Shadows of war ch.12 Darkness of the soul
A/N: I do not own gunslinger girl and this may be one of the final chapters of this story but will be the first of a 3 or 4 story set. Reviewed by the infamous Richard (Bwahaha. By the by, OW, MY EVERYTHING. And Blagahagaharl.)
As the crew all settled in for a night Chris started to sing a song that summed them up
"The notches on our 6 guns have a bloody tale to tell where a mile away from Lauro and a step outside of hell" and Petra took a slug of vodka and stated
"Our reputation grew till it's the biggest in land aint anyone out there who'd wanna call our hand" and he looked at her and as the night turned a darker shade asked
"When did you first hear that song and it fits us don't it?" and the line he got back was just as eerie and foretelling as they had never expected and she said
"We've been sent to hell with heavens blessing and two of us were shot down in the back" and Chris knew exactly that she meant that the two lovers would be shot down and he was ready to die as she saw that in his eyes. "We are outlaws now but we were heroes then and this fame aint worth dying for damned we touched the grips of a hair triggered colt .44"
As the two lovers snuggled up with the radio playing familiar songs that they used to unwind they heard a fist pound on their door and Jeans voice was rasp and quick
"Both of you shut the fuck up cause others are trying to sleep and I will have you to move to different rooms if you don't listen" only for the click of a colt .44 echoing through the silence of the hallway to be answered by triela's pump action slamming to the rear and Mike slammed shut the barrels of a double barreled shotgun and thumbed both hammers back with an audible 'Click' and Keysen said
"You'll have to fight us all and I'm sure we have your back against the wall" which got Jean to slowly walk away telling them to keep the volume down as he went back to his room and the rest of the group all let out a smile and Elsa stated for all of em
"He knew the damn things were bb guns right because if not does anyone think he was that stupid? On second thought never mind" as they all laughed before heading off to getting back to sleep and as they all started to fall asleep they heard a haiku that stunned them
"We are all nothing but a grain of wheat as if a fallen grain of wheat lands on the ground it stays the same But if it dies then lots grow from it but it was nothing but tentacles all along" and Claes started to yell at him
"Bitch that is not the way it goes so fuck you" and they all laughed as Claes then called David before the night turned to morning with a faint glint of the morning sun which ruined the dreams that they were having and Richard noticed that Rico had a wet stain and he saw his shot and took it
"You had a wet dream last night so be sure to thank your sensei" with a wink that got her laughing as the phone rang and it was the director on the other end. After listening to the call he looked at the group over breakfast and shocked them with what he had to say
"We don't have to attend class if we don't want to after the incident we had dealt with so we get to show up if we want but if we do we get 100 dollars and extra credit so do you all think we should go for it?" and they all sat there stunned and Mike and Jake asked the question on everybody's minds
"So when are we leaving for the money and class also what do we want to do for dinner because I've heard that there will be another raid before we are given time off so we will have to get planning going" and they all took off running to class as tea got up and had been eating with her siblings before another day of maintaining the compound. And she realized at that point as she saw the plates and utensils that Henrietta had left out that it was going to be a long day.
"Hey do you need some help because the rest of the group went to class but Ill head out there later" Richard asked her as he saw Tea was on the verge of tears and was wondering why she was crying as well.
"Yes I'd love to have a little help and I think you're wondering why it looks like I'm about to cry?" Tea asked him knowing that she could trust him but she didn't expect the response she got from him as he spun the closest chair around and dropped down and replied
"Tell ze doctor vat seems to be ze problem, my dear patient" and they shared a laugh that to tea was long overdue. Looking at the pile of dishes and other stuff that needed to be done she mumbled "ah to hell with it"
"It's really cute that you all have found someone to be with but I'm just the help and no one would want to be with me" and instead of getting the hug she thought she was sho+-cked to see Richard almost break the table and stated
"Now let me tell you why that's bullshit you think you are just the help but if it wasn't for you I'd still be struggling to decide if I should ask Rico out so you have no right to state that you'll end up alone you just haven't found the right guy" and he thought she'd hate him but the hug that she wrapped him in right after his rage moment caught his off guard as he had knocked over the glasses and milk and juice had gone everywhere and he pointed that out
"What about the glasses I knocked over? Won't you have to clean that up before we can leave and he smiled as she grabbed the linens and said "I got this and then we should go to English class, 'cause I think I need to improve my language skills"
Walking into class with his black combat boots sounding like sledgehammers on glass which triela smiled at hearing and Richards tennis shoes which sounded as etta put it
"Like someone breaking a human windpipe trying to create the theme to tetris" and upon seeing them walk in triela yelled "Class lieutenant you may now call to attention" as Hillshire walked in and chris barked "Attention and OLLY OLLY OXEN BITCH" and as the class looked at hillshire with weapons out and a forced smile and the command of "BOW!" and they all simultaneously opened fire which had hillshire screaming
"I'm not a target like koro-sensei god damn it!"and Richard appeared dressed as Koro-sensei "Good cause we'd have problems then wouldn't we" and Rico yelled "MR. POPO!" and poking her with a tentacle said "Close but no and you seem to have a sticky situation so be sure to tank your sensei" and seeing Hillshire about to open his mouth said pushing him into his chair
"Not you maggot take a seat"
Hillshire managing to get control of his class back said "It is now time to write poems, a-"
Richard, still dressed as Koro Sensei, popped back up, pushing Hillshire over.
