Author's Note: I found an unfinished chapter 4 of this story in my documents recently and I decided to pick it up again. This is not a long chapter, but for those of you who stuck with me and are still following this story: Thank you, I'm sorry, and I hope you will give me a chance to redeem myself. R&R! 3

Choices In The Evening

Chapter 4.

No regrets.

Three months into their agreement, they had their first slip-up, the first time that the line they had drawn between them blurred slightly.

It had been ridiculous to set their date in one year, both of them knew that, but each had wanted to give the other time to adjust. Brennan was the first to come to the conclusion that she didn't need or want all that time, but she hadn't dared to tell Booth yet. He, on the other hand, was busy trying to keep himself in check around her, with all his might he was trying to give her time and space to heal. It was helping him to see her slowly go back to her old self, but now that he knew what was waiting for him and that her love was an actual, obtainable goal, he found it difficult to keep the one year promise.

One night after closing a case they found themselves on the same bar stools as the night of Booth's proposal to his former girlfriend. Neither of them noticed but the conversation was unusually tense.

'It's good to see you happy again Booth,' Brennan said after a few shots. 'We closed another case, we still work. And you're happy.'

He nodded, the tequila making him giddy. 'Yeah, I feel good, Bones. Better, at least. I'm glad you're around.'

She smiled. 'I'm happy to be here. Work just wouldn't be the same without you.'

'Aww, you'd still be an amazing scientist without me, Bones,' he countered. 'You're amazing at everything.'

'But I wouldn't be Bones without you,' she said softly. 'I would just be Temperance. And I'd rather be Bones.'

It touched his heart unexpectedly. It might be the alcohol, it might be her presence and her admission or a combination of both but he felt a wave of protectiveness towards her. The feeling wasn't new, he had had it many times before, but this time it seemed to be deeper. It was his duty to always make her feel like she was special. Slowly he leaned towards her, nudging her elbow with his. 'Without you I wouldn't be Booth,' he said. 'And I love that. It's us. It makes this special.'

She nodded. 'I think we're pretty special. Our partnership, I mean. And our relationship is something that is very valuable to me.'

'It's valuable to me too,' he said. 'I wouldn't wanna have it any other way.' He hadn't thought about what he meant by that, it just felt true. 'I'm glad you stayed and had a drink,' he added. It caused them both to revisit memories of that night, and meeting her eyes he knew she had at that point also realized that they were sitting in exactly the same spot. It had been an impossible ultimatum for her, of course she would stay, there just wasn't any other way that was acceptable to her. Having seen him retreat from her with Hannah had been the hardest thing she ever had to witness but it had been necessary for her to come to a conclusion that would have been elusive otherwise: Booth was the thing missing from her life. It wasn't an award, recognition, friends, or even her parents at this point. It was him and the amount of love and trust he had given her. She had just been blind to it up until that one day at the coffee cart. 'You know a year is a long time,' she said softly. 'I don't think we need a year.'

He smiled softly and looked back at his glass. 'We do, Bones. We have to make sure we don't get this wrong. I don't think I can take any more.' The giddiness he had felt was gone, and he turned a little sad. He knew how lucky he had been for her reaction to his actions months ago but he also feared how close he had come to losing everything. She felt the atmosphere change and her hand found its way onto his wrist. 'Booth..'

He looked at her and he saw his own feelings reflected there. She was having trouble staying platonic as well. How could she? Had she forgotten who he had become, how he had taken advantage of her body as if she was some toy? Why on Earth did she still trust and want him? He really didn't know, but he was incredibly glad. 'We have an agreement and we're going to keep to it,' he said again. 'Or at least, I am. I need to be absolutely sure.' 'I don't know how else I can show you that I meant everything I've said,' Brennan said. 'I just don't know how.' He shook his head. 'It's not that, Bones. I know how you feel. I just need to wait, I need to know I can trust myself. You, I trust with my life and you know that. I just don't ever want to treat you like I did.' 'Like I said before, it was a logical, biological reaction,' she answered. 'You have nothing to be ashamed about.'

