Note: This chapter is a bit choppy, since it's only the beginning and I am trying to get to the good stuff quickly. Hopefully it won't annoy anyone. (Also: thanks to everyone who gave love to the prologue!)

Published on: 07/29/2012
Corrected on: 11/14/2015

Chapter 1

"Hey!"

Who?... It sounded from so far away…

Cloud came back to himself, dazed. Everything hurt and he barely heard himself groan.

"Cloud! Talk to me!"

That's right, that voice, it was Zack. The SOLDIER First Class he had befriended on the way here.

The thought sent a strange ripple through his mind and he realized with a start that Rain was awake.

'Zack? You know him already?'

"Cloud!"

They both sounded so worried, suddenly, that he didn't know which one to answer first. He concentrated on pushing on his arms, tried to stand, and flopped right back down on his ass. Zack was immediately there, reaching for him, and as Cloud's eyes landed on his face, he felt Rain's anxiety increase tenfold. He tried to stay on track.

"We're all right," he said, holding a hand to stop his friend.

Because, really, it wasn't just him. It successfully diverted Zack's attention towards Tseng, who was slumped a bit further against a wall. With the SOLDIER thus occupied, Cloud was freed from having to answer two lines of inquiry at the same time. Rain now seemed hesitant, confused.

'This place is…'

Cloud let his eyes wander around the dilapidated building for his benefit.

'Modeoheim. I was sent on a mission here, as support for catching that First Class SOLDIER Genesis something and the scientist guy who defected with him.'

'That's right. That's when I… you… met Zack…'

He stopped mid-sentence and Cloud felt his attention switch to the words that a wounded Tseng was muttering to Zack.

"… catch Hollander. Angeal… is waiting for you."

Oh yeah, Angeal, the man who had knocked both Tseng and Cloud down without breaking a sweat.

When they had found Genesis, Zack had stayed behind to fight him while Cloud and Tseng had chased that Hollander guy, the scientist, but they had been intercepted. Cloud had been too surprised by the wings on the guy's back—the wings!—to really feel insulted at being beaten so easily, especially when the Turk ate the ground too. Still, he hadn't tried to kill them, which was always nice.

The humour was lost on Rain, whose mind he could feel whirring so fast he was starting to get nervous himself. A few monsters showed up out of nowhere, and before Cloud could muster the energy to haul his exhausted and aching body to his feet, Zack took care of them. SOLDIER… They were really something…

Tseng convinced Zack to go on without them, and with a last worried glance, the First Class disappeared through a doorway.

'No!'

Cloud started, earning a tired peek from Tseng. It was the first time he had ever heard Rain so alarmed, apart maybe from that disaster in the Shinra Mansion.

'Cloud, you have to follow him! Hurry!'

'But…'

'Something terrible will happen to Zack if you don't… if only I could remember… Cloud, you have to hurry!'

Something terrible, and to Zack? That was enough to get him moving. He barely knew the guy, but damn it, he liked him. He never thought before meeting him that a SOLDIER could be so friendly to a mere infantryman.

Tseng frowned at him as he staggered with difficulty to his feet.

"What are you doing?"

"Zack…" he gasped. "Have to help him…"

"I doubt you'd be of much use to him, even if you were in perfect health," Tseng answered, and managed to sit. "You saw what Angeal…"

"Angeal!"

The name produced a reaction from Rain. Cloud nearly tumbled to the ground under the onslaught of a massive headache. Whatever Rain was trying to remember, he was trying too hard, but Cloud didn't dare protest. It was obviously very important.

'Never met him… Why did I never meet him? And the sword, the sword…'

Their thoughts intertwined until Cloud barely knew what he was saying anymore.

"Have to go… Angeal might… do something terrible…"

Tseng watched him with a piercing gaze as he made his way to the door, but he didn't try to stop him. Rain's intuition, whatever it was, suddenly coalesced into something whole, cold and hard like a blade, which he kept to himself with grim determination. Freed of the weight of his thoughts, Cloud breathed easier and focused on forcing his battered body to jog.

