A/N: Surprise bitches, bet y'all thought y'all saw the last of me. Anyways, I'm so happy to finally place this chapter in your hands. It is split in two because this chapter clocked at 32K and I cannot ask you guys to read all of that at once. So, I'm posting part 1 now and will post part 2 within the next week! Big thank you to Shay, Lisa and especially Manuela, who's been putting up with my shit since like January for this chapter. You guys are amazing! Now you guys enjoy and drop me some comments!

He's like a drug, and now that she's had a taste, she can't stop. They're supposed to be friends, just friends. But ever since that day she kissed him in her apartment, she's been overcome with addiction, craving his kiss, his touch, his everything.

She doesn't get it. She's spent the past several days trying to piece it together, but she hasn't come up with an explanation yet.

When she and Robin first met, they were polar opposites. Okay, well not polar opposites, they did have some qualities that were similar in their own respect, but for the most part, they were wholly different people when they met. While they shared a mutual hatred for people and an absolute disdain for commitment, she didn't like his attitude toward women or life in general. He wasn't someone she expected to get involved with, not to become friends and certainly not to become lovers.

Not that they are lovers.

Currently she doesn't know what they are or where they stand. All she knows is she spent the better half of her Saturday morning lounging around in her apartment with Robin, which involved copious amounts of kissing and touching.

They spent the rest of their Friday night just hanging out. They'd decided on The Exorcist for their movie, but Regina managed to stay awake for a second film, so they watched Psycho, too. She'd like to say she enjoyed both films but she was a bit preoccupied with her thigh touching Robin's, their feet doing a little dance with one another and the hand holding, which began with the scene of the spider-walk down the stairs and never really ended. It all culminated in Regina burying her face in Robin's shoulder during the projectile vomiting scene, and resulted in her tucking herself safely in his side for the rest of the evening. That was a distraction of its own merit, but it was aided by the sweet intoxication of his scent and the soothing skitter of his fingers up and down her arm.

But they didn't do anymore kissing that night, save the one sweet little peck she gave him after the movies were finished and she announced it was time for bed. She thinks it was the whole domesticity of getting him blankets and a couple pillows from the linen closet that made her do it. They'd made up his little pallette on the sectional, but not before thwacking each other with the pillows a couple of times. And when the couch was all made and he bid her goodnight, she just stood up on her tiptoes without thinking and gave him a small little kiss.

Robin just let her kiss him, he didn't push or prod or make a fuss, just let her kiss him. It was a sweet little kiss and that was all there was to it.

She thinks he didn't—and still doesn't for that matter—know where they stand either, which has proven to make her happier than she thought, because, unlike the very first Robin she met, he's patient and unaggressive about the whole thing. Lucky for him, too, because it only makes her want to kiss him more.

Despite that sentiment, however, she managed with only one kiss and that had been enough to send Regina to bed truly happy that night.

The next morning is when things had heated up a little bit between them.

She'd woken up to the delicious scent of eggs wafting back into her bedroom. She should've woken up feeling uneasy, and certainly without appetite, thanks to the greasy ball of popcorn and worry for her mother's sake that had been baking all night.

But she didn't. She woke up with a smile on her face and an eagerness to get out of bed. That feeling was only amplified when she found Robin dreamily pushing around eggs in the frying pan, humming a familiar tune. He'd had his back to her and must not have heard her approaching because when she said, "I didn't know you could sing," he'd nearly jumped out of his skin, causing Regina to nearly piss herself laughing.

Her laughing had turned into taunting him about the horror movies really getting under his skin, something he didn't take as lightly, grumbling about how, "the horror movies had nothing to bloody well do with it," and that, "you shouldn't sneak up on a man in the middle of cooking eggs, is all." He also reminded her that she'd spent the majority of The Exorcist buried into his shoulder, refusing to look at the screen, and that she really had no room to talk.

She must have been feeling bold in that moment because she remembers deadpanning on Robin with a sultry smirk and telling him, "Well then, let's stop talking," which he enthusiastically agreed to.

The next thing she knew, their eggs were abandoned and they found themselves on the couch, her straddling his lap and him coasting his hands all over her body, as their lips met hungrily and intensely. It wasn't until clothes started coming off that they'd slowed down enough to remember the eggs and Regina's obligations. Nothing quite kills the mood like when a man says, "your mum," while you're in the middle of creating a half-assed hump job.

Regina knows she was being very dismissive about the the whole thing when he first brought it up and in hindsight she shouldn't have avoided it at all, but it didn't take long for Robin's subtle urging and a few deep breaths to convince her to suck it up and do what she needed to.

