Chapter Thirteen

Everything that changed

"But the human mind has a talent for ignoring what is inconvenient for it to notice. A built-in delete key to soften the blows of regret or guilt"-Toni Jordan

"Hermione?"

I tore my eyes away from the spot Malfoy had been barely a few moments before and watched as Harry moved up the staircase towards me.

"Speaking to me again then are you?" I couldn't keep the sardonic tone from my voice but I felt justified in using it. It was rather hard to keep up with exactly who was speaking to me these days and who wasn't.

"Katie Bell is back".

The statement sounded like a mini explosion in my ears making my head suddenly throb painfully as I cast my mind back to the incident: her silent scream, the look of horror in her eyes and the cursed necklace lying so innocently at her feet.

The snow had swirled gracefully around us as we had watched in terror; unsure exactly what to do but knowing that things had changed irrevocably and the happy bubble we had been cocooned in up until that moment had burst.

But it also reminded me of a time when everything had been normal; Harry, Ron and I had been laughing carelessly after a lovely trip in Hogsmead; a mere three weeks before everything had gone to hell.

"And you're telling me this because?"

I tried to rearrange my features to portray indifference but I failed miserably. I wondered if his mind had gone along the same train of thought when he had seen her.

"I don't know why I'm telling you to be honest". I could tell by the look on his face that he meant it. He shrugged resignedly and leaned against the banister, watching as others started to emerge from the Great Hall in drips and drabs ready for that morning's classes.

He sighed audibly and rubbed his hands through his hair.

"Perhaps I'm looking for some sort of recognition on your face. That maybe you know something that could put an end to the mystery of who did this to her?"

He dropped his gaze guiltily and I thanked my lucky stars that in doing so, he missed it. That he missed the sudden moment of clarity in my eyes as Malfoy's muttering in Dumbledore's office came back to me ten-fold.

He had muttered the word necklace.

There could be no doubting that; I had heard it all too clearly and wondered at the time of his inability to keep his thoughts to himself. I had asked him if his mission would harm the school and he had failed to answer me.

Even before we had been interrupted by the arrival of all of the teachers; he had failed to outright deny the question I had posed to him and so prevent my mind from wandering into areas I wanted nothing to do with. If he had wanted to prevent my imagination running riot; he had had more than adequate time to do so.

But he hadn't. He had been about to speak and his face had been...guilty.

Harry looked up and once again I was unable to hide the fact that I was thinking furiously. It would have been futile to try and clamp down my emotions over something this serious; our friendship was clearly not quite over yet and Harry knew me all too well.

"If there was something you thought I needed to know, would you tell me?" He searched my face for a clue; for a weak spot that he could use against me. So I held his gaze and refused to drop my eyes knowing that he would only infer my guilt if I did so.

It took me a lifetime to answer because I knew that I was about to lie and I needed it to be convincing.

"Yes", I eventually whispered and then cleared my throat. "Yes I would tell you what I thought you needed to know".

He nodded gratefully and I pushed the feelings of misery away that he could no longer tell when I was lying. Obviously, he didn't know me that well anymore.

"I know things have been...strained between us all Hermione, but I want you to know that you can always come to me with any...suspicions you may have or anything. Okay?"

I was about to nod; to thank him most sincerely from the bottom of my heart but then he shifted his footing slightly and I saw the corner of the Marauder's Map sticking out of his back pocket along with his wand. My insides sank, he wanted me to snitch on Malfoy; his obsession with where Malfoy was and what he was doing was clearly still ruling his mind as it had been since September.

With that we were right back to square one; me having no-one that I could trust and Harry still thinking there was a part of me still wholly on their side. My allegiance still embedded with his and everything that he stood for and therefore, when it came down to the wire, my feelings about Malfoy were redundant.

Harry was so sure that I would always pick the side of the Order and him, no matter what. How could he possibly expect me to turn my back on everything that I had come to realise during the past three months?

I would have followed him to the ends of the earth not so long ago but in my transformation; he had decided to ignore who I was in favour of who he thought I should be and therefore he had never accepted me or this person as the real Hermione Granger.

And he never would.

"Okay", I eventually said, smiling stiffly at him. "I think I'm going to go and have a lie down, the idea of facing everyone after the Howler debacle...well, you know".

He nodded as if he understood. "Do you think his Dad really..."

"Meant it?" I said quickly. "Yes, of course he meant it. I don't think Lucius Malfoy is someone to mince his words". I thought of Malfoy and the previous punishments he had received at the hands of his father and shuddered inwardly imagining all sorts of horror.

"I suppose".

We stood awkwardly for another moment or two, neither of us enjoying the formality that kept creeping into our tones as if we had known each other for only a few hours and not several years.

But that was just the way things were between us now and I didn't know if they would ever get back to normal.

"Anyway...". I coughed stupidly. "See you around Harry".

"Yea...bye Hermione".

I moved away from him up the staircase and fought the urge to turn right and head down the corridor after Malfoy even though I had no idea where he was headed; although I definitely could have hazarded a guess.

Something made me stop at the far end of the first floor corridor though, at the foot of the staircase leading up to the next floor. Perhaps it was the feeling that Myrtle's bathroom door had just swung shut and nobody had come out.

The hair on the back of my neck stood up and the unmistakable feeling that somebody had just walked over my grave slithered up my spine.

I turned and although I couldn't hear anything other than the usual bustling noise of students, something was there that hadn't been there before; an atmosphere of tension and malevolence that was almost palpable.

I scanned the faces of students headed to class; attempted to discern their moods and whether or not a fight was brewing. Part of me praying, and I wasn't sure why, that a simple argument was all it was and I was just being hyper sensitive.

