Gunslinger girl shadows of war Ch. 15: Paralysis to practitioner
A/N: I do not own gunslinger girl but I wish I did and any reviews would be helpful and this will be rico's nightmare chapter
Last time on Shadow Wa- OW!
"No! You did that last time! IF you're gonna do this, at least get new material!"
B-but… Recap!
"LIKE I SAID LAST TIME, READ THE DAMN CHAPTER BEFORE!"
B-But…. I must REEEEECAPPPPPPP AND IS HITTING ME REALLY NESSECARY BECAUSE ITS PISSING ME OFF!
"Like I said; it's an annoyance, and its fun as shit, but moving on!
I'M THE EDITOR! FEAR MY FOURTH WALL SHATTERS!
"I'm the writer so shut up and enjoy it! Ahem… moving on."
As the sun started to rise, and the group were all groggy, Richard stated the question that was on everybody's mind when he asked albeit a touch too loudly for their groggy hung-over selves;
"Where the fuck are my god damn pants!?" standing up with a curtain around his neck like a super hero to get a boot to the nuts and he yelled "OWWW MAH DICK!" and Chris said "Turn around or I will slap you with mah dick" and was confused saying "what the fuck was that?" Heavy breathing sounded out behind him, as Rico appeared in a large hazmat suit.
"I believe…" She gasped slowly, the vents on the suit slowly melting away; "These belong to you." As she held out her tongs, a pair of pants and boxers on the end of them melting through the edges, and landing on the floor.
"Yep, that's them. Thanks, Rico!" Rico's face twisted in awe as the pants and boxers slowly levitated, and attached to his body. The suit slowly began to melt as Rico fled to the outside of the room, staring in.
"Do you ever WASH those nasty-ass things!?"
"Every other Sunday of every other month," He laughed, watching Rico freak out and flee.
Chris laughed from the other room, watching Rico flee in terror.
"Well that was fun, I guess… And I wonder where Petra is? And why are my boots missing? I hope like hell I haven't been shanghaied…" Chris said as petra walked out dressed in his boots and a pair of her black pants and a red bra sent Chris running out, well more like rocket skating out of the room, as Petra asked him if he liked what he saw.
"Oh-kay why the fuck is everyone bleeding to death in here!? Because then I have to take time out of my day to help tea clean this shit up! And do you know how bad that fucking sucks?!" Elsa raged as mike walked in shirtless after a sparring session with a GIS commando and that sent Claes blubbering like a fool before her head ruptured and spilled blood everywhere and they were all interrupted by Jean, who yelled;
"do you mind fucking getting dressed and getting your asses to my class, or do I have to recondition you all!?" and David who just woke up and sat up like Dracula who scared and almost caused claes to faint as his head went up her skirt and so his response was a muffled "do you mind going and fucking yourself somewhere else?" and as Jean yelled at David "I can't hear you!" Dave put claes on his shoulders and still with a bit of a blood trail yelled "DO YOU MIND GOING AND FUCKING YOURSELF SOMEWERE ELSE!?" before he stormed off to class and the rest of the group saw Hillshire appear and said "oh, look… if it isn't jackass level 5." and Triela stated "no his jackass level is…1006 Richard! Go talk to him." and he said yay before walking over then hissing and running away leaving Triela laughing and saying
"Richard! I had the damn thing upside down. his level is IS…! over 9000. but he's still not a match." and seeing Richards face said "for me." and she walked over and punched him with one blow and then flipped her hair before walking away to go to class and etta followed in a dress and stepped on Jeans balls with stiletto high heels with the heel being a literal stiletto knife blade hidden in it and as he jerked up and Alex kicked him in the head with a sickening crack knocking him unconscious and spraying blood all over before asking "is the goal good?" and climbing out the window and up the monastery.
As the girls walked into class the guys had decided to skip class and help tea clean up after the party and as Richard had put it to tea in private "I will help you talk to Emily and you can tell her how you feel" which got tea blushing as she knew what he was getting at having seen her masturbating a time or two thinking about Emily. "Ok I'll talk to her just for the love of god make you and your boys scarce and if you tell her I masturbate thinking of her the girls cooking will be the least of your worries" she hissed through clenched teeth as she knew Richard and Alex were just as bad as triela in the aspects of keeping secrets then they all slid away as Emily walked into the room.