He'd been so incredibly sweet in that moment, holding her hand as she fetched her phone and sat down on the sofa to call Mal. And he didn't let go once she'd finally plucked the courage to dial her friend's number. In fact, she's pretty sure that as the phone began to ring, Robin only held onto her hand tighter, giving it a gentle squeeze with every ring.

Regina's certain that had Robin not been there, she would have never called, she would've just evaded the whole issue and let herself believe that her mother was perfectly healthy and continuing to demean and upset the general public. She would've called eventually, but not before a long winded period of avoidance and refusal to believe that her mother could be dead. That she couldn't have faced on her own.

So, she's grateful to him, even more so now, because when Regina finally got ahold of Mal, she was greeted with news she hadn't expected. Her mother was fine— more than fine actually. Cora had been accepted into a new drug treatment trial, which had been fairly successful with her type of cancer. She still had to go through chemo and they weren't anywhere near out of the woods, yet, but Cora's health was improving—she bought herself some more time.

For someone that had never brought anything other than misery and hatred, Regina was still elated by the news and nearly had to pin herself down to the couch to prevent herself from jumping up and down. But Robin was good at keeping her grounded, their fingers were still entangled and bodies still close, making for a good anchor. It helped Regina diligently listen to Mal, as she informed her of the risks and possible outcomes of the trial. She's almost sure now that she wasn't even breathing while Mal was giving the news.

But, as soon as they hung up with her friend, Regina let out this tiny squeal that was probably more than Cora Mills ever deserved. Regina's not even totally sure why she's so happy over the possibility that Cora might be taking up space in the world for just a little while longer. But she supposes the possibility of it all is what lifted her spirits—the idea that she still has the chance to rise above the person that her mother was and allow her mother to see it happen. And she knows now that she's capable of that, because fearing the worst for Mother's sake was enough to make her realize that she will always be more compassionate and better than her mother.

The rest of it all was a blur. All she can really remember is hanging up with Mal and landing one big, fat, gigantic kiss on Robin, which had taken him by surprise but he was nevertheless receptive to. And things sort of took off from there—more of that kissing and touching from before returned and clothes had started to come off. They might have gone all the way if it wasn't for their lack of condoms.

It was awkward. He'd suggested making a run for some but she'd argued that it would just kill the whole mood and she'd rather just relax and make out with him some more. He was compliant and willing, but the whole thing left an awkward aftershock that never quite left the room.

Her anxiety over the whole thing has settled slightly, though, because she hasn't seen Robin since that day. They'd snuggled on the couch and watched a few more movies (Halloween, Friday the 13th), then passed out candy when the gaggles of children in facemasks and costumes began congregating at her door. But it all ended on a even more awkward note, with her practically pushing Robin out of her apartment, while he tried to be insistent that he should stay and spend time with her. It was a battle he'd ultimately lost, dejectedly leaving her apartment fully dressed in his Robin Hood gear and compromising that she call him on Sunday to let him know she was okay.

She'd agreed and even done so, calling him after her lunch with Kathryn. (This week they're going dress shopping, oh joy.)

They'd talked for a good while on Sunday and everything was seemingly normal. Robin was sweet and attentive, but respectful when she wanted space.

He'd been extremely generous with that space on Monday, which irked her a little bit. Not that it really was his fault. Robin had a dentist appointment, so she didn't see him, but she did get a selfie from him in the dentist chair with one of those heinous bibs that they make you wear. Plus, they texted off and on all day as well. It's not like he'd totally forgotten about her, he just gave her a little breathing room, which she hadn't realized she resented so much until she was getting it.

But maybe that was just what she needed, because when Tuesday finally rolls around, she's more than excited to see him, and her worries from the weekend start slowly evaporating into nothing.

[:]

It's weird and almost stupid, how a few kisses from the man makes her breathless every time she sees him.

Something Regina notices on Tuesday morning, when she's walking down the hall from the office, minding her own business, and she sees Robin walking toward her, giving her a goofy grin and sending her hormones into a frenzy. And it doesn't help when he comes nose to nose with her and greets her with a soft hi, which she returns equally as soft and imploring. Although, she starts to ponder less on her feelings and more on his accent and his eyes and his arms, which are slowly wrapping around her waist, as his lips start to descend to hers, planting those kisses she'd missed so much over the past two days.

It felt more like a lifetime, in fact.

He must feel the same because he murmurs a, "I missed kissing you," against her lips.

Regina cracks a smile and whispers back, "Me, too."

Robin doesn't say another word and it takes Regina a couple moments to realize that he's trying to move them, guiding her gently backward until she finds herself immersed in a new environment, surrounded by bright colors and lots of clutter, the telltale sign of a classroom. She's not even sure it's his because their lips are back together the instant she hears the door close behind them. His fingers are threaded in her hair and her hands have found a home on his ribs, fisting his shirt there in an attempt to bring him closer.

