I was dreading this chapter, but I don't want to have anymore hiatuses because of my insecurity. Sorry it took so long to get to this point. Enjoy the chapter.
Chapter 23
Grimmjow was going to kill him. He seriously was going to kill him. Once again Aizen found a way to mess with his and Ichigo's lives. Sure he didn't do this intentionally. There was no way he could know what was going on in the afterlife. He can imagine that whatever is known about Central 46 is kept incredibly confidential. So there was no way he was making genocide of non-purebred with the intention of fucking with them. He went about two hundred years of his life without knowing anything about shinigami so he can imagine that Aizen was in a similar predicament, but there was still no way he was going to forgive that bastard.
If what Urahara was saying was true, that Aizen truly had the intention of killing off any vampires that weren't purebred then that would make things a bit more confusing. His entire clan was made up of mostly non-purebreds and that included himself. Why did Aizen want him in his clan then to the point where he tried to use Ichigo as a bargaining chip? It didn't make any sense.
"Grimmjow, I need you to stay calm and allow me to explain what we are going to do from here on. The smartest option may be for you to take Ichigo to Germany to stay with your clan."
Grimmjow cocked his head to the side. He wasn't disagreeing; he would have loved to take Ichigo back to Germany to stay with him. He would want Ichigo to meet the family that he desired Ichigo to become part of, but he wasn't sure that taking him there would be the best course of action.
"Ummm, didn't you say that Aizen's goal was to kill all non-purebred vampires? Wouldn't it be smarter to keep Ichigo away then? Almost everyone in my clan seems to be on Aizen's kill list."
Urahara shook his head. "Don't you trust your clan? I know Stark pretty well and I know that Aizen is well aware of the power that he holds. Not only that, but Central 46 is searching for the shinigami that escaped and now that they know about Ichigo's existence and whereabouts. They will surely be back for him. It will be best if we split up and figure out what to do next."
Grimmjow nodded his head in understanding and then he took Ichigo's hand in his own. In any other circumstances he would be excited to introduce Ichigo to his father. He wished that he could meet him under different conditions, but this is the deck that was dealt to him so he needed to make the most out of it. The last thing he wanted was for Ichigo to get into more trouble, but with the shinigami on the hunt because of Aizen's actions it was hard for them to catch a break. At least he can get his clan to help him if anything happened. He just hoped that they wouldn't look at Ichigo like he was dinner. He trusted them, but he clearly trusted some more than others. He needed to think of a way to control a certain lanky individual.
Isshin cleared his throat and stood from the boulder that he was sitting on and walked over to Urahara. "I have to agree with Grimmjow. I know you trust the Jaegerjaquez clan's strength, but there is a variable that you are forgetting; Ichigo doesn't know how to use his powers fully yet. He may lose control and his inner soul may try and take control again. He didn't unlock all of his power yet and he can't even disguise his scent yet. You really want to throw my son in a house with a bunch of vampires? This plan of yours may be even more risky then leaving him here."
Grimmjow growled, but immediately censored his thoughts before he ran the risk of going off and angering Ichigo's father. He needed to stay on his good side and he had the right to be worried about his son. Just because his dad was laidback with him didn't mean that Ichigo's father would be fine with doing something this risky even if he did decide previously that Ichigo could handle himself well enough in a college filled with vampires looking to recruit. That program was being managed by his supposed best friend and he trusted that he would be fine in the end and it resulted in Ichigo unlocking his shinigami powers. "I'll make sure nothing bad happens to him. My family wouldn't intentionally hurt him if they knew that he was with me."
Isshin didn't look very convinced and the sound of Shinji sighing pulled his attention towards him. He leaned further back on the rock that Isshin was originally sitting on and tried to ease his friend's mind. "Will it be more reassuring if I went too?"
Urahara nodded. "Thank you, Shinji."
Ichigo gritted his teeth and clenched his fists. Grimmjow could nearly feel the frustration resonating off of him and even when he grabbed a hold of Ichigo's hand he would not unfold his fists. "Don't I have a say in this? If these shinigami assholes are trying to take me and you guys back then I want to stand and fight. I don't want to be the one protected anymore. Let me do something, anything."
