She lit a fire, and now she's in my every thought.
She Lit a Fire / Lord Huron
The spring formal that closes out the year is on Litchfield territory; they hold it outside, down by the lake, under white tents and strung light bulbs and several outdoor dance floors. The whole thing must cost a fortune - so, like, one student's semester tuition - but on Saturday it will be turned into a luncheon area for the teachers and board members to schmooze with the richest parents slash donors before the academic awards ceremony. It stays up for the post-graduation lunch on Sunday, at which point Alex and Piper and the rest of the underclassmen will have already gone home.
Everyone pregames in Alex and Piper's room, and the two of them drink right to the edge of drunk and kiss in front of the others, tasting like tequila, like silver and gold. Piper's in this yellow dress that makes Alex teasingly call her Sunshine. Janae and Marcus broke up two weeks before, so the five of them stick together and don't leave the dance floor all night. Well, except for Nicky, who's back and forth to the turntable flirting with the female DJ, and even though Alex gives her shit for it - "Keep it in your pants, jail bait." - it works out, because songs keep playing that she knows Nicky requested, Betty Who and Icona Pop and Halsey.
The dancing feels like drawn out, teasing foreplay, and Alex and Piper don't even have to be very careful; the crowded space keeps them pressed together anyway, their hands hidden in the swaying throng of bodies.
Still, there comes a point - namely, when Piper runs a hand through Alex's hair and steps pointedly between Alex's legs, her eyes hazy with tipsy, unrestrained longing - that Alex grins and makes the executive decision that it's time for some privacy.
They don't even have to lie in promising the chaperones they're going straight back to their dorm.
Heels in their hands, they hurry barefoot across the grass and brick of the campus. When they're far enough away that the lake and dance is out of sight, Piper actually grabs Alex's hand, tugs her against one of the columns outside the library to kiss. The night air is warm and summer scented, the dark around them dotted with fireflies. Alex gently tugs Piper's hair free from her updo, tangling her fingers amid loose bobby pins.
They can't hear the music anymore, but Piper's laugh against her lips is the best sound; it feels like maybe the best day of Alex's life, but then she's had that thought at least once a week since she and Piper got together.
"God, I love this dress on you..."
"Oh, so you want me to leave it on?"
"Not for another second..."
"Fuck, I love drunk Pipes..."
"You also love me sober."
"Got me there, babe."
"Your bed or mine?"
"Do you really care right now?"
...
...
"Fuck."
"You alright?"
"Stupid...fucking...loft bed."
"Here, drunky, we'll just...voila!"
"Oh my God."
"Get down here."
They're lying in a tangle of Alex's comforter and sheets, spread messily on the floor between the two beds.
"You know at the last dance?"
Piper tips her head up to make eye contact. "Yeah?"
"I saw you and Larry kissing."
"Really?"
Alex nods, quirks her lips into a gentle smile. "It sucked."
Piper's face falls, and Alex wonders if she's going over that night in her head, filling in the blanks to explain Alex's long absence, the red eyes that weren't actually from smoking pot. "I'm sorry."
"Jesus, Pipes, nothing to be sorry about. I'm just thinking..." She lets her fingers swim through Piper's sweat matted hair. "I had no idea how good it was about to get."
Piper's smile sends relief rippling across her face. "So good." She's still a little drunk, dragging one finger the perimeter of Alex's face, currently rounding the curve of her chin. "I love you."
It's been two weeks, and still every time they say it Alex feels a flickering threat of tears dance across her throat, just for a second. "Love you, too."
They kiss again, and keep it going, just revving up when their phones vibrate a few seconds apart.
Piper pulls away and wrinkles her nose. "We're supposed to meet up with the others."
"Do we have to?"
They're quiet for a moment, debating how important being a good friend is right now.
"It is a tradition," Alex says at last. "They'll make a huge thing if we don't go."
"And Janae saw Marcus dancing with that Amber girl...we should make sure she's okay."
"Oh, yeah. That's a nicer reason than mine."
Alex kisses her again before they get up and start hastily pulling on clothes, a kiss that feels like an ellipses, like to be continued.
They pack their suitcases with two or three of the other's shirts. Piper likes the idea of wearing Alex's soccer T-shirt around like a secret, claiming it just got mixed up with her clothes by accident.
Her parents meet Alex. She's still in her blazer and skirt from the awards ceremony - they'd both been called up for Honor Roll, along with Poussey - so they can't see her tattoos. It's all very polite and friendly, but Piper knows that would change if her parents found out any detail about Alex beyond their easy assumptions.
She pretends to have forgotten something in her dorm room, leaves her parents and Cal idling in the car and impatient to get over to Danny's school, so she can run back up and kiss Alex one more time.
"No getting sad," Alex reminds her when Piper's fingers latch onto the front of her shirt with no intentions of letting go. "I could see you in a week."
That's when Piper's birthday is. She nods. "As soon as possible."
Alex arches an eyebrow and grins. "If you fail the driving test I'll never forgive you."
"I promise to study the handbook the whole ride home."
Polly actually rides with the Chapmans to Overbrook so she can tell Danny goodbye.
"I feel like we haven't hung out in forever, Pipe," Polly gripes beside her in the backseat. It's kind of true, especially with tennis in off season, just two practices a week. "I was looking for you the other night at the dance."
"Yeah, sorry..." She lowers her voice, glancing at her parents in the front seat. "Just figured it might be awkward." It's been her excuse for getting out of hanging out with Polly since February - her plans inevitably involve the group of Overbrook boys, Larry included.