His ribs protested while he was picking his way through the decaying rooms and catwalks, and on one occasion he had to duck out of the way of wandering monsters. Thankfully, Rain always seemed to make a better use of his senses than he did himself and he had noticed them in time to avoid them. Following the trail of monster corpses Zack had left in his wake was easy enough, but Cloud still chafed at how slow he was—he had already disappointed Rain once; this time, there was no way he was letting Rain and Zack down! Even if he had to run on rusty pipes clinging shakily to a wall a dozen of meters above the ground… but he sure felt better once back on stable land.

'There! Do you hear that?'

Cloud listened, and sure enough, faint voices were coming from up ahead. And as he was heading there, a shout.

"Stop it!"

Cloud ran… As he emerged in a large room, as unkempt and void of furniture as the rest of the building, he was just on time to see four large creatures land behind Zack and the plump man he recognized as Professor Hollander while Angeal just stood there, impassive. His first instinct was to help his friend, but Rain stopped him.

'Cloud, your voice! Quick, repeat what I say!'

Hollander jumped on Angeal, shouting something desperate about a sample. The ex-SOLDIER easily pushed him back, but in the split second it gave him before the beasts pounced (and if that happened all was lost, lost, he kept hearing from Rain), Cloud found his breath.

"Angeal Hewley, you coward!"

All froze. Cloud felt himself blush under their combined stares. The monsters had stopped mid-pounce, looking confused as the order they were waiting for didn't come. Because they were here to obey, he realized as some of Rain's mysterious knowledge finally trickled through. To obey Angeal, but not to harm Zack…

"Cloud?" Zack shouted, as his eyes fleeted nervously between the infantryman and the beasts.

Angeal gratified him with an unimpressed look.

"I thought I had made it clear this was private business."

Cloud alone would have blushed all the more and stammered, but Rain's anger was beginning to seep through too, and his words came out loud and clear.

"Private? And what about all the people you're trying to leave behind?"

Hollander had made it back to his feet and was trying to sneak behind the winged SOLDIER. Angeal seized him by the throat and sent him flying back against a wall, hard enough that he lost consciousness and crumpled to the ground.

"What do you pretend to know, that you'd dare to interfere?" he growled, calm façade beginning to crack. "You know nothing."

"I know you intend to fuse with these copies—"

The strange word slipped easily through his lips, like he knew what he was talking about. Copies? He thought only Genesis had those.

"—to force Zack to fight and kill you. Am I wrong?"

"What?" Zack yelled, startled. "Angeal, what?"

The man didn't answer, gaze set on Cloud.

"I won't repeat myself. Whatever you think you know, this is none of your business. Get out."

Cloud stubbornly held his place, glaring right back. He was beginning to understand what was going on, especially since Zack seemed more worried than angry. This Angeal guy was trying to get a friend to kill him, and that made him just as furious as Rain. What sort of friend did that?

His only warning came from Rain; he ducked and rolled to the ground. Above him came the sound of clashing blades. He looked up to see Zack and Angeal locked in a silent stand-still where his head had been a second before. He blanched.

"I merely intended to knock him down," Angeal said.

"I know," Zack answered, and that simple statement did a lot to prove to Cloud that Angeal was a really good friend of Zack. "But so far he's the only one who has said anything that makes sense in this madness. Angeal, what about the people you'd leave behind? What about me? How could you try to get me to do that?"

Angeal scoffed and disengaged his blade.

"You're strong, Zack. You don't need me. And like I said, there is someone waiting for you, isn't there?"

The beasts were creeping closer. Cloud latched back on the angry words bubbling from Rain's mind.

"And what about Sephiroth?"

Angeal looked at him like he was crazy.

"Sephiroth is the last person who'd need me."

"You can't…!"

He jumped to his feet. He could feel that Rain was so angry he was nearly out of words.

'… because of him and the other… so much waste… you complete moron!'

"You are blind!" he exploded. "So blind! Who else does Sephiroth has? You two were the only ones! And it didn't occur to you that he might be like you, too? That he would suffer for it, too? Would you recommend he find someone to run a sword through him, then, just like you would?"

Angeal actually took a step back. Zack's eyebrows had climbed to his hairline.

"Uh, Cloud… What are you even saying? 'Cause Angeal and Genesis are, like, confidential stuff and there's no way Sephiroth would be… I mean that'd be crazy… and… Angeal?"

Angeal was staring at Cloud, troubled.

"No. Hollander would have bragged about it."