Urahara sighed and took Ichigo by the shoulder and lead him away from the group. Grimmjow wanted to follow, but Isshin stopped him. He had a glum look on his face. He had an expression that showed that he didn't like what was about to happen next, but whatever was about to happen needed to be done. Ichigo could fight later, but for now they needed him to learn the harsh truth. It was spirit crushing and there was no way that Grimmjow could just stand back and let whatever happens next to happen. He didn't like seeing Ichigo's spirit get crushed because it was that spirit that made him fall in love with him in the first place. He was willing to do anything to preserve that spirit and protect him. There had to be a way to do both.
xxx
"Ichigo," Urahara started. "Words don't describe how impressed I am. You came so far within such a small amount of time even when it took us shinigami years to get to where you are, but right now you can only get in the way. Your father isn't that good at expressing his feelings, but he is seriously worried for you and doesn't want you to get hurt and for now we don't have the time to train you."
Ichigo knew that what Urahara was saying was right, but part of him still wanted to reject him and prove that he was capable on his own. He's come so far and he was finally able to fight after being the one protected time and time again. He wasn't just going to sit down and accept letting things blow over.
"I was able to fight off vampires in Aizen's clan and those shinigami that attacked me the first time. I think I am strong enough to fend for myself." Ichigo scowled.
Before Ichigo knew it he was being suspended in the air, extremely high in the air. Damn, how big was this place? Everyone beneath him looked significantly smaller and it occurred to him how much danger he would be in if he fell. He had no idea how he got there, but he knew he didn't get there by himself. He looked down at the man wearing the striped hat who looked the size of a bug. He had to be the one doing this, but how? He's never seen any ability like this performed in real life. Was this supposed to be some kind of telekinesis? Whatever was holding him there he couldn't get down and he was afraid of struggling with the threat of him falling to his death.
Ichigo could only watch as Grimmjow's immediate instincts to protect kicked in. He was about to lunge at Urahara at top speed and demand that he let Ichigo down, but Shinji grabbed his wrist. Grimmjow pulled hard and Shinji lost his balance and his grip on the angered vampire who was letting his temper control him. Isshin caught him by his shoulder before he toppled over, but Grimmjow was now sprinting towards Urahara in a beeline with fire in his eyes at the speed of a starved cheetah chasing a gazelle.
Urahara didn't flinch. All he did was lift an arm and Grimmjow was now stuck where he was standing mid sprint. Ichigo's soul was crushed to see that Urahara had plenty of energy to spare to pull off such a feat. He could hold the both of them back and from what he could see from high above, he didn't show any sign of struggling.
"Ichigo, being a shinigami is all about adjusting to the situation you are in, but here you are trapped and you have no idea how to get out. I can hold you here for hours and wait for you to figure out how to escape, but you still wouldn't get anywhere. Zaraki is well known for being arrogant, but his arrogance is backed up by his strength. His subordinates finding you may have been a fluke or he sent them because he was too lazy to get you himself. Their power is nothing compared to him. Don't think you can take down the final boss because you've beaten a few grunts. Shinigami work in twos, but he approached you alone. Now that he has seen what is here more shinigami are going to come. He let you and your father go out of pity. The others won't give you that luxury and from what just happened you should know that even your inner shinigami can't protect you."
Ichigo struggled yet again even though he knew it was futile. He knew that Urahara was right, but he didn't want to admit it without putting up a fight. He was getting stronger from his training, wasn't he? His inner soul wasn't able to protect him yet he was the one who was training him this entire time. Maybe his current strength was all he was capable of and he was just going to be dead weight. It looked like it was everyone's job to protect him while he just had to sit back and follow the directions.
"You aren't leading this time. You're following my rules."
Ichigo wasn't going to go down easily and he felt a rush of determination when he saw Grimmjow struggled through whatever telekinesis ability that the creepy guy in green was using on him and he was eventually able to push through whatever was holding him. It was possible to keep moving even when he was being held there, but that determination was gone as soon as it came when he saw what the ability was doing to him. It looked like he was trying to run at the bottom of the ocean. His body looked like it was about to fold over and fall to the ground, but he kept struggling to keep his body up and move forward. Even from where Ichigo floated in the air it looked like Grimmjow's body was turning blue. He could have been imagining things or he was too far away, but his fear was real. He didn't want Grimmjow to be hurting himself for something like this. He was ready to comply as long as Urahara stopped what he was doing with Grimmjow. He got the message.