"Where are they cause they said they would help and I really wished they were here cause they have the best jokes ever" and Richard chimed up with we are here its not like we are dead and kiss the girl god damn it!" and at that moment Tea said "he was talking to me and I love you" and they started to kiss with passion as everyone knew that Emily was in love with tea but couldn't tell.
As they all got together to go to class as tea and Emily were blushing like the newlyweds everyone said they were they both started to fall asleep in class as they were all called down to the "principal's office" which was what they called the director's office. "oh shit guys we have to get to Lorenzo's office so we can end this shit and I have a feeling we will call on Elsa for the assistance we need in this operation" Alex yelled before barging out of the room not waiting to check on Richard who had to grab rico after she dropped the words that he was afraid of hearing
"Baby I can't move I wish I was dead" only for a slap across the face to stun her and the voice she heard was calming "not a chance in hell cause we still have a life ahead of us but Ill send you to bed and check on you when I get back" and as he set her down he said "Rico I will always love you" and as they kissed with a undying passion he turned out the lights not realizing that she would have anything but a peaceful night's sleep.
"Ok you all have a raid to go out and capture or kill a master assassin of the FRF/RDF cell based in the border towns with Germany so it is all hands on deck and where is rico?" Lorenzo asked as he finally saw that rico was not apart of the group he was addressing and Richard who wasn't about to tell him jack shit about what happened and he took the shot that he knew would be long overdue and with a smile he said "would you believe me if I said up your ass? No then how about this FUCK YOU" as he turned his back he heard the director state
"I have a feeling with the way you are acting that something bad had happened to her but I promise you she will be ok and section 9 has offered up one of their personnel and boys I think you will know her major" and the boys finished in unison "Kusanagi" and they high fived as they would be working with an old friend.
Hearing that the director said "glad to see you boys will have a good working relationship with her now get moving and Richard" he called out as they left the room "if you ever talk like that to me again I will kick your ass and order you to be reconditioned" before Richard stated "what the fuck ever" and ran to the truck that was waiting for him and the crew and they all pulled on the body armor they had and as Alex loaded his shotgun he laughed and said
"Hopefully Richard can work without his girlfriend here and Richard I do not deal with legend only fact and the facts are they will be crying like a little bitch when we get through with them" and Richard said "while that is true I will do just as good as if she was with me the only difference if that no one will be able to hold me back when I get mad so fuck off" and they all had the last gentle laugh of the night.
Well I'm back bitch and you are just jealous of my chain chomp swagger"
"Oh for fuck sake get the hell out of here or is pissing me off in your job description?!"
Well now that you mentioned that I have a contract you need to review and sign to keep me around another 120,000 years so sign please….
"You know what I will look at it now GET THE FUCK OUT!"
*chain chomp warp pipe noise* chain CHOMP AWAY! *breaks through a window*
"Thank god he's gone back to the story and must install a shatterproof window next time"
As the trucks in the convoy all made it to the border they found that there was also a triad squad involved in a phone briefing with the director and when Alex found out he and Richard weren't to thrilled as they yelled with the objection that they both had to state
"Son of a bitch we have to deal with the usual assholes and now we have to deal with the chicken shits that ahd tried to fuck with us before and failed" as they both felt the scars that they ahd received form the triads and they silently vowed to make them pay with their lives for the failure of a career choice they made.
As they started to kick in the door they tripped the explosive charges that had been rigged to the doors to kill the other gangs that they were at war with the most notable being the wolves. When they felt the heat of the fire ball hit them they all adjusted their weapons so they wouldn't get hurt as the weapons were flying around and they all rolled as Alex yelled "we're back bitches" and as one of the snipers missed and he didn't even miss a beat "that's it you all die and don't say I didn't warn you and when you see your boss tell him I said like a bitch" before blowing them up.
After the boys had left rico started to toss and turn she instantly regretted not going with them as she started to scream as the nightmare started and she started to wet the bed out of sheer terror and Claes refused to let anyone wake Rico as she knew that would be more dangerous for rico and everyone involved.
