiple messages.
But it puts a smile on Regina's face because, at least, he cares. The only problem, now, though, isn't Robin—it's Regina, because she hadn't quite thought through the next part of the conversation. And it's mostly because she has no idea what she wants. Did she initiate the conversation in hopes that they could rekindle their friendship or is it for more than that? It makes her smile slowly slip into a frown.
There's another ping.
?
He's looking back at her now, watching as she nervously peruses her screen. Her eyes stay deadlocked on his as she types, Yeah, I'm ok.
He stalls, then, she knows he's waiting for her to say something, to tell him what exactly it is that she needs.
Sorry, didn't mean to worry you… she types quickly in a separate message.
Yeah, don't do it again, he answers with the winking/tongue out emoji and a happier crooked smile in person—and this one almost does reach his eyes.
Haha.
There's a pause in their conversation that lasts several minutes and Regina nearly concludes that that's it. Maybe she gave it all she had and that wasn't enough. She feels another pang in the pit of her stomach, which resonates through the rest of her body. She lost something that could've been good. She wants to tell herself that Robin screwed up something that could've been good, but she knows the truth.
But, perhaps, hope is not totally lost on them, yet, because Robin texts her again. And when she reads it, her heart takes the express lane down to her belly. But she doesn't even have time to process it as more teachers finally come clamoring into the conference room. The meeting is only for K through 2nd because they'll be throwing parties for the holidays, while 3rd though 5th will have Halloween and Christmas dances, but that means almost everyone has arrived and the meeting will be starting any minute.
Kathryn still hasn't shown up, so Regina reads the message again. She swallows, hard enough to start a cough, but she's never been so happy to be hacking up her chest, because the text is one that she's wanted to hear (or read) all this time.
She reads it again.
I miss you.
He misses her, which means that he still cares and there might still be a chance that they can salvage what they started. But she can't screw this up, and that means that she needs to salvage what they originally had—their friendship. She needs to take baby steps and, at least, repair their friendship, and with any hope, in the future, their relationship—if he wants one, that is. But reading his message that he misses her fuels the need to keep him in her life, first and foremost.
They once again lock eyes and she notes how his are soft and hopeful. She doesn't really know what hers say but they're probably a mix of confusion and bewilderment.
She types her answer measuredly, choosing each letter carefully. It's almost like she hopes she typed something differently when she's finished because she's surprised to see that the text reads, I miss you too…
But she sends it just in time, as David comes gallivanting into the room, with Kathryn frantically on his heels, bidding everyone a good afternoon. Regina's friend plops down beside her and joins in on the chorus of miscellaneous greetings from the peanut gallery. But Regina is too preoccupied to notice. Her attention is still focused on Robin, who's typing away and whose chest suddenly seems to be moving as rapidly in time with Regina's.
Regina peeks at her phone. I wish I could see you, he'd nearly answered immediately.
She forgoes analyzing anything—the pace of his responses, the wording—because all she cares about is actually talking to him, now. But she needs to pay attention to the meeting because nothing would be more mortifying than being exposed to the entire room that she's texting her colleague some borderline romantic things during a meeting that they're both attending.
But as David sits down his chair and squirms until he's comfortable, Regina takes the chance to type back.
You can see me. I'm right here. :)
Then, Or did my invisibility powers kick in?
She catches a glimpse of him chuckling at the text and it puts a smile on her own face. That's more like it.
I meant outside of here.
Regina rolls her eyes at him, but answers with a different emotion. I wish I could too…
They pause their conversation, as David calls for everyone's attention up front. He gives some perky introduction about how he hopes everyone is excited for the upcoming holidays, which elicits a few nods of approval, as well as, a few groans. Regina would be with the groaners if she wasn't busy waiting on Robin's answer. Robin, on the other hand, looks genuinely enthusiastic about the holidays. Poor thing is going to desperately wish he could take it back in a few months.
Her phone lights up again with a new text from Robin. She feels like she's all the way back in high school, sending notes during class to Daniel, while the teacher obliviously taught the lesson. She misses when life was that simple. She even dares to let her heart miss Daniel for a second, but now isn't the time to be reminiscing the past, while she might be mapping out her future.
When she reads Robin's text, it feels as though a rock has been deposited right into the bottom of her stomach.
You can come over tonight, he sends in one text and then follows with, John won't be there.
She stews on the text momentarily, trying to pretend as though she's listening to David, even though she's having an internal meltdown. She can't go to his apartment. That has bad, bad, bad, idea written all over it. She chews nervously on her lip, while she watches David's flap together. What is she supposed to say to him? How does she answer that?
She knows there's only one real answer she can give, so she types her honest opinion, I don't think that's a good idea…
When she looks over at him, he looks crestfallen, but he types back quickly. He sends two texts again. The first one reads, You're right.
And the second, Sorry if that sounded presumptuous.
It's not that she doesn't want to hang out with him. It's that she doesn't trust herself to sit around Robin Locksley's apartment, alone with him, and not want to kiss his stupid face the whole night. They need to go somewhere public where she can lay down the law.
Oh, it's ok. It didn't. I just think we should do something else, she answers swiftly to raise his hopes back up.
Another pause comes between them and she thinks it's for two reasons—the first being that she and Robin should be listening to the meeting because David could be saying something important (which he really isn't at the moment—he's only listing reminders like no homemade goods can be brought to the parties, nothing with peanuts, juice-not-soda is preferred, etc. etc.) and the second being that Robin needs to carefully consider his next move. She can see the gears turning away in his head as he contemplates his choices.
While he's thinking, Kathryn suddenly whispers behind Regina. "Who are you texting?"
Regina shoves her phone in between her thighs and looks over her shoulder. "No one," she hisses.
Kathryn cocks her left eyebrow up and looks dubiously at her friend.
She needs to protect Robin, especially from her crazy friends. "It's Graham," she lies, "I'm trying to get my stuff back."
Kathryn and Regina had made up the minute Kathryn had heard about Graham. They are now both women scorned and Kathryn has made it her sole responsibility to "carry Regina through this difficult time." Meanwhile, Regina hadn't given much thought to Graham in the last couple of days. Of course, she misses him, but at the end of the day he was an ass, who immediately jumped into bed with someone else the second Regina couldn't give him a deeply important sentiment that she was entirely not ready to give. But either way, he's now the reason that she and Kathryn have reunited and that is the most important thing.