It's not like she's lying, anyway; it would be awkward to see him after the disastrous Valentine's Day. In fact, Piper's thinking about requesting to just stay in the car while they move Danny's stuff out of his dorm room.
But Polly shakes her head. "He's over it, I swear. I think he knows now he moved kind of fast."
"It wasn't really that," Piper says, the slightest bit of guilt nudging against her stomach.
It's still so strange, having to lie like this. Alex is her girlfriend, Piper loves her, and she never really thinks of it as dating a girl.
But because of that, she can't just say the simple truth: I liked someone else.
No, that's not quite right.
She can't say, Turns out I was ridiculously in love with my roommate all along.
Text Message, Saturday, 8:17 pm
PIPER
[Miss me yet?]
ALEX
[Yes.]
[Too much.]
PIPER
[Call when you get home?]
ALEX
[Facetime.]
PIPER
[YES, even better.]
[We can do that thing where we stay on the phone and watch a movie together.]
[Like in When Harry Met Sally.]
ALEX
[As long as we don't actually WATCH when harry met sally]
Piper's never liked her birthday.
Well. Maybe not never. She always looks pretty happy in the really old photos, like when she was turning four or five and only cared about cake and presents.
But for all the birthdays she can vividly remember, Piper's been aware of a certain strain to the day, her parents cranking up the Happy Family appearance to the point that it becomes even harder to believe, a theater troupe overacting their roles.
She kind of hates being the reason for that.
But this year, she turns sixteen. Her dad takes her the morning off to take her to the DMV, and she gets to gloat at Danny for passing the test on the first try - he'd failed the written, hadn't even gotten in the car until the next week. When she comes home, there's a baby blue Volkswagon Beetle parked in the driveway with a bow on the hood, and she thanks her parents over and over.
Because the real gift is the ability to get to Alex.
Text Message, Tuesday, 11:16 am
PIPER
[I passed!]
[and I got a car!]
PIPER, 11:29 am
[you're still asleep aren't you?]
[SO LAZY]
ALEX, 11:43 am
[I was asleep]
[Because it's SUMMER]
[And you texting me first on your birthday kinda ruins it]
[I'm supposed to text you.]
PIPER
[you called at midnight that counts]
ALEX
[Still.]
[Happy birthday.]
PIPER
[Did you even see what I said]
[I have a car...hold on I'll get a photo.]
ALEX
[Forget the photo, just get your ass over here already.]
PIPER
[I'll be on my way in the morning]
ALEX
[FINALLY]
Group Text Message, Tuesday, 1:32 pm
POUSSEY
[Happy birthday, Pipe!]
JANAE
[Yeah happy birthday dude]
NICKY
[Yessss sweet sixteen]
[baby duckling's become a swan]
ALEX
[you don't know much about how animals work]
PIPER
[Aw thanks you guys]
POUSSEY
[Special thanks to me, for doing this on the group message]
[otherwise these two wouldn't have remembered]
JANAE
[WRONG already wrote on her facebook]
PIPER
[She did.]
POUSSEY
[So only Nicky sucks.]
With her new ticket to freedom - and its horrible photo of her - tucked into her wallet, Piper leaves the day after her birthday and drives the hour and a half to Alex's. She plugs her phone into the auxiliary cable and puts on a playlist of all the songs Alex sent her last semester, one for nearly every day they've been together.
She is giddy with excitement, and also feeling viscerally, vividly grown up: alone in a car with her hands on the wheel, the highway a ribbon of freedom taking her back to Alex.
Even then, in the last ninety minutes before she sees her, Piper's wanting Alex beside her in the passenger seat, the only thing that could make the moment better. Her pulse starts skipping out a chorus of soon soon soon as she pulls off the exit for Alex's hometown. She passes a Friendly's and wonders if it's the one where Diane Vause works. It must be; this seems like a one-restaurant-per-franchise sort of town.
The address takes her to a trailer park; she has a space number, too, but Piper isn't quite sure how to tell, and anyway Alex had just told her to look for the light blue trailer. There's no car outside, so Piper kind of awkwardly parks hers off the dirt path winding through the park.
The layout of the trailers seems mostly haphazard, and even though this is clearly a light blue trailer with (mostly dead) potted plants lining the outside, just like Alex had said, Piper's still hesitant to knock on the door. She can't be sure she didn't see another place that matches the description, so she turns off her car and gets out her cell phone, about to send a text message when the door swings open and Alex is there, grinning at her.
Piper smiles like an idiot and gets out of the car. Alex is barefoot and obviously just woke up, hair mussed and yesterday's eyeliner faded and smudged over her lashes; it's a familiar, comforting sight, and Piper practically throws herself at her, kissing her hungrily before they even say hello.
It's been nine days since they saw each other. And okay, she used to make fun of Polly and Danny for this sort of behavior, but those two weren't used to being together every day. So it's totally different.
"So," Alex says when they finally pull back to grin at each other some more. "How's sixteen feel?"
"Pretty amazing at the moment."
Her eyes flicking over Piper's shoulder, Alex smirks. "I can't believe this fucking car. Is that what you asked for?"
"No. I never thought about it enough to have a dream car in mind."
"I feel like some salesman probably told your parents this is what all teenage girls love. It's almost too adorable. "
Piper gives her new car a fond look. "I don't care how adorable it is or isn't. As long as it got me here."
Alex grins. "Good point." She tugs Piper by the front of her shirt and kisses her again, quick and sweet. "How long can you stay?"
"I didn't give my parents a specific day I'd be back. And I don't think anyone'll miss me."
