Chapter Thirty-Eight

Everything Now Finished?

"Keep love in your heart. A life without love is like a sunless garden where the flowers are dead"- Oscar Wilde

I could call it the most agonizing wait of my life, but that would be a lie. Over time, as the years' passed, I would forget, like so many others, the torture we endured as we waited for some sign, anything, that Harry was alive and that going to Voldemort had worked. The feeling would diminish through the telling and re-telling of the story of that night and after several years had passed, I would wonder and try to remember just how incredibly difficult it had been. I would fail miserably.

But for that night at least, I was acutely aware of the pain, agony and desperation that waiting caused.

I was sitting with Draco's hand clasped in my own, wordlessly ignoring some of the stares that were still pointed our way. They all knew that he had killed Dumbledore but his presence at the battle and his duel with Bellatrix had not gone unnoticed and they knew that something more than them was at work here. So, for that knowledge alone, they kept their distance and no cruel words were spoken in our direction. However, their hostile glances didn't fill me with hope and instead I had to endure the heavy burden of foreboding along with everything else.

"Do you think I'll stand trial?" said Draco, his voice reaching me through the thick fog of my mind.

I stared around the room before answering him. I watched as people held each other, some crying, some beyond that like I was and some even drinking mugs of hot tea that were being passed around by Madam Pomfrey though the idea of eating or drinking anything was repulsive to me. I had choked down some water but going by appetite, well, I certainly didn't have one.

"For what?" I eventually sighed wearily, looking down at my feet, shaking my hand out of his grasp and rubbing my dirty hands over my even dirtier face.

"For killing Dumbledore, for being at all the raids, for torturing several other people and not doing anything about the countless others that were murdered", he said solemnly before rubbing his hands tiredly over his face. "How could it not go to trial?"

I turned to him sharply "Surely...no...I mean they can't...after all that you've done to help me and our side...they can't...can they?" The thought had never occurred to me but I was beginning to realise how stupid I had been in that.

Snape was dead, the only other person who was ever going to vouch for Draco had been taken away from us and now...well what was to stop them making Draco pay for what he had done.

"I deserve to go to Azkaban for all that I've done, Snape is gone and he was the only chance I had. What the hell is going to happen to me now?" said Draco snorting bitterly.

"I don't know", I whispered, shamefully admitting that I really didn't know what would happen all the while knowing that Draco had wanted me to lie to him and pretend that everything would be okay.

"I think I will have to stand trial, they'll have to parade me around and humiliate me. I admitted to not knowing about Dumbledore's curse, I admitted to killing him because I wanted to save you, they won't have a choice. I'm going to be on their list of people to go straight to Azkaban".

"They let Snape off the last time when he turned spy for them, which you did by the way. I mean, because of you we got into Malfoy Manor and raided the place", I said seeing a glimmer of hope blossom in front of my eyes.

"And who vouched for Snape exactly?" said Draco derisively.

I faltered for a moment as the glimmer flickered and then died. "Dumbledore", I eventually sighed.

"Dumbledore," Draco agreed nodding. "I'll definitely have a one way ticket for Azkaban by the time their finished with me".

"I'll try not to let that happen and if you go, I go too because what you did, you did because of me", I said solemnly, no trace of jest in my voice but only resignation.

"What a very selfish thing to say, what makes you think I won't need you sane and in one piece waiting for me when I get out, to help me to put things back together?" He tried to smile at me but it came out a grimace and I realised that he would need me and I was no good to him in prison.

"You're strong and that place won't change you", I said leaning my head on his shoulder.

He reached his hand up and stroked my hair, "It changes everyone but that's why if you're waiting for me, I'll eventually come back to you".

Draco let out a groan and rubbed his left arm, "Jesus, this hurts worse than before".

I raised my head, "What happens to your mark if Voldemort dies?"

"It disappears I assume, we were never allowed to wonder; that's treason", he smiled ruefully pulling back his sleeve where the mark was burning as black and as brightly as I'd ever seen it.

"What does it mean?" I whispered.

"I don't know but the last time this happened...the last time it burned like this, this painful...this black...it meant he was happy", Draco finished his sentence and raised his head to look at me as I gaped at him open-mouthed.

"Oh God I hope Harry's okay", I rested my head in my hands. "Say nothing to anyone".

"I'm used to that", grunted Draco lowering his sleeve, his voice cracking slightly.