"You must end your poems with the phrase, 'it was tentacles all along.'"
Rico smiling seeing her boyfriend dressed with tentacles which everyone said she had a tentacle fetish-
And anyone who believes that will be bitch-slapped personally!
Christ… now that he's away from my computer… wrote "A doll without a heart born from warm hands but it was tentacles all along" and her boyfriend sensing that others thought she had a tentacle fetish so he hauled and closefisted Hillshire in the face breaking his nose before turning to the window and stating
"To purge myself of this sheer format of stupidity, I shall fly around the world three times, then stop off in Japan for some Udon." He flipped up a small yellow flip phone. "Any aspiring assasains can reach me on my cell, so-"He paused, and caught a small rubber knife between his fingers with a small scrap of paper.
"Sorry, Karma, but you'll have to try harder than that to kill me~"
"Fuck you! Don't call me that!" Chris yelled, throwing multiple rubber knives as Richard deflected them, and took off from the windowsill at Mach-20, tearing a large section of the window mantle off with his force.
"Always a showoff…" Triela sighed, whipping out a cellphone with a teal colored case. "I'm sending him a message, anyone want anything?"
While speeding over the Eiffel Tower, the Japanese national anthem began playing in a cellphone like tone, as Richard picked up.
"You've got Koro, fill me in, Lauro!"
"Shut up, you dick." Triela snarled, tapping her fingers as everyone shouted into the phone.
"Ooh, sounds lively over there! Am I missing a party?"
"SHUT UP!" Triela snapped, the noise dying down. "Anyways, we have a few requests for you, while you're out."
"Lay 'em on me, I've got time." He stated, munching on a New York hot dog.
"Where the hell are you, anyways?" Triela questioned.
"I'm catching a Yankees game at the Yankee Stadium." He stated, the crowd cheering.
"You're in AMERICA!?" Triela shouted, as a soft strumming noise sounded in the phone.
"Actually, I'm enjoying tea, and watching the cherry blossoms in Kyoto, right now."
"Well, I still have a list of stuff for you to-"
A soft tapping came from the unbroken window, Richard waving.
"I THOUGHT YOU WERE IN JAPAN!"
"Hey, I've still got two laps to go. Lay the list on me."
"Right, so we-"
Another sonic boom shattered the second window, as Triela clenched her fist, making a quick call again.
As Richard landed in Berlin (amidst the crowd of freaked out locals), the Japanese anthem played out from his phone once more.
"You've got the dick, make it quick!" Richard smiled wily.
"I WASN'T DONE, GODDAMNIT!" Triela yelled, Richard leaning away from the speaker, as it was on speaker, as well.
"Well, I'm in Berlin, picking up a twelve pack right now. That was one of the items, right?"
"H-How did you…?"
"I can go mach-20, remember? I had enough time to read some of the list, poke you in the nose, steal Rico's underwear, and de-bra Petra before I took off." Rico squeaked in the background, and Petra laughed curtly.
"Ha, I doubt it. I'd know if my bra was mis-"Petra unleashed a sharp squeak as her bra floated down onto her head, Chris nose-fountaining in a scarlet jet fashion.
"Ah yes, as vibrantly red as your boyfriend's nose rocket, if I do recall," He stated with a wicked grin.
"ALRIGHT, ENOUGH!" Another burst of Triela almost making Richard drop the phone, he began juggling the phone frantically, nearly dropping it.
