Note: Ugh, this chapter gave me the worst fight. Anywhoo, it's up now! Before I start, I noticed that for some reason some of the page breaks I had put in in the last few chapters are disappearing again. I'm really confused why this keeps happening, but when I get a chance I'll try and fix them. Just note that if there seems to be a random jump in the story, that may be one of those disappearing breaks...let me know if you find any. I know there's at least one back in chapter 9, but there shouldn't be any in this particular chapter.
12
"You idiot, Potter!" Snape was fuming. When he had come across the scene in the corridor and had understood the meaning he had gathered up Draco in his arms and commanded Harry to follow. Once Draco was safely in his office, he had dragged Harry firmly by the arm into the adjacent potions classroom. "Did I not tell you to be careful!? Was that too much for your small mind to handle?!"
"We were…I mean, I tried!" Harry spluttered, very afraid of what the enraged Snape might do.
"Not very well!" Snape thrust the offending note into Harry's face. "Secret lovers? And signing your name! Are you that daft?"
"I'm so sorry," Harry whispered, meaning the apology more for Draco than the furious professor staring him down. He sank into the nearest desk and put his head in his hands.
"Apologies will not help anything now," Snape growled, but backed down as he noted his success at putting the boy in his place. "We must decide what to do next."
"We?" Harry looked up, his eyes red.
"Yes, we, Potter. This is your mess and you will be responsible for it."
"I didn't mean…"
"Never mind what you meant. Draco's belongings need to be removed from the Slytherin dorms before we do anything else. You cannot get in without Draco, but I will not allow him to go alone seeing as you have so kindly informed his house of this unsavory relationship between yourselves. Do you have your cloak?"
"Yes, but it's upstairs in my trunk," Harry replied, surprised at Snape's knowledge of his most prized possession.
"Get it now and come back here immediately."
"But sir, would it not be better if you got Draco's stuff?" Harry asked in earnest.
"I have a class to teach, Potter," Snape pointed to the door to the corridor outside of which a mass of students were waiting to come in. "And quite a few owls to send off to try and delay the damage. Now go. I will explain to Draco the plan while you are gone."
Snape pointed his wand to the door to the corridor and it opened to let a surge of students come through. Harry pushed through the crowd, trying his hardest to ignore the stares he was receiving. It was obvious what the topic of conversation had been as the students waited for class to begin. Snape, at the other end of the classroom, slipped back into his office as his students settled down in their desks, still chattering away about the newest gossip.
"Your brainless companion will be here momentarily to take you to collect your things," Snape called over to Draco as he shut the door between his office and classroom. He turned to face Draco, his arms crossed.
The blonde haired boy still sat shaking on the uncomfortable wooden chair, one hand clutching his side where Crabbe's boot had made contact. He said nothing to the professor and purposefully avoided eye contact.
"I did warn you this would happen, Draco," Severus's voice lost its harshness and gave way to a gentle tone, but it still held an air of scolding. "I tried to give you a way out."
"There was never a way out," Draco half-whispered.
Severus clicked his tongue in disapproval and leaned against his desk. "The damage is done, Draco. There is little we can do now than to move you out of the Slytherin dorms and hope your friend Nott does not spread the word too quickly. I will attempt to keep Lucius in the dark for as long as possible, but I feel I should inform your mother of the situation."
"What would she care," Draco spat, suddenly angry.
"Really, Draco, that's the most ridiculous thing I have heard you say. And considering you once sat in that very chair and told me you were in love with Harry Potter…"
"Then why hasn't she written?" Draco interrupted. "Why did she allow father send me that letter if she cared? She would probably prefer me dead as well!"
"I would very much doubt your mother knows anything at all," Severus replied, not taken aback by his godson's outburst. "Lucius is very strict on the information he allows your mother to be privy to, and I cannot imagine he has admitted to her that his prized son might be defective."
Draco winced at the last word. Severus noticed the reaction and leaned forward to place a hand on the boy's shoulder in sympathy.
"What did your father say to you in his letter? I never asked."
Draco laughed darkly. "That he would prefer me dead than have me to bring such shame to the Malfoy family and that I was not to come home from Hogwarts unless it was the school sending home my remains."