"Oh, honey," Kathryn sighs out sympathetically, giving Regina the sudden urge to smack her, but she refrains.
Her phone buzzes between her legs and she has to appear unexcited, particularly now that Kathryn thinks she's texting Graham.
Coffee? My treat this time, promise, the text reads.
Coffee is nice. Coffee is good. It's public and gives many chances for an out. Not to mention, it doesn't feel like a date or anything so there is no pressure. And coffee is practically a tradition for them now. Coffee is a good way for friends to talk.
Despite the friendship angle, though, Regina doesn't pass up her opportunity to flirt, What? You mean your latest conquest doesn't want to support our caffeine habits?
She watches him smirk out of the corner of her eye, but then he goes slightly serious, leaving a hint of laughter behind in his features. Well, I'm afraid I haven't had one in awhile… Been a little sidetracked with one lady in particular.
Is that so? She side-eyes him, only to see he's doing the same.
He nods when he types back, Indeed.
How's that going for you?
He actually looks over at her, this time. His face scrunches up all cute and playfully angry, making her heart melt all over her chest. She doesn't even bother stopping the stupid grin on her face, even if Kathryn is watching her.
He turns back to his phone and types away. Well, I kinda cocked it up but I'm hoping I can maybe patch things up with her over coffee this weekend.
Regina nods and answers, I think she might be more receptive with a latte in hand, so I'd say you've got a good plan.
I hope so. How's 10-ish?
10-ish is perfect.
Perfect.
Their eyes meet again across the room. He looks happier already and that makes her happier. No matter how hard she tries, she can't seem to peel her eyes away. She supposes she'll just have to admire the one piece of art that is Robin's smile, for the rest of the meeting, and she's never been happier to do so.
[:]
She's running a little late and she frets all the way there that Robin is going to think she bailed on their date—no, not date, just coffee—two friends hanging out in the same coffee shop. This is so messy and confusing and an all-around bad idea for them, she knows it, but she wants more than anything to try to keep him in her life.
She has to keep him in her life.
Earlier, in the sanctuary of her own apartment, she'd rehearsed what she was going to say to him. Although, she knows perfectly well that no matter how much planning went into it, the conversation is not going to go the way she imagines it. But, that's something she likes about her relationship with Robin, in general—the surprise, the variation, the great and glorious unknown.
Ironically, that is entirely uncharacteristic of her. Usually, Regina likes order and structure. She hates surprises with a passion and she completely loathes the idea of circling in the realm of the unknown. The more knowledge about a situation she has, the more comfortable she feels. Some might call it being a control freak, but she just calls it being smart. Except with Robin, being smart seems like her smallest priority. Common sense and logic go right out the window. It's so incredibly foolish of her because she's throwing a bit too much caution to the wind, but all need for reason has passed when she enters her little microcosm with Robin. That's part of the reason she's chosen the venue. Public settings like a loud and bustling Starbucks is bound to keep her, at least, mildly grounded.
It's not like she can't abstain from being a complete and total idiot around Robin, it's just that she feels less pressed about worrying about it. But today of all days, she has to be vigilant. No looking into his beautiful, deep blue eyes and changing her mind or deviating in any way from her original plan (especially, if she can control it). She'll make amends and then offer a friendship—it's simple and easy, only an imbecile could mess it up, and yet, she's fearful that she'll be said imbecile.
She continues to recite her monologue on the drive over. They've chosen the same Starbucks that they first went to, which, in hindsight, isn't the best plan, or at least, won't help the situation any, but later, after the meeting, when he'd asked her if she was okay with meeting him there, she hadn't given it a second thought. Plus, she's not fond of the one next to her place because they have a tendency to burn her coffee. So, the one closer to Robin (and right next to Graham's, unfortunately) seemed to be the better option.
Regina hadn't really entertained the idea that she could possibly run into Graham while they're there, and of course, the thought inconveniently surfaces during her drive, causing her to nearly rear-end someone at a stoplight and almost makes her turn back. But she can't live in constant fear of running into her exes or people she's cut ties with. It's what drove her out of Phoenix and if she now has to leave Albuquerque for something similar, she might as well move to the east coast—maybe to a nice beach house in the Hamptons.
But, at least, she isn't going to the shop alone and Robin wouldn't let her run even if she wanted to. Plus, Graham isn't fond of Starbucks, anyway.
She's grateful she resolves herself to that, as she finally reaches the Starbucks and parks. She skims the parking lot for Robin's car but she doesn't see it anywhere. Her worry deepens and causes her throat to close up just a little. What if he thought she wasn't coming and left? She should've texted him on her way there.
But, she turns off the engine and gets out of the car, in hopes that maybe he's also just running a little late.
Surprisingly, the shop isn't as busy as she anticipated. Then again, it is a Sunday morning and many of the churchgoers are still attending church and non-churchgoers are more than likely making a lazy day for themselves and haven't even gotten out of bed yet. It makes the atmosphere calm and quiet. Regina quickly scans over the entire room, looking for Robin's face, but she only finds an elderly couple chatting in the corner, a group of teenagers in the middle and a man, with silver hair and glasses, reading the newspaper, next to them.
She can feel that panic itch up her spine once more. Maybe she should text him. But, she doesn't want to seem overly eager, so she opts for ordering her coffee and giving it a few minutes.
When the girl asks what Regina would like, she thinks back on her first trip with Robin to this Starbucks when he told her that she was high maintenance. Oh, she had loathed him so much then. It's striking to her how much has changed in a mere three—nearly four—month period. She didn't even believe she'd see him again after that day. Of course, she knew that she might see him in passing since he often frequented Graham's apartment building, but she never suspected that they'd ever be as acquainted as they are now.
She orders a venti iced vanilla latte. (See, she can be not-so-high-maintenance) It's still warm enough to get a cold drink every now and again. Truthfully, with the way the weather is now, she'll probably be able to drink iced coffee for at least another month.