"Jeez, chill, woman!" Richard stated in his normal "shut the fuck up" style, as Triela calmed down.
"Now, you've got the beer already, right?"
"Got it right here." He stated, setting the bag down in the class before rocketing off again (and tearing out a third set of windows…)
"Right, then we need some Russian standard vodka…"
"Da!" He stated, appearing with a Russian guard's hat, and a bushwhack mustache, before jetting through yet another set of windows.
"Next up is a set of Spanish ice cream, and-"
"Olé!" He stated, standing in the class in a Spanish Matador's outfit, covered in ice.
"What happened to you?"
"I flew through the mesosphere to keep the ice cream cold." He stated, shaking off the ice, before leaving a frozen copy of himself in a newly broken section of windows.
"Now, we need some Irish and German whis-"
"Aw, come on! I was JUST in Germany!"
"And whose fault do you suppose that is!?" Triela yelled, Richard standing outside a Mexican restaurant, trying on Sombreros.
"Grab some Mexicano Authentico while you're there." She stated, the door breaking off as Richard rushed in with a sombrero, a poncho, and a guitar, riding a freaked out donkey.
"Muy Bueno, Muchachos!" He laughed, hurling the donkey through the next window as he rushed off.
"Last thing on the list is a Jet Black Mercedes."
"So, do you want a German one, an Italian one, or what?"
"I don't really care, just get me a goddamn car!" Chris shouted, as Richard scoffed.
"Oh, you are such a brute. Nice cars and pretty ladies are both a dime a dozen, and should be treated with respect!"
"… Are you still in Rome?"
A loud slurping noise made chris go rigid as Richard sat, eating spaghetti.
"I suppose you could say that, why-"
A thunderous crack sounded throughout the class as Richard spiraled through the next set of windows, as Triela whipped out her notebook, making a note;
'Weakness #5; Light body and hardy weight makes hitting him transform him into a tentacle cannonball.'
"Get me the damn car, already!"
"Guh… what's going on…?"
Hillshire sat up in an unsteady manor, as Claes and Rico mock-screamed, jumping out of the way as Hillshire's eyes went wide.
"Ah, shit… not agai-" The front fender of a blue 1999 Mercedes hit the ground in front of him, skipping though the room, and out through the back wall.
"Hey, asshole! That better not have been my Mercedes!"
"No, it was Hillshire's ride." A soft squeaking sound from outside caused everyone (except Hillshire) rushed to the window, to see a dark black Mercedes parked outside in the parking lot, shining so brightly, a window washer three blocks away was blinded, and fell off of his lift, four stories in the air.
"Whilst you were busy dodging flying Germans, I took the liberty to speed wash, wax, and polish the new ride. Slick as a baby's behind."
A rush of air as Richard returned to the room knocked Rico out of the window, landing headfirst onto the hood of the car. She slowly slid down the front of it, the skirt on her school uniform slowly falling down around her stomach as she laid on the car, her head touching the ground, with her legs waving in the air.
"Yep… smooth as a baby's behind…" Richard stated, a red stream running down his bright pink face.
Chris face-palmed, his fountain beginning to flow again, as Rico rolled over, a tomato-red face and her head shying down as she rushed back into the room, slapping Richard into said building three blocks away, as she grabbed her striped mint-green panties, and rushing into the girls room to change.
As the building collapsed due to broken support joints, Triela shouted from the window (well, the window holes, anyways…)
"Hey! What happened to getting the whiskey!?"
"…eck… bac… ca…" Echoed from across the street, the crumbling building muting most of the message.
"What was that!? I can't hear you over the sound of the useless remains of an office building!" Triela shouted.
"Check… ba… ar…" Echoed again, still muted from the crumbling building.
"Seriously, I can't hea-"
Triela gagged as a tendril slid into her mouth, gripping the side of her mouth as Richard hurtled towards her, the tendril changing to a human hand, as his finger slid down her throat, causing her to gag."
"I said…" He paused, his eyes a bright red. "Check the back of the car."
He pulled his fingers away, Triela coughing for air as she clutched the broken wall, Richard opening the trunk and back door, revealing a whole back end full of liquor.
"I made an effort to grab more than just German and Irish whiskey, ya know." He lifted a bottle of French wine, tossing it to Rico as she cuddled it as tightly as Petrushka hugs a Vodka bottle.
