The Voices of Ghosts
Parable
Besides the fact that the shuttle ride had all six of them packed together like sardines, the ride up to Dawn Shepard's Normandy didn't seem as uncomfortable as their single file walk through the dark tunnel back on Namakli. Sure, Jane was practically in her mate's lap and the orb muck was starting to itch as it began to dry, but she and Dawn were about to shoot the shit with their shared enjoyment for torturing their crew with snark and blatant come ons. Hell, if she knew her own universe's Thane would have the reactions he did here, she'd have teased him more.
Still, she knew that Garrus was getting anxious. Whether caused by the annoying orb liquid under his suit or the situation, she didn't really know, but she couldn't fault her husband for being paranoid. After all, how often was it that they found themselves face to face with alternate versions of not only themselves, but of their entire crew?
Plus, he acted quite the same with the clone fiasco, so Jane wasn't all too surprised. If not for all the shit that happened during the war - the biggest impossible surprises being apparently able to both come back from the dead and have hybrid babies with her husband - she'd be much more concerned and freaking the fuck out over this whole thing. She just hoped Garrus would be able to ease down on the paranoia and lighten up, or at least not give these other versions of people reasons to be suspicious.
That… and maybe get him to stop being one of those quiet, broody types that often freak people out.
As she felt the subtle shift of pressure and drift from the shuttle entering the Normandy's cargo bay, Jane looked across the small cabin to Dawn. "So, what's the plan? Do we go under guard? Be put in a hold or something?"
The woman got a look of confusion before she blinked twice in surprise. She stared at Jane for a split second, obviously not considering it until it was mentioned. That seemed like a good sign for Jane and her mate, and when Dawn spoke, her worries of being treated like a prisoner in her -sorta - ship dissipated.
"No, but uh… it's probably best if we come up with something to tell the Cerberus crew - aside from Miranda and Jacob." Dawn glanced at the younger, unscarred - that's still a bit shocking after so long seeing scars - Garrus. "He could be an older brother?"
Rude… Yet, Jane bit her lip to hide her snort at the thought of her husband being older. She made sure to make a mental note to annoy him with that later.
"I don't have an older brother," Dawn's Garrus said with a flare of his mandibles.
She didn't seem to be bothered by that fact in the least. "They don't know that."
The Garrus shrugged, and Jane took that for agreement. Her own Garrus would follow along, given his shared colony paint and almost exact looks, minus the obvious wear and tear of the war and age - and giant ass scar. It would be quite interesting to see just what the unknowing onlooker would think of a supposed big brother being so grouchy even around his 'little brother'.
That's just as funny as calling Garrus old.
Dawn continued with her plans for Jane and her mate once Jane turned her attention back to the woman's violet eyes. "So long as no one calls you Shepard, it shouldn't be an issue." As if an afterthought, she added, "It's Vakarian now anyways, right?"
"Yeah, but fuck all if anyone else really uses that. Plus, it's confusing as hell when Garrus and I are in the same room." Jane leans back against her mate, regretting it when she feels a wetness on the back of her head from the orb shit that hadn't dried. She made a face of equal parts disgust and exasperation before leaning back up and rubbing the spot. "And, anyways, Garrus doesn't really call me Shepard since… ever. Not really my kink," she added with a chuckle and wipe of her glove on her thigh guard.
Dawn chuckled as James spoke up with another very obvious problem. "So what do we call him?"
"I'm sitting right here." Garrus narrowed his eyes just slightly and Jane swatted him for being so touchy.
James, easy going just as Jane knew him, shrugged and let the sharp tone of Garrus' voice roll off him. "Wasn't like you were really adding to the conversation. Figured you're the strong silent type." He grinned with that same shit eating look. "Or just like letting your woman talk for you. No judgement."
Dawn pinched her nose in a gesture mirroring Jane's from not too long ago back in the cavern and sighed, but didn't say anything. Even if she had, it wouldn't have been heard over Jane's raised voice to cover her mate's deep growl of agitation. "That brings up a good question!" She relaxed her voice as Garrus' vocals decreased and she kicked her foot back against his shin in a scolding manner - even if it didn't do a damn thing against his shin guards. "I'll have to change my name too considering that you apparently already know a Jane Shepard based on what you said back in the cavern."
Dawn's heavy swallow was visible even across the shuttle before she pursed her lips. "That won't be necessary. Besides, whether you use it or not, as far as anyone's concerned, you're Jane Vakarian. I don't see any reason why the Cerberus crew will need to address you… hell, if they do, by all means let me know."
Jane noticed how, as Dawn spoke, her crew shifted around in their seats and averted their gazes. Well, all except for Thane, but that didn't surprise Jane all that much. He already seemed very similar to the Thane she knew that she pretty much guessed he wouldn't let much get to him. Maybe some of Dawn's sexual jokes, but that was a surprise to Jane anyways.
Huffing in amusement, Jane nodded and crosses her arms, stretching out her legs as much as she could in the cramped space. "Noted. Jane Vakarian it is." She nudges back against Garrus. "You're a deviant human lover even in this universe, so what's your deviant alter ego's name?"
"Gaius." While her Garrus didn't lace any protesting vocal into his answer or move beyond the shift to cover her hand on her leg with his own, Dawn's Garrus did react with a chuff, flicker of his mandibles, and slight shake of his head.
Still, the answer brought a knowing smirk to her face and she bit back her chuckle. Jane wondered if Dawn and her own Garrus dealt with the same racist, closed minded bullshit as she and her own mate did back home. They were obviously open about their relationship with their crew, but, then again, Jane and her scarred Prince Charming just didn't give a damn anymore when they were somewhere along the same place in time as this universe seemed to be.
James, shit eating grin on his face, flicked his gaze to Dawn's Garrus before adding, "He's also banging Jack."
Younger Garrus growled at the