She's still nervous when she plops down at the one table in the opposite corner away from all the rest. It might've been a better idea to sit among the other patrons. Seclusion could give off the wrong impression. But, she has a good view of the door where she's seated and she doesn't particularly care for the others to hear their conversation, so the Isle of Isolation is where she'll stay.
Regina tries her hardest to steady her hands as she clutches onto her cup for dear life. In the back of her mind, she's still rehearsing her speech. Her fingers twirl her straw aimlessly, as her eyes watch for the door.
Her mental speech starts to get drowned out by her subvocalized worries. She tries to tell herself that it's fine and that if he isn't coming, then he's the one without, but it actually bothers her that he hasn't shown up.
She starts to consider leaving, starts to muster some courage to get up and walk out the door but she keeps hesitating with the hope that he'll still show.
And the gut feeling isn't for naught. Robin shows up, looking winded with wild eyes, quickly and distressingly looking around the shop for Regina, who throws her hand up beside her face to get his attention. When she has it, he waves and takes a step in her direction, but she shakes her head and gestures to the counter, instructing him to get himself something to drink. Whatever excuse he has can wait.
His order takes only a minute or so, and then he's finally making his way towards the table.
As he sits, he apologizes, still out of breath, "I'm so sorry. I woke up late, then I couldn't find my bloody shoe, and then, about halfway here, I realize I left my blasted mobile at the apartment. I thought to turn back but I was already running late, didn't want to keep you."
Regina dismisses it with a hand. "Don't worry about it." Although, she'd be lying if she weren't a little peeved, but she's not really all that surprised.
Robin goes about studying her. His eyes trail down and then back up, with a gentle smile chasing them. But his eyes finally land on her coffee and he points a finger at it, saying, "I'm supposed to buy you that."
She waves her hand again. "It's okay, you can get me next time." And she mentally applauds herself for that one—just casually slipping it in that she wants to make this a ritual thing.
Robin doesn't let it just slide, though. His eyebrow tips up and he smirks a little. "There's going to be a next time?" he asks, with that smirk growing bigger around his cup as he takes a sip from it.
Regina, on the other hand, fights the urge to roll her eyes, but that doesn't stop her from giving Robin a small grimace. She answers him tightly, "Yes, as long as this goes well."
He chuckles. "So, what you're saying is, I should muck this all up so I can get out of buying you coffee?"
"If you so wish," Regina responds calmly, but the end of her answer is, at least, an octave higher than her normal voice and she knows he can detect the faint smile that's slowly creeping up on her features.
He shrugs at it and counters with, "Or I can take you out to dinner."
It catches her off guard and it takes her a minute to catch up. She can feel that crushing pressure take residence on her chest. Perhaps, this isn't going to be as easy as she thought. He probably came with the notion that they're going to work out their relationship. Meanwhile, he's going to get ambushed with the fact that she just wants to be friends. It's a whole catch-22. If she gets in a relationship with him, she hurts him—if she doesn't, she hurts him. But she's weighed this out already. She knows that it'll hurt less in the long run if they don't get romantically involved at all. She just has to stick to her guns.
She swallows thickly, feeling that pressure only push down harder, as she tells him, "I don't think that's a good idea…" She casts her eyes downward as she speaks, too, trying to avoid the mix of pain, hurt, and embarrassment that he'll feel.
But, in her periphery, she sees him shrug. When she looks up, he appears unfazed and is even smiling a little. "I didn't think so but I, at least, had to give it a go."
He's trying hard to make this work and she appreciates the effort. But there's still a slight discomfort settled in the air between them. Hopefully, his jokes will carry them far enough.
She feels her eyebrows shoot upwards to her hairline, but recovers as best she can. "It was a good try, a, uh… valiant effort." She smirks at him, while taking a sip of her coffee and counting her blessings that that stretch of tension came and went quickly.
He changes the subject, then, and goes back to analyzing her. "How are you?"
She nods slowly, "Good…" she pauses, "just tired and l—" but she stops before she finishes the second word.
Telling him she's lonely might spur on a whole slew of questions and worries she doesn't want to create.
"What?" he inevitably inquires.
"Nevermind." She shakes her head, trying to gulp down another bit of her coffee to evade finishing the sentence.
He starts to look worried, just slightly. "No tell me."
"It's nothing. It wasn't important, Robin, I promise."
"You know, I get the feeling that you often believe your feelings aren't important," he remarks and he isn't wrong but that's her business.
"But why do my feelings concern you?"
"Well, don't you believe that you should be able to be open about your feelings?"
"Of course, I do. But, that doesn't mean you always have to be open about them."
"Why shouldn't you be, though? You should be honest about how you feel." She doesn't know if that solely pertains to their debate or if there is a little subliminal messaging going on with that comment.
"But sometimes that isn't what's best," she argues.
"Of course it is. People should always tell the truth."
Regina looks at him curiously. "Not necessarily. Telling the truth isn't always a good thing."
"But the truth will come out anyway, shouldn't you be the one to tell it?"
That is, without a doubt, directly related to what transpired between them before. She wonders if he's inadvertently seeking her forgiveness through this conversation. She doesn't mind scintillating banter with a hint of subliminal messaging. In fact, she'd rather have it. Regina Mills is direct about most things but her feelings have never been one of them.
"No it doesn't," she insists vigorously, while silently hoping that he's picking up on the piggyback conversation.
"Yes, it does."
"No, the truth only comes out if someone lets it come out," she tries to reason with him. "People never say the ugly truth unless they have to. Sometimes it's best for people to lie or omit the truth to spare the other person… or even to spare themselves. But there are justifiable reasons for not saying the truth sometimes."
Robin shakes his head. "I just don't see it that way. If people were always honest, then no one would ever have to lie."
She sighs exasperatedly. How had they gotten neck-deep in an existential conversation about right and wrong? She doesn't quite know but she does nothing to stop it. Instead, she keeps pushing the matter, "That isn't true. The first lie in this world probably occurred to prevent someone else from getting hurt, which is a perfectly excusable reason to lie."
Robin goes to rebut but then chooses to simply smile and shake his head—arguing is futile. But she wants him to see her point, regardless of whether or not he wants to hear it.
She sits her coffee down and leans backward in her chair, contemplating the best example she can give.