They should not be doing this, not at the school and certainly not in a classroom that may or may not be his. Of course, they have standards, it's not like they're going to end up fucking on one of the desks, but they shouldn't be doing this either.

And she most certainly shouldn't let out a breathy, whiny, "Robinnn," when he presses a kiss just behind her ear.

It gives him pause, too, because his face reemerges to give her a look that can only be described as, what the fuck was that?, making her turn a bright red no doubt, out of embarrassment.

But he's quick to wash it away with a heated kiss and a low, "I wanna hear that again."

Regina chuckles and gives him a delicate little kiss. "Not here," she tells him, the hint of laughter still resonating in her voice.

Robin releases a tiny sigh and concedes, but not before giving her ear a tiny nip and breathes, "Fine, but might I just say you look absolutely gorgeous and completely ravishing today."

"You know, you should really stop trying to be so charming all the time," she teases him with a genuine smile, "because it's gonna make me start having expectations."

Robin chuckles before pressing another gentle kiss to her lips and following it with, "And where would be the fun in that?"

Regina rolls her eyes but he simply gives her another chaste kiss, then adds confidently, "But, you should have them. I don't exactly plan to disappoint."

"I don't think anyone plans on that," she points out. "It just happens."

Robin huffs out a sigh—not exasperatedly but something almost… playfully discontent, making her acutely aware of how adorable he can be sometimes. And she kisses him this time, solely for that reason.

She could do it forever, just exchanging sweet innocent kisses with Robin, while making promises that make her heart stutter in her chest. It's all she needs for now, someone who makes her feel happy and special and important and Robin is doing a damn good job of it at the moment. So good, that it's made her lock away the pestering voices in her head that tell her this isn't real, that it's too good to be true and to just wait for the other shoe to drop because it's coming eventually. But the voices are quiet now, only leaving room for the subtle thrum of her heartbeat getting quicker when she sees him and the beautiful lilt of his voice in her head enticing and enchanting her in one unified melody.

Although, if she's honest, she would like to do a lot more than just sweet kisses at the moment.

She can't stop thinking about kissing those lips, tasting that jaw, reveling in the feel of his palms kneading all the right places on her body. Ever since their almost heated romp on her couch Saturday, she's been one riled up bundle of sexual desire.

But right now, they're at school and need to be responsible. She needs to break away from him and go do adult things, like prepping her classroom for her students. But it is so hard to pull away from those beautiful eyes and those gorgeous lips and that tantalizing scruff.

She wills herself to do it, though, because she has to. Nothing would be more mortifying than being caught making out by his students. They'd be traumatized and she and Robin would certainly get fired. So, she musters all the willpower she has to give his shoulder a little nudge, hinting at him to move. It's easier to make him do it than for her to do it on her own, after all.

Robin knows it, as well, because he doesn't argue, and instead, gives her one last kiss before getting out of her way. But that doesn't stop him from looking painfully pitiful as he does it, pouting all despondently as he goes. It makes her smile, however, reminding her once more of how stupidly adorable he can be.

Regina chuckles quietly at him, and doesn't resist the urge she has to bite down into her bottom lip (since he can't do that to her anymore).

"Stop looking like a kicked puppy," she orders him sportively with a doleful smile.

But Robin just milks it even more, pushing that bottom lip out even further and crossing his arms across his chest. "Hard not to look like a kicked puppy when you're standing there looking all smart and beautiful," he bemoans, "how could I not look it?"

Her eyes roll around in her head and she jests, "You men will try anything to get in a woman's pants, huh?"

He shrugs. "We're a weak specimen, men, what can I say?"

"Finally someone admits it."

"D'you want me to say women are the stronger of the sexes, hm?" he muses as Regina begins to saunter closer to him.

She smirks to herself, dipping her head to hide how much she's enjoying this, and tucks a chunk of hair behind her ear. "I won't say I wouldn't get a thrill out of hearing you say it," she tells him.

He waits until she's within reaching distance before muttering, "Is this gonna be our version of foreplay? Me saying feminist stuff and you getting all randy because of it?"

Regina actually laughs out loud and hard. When she finally reaches Robin again, she loops her arms around his neck. "Sounds like a good sex life to me," she says with a waggle of her brows.

"Well, in that case…" he drawls, leaning into her further, no doubt trying to steal another kiss.

But she isn't giving in that easily, feminist jargon or not. "You know," she sings softly, "Speaking of women being superior and all, I've been thinking."

"Oh?" he hums.

Regina smiles impishly to herself. "Well, you know, you haven't exactly asked me out on an official date, yet. So, it seems the woman has to do all the heavy lifting here and has to ask you out, instead."