Alex's eyes go soft at that. "I've missed you."
"Me, too."
Something falters in Alex's expression, all of a sudden, and she runs a nervous hand through her hair. "I, uh. Know you're probably not used to all this." Sher jerks her head a little to indicate the trailer park, and Piper's chest knots up a little; she's not used to seeing Alex embarrassed. "Wish I could say it's bigger than it looks, but...not so much."
It takes Piper a moment to figure out the right thing to say. "You're here," she tells Alex finally. "That's literally the only thing I care about."
Alex's smile turns her instantly familiar again. "I love when you get all corny."
"Hey!"
"I said I love it." She takes Piper's hand. "C'mon."
Inside, the trailer is actually bigger than Piper was expecting. Or at least, there's more to it: on one end, a small fridge and a sink with an attached stove and oven, just across from a built in table and booth. The bulk of the trailer is a living area with an old sofa and a recliner, right beside each other against one wall, across from a television that's surrounded by cluttered shelves, books and CDs and plastic storage containers stacked on every available surface. She can see a bed with red sheets set in a small compartment on the other end, flimsy wooden doors on either side.
"Here, I'll just put your bag beside the bed, Pipes" Alex tells her, but there's still something strained in her voice, and her gaze is running around the trailer like she's hoping to see it differently. Piper wishes she could figure out what to say to make her stop worrying.
So when Alex steps around the the foot of the bed, Piper drapes her arms over her shoulders. "Your mom working?"
"Yeah." The pitch of Alex's voice drops a little. "Won't be back til tonight."
Piper twists her mouth into a smirky little grin, leaning in as though to kiss Alex and then pushing her back onto the mattress instead.
Alex laughs up at her, wiggling back on the bed as Piper arches over her, shins on either side of Alex's thighs. "The place may be small," Alex teases "But this is a bigger bed than when we're used to."
Group Text, Wednesday, 1:04 pm
NICKY
[Yo "Vauseman"]
[I'm not sure if you can call it a REUNION if it's only been a week]
[and yes offense is intended]
ALEX
[Your jealousy in unattractive]
JANAE
[The fuck she talking about?]
POUSSEY
[Check Piper's insta]
JANAE
[Ah]
NICKY
[Thanks for the invite btw]
[RUDE]
JANAE
[Speak for yourself I don't want in on their sex visits]
ALEX
[Sure J? I'm not opposed to adding a third ;)]
PIPER
[DISAGREE]
ALEX
[that offer is not extended to Nicky]
NICKY
[You both wish]
PIPER
[DISAGREE x100000]
NICKY
[Hurtful.]
POUSSEY
[I was gonna say we do need to plan a meet up soon]
[but maybe I take that back, don't wanna accidentally agree to an orgy]
JANAE
[Pipe you get a car for the bday?]
PIPER
[Yeah.]
JANAE
[So we're good to meet up. I probably need some notice so I can get dibs on the car instead of my sisters]
ALEX
[Uh no car for me, rich kids]
JANAE
[I SHARE a car calm down]
NICKY
[So we'll all go to Vause.]
POUSSEY
[Sure that's super close for me anyway]
PIPER
[I can give her a ride anywhere though]
[Plus Nicky I thought we were going to your lake house or something.]
NICKY
[Oooh right. It is always empty. Pick a weekend bitches.]
Alex glances over at Piper; they're lying beside each other on the bed, phones in their hands. "Thank you for that."
"Sure," Piper says easily, not an ounce of pity in her expression. "Although invite 'em to stay here if you want. We can all just share the bed, since you basically offered up an orgy anyway."
"Nah." Alex grins, rolling onto her side and slinging a leg between Piper's, easing her thighs apart again. "I was just kidding. I like all my focus to be on you."
"Good. Cause I really don't wanna share."
"What do you feel like for dinner?" Alex asks after they've spent an entirely lazy day in bed, making out and having sex, going back and forth between naked and half dressed, the laptop alternately on the bed playing episodes of The Office and slid off the mattress onto Piper's open suitcase. "My mom's off in a few hours, we can pick something up before she gets home."
Piper thinks for a second. "Or we could cook."
Alex laughs lightly. "Really?"
"Yeah, why not? I don't have a huge repertoire, but I know some stuff."
"Don't mean to doubt you. I've just only ever witnessed your microwave skills."
They ride to the grocery store, and Piper spends the ride reciting her culinary specialties. They decide on baked ziti, salad, and garlic bread, and at the cashier, Piper insists it's her treat.
Alex frowns, uneasy at the firmness of the offer. "Pipes, you know I have money. Just because you've seen my place doesn't mean you have to suddenly pay for everything - "
"I know that," Piper gives her an impatient look. "But I'm a guest, okay? I want to impress your mom."
Alex rolls her eyes, but she feels less defensive. "She already likes you."
"She hasn't actually met me yet, though. Don't want to take any chances." She rattles a box of pasta before adding it to the conveyor belt. "Hence the food."
Alex starts smiling in spite of herself. She bites it back. "I just hope the oven works. Genuinely not sure if it's been used in the last year or two."
Piper looks from the full bags of groceries to Alex, expression mildly horrified, and Alex can't help but laugh at her.
The oven works, fortunately. Piper puts Alex on salad duty; "And garlic bread!," she insists cheerfully, like Alex is a five year old who won't catch onto the fact that her "job" is just lining frozen bread on a pan.
Alex texts Diane an hour before her shift ends: don't bring home food, we got dinner covered.
Alex also puts herself in charge of music, and the kitchen fills up with Florence + the Machine. Piper's wearing one of Alex's shirts and her own pair of bowling shoes, and she sings while she cooks.