When she's got it, she looks at him squarely, and speaks with a bit of a pompous air, "Okay, say you thought I looked bad one day-"
"I would never think that," he interjects, still smiling at her.
Her eyes roll leftwards, and linger on the cars outside for a split second before proceeding. "Okay, well, hypothetically."
He makes a face and shakes his head again. "Improbable, but okay. Let's just go with it."
"Thank you," she says tartly. "Now, say you thought I looked bad but you wanted to ask me out-"
"Now that is more plausible," he inserts commentary once again.
There's the Robin she knows well, the one who can't ever just let her have her way, exactly as she wants it.
"Okay, so say you saw me at work and I looked like a mess, but you wanted to ask me out. Would you tell me?"
He hesitates. "Yes," he answers weakly.
Regina tips her head to the side and looks at him knowingly.
"But that's not lying," he challenges her. "That's omitting the truth, that's different."
"It's still a form of lying. If I asked you how I looked, what would you say?"
"Fine," he yields, or, at least, she thinks he does. "I might say you don't look bad, but then I would probably suggest that you change your outfit for our date." He cringes, then amends with, "Like, choosing a fancy restaurants so that you can put on a sleek, skimpy dress, rather than the hideous cat sweater you might be wearing."
"I would never wear a hideous cat sweater, just for the record," she points out.
"Damn, I was planning on getting you that for Christmas." He snaps his fingers, then pouts mildly.
He looks so adorable with his brows furrowed pensively and his bottom lip protruding just slightly, giving her a faint desire to nibble on it.
Oh, for fuck's sake. How did she ever think that this was going to work out?
She tries to remind herself that she's doing this out of selflessness, to protect Robin, even if she'll never look at him the same. Even if she spends the rest of her life pining after someone, who will never know her true feelings because she's trying to give his feelings a reprieve.
She wishes more than anything that she didn't have the ominous and overbearing details of Phoenix looming overhead. Or, at the very least, she wishes that she could just look into Robin's beautiful blue eyes and be honest about what happened on the night she left, but no person in their right mind would, or could, just accept what happened. She barely can accept it herself. She's curious to this day why the guilt hasn't completely eaten her alive. Maybe it's because she tries not to think about the specific details that much—that, and the memories themselves have become a bit fuzzy over time. Her mind has pushed away what she can remember, though, the sounds of sirens and the looks on her parents' faces and the blood, oh god, the blood—that's thing she tries to forget most.
If she could just find a way to steer the narrative of the story in her favor, she might be able to tell Robin the truth someday. But it seems, no matter how hard she tries, that Cora, despite being miles and miles away, still steals her voice every time.
All those people she'd once considered friends in Phoenix turned their back on her, without so much as a second thought. What would stop Robin from doing the same? Yes, Regina would be the one explaining her side of things, but then he could look into the biased new stories, which are littered with Cora's slanderous rhetoric against her own daughter. Or he could find an old friend (who wouldn't be Mal with her luck), and would spew the hateful shit that Cora fed them over the years in Regina's absence. Perhaps, he would even come into contact with Cora and—
No, no, this is exactly what she's trying to avoid.
Robin will never get close to Cora. The fact that he knows that she exists is enough for Regina, and that's it. He will never know about the cold-hearted, self-serving bitch, who made a pariah out of her daughter merely for spite. All he will ever know is that she is Regina's mother, who is currently dying, far away in a hospital in Phoenix, Arizona.
"You know," she hears him speak after clearing his throat—she must have been silent for too long, "I really wish that I could read minds because I want to know the truth. I want to know what it is people are thinking about."
The statement is pointed. He wants to know what she's thinking.
She goes back to twirling her straw. It's getting increasingly harder to look at him, so she opts for looking around the shop. "Or you could just ask them what they're thinking," she mumbles, as her eyes land on the teenagers, who now all have their cellphones out and are texting rather than having a conversation with the people in front of them.
Maybe she and Robin should adopt that habit to avoid where she knows the conversation has to go.
"But it's never that simple, especially with women—especially with you," he says. "There's always something subliminal, always some hidden whatever that comes back to bite you in the arse."
Regina muses quietly. Now is her chance to just say how she feels, which means now is the chance to deliver her speech, "You want to know what's on my mind?"
"Yes." His blue eyes shift nervously between her and the rest of the coffee shop, while the rest of him fidgets in the chair.
Oh, she doesn't want to hurt him. But she has to. If she wants to save him in the long run, she has to do it now.
She takes a deep breath, drawing together all the courage she could possible manage. It catches his attention, too. His tortured blue eyes befall her own and cause the breath trailing toward her lips to fall just short of them. The air is tightening around them like a vice, slowly and torturously cutting off her air supply. If only she could suffocate before the truth.
But she's never been a patient woman. She reaches for his hand, which warms against her own and makes her slightly regret the gesture. But her hand remains and even tightens, as her lungs expand, attempting another deep breath, before finally saying "Iwanttobefriends," on the exhale.
Her eyes try to dart away, and focus on something else, anything else, but she can't help but peek up at him. It'll be her greatest regret, because when she catches his pained, punched-in-the-gut look as he whooshes out a breath that he must have been holding, she feels like a class A bitch. She faces him full on with a bit of trepidation, worried about his next move, which starts with releasing her hand.
He probably hates her, now—great.
"It's just," she carries on in her defense, "It's just that I've been really emotional with this stuff about my mother and it brought up everything with Phoenix and I've just not been in a good place—and I'm still not, for that matter—and I just shouldn't have kissed you. I was overwhelmed with emotions and I let them take over and that was wrong of me."
He's nodding slowly, with his lips pursed and his (well-toned—had she noticed recently how built they look?) arms crossed across his chest.
She winces and peers down again at the fingers of her hand, which went back to weaving her straw between them. "Do you hate me now?"
He stays quiet, still looking as though he's concentrating very hard on something. She wonders if this is some new age passive-aggressive version of the silent treatment. This isn't a good idea. Kissing him in the first place wasn't a good idea. But she was stupid enough to let Robin's kindness mean more than it really did. She took something that could have been completely innocent, for all intents and purposes, and made it into this awkward conglomeration of potential feelings and confusion and friendship.