This revelation did, in fact, shock Severus. He had known Lucius to be hard on his son at times, but he had never been cruel – to his knowledge at least. His hand still on Draco, Severus gave the boy's shoulder a light squeeze before pulling away. "Your father is a misguided fool, Draco, but your mother is not."
Part of Draco doubted Severus's reassurance, but it relieved him slightly to think his mother might still be uninformed of his…defectiveness. With the relief, however, came a sharp pang of guilt. He had never stopped to consider how his mother might feel if he had succeeded in killing himself. If he had thought…if he hadn't been so selfish…but no – he remembered the hurt and the pain he had felt as he sat on that cold floor with his potions knife. His eyes flickered to his scarred wrists. No, not even thoughts of his mother could have stopped him that day.
"I must go to class now," Snape pulled Draco out of his thoughts. "Wait here until Potter returns. You are to bring your belongings back here to my office until we decide what to do with you."
Just then a knock came at the door. Severus pointed his wand in the direction of the noise, and the door opened to reveal Harry, hand raised in preparation to knock a second time.
"Ah, Mr. Potter. I suppose you will not be so foolish as to get my godson in any more trouble today? Put on your cloak now and take Draco to his dorms." Snape strolled to the door leading to his waiting class, but paused to add in a serious tone, "See that he is not harassed by anyone along the way."
"Yes sir," Harry replied as he swung the cloak around his shoulders so that all but his head disappeared.
With one last glare in Harry's direction, Snape turned and disappeared through the door leaving the two boys alone.
"Well, shall we go?" Harry asked nervously. Draco's earlier demand to leave him alone still rang in Harry's ears.
Draco said nothing, but stood up on shaky legs. He winced as he did so, clutching his side a little tighter, but he pushed off Harry's attempt to help him stand. Backing away, Harry covered his head with the cloak and followed Draco out into the corridor, thankful his companion could not see the hurt on his face. And though Draco's face remained uncovered, Harry could not read what the other boy was feeling as they headed in the direction of the Slytherin dorms.
They reached the entrance to the Slytherin common room without incident. Most students were in class by now and those who weren't seemed not to have heard the rumor yet or were too busy to care. However, as they passed by some older students studying in the common room, Harry heard them whisper insults as they passed. Had he not feared Snape's retribution, Harry would have cursed the insolent students from under his cloak, but the pair passed by in silence.
When they had entered Draco's dorm and the door was closed, Harry forgot his silence. "Draco, I really am sorry. I thought you had the note or I wouldn't have let go."
Draco waved him off. Though, thanks to Harry's continued invisibility, Draco really waved at the opposite wall. "It wasn't your fault. It was bound to happen anyway with how stupid we've been."
"Stupid?" Harry couldn't help his voice from cracking a little.
"I didn't mean it like that." The Slytherin sighed and fell onto his bed.
Harry moved to sit down next to Draco, which the blonde haired boy was alerted to by the sudden sinking of one corner of the mattress. A moment later, Harry's arms were wrapped around Draco's torso from behind, his hands appearing out of thin air as the cloak caught against his elbows.
"Your dorm is rubbish compared to mine," Harry joked, trying to goad the other boy into smiling. "Your bed is as hard as a rock!"
Draco ignored the attempt and leaned back against Harry embrace. "What if they kill me?"
Harry stayed silent for a moment before replying. "I thought you weren't afraid of dying. That day in the classroom when I found you with that knife…you didn't seem too bothered by the idea then."
"That isn't funny."
"I didn't mean it to be," Harry shifted uncomfortably behind Draco. "You will be safe while you are at Hogwarts."
"What makes you say that?" Draco asked, turning his head to find the emptiness that was Harry.
"What has stopped you from killing me?"
"What? Kill you? Why would I…oh," Draco began to follow Harry's thought. "Harry, don't be ridiculous. Do you really think the Dark Lord would really send a child to kill his precious enemy?"
"Don't call him that," Harry snapped suddenly. It sent him on edge how easily Draco spoke about Voldemort.
"Why not?" Draco asked, defensive.
"It empowers him," Harry replied and added in a mumble, "I only hear Death Eaters call him that."
It was Draco's turn to shift uncomfortably. "Well, I don't suppose I'm very far from being one myself."
"You're nothing like them," Harry tightened his hug around Draco trying to be comforting, but the boy jerked away.
"Them refers to my family, my friends!" Draco snapped.