He was barely able to move and what he was doing wasn't worth it and Urahara realized that. He quickly put Ichigo down to focus more on Grimmjow.
"Grimmjow, please stop, you're going to hurt yourself. I put him down so there is no need to be so angry."
Urahara released his hold and Grimmjow nearly fell over, but caught himself, not bothering to be embarrassed or to think too much about it and made his way over to Ichigo's side. He grabbed a hold of his hand and wrapped his other arm protectively around his waist as if him physically touching him would prevent anything else from happening. Grimmjow's color was returning, but Ichigo could still feel that his skin was ice cold. He squeezed him tighter hoping to donate his own warmth to the one that was using his body to protect Ichigo even if he was out of harm's way.
"Geez, you vampires are always so impulsive and temperamental. You aren't like your father at all." Urahara complained.
Grimmjow only turned his way and locked eyes with Ichigo showing that he didn't want to hear Urahara's judgments.
"So, are we all leaving that way?" Shinji asked, nearly shouting from a far, trying to get back on topic without having to get off his lazy ass.
"It's the best way. I don't really feel like trying to arrange any last second plane tickets to Germany. This way is faster and cheaper." Urahara responded ignoring the confused looks from Ichigo and Grimmjow.
Shinji looked over at Ichigo and noticed his dejected face. Ichigo could practically read what Shinji was thinking. Heck he felt like he could hear what everyone was thinking. They all pitied him and Shinji trying to speak with an upbeat attitude wasn't helping even though he knew that he was speaking that way in hopes that Ichigo will cheer up. "When do you want us to leave?"
"As soon as possible,"
"Cool, Ichigo, Grimmjow, you're going to have to pack your shit again."
"Are you kidding me? We are going now? We just got to Japan like seven chapters ago." Grimmjow complained.
Kisuke groaned. "Fine, you guys can leave tomorrow. Go pack or something. Isshin you stay here for a little bit, I need to talk to you and Shinji go make sure they get home safe."
xxx
Ichigo and Grimmjow were back in Ichigo's room. His sisters were nowhere to be found, so much for needing groceries. It seemed like Ichigo's father told them to go to a friend's house for dinner just in case the fight drifted too close to them for his comfort, now they were staying over for the night.
The two males silently folded clothes as they packed for their surprise trip to Germany. There wasn't too much to put back in their suitcases because both of them were slow to unpack when they landed. Ichigo was excited for Grimmjow to meet his friends and when Ichigo wasn't hanging out with Grimmjow he was training. Sometimes he would incorporate hanging out with Grimmjow and training. They were both basically living out of their suitcases up to this point. Ichigo was clearly upset about what was happening, but he wouldn't voice his displeasure and Grimmjow didn't mind letting his concern show on his face, but Ichigo seemed to be too wrapped up in his own thoughts to make a comment. It was obvious that he wanted to fight, and Grimmjow related with him, but he didn't want Ichigo to get hurt. At the same time he wasn't fond of seeing Ichigo's spirit knocked down like a nerdy kid in the school yard.
Grimmjow planned on finding a way to fight no matter what. They may have both been going into hiding, but if Aizen was truly the reason why the shinigami are coming after Ichigo then he needed to get rid of the Aizen threat and then worry about the shinigami later. It may mean that he has to sneak away and fight by himself, but he just wanted to skip all of this bothersome problems that Aizen was causing and skip right to the good stuff where he could spend his life with Ichigo without any outside interference. He had no idea how to get rid of him, but hiding in Germany was clearly not going to work. He needed to sort out the details, but first he needed to make sure Ichigo was safe and hopefully feeling a bit better. He missed Ichigo's fire even if it only just went out.
Getting rid of Aizen would benefit them, his family, and the entire vampire community as a bonus too. He couldn't voice his desire to fight to his significant other because he knows that he would try to stop him just like he would if their roles were reversed or even worse, he may want to find a way to fight too. Ichigo already asked for Grimmjow to turn him just so he could find Harribel. Ichigo's desire to fight was at a point of being self-destructive and it was the only reason why Grimmjow hasn't brought up changing him since then. Ichigo even tried to become a hunter. He didn't like admitting his gratitude to others, but he was grateful that the hunter kid turned him down for the same reason he did.