Robin's hands tighten just so on her hips as his eyes show a glint of excitement, that had sparked somewhere during their conversation, but hadn't quite bloomed into blaze until now.

"Are you asking me out then?"

Regina takes a pause, then nods, closing in the last few inches between them until they're literally a breath away. "Yes I am. What are your plans Saturday night, Mr. Locksley?"

Robin's features do something weird, then. At first, it's obvious his interest is piqued. He's eager, not overly so, probably in an attempt to guard his pride, but he's, at least, happy. Except, not even a millisecond later, after she says Saturday night, his face sours, lips turning down into a frown, brows furrowed so deeply they nearly meld into one and his worry lines become so evident that it almost ages him by a few years.

Some features even bleed out onto Regina, an extension of worry for the sudden change in his attitude. Even the air around them is taut with deep tension, making it infinitesimally harder to breathe.

"You okay?" she queries, bringing a hand to his cheek.

He shakes his head dismissively. "No, yeah I'm fine. It's just, erm, that day isn't gonna work for me."

"Oh," she answers, expelling some air she was holding in, "that's fine. We can do another day or something, if you need."

"Yeah," he sighs, and she can suddenly tell how far away Robin is from their conversation. She can nearly see his thoughts travelling light-years away from them. It seems his body wants to follow suit, as well, because it's shifting awkwardly against hers, nearly to the point that it feels like he's squirming.

She releases any relative hold she has on him and he takes full advantage of the freedom, taking several strides away from her. She frowns and her chest begins to feel heavy, her stomach uneasy and her breathing noticeably quicker. The abrupt pop of their little bubble is almost startling. They were having a good moment, or so she thought, but now it's just weird and she doesn't like it.

It takes a minute for her voice to get past the cottony feel of her throat to ask, "Is everything okay?"

But Robin's mind has gotten even further away because he's absentmindedly babbling, "Yeah, no, yeah, totally fine, I just, yeah I'm fine," all while refusing to look at her. Instead, his focus is on the door, which he's shuffling to and propping open with his foot. He doesn't look at her until she catches up and he finally says, "Raincheck?"

She can tell he's trying to be sincere, but something about his face is still strained and his whole body is rigid, he doesn't even warm to her touch when she reaches for him. It worries her, this 180 in character, but she doesn't want to pry. So, she does the only thing she can, which is give him a, "Yeah, sure," and walk through the door.

But she takes pause just before she's all the way out and takes a good, solid look at him. His Adam's apple bobs harshly in his throat, indicating a nervous swallow, but then he's stone faced, refusing to give any hint as to what's going on in his head. She thinks that'll be an image she can't shake for the rest of the day, haunting her with the idea that Robin has some secret that he doesn't want to share with her.

Though, she really has no right to get mad or expect anything from him, when she has the looming ghost of Phoenix following her around everyday. Especially, when that ghost is a secret to everyone except her.

She wonders as she trots down the hallway, after telling him goodbye and requesting that they talk later, if this is what everyone around her feels like. If they see her with this edgy aura all the time because she has this secret she refuses to share. She's curious if any of them have craved the proximity she now craves from Robin, that proximity she's currently being denied. She knows they have and Robin is probably one of them, too. It gives her a harsh punch in the gut when she thinks about how rejected he might have felt when she gets all mum about Phoenix. A little voice in her head pipes up, lamenting about how it's unfair, and she realizes it's right, it is unfair. But she has no leg really to stand on because of Phoenix. How can she cry unfairness, then turn around and defend her choices to keep quiet about her indiscretions?

She can't begrudge Robin's decisions to act this way, not unless she wants to be a hypocrite.

But that doesn't mean it won't plague her for the rest of the day.

[:]

And it does. Her mind is clouded all day with the look on Robin's face and their whole awkward encounter that morning. She's nearly driven to madness trying to decide what part of the conversation made him freeze up like a deer caught in headlights. Was it the asking him out part? Was it the fact that she asked him? Was it the date itself? Or the calendar date? Does he have a fear of going out on Saturdays or something? Is he seeing someone else? Is he busy and just didn't want to tell her?

Every single one of those questions surface and resurface in her mind, demanding answers, or at least, some logical explanation for what transpired that morning.

It gets so bad that halfway through a meeting, Kathryn has to nudge her pretty harshly in her side to get her attention. She hasn't been listening to a single word David or Ella have said, so much so that she hopes Kathryn has taken thorough notes about the meeting to make up for it. But when her superiors ask her opinion on the behavior of a student, all eyes are on her, while she sputters out a great deal of nothing, as a result of trying to comprehend the question asked of her.