I have no idea how long we sat there but the next thing I heard was screaming.

Harry!

"That's Ginny", I said getting to my feet like so many others around me and running towards the courtyard, Draco close on my heels.

"No, no...this can't be happening", I said under my breath as I realised Hagrid was carrying Harry's body, limp and lifeless.

"Harry Potter is dead!" screamed Voldemort as the death eaters filed in to the courtyard, Bellatrix coming forward and taking the fore next to her master.

"That's our last hope gone", said Draco spat out from somewhere behind me.

"What a thing to say", I whispered back hoping nobody had heard him and wondering why he sometimes failed to keep his mouth shut.

"We welcome anyone to join us!" Voldemort was yelling gleefully along with some other words that were drowned out by the white noise currently rushing around my head.

"Draco..."

The voice was soft but menacing, commanding but gentle and it was all Draco needed to flinch visibly.

"Draco...you belonged with this side and you turned your back...come here so that we may kill you next", Bellatrix spat at her once loved nephew.

"Take him then", came the first voice from somewhere to my left.

"Yea, we don't want him".

"He killed Dumbledore".

Suddenly, a whole chorus of voices leapt up vying for Draco's head on a platter.

"Go you filthy death eater scum".

"You don't belong here".

Bellatrix cackled gleefully before firing a gunshot sound into the air to silence the crowd.

"See Draco, nobody wants you so why not accept death and welcome it with open arms", Bellatrix extended her arms and smiled.

Voldemort had been watching the exchange with an amused expression before finally stepping forward.

"You fooled us for so long Draco", he whispered, leaning down to give a gentle caress to his snake. "You loved a mudblood and you managed to live in my presence for close to a year and hide it. You made it all so real but where do you belong? Nowhere Draco, the answer is nowhere".

I wanted to scream out, to shout that he belonged with me; that it didn't matter if everyone rejected us because all I wanted in that moment was to live a life secluded and cut off from society and never speak to another living soul ever again.

But I couldn't speak, I could say nothing.

"These people want your blood and so do we so come and do us all a favour and I promise to let your aunt finish it quickly," whispered Voldemort, his voice lowering until he was almost impossible to hear.

Draco made to move forward the fury on his face told me that all he wanted to do was fight for the right to his life and some of my own side, the people I had always thought compassionate began to cheer and it was then that I found my voice.

"Don't you dare", I growled at him pushing him forcefully and so hard that even he, for as tall as he was, stumbled back a few steps.

"Shut up", I screamed at the crowd launching my wand into the air and making the same gunshot sound that Bellatrix had utilised confusing those who were yelling into thinking she had done it and they quickly fell silent.

"How dare you? You know half a story and you think that gives you a good reason to condemn another person to death? That makes you no better than him", I gestured to Voldemort and a few people had the decency to look shamefaced.

"Miss Granger is right", came McGonagall's voice. "Mr Malfoy cannot be held accountable for a family he had no choice to be born into, the choices he made will be presented to him in the future but for the love of all that is sacred let us, right now, focus on what we have come here to do and let Mr Potter not have died in vain!"

I could have hugged her but I didn't have time to think because Harry suddenly leapt out of Hagrid's arms to a bemused Voldemort and the glee of everyone else, Draco was momentarily forgotten but not by his aunt who beckoned him and he went, pelting forward without a backward glance until he was lost to me and we were thrown once more into battle.

I screamed and ducked as a jet of green light flew over my head. The debris of the castle shattering around me, it was fight or die. Very simple but a lot of the death eaters were apparating away, their numbers were dwindling as we fought on.

Then things seemed to slow down, fog lifted and I watched as Neville pulled the Gryffindor sword out of the sorting hat and decapitated Nagini all in one fluid motion.

I screamed in delight, the last horcrux and Neville was probably not even aware just how valuable this action was.

But my scream transformed into one of horror when I turned my head in order to find Harry only to see Draco on his knees clutching his side, bleeding heavily. Bellatrix leaning over him, her wand pressed to his temple and she was speaking but I couldn't hear anything she was saying. She wasn't without injury, her hair was smoking and there were burns all over her face and arms, the blood was pouring out of a gash on her chin and she looked furious, I would have bet a lot of money that Draco had come close to beating her.