It all feels very adult and domestic, especially when Alex pours them both glasses of white wine and assures Piper her mother won't care.
After awhile headlights flood light through the trailer, and Alex glances out the window to watch her mom's shitty car pulling in beside Piper's gleaming new one, and for some reason that is what starts Alex's nerves jangling.
Piper twists around from the stove and it looks like she's trying on different facial expressions, a quick succession of poised but nervous smiles. Alex puts a hand between her shoulder blades, smiles reassuringly through her own anxiety.
They probably look ridiculous, posed at the oven and staring at the door, but Diane makes everything easy, breezing into the door with a smile that's warm and safe. "What the hell, kid, this doesn't smell like your takeout specialty." Her eyes move to the kitchen and widen in hyperbolic surprise. "We have an oven? Since when?"
They both laugh too much considering Alex made the same joke earlier, and then Diane's grin eases into something soft as she approaches Piper. "Bout time we met in person, Pipe."
"Hi, Ms - Diane." Piper stumbles endearingly over the first name, and she awkwardly holds out a hand. "Thanks for letting me stay."
Diane waves away the handshake and pulls her in for a hug. "None of that, Piper...we've texted enough, I think we're at this level."
Alex frowns. "When did you text?"
"Your concussion," they both answer, practically in sync, and Alex grins big at the sight of the two of them as her mom pulls away from Piper and winks. "This smells fuckin' amazing. Tell me you cooked it."
"Alex made the salad," Piper says loyally.
"Well, feel free to stay and spoil me all summer...or at least until you can teach Al how to do this." She pauses, looking at her daughter with smirking eyes. "So, all summer."
Piper laughs, and Alex meets her mom's eyes, feeling like a little kid on her rare good days at school, after a whole afternoon of waiting for Diane to get home so she could show off a red 100 on her spelling test or the one time she received an invitation to a birthday party.
Look, Mom, her eyes are saying, so damn pleased with herself and the way her life is right now, so eager to share it. Look who picked me.
The way Diane smiles back, all gentle and knowing, shows that she understands: her daughter is a heap of adoration for this girl, and that's the most important thing she needs to know.
The three of them sit close in the booth seat of the kitchenette, eating and drinking wine, and Alex's mom doesn't talk to them with the polite distance of a parent, but something about being around her mom still makes Alex seem younger. She transforms unmistakably into a daughter, Diane's kid, all glowing adulation. It feels like a welcome final piece to Piper knowing all of her.
She can't imagine the reverse is true; there is nothing true Alex would learn from seeing Piper around her parents.
She likes Diane a lot, though. She's pretty like Alex, funny and foul-mouthed and effortlessly welcoming, talking to Piper like they're old friends.
After dinner, they move over to the living room, Alex and Piper on the couch, Diane in the recliner, and Diane smiles warmly at Piper and asks, "Pipe, did Alex show you what she got me for Christmas?"
"I don't think so."
Diane reaches behind the chair and grabs an acoustic guitar leaning against the wall. "Hadn't touched one 'a these since high school, can you believe her?" She looks at Alex and shakes her head in fond exasperation. "Remember maybe three goddamn songs..."
"I printed you out so many tabs," Alex insists.
Diane starts strumming on the guitar; she doesn't sing, just quietly, barely hums, but after a moment Piper recognizes the song anyway, the Joni Mitchell one about clouds. It shows up sometimes on Alex's quiet, study session playlists, and Piper always thought it seemed out of place with most of her music.
She turns to Alex in recognition, and Alex fits herself against Piper's side, her smile settling into this heart snatching contentment that Piper can't look away from.
Diane leaves around nine for a late night shift somewhere else, thanking Piper for the dinner a bunch of times and telling Alex, "You two take the bed tonight, kay babe?"
When she's gone, Alex tilts a smile at Piper. "She likes you."
Delight sweeps through her chest. "Yeah?"
"Mmm-hmmm." Her hand is tangled up in Piper's hair, it feels so damn good. Piper leans a little more of her weight against Alex and her eyes move over the guitar, now sitting in Diane's spot on the recliner. There's something almost painfully sweet about Alex buying that for her mom.
After awhile, Alex looks down at Piper and bites her lip. "Hey. I have your birthday present."
Piper smiles, kind of can't believe there's more. "Okay."
Alex stands up, reaching behind some books and pulling out a small wrapped box. "I don't know if it's...I'm not really good at gifts."
Piper nods at the guitar. "Your mom would probably disagree."
"Yeah, well. She's easy. She never buys anything just for herself." She sits back on the couch. "Anyway...here. Happy birthday, Pipes."
Alex's sixteenth birthday had fallen during the strange, awkward time between them, so Piper had just gone in on a Birthday Basket with the others, a mix of gag gifts (flasks disguised as tampons, a reusable solo cup, and a truly horrifying lollipop the packaging referred to as a "Pussy Licker"), and decent ones (a movie theater giftcard, a novel).
So she's not sure what to expect here. The box is so small, and her fingers tear almost nervously at the tight wrapping paper.
Inside the small white box is a necklace: thin and delicate silver chain, and at the end, a deep red charm of Dorothy's ruby slippers.
"Because of the first night we kissed," Alex explains needlessly.
"Yeah..." Piper breathes, her eyes tearing over for some stupid reason, because she already knows, that fast, that she's going to wear this every day, this tiny tribute to the best day of her life, and maybe it will make her as brave as she had been that night, brave as being with Alex makes her feel almost always. "I love it, Alex."