'I do, and I need you to see that I do,' he said desperately. 'I need you to see how I feel about all this, Bones. You need to understand before we can move on. If we still have that chance.'

'If we don't, then what are we doing here?' she said softly. 'If you think our chance was lost, then why are talking about this?' She looked sad, and he saw tears forming in her eyes. 'Our chance is not lost, Temperance. We've been given so many chances, we'll get another one. And I won't screw it up. I promise.' She smiled through her tears. 'I'm not good at relationships.' He smiled back. 'The fact that you're even considering a relationship with me is so much more than I deserve right now.' The hand that was still on his wrist squeezed him softly before she released him and turned back to her shot. 'So, how many more of these are you going to feed me this time?' He looked at her, a smile still on his lips. How lucky could one be in life to find someone who is so extremely challenging and difficult to reach, but still the most sensitive, amazing and considerate person in the world to you? He wasn't the philosophical type but she made him wonder every time how such a conundrum could exist, and how to navigate it to achieve the perfect result. He had been close to total destruction and he had been saved by her, just her. Was she the answer to her own mystery?

'I think we've had enough,' he said, a headache starting to form at his deep thought process. 'I'm not getting any younger. Let's go, Bones.' He dropped a few bills on the counter for the bartender (who was glad to see his favorite couple back, smiling, touching) and his hand found its place on her lower back. She noticed it of course but decided not to comment, feeling happy that he felt comfortable enough to at least fall back into their old habits. Once they were outside he turned towards her. 'Wanna watch a movie?' He was a bit unsteady on his legs and she chuckled.

'You're a sheet to the wind, Booth, and it's late,' she said. 'I'll go home and go to bed. But thank you. I had a nice time.' 'Three sheets, Bones, he smiled at her. 'I think the expression is three sheets.' She frowned. 'That sounds like a lot.' Then she dropped her eyes to her boots. 'We should do this more often. I have missed our evenings together.'

'You mean you wanna get drunk more often, make up for those two sheets of yours? Did I turn you into an alcoholic as well?' he joked. 'You're not an alcoholic, Booth,' she said softly. 'You are not your father.' 'I've been close enough,' he answered. 'I know you don't see it that way but I still do, Bones. It's the reason we do need that year. I scared myself and I scared you and he is still a part of me, even though I fought it.' She nodded and nudged his arm with hers. 'I know. And I understand even though I disagree. I know you, and you are a good man. You would never hurt me, you didn't. And I know you imagined it to be different, I won't deny that I did as well. But I am getting stronger, and so are you. The center must hold, and it will. Maybe in a year, I'll be strong enough to give you that confidence. And you'll be confident enough to show me what you find to be missing now.' He smiled sweetly at her, alcohol and her words causing him to be a little emotional. He thought he decided to push her boundaries a little, but it wasn't a decision at all. It was the only way this evening was going to end. He reached for her arms, softly grabbing her elbows and pulling her close. She expected a hug, like they had shared before, but he reached down and kissed her softly. He was feeling so much at that moment, so much hope and love for the future that he had to try and show her at least a little bit. His lips were soft and he tasted a little of tequila, but it reminded her of their first kiss. He'd asked her something, intoxicated, aroused, and amused. 'Are you afraid that I'll look at you in the morning and have regrets?' She had answered him no, confidently, because she had been sure she wouldn't disappoint him. She'd never considered him disappointing himself when their time finally came.

That was a long time ago, though. It had been her idea, and she who had put a stop to it later that evening. There had been no regrets and there still weren't, not on her part. They had never been closer than those two nights, but they had also driven them farther apart. It would take them time to adjust. She hadn't known how to change for him, but the last few months had taught her something about Seeley Booth: He didn't know either. She pulled back after a few seconds, not because she wanted to, but because she needed to protect him. From himself, this time. 'You're the one that needs protecting,' she whispered. He smiled sadly and nodded, swallowing against the lump in his throat.

'Nine months, Bones.' She nodded. 'Nine months.'