Ichigo's hands slumped down as he was folding. His knuckles were white enough to look like his bones would pierce his skin if he squeezed any tighter as his fingers dug into the t-shirt he was gripping. He bit the bottom of his lip and his eyes were squinted as if he was trying to hold back tears. Grimmjow was distraught, he never saw Ichigo like that before. Ichigo never seemed like the type to cry, he was the type to get angry and when he was upset about something he would usually brush it off. He talked with his dad before and he told him that Ichigo even had the tendency to act like everything was okay when they weren't and overcompensate by smiling and actually acting happy rather than his usual stubborn self. If Ichigo was acting like this that meant that he was comfortable enough to show Grimmjow his true emotions. He didn't really think about celebrating that since he was too focused on thinking of ways to make Ichigo feel better.
Grimmjow put his stuff down and crawled over to where Ichigo was sitting and wrapped his arms around him. Ichigo accepted his embrace and buried himself in Grimmjow's neck when he felt Grimmjow's warmth wrap around him. "How did things get so out of control?" Ichigo asked. It sounded like the question was mostly for himself, but Grimmjow decided to answer anyway.
"Things always get out of control when Aizen is involved." Grimmjow hummed rubbing a hand through Ichigo's soft vibrant hair. He didn't like seeing Ichigo upset, but it was rare for Ichigo to let him hold him like that and though he was upset to see Ichigo act that way part of him was satisfied just from being allowed to hold him.
"I'm so useless." Ichigo mumbled to himself.
Grimmjow pulled away and studied his face. Ichigo wouldn't meet his eyes and it was obvious that he was trying to hide his tear filled eyes from Grimmjow. The vampire involuntarily growled. He didn't like seeing Ichigo beat himself up even though he didn't deserve any of this. He didn't choose any of this. Even though he didn't like to admit it he knew that Ichigo would pick living as a normal human over living this screwed up reality even if it meant that Ichigo never would have met Grimmjow. They were in the thick of it now and he missed Ichigo being arrogant. He can't tease him when he's this upset and when he is acting like this it makes it hard to pretend that Ichigo is happy how things turned out because he was able to meet him.
"You aren't useless. You've been against vampires before you even knew that you've had powers, you've fought off shinigami, and you surprise me every day I'm with you." Grimmjow reassured, nuzzling his nose into his hair and taking a deep breath relishing in Ichigo's scent that came from his orange hair and the blood that flowed through him.
"I got kidnapped twice, twice and I was almost taken away again today. You got hurt trying to save me every single time and no matter what I do there is no way I can repay you. I don't know what you see in me when I keep holding you back." Ichigo nearly shouted.
Grimmjow was getting pissed and hunger flashed in his eyes. He tackled Ichigo to the ground and aggressively kissed his lips. Ichigo's breath hitched, but he didn't push him off. He just grabbed hold of his shirt, not pushing him away nor pulling him closer.
"You wanna know what I see in you? You fight back. Even when I need to protect you you'd fight back." Grimmjow whispered in a husky voice. "Even before you learned I was a vampire you'd fight back with me despite us not really being friends and after that you fought back knowing that I had the potential of harming you."
Grimmjow met his lips again for a brief moment. The kiss wasn't deep, but it was still passionate. "You're a fighter and you still challenge the world despite being at the disadvantage."
Grimmjow grabbed a hold of Ichigo and lifted him up from where he was sitting with incredible strength. Ichigo held back his shock and quickly wrapped his legs around him instinctually adjusting to the new position he was in and to keep himself from falling as Grimmjow's hands wrapped around him and held him in a more comfortable position. To his joy the most comfortable way he could how him was by his butt. "Words don't describe what I see in you and I'm not sure I can fully express how much I love you despite how much we've been through together, but I can try."
"Wait," Ichigo looked over Grimmjow's shoulder and realized that Grimmjow was walking him over to his bed. Grimmjow walked him over to the edge and laid him down as he towered above him, his body laid out in front of him. Ichigo's mind didn't have enough time to process what was going on. All he really figured out was that Grimmjow was now on top of him before Grimmjow captured his lips again. This kiss was more passionate then hungry like his other kisses. It was like Grimmjow was trying to prove that he actually loved Ichigo rather then saw him as a food source not that Ichigo ever thought like that before.
"Wait, are we doing this right now?" A bright pink shade has taken over Ichigo's face as he realized what was going on and what Grimmjow intended when he said those words. Grimmjow's hands sank lower and found their way under Ichigo's shirt where he stroked his hands up and down his chest.
