Patience. Patience is defined as the act of power of calmly or contentedly waiting for something due. To be a patient person means to calmly wait for something. According to Jason, there are so many fucking things wrong with that statement. Be calm? How the fuck is he going to be calm when he along with the reason for existence, Sam, are sitting in a hospital room waiting for Doctor Patrick Drake to come with the test results. Contentedly waiting my ass! And Power, power to what, power to wait? Yeah right! He has no more power to wait, he has no more power left in him, whatever power he had left was utterly spent keeping himself sitting in the stool next to her bed and quietly waiting. What he really wanted to do was destroy every fucking piece of furniture in this room in order to release all of his pent up frustrations. Frustrations from losing Jake, frustrations from waiting here for news, and frustrations on what comes next. What will come next? What will the test results show? If it turns out as he hoped, and that the headaches are just that, than he would consider himself unbelievably lucky. Lucky to know that the woman he loves more than anything is healthy and well. But what will come next if the tests are bad? How bad? Cancer bad? Tumor bad? Then what? Another thought, operable or inoperable? Oh God! Will she live, will she…. 'NO, can't think that way!'. He just lost his son, and if anything were to happen to Sam, he would lose himself too. Darkness would surely claim him. If something were to happen to her, he would bury himself in his work and pray and hope that the next bullet would end his life. 'NO STOP THINKING LIKE THAT!'.

Sam could see all the emotions that crossed over Jason's face and it made her heart break. She could see how the frustrations of waiting were taking a toll on him, his body tense, his fists clenching and releasing, his breathing getting labored, and all the emotions that flickered in his eyes. He was frustrated and he was pissed and there was nothing they could do about it. They are supposed to be patiently waiting but it wasn't working out as they planned. She was frustrated too but she tried with all her might not to show it. She was sitting on the hospital bed with her feet dangling and swinging back and forth over the side of the bed. Her hands were intertwined and place on her lap to keep with from ripping her hospital gown to shreds. She had been ringing on it earlier when she was in the MRI machine so tight that she had ripped her gown at the seams. What the Hell was taking them so long? She couldn't help it, all this stress of patiently waiting was finally getting to her and before she could open her mouth to voice her thoughts out loud, Patrick Drake and Robin walked through the door with someone else. Monica.

After closing the door, Patrick stood looking rather uncomfortable in front of his patient and mob enforcer boyfriend. Clearing his throat Patrick prepared himself to tell them the results. But how? How was he going to tell them what they had found? How were they going to tell them how they had missed it in the first place? He could feel his wife standing next time, giving him strength. "Ahem… I uh… I called Dr. Quartermaine in here as a consult, if it's ok with you two?" He said looking between a worried Sam and a confused Jason.

Looking at Jason, Sam just shrugged, it didn't really matter to her, as long as everything was ok. "Um… sure…" She looked over at her former future mother in law and smiled. "Hello Monica." She had always loved the older woman. It didn't matter that she wasn't with Jason at one time, or that she was the hit and run driver, Monica was always good to her.

"Hello Sam, Jason." She gave the couple a small smile, a mixture of feelings, sadness, joy, anger, regret. They were all jumbled inside of her and she didn't know what emotion to show, so she chose to remain neutral and emotionless, for now. "I'm just here to give my second opinion."

Second opinion? Those words immediately grabbed Jason's full attention and caused his heart to ache. Why would they need a second opinion? On what? He reached over and grabbed a hold of Sam's hands, he was grateful that she intertwined them together and held on tight. This is it. Whatever happens, they will do this together. "What's wrong with Sam?" He sounded a bit choked up.

Sam looked over at Jason after hearing the tears that clouded his question. She had a feeling for a week now that something was wrong with her and as she looked back at Patrick and Robin, she now knew that something was definitely wrong. One word came to mind, one word that would sense at seeing the sad looks to their eyes, no smiles, along with a second opinion. One word that would shake up her world. "Tumor?" She voiced aloud her thought. Seeing Patrick lower his head so that he wouldn't look her in the eye, to see her emotions, he softly nodded his head causing Jason to lose his breath next to her and squeeze her hand tighter. Seeing as he won't continue, she asked another question. "Is it operable?" She watched as he lifted his eyes to hers and nodded saying yes softly causing Jason to let out the breath that he had been holding. She proceeded to take a deep breath and question. "Ok, so what do we do?"

Taking a deep breath, Patrick gave the same speech that he would give anybody with this type of diagnosis. The only problem was is that this patient wasn't just anybody, these people before him were not just anybody. They were not really his friends but they have known each other for a long time, many years. Patrick had worked on both of them at one time or another, and even then, they were never just patients. And his wife, his wife was friends with both. So how do you talk to them as if they were regular patients? "Normally… we would operate to remove the tumor and the patient would go a few rounds of radiation therapy to kill the remaining tumor cells. As long as there are no side effects the patient should be just fine."