"Regina?" Ella drawls obnoxiously and it takes all Regina has not to roll her eyes.

Instead, Regina turns to her friend in an attempt to ground herself to something. Kathryn's brows are scrunched together, but she manages to give a tiny nod to egg Regina on. It's also meant to be Regina's answer, as well, she thinks. And thankfully, some subconscious part of her was listening because she's washed over with snippets from the conversation: he does struggle to keep focused, yeah, he gets up a lot from his chair, too, and maybe we should suggest seeing a professional about an ADHD diagnosis, finally materializing her question, which immediately draws out her answer.

"Yes," she affirms what she believes her coworker suggested and is encouraging her to agree with, "yes, I believe we should suggest to the parents that they take him for an evaluation."

Regina can see Kathryn expel a hefty breath in her periphery, making her realize how thick the air was with tension as they awaited her answer, much like her conversation with Robin had been earlier.

Oh, for fuck's sake.

As David starts rambling about a course of action and setting up a meeting with the parent, Regina is cursing herself mentally for being too distracted with Robin. She tells herself to cut it out and to push Robin out of her mind. No more Robin for the rest of the day. He's just someone she's maybe possibly seeing and if he wants to tell her, he will tell her. So, she is going to let it go and reconnect with the present instead, and stop worrying about something she has no control over.

She commits herself to it for the rest of the meeting, but she should have known that her internal agreement wasn't going to last very long.

As soon as David and Ella adjourn the meeting with straightening papers and mumbling final thoughts, Kathryn doesn't let the opportunity slip through her fingers. She eagerly pushes Regina out the door before the other two have even stood up and bid them farewell. Thankfully, they'll just attribute it to Kathryn's dedication to avoiding David as much as possible, which is still something she does. Hell, this meeting was about one of Kathryn's homeroom students. It could've simply been a meeting between her and David, but just to save face and avoid the awkwardness that will forever follow the two of them, they often loop Regina into these kinds of things. She should be angry about being their proxy and should confront them about it, but for the sake of Kathryn, she probably never will. Truthfully, she really admires her friend for still being able to be in the same building as her ex, let alone in meetings by herself with him.

But she'll take advantage of Kathryn's avoidance this time, considering it as a sort of payment for all the meetings like this one that she has to attend to help Kathryn out. Besides, this will end up being about Kathryn somehow anyway, even though Regina knows that the reason she's being dragged out of the room so quickly is because Kathryn is dying to know whatever it is that's perturbing her.

Regina doesn't even bother to stop or get out of it because her friend will undoubtedly get the truth somehow and she'd rather it come from herself than the grapevine, so.

At least, Kathryn is patient enough to wait until they're alone in the hall just outside the office to begin berating Regina with questions.

Okay, so she doesn't berate her, but still the minute Kathryn finds the coast to be clear, she gives Regina a look like, what the hell is your problem and why haven't you told me already?

Regina sighs, knowing that it's no use hiding the truth from Kathryn, nor is it conducive to lie. Instead, she sucks it up and fixates on one of the painted trees on the opposite wall. No way is she going to look Kathryn in the face when she tells her what's on her mind and why.

Time to bite the bullet.

"Do you remember our conversation at brunch the other week?" she asks, hoping against hope that Kathryn magically forgot that Regina declared that she was falling for Robin.

But of course Kathryn remembers. Of course. She wouldn't dare forget such a juicy piece of gossip like that. But the blonde still tries to play it cool, giving a coy, "Which part?" with an annoying smirk.

Regina tilts her head sideways and deadpans on Kathryn, hopefully making it very apparent that she's unamused. She purses her lips and answers with a clipped, "You know what."

Kathryn's smirk blooms into a full-on grin undoubtedly because her friend is reveling in the confirmation of her long-running suspicions. Regina wishes she could snuff out her friend's smug expression, but Kathryn technically has every right to be smug because she's right and that, perhaps, is the thing that annoys Regina the most.

"Kathryn," she warns with a groan and a roll of her eyes. "Do you also remember the part where I told you things are done on my terms and I don't want any meddling from you whatsoever?"

Kathryn nods dutifully. "Of course, I do."

"Okay, then I want you to remember that, as I tell you what I am going to tell you. Can you do that?"

"Yes, yes, of course," Kathryn dismisses professionally.

Regina takes a breath and returns her attention to that tree, admiring the detail of the leaves and the soft brushstrokes on the trunk of it. Then she spills her guts, confessing the truth she's bottled up for several days.

Though she's not sure Kathryn even makes it through the first sentence before losing her mind.

