A/N: It should also be noted that this story does not necessary effect anything in either Parable or TLADOCS. It is meant as a stand alone, completely separate.
Definitely Not Clones
Parable
Jane fell into some kind of portal from hell, nearly drowned by something between liquid and solid, and came out both with her lungs full of the metallic shit and covered in muck. Add the pounding migraine into the mix and it still didn't cover a fraction of the results on her from that fucking puddle.
Instead of a simple break through the surface and into the dark and stale smelling cavern or - and she couldn't believe she thought it - a pack of vorcha ready to shoot her in the unprepared ass, she ended up staring down the barrel of a much more impressive gun. The hand attached to it led her eyes up to a woman who seemed as equally stunned by the nightmare puddle's sudden regurgitation of a living person, but Jane knew better than to test the sprawled woman's trigger finger when she heard the shuffling and creaking of armor further into the shadows.
Figures that she'd have backup. Just my luck.
Her barriers would have saved her the surprise bullet from the dark haired woman, but her friends would give Jane lots of new holes before she could get her shotgun out, leveled, and open fire. Sure, she could probably use her unnerving Leviathan-gifted mind controlling biotics to turn them on each other, but that took time. Time that would give this woman and her team reason to shoot her ass.
Talking she could do, but when Garrus surfaced behind her choking and gasping for breath, her mind immediately jumped back to the ardat-yakshi monastery. Had she been just a second slower, he'd probably have sunk too far for her to dive to and drag his ass out. Like hell was she going to keep her back turned to him when he could be floundering in this weird tar-like fluid.
The bullet ricocheting off the stone beneath the shallow pool did nothing to stop her, and she might have thrown a rude gesture over her shoulder if not for her urgency. The woman seemed to pause, considering, but, for all Jane had known, she might have just been lining up a fatal shot. Either way, she zeroed in on only her mate, currently climbing out of the muck with weak arms. Hefting his heavy ass out, it was only then that two beams of light falling over them both drew her out of the trance that, stupidly, left herself and Garrus completely out in the open and their backs turned.
At least three, then. This woman and her two cronies.
As she'd guessed, he immediately let out a bassy sound of threat and she practically felt his mind racing with the same statistics as her own moments before. With him - and his own weird Leviathan thing that enhanced his speed and reflexes - they could team up, she dominating one with her biotics and he drawing his weapon in a flash and firing, but it was too risky. All it took was one to catch her biotics flaring and this woman's team would have a perfect shot on her.
What she didn't expect was the determined look on the woman's features to fall. Confusion replaced the steel in her violet eyes, which only made Jane wonder what the fuck they fell - surfaced - into here. If even the ones holding weapons to them were just as flabbergasted by their sudden materialization, then this conversation seemed to be on the fast track to shit hitting the fan.
Worse, yet, she had no idea how to respond when the woman snapped her slack jaw back into place and said, "What?"
Now Jane was lost as she lowered her brows and gave this heavily armored - huh, is that an N-7 insignia? - woman an incredulous look. "Huh? 'What' what? How am I supposed to answer that?"
Had Jane cared to be heard more than have a gun pointed at her, she'd have pushed, but in this situation, she noticed real quick that this N-7's attention wasn't on her at all. In fact, she couldn't seem to take her wide eyes off of Jane's husband. If not for the approaching shadows, Jane would use this distraction - and really considered screwing diplomacy - but the woman's squad soon stepped into sight.
"Oh, for crying…" Groaning, Jane pinched the bridge of her nose, closed her eyes in irritation, and gritted her teeth. How her luck could be so bad, she had no fucking clue, but standing before her were faces she damn well knew weren't possible. At least, not two of them, for obvious reasons.
Surrounding the woman, guns raised and body language loud and clear about their readiness to fire, was a ghost, an obvious copy, and a man that should be on Earth right about now. Instead, she stood at the end of the barrels of a clearly alive - and proverbially kicking -Thane, a very different looking Garrus, and a James Vega who stuck out like a sore thumb because he definitely didn't belong there. Then again, they're all clones, so Jane might as well have been trying to convince the idiot Council of imminent danger for all the good her predictions were worth right now. She had no doubt of who they were posing as because she would know the faces of men she's commanded, lived in a tin space can with, and fought beside against horrors that would make many piss their pants.
The other Garrus asked the obvious of his commander first as he leaned in and spoke just above a whisper. Too bad the cavern was so deathly silent that Jane easily caught it whether he cared for her to hear or not. "Shepard, is that… Spirits, what's happening?"