It's like she begs for trouble. Maybe she's more like Kathryn than she thought.
Oh, fuck that.
She's about to explain herself some more, but she watches as his tongue darts out to wet his lips, and then he finally speaks. "Do you regret it?"
Her head tilts sideways and her brows scrunch together. "Didn't I just say that?"
He smirks but shakes his head. "No, you said you shouldn't have done it," he surmises. "That isn't the same thing."
Her eyes squint and briefly scan his dubiously. She doesn't exactly follow but she doesn't really care to make a point to challenge it.
But he notices, so he tacks on, "It's like being on a diet and eating chocolate cake. You know you shouldn't have done it but if it was one good fucking cake, do you regret it?"
"You think it was a good kiss?" she queries smugly.
He makes a face of well-intended nonchalance but she doesn't buy it.
"Oh, darling," he says with a wink, "I know it was."
She scoffs, but secretly feels a little swell of pride. She knows he probably means that he's a good kisser, but making out, like they were, is definitely a two-player game. Somewhere in the statement, he meant a compliment for her.
She dismisses his comment with a shrug, though.
"Well?" he prompts her, his eyes growing big and curious.
She sighs softly. "I can't answer that," she says, with a sympathetic smile ghosting her lips, "because we won't know if I'm being honest or sparing your feelings."
He pouts again, but more boyishly this time. "Don't spare my feelings," he whines playfully.
She reaches out for his hand again, which is back on the table. Her eyes make sure to lock on his and hold his attention for as long as she can without feeling guilty about all of this.
"I couldn't even if I wanted to," she tells him quietly, giving his hand a gentle squeeze, "I want to live in a lying world."
He answers with a soft, pitiful smile, returning the squeeze with his own and she mirrors it, with the best of intentions.
"Okay, then. Friends," he murmurs softly.
So that's it, then. She and Robin Locksley are going to be friends—nothing more, nothing less—purely platonic. But the idea makes her gut twist just so as it flits across her mind. When they'd been curled up on her couch just a few weeks ago, she really had envisioned a life for the both of them together. She hadn't considered the option of them ever having separate lives, even if they'd taken different paths long before they'd met.
Maybe it was because she'd resolved herself to the idea that Robin was going to be in her life. He'd made that clear himself, anyway. But why is she so certain that she and Robin are fated to be in one another's lives? Or, perhaps, the better question is: why is she so determined to make sure that she and Robin are fated to be in one another's lives? She knows the answer to that question, without so much as a second thought. But, the answer that resonates in the core of her chest can't be known to anyone, especially Robin, so she buries it deeper and deeper, with the hope that no one, not even herself, can dig it back out. It can rest quietly with her other buried secrets, like Phoenix, and she can rest more peacefully knowing that no one else can be hurt with the things that she knows.
Regina looks down at their hands still joined together and she feels a rush of heat spread across her cheeks.
"Um," she clears her throat, as she gently pulls her hand away, "I have to get going. I, also, promised Kathryn I'd meet her for brunch today. It's supposedly mandatory." She laughs awkwardly with the last sentence.
"Oh, yeah," Robin says hurriedly, rising as Regina does, and nods in understanding.
They both awkwardly bob, when they come face to face, dithering between whether or not to hug one another. But they do, enveloping the other in their arms. She can sense his desire to linger but she squirms and wriggles to get out as soon as she can and he doesn't hold on. But he does grab her hand as she turns to go, pulling her attention back to him one last time.
"So, we're good, yeah?" he asks with a touch of eagerness and nervousness blended into the question.
She nods and smiles. "Yes, definitely."
"So, I'll—uh—see you later, then?"
"Yeah," she chuckles, "I mean we do work together."
He snorts. "Right. Will I see you again outside of work, though?"
She swallows thickly and tries to quiet the thunderous roar of nerves in her belly. "Yes," she nods curtly. "You passed."
He feigns an exhale of relief—or at least, she thinks he isn't serious. "Good, I'll text you, then?"
"Sounds good."
"Good."
She glances back at the door and then at her watch. "I really have to go," she tells him reluctantly.
"It's okay," he concedes with a lackluster smile and sans his dimples. "But, oh, Regina," he calls after her as she inches toward the door, "I won't give up on you that easily."
Regina doesn't bother to fight the urge to turn around this time. She dashes on her best smirk and approaches him once more. "I had no doubt," she whispers conspiratorially between them and then finally makes her way out the door, giving herself another hint of nostalgia, as she remembers their first meeting being much the same, with her running off and leaving him behind in a coffee shop.
[:]
Regina has no idea why Kathryn was so insistent on having brunch, but after their fight and Regina sparing her last shred of dignity to grovel for Kathryn's forgiveness, she figures it's best not to push her luck.
Kathryn's rounded up the entire group. It's herself, Regina, Tinka, Ariel, Rory and Belle . They're sitting at a table outside of Kathryn's favorite café.
No one knows what's going on but they're all engrossed in conversation with each other anyway, including Kathryn, but Regina's thoughts and feelings are elsewhere, far away with an adorable British kindergarten teacher, who she now has done the complete Regina Mills run-around on.
Part of her believes that it's simply because of fear. She did just get out of her relationship with Graham only two weeks ago. Starting a new one right away isn't very smart, especially with someone like Robin. She needs to be alone for a little while and figure herself out, just like she told Robin. Her life is a mess at the moment—that should be her priority. Dragging him into the mire of her life won't fix anything. She can rely on him, as a shoulder to cry on, of course, just as she can with the girls, but this is all messy and not a place for her to start a new relationship with someone, especially someone like Robin.
Right now she needs to focus on herself, maybe do some introspective therapy.
But, that doesn't carry her thoughts any further away from Robin.
"I think we need to get Regina a blind date," Tinka chimes in through the random chatter amongst their group.
It's like she can hear Regina's thoughts and knows just how to use them against her.
Regina shakes her head quickly, "No, no. I'm fine Ti. If anything I need to not do relationships for awhile."
Tinka groans aloud, "You need to get back out there." Her hands fly up and Regina finds that stubborn piece of her that silently rages against her friend.