"Oh god why the fuck is this happening" rico yelled and Seeing triela going to wake her up Claes slapped her and yelled "If you wake her up we will all die so Etta just hold her hand and ride it out that's all you can do" before taking triela and leaving to get supper going.
As rico woke up she was in the hospital not knowing what the hell was going on and she was greeted by a familiar sound of her mom and dad arguing and the hospital staff telling them to shut the hell up or leave and them getting thrown out. As she laid in the hospital bed she heard you have a roommate so please play nice with each other and rico was expecting them to leave soon as that is what always happened she saw the young man in the bed next to her cry and say "mommy I can find the money you don't need to do that I promise Ill eb good and helpful so please stop" and the kid screamed while clutching at was once upon a time a whole leg and hand. As sge threw a ice cube at the bed next to her she saw the young man wake up and ask "did I disturb you because if so im sorry" and the young man looked at her and said "names hayden but I prefer to go by my middle name Richard and what's your name?" and she said "Florence bastille" and Hayden laughed and said "Ill nickname you Italy" and they shared a belly laugh as rico was woken up.
"H-how long was I out sis?" she asked as Etta slowly started to stir after feeling her hand get rubbed on and as etta yawned and stretched said "oh two hours and after hearing you crying me and the others came in but they left to make you lunch because you slept through it so I held your hand until you woke up because I wasn't allowed to climb in bed with you" rico rolled the covers back and said "hop in sister because you look cold" and they hugged until lunch arrived and Claes started to yell only for rico to say "shut up I invited her in the bed with me after I woke up because she looked cold" and Claes quieted down saying "my little angels".
As the boys started to keep hunting the target they were looking for Richard yelled "found waldo he was trying to be a little bitch" and he drug the man out as triela had been sent to join them as well as Kusangi who took control of the target and punched him knocking him out before loading him in a separate car and driving into the sunset leaving the convoy to travel off their own way. As they started cruising Richard was sitting on the roof on the trail vehicle as the triads launched a ambush causing the trucks to flip knocking triela out and causing Richards book to burn and his drink to spill.
Looking at the chaos he slowly put in his music and said quietly "you all done goofed and now you are going to die" as he turned on ultranumb he started to rip through the enemies tearing out organs with both hands and teeth and ripped the limbs off most of his opponents before looking at triela as the song changed his eye slowly melted and he slammed his fist through a guy's chest slapping chris with the heart and causing triela to faint and chris just had to ask
"what the fuck happened here and is anyone still alive for me to play with?" as ale yelled "he tore shit up and ya that guy over there" who was dragging away with his spinal cord hanging out and as chris grabbed it he started spinning it around saying "look at my brand new toy and time to let it fly as a boomerang" and sure enough he spun but didn't come back which made the kids very mad and chris stated his disappointment "Damn it I lost my toy and it didn't come back" and he walked away cussing under his breath until they made it to the cars and started to go home to the monastery and food maybe sleep.
As soon as they returned Richard got wrapped in a hug by rico who kissed him like he had not been back home for a year and he loving smacked her ass and said "I wasn't gone for too long so I can't breathe" and as she let him go he walked to the bed and slid his shirt off and started to reach for the hatchet he had and said "god damn it I thought this shit would end" and he started to have a nightmare as the same thing happened over in Alex and Etta's room.
As Richard saw that he was in the hospital room next to rico he asked "what the hell happened and do you think they will let us go for a walk since my leg has healed and my hand is regaining feeling" and he showed off the awesome prosthetic hand and leg they gave him. Looking at him rico said "yes I think so but I will need to be in the wheelchair because I cant really walk you know?" and she laughed as she was in her panties and bra as she sheepishly asked for help getting dressed and they smirked and took a spin around the grounds and saw the hatchet that was in the kitchen being used by a nut job and he kicked him in the face cutting his legs and he jerked awake from rico slapping him with her pants.
Chain comp is baaaaa….. OW LET GO OF MY TONGUE GOD DAMN IT
"God you are so fucking annoying and I thought about your contract and….."