"Ha! Hollander!" Cloud, or rather Rain, laughed bitterly. (Because at this point, Cloud didn't really understand anymore the words he was dutifully speaking in his brother's behalf. Sephiroth was what?) "Hollander was never the one in charge of Sephiroth's physicals, was he?"

Even through a growing headache, Cloud could sense it was a shot in the dark on Rain's part, but it seemed to work. Angeal recoiled, looking grim.

"Hojo!" he muttered.

"Wait, wait!" Zack babbled. "That's only speculation, right? There's no way Cloud could know something like that, he's only a trooper. Right, Cloud? It was just a guess, huh?"

Cloud barely heard him. His headache was growing exponentially worse, and he clutched his head in his hands. He felt himself stagger, and two hands caught his arms. Someone was talking to him. Through the blackness he could feel creeping on him, he managed to push a few more words.

"Sephiroth… needs you… don't…"

And then there was nothing.

He woke up on the dirty floor of the same room. Zack was shaking him. Angeal and his copies were nowhere to be seen, but Hollander was still unconscious in a corner.

"Cloud!" Zack said, clearly relieved. "You're finally awake. Are you wounded? Hurt somewhere?"

Not any more than the last time he had awaken to his friend's face. But he let Zack fuss over him and tried to reach Rain. To his surprise, he found him awake, though exhausted. He had clearly stretched his strength trying to hold on until Cloud regained consciousness.

'What happened?'

'Not sure,' Rain answered shortly. 'Think I may have exhausted us both, bleeding my emotions over like that. Sorry.'

'Hey that's alr—'

'No it's not,' he interrupted, and that was highly unusual, testament to how little time he had before slipping under himself. 'I said too much, they're going to be curious.'

Sure enough, as soon as he ascertained that Cloud wasn't in any immediate danger, Zack's expression turned grave.

"Alright then, Cloud, listen. We've got very little time before Tseng comes looking for us. Were you serious, about Sephiroth? Do you know something Angeal and I don't?"

Cloud tried not to panic.

"No, I—I mean, it's just like you said. A guess. I mean, since Genesis and Angeal both have… uh… wings… and they and Sephiroth are the three greatest SOLDIERs in the company, right? So, it'd seem weird that the two second bests would be like that and not, you know, the first?"

That was not as convincing as he would've liked. Zack didn't really seem to be buying it, either. There was a distance in his eyes that wasn't there before and it wrenched Cloud's heart.

"Right," he drawled. "And how come you knew who was in charge of Sephiroth's physicals? And what about that attitude? How come you were all fiery-like, suddenly? Especially about… Oh."

He seemed to have an epiphany.

"Oh! You're a fan of Sephiroth, is that it? Is that why you were nearly spitting fire at Angeal?"

Well, considering he was already blushing, because he was technically sort of a fan of the man, maybe that excuse would work better.

"Huh…"

He didn't even have to say anything, his face was enough to convince Zack. The SOLDIER dissolved back into an easy grin.

"Oh man, lucky him! With that sort of fans, who needs bodyguards?"

Scowling but still blushing, Cloud gave him a good shove.

"Shut up," he muttered. "I just really look up to him, okay?"

Zack kept smiling, but Cloud knew better than to think himself off the hook. Despite seeming so laid-back, Zack was a SOLDIER; surely he was no fool. He had to know something was strange. Well, he at least looked willing to let it go for now.

As they were getting up, Cloud finally remembered to ask.

"And Angeal? Is he… will he…?"

In answer to his worried gaze, Zack gave a tired smile, and this one was completely genuine.

"He'll be fine, I think. For now, at least."

It was the only answer they were going to get, but it seemed enough. Rain finally allowed himself the stiffening oblivion of sleep.

SOLDIER exam day.

Cloud was so full of nervous energy he could suddenly understand why Zack was always doing his infamous squats while waiting for something. Standing still seemed so hard!

Zack had already come by to cheer him up and punch his shoulder a few times. He was so enthusiastic about it it actually hurt, but if Zack was right and there really was no way he could fail, then in a few days, it wouldn't matter. Zack would be able to playfully punch him as much as he wanted, Cloud would be done with the stupid bruises!