"Look, Gina," Kathryn says kindly, reaching out for her hand. "Sitting around, pining for Graham isn't going to do you any favors."
"I am not pining for Graham," she scoffs disgustedly, as if they'd just suggested something terribly foul.
"Then why won't you get back out there?" Tinka pushes.
Regina massages her temples, which are beginning to throb. She thinks she's more unappreciative toward Graham and Robin for the influx of recent headaches than the lies and deceit.
"Because I just got back in here," she answers exasperatedly. "Why can't you focus on your love life and butt out of mine?"
"Because Killian and I are doing just fine, thank you very much," Tinka huffs, crossing her arms flamboyantly.
"Alright, Millionaire Matchmaker," Kathryn cuts in, "maybe we should just let Regina handle her own love life for now."
Regina nods to Kathryn. "Thank you."
Kathryn responds in kind with reaching for Regina's hand, giving it a squeeze and pairing it with one of her soft smiles that warms Regina's heart. "Just promise me you won't sign your life away to the convent, okay?"
"I don't think they'd even let me in, anyway," Regina mumbles.
The others erupt in laughter. After it dies out, Kathryn clears her throat loudly and looks around the table to assure that all eyes are on her. The girls, Regina included, do as expected and turn their attention to Kathryn, who's smiling politely and waiting for them to settle.
"Ladies," Kathryn begins with her hands folded on the table and her posture pin board straight, "I have an announcement!"
The women lean in closer as Kathryn tells them that she and Frederick have picked a date for their wedding. There's squealing and lots of talking that follow. Regina engages but her mind keeps wandering back to Robin. She wonders if Kathryn will invite him. Maybe she could just make him her plus one? But, of course, that'll look inappropriate. Besides, what makes her think that Robin would want to go to Kathryn's wedding with her, anyway?
More importantly, why is Regina fretting about this, now?
She tries hard to reconnect to the conversation happening presently in front of her. They're already talking about Kathryn's dress and their dresses and cake and flowers. It's enough to make Regina's head spin, but that's only the beginning of it all because Kathryn quiets everyone down and pins her attention on Regina.
"Gina," she says sweetly, batting her eyelashes up and down, "I was wondering if you would maybe be my Maid of Honor?"
It takes her by surprise. Yes, she and Kathryn are the closest out of the group of women, but that doesn't necessarily mean that Regina has to take that role on. It's most certainly more Tinka's style, and she nearly says so, but knows that it will hurt Kathryn's feelings. She has no choice but to accept the offer without looking like a bitch. It's not that she doesn't want to accept, but it's not like Regina exactly excels at things like being a Maid of Honor. All eyes are focused on her, so she accepts quickly with minor hesitation wedged between each letter. Kathryn lights up though, impervious to Regina's subliminal reluctance.
"Hey," Tinka playfully shoves Regina, "I was gunning for that."
"Oops," Regina answers with a shrug.
The circle of women laugh again (they never take her seriously), and then carry on about their conversation while Kathryn turns back to Regina and starts listing all the things they need to cover before the wedding. Regina attempts to stay as attentive as possible, but she feels out of sorts. She has that sense that she's forgotten something or accidentally left something behind and her mind is latched to it and trying its damned hardest to drag her back to it.
The rest of the brunch is a misery for her. She catches that Kathryn wants lilies for flowers and teal, gold and white for the wedding colors, but she misses chunks when her mind wanders too far off. Kathryn notices at one point and snaps at her, but it goes otherwise unnoticed by anyone else. She feels awful that she's already falling down on the job but she just can't focus.
Maybe she needs to go take a nap or do some yoga and clear her thoughts.
[:]
Eventually, Ariel and Rory mention needing to leave and Belle, who'd also been very quiet, follows suit. They all give their congratulatory niceties again before leaving and the remaining three ladies linger just a little bit longer afterwards.
"I'm so excited for you," Tinka tells Kathryn giddily, looking as though she nearly can't stay glued to her seat. "Ah, love is in the air and everything is good."
Regina scoffs, "Ha, speak for yourself."
Tinka merely shrugs. "I told you how to fix that."
Regina ignores her and just stands up. "Well, I need to go catch up on lesson plans."
"Yeah, I need to, too," Kathryn, sighs reluctantly, also rising from her chair.
The three of them march to the door and Tinka steadily talks the whole way to the car about how excited she is and all the fun things that they can do leading up to the nuptials. Regina is tuning her out, while Kathryn is murmuring a few monosyllabic responses.
Tinka parts first and makes her way over to her Volkswagen bug, while Kathryn follows Regina to her car.
Kathryn solicits outside of Regina's car and watches Tinka carefully. She waits patiently as Tinka gets in her car and buckles her seatbelt and adjusts her mirrors, but she doesn't say anything. Meanwhile, Regina does the same but wonders, too, why Kathryn is so concerned with watching Tinka, while also making sure to prevent Regina from getting in her vehicle. She can smell the drama coming from miles away—just what Regina needs—but she's practically cornered, now, so she's going to have to hear about it one way or another.
Regina wonders if it possibly has to do with the fight she and Kathryn had gotten into, but that was over two weeks ago and it seemed to have blown over. Then again, Regina wouldn't put it past Kathryn to have been holding a grudge all this time and waiting until now to finally make a big deal out of it. But, either way, Kathryn is certainly up to something.
Regina's mind continues to race with theories as they watch their other friend scan around her car, looking for something—her phone probably—before her head finally pops up and she looks back over to the twosome. She smiles and waves and Regina and Kathryn both raise a palm in sync to salute her as she pulls out of her parking spot. But Kathryn doesn't move or speak yet, and instead, lets her eyes follow Tinka's little green bug down the street until it is nearly out of sight. When she's certain Tinka is nowhere near the realm of their conversation Kathryn finally turns to Regina to speak.
Regina can feel that oily sense of dread pool in the center of her crown and cascade down through the rest of her body as she gets a full look at Kathryn's face. It's masked into a twisted, impish smirk that only says to Regina that she knows something and it's something that Regina doesn't quite want to hear. It's a face Regina has seen many a time in the past when Kathryn is on the cusp of concocting some cockamamie plan or instigating drama that will incite madness in the teacher's lounge for a week before dying out. But Regina can tell from the pointed look on Kathryn's face that it has something specifically to do with Regina, this time.