"I can't wait anymore. Just being around you drives me crazy and every instinct in my body has been telling me to get as close to you as possible."
Ichigo's blush turned darker and Grimmjow is once again amazed by the color that took over Ichigo's face and heated up his body. It felt like his head was full of cotton, he couldn't think properly so he did what his body told him. Ichigo gripped Grimmjow's hair and pulled him closer so that he can capture his lips again. He practically tore Ichigo's shirt over his head. He didn't care to think about whether or not he damaged the clothing he was way more focused on getting to feel more of him.
He pulled away and moved further down Ichigo's body. He started to suck his chest desperately, his hands exploring his muscular body. "I love you so much that I can't control it." He said desperately between kisses and bites. He wanted to cover Ichigo's entire body in marks so that he was constantly reminded how much Grimmjow desired him.
Ichigo's mind was blank all he knew was that he wanted to feel more. He thrusted his pelvis upwards into Grimmjow's own. He hadn't realized how hard he has gotten until he felt the hot friction against the tightness of his pants. He craved more and from what he felt from Grimmjow's he could tell that he felt the same way.
He grabbed hold of Grimmjow's shirt and tore it over his head. He started to run his hands up and down his sides much like how he was doing to him. He never felt this way before. Even when he had a girlfriend he never felt the same urge to touch her as he was feeling right now. Ichigo kissed Grimmjow's neck and started to suck. Grimmjow moaned and ran his hands down further, not wanting to turn down a challenge.
He quickly undid Ichigo's belt and unbuttoned his jeans before sinking his hands below the waist line. Ichigo's breath hitched when he felt Grimmjow's calloused hands wrap around him. "Fuck," he cursed and started to work on Grimmjow's own pants.
Grimmjow grunted in approval and gave a few welcoming strokes on Ichigo's member. The other hand pulled the fabric imprisoning Ichigo's lower half and discarded it by throwing it across the room.
He scooted away from Ichigo for only a second to help him pull down the rest of his own before he quickly went back to his position of being on top of Ichigo.
"Can we go further?" Grimmjow asked.
If Ichigo was in his sane mind right now then he would have actually considered the question. He knew exactly what Grimmjow was asking and he knew the devastating result, but Ichigo was so turned on that he didn't care. All he wanted was too feel better and to feel more of him.
"Yes." Ichigo said immediately not even sounding embarrassed to allow such a tall request.
Grimmjow kissed him before getting up and leaving Ichigo cold and complaining.
"Wait, where are you going?" Ichigo asked as his mind started to function a little more around the lust.
"Hold on. I need to prepare you." Grimmjow said making a beeline for his suitcase. He rustled around in it to find what he was looking for.
"I don't care about being prepared just come back." He said shamelessly.
Grimmjow considered it for a second. He wanted to be inside of him as soon as possible, but he knew better than to do him raw. He didn't want Ichigo to get hurt even though he knew no matter what they did to prepare Ichigo beforehand he would still be in excruciating pain. This was his first time after all and just that thought made Grimmjow's dick twitch even more.
Before Grimmjow could consider it for another second he found what he was looking for. He fell back on top of Ichigo with a small bottle in his hand. Ichigo knew what Grimmjow was looking for when he said that he wanted to prepare him, but Ichigo didn't expect it to be that kind of lube. Of course Grimmjow got strawberry flavored. He didn't expect anything else from him and from the looks of it Grimmjow had amusement written all over his face. Of course even in this situation he would look for a way to tease him.
Grimmjow allowed himself to move down to Ichigo's entrance. Ichigo impatiently watched him as he poured a generous amount of lube onto his finger before sliding it in. Ichigo's breath hitched and immediately started to have second thoughts about what was going to happen next. The finger didn't hurt so much, rather it was uncomfortable. What did hurt was when the second finger slid in and started scissoring inside of him. Ichigo was about to change his mind, but before he did Grimmjow's fingers brushed against his prostate. Ichigo felt tingles all over his body and a groan escaped from his lips. Grimmjow read him like a book and thrusted his fingers against the bundle of nerves. In response Ichigo moaned even louder which only encouraged Grimmjow to pleasure him more.
He kept going and eventually he added a third finger. Ichigo was panting and Grimmjow could barely take it anymore, but he still wanted to make sure Ichigo was okay with going further.