She goes to put it on, and Alex reaches out to help. "You do?"
She nods fervently, knocking Alex's hands off balance in her attempt to clasp the necklace, and they both laugh before Piper kisses her.
The next day they take Piper's car and switch off driving. They stop at a shitty gas station and buy slushies and just set off directionless, blasting music and rolling down the windows, basking in summer freedom and each other.
Piper stains her teeth and tongue Blueberry Blaster blue and winds her fingers around her necklace, smiling just to herself while Alex drives and drums her palms on the steering wheel. Her singing terrible and loud but the song is perfect.
In the early afternoon Alex pulls the car over at the end of a narrow street surrounded by woods. She twists around, critically surveying the backseat of Piper's car. "Should have asked your parents for a roomier vehicle, Pipes. We have a teenage rite of passage to complete, and this clown car's not gonna help."
They manage anyway, and fifteen minutes later they're contorted between seats when Alex comes hard with Piper's fingers inside her.
Alex has to work that night, so Piper goes with her to the bowling alley. "Don't wear your bowling shoes. I'll rent you ones for free, but. Better not arouse suspicion."
It's kind of funny, Alex in her black polo and a nametag, doing a job that doesn't mean providing illegal substances to the underage. She tells Piper she can go bowl for free, but it's no fun by herself so she just stays close to Alex, bold and proud every time Alex introduces her to her mostly college aged coworkers as her girlfriend.
Spare Room Bowling Alley is obviously a very chill work environment, and no one cares that Piper sits on top of the counter Alex's whole shift, save for when Alex sends her over to the refreshment stand for free food. They share a plate of disgustingly good cheese fries.
It's a steady crowd, but Alex's job is pretty easy - renting out shoes, assigning lanes - and she still has more downtime than not. They play Slap Jack and Speed on the counter beside the register, and Alex sighs loudly at customers who interrupt a game when she's winning.
A group of teenagers around their age come in at about ten o'clock, five guys and three girls, and spread themselves out over two lanes. Most of them give Alex nods or muttered hey's of recognition when she hands them their shoes, and it takes Piper a second to pick up to tightness of her jawline, a slight wariness in her eyes.
It's all fine until the last girl gets her shoes and gives Alex a huge fake smile. "Thanks so much, Pigsty."
Alex keeps the neutral, bored employee expression set on her face until the girl turns, and then it slips away, her eyes narrowing in loathing.
"Who the hell was that?" Piper asks, already offended on Alex's behalf.
"Jessica Wedge before there was Jessica Wedge," Alex mutters before turning to face her. "Middle school mean girl."
"Bitch," Piper declares feelingly. She remembers what Alex had said to her after her soccer injury, when she'd claimed Janae had been mean to her, and offers, "Want me to go kick her ass?"
That coaxes a grin out of Alex, but it quickly turns grim and determined, a wartime smile. "Nah, I have other methods." She nods for Piper to come stand beside her, in front of the main monitor. She pulls up the scoring for the lane Mean Girl is on. After a second, her name is entered in as the second bowler: Gabby.
It takes awhile, but Alex is patient, and in the third frame, Gabby gets a spare, resulting in audible squealing and cheers from their lane.
Calmly, Alex erases the score.
They wait a second, eyes on the group, Gabby craning her neck up at the monitor. "What the hell?"
Piper smothers a laugh against Alex's shoulder, and Alex smirks but tells her, "Give it a second."
Sure enough, Gabby comes stomping over. "Yeah, hi, the little scoring thing isn't showing my spare."
"Which lane are you on?" Alex asks.
"Five."
"One second..." Alex moves her eyes onto the monitor, the lane already pulled up. She waits. "Doesn't say that you've gone yet."
"Well, I did, and I got a spare."
"Says it's your turn now, so if you just go bowl - "
"I'm not giving up those points!"
Alex makes an awkward sort of face. "Is your Thursday night bowling score, like...super fucking important in your life? For some reason?"
Piper chokes back a laugh, and Gabby's eyes slide to her for the first time. "Who are you?"
She moves a little closer to Alex, still relishing the anonymity of all these strangers, as Alex answers, "She's my girlfriend. From boarding school."
Surprise and distaste flicker across the other girl's face. "Look, can you fix my score or not?"
"Sorry." Alex shrugs apologetically. "It'd throw off everyone else's scoring. You're just gonna have to re-roll."
Gabby scowls and flounces away in a huff.
Alex grins. "Hope she gets an actual strike at some point...though she'll probably start to suspect something after that."
The bowling alley closes at eleven, and Alex and two other employees are assigned to close up, but after about half an hour of cleaning, Alex waves the others off early, saying she'll take care of the rest.
This is apparently common practice, because they only grin and tell her to have fun.
"There's a whole bag of tokens under the counter," says the hipster looking guy who's been manning the arcade station all night. "Just know if you win tickets that way you can't redeem them for prizes."
"Sure thing, Chris," Alex calls after him as he leaves. As soon as he's out of earshot, she turns to Piper. "Screw that. I'm winning you that giant giraffe, babe. Not going home until I do."
Piper laughs. "Or we could just take it."
"No way, Pipes. I want to feel the rush of victory. I just don't want to pay money for that rush." She flashes a grin. "So should we bowl a game?"
They do. Alex isn't great, considering the expertise implied by her job, but Piper is terrible. Alex puts the bumpers up for her after the second frame of gutter balls, and by the halfway point starts letting Piper start halfway down the lane, laughing at her the whole time.