And he would not fail. No way. Rain had been helping with his training every time he was awake, and ever since they met some two months ago, Zack too had been giving him tons of pointers. He was also always trying to drag him off to eat a bite or chill out together, which was really flattering, given that the man had loads of friends, in and outside of SOLDIER. Cloud guessed Zack felt he somehow owed him for stopping Angeal from doing something stupid; it was a bit embarrassing, since that had been all Rain, but he would have had trouble explaining that. The other, grimmer option was that he was keeping an eye on him, but he didn't want to think of it.

The waiting area was full of hopeful teenagers and young men, most of which Cloud had already met during the mandatory six months training in the Shinra regular army. The candidates eyed each other warily and mostly kept to themselves. Cloud was practically vibrating in his chair.

His anticipation was so high that he managed to wake Rain, which was quite a feat. When his brother slept, he was dead to the world.

'Oh Rain!' he said before he was even fully awake. 'No pointers today, okay? I want to do this totally on my own.'

'What? Oh… That's right. The SOLDIER exam.'

He didn't sound very eager, but that was alright. Cloud was pumped up enough for two.

'Yeah. I told you it was today, remember?'

'I would have had to know today was July 10th to realize that,' Rain replied with his usual brand of dry humour. 'How is your leg?'

He had been wounded in a mission two weeks ago. He would have liked to pretend that one had never happened. He had finally been allowed to carry a real sword, not that stupid club rookies were armed with, and the mission had been a total failure.

'Not total,' Rain assured him. 'Professor Rayleigh is alright, thanks to you. You did your best. Leg?'

'It's fine, no worry. I don't think it'll give me trouble.'

Rain kept silent a few seconds. When he spoke again, he sounded uncertain.

'Cloud, don't be too disappointed if you don't make it, okay?'

'Come on! I told you I don't want to be thinking like that. I know you don't like that I want to be a SOLDIER, but it's like Zack said; I've got to give it my all and pray for the best!'

'I'm beginning to think spending so much time with Zack may not be that good for you,' Rain grumbled, which was an odd remark since he had always seemed very happy that Cloud and Zack were getting so close. 'I'm just saying…'

Just then, Cloud's name was called. He jumped to his feet and tried not to trip in his eagerness. Zack had promised he'd be watching what he could of the exam, and there'd probably be other, bored, SOLDIERs looking on. He didn't want to make a fool of himself. He took a deep breath as he approached the door.

'Later, okay? Here I go.'

Rain settled in an uneasy silence at the back of his mind.

'I was good, right? Right? Rain? I think I was good but that monster still grazed me while I was protecting the crate that was the mission objective, so maybe…'

'Cloud. Relax. You did fine. More than fine.'

Rain's clipped tone and the hint of pride in his voice did a lot to calm his frazzled nerves.

'Besides, you are still there, aren't you? Look around. There aren't that many candidates left.'

It was true. One or two guys were still coming from the simulation rooms where the last exam was taking place, but they had been called by alphabetical order, so there weren't many people behind Cloud on the list. And right now, they couldn't be more than ten in the room. That meant… that meant that there were only the physicals left to go, right? It was the last step, right?

Finally, a door in an adjacent corridor opened. Curious, Cloud leaned forward and saw a small crowd exiting a nearby room. He recognized Zack's broadsword and strong shoulders and smiled, excited. He had really been here! Right now, though, he had his back turned to Cloud as he was talking to someone behind him… and that someone…

Cloud gasped, as did a lot of the candidates around him. Sephiroth!

He was in full battle garb, the only thing missing his legendary blade, the Masamune. As the troopers looked on, awestruck, he turned his head to regard them with a piercing green gaze. Then, with a parting nod to Zack, he turned and left. Zack caught Cloud's eyes and gifted him with a knowing smile. With a wave, he too followed the parting crowd.

Cloud didn't really mind his friend's teasing, he was too busy realizing that Sephiroth, out of all people, had been watching the exam… He had always thought it would be much too boring, or even downright painful, for a SOLDIER of his standard. He had to be really dedicated!

As he was lost in his renewed admiration for the man, it took him a minute to realize that Rain had gone very, very quiet. It was not the usual sleeping quiet, though, more like he had shuttered himself so hard nothing was filtering anymore.

'Rain?...'

He came back then, though he didn't say anything, just raised his usual attentive silence. Funny how Cloud could catch the nuances so well after all these years.