"I grabbed alcohol of all sorts of makes from many countries."
"What did you get for the others?" Claes asked, curious.
"Oh, I gathered various items for each person; I placed the goodie bags inside your rooms. I was very specific about the items I grabbed."
Alex laughed softly. "Even ol' Hillshire here?"
"Oh yeah, I almost forgot." Richard whirled around, and chucked a tin of meat at Hillshire's forehead, smacking him in the forehead so hard he fell unconscious again.
"I got him some Italian beef from America. A little gift from his 'farm', so to speak."
Chris tilted his head, confused.
"His farm?"
Claes slowly wandered over to the now beaten up body of Hillshire, and picked up the meat tin.
"'Hillshire Farms Italian Beef'…!" Claes slowly grinned, and burst into a hysterical fit of laughter. And Chris not wanting to miss the shot yelled "I say Hillshire you say farms "Hillshire" "Farms" "GO DICK!"
Calling the group in to the director's office tea mumbled seeing the broken windows and triela's vomit as she knew it would be a long day
"I'm going to kill that motherfucking son of a bitch"
As she started cleaning up the wreckage which she was mostly throwing the large pieces and chuckling she complained about her negligence about not fixing it after the bombings that had happened 2 months earlier and she quickly started rebuilding the walls and mumbled
"he breaks the next wall he can fucking rebuild it cause Im not a construction worker"
As the director looked at the gathered group and the fratello that were all gathered Katy stated the obvious question
"So where are we going and what is the job because I do not trust this guys to ask the obvious questions and Petra's to busy loving on chris" and as Priscila walked in with angelica and said "chief when are we going to the hotel and will it be a quick in and out or will we be there a while?" as she rubbed at what had been a broken wrist as Angelica had grabbed her.
As the operation started with everyone looking at the windows trying to find both the police chief and a terrorist cell as the RFR and RFB command had started to merge so they both had to go and angelica fainted at the window after they had been there for a while
"God damn it angelica are you ok?!" Priscila yelled.
Looking at the scared group around her she said "ya Im fine and thank you for being here for me everyone"
Assuming it was nerves Priscilla gave her a small 380 pistol to keep her nerves down as she had a severe case of nerves and they think led to her fainting.
"Hey, sorry this vacation isn't quite going as you thought it would, Rico." Angelica stated, staring at the ground, as Rico giggled, bouncing up and down on the bed.
"It's okay! I'm still enjoying myself!"
As she bounced higher and higher, a large hand touched the top of her head, and forcing her down onto the mattress, causing her to sit.
"Stop hopping up and down; it's making my head hurt worse."
Chris paused from his nosebleed moment to look away from a dagger-eyed Petrushka, looking to Richard.
"Do you have to be so rough on your girlfriend? She's just enjoying herself."
Richard rubbed his face, wiping the blood from a divot in his head off of his face.
"I have a severe headache, and I don't even know why I got hit!"
"That's not my problem." Petra seethed, clipping her bra back together.
"Rico, how are you so calm with him right now? He stole your panties clean off of you, for Christ's sakes!" Rico smiled air-headedly, scratching her chin, and tilting her head to the side.
"Well, last time I slapped him, I leveled an entire office building, so it might not be such a good idea…"
Richard blinked, his jaw slowly drooping.
"Wait, I did what now?"
Rico smiled softly, spinning a pair of her underwear on her finger.
"You've been practicing you speed well. You snagged my panties off of me without me even noticing they were gone."
He paused, awestruck as his nose began to bleed again, causing him to black out.
"Too much blood?"
"Too much blood." Chris nodded in agreement.
"Do you think he will be up in time for the operation?" Claes asked and chris stated "Doesn't matter if he's not which I don't think he will be we do this" as the two tied him up under the bed and began the operation as rico yelled "See you soon dumbass"
"Rico you know you suck at telling time and why are you still spinning your panties for the love of god you are only 16" Claes asked as Chris worked with petra to try and get her bra back on.
A/N: *Dragon Ball Z announcer voice go* Will Petrushka ever get her bra back on?
"Nope."
Will Rico ever put her panties back on?
"Not likely."
Will Richard ever wake up from his eternal gagging slumber?
"God, I hope not…"
Will I ever get paid for my goofy voice overs?
"no."
Find out on the next exiting chapter of Shadow War Z!
"Shut up, Richard."