There's one of those computerized jukeboxes, and Alex keeps feeding quarters from the refreshment stand tip jar into it and picking songs, so soon they're showing off and dancing on the lanes like idiots while Robyn plays. They play two games, and Piper loses both spectacularly in spite of all the handicaps Alex offers.
"Okay, arcade time," Alex declares when they're done. "Maybe you an earn back some pride..."
The bag of tokens under the prize counter turns out to be huge, so Alex grabs plastic cups from the refreshment stand and they duck them into the bag, filling them with coins.
She's kind of serious about the giraffe, so Alex sticks to the machines with jackpots and big ticket wins for awhile, even though Piper keeps whining for her to stop and come play air hockey.
But Alex is determined and hunched over one of those Cyclone games with the plastic dome, a light darting around in a circle while Alex poises her hand over the Storm Stopper button. With the comforting knowledge that it's costing her nothing, Alex stays there playing for almost fifteen minutes until she finally succeeds in stopping the light between the jackpot arch.
Piper is unimpressed, so Alex cheers for herself and takes a video on her phone of the seemingly endless stream of tickets (456 total) spitting out of the machine.
"Now will you come play me in air hockey?"
Alex raises an eyebrow. "What is this? Are you weirdly good at air hockey or something?" She turns around, leaning back against the game and pulling Piper toward her. "You know if you're some sort of air hockey champ, you have to tell me."
Piper huffs out a laugh. "Why? It's not like being a cop."
Alex feigns shock. "Are you a cop?"
She smirks. "How fucked would you be if I was?"
"Shit, you are, aren't you? Jesus, Pipes, you're a total 21 Jump Street style narc!" Grinning, Alex puts her hands on Piper's hips and pulls her even closer. "Except you fell for me, the badass criminal, and I turned you onto the dark side of dorm room dealing."
Piper's laughing over her, and she leans her forehead against Alex's and says, "Well, you better keep convincing me not to turn you in," just before Alex kisses her.
Piper crushes her in air hockey.
Three times.
Competition heats up after that.
Alex wins at the arcade basketball game:
"Not fair, you're taller than me."
"Whatever, the hoop's like six feet off the ground!"
But Piper dominates at skeeball:
"Do you want to maybe step up on the lanes, it might help you out to just drop them in."
"Least I don't need bumpers."
"Because you're terrible even without gutters."
They leave tickets trailing from just about every machine in the arcade, and Alex's visual estimate determines they probably have enough for the giant giraffe.
That done, they give up the more competitive games and play Hit Me With Your Best Shot on the arcade version of Guitar Hero, and even though there aren't microphones they sing at the top of their lungs, and then Alex drags Piper over to Dance Dance Revolution.
"I kinda can't believe we're not drunk right now," Alex laughs breathlessly after about three songs. Piper grins at her and promptly leaves her half of the game, stepping between Alex's pink and blue arrows and pressing herself close while Alex leans around her to feed more tokens for another song.
Piper twines her arms around Alex's neck and they dance closer than they ever did at school dances to some bizarre remix of a Cher song. Their score is terrible, and at some point Alex just leans against the arched poles on the back of the game and pulls Piper into her.
She keeps slipping her hands under the hem of Piper's shirt, and she's thinking of pulling it off completely when Piper suddenly moves away, her face lit up with a wild sort of smile. "Where do you wanna go to college?"
Confused, Alex makes a face. "You sure know how to kill a mood, kid."
Piper swats her arm, pushing her lower lip out, almost pouty. "I'm serious, Alex. What's your top pick?"
She sighs, impatient. "You know I need a scholarship, Pipes. So if I go...I gotta go wherever offers me money."
"You'll get a scholarship," Piper tells her, so damn confident. "And listen...I wanna go where you go."
A surprised laugh flutters out of Alex's throat, and she shakes her head a little. "What? Piper - "
"I mean it. C'mon, Al, you got a full ride to Litch, your grades are awesome...you'll get a scholarship somewhere good." Piper's eyes are big and roving Alex's face, searching for excitement. She keeps talking, a rush of words and hope, "I don't know what I want to study anyway, so it's not like I'll be looking for schools with a specific program - "
"Pipes, it's still two years away -"
" - and I've never had a dream school in mind anyway. But I know I wanna be with you." She smiles crookedly, eyes shining with dreams and futures so bright and beautiful that Alex can feel a spark trying to catch in her own chest. "C'mon. What are we supposed to do? Graduate and room with other people? What fun would that be?"
"You're right," Alex says softly, tucking a strand of Piper's hair behind her ear. She likes following the thread of this conversation backwards; one moment they were dancing and making out in an empty bowling alley, and the next Piper's trying to secure their future. Like she just had to stop and make sure they get to keep this. "That would suck."
It's almost three in the morning when they drive home, the stuffed giraffe riding in the backseat of the car. Piper drives, with Alex sitting in the passenger seat recklessly flinging herself down the rabbit hole Piper dug for them: past college dorms to off campus apartment buildings and holding Piper's hand on some green university quad, to diplomas and careers and maybe even Piper with a ring on her finger.
For just a few minutes, driving empty open roads and Neko Case playing quiet on the radio and their hands tangled over the center console, everything seems breathlessly possible.
Piper stays at Alex's for five days before her dad texts and asks - in that way that isn't really asking - when she's coming home. Luckily, they've settled on a trip to Nicky's lake house in a few weeks, so leaving Alex doesn't have to feel that dramatic.
Her last night there, Diane works late again, and Piper and Alex make out on the couch for awhile, directionless and lazy, keeping their clothes on like it's some sort of challenge.