Shepard? What. The. Fuck. She doesn't even look like me! Talk about half assing it!
Unsure whether to be offended by the lack of similarities or upset by finding yet another clone stealing her name, she scowled and threw her hands up. "If this is another clone thing, I'm out." She motioned a hand to the apparent 'Shepard' of this group of copies. "Just shoot me now because I'm not dealing with that shit again."
As if she couldn't be more pissed off, the Shepard ignored her. Hell, she even turned to address clone Garrus without ever breaking those shocked eyes from Jane and her mate - as if they'd just disappear if she stared intently enough. In this case, Jane actually wished it were possible to save herself from this fucked situation from the damn Twilight Zone.
The woman shrugged at her own Garrus' question. "I don't know, this is all new for Jane."
"Jane," her own Garrus said with a cautious tone to his lowered voice. "I don't think these are clones. Something's… off."
She didn't quite hear him over the almost audible snap of attentions back towards them, this time aimed at herself. More 'whats' echoed off the cavern walls as both Garrus and Shepard's clones looked at them, one with wide eyes and the other slack mandibles. James, somewhat behind the two, made a grunt of a 'huh', but Thane emitted no sound.
At least that's right. Even if they fucked up Garrus, or didn't fuck him up. I'm too confused to think about that.
"Can someone explain to me what the fuck is going on, or are you just going to shoot us and save me the headache-"
"Don't shoot her." The snarl mixing with her mate's voice made it obvious enough that he's way more on edge than he let on at her side, but, he's keeping it bottled until given a reason to act. At least, for now, she had control of the situation. Strange as it was.
"Jane…" The woman flicked her violet eyes over Jane, quick, but clearly a soldier taking inventory of a target. "Shepard?"
Jane made a huff of surprise and chuckled softly, giving her husband a look of 'where have these people been?'. "I guess? Though I don't really use that name anymore. You know… since the war?"
When she said anything about the damn war - one that these people would certainly know about if they weren't actually clones - the woman's dark brows twitched slightly. "The Reapers haven't made it here, yet." While she didn't holster her weapon, this Shepard did lower it enough that Jane physically felt Garrus become less tense - but years knowing his tells could led her to imagine it - as the heaviness in the air around her seemed to lessen. Not by much, but enough that she didn't feel like they all balanced on a tightrope ready to snap at a slight wind or misspoken word.
As the others behind follow suit, the James Vega cleared his throat and the sound bounced off the walls, amplifying enough to catch everyone's attention. "Uh, will somebody tell me what the hell is going on?"
"We've stepped into a fucked up-" She started to give her own theory - her own frustration about this particular situation - but Garrus cut her off as sighed behind her. She could hear his mandibles click against his jaw in agitation before he spoke.
"Only the humans know what that means, but I get what you're saying." He rumbled and took the extra step to be at her side where she could finally see him. Once at his place by her side, he turned his attention to the woman and asked, "You say the Reapers aren't here, yet?"
The other Shepard's mouth quirked into a half smile, and Jane started to feel like maybe she and her mate weren't about to be shot by what seemed like a pack of lunatic clones - or whatever they believed themselves to be. "Nope," the woman said with a playful pop to the word that had Jane mirroring her expression.
It's certainly better than glaring me down with a gun or gaping like a fish at Garrus.
A silence filled the air and Jane looked to her mate with a raised brow in a 'please, do go on'. Whatever had his mandibles shifting against his chin and a low hum reverberating from his throat must be good if it took him this long to work out how to say it. "I think we're proving the string theory right now."
God, let's hope the clones are at least smarter than me with this shit or we'll be here forever.
The James, now at the woman's side, looked between Garrus and his commander. If she didn't know any better, Jane gave that look of 'will someone please explain so I don't have to ask' more than a handful of times herself in her life, so she instantly recognized it making its appearance on James' own face. Her proof came when he rubbed his neck with the hand not holding his weapon at a resting position. "Uh, what?"
The dark haired Shepard gave a slight nod - as if in agreement to what Garrus concluded - before looking over to her James. "Don't you recognize him? It's Garrus. Not our Garrus, obviously, but a Garrus… an older Garrus." Oh boy, that'll get him riled up, lady. "And she's another Shepard." Vakarian - hell, forget it. With a much slower shift to her Garrus at her right, the woman and turian shared a meaningful look that even Jane understood from her own experience with her own Garrus - weird cloning shit aside. "One who's survived the war."