"Robin and I kissed after the carnival. He was helping me out of my costume and one thing led to another and—whatever, you get the picture. Anyway, that's all it was, we kissed and then we hung out some on Saturday. He helped me pass out candy and that's it. And I don't know, I thought maybe we were getting somewhere, so today I kind of just went for it and asked him out." (If her first statement didn't wipe Kathryn out, this surely did the trick, but Regina isn't paying her any mind, still focused on the tree.)

"But then he got all weird when I asked him what he was doing this weekend. The thing is, though, he seemed excited about going on a date, but when I suggested this weekend, he sort of freaked out. And I don't know if it's because he's seeing someone else and I can't ask because that'd be presumptuous and I'd feel horrible if I was wrong. Well, and I'd also feel horrible if I was right. And I just don't know what to think and it's not really my place to ask so I just... I don't know what to do."

Kathryn doesn't say a single word when Regina's done and she fears that she may have actually killed her. But when Kathryn reveals a sign of life by giving a perplexed hum, Regina knows that Kathryn is just lost in deep thought. (Thank god!) And without so much as another word, Kathryn begins to strut back towards the office like a tracking dog on the hunt, leaving a baffled Regina behind.

She runs after Kathryn, hissing, "Where are you going?"

Kathryn just whispers a, "Follow me," as she opens the door to the office.

Regina does as she's told, following Kathryn on her winding path back behind Ashley's front desk. It takes her a minute to realize what Kathryn's looking for, and it isn't really until she aha!s, stabbing her finger onto the wall, that Regina understands what's going on. It's a calendar, and given Kathryn's aha!, it must hold the answer to her question.

Regina's gaze files down Kathryn's arm to the tip of her finger, but before Regina can take in what Kathryn is pointing to, her friend exclaims studiously, "Just what I thought, it's his birthday this Saturday." Then she meets Regina's look of confusion with a pointed and, perhaps, even reproachful look. "Maybe he thought you were being inconsiderate because you forgot his birthday."

Regina feels a bit taken aback and lets Kathryn know it, giving her an indignant, "How was I supposed to know?"

"You're the one screwing him," Kathryn offers up sweetly.

Regina, quick on her heels, hisses, "I am not screwing him."

"Do you wanna be?" Kathryn sasses back.

Regina only answers her with an incredulous look, her eyes wide as saucers and eyebrows brimming her hairline.

"Right," Kathryn mumbles and straightens up, "not important. But, why would he hate his birthday?"

"I don't know," Regina snaps. "I mean I don't particularly like my birthday either, for the sole reason that I don't like to be reminded that I'm getting older, but I'd never actively avoid everyone because of it."

"Yeah, me either," Kathryn pouts and scratches her head.

But it takes all of 30 seconds for Kathryn's perplexed features to melt into something new, something that can immediately instill fear in the deepest part of Regina's soul. It's the face she makes whenever she's up to something, concocting some insane plan that Regina will inevitably hate. Regina can nearly see her gears grinding, trying to piece together the parts of a devious plan that will, without a doubt, implicate Regina and more than likely make a mess of things. But she waits Kathryn out, lets her develop her whole master plan before she's shot down by Regina's reasoning and blatant unwillingness to get involved in this.

Kathryn must be able to tell that Regina is going to deny her, though, because she frowns somewhere amidst her scheming. She crosses her arms and gets this angry look on her face that Regina has seen one too many times in her second graders.

"You haven't even heard what I'm gonna say," Kathryn laments.

Regina purses her lips and counters Kathryn with her own crossed arms. "Then say it," she growls.

Kathryn perks up a little, but Regina can see she's hedged with hesitation. Nevertheless, Kathryn suggests, "Why don't we throw him a party?" with almost no delay.

"You want to throw a grown man a birthday party?"

"No, I mean like a small get together. Me, you, Frederick, does he have any friends?"

Regina makes a face at the phrasing of the question. Does he have friends? Of course, he does.

Still, it gives her pause. She muses, trying to scour her brain for anytime he may have mentioned a friend or even a coworker he likes. She thinks she's seen him palling around with Maggie, so she'll chat with her first, but she isn't sure she's seen him hanging around anyone else other than Kathryn and Tinka, and that is because of her. There's also Belle, she crudely reminds herself with a violent ripple through her middle. Her unnecessary jealousy makes her dismiss the idea. So, she shrugs because she comes up dry, except she tells Kathryn something entirely different because she knows if she gives Kathryn a window, she'll take full advantage.

"I know a few people so I'll ask. But, Kathryn this is tentative, so please don't spend the rest of your day plotting because I'd rather get to the bottom of whatever is bothering him than spring a random party on him. Okay?"

Kathryn throws up her hands innocently. "Of course. No plotting until you give me the green light."