Later, when they're curled around each other and flipping through the television without much luck, Alex suddenly stops and glances over at her with sudden purpose. "Can I show you something?"
Piper's not sure what that means, but she nods, and Alex moves away from her laptop and toward a shelf full of CDs surrounding an outdated CD/tape player.
Alex grabs one and carefully takes the disc out before closing the case and bringing it over to Piper.
It's a 90's grunge band, one of those ones everyone's heard of because of one or two hit songs that persist even a few decades later. Alex points at one of the long, stringy haired men on the band photo on the inside cover, the one holding drumsticks. "So, that's my dad."
Piper gives Alex a startled look, stupidly blurting out, "Really?"
All Piper knows about Alex's dad is that she's never met him, he and Diane weren't together very long when Diane was seventeen and got pregnant, and that Alex had sounded entirely casual when she told Piper that.
"Yeah. He was the drummer. Mom met him at a concert and he took her on tour for a few months." Alex's voice is a strange mingling of pride and self consciousness.
"You never told me," Piper says, kind of quiet.
"Yeah, sorry. I just..." Alex laughs a little, embarrassed. "I know it's kind of weird. Since I've never met him. But Mom never makes it sound like he was a jerk or anything...I just don't think they were that serious. She says it was so fucking cool on tour, though."
"I bet," Piper murmurs absently, but she's not really sure how that works. Mainly the part where Diane has at least two different jobs and lives in a trailer park even though Alex's dad was some rich famous rock star.
With, if Piper's remembering I Love the 90's correctly, some sort of drug problem.
Alex goes back to the CD player and turns on a song. "I don't listen to them much anymore, honestly, but I loved this one when I was a kid. Dad wrote it, actually..."
Something about that, the way she says Dad like he's a person she knows, pangs hard in Piper's chest.
Alex settles back on the couch beside her, and Piper plays absently with her hair. There's a feeling scratching at the walls of her chest that reminds her of that day at Alex's soccer game, her on the field looking small and hurt, nothing Piper could do to stop it.
She presses her lips to the top of Alex's head, and Alex tilts her neck to smile at her, fastening her hand to Piper's chin and easing her down to kiss. Piper pulls away after just a few moments of that, smiling sheepish. "Um, I don't know if I can make out with you with your, uh, father's band playing."
Alex laughs. "Good call. That's kinda just asking for therapy."
Text Message, Monday, 2:51 pm
PIPER
[Hey just got home.]
ALEX
[Thanks for texting.]
[Miss me yet?]
PIPER
[No.]
[But Neck does. He's being a total baby about it.]
ALEX
[You named the giraffe Neck?]
PIPER
[Cute right?]
ALEX
[Wrong.]
[Sounds like the name of a gangster in a bad mob movie]
[Like one who strangles people.]
PIPER
[Shit.]
[It does.]
Group Text Message, ten days later
NICKY
[Vause you're in charge of booze etc. for this trip right?]
ALEX
[I figured all your residences would be stocked with wine cellar/liquor cabinet/etc]
[i.e. basic amenities]
NICKY
[Possible but mother's preferred the beach house for years, not even sure the last time anyone checked the lake.]
JANAE
[Shit why aren't WE going to the beach house]
[Lake water's nasty]
POUSSEY
[You saying the oceans clean?]
NICKY
[Beach house is in a resort area where the security actually gives a shit]
[they bust parties constantly]
[Lake house there's a ton of private property, no one will bother us]
PIPER
[Is it just me or does that sound like the beginning of a horror movie]
ALEX
[100%]
[No one around for miles...]
[to hear our screams]
PIPER
[lol]
JANAE
[at least your girlfriend laughs at your jokes]
NICKY
[hahahaha]
ALEX
[and at least NICKY laughs at yours]
[I feel like you have more to be embarrassed about]
NICKY
[are you bringing booze or not asshole]
ALEX
[Fine I'll save the day as always]
POUSSEY
[And none of those jacked up prices]
ALEX
[I don't jack up prices for you guys]
[...much]
Nicky's family lake house is the expected level of luxury, a sprawling house with a stone exterior for a faux rustic look, floor to ceiling glass windows, a wraparound porch, six bedrooms plus a fully finished walkout basement that leads outside and right down to the pier. The front of the house not facing the lake is surrounded by trees, giving it the feel of a private hideaway, while the backyard includes a boathouse that's bigger than Alex's whole trailer.
"There's one bedroom in the basement," Nicky announces when they walk in. "I'm assigning that to Mister and Missus Comes-Alot."
Alex raises an eyebrow in mock offense. "Mister?"
"That's incredibly hetero-normative, Nicky," Piper informs her primly, cracking everyone but Nicky up.
"I was going for pithy, but fine...The Missus Comes-Alots can sleep in the basement so we don't have to hear them."
"Good call," Janae mutters.
That night, Alex lifts her head from between Piper's legs, wet lips crooking into a mischievous smirk. "Feel free to be as loud as possible."
The next day passes in a good seven or eight hour haze of sunburned summer glory.
They take the jet skis out and Piper presses against Alex's back, arms tight and trusting around her waist, both of them sticky with sunscreen and sweat, hair thick and stringy from lake water. They swap places so Piper can drive; her hair's twisted up on top of her head, so Alex leans forward and sucks a slow, patient hickey into the side of her throat that makes Piper giggle and hum.
They have beers that turn lukewarm too quickly, drinking lightly but steadily throughout the day so the buzz is a constant hum in their blood, pleasant and sloshing like the lake water. They line drinks up along the very edge of the pier and turn Marco Polo into a drinking game, somehow.