"Ok…." Sam looked over and smiled slightly at Jason, showing him her strength. "When do we schedule the surgery?" She asked turning back to Patrick.

Taking a deep breath and some more strength from his wife, Patrick tried to keep his emotions from showing. "Well… there's a problem…"

"Wait, I don't understand, what problem? You just said that it's a tumor, it's operable and after a few rounds of radiation therapy I should be fine. So what is the problem?"

Turning to Monica, Patrick wasn't sure how to say this next sentence. How was he going to tell them…. "Patrick, what's the problem?" Sam had broken through his thoughts. Turning back to her he spoke. "According to your blood work that we ran, we found that your HCG levels were high."

"What does that mean?" Sam looked between all the people in the room. She had a feeling of what that meant but she was afraid to voice her thoughts. Looking at the fallen look in Jason's eyes, she was exactly sure what to feel, but she knew it wouldn't be good. And Patrick's next words confirmed it…. "You're pregnant."

Pregnant? But how? Clearly she knew how, but after everything that her body had been through, how was this possible? "I don't understand… I mean how far along am I? We took a test over a month ago and it showed up negative…. How is this possible?" Her head spun in many directions, Jason, Robin, Patrick, Monica and back to Jason. She noticed that he was unbearably quite, why?

"Without doing a sonogram and just going on the readings from the HCG levels, I would say that you are about 5 or 6 weeks. It does state in your chart that your test that was taken on Valentine's day was negative, so you had gotten pregnant some time after that…"

"What about the explosion?"

"Since we saw the pregnancy test taken, we didn't feel that you needed another one. We only ran it for toxins and that's how we found out that you were drugged, there were traces of Chloroform in your system. And we obviously missed the tumor when we ran the CAT scan afterwards due to the size and position of your tumor. But the facts remain the same, you have a brain tumor and you're pregnant."

It was so quite that you could hear a pin drop. Her free hand, the one that wasn't holding on to Jason as if he was a lifeline, had unconsciously found its way to her stomach, caressing it, loving it already. He was right, the facts did remain the same but what now what. What could she possibly do now? Have the surgery? Radiation therapy? "How will the surgery and radiation therapy affect the baby?" She heard Jason call her name and she ignored it, she knew what he was thinking and for once it didn't matter.

Pregnant? Tumor? Operable? Radiation therapy? Each word had a different effect to his emotions. Pregnant: elation, joy, bliss. Tumor: grief, regret, heartache. Operable: contentment, gladness, health. Radiation therapy: sickness, likelihood for survival. But what happens when you mix them up. Each ingredient blended carefully into a pot, a pot made up of Sam's existence. What can happen if Sam goes through the surgery? He knew the answer, and he knew what her answer would be, he just hoped that he could talk to her to make the right choice. The only choice, the selfish choice, that would keep her forever by his side. "Sam…"

Ignoring Jason again, she kept her focus on Patrick as she unsuccessfully tried to pry her hand from Jason's grip. "Will I lose the baby?"

Choosing to ignore that question because Patrick knew that she would forgo the surgery if it meant her baby's life, he tried to reason with her. He knew Jason's choice as well, anything to save Sam's life. "Sam, if you don't have this surgery, the tumor will grow, the migraines will only get worse, and there is a chance that you and/or this baby will lose your lives. My recommendation is to have the surgery and start on radiation therapy as soon as possible…"

"But that could kill my baby…."

"Sam…."

"No Jason, I'm not having this surgery if there is even a small chance that my baby… OUR baby could die." She looked at Patrick. "What is the baby's survival rate?" When she saw Patrick avoid her eyes and look apologetically at Jason, she spoke more forcefully. "Don't look at him!" She snapped. "LOOK AT ME! TELL ME! What is the baby's survival rate?"

"Slim to none…" Words that Patrick would forever regret, especially seeing the pain that clouded Sam's eyes causing the tears that she had been holding break free.

"Sam…" Monica chose to interrupt. She had been ecstatic to hear the news of Sam's pregnancy but was entirely saddened about her diagnosis. She had just lost a grandchild and was about to gain another, when this devastating news came forth. She waited for Sam to turn towards her, her heart breaking at the tears that flowed down her cheeks as well as those that formed in her son's blue eyes. "Sweetheart… you're pregnant, which means that it could happen again. You Sam, can create another life, another child, even with your infertility, there are new procedures that could help. You have the power to create a new life, a new child, but Sam… no one has the power to create another you…" She reached over and took her free hand and gave her a gentle squeeze along with a reassuring smile. "After this is all done, after the surgery and after the therapy, and hopefully after you finally make me a mother in law, you and my son can start again, start over, build the family that you have always wanted…"

"At what expense Monica… at the expense of my child…" Sam released her hold on both mother and son and placed them protectively over her abdomen, as if shielding it from prying hands, hands that are waiting to take it away from her. "I never, NEVER thought that this would happen to me…" Looking back at Patrick. "What would you do? What would you do if I was Robin?"