'You okay?'

'Yes. Cloud, listen, about what I wanted to tell you earlier. Did you know there is a physical requirement for becoming a SOLDIER? I'm not talking about your physical condition. It's something you have never been tested for, something they are going to check right now.'

Cloud felt something heavy drop to the bottom of his stomach. A man had appeared in the room, clipboard in hand, to lead them to the end of the exam. Cloud rose and followed, all excitement gone.

'What are you saying?...'

'Just… don't be too disappointed if something goes wrong, alright? You were very good today.'

It was not so often that Rain's compliments were that straightforward. It only made him more uneasy.

'You knew!'

'Cloud…'

'You knew this was going to happen!'

'I couldn't possibly…'

'Don't lie to me. You knew! Why did you let me do this if you knew I'd fail?'

Cloud concentrated on not tearing up, despite his strong desire to bawl like a baby. Already the white walls of the infirmary were a bit blurry. Not that it couldn't have been a side-effect of whatever they injected him with that messed up his body and made him fail the SOLDIER exam. He was desperately shivering despite the blankets, he hurt everywhere, even in his bones, and his thoughts were muddled, like he was trying to walk through molasses. It was still not enough to let him forget.

'It was your right to try. I couldn't take that from you. Besides, why would you have believed me?'

'Even Zack didn't tell me you could fail at the physical. I'm the only one… The only one! Everyone else was fine! What even happened to me?'

'The J cells.'

'Huh?'

'What they injected you with. What they inject every SOLDIER with, though in bigger quantities. Most people are somewhat fine with it, when it's dosed correctly.'

'I'm not.'

'No. Your body has next to no defences against it. You couldn't possibly stand the SOLDIER injections. I'm sorry, Cloud.'

Cloud covered his eyes with his forearms to hide from the bustling nurses. He wanted to be alone, just now. Why couldn't he just be alone? He felt Rain retreat at that.

'Not you,' he said. 'Never you, Rain. But how could you even know all that? J cells? I thought the only thing they injected SOLDIERs with was diluted Mako or something.'

'That too. But you would have been fine with it. And you're right, not a lot of people outside of Shinra's elite would know about the J cells. So don't speak about it, okay?'

'But… Does that mean… you're Shinra, too?'

That was the strangest thing he had ever thought. Just thinking of Rain as a separate entity, someone who actually might have a history outside of Cloud, made next to no sense to him. Rain had always been there, as far as he could remember. Cloud would soon be fifteen, and it was only very recently that he had begun to wonder about his brother's nature. Rain's existence was unusual, that he knew, and that's why he had always hidden that there was someone invisible talking to him. But what was he, really? He had been discreet about the questions popping in his mind, worried that Rain would feel insulted or self-conscious about it…

But judging from the amusement filtering from his brother, those pesky cells were messing with his mental shields, and Rain wasn't upset with it at all.

'You could say… You could say I've been Shinra.'

That… sent his mind reeling.

Raised voices at the door prevented him from meditating on this life-changing admission. A nurse poked his head through and called to one of his colleagues:

"Visitor for Strife. He clear?"

The woman nodded without seeming to care overmuch.

'Huh? What?' Cloud thought, flummoxed.

'Probably Zack.'

Oh Gaia, Zack. He was going to be so disappointed in him! He felt himself pale and was overtaken with the desire to be somewhere else, anywhere but here.

'Stay in this bed,' Rain said firmly when he actually considered getting up. 'If I can't get it through your thick head that none of this was your fault, he will.'

Before he could take offense to that, Zack appeared, noticed him, and nearly steamrolled a nurse to get to his side. His eyes were wider than usual and he looked alarmed.

"Cloud! Oh Gaia, you alright? I didn't even know you could be allergic to that shit they give us, I swear! You feeling alright? Well, not too badly I mean?"

"I don't really think it's an allergy," he croaked, mainly because he didn't know what else to say.

He had trouble looking Zack in the eye. The SOLDIER didn't seem to notice. He commandeered a chair and sat, knee bouncing nervously.

"I'm so, so, so sorry, Spike. I swear I had no idea this sort of thing could happen. You did so well in the exam, too! Everyone in the room thought you'd be a fine SOLDIER!"