"At least you put it that way. Too many claim we 'won' the war, but that's a load of horseshit. We barely made it out alive." At that thought, Jane snorted uncomfortably at all the eyes zeroed in on her, as if she'd grown another head or something. "Minus a few pieces, though." Scanning the group that still seemed stuck back on the previous topic, she sighed. "Can you stop staring at me like my armor suddenly disappeared?"
At least the other Shepard moved, gesturing at her weapon without giving any signs of actually taking aim again. Because that's really what I need right now, to have eyes boring holes in me while their commander actually does put holes in me. "I'm going to put this away now." About damn time. Been standing with our asses hanging out all this time, lady. "Are we good?"
Thankful that she both lost the intent stares and had the chance to finally not have the threat of being shot at any second, Jane nodded. "We're good. Not like we'd get all that far being outnumbered if you're men are as good as mine."
The woman's Garrus flicked his mandibles and muffled a cough into his fist as her James grinned at the opportunity. Before he could say anything lewd in response, his commander swatted his abdomen. Unafraid to let them know she understood her double meaning, Jane smirked at what could have been.
She could have at least let me hear it. Prude.
"They are." The Shepard seemed more relaxed than when Jane initially climbed out of the muck, as she stepped forward and offered her hand, a light, but friendly, smile on her face. She finally made her introduction as Jane took her hand, giving it a firm military shake. "Dawn Shepard. Commander, Spectre, yadda, yadda, ya. I'm sure you know the spiel."
"Jane Vakarian, formerly Shepard. Uh… Former Commander and Spectre?" Jane glanced to her Garrus and saw him shrug. 'Tell her whatever you want', he said without ever speaking a word. "Yeah, let's leave it at that. Lots of shit happening after a war and all." Jane noticed that Dawn doesn't seem to consider the differences in their titles much as she releases her hand "So, Shepard or Dawn?"
The woman then held out a hand to Garrus and chuckled. Jerking her head in the direction of her own Garrus, she said, "Only he calls me Dawn." Seeming to consider it, she breathed deep and made a sucking noise with her mouth. "But it it's less confusing for you… I'll survive the indignity."
Jane laughed when the woman smirked. "Shepard it is. Wouldn't want you to think of your lover every time I call your name."
Hand in Garrus', mid greeting, Shepard looked back, eyes sparking with something that made Jane grin deviously at the obvious reason. Jane didn't break the moment and let her own dirty prediction be said by Shepard instead. "Maybe if you weren't an alternate version of myself."
Jane laughed as her husband made an exasperated huff, ending the handshake. I knew I liked this woman! Thane, in the back, emitted a cough that sounded more surprised than from any actual need to clear his lungs or throat. Shepard's Garrus just stood there, a quiet still over him as he seemed to still be examining the two alternate versions of himself and his lover.
James, however, lit up at the idea - and, let's face it, most likely mental image - and he grinned. "Might make it more interesting, Ídolo."
"My translator just glitched." Jane's Garrus blatantly ignored Shepard's shit eating grin and turned to James. "What did you call her?"
With Garrus' back turned, she gave the woman a rough elbow nudge and smirk as she twitched her brows. Like schoolgirls, the two shared widened grins, and Jane started to consider how much more she and Shepard could do before her mate just threw his hands up and gave in. It usually didn't take her long to get him there alone, but with someone else? It'd be a record.
"Ídolo." He shrugged as if it were obvious.
Well, in a way, to Jane it was, and she almost felt bad that Garrus doesn't know the connection between a lot of human languages and how translation can usually be made by comparing similarities. That would mean that she couldn't have fun with his confusion, however, and she wouldn't give that up.
"It means Idol." He waited until Garrus gave a nod of understanding before he turns to Jane. "But I probably call you Lola, huh?"
"Pretty much."
"Just how many things are different here?" Garrus seemed to be aiming his question at no one, more just a verbal musing, but Jane looked to Shepard all the same.
Even if he didn't expect answers, he and Jane got one all the same with the way the entire group seemed to shift a bit on their feet. Thane finally stepped closer from his slightly withdrawn position to stand beside the unscarred Garrus.
Shepard gave her men a glance before answering ambiguously, "As much as I could manage, but probably not enough." She paused, eyes going distant as she tilted her head to the side as if hearing voices in the silent cavern. She then pressed hard against her brows - much like Jane would when overwhelmed during the war.