Chain chomp hangs around forever?!
"No I just need to review your proformance now LEAVE ME ALONE!"
Chain chomp says you're a diiiiiiiiiiiiiiiick *gets kicked out a window*
"Now that's the end of that and lets get back to the story shall we?"
As Alex had his nightmare he didn't even make a sound as he expected it to happen and he wasn't disappointed. The only thing he mumbled as Etta was asleep next to him was "fucking took it long enough for this to happen" and he just laid back and enjoyed the ride.
He woke up in the hospital and at first he was pissed off that he was there till the searing pain in his arm and ribs reminded him of when it was. "god damn it this hurts like a bitch" he moaned as he waited for the morphine to kick in and he started to get up and unsteadily moved grabbing the medicine stand and limping as an old friend of his named Andrea slid in and asked "how are you feeling and don't trey and lie to me about feeling good because I could find out exactly how much pain you are in by doing this" and she grabbed his wrist that had met with the dull side of an ax blade that he used to cut would at the family farm and let out a laugh as him almost blacked out from the pain.
"Do you really have to do that?" he asked though clenched teeth before she said "I knew you were in more pain than you let on ranger boy" and he asked "do you think we can get something to eat after they pull the fucking wires out of me?" and right on cue a man in a black jacket and ball cap swung at him with a knife only to get a boot to the leg and the knife was removed as Andrea twisted his hand away getting a joyous snap as the wrist disintegrated. "Well that was easier than I thought and if they were trying to kill you they suck at it and I say we turn this place into a-" only for Andrea to be cut off by Alex who said "we have the farm for the hacker interrogation and don't worry we will be able to either split hairs or skulls depending on what happens and it'll be fun as shit" ending it with a grin. Grabbing his hand Andrea smiled and said "hackers are us and game set match now grab this motherfucker" and they threw a black bag over his head before dragging him back to the truck and a dull hatchet to the head set him up for a night of torture that ended with the young mans burned broken bullet riddled body being found on the street in Mexico because they lived in California.
Right as they made it to the cantina they bumped into the cartel thugs who put them in the hospital and not one to mix words Alex unloaded the magazine into the men in front of him they hit him with a blackjack and as they woke up and found an ax held at his head and he was asked "why the fuck did you sell su out to the feds you son of a bitch?!" and he ducked as the ax was swung at his head and he ducked a little but got the dull side in the ribs and the pain was bad enough that he spat up bright red blood over the floor and the thugs started to smile only for Andrea to put two rounds into the back of Alex's attackers and said "vacations over so let's go" and the house blew up sending her out the window and Alex up in what everyone thought was a blaze of glory.
As he woke up he saw his girlfriend grabbing his hand and saying
"Well you are awake boy and so is mister happy" and Etta rubbed his junk only for him to say "it's not the time right now and I need to check the computers so ill be back when I'm done" and he walked out and saw rico shudder just a little as did Richard as Chris was using the ax that they had in the tool shed to help keep them warm for the winter and as Alex got online he found that Andrea was now a 17 year old member of LA county's swat team and she was the youngest that they ever had and they made good use of her skills and Alex thought that a friend in the police forces out there could come in handy if the whole zone went to hell like he thought it would so he called and started to reach out to her as etta kissed his neck and smiled as the friends where idly chatting away till the early hours of the morning. Triela smiled and squealed almost crying
"that's soooooooo cute and at ;east I know the camera system works and maybe I can spy on my little sister" and as she pointed the camera and mic she turned green and that got Keysen laughing as he was giving the ear buds hearing emily's distinct voice squeal oh yes baby that's the right button" and Keysen winked and said "let's get down and show them how it's done" and Richard shoved his head out the window and yelled "how good are you at digging holes besides the one between your girlfriends legs" only to get a brick thrown at his head which sent him ducking out of the line of fire as the two love birds used the water as a bed that they knew sleep was long overdue and Richard found a M134DH minigun and laughed using it to make popcorn and cotton candy before watching Freddy vs Jason until 6am then finding Chris' LSAT LMG and petra's RPK-94 then playing with them pissing Tea off for leaving shell casings everywhere before meeting them for breakfast.