[:]

Except, by Thursday, Kathryn has planned it all the way out, not to Regina's surprise. By the time she's waltzing into Kathryn's room to give her the go ahead, her friend has already planned snacks, wine and games for them to play. The only thing Kathryn had been waiting on was Regina with a guest list, which she'd actually managed to throw together.

She should be angry with Kathryn for not listening to her, but if she's honest, Regina had nearly been sold on the idea when Kathryn had suggested it. And it only took until Wednesday for Regina to decide she wanted to go through it with.

Wednesday was when she'd spoken to Maggie.

She'd had felt completely awkward, walking to Maggie's little corner office in the gym, mostly because she wasn't sure, at the time, how close Maggie and Robin were. But Regina believed that her best course of action was, at least, trying to see if she could get to the bottom of Robin's abnormal behavior about his birthday.

Some of the awkwardness was also arguably a little bit of jealousy because Regina wanted to believe that she was Robin's greatest confidante. In hindsight, she thinks that that might be what was bothering her, the fact that Robin was closing himself off to her, just as she thought that they were developing a relationship of openness and honesty. Though, how can she really call it that when Phoenix is still locked safely in a crate, buried underground with weeds growing atop the soil?

But, at the time, when she was walking to Maggie's office, she simply chalked it up to her worrying over Robin. She hadn't really entertained the idea that her concerns may have run deeper than she thought. Besides, her primary concern was just speaking to Maggie about the issue, despite her nearly turning back a million times before she finally willed herself to stop being a wuss and just go in there.

When she'd finally plucked up the courage, she'd knocked on the door cordially and waited until Maggie swiveled around in her chair and beckoned her inside amiably, as if they were good friends, which had given her a sort of momentary lapse in confidence. Maybe Maggie and Robin weren't as close as she'd thought, maybe Maggie was just that type of person. But when Regina asked if Maggie knew Robin (which had sounded incredibly stupid coming out of her mouth, because of course she knew Robin, they work together), she'd lit up and actually surprised Regina by telling her that they'd gone out for drinks on a couple of occasions and talk frequently. Although, it'd done nothing to keep from waking the little green monster that had been slowly stirring within Regina. Except, for Robin's sake, Regina had quickly sung it a lullaby and put it back to bed again, so that she could get the information she needed.

Robin was the priority, not her porcelain feelings.

So, she was left with the task of asking Maggie if she'd known whether Robin had any plans on Saturday, which she denied, telling Regina that Robin hadn't said anything to her.

She meant to just leave it at that, to thank Maggie for her time and be on her way. But for some reason, she'd hesitated on her exit, stopping short of the doorframe. She had been paralyzed by her mind, nagging her to do what she really wanted to, deep down what she really meant to do.

She'd whipped around and just blurted out, "Are you doing anything Saturday?"

Maggie just gave a simple no, and before Regina could really stop herself from it, she'd told the other woman all about Robin's birthday and his weird behavior and Kathryn's party idea. All of which, she'd listened to intently and diligently, staying quiet until Regina gave her room to talk.

Or, until Regina tried to disparage the party idea, that is. Maggie was having none of that and even went so far as encouraging Regina to do it. She'd insisted that Robin would appreciate the gesture and perhaps even wanted it. Of course, she wasn't sure, but Maggie believed that she knew Robin well enough that he'd be touched by it, especially given that it was coming from Regina, which she'd made sure to add extra emphasis to.

Regina answering with a scoff was apparently the wrong thing to do because it spurred Maggie into a long-winded speech about her confidence in his feelings.

"He really likes you, Regina," she'd said, as well as, "I don't know why he's acting strangely about his birthday, but I know that any gesture from you would mean the world to him. I mean that."

Stupidly, Regina had answered with, "So you know about us?"

And Maggie had chuckled, telling her, "No, Robin wasn't exactly sure where you two stood when we last spoke, but I had a feeling that it would be something eventually."

Regina had tried her damned best to deny Maggie's suggestions, even though she knew it was far too late. The cat was let out of the bag by her own big mouth. Maggie didn't seem to think it was nearly as big a deal as Regina made it out to be. Instead, the other woman was far more concerned with convincing Regina to just throw the damn party.

And she was successful.

Her persistence easily beat out Regina's stubbornness, (which was shocking, but Regina had already been pretty willing to yield on the birthday plan as it was). All she really needed was a good push. Maggie's blessing was all the push she needed and she ended up leaving the gym with a solidified decision that Robin was going to get his birthday party come hell or high water.

Everything else fell into place after that. Regina had gone to Tinka next, who'd nearly pissed herself in excitement, and declared in one breath that she and Killian wouldn't miss it for the world. Regina had even put aside her pride long enough to ask Belle if she could attend.

