Lieutenant Adventures Series 11 Chapter 2 8 July 2017. Irritation.
Penelope Pratt was 43 years old. She was evil. She did work well with the Lieutenant but she did irritate him too.
The Lieutenant watched Penelope as she examined the whole TARDIS control room again and again. He decided that Penelope was a touching gift from the High Council but, also, that he didn't just randomly give trust to a stranger. He decided to test her, to see if she was really up to the mark. He would combine science and death and, if she was really right for him, she would do well and be smart.
Penelope, too, didn't give trust away easily and she decided that she would test her new associate.
Intro: watch?v=P50D7Ut7Hak
The Lieutenant decided that he was going to attempt to kill her but he would leave her a way out if she was smart enough.
Penelope also decided that she was going to attempt to kill her associate. Penelope, however, was leaving no way out of hers. He either survived or he didn't. She went exploring the rest of the TARDIS. When she came upon the kitchen, she nicked a couple of knives. When she came upon the weapons room, she nicked two pistols. She returned to her room with the weapons. She hid the knives in her room, should she need them in the future. Then she took up the pistols. Both had one barrel with six bullets in them. She took five of the bullets out of them and hid the bullets in case she needed them. She left the other 6 in the other one. She spun the barrel of the pistol with the one bullet, stopped it randomly and loaded it.
The Lieutenant, meanwhile, has a bottle of red wine ready. He also had a special bottle of red wine mixed with cyanide made up. He put a vase of new flowers on the table beside his armchair.
A couple of hours later, the Lieutenant was attempting to operate his TARDIS when he heard a click. He turned around to see a gun in his face.
"Stay exactly where you are, do not move," said Penelope.
The Lieutenant remained calm and stared directly back at Penelope.
Penelope bent down and took out her second pistol, out of her boot. "Catch," she said, throwing it to the Lieutenant.
The Lieutenant caught the pistol.
"Point it at your head," commanded Penelope.
The Lieutenant didn't move.
"Now!" exclaimed Penelope, tightening her finger on the trigger.
The Lieutenant obeyed her.
"We're going to have a nice game of Russian Roulette," said Penelope.
"If you kill me, you have Flavia to answer to," said the Lieutenant.
"If I don't, nothing's different," said Penelope. "One of the slots is loaded. Pull the trigger," she said.
The Lieutenant saw no point in arguing. He pulled the trigger. Nothing happened. He smiled.
"Spin the barrel," said Penelope, "then pull the trigger."
The Lieutenant spun the barrel and pulled the trigger. Nothing happened.
"Do it again," said Penelope.
The Lieutenant repeated. Nothing happened.
"Again," said Penelope.
The Lieutenant repeated. Nothing happened.
"Again," said Penelope.
The Lieutenant repeated. Nothing happened. He had completed his part of the deal.
Penelope lowered the gun. "Congratulations," she smiled, taking the two guns and hiding them in her room.
Later on, when the TARDIS was in Night Mode, the Lieutenant came in from his room.
Penelope was sitting in her own armchair in the control room which had been moved there for her.
"Would you care so much as to drink with me?" asked the Lieutenant.
"Depends," said Penelope.
"On?" asked the Lieutenant.
"The drink," said Penelope.
"Red wine," said the Lieutenant.
Penelope had her suspicions. "Sure," she said.
The Lieutenant went to the kitchen, came back with a table for her and went again. When he emerged again, he had a glass of red wine for himself and a glass of red wine for Penelope. He handed hers to her and then sat down with his and took a sip.
Penelope sniffed the liquid in case it was poisoned. It wasn't.
The Lieutenant saw. "Fruity enough for you?" he asked.
"Yes, thank you," said Penelope and she drank.
When they finished, the Lieutenant refilled his glass with red wine but filled Penelope's glass with the cyanide red wine and returned. He drank his wine and enjoyed it.
Penelope didn't even check this time, she just drank.
When they finished, the Lieutenant took both glasses into the kitchen and washed them immensely, then he locked himself in and pressed his ear to the door.
Penelope sat for a while before she started to feel queasy. It was then she realised she had been poisoned. She knew what she had to do. She had to be sick or die of poisoning. She looked speedily around for something to make her sick, then she saw it. The vase of flowers on the Lieutenant's table. She tipped the flowers out and drank the murky water, then rushed to the toilet to be sick.
The Lieutenant unlocked the kitchen door, took the cyanide red wine, went to the front door of the TARDIS and chucked it out to dispose of it. Then he gathered up the flowers and the vase and disposed of them too. "I don't like flowers," muttered the Lieutenant. The results of the day's tests were that the Lieutenant and Penelope were smart and would have many adventures to come, however, Penelope irritated the Lieutenant so he vowed that, when he had finished with her, he would kill her.
Penelope returned from the toilet. She looked pale. "Quits," she croaked.
"Yes," said the Lieutenant. "And no more threatening me on my own TARDIS or there will be serious trouble, am I clear?" he asked.
"Yes. Crystal," said Penelope.
The Lieutenant smiled slightly. "Welcome aboard the TARDIS," he said. He pulled the Master Lever.
NEXT TIME:
Ezmerelda was in the kitchen, clearing away the things after dinner. She walked slowly over to the wall and picked up her walking stick and, leaning on it, walked slowly back to her chair in the sitting room, beside the fire. "I should look into getting a maid."
"Shut up," said the Lieutenant.
The Lieutenant
Thomas Stevens
Penelope Pratt
Gemma Arterton
The Iron Demon
Patrick Lyons
Flavia
Oprah Winfrey
With special thanks to the BBC, FanFiction and YouTube.
Director and writer
Liam Hickey
Producer
Maureen Farr
Fflat 2017.