When they get out of the water and pad into the house, trailing wet footprints into the kitchen to make sandwiches for lunch, Piper touches a finger to Alex's shoulder, pressing a pale white circle amid the pink. "You're already kinda burning, make sure to reapply before we go out."
Poussey lets out a throaty, scoffing laugh. "Y'all sound like an elderly couple on a retirement cruise."
Nicky flicks the side of Piper's neck, making her yelp. "Yet Chapman's hickey is straight outta middle school."
Back outside, Nicky attaches an inflatable raft about forty feet behind one of the jet skis and they take turns driving and being dragged, two at a time. Piper's half on top of Alex on the raft when it's their turn, and at one point Janae cuts the jet ski too sharp and Piper's hands grip on the slippery skin of Alex's back, scrambling for something to cling, too, and she ends up nearly pulling her bikini top down.
Alex smirks sideways at her. "Sneaky."
They all share a joint mid-afternoon, and afterwards Piper and Alex slip under the pier, making out slow and stoned between slits of light filtering through the wood, all spinning ebb and flow, kissing and being kissed, until the others, in an obviously coordinated move, start stomping their feet directly above them.
No one can decide on a movie to watch during dinner, everyone's film taste clashing too much, so they end up deliberately picking a terrible one, pulling up Netflix on the giant flatscreen and scrolling through the horrible made for television rom coms. They pick some ABC Family Christmas thing, and make up a drinking game as they go, drinking wine one sip at a time, so everyone's pretty drunk by the time they head to the basement.
The bedroom Piper and Alex are sharing is set off to the side of a huge game room, equipped with yet another flatscreen monstrosity, pool and ping pong tables, a poker table, and a closet full of games. They take the net off the ping pong table and set up pyramids of solo cups. Alex and Piper prove an adept beer pong team, defeating every combination of Nicky, Poussey, and Janae. They're all sore losers, Janae especially, and so they vote a switch to flip cup just because they know Alex sucks at it.
Later, they peruse the game closet, with a tacit understanding that it's probably time to take a break from drinking - or, at least, game mandated drinking - and pull out a Twister mat. The five of them rotate in and out, one person always on spinner. The game Alex is spinning ends up with Piper crab sprawled across the mat, and "Left hand on yellow" puts Nicky's hand right between Piper's knees. She makes a poor attempt at wiggling her eyebrows at Alex. "Get over here and join us, Vause, and the three of us could have a real party."
Stone faced, Alex intones severely, "Left hand on blue."
"You didn't even spin."
"Fine." She flicks the spinner, waits for it to stop. "Ooh, player specific. Pipes, right foot in Nicky's face."
Twister ends shortly after that.
Janae brought a set of Jenga with her, and when she breaks it out Nicky nods at the well stocked game closet. "Pretty sure we have that."
"Not like this you don't," she insists, tossing a tiny wooden block at Nicky. They all crowd around to see what she means: it's Sharpie scrawled with Dare: blindfolded shot.
Turns out the whole set marked, so when they build up the Jenga tower, whichever block is pulled out during a turn has a truth or dare. Nicky and Poussey are on the couch, Janae, Piper and Alex on their knees on the carpet, surrounding the coffee table where the tower looms.
Alex goes first, pulling out a block from the bottom marked Dare: Kiss Someone in the circle.
Everyone groans. "Like we don't see enough 'a that," Janae gripes.
Alex smirks, turning to meet Piper's gaze right beside her. She's been drunk and handsy for the last hour, not even in a particularly suggestive way, just seeking constant contact, hand gliding absently across Alex's forearm, or gently walking her fingers the length of Alex's spine, sometimes just pulling at her shirt for no reason at all.
Alex leans toward Piper, but swerves at the last second and ostentatiously grabs Janae's face in her hands. Poussey and Nicky whoop in delight, and Janae shrieks and squirms away from her so Alex's lips collide quite forcibly with her cheek.
When she pulls back, smirking smugly, Piper's the only one not laughing, her face folded in an adorably grumpy expression, and Alex eases her smirk into a smile and hooks a finger around the neck of Piper's T-shirt. "Bonus," she murmurs with a wink before pulling her in for a real kiss, keeping it up despite the ensuing boos until she feels Piper laugh against her lips.
Poussey brings the tower down with a block labeled Dare: Act out giving birth, but they declare her more winner than loser for her masterful performance, sunk into the back couch cushions with her legs in the air, screaming out a litany of obscenties at an imaginary father - "FUCK YOU DARIUS! FUCK YOU AND YOUR PENIS FOR UNLEASHING THIS HELL!" - until they're all cracking up. Piper's slumped into Alex's side, boneless from laughter, and Nicky sloshes half her beer onto the couch and flings what's left at Janae for making fun of her, and for a second Alex feels bowled over by how much she loves these idiots.
"Truth or dare, Pipes," she asks later, dizzy and drunk and rolling her hips down against Piper's, pinning her tighter to the bed.
Piper licks her lips, eyes bright and gleeful. "Dare," she answers, correctly.
Alex grins, takes her wrists and pins them above her head. "No hands."
"Truth or dare," Piper whispers even later still.
"Truth," Alex says softly. She's plastered against Piper's side, the two of them taking up twin sized space even in the queen sized bed.
It takes Piper awhile to follow up, like she didn't even have anything in mind. Finally, she just asks, "What are you thinking about?"
Alex smiles into her collarbone. "Thinking that I love you," she tells her, the words like a sigh, just on the edge of sleep. "I'm always thinking that."