Everyone in the room… Sephiroth, too? He knew Zack was trying to cheer him up, but really, it only made him bitter. Zack quickly noticed, though.

"Oh man, sorry," he moaned. "I'm an idiot, right? It's okay, you can tell me, I know I am. Look, tell you what? As soon as you feel better, we're going to go out together, you and me. Right? You can chill and shake this nasty thing off, take a breather, before you think about what you want to do next. 'kay?"

What he wanted to do next. Of course. He had only signed for the six months probation, and now, it was all for nothing. It's not like he could go back to Nibelheim. He'd never be able to face his mother, let alone Tifa or the rest of the villagers. Maybe one day, he would… but no, not today, not so soon. He needed time, to come to terms with it. He could maybe find a job in Midgar… but he knew he'd get bored. Shinra was not perfect, far from it, but he actually felt alive, here.

So, he guessed he'd stay… right? For now, at least.

He smiled a pale smile for Zack, made an effort to look him in the face, and nodded.

"Yeah, sure. I'd like that."

Home, sweet home.

Cloud tried not to breathe too much in the corridor, where smells of sweat and puke permanently lingered. He swiped his card and the door disappeared in the wall with a tired hiss. At least, the tiny one-room apartment he called home was cleaner.

The regular army's barracks were not the most comfortable living space he had ever known, and unlike SOLDIERs' rooms they were outside of Shinra Headquarters. Still, it was free housing, he had his own apartment now that he was no longer a trainee, and it was barely a five minutes walk to work. Not too bad.

With a sigh, he carefully propped his Shinra-issued sword at its place against a wall. Just as he was removing his helmet—he hated this thing, it got way too hot when there was some action, not to mention it messed up his hair—his PHS rang. He dropped the damned helmet on his tiny bed and fished around in his pocket. He smiled at seeing the caller ID.

"Hiya, Zack."

"Hey Spike. How's it going?"

"Huh, good," he answered, a bit confused. Zack sounded nervous. "You?"

"Eeeh," the SOLDIER sighed. "Well, huh, I need a favour, Cloud. You busy?"

"I just finished at HQ. Want me to drop at yours?"

"No, I'm not there. Think you could come below Plate?"

"Below…?"

Well, that was unusual. Cloud knew Zack often went down there to see his girlfriend, whom Cloud had yet to meet, but he himself only went there on patrols. It was not a part of Midgar he was eager to visit, but if Zack needed him…

"Something wrong with your flower girl?"

"Huh? Oh, no no," Zack laughed. "It's not about Aerith. Still, you coming?"

"Yeah, of course I am. Let me just change and head to the station."

"Awesome! Thanks Spike. I'm sending you the train details by email."

"Okay, see you there."

He stripped off his uniform and put on a clean shirt and some loose pants, then strapped his sword back on. No way was he going down there without a weapon. His pocket chimed; Zack's email.

Taking the train to the under Plate Sector 5 was uneventful. Cloud climbed out and warily made his way to the platform exit, looking for Zack. He was barely out when a hand clapped on his shoulder, making him jump and nearly reach for his weapon.

"Hey," Zack said, smiling brightly. "Thanks for coming. This way!"

He let himself be dragged away, sighing in relief.

"You scared me, you idiot."

"What, thought I was a rapist or something? Don't worry, the slums aren't that bad," he laughed.

"For a SOLDIER, I'm sure they aren't."

But though Zack was happily bantering as per usual, there was something off with him.

"So, what's up?"

"In a minute Cloud, we're nearly there."

Cloud examined his surroundings with a disbelieving stare. They were in a pretty deserted area not far from the train tracks, empty streets badly lit and littered with scraps of cardboard and the odd trashcan.

"In this place?"

Zack gently pushed him in a narrow alley between two windowless walls.

"Sorry, Spike."

Cloud twisted to look at him over his shoulder, surprised. Zack's eyes had gone guilty and a bit sad.

"I wouldn't have dragged you in this mess, but I'm out of my depth here."

Before he could open his mouth to ask what was happening, he heard something land softly in the alley and twisted to look while simultaneously stepping back. Zack pressed a gentle but firm hand on his back, preventing him from backing up further.

A huge broadsword appeared under his chin and Cloud was left gulping, staring in the angry eyes of traitor Angeal Hewley.