"I would tell her to have the surgery." Patrick spoke without hesitation. He would rather have his wife alive and healthy by his side, he would never risk her health, as cruel as that may sound. He loved her too much.

Nodding, Sam looked over at Robin. "What about you? Would you have this surgery knowing that your baby's survival rate is slim to none?"

Robin first looked to Patrick then to Jason. Sympathy and apologies plagued her. Shaking her head she replied. "No." A firm but quiet whisper. She would do the same thing that Sam was doing, she would protect her baby at all costs.

"I have waited SO long for this baby and I am going to do every in my power to protect it, whatever it takes…."

Jason couldn't remain silent any longer. "Whatever it takes? Are you kidding me?"

"Jason, I am not having this surgery. I am not going to do anything that risks the baby's life…."

"What about your life? Huh Sam? What about our life?"

"We can get through this…."

"WHAT ABOUT ME!" Jason couldn't help but shout as he abruptly stood, causing the stool that he had previously occupied to go sailing behind him, hitting the wall with a loud thud. "I CAN'T…" He slammed his fist against his chest repeatedly. "I CAN'T GET THROUGH THIS! WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO IF SOMETHING WERE TO HAPPEN TO YOU? HUH SAM? WHAT THE FUCK… am I supposed to do if you die?" His mother called him to interrupt but he wouldn't let her. "How am I supposed to live without you Sam?" He spoke softer not bothering to stop or wipe the tears that broke free. The feelings were too much to hold and the damn broke free, the damn of blinding tears. "I can't…. I can't do this…. I can't bear to watch you go through these migraines knowing that they are only going to get worse as your tumor grows. I can't bear to see you in so much pain that you pass out from it. I can't…. I can't bear to think of a life without you Sam. YOU are my whole world. You are the center of my existence and you are the air that I breathe. Without you…. Without you, I may as well let the next bullet take me."

"Jason…" His name was whispered in agony. She didn't want to think about dying, she didn't want to think about leaving him behind. She only wanted happy thoughts, thoughts of promises, thoughts of life and love.

"I can't Sam…" With his head lowered in shame at his weakness, he silently came to her and took a hold of her hand, placing it over his heart. He lowered himself to the seat, ignoring the sniffles around him, ignoring their saddened tear stained eyes. No one mattered, no one besides the woman in front of him. "I'm not strong enough Sam. People see me as this cold hearted enforcer an emotionless killer, but you… you are the only one that sees the true me, you are the one that knows my thoughts and sees my feelings, without you… without Sam…. I will be exactly what these people say about me. Without you in this world and in my life, I will be cold, dark, alone… I will be an emotionless killer. I need you Sam…" He couldn't go on, he choked on the sob that he had been trying desperately to hold, his head fell on her lap and he cried. He cried for her, for them, for their baby.

"Don't you want this baby?" She whispered. She was torn, seeing her strong enforcer cry tore her to pieces, pieces that she desperately tried to hold on to for his sanity.

Lifting his head, not bothering at wiping the tears Jason answered. "I want this baby more than anything Sam, but… not if it means that I lose you. I will be fine as long as I have you…."

"But I won't…." Her broken whisper interrupted him. "I won't be fine, I won't be able to live with myself if anything happened to this baby. Don't you see Jason, if I have this surgery and lose this baby, than I will lose myself. I won't be able to survive this, it means that I have failed, failed this baby and failed as a mother. I will only be a shell of the woman that you once loved. I can't… I can't do this."

"I love you Sam, I…. I don't want to lo…lose you." His head dropped to her lap again and he cried.

She gently ran her fingers through his hair, her tears dropping on his head, thinking of a way to make this better, thinking of something to say that would make him feel better about this. She leaned over and placed a small kiss to his head. Pulling back, her small hands framed his face and lifted it to meet her eyes. "You won't." It was a vow. She leaned in and placed a soft kiss to his lips, tears mixing, no longer hers or his but theirs. "I promise…" She whispered as she pulled back to keep a hold of his baby blue eyes. "I promise to fight Jason, I promise to fight with EVERYTHING that I have, I will make it through his…" Broken words came through her sniffles. "I WILL make it through this, I will fight, for us, for me, for this baby and for you. I promise." She vowed and kissed him again. "I promise." She repeated and deepened the kiss. "I promise…" She was comforted only when his arms wrapped around her tiny frame, comforted by the strength and warmth that he gave her, comforted by their unity. She would fight and she was thankful that she wouldn't fight alone.