But within seconds I could tell that it was far more serious than that.

I ran down the length of corridor roughly knocking people out of the way; it seemed an age until I reached Myrtle's door and when I pressed my ear to it, I discern shouts from inside but they were faint against the backdrop of chattering students.

I threw myself inside and the sight that greeted me made every muscle in my legs seize up and my breath catch as if I had suddenly been plunged into ice cold water.

Broken porcelain, shattered mirrors and water everywhere was the first clue of this being a newly hit bomb site.

"Sectumsempra!" The voice that screamed this unrecognisable word was full of hate and loathing.

Malfoy's body suddenly hurtled into view a few feet away from me but in falling behind the large round sinks he dropped out of my line of vision just as quickly as he had come into it. I stopped breathing but something about watching him fly through the air; his face seized in pain made me come to.

I ran over to his side as blood from the gashes all over his body began to pour out in a torrential spurt. The water around us dyed a malicious red and I bit my lip to stop myself from screaming as I grabbed my wand and tried to do anything I could to stop the bleeding. Malfoy's face was grey as he sputtered and choked for breath and I tried to tell him that it would be okay but the spells I knew were useless against this kind of dark magic.

Movement on my left startled me and I saw Harry stock still, shock and incredulity written all over his face. I stared at him and tried to register that he had done this. His had been the voice filled with so much abhorrence.

Malfoy gurgled something incoherent as blood began to fill his mouth; his eyes widening in fear at the look on my face.

"He's going to die Harry, do something...the spells...they aren't...Malfoy please don't", I choked through the sobs now wracking my body.

"HE'S GOING TO DIE" I screamed with all my might hoping, somebody...anybody could hear me.

Malfoy reached up with his left hand and stroked my cheek leaving a trail of his blood across it but that only made me cry harder. Why couldn't I do anything?

A hand pushed me to the side roughly and for a moment I thought it was Harry but the greasy long black hair told me it could only be one person.

Malfoy's blood began to seep back into the open wounds across his body. Snape had a counter curse which he whispered as calmly as if he did this every day. In my haste to feel relief I didn't once think of this as strange assuming quickly that his past as a Death Eater had given him at least one good thing.

Harry was standing exactly where I had left him looking like a lost child; I struggled to my feet and leaned against the sinks for support, panting heavily.

"Will he be okay?"

Snape ignored me and rounded on Harry probing his mind, silently but with deadly force that I watched as Harry recoiled as if slapped and the sweat broke out across his forehead.

"Bring it to me Potter".

Harry left the room with the kind of look a tortured animal has when they know the end is coming; trapped.

I knelt beside Malfoy, taking his hand and pressing it to my cheek, attempting to give him some comfort. His eyes remained closed and his breathing shallow but his fingers moved against my cheek so I knew he was still conscious.

"Miss Granger..." Snape began but then obviously thought better of it as he closed his mouth again.

"Will...will I take him to the hosp...hospital wing?" I stuttered between tears, ashamed that I was still crying.

"No, I will do that", Snape said as Harry came panting back into the bathroom and handed Snape a book.

I recognised the cover of Advanced Potions Making and the realisation that Harry had gotten the spell from there hit me hard and fast but I kept my mouth shut and my mind blank as Harry's pleading face stared at me over Snape's shoulder.

"I will take Mr Malfoy to the hospital wing, Potter you will stay here and Granger you will be gone by the time I get back and if you value your career in Hogwarts you will keep your mouth shut about anything you saw, do you understand?", said Snape sneering all the while at Harry, his lip curling with distaste.

Snape didn't wait for an answer but assumed my absolute compliance. He flicked his wand and Malfoy levitated from the ground, I gripped his hand briefly again before finally letting it drop and while I may have imagined it; I could have sworn he flinched when I let go.

Unconsciousness finally claimed him, however, and his arm dangled limply at his side; his blonde hair soaking wet and his gray pallor all too apparent. I let out a breath as I saw the gashes through his uniform; showing his bloody and scarred chest, scars that he would always carry with him.

Snape left without another word and I stared after him for several minutes.

"Hermione..." Harry's voice was weak with exhaustion, as if he had run a marathon in the last few minutes.

"You could have killed him", I whispered. "I told you to give that book up and no matter who he is or what you think concerning my feelings for him; you nearly killed him and that is against everything you fight for".

"It was an accident".

I lurched towards him and grabbed his jumper, pulling his face down to meet mine. "You stupid bastard, you cast a spell without knowing what it did!"

He didn't get angry at me for screaming in his face; rather he sighed and aside from looking completely shell shocked I could see the guilt was already working on him.

"I hope the guilt eats away at you for this Harry but I guess I should thank you for proving that while you may be the Golden Boy to everyone else you can make serious, life threatening mistakes too. I'll always know what you did".

"He could have killed me Hermione, we were duelling". His defence was weak and I grimaced at his words.

"Did he cast the killing spell?"

Harry muttered and stared at his feet; answer enough.

"I thought not and whether he might have or not we will never know. Jesus Harry...", I pushed him away from me with all the force I had and left the bathroom leaving him to face his fate with Snape alone.

I should have thanked him; the near death experience allowed Malfoy to finally open up to me.

But I could never have known that just then.

All I knew, as I cleaned Malfoy's blood off of me with my wand and walked with my back straight and my head high was that I was furious. Drying my tears; I finally allowed the intense rage to surge forth and control my thoughts and emotions.

I smiled but the smile was not a good one; it was one of power and white hot wrath but it gave me a feeling of intense authority.

Harry had never made me so angry and I was damn sure that I would make him pay for what he had done.

I'd make him pay over and over again.