"Who have abandoned you and would prefer you dead!" Harry snapped back.
Draco pushed himself off of his bed and passed a hand over his forehead as if he was fighting a painful headache. His earlier realization about his mother was confusing his thoughts. "Let's please not talk about this now. I need to pack my things."
Harry stayed put on the bed as Draco tossed various items into his open trunk. He felt sick and was again thankful that he was hidden under the cloak. Had Draco really just defended the Death Eaters after all that had happened? All at once the fear and anxiety Harry had been hiding about Malfoy since he had kissed him in the library came flooding through his mind. What was he doing with this boy who stood for everything he was fighting against? But as his mind panicked over the doubts coursing through him, some rational part of his brain recalled the memory of something Draco had said after their first meeting with Snape.
"I've seen there may be some hope for someone like me…the chance to escape my future as a Death Eater. I'm not pretending to be a saint, Harry," Draco said, now tearing apart the blade of grass he had been playing with. "I was taught a certain mindset growing up, one that I find difficult to let go of, but that does not mean I play to give into their fairy-tale ideals."
The memory seemed to calm Harry down for the moment. He slid off of the bed and grabbed Draco's pillow to take it to him.
"Merlin's ass, Harry!" Draco yelled after he had jumped in the air with an embarrassing squeak. "Don't scare me like that! Take that cloak off so I can see you. Merlin, Harry!"
Harry gave a genuine laugh at Draco's reaction. As he unwrapped the cloak from around him he was pleased to see a smile on Draco's face.
But the smile was short lived. Without warning, the door behind them banged open.
"Draco, are you in…what the bloody hell is he doing here?" The voice of Goyle reverberated through the room.
Harry was first to react. He pulled out his wand instinctively, but the intruder was not far behind.
"Gregory," Draco said smoothly, as if there was no tension in the room. "You should be in a class."
"Yeah, well I thought I would come and find you." He and Harry still had their wands pointed dangerously at one another. "I was worried about you."
"Worried?" Harry and Draco asked in surprised unison.
"Yeah, worried!" Goyle huffed, obviously not pleased at having his intentions questioned. "You didn't show up to class and I thought Theo or Vince might have…are you packing?"
Harry used the momentary distraction to disarm Goyle, but Draco deftly caught the wand mid-air and handed it back to Goyle.
"Harry, really," Draco rolled his eyes as Harry protested. Goyle, still distracted took his wand and put it away without thinking.
"Why are you packing?" Goyle asked, his mind working over a plausible explanation. "They didn't kick you out?"
"I figured I should get out of here before one of you lot tries to kill me," Draco replied, his tone biting, as he resumed tossing his remaining belongings into his trunk.
"Don't be ridiculous, Draco. They're not going to kill you," Goyle tried to argue.
"No, you don't be ridiculous!" Draco slammed his trunk shut and turned to his housemate. "You may not slit my throat while I'm sleeping, but there's plenty of things worse than killing that I know you lot are fully capable of."
"Draco, I…I would n…never!" Goyle stuttered as Draco pushed past him with his enchanted trunk following along behind him.
"Come on Harry," Draco demanded and waited for the Gryffindor to disappear under the cloak once more before pushing open the door.
"I swear to god, Malfoy." Goyle raised his wand threateningly. "I did not risk coming to find you just so you can run off your 'golden boy' Potter!"
The invisible Harry whipped around to point his wand at Goyle. The obvious anger and hurt in Goyle's voice shocked Harry, but Draco seemed unphased.
"That's just it, though," Draco responded in a calm, controlled voice. "I don't want you risking anything for me. It's not worth it…Merlin, if I could have held on…just let me be, Greg. It's just not worth it."
And with those final words still hanging in the air, Draco backed out of the room with his levitating trunk and the invisible Harry in tow. Goyle did not lower his wand, though he did nothing to stop the exodus. Instead he stood there frozen with his face torn at what expression to show.
Note: Boy, was that chapter a tough one! I don't know why, I just couldn't for the life of me get it to come out like I wanted it to. I would have had it up long before now, but everytime I tried to get Goyle involved it seemed completely unrealistic. I'm not too upset with how it turned out, though. I'm much relieved to finally get this chapter uploaded and out of my hair. Now what to do with Draco... ;) Review review! Let me know what you think so far ^^
~TJ (SnapeIsNotEvil)