Grimmjow pulled his fingers out which made Ichigo unintentionally whimper. He was about to ask Ichigo if he was allowed to enter, but before he could even open his mouth Ichigo encouraged him to hurry up.
Grimmjow poured a generous amount of lube on his cock and started to stroke it. He immediately wanted to get more friction on it and he was excited for what was about to come next. Grimmjow positioned himself at the entrance and stuck the head in.
Ichigo bit back a moan and Grimmjow could see the tears form in the corners of his eyes. He leaned over to kiss him as an apology, but that only seemed to hurt Ichigo more. Grimmjow was conflicted. He didn't want to move, but at the same time Ichigo's ass squeezing against him felt freaking amazing and he knew that it would feel even better if he delved in further. He decided to ask Ichigo himself.
"Are you okay?" Grimmjow asked.
Ichigo bit down on his lips and nodded his head. He tried to relax and work through the pain, taking the initiative and rocked onto Grimmjow's cock which only seemed to hurt him more as he let out a small scream before biting it back and squeezing his eyes shut. Damn, fanfiction really romanticizes this part. Grimmjow wasn't new to anal sex, but Ichigo even admitted it himself a while back that this was his first time with a guy and that he was still a virgin. He thought he was taking it slow, but it seemed he wasn't slow enough which meant that it was Grimmjow's job to make sure Ichigo had a good experience.
"Calm down. You need to relax. Let me handle it." Grimmjow said in a soothing voice. "Just take a few deep breaths."
Ichigo took Grimmjow's advice and relaxed. He felt himself open up more and Grimmjow eased into him further, grabbing a hold of Ichigo's cock and started to stimulate it. He hoped to encourage the pleasure over pain factor and it seemed to be working.
Eventually Grimmjow's balls were flush against Ichigo's ass before he even realized it. He looked over at Ichigo's face and he seemed to be taking it just fine. He was taking deep breaths and he looked like he was as composed as he could be in that position.
Grimmjow got his consent to keep going and he slowly pulled out of him before easing himself back in. He gave a few thrusts to test the waters and Ichigo only winced slightly, but eventually Grimmjow found his prostate again and pleasure washed over him. Ichigo's expression revealed everything and Grimmjow decided it was safe to pick up the pace.
He started off slowly and gradually gained momentum focusing on stimulating pleasure to Ichigo's prostate. He didn't let go of Ichigo's cock, afraid that if he did Ichigo would be more focused on the pain over the pleasure. He wasn't sure how much Ichigo was enjoying himself without touching him there at the same time.
Ichigo's body was sent into a heated frenzy. The pain still lingered since he wasn't used to what was being dealt to him, but his lust and desire made it way more bearable to the point that he was able to ignore the pain. It also helped to look at Grimmjow's face that was so focused on doing him right so that he wouldn't hurt him. He was doing a good job and he seemed to be getting plenty of pleasure himself as he tried to resist squirming and his moans filled the room along with his own. Ichigo could feel his dick inside of him throbbing, realizing that Grimmjow was going to cum. He felt less embarrassed as he climaxed first, spilling his seed on Grimmjow's stomach.
Ichigo's ass clenched tighter around Grimmjow as the man on top of him let out a strangled moan as he continued to stroke him even after he came so that Ichigo could ride the wave of pleasure. Not long after, Grimmjow pulsated inside of him and he gasped for air. Ichigo pressed his lips against his and held him closer as Grimmjow continued to thrust until he threw his head back and ripped out the loudest moan he has ever made in his entire long life. Grimmjow's seed poured inside of him and he continued to thrust to make sure none spilled out before he pulled out and collapsed on top of Ichigo.
"I love you so fucking much that I don't know what to do with myself." Grimmjow said burying his face into the crook of Ichigo's neck. He squeezed onto Ichigo tightly as he let out a deep breath that blew through Ichigo's damp, sweaty hair.
"Looks like it is my job to figure out to do with you," Ichigo said with a tired voice. "You can figure out what to do with me instead."
Grimmjow planted a kiss on Ichigo's neck where he was burying himself, "sounds good to me."
A/N: You see why I was resenting this chapter? I'm incredibly shy so make me feel better by writing a review or you can follow and favorite if you haven't yet. I'm going to go hide in a corner or something until next week.