Regina feels nervous and doesn't mean for the disdained, "What?" to come out of her mouth, but when it does, she fears that it doesn't maintain enough vigor to prove that she couldn't care less about whatever the hell it is that Kathryn is up to.
She's right, too, because Kathryn's smirk only widens. Her friend begins to circle around just slightly, like a hunter stalking its prey.
Regina clears her throat and tries again, "What?"
"So," Kathryn drawls with that smirk only growing some more.
Regina rolls her eyes, hoping Kathryn will catch on that she isn't the least bit amused by the shenanigans, but it doesn't work, of course.
Kathryn leans in closer, but tries now to keep a level of cool she wasn't keeping a moment ago. "So, you're distracted."
Regina shrugs aggressively. "So?"
"Well, why is that?"
Oh, well if that's it.
Regina sighs in relief. "I don't know. I guess I just have a lot on my mind, Kathryn. Look, I'm happy for you, really. I just have a lot on my plate. I promise to be the perfect Maid of Honor, I'm just all wonky today. That's all."
Kathryn eyes her carefully. "Robin Locksley came by my classroom a couple of weeks ago to ask about you," she states randomly.
And there's the other shoe.
Regina's heart knocks hard into her chest at the sound of Robin's name and is only thrown into higher gear at the idea that he asked about her. But, oh, she knows where this is going. It was so completely stupid of Robin to go to Kathryn for anything when she is the headquarters for office drama and it is so Kathryn to have probably worked it all out in her head that Regina and Robin are an item, or at least, are trying to become one. And for some reason, that is going to propel Kathryn into sticking her nose where it doesn't belong and masquerade it as "trying to help."
"So?" Regina shrugs, trying her best to seem blasé about the whole thing.
Kathryn shrugs to and mirrors Regina's attitude, "Dunno. Just thought it was a little interesting, that's all."
Regina shakes her head. "So, he's a nice guy? What does that have to do with anything?"
"Well, did he go see you?"
"What are y—" she starts and cuts her own self off before the truth comes in clearly.
Kathryn is referring to the day that she and Robin kissed and she broke up with Graham and she ended her friendship with Robin and everything became messier tenfold. She's talking about the day that's had Regina all screwy for weeks now, the day that changed everything. And now Kathryn wants to join the fray like it's a club. But it's dangerous waters and Regina's already concerned with letting Robin in too closely.
Her next words will have to be chosen carefully, if just to save face.
But she decides to answer the question truthfully, "Yeah, so?"
Kathryn's arms cross in front of her chest and her right eyebrow makes a leap to her hairline. "So, he went all the way to your apartment to check on you?"
Regina stumbles trying to find the right thing to say. Yes, he came to her apartment, and yes, it's exactly what Kathryn wants to hear, but Kathryn can't hear that because that's not what it is now. Robin and Regina are friends—nothing more, nothing less—and they're going to stay that way. There cannot be a relationship between them. That ship has sailed.
"Why are you even bringing this up, now, Kathryn? This was weeks ago," Regina huffs petulantly.
Kathryn gives Regina a pointed look. She knows she's hit a nerve. "Well, honestly, I hadn't thought much of it at the time until the other day in the conference room."
"What're you talking about?"
She watches as Kathryn's lips press together and then peel apart. "You think I didn't notice you two making eyes across the room at each other?"
Regina scoffs, "I do not make eyes with anyone, least of all, Robin Locksley."
"Oh, please, Regina," Kathryn whines and stamps her foot like a child, "Tell me one thing David said in that meeting."
Shit. She really hadn't heard a word he said, but she tries anyway to scan her brain for some semblance of a remark he made. And when that avenue is a dead end, she even tries to invent one, but she comes up dry.
"He… said something about the Halloween carnival," she says defiantly, while silently praying she's right.
"What about it specifically?"
Regina groans. This is ridiculous. She and Robin are friends and she's not going to let Kathryn weasel her way in and mess that up.
"Kathryn," Regina states impatiently, crossing her own arms and forming a displeased frown.
"I saw you texting him," she admits.
Ah, there's the truth. That is what has Kathryn all wound up in a tizzy, probably culminating from her burning desire to know any and everything there is to know about Regina's personal life, as well as, her irritation that Regina hasn't said anything to her about Robin.
But Kathryn shouldn't be the one irritated…
"You read my texts?" Regina growls defensively.
It makes her angrier than it should. She's always been a private person, but it's not like Kathryn hasn't seen conversations between her and Graham before. And Kathryn shares every aspect of her life with Regina, even when it's unwanted. But this is irking her more than she wants it to. She almost feels protective over her bubble with Robin. No one is allowed to come in or disturb it. Except, Regina knows it's more than that. Kathryn is getting far too close to those feelings that Regina has since buried. Regina wants to keep pretending that there aren't residual feelings between her and Robin and she wants to believe that they can be friends and only friends, because that's how it has to be.
"I didn't read the actual texts, just the name," Kathryn says with an eye roll. "But more importantly, when I asked, you lied to me, why?"
Regina surprises herself by willingly giving up the truth again. "Because I didn't want you to do exactly what you're doing right now, which is making mine and Robin's relationship into more than it really is."
"That is not what I'm doing," Kathryn answers indignantly, still sounding like a stubborn child.
"Yes, it is," Regina sighs exasperatedly. "You want to meddle and try and 'hook us up' just like you did for me and Graham, but Kathryn, I mean it when I say, I don't want you to, okay?"
Kathryn squints her eyes and peruses Regina carefully. She looks as if she squints hard enough, she might be able to find out more. Regina stands there impatiently while Kathryn scours her and it isn't until realization washes over Kathryn's features that Regina's attitude changes. Maybe that trick does work. She starts to feel the panic rising in her throat, as Kathryn's look goes from revelation to smug omnipotence.
"You really like him," she says matter-of-factly, even though Regina believes there is meant to be a question in there.
She scoffs again and waves the idea off with her hand. "As if. Robin is a bonafide man child, who probably enjoys drinking far too much and thinks fart jokes are funny."
"Every man is like that," Kathryn points out.
