6:25 pm.

Emily hung her head in her hands. She wanted to cry, but crying was a sign of weakness. She was not weak.

"Em, talk to me. What are you thinking?" Emily could hear the concern laced in Aaron's voice.

Emily stood up and looked Aaron in the eye. She could see the pain there, and she hated herself for putting it there.

"I'm sorry, Aaron. I never meant to hurt you. I wish none of this ever happened." She forced a smile and started leaving his office.

Emily was halfway across the room when she felt Aaron pull her arm, forcing her to stop and turn towards him.

"None of what? Emily, don't punish me for something Kirkman said." Emily closed her eyes. She could feel Aaron staring at her waiting for her to respond.

Emily opened her eyes and took Aaron's hand that wasn't still holding her arm.

"Do you have a lot of work left to do?" Emily asked quietly. Aaron nodded in response, sadness settling on his face.

Emily gave him a soft kiss. "Find me after, ok?" She gave him a small smile. She hoped he understood. This was too much for her. She needed a break from this conversation, but she wanted to continue it later.

Aaron nodded and gave her small smile.

6:35 pm.

Emily was slowly walking back to her office. She was emotionally drained. She could really use a drink.

She noticed lights on in another office which was unusual for this time of night. Normally, by 6 everyone would leave, especially on days with no national emergencies. She popped her head in the door.

"Hey new girl, you're here late." Kendra looked up from her desk and smiled.

"Just getting ready to head out, actually."

"Do you have a quick minute?" Emily asked. She knew Kendra couldn't keep a secret to save her life, but she also knew Kendra would know the right thing to do.

"For the Chief of Staff? Do I have a choice?" Kendra's tone was light. She made Emily laugh and put her at ease. She closed the door and sat on Kendra's couch.

"Funny," Emily's voice got softer, "How do you get over something that you did for the country but hurt you personally?" Emily looked up Kendra and saw her face fall.

"I'm sorry," Emily started to get up, "it probably doesn't even make any sense."

"No," Kendra exclaimed as she started to move towards the couch, "I'm sorry. I just wasn't expecting a personal question."

Emily sat back down. "If you don't feel comfortable…"

"No, please!" Kendra sat next to Emily. "It's hard. I know what you mean. It's definitely difficult." Emily could tell that Kendra was treading carefully. Emily was, after all, her boss.

"The president asked me to do something. It was a matter of national security. Of course I did it, but…" Emily trailed off. She started squeezing her fingers again. "I really hurt people that I care about. I just…"

Kendra nodded, listening intently. "Well, they will just need to regain your trust...and if they can't understand why you did what you did, maybe it's just not meant to be."

Emily smiled and glanced at Kendra. "I don't think they're the problem. It's me. I can't forgive myself."

Kendra squeezed Emily's hand, "Ah, that's the trick. No harm, no foul. Don't beat yourself up. You're good at your job. Everyone knows that, and everyone can see it, so if it doesn't bother them, it shouldn't bother you."

"You're right, thanks," Emily said, standing up, "I won't keep you any longer. Have a good night."

7:30 pm.

Emily sat in her office going over everything Kendra said. She appreciated the advice, but she didn't feel like Kendra understood, which was expected since Emily didn't give her any details.

She knew she should be going through the stack of files on her desk that her deputy pulled for tomorrow, but she couldn't bring herself to do it. She knew they would be the wrong ones. She'd have to put them away and pull the correct ones. She would just have to come in early tomorrow.

"Hey," Aaron called from the door, startling Emily.

"Hey," she said softly, standing from her desk and moving to the couch. "You can come in," she said with a small laugh. Aaron laughed and moved to sit next to her.

"You ok?" Aaron asked as he put a hand on her knee.

Emily nodded. She wished she could tell him what she thought, but she didn't want to be weak, especially in front of Aaron.

"You need to talk to me, Em." She expected him to be annoyed, but his voice was soft, filled with concern and a little hurt. She nodded again, squeezing her fingers. He gave her knee a tiny squeeze. She looked up at him and smiled sadly. She hoped he couldn't see the tears in her eyes.

"I'm just so sorry, Aaron. I didn't mean to hurt you, and I wish I could go back and change it." To her surprise, Aaron laughed gently.

"I know, Em. You've told me three times." Emily smiled at his light tone.

"Tell me what's going on? What are you thinking? I'm not going to get mad." His voice was so soft. She realized in that moment what she felt for the past year.

"I...I just feel so guilty. I know my feelings shouldn't matter. I'm not trying to play the victim, but I hate myself for hurting you, and I just want everything to get better," Emily sniffled without looking at Aaron.

"Hey," Aaron replied softly, "I don't blame you. You were following orders."

"That's just it, Aaron," Emily responded loudly as she stood and faced Aaron, "I just followed orders. I knew it was wrong. I knew it wasn't you. I knew we had something, and I still put everything at risk to follow orders, like a … robot. I'm just Kirkman's robot." Aaron laughed at her and stood, grabbing her arms.

"You're definitely not Kirkman's robot." Aaron laughed again. "I think you just wanted to prove that I was innocent...and maybe get some inside dirt on me."

Emily could tell Aaron was trying to lighten the mood. She sniffled again. "I just don't know how to make this right. Tell me how to make this right." Her voice was soft.

"Forgive yourself, Em. I have," Aaron whispered in her ear as he wrapped his arms around her and held her close to him.