I ran forwards, interested only in reaching them, stupidly screaming his name as I went. She turned and threw a curse at me that knocked me backwards, sliding several feet backwards on the hard stone ground. I heard Draco roar in agony and then I ceased to feel anything.

I lay there, unable to move. A bloom of blood spreading across my chest as whatever curse she had hit me with began to work. The light began to fade, darkness took its place and all I could do was think of all the things I never got to say to Draco and all the things he had ever said to me...

"It excites you to know that people thing you are capable of such passion. That for even the briefest, infinitesimal second people finally saw you as something else. Something more".

"You are the most infuriating person I have ever met you know"

"We both knew it wouldn't last"

He had said we wouldn't last and he had been right, I was so tired. I was so cold. I was drifting and it felt nice, I hoped Draco would be waiting for me on the other side.

"No you don't Miss Granger", was the only voice I heard but I couldn't understand the words. They didn't mean anything to me but the light was returning, the bloom in my body was fading as the blood seemed to flow back into my chest, breathing life back into me.

McGonagall's face swam into view as I realized she had saved my life.

The sounds of battle roared back to life as my sense returned with shocking force and clarity.

"You'll have a scar but you'll be fine", she screamed at me as she hauled me to my feet.

It took my eyes several seconds to focus on her before I realized that I didn't know what had happened to Draco.

I tore my eyes from her face and then looked to where I had last seen him kneeling. He wasn't there…he was lying flat on his back and Bellatrix was flat on her back several feet away from him.

I rushed forwards, stumbling and tripping on all of the debris as I went before finally falling to my feet and crawling the last few yards to his side.

I screamed his name and to my shock and horror he opened his eyes. In my state I had failed to notice he was breathing heavily and hard, not the last gentle gasps of a dying man. I fell backwards in fright before throwing myself forward onto his chest. There was blood on his side but nothing serious, I had taken him on his knees to mean that Bellatrix had won but he had been pretending.

"You did it", I whispered.

"Yea I guess but I did have help", he said quietly getting to his feet and pulling me out of the middle of the courtyard where we would have cover from the spells shooting over our heads.

"What?" I screamed as I threw a killing curse over my shoulder, all done with stupefy for now.

"Ron, he hit her in the back when I was dueling. I was losing, she was stronger but he threw a quick spell at her, the burn marks, they're from him. She was distracted, it let me kill her".

"Why would he do that?"

"Let's ask him later shall we?"

"Look!" I turned Draco around so he could see the duel now going on between Voldemort and Harry. Bits of Voldemort were disappearing and as they did the last death eaters apparated away, the others fell in defeat.

Then it was over and the silence was deafening.

Draco fell to his knees beside me and yanked me down beside him, for the first time in what felt like days in this battle, we sat and held each other not worrying about a stray spell hitting us.

He breathed in my hair, kissed my dirty face, my cheeks, lips, eyelids and throat before whispering something I couldn't hear.

"Marry me?" He said.

"We'll have all the time in the world for that", I smiled.

"Not now, maybe not even a month from now but make a promise that you'll be mine", he smiled.

"Look I said", I said suddenly, forgetting to even answer his question as I realized the courtyard had once again sparked to life. "They're taking death eaters into custody? Surely it's too soon for this kind of thing?"

"They have to start sometime and they must have only just put wards up to stop anymore from apparating, quite a few seem to have got away", said Draco thoughtfully before turning his face to me with a sigh and a slump of his shoulders.

"I'm going to give myself over to them." His voice was decisive despite the appearance of defeat. He got steadily to his feet and pulled me with him.

"Over my dead body", I said turning to him furiously and planting my hands on his chest.

"That very nearly happened several times over the last year and a half and I've had enough of it. If I don't do this, then we will always be looking over our shoulders waiting for them to take me away or take us or for all of it to finally come home to roost and I'm done with running and hiding behind people. I'm going to hand myself in, tell them everything and finally get everyone to leave us the hell alone", said Draco angrily grabbing my shoulders and shaking me slightly. "I'm done, just wait for me".

He began to walk away after planting a soft yet lingering kiss on my lips and running his hands through my hair.

"Wait!" I said and threw myself forwards and wrapped my hands around his neck, "I promise, I'm yours, always…yours".

"Yes you are", he said turning from me and beginning to walk towards Kingsley Shacklebolt and the other Aurors now binding all of the remaining death eaters.

Was I really going to let this happen?