"No they aren't. When was the last time Frederick had a drink?"
"Last night, actually."
So much for proving a point.
"Okay, but I'm sure there's been an elongated period of time between drinks," Regina tries again, stuttering a little bit.
"Not really," Kathryn sings, shaking her head up towards the sky and then back down at Regina with a confident air.
"When was it then?"
"I don't know, Regina," it's Kathryn who sounds annoyed now, "but I know it was recently. You know, it's okay to admit that you like Robin as a person and that you enjoy the pleasure of his company. He's cute and seems like a nice guy, it's not a crime to like that."
"I like my business to stay business," she replies a little more rudely than she intends to. She really doesn't want to start another fight with Kathryn.
"I know you do," Kathryn says, disregarding Regina's chilliness and answering only in a kind and gentle voice. "And I'll drop it like you've asked, but I want you to know that not every guy is an," Regina can see her cringe slightly, "asshole like Graham. Maybe you should give Robin a chance to prove that to you."
She had given Robin a chance and he blew it by kissing her, instead of telling her the truth about Graham. And, of course, she doesn't blame him, nor is she even remotely angry with him, but he valued a romance between them more than he did their friendship and that stung a little.
And then, not to mention, she's starting to have all these feelings for him but he's too close for comfort—so close that if he finds out what she did in Phoenix and he walks away, it'll absolutely destroy her. More so, it'll destroy him, and she can't have that. Robin's already proven to her that, despite a few hiccups here or there, he's a genuinely good person and that's why she wants to keep him around and that's why she does… like him—not that she's going to admit that aloud anytime soon (well, save that one passionate moment she said it to Robin before she kissed him).
"It has nothing to do with Graham, Kathryn, I promise. I just want to be friends with him, okay?"
"Okay," Kathryn agrees with a wave of her hand, but she starts to frown.
Regina glowers at her friend because she knows there's something else. "Go ahead, say it.," she sighs and swoops her hand out in concession.
Kathryn hesitates, eyeing Regina cautiously, as if Regina is going to pull the rug out from under her. But Regina says nothing and Kathryn cautiously proceeds.
"You're my best friend, Regina. That's why I asked you to be my Maid of Honor, because you are the best friend I've got." She takes a breath, but Regina stays quiet, pensively observing the blonde.
"But it just feels that you don't feel that way about me and I'm just worried that we're pulling apart and," Kathryn starts to fan her face, as tears begin to well in her eyes, while Regina tries her hardest to fight the urge to roll her own eyes, "and I-I'm-I'm… p-pregnant and I wanted you to be the first to know but I just…"
The last thing Regina was expecting to hear is that Kathryn is expecting. Although, in hindsight, it makes plenty of sense. It would explain why she and Frederick got engaged (and are, subsequently, getting married) so quickly. But still, it has Regina standing there, mouth agape, eyebrows blending into her hairline and eyes wide as saucers.
Regina doesn't even know if Kathryn is still speaking when she asks, "How long have you known?"
"Since the second week of July," Kathryn winces nervously, seemingly worried that Regina will be upset that she hadn't said anything sooner.
Okay, so maybe the engagement was on purpose and not a shotgun wedding ordeal.
But Kathryn is pregnant. Kathryn Midas (soon to be Knight) is going to have a baby.
Regina Mills is not a hugger. She has never been a hugger. She never really plans on being a hugger. But, her joy and excitement are so overwhelming, that she can't help but propel herself forward and envelop her friend.
"Oof!" Kathryn breathes as their bodies collide. "And here I thought I was going to get stern, judgmental Regina."
Regina is too elated to even care about the comment. "Kathryn, this is wonderful news, why would I be judgmental?"
Kathryn shrugs and her bottom lip protrudes. "I don't know. I just thought because of this wedge or whatever is going on, you might not be receptive to the idea."
Regina lets Kathryn go and looks her over. "Receptive to the idea of you having a child? I mean I'll have to be there to make sure you don't screw it up too much by filling its head with rainbows and butterflies and turn it into a human Grand Central Station for drama, but Kathryn, of course I'm happy for you!"
Kathryn sniffles, "Yeah?"
"Yes," Regina answers firmly, shaking Kathryn just slightly.
"And we're okay?" she follows up timidly.
"Yes, Kathryn. Everything is just fine."
Kathryn just looks at her expectantly, like a dog waiting for a treat.
Of course, she wasn't going to let it go that easily. Regina weighs her options. She doesn't want to start a war with Kathryn, particularly with a pregnant Kathryn. Not to mention, Kathryn just opened up to Regina and she didn't have to, even though Regina knows that it was an inevitability. But what's the harm in telling her friend how she feels? Yes, Kathryn will meddle, but at least, Regina can stave her off and keep her at bay, especially while she holds a secret of Kathryn's.
Plus, it might feel good to just say it—it won't, in fact, it'll only make things worse—but Regina is going to tell herself that it will feel cathartic to tell someone and it will be nice to just be able to talk to someone about things that pertain to Robin that Regina can't exactly say to Robin.
"Kathryn," Regina says warningly, glaring her down with all the might she can hold in her tiny frame.
But Kathryn stands there unwaveringly, testing Regina silently, even though the ball is no longer in her court. "Do you?" she whispers quietly, though bubbling with excitement.
Regina meets Kathryn eye to eye and accepts the challenge dancing between them.
"I want to make something clear, Kathryn. This isn't a game. And I meant what I said, okay? I wish to only remain friends with Robin. If, and only if, that changes, and I tell you that that has changed, it is not going to be any more than that. I do not want you to intervene. I have some personal things to figure out and I'm not going to pursue anything with anyone until I resolve that. Do I make myself clear?"
Regina isn't sure Kathryn is even listening with the way she's bouncing up and down with each word that comes out of Regina's mouth, but she nods fervently anyway in agreement.
"Okay," Kathryn nearly squeals, "spill it."
Regina takes a deep breath and tries to grasp what she's about to get into. This could either work in her favor or ruin everything but she's a king backed into the corner by a knight, and completely out of moves.
It's do or die.
Her eyes squeeze shut and her face screws up, as she mutters nearly inaudibly, "I'm falling for Robin Locksley."