Her last task had been to visit Robin's roommate at the Rabbit Hole and see about his availability, which he'd been more than willing to accommodate for Robin's party, telling her that he usually worked Saturdays, it's good money, but that he thought he could sacrifice one Saturday for a night of debauchery. It was a bit awkward when she'd told him it was just going to be an intimate gathering at a friends place, but John seemed to stay onboard anyway, joking that it'd be easier to get his girlfriend there if it was just a simple party.

That was everyone she needed. A ten person guest list seemed sufficient enough to give Kathryn the okay, not that it was necessary because apparently her warnings had not been enough of a deterrent. But Regina isn't angry when Kathryn tells her all of her plans. In fact, she's sort of relieved, gladly accepting all of Kathryn's ideas and even thanking her for putting it all together. Though, she knows it was no hassle for Kathryn, if there's anything she enjoys, it's organizing events.

Still she thanks her and tells her that she'd handle the rest, particularly pertaining to Robin because she doesn't want anyone else springing it on him when she doesn't know how he'll react. She'd much rather get the brunt of it if the plan goes south rather than their friends.

She really hopes it doesn't go south, though.

[:]

She manages to sort of avoid Robin for the most part for the rest of the week. Wednesday and Thursday had been pretty easy because she'd been running around everywhere trying to settle his birthday plans. He'd texted her Wednesday, apologizing for their conversation Tuesday, but she'd dismissed it, telling him it was fine, they could always raincheck for another day.

But she worries she might have been a little too dismissive because Thursday and Friday are met with radio silence. The fears in her head tell her that he's thinking she's pushing him away again because he pushed first, but that isn't the case. If anything, she's trying to draw him closer, trying to put a crack in that casing he's suddenly built around himself.

So, she texts him on Friday, just to be certain that he doesn't think she's upset with him. It's a simple, Hope you're having a good day, but she thinks it gets the point across.

And it seems to because he texts her back with a flirty, It'd be better if I could see you

She privately thinks to herself that he will tomorrow, but that brings about the crippling worry that maybe he really does want to be left alone on his birthday or that maybe he's made plans that she doesn't know about.

You're sure you can't do anything tomorrow? she asks, then adds a flirty, I've got a red dress that's dying to have a date with your hands…

She pictures him smiling and knows he must be when he texts her back with a smirking emoji and, lol, sounds very tempting, love, but I've promised John I'd help him move some things round for Jack to move in

She frowns because she knows he's lying, but she knew he was going to. She just wishes she knew why. Truthfully, it's eating her alive.

He won't let me steal you for a couple of hours?

If you're wearing a red dress, I'm going to need more than a couple of hours, he teases.

So take more than a couple of hours.

She knows the goal isn't to talk him into a date because Kathryn would absolutely murder her without a second thought. But she wants to see if he will budge at all.

When he texts back a simple, I can't, though, she thinks it might be time to give up the ghost.

But she makes one last desperate attempt to persuade him.

She gets up from her place on the couch and shuffles back down the hall to her bedroom, her feet carrying her all the way to her closet. She opens it and immediately reaches for her favorite red dress, as soon as it comes to view. It's a wicked idea and, oh, it's desperate but she doesn't care because she thinks it could possibly work.

She pulls the dress out and stalks over to her bed to set it down. Then, her hands find the button of her jeans, undoes it and rucks the pants down until they're a puddle at her feet. She kicks them off, flinging them toward her closet, then brings her attention back to the dress behind her. Her mouth twists into a smirk as she lifts the dress and slowly unzips the back of it. Robin has no idea what door he's opened.

Regina finds the spot on the floor where the warm dimming light of the late day is streaming in from her windows and walks over to it. There she drops the dress, letting it pool in a lazy fashion and takes a minute to admire her clever plan. But time is wasting, so she steps into the opening of the top of the dress. She tips the camera, angling it for the best lighting and view, and makes sure both her bare legs and her crumpled dress are visible.

She snaps the picture with a chuckle and ultimately decides that it will be satisfactory. Her thumb taps the blue arrow and sends the picture with the caption, Okay, but just know you're going to be missing this.

Robin doesn't take any pause in his reply. First he sends a, Fuck, then adds, You're making this incredibly difficult on me I'm a weak man

So make it easier on yourself, Regina tries and she realizes that her heart is suddenly beating much faster than before.

He takes several minutes to reply, giving her hope that he might actually be considering. Though, she has to scold herself and set a mental that they can't go on a date Saturday. They cannot go on a date.

This is just to get her foot in the door long enough to convince him to come to the party that Kathryn so meticulously organized.

But the notion doesn't stop her heart from fluttering happily when Robin finally texts her back. I'll talk to John.

Thank you red dress.