Chapter Thirty-Six
Everything for Harry
"Understanding is the first step to acceptance, and only with acceptance can there be recovery" J.K. Rowling.
I stood, numb and breathless. The battle was white noise around me as I stared down at his body; his cold, lifeless body; traces of a smirk still visible on his lips. There was blood on his hands, his chin and now it was slowly dribbling out of his ears.
I had cursed him and I had revelled in his death. I had deliberately avoided using the killing curse because I had wanted him to suffer and now I was horrified at my own behaviour. I had walked into this battle knowing there would be casualties but never thinking for one second that I may have to kill someone else. How naive was I? After everything I had seen and heard, how the hell did I think I would make it through battle without once killing someone?
"Hermione!" I heard someone scream my name as if through water. I turned and saw Draco racing towards me before grabbing my arm to spin me around and pull me after him, firing spells over his shoulder as he went. I looked back to take one last look at Fenrir's body and then closed my eyes against the memory; telling myself I would deal with it later.
"Where are we going?"
"Potter said the diadem we need is in the room of hidden things, he said you'd know where to go, he said to tell you the only place to look is somewhere you've already been, whatever that means", Draco screamed, trying to be heard over the din.
"Where is Harry?" I shouted.
"Trying hard not to die, like the rest of us, now would you just think please?" Draco roared over his shoulder at me.
My mind harked back to the moment Harry had taken me to find the book, a H to turn right and a P to turn left, but I didn't remember him saying anything about a diadem.
"I don't know about any diadem", I yelled back throwing a stupefy off to my left which caught Dolohov in the back as he was about to pounce on Parvati.
"Let's just get there and see shall we, I don't really have time to discuss this", he growled pelting forward without waiting for me to speed up.
We propelled ourselves into the room, finding it hard to finish the walk three times without firing spells left and right. We ran through the door the second it appeared and, hoping for the best, I roared at Draco to follow me and started moving through the room praying that nobody had somehow scratched away Harry's markings.
No, there they were, clear as the first time I'd seen them. We took several left and right turns and I could hear Draco panting behind me, running hard, his footsteps echoing off the walls of the cavernous room until I felt like there were several people running behind me.
I pulled up short at the vanishing cabinet and whirled around, finding first the troll statue and then the book but not understanding what else Harry was thinking I would find.
"I don't know", I said turning to Draco frustration clear on my face. "I don't know what he wants me to see?"
"Well, well, well", sneered a voice from behind us. We turned and watched in horror as Crabbe and Goyle came into view.
Now the sound of extra footsteps made sense, I cursed myself inwardly, we really hadn't been careful enough.
"Malfoy and a mudblood, you're father..." started Crabbe.
"Is long dead and doesn't need to be talked about" snarled Draco.
"After all this time, how could you turn your back on us Malfoy?" said Goyle and I could hear the whining in his voice.
"We don't need him, we haven't needed him for quite some time" said Crabbe rounding on Goyle.
"But we did need him or don't you remember that?" said Goyle. "You were important to us Draco, you were the leader, how could you fall so far away from us?"
"Eloquent", said Draco folding his arms attempting to appear nonchalant but if it fooled them, which I doubted, it definitely didn't fool me. He was tense and had moved deliberately until he was practically blocking me from view. "Practise that speech did you?"
"Fuck you", spat Crabbe. "You left us for that slut and we're here to finally put you out of your misery".
Malfoy's wand was up on the word slut but it was me who moved to stand in front of him, the wand I had borrowed held out in front of me and pointed at Crabbe's chin.
"I know at least sixty different ways of letting you bleed out", I whispered my voice dripping with malice. I pointed my wand at his crotch, "I could cut that off". I pointed it at his inner thigh, "There's a nice artery in there that I could slit open, or maybe I should be original and go for the arteries in your neck".
He hadn't lowered his wand but was now scowling at me, "You filthy..."
"SHUT UP", I screamed. "I'm not done. I'm going to give you three seconds to turn around and leave or I will slit your fucking throat".
My hand trembled slightly but otherwise stayed steady fixed on his neck where I could see his veins bulging. I didn't know if I was serious or not but I really didn't want him to hang around to find out.
"One..." I started and I saw Goyle shiver but he stayed put.
"Two..." I said watching now as beads of sweat began to form on Crabbe's upper lip.
"Hermione", I heard Draco whisper behind me.
"Three", I said and then...nothing.
Crabbe started to laugh and Goyle slowly joined in. The laughter did the trick, it annoyed me so much that without thinking twice I raised my wand and sliced Crabbe's inner thigh and watched as his blood spurted out in heavy bursts.
Goyle took one look at me and bolted, the feral appearance of my face probably too much for him. Draco leapt forward and quickly performed a counter to the spell I had cast, stitching up Crabbe's leg before he lost too much to bleed out but enough that he had collapsed and gave me a look while I stared incredulously at him.
"Are you kidding me?"
"I know you killed Fenrir, one tear in your soul is enough alright, don't add a pathetic idiot to the list", he admonished me before performing a petrificus totalus on Crabbe in case he awoke while we were still there. He also lifted Crabbe's wand and snapped it in half throwing the pieces far into the distance.
"Now think, diadem".
"I don't..." I turned exasperatedly and at that moment I saw the book, the statue and for the first time my eyes fell onto a garish headpiece.
"This is it", I whispered picking it up and almost...feeling it move in my hand as if possessed...which it was. "Harry said something about a funny looking headpiece and it was right I after I'd realised we were standing next to the vanishing cabinet you were fixing at the time, this is it".
"You're sure?"
I stared at him and he saw the certainty in my eyes, "I'm sure".
"Then let's go".
The school was still in chaos as we emerged into the fray; spells, smashing stone and people strewn across the floors impeded our way as we stumbled around trying to find Harry.
We heard her before we saw her, the cackle of a laugh that felt like metal running down a chalkboard. Draco stilled no longer running alongside me but watching Bellatrix as she danced and pirouetted her way through scores of people, beating them easily one by one. She said Draco and gasped before her gasp turned into a grin, a Cheshire cat who had finally found a great riddle to solve.
"Go and find Harry, we don't have time to wait. I'll get you somewhere", said Draco not looking at me but getting into a duelling position, to which Bellatrix copied and then followed with a bow, Draco mirroring her actions.
"Draco, please".
"Go", he said, his eyes never straying to me as he walked the paces required for a duel. "I'll catch up".
"I..."
"Granger", he growled pausing before turning to face Bellatrix. "Just go".
I ran just as he spun around and cast the first spell and the duel commenced. I knew this was something she was revelling in, Draco had been taught by her and now it was very much a case of the pupil who has turned on his master. She had killed Sirius, who himself had been skilled; this frightened me, would Draco be a match for her?
I had no way of knowing, all I could do was pray that I would see him when this was all over.
"Harry", I screamed stumbling into the courtyard hoping this was where he would be.
"Harry!"
As I screamed, death eaters began disapparating everywhere, retreating? No...that didn't make sense. The sound of Voldemort's voice filled my head and I dropped the diadem, covering my ears and trying to quell the urge to scream.
I was so overwhelmed with the feeling that my head was full of water that I only heard, "dead...one hour...give me Harry".
When the voice receded, I realised the battle had ceased, at least for now and an eerie quiet was creeping in and enveloping everything.
I knelt down and picked up the diadem.
"Hermione", said a voice behind me and I turned, surprised I had to admit, to see that Ron was still alive.
"I have the diadem, where is Harry?" I whispered.
"He's in Dumbledore's office, Snape's dead and he left him a memory. We need to go down to the Chamber and destroy it. The best place to get a basilisk fang", he took the diadem from me and went to walk away.
"Wait, you're not going without me", I said following him and moving to take the diadem out of his hands but he was too quick for me and moved it out of reach.
"What?"
"I'm coming too", I said.
"You want to work with me?"
"For Harry I do and this is important for me too, I want this to be over as much as you do".
He gave me a heavy look and waited to see if I would back down before sighing and nodding.
"Harry won't know we've gone though", I added as an afterthought, "when he comes back he might wonder".
"We'll tell Ginny to pass it on", said Ron. "If we're going, let's go".
I followed him and looked up as we walked to the bottom of the staircase just in time to see Draco running full pelt down the stairs towards me for the second time that day.
His arms wrapped around me and he lifted me off my feet, "Thank merlin", he said breathing into my hair.
"You're still alive", my voice cracked and I pulled his face back from mine as if to inspect it.
"She's not dead, they all retreated but it isn't over, where are you going with him?"
"Chamber of secrets, to destroy the horcrux", I gestured to the diadem that was still encased in Ron's hand. He was looking at us with a mix of longing and revulsion and I remembered how he had lost Lavender.
"I'm coming too", said Draco squaring his shoulders.
"No, this isn't a party", said Ron turning away and yelling at Ginny to come over to us.
"I'm coming if she's going, that's how this works", Draco said.
"I can do this without both of you", said Ron turning to Ginny who half smiled at me which I tried to return.
Draco pulled me to face him as Ron hurriedly spoke to Ginny, "I'm coming too".
"I know, let me deal with it", I said shrugging out of his grip.
Ron began walking up the stairs as Ginny moved away to be with her family; I caught a glimpse in the great hall and saw the shock of red hair lying on the ground.
"Ron wait", I pulled his arm and twisted him around staring into his eyes, trying to find something I recognised from the boy I had once loved. "Who have you lost?"
His face crumpled and he fell forwards into my arms which felt odd in itself but I tried not to focus on that, "Fred" was the only word he uttered but that word was filled with anguish that I almost crumpled beneath him.
My eyes immediately filled with tears, "Oh Ron, I'm sorry". Despite everything, I couldn't help the overwhelming sadness and pity that filled my heart. Fred had always been a good person and nobody deserved to lose their brother. I wrapped my arms around him and squeezed briefly before letting go, already sensing that Draco was tensing beside me.
"Let us come with you", I said soothingly, "don't do this alone. Draco speaks parseltongue, we might need him and there has been enough conflict between us so let us do this for Harry".
"For Harry", repeated Ron giving a look to Draco and then sighing.
"The last thing we can do for him, try not to kill Ron along the way", I whispered glancing at Draco before following Ron up the stairs to which he shrugged in a I'll try but I can't promise anything sort of way.
We were so close.