Whatever the woman's suffering, her team seemed to know, and watched her like hawks. The situation started to feel like these people were amping up to strike like a pack of cornered, wild varren, and she damn sure wasn't giving them the chance to catch her with her pants down again. If they pounced into action, she and Garrus wouldn't hesitate to return fire.
Dawn righted herself in Jane's peripheral and continued. "I'm not sure how you two got here, but you're here now…"
Jane slowly returned to Shepard, knowing Garrus had a steady eye on the anxious men.
Shepard motioned behind her and into the shadows, most likely in the direction of their planned exit. "It might not be a bad idea to compare notes before we figure out how to get you back to your own universe… or whatever."
"Right." Jane gave a quick nod before fidgeting because of the uncomfortable stickiness on her undersuit because of the strange orb's liquid. "But before we do any of that, I need a shower and some clean clothes. My panties are riding up into my crack and I'm hungry as hell."
TLADOCS
Dawn snorted softly at Jane's comment before lifting a hand to her ear, opening the channel to the Normandy. "EDI, please send the shuttle to our location and inform Dr. Chakwas I'd like for her to meet us in the hangar."
"I don't understand. Who are they, why are they here? If she's one of us … it doesn't make sense," Jane said, her shaky voice reaching all new levels of 'freaked the fuck out'—not the flesh and blood woman standing next to Dawn, but the disembodied voice in her head. "How did she live through the war, why isn't she stuck inside your head, too?"
Dawn took a steadying breath, doing her best to shove down the wave of panic and confusion Jane and the other Shepards threw her way and thought, "How the hell should I know?"
Damn this was going to get real confusing real fast. She waited for EDI's confirmation before sweeping her arm out toward the exit. Jane slapped her hands together, giving her palms a vigorous rub and started walking. The new-older Garrus—Garrus version two? Old Man Garrus—ha, that'd probably get her ass kicked, if not by him than by Jane … what the hell did she call him? Vakarian? Mr. Vakarian? Mr. and Mrs. Vakarian? Gods … marriage. Whatever, she'd figure it out later; the other Garrus gave her one last narrow-eyed glance before following his wife, his head moving on a swivel the entire time.
"Tell me the showers on the Normandy are one of those things that stayed the same," Jane called back, glancing over her shoulder.
"Why wouldn't they be?" Jane scoffed, giving Dawn the mental image of an eye roll before changing direction again. "If it's so confusing, just call her Jane V. and him Other Garrus."
As much as the notion amused her, Dawn doubted it'd go over very well. She thought, "Jane V. might work, but I don't think we're getting away with calling either Garrus 'Other Garrus.'"
Smiling to herself, she made her way toward the tunnel's opening while giving the area one last pass over with her flashlight. It seemed the arrival of the newcomers shutdown the persistent reaper visions, at least. Remembering the other woman—hell, she'd think of her as Jane V.—said something, Dawn glanced at her and responded, "As far as we know, the Normandys are the same. Maybe a couple of new faces, and people in different places than you'd expect."
Urgency and hope washed over the connection to Jane. "We need to find out what she did differently. Maybe there's something there we can use."
"It's why we're going back to the Normandy, Jane," Dawn thought, pushing back against the mile-a-minute, rollercoaster ride of thoughts and emotions. "I really need you to take it easy on me right now. You're not the only one disturbed by this situation, and I need to focus."
"Good, and I could use some clothes. Unless you want me to walk around your ship naked." The corner of Jane V.'s mouth lifted up in a sly smile and she chuckled. Her gaze shifted to her husband when he grunted—a reproachful, familiar sound for Dawn—and Jane V. shrugged. "And I guess some for him, too."
"I'm sure we can find something." Dawn turned her attention to Garrus—her Garrus, wondering if it were possible for a turian to die from shock. She cocked an eyebrow at him, but he only shook his head in response.
He fell in at her right, Thane at her left, and James just a few feet behind her. As they all reached the tunnel, it became awkwardly clear they couldn't continue on in their current formation. One side or the other would have to give, allowing strangers to walk at their backs. She didn't much care for the idea herself.
"They're not strangers. Not really. She's us and he's Garrus." Jane seemed to shrug. "That's all that really matters, isn't it?"
"Is it?" Dawn thought, hoping Jane proved to be right, fighting the urge to remind Jane of all the times she and the other Shepards were less than kind to Dawn.
Scraping her teeth over her lip she looked around at the strange group and lifted an eyebrow, turning her attention back to Jane. "Thane and James take the lead, you and me in the middle, those two walk drag? Once we get past this short stretch, we can move shoulder to shoulder, but we'll have to start single-file."
Jane V. shrugged. "I'm cool with it. Not like I'm not used to Garrus staring at my ass." Her eyes widen and she grinned with childlike mischief. "And we can girl talk this way."
Jane scoffed, earning her a twitch of Dawn's lips. "Girl talk? Is she serious?"
"Merely watching your six, Jane," the other Garrus said.
Jane V. snorted at her husband's remark—another familiar sound for Dawn, only one she was used to hearing coming from herself. She smiled, the feeling not quite reaching her core, but she felt grateful for the other woman's easy going nature either way; it certainly helped to ease the tension. Her gaze slid to Garrus, and she tried not to clench her jaw when she found him and Thane sharing a the look. She knew what the look meant, of course. It had only a little to do with them not trusting the weird anomalies in their presence, and a whole hell of a lot to do with them expecting her to break down at any moment.
Thane, at least, had the decency to look abashed when she caught his gaze and held it. He tucked his hands behind his back and dipped his head to her. "As you wish."
"Works for me." James shrugged, moving into the tunnel opening.
With mandibles flat against his face, Garrus finally nodded his head before tilting it toward the tunnel, silently telling her to get going. She waited for Thane to step in behind James before following him. Glancing over her shoulder as the parade started to march, she saw the others fall into line. Garrus caught her gaze, just barely visible from the glare of his visor and the ambient light castoff from the flashlights. She swore the ice blue of his stare somehow became just a touch colder.
"It always does when he's thinking about me." The same old sorrow painted Jane's words with nearly visible shades of gray.
"Gotta say …" Jane V. glanced over her shoulder before turning her attention back to Dawn. "Definitely feels like being led to the gallows here."
"No one's going to bother either of you unless you bother them first." Turning her attention forward, Dawn spoke loud enough for those behind her to hear.
"Define 'bother,'" Jane V. said, her tone laced with playfulness.
"Let's not test their definition." The raspier, slightly deeper tone of the older Garrus' voice reached Dawn's ears.
"And him … what the hell happened to him?" Jane paused, and Dawn could feel her considering the differences, comparing the older Garrus to every other version of the turian she'd ever met. "Looks like Garrus, walks like Garrus, sounds … mostly like Garrus … but there's definitely something going on inside his head and it has nothing to do with how FUBAR this situation is."
"I'd be willing to bet it's not all too different from your own definition, considering …." She cleared her throat and rolled her shoulders. "So, uh, the war is over for the two of you … how long ago did it end?"
"Ugh, math—" Jane V. began only to trail off when her husband's voice filled the air,.
"Three years, four months, and twenty-eight days." The other Garrus finished the statement for her, his tone matter-of-fact.
"So that's it, then." A heavy, laden silence stretched between Jane's last words and the next. "Life after the Crucible. It's possible."
"So … twenty-one eighty-nine? Twenty-one ninety?" Dawn asked, doing her best to ignore the swarm of emotions coming from the horde in her head … and maybe a little from herself.
The response came from the older Garrus again, "In Earth cycles, the war technically ended August sixteenth, twenty-one eighty-six."
"So… twenty-one ninety. Why? What year is it here?" Jane V.'s wary tone reminded Dawn she needed to watch what she said and tread the waters carefully.
She lifted her shoulders in an exaggerated shrug, hoping the gesture translated well enough in the shadows. "It's only twenty-one eighty-five. Welcome to history."
Jane V. made a razzing sound. "God, I wish I was thirty-one again. Well, minus the whole 'the reapers are coming' thing."
"And no one listening, no matter how loud you yell … yeah." Dawn glanced over her shoulder, meeting Jane V.'s gaze as she quirked her lips with her sarcasm. "Good times."
The other woman hummed in agreement, nodding her head. "Try asking for vacation time. They act like you're the only Spectre." She glanced over her shoulder at her husband, Dawn assumed. "Spectres."
Dawn's gaze trailed to the other Garrus, a wide grin spreading across her face as pride washed over her. Mentally rolling her eyes, she reminded herself she didn't actually know the turian, and he sure as hell didn't know her. She schooled her features and nodded. "Congratulations?" She couldn't help but notice her Garrus' mandibles flaring in curiosity.
"Good. Good for him." The feelings coming from Jane, reasonably filled with bittersweet hope, echoed her own.
"Thanks. Though, I'm pretty sure they were aiming to try and reign their problem child in." The older turian jerked his head toward his wife. Rumbling in amusement, the sound barely pitched loud enough for the confines of the tunnel to carry it to her ears.
Jane snorted softly in the back of Dawn's mind, finally starting to wind down and relax a little herself. At least for the time being. Thank the gods, maybe Dawn could actually breathe for a few minutes.
"Or, maybe, Garrus Vakarian in any universe really is just that damn good." Dawn turned back to watch her footing as the tunnel widened, opening back out into the more recently used area of the mine.
"See!" Jane V.'s voice pitched high with vindication. "Someone agrees with me! Thank you."
Dawn glanced over her shoulder in time to catch the other woman waving at her back, and she smiled. "Figures. I'm sure they're a little different, but all in all … same stubborn turian, hellbent on devaluing himself—unless it's in jest."
"They all are."
Her Garrus chuffed, flicking his mandibles at her when she met his gaze. "You know you're going to trip over something and fall on your ass if you keep looking backwards while you walk."
Jane V. laughed, shaking her head. "Mutiny. You should blow them all out the airlock."
Dawn scoffed, catching herself just before she mentioned 'saving it for Javik' and changed direction. "Thane's in front of me, his reflexes are more than good enough to catch me. You'll catch me, won't you, Thane?"
"Of course, siha." Thane's soft voice trickled back to her. "Then again, it might be a useful learning experience."
James' hearty, booming laugh echoed off the walls and ceiling of the more expansive area as the group shifted to fill in the newly available space. Jane V. stepped into place beside her, and she glanced over at the woman, taking in her face in the somewhat brighter light. Dawn already knew the other woman wasn't the same Jane in her head—obviously—although the thought did cross her mind in the stunned moments following the revelation, but with her shock of red hair and delicate features, the two could've been sisters. Dawn glanced over her shoulder to find her Garrus squarely at her six, the other just as resolutely at Jane V.'s.
Dawn turned her attention to Thane's back, giving him her delayed retort. "A learning experience in what, the best way to find yourself responsible for carrying my ass back to the shuttle in full armor?"
"Indeed." He glanced over his shoulder at her, a soft smile toying at the corners of his mouth. "I believe I've proven myself up to the task."
"If this turns into a massive make out scene in the shuttle, I'm going to be very disappointed." Jane V. glanced over her shoulder. "Sorry, but I don't want to taste anymore of that weird goop shit that's on you, too."
"Her sense of humor is certainly a first for us." Jane gave her a soft, humor-filled snort. "God, she's worse than you."
"Uh … alrighty then." Dawn arched her eyebrows, glancing at the other woman. "We'll add it to the list of rules for the shuttle. Put it up in big, bold letters: 'No Make Out Sessions Allowed.'"
"She seems to be handling this whole thing insanely well. I thought we're supposed to be the crazy bunch?"
"Addendum: 'Without Everyone Involved.'" Jane V. smirked, earning her a chuckle from Dawn.
"But no tongue," the older Garrus added.
"Oh, that explains it: they're both nuts."
Jane V. stuck out her lip in a pout, and Dawn snorted, wondering what the woman would say if she could only hear Jane's retorts, too.
"I'm down with that," James said, looking back over his shoulder to waggle his eyebrows at both women.
"We know, Vega." The humorlessness of Garrus' voice worried her. "We all know."
"Hey, don't worry man, there's plenty to go around." James' grin widened before faltering completely, his eyebrows dipping low on his face. "Uh … wait, that's not what I meant."
Dawn snorted, amusement seeping across the thin line separating her mind from the other Shepards. She shook her head. "You sure about that, James? Sounds like a Freudian slip to me."
Jane V.'s easy laugh nearly hid the gentle sound of Garrus' chuff, but there it was nevertheless. Dawn almost felt the soft puff of air against the back of her neck, and it relaxed her a little, easing some of the tension from her shoulders.
"Yeah, yeah, yeah." James turned back around. "I'm secure enough in my manhood to take the hit, Ídolo."
"Eh, humans aren't really my thing anymore. If that's not obvious." Jane V. smirked, turning her head to look at her husband before making a show of eyeballing his younger counterpart. "You look like you need to ease tension."
"Jane." A low, scolding hum escaped the older Garrus.
Dawn grinned, resolutely keeping her eyes forward, not really wanting to see the look on her Garrus' face just then. But still, she reached behind her, and a moment later his fingers closed around hers with a gentle squeeze. Daylight began filtering through as they neared the end of the tunnel, and a moment later, Dawn heard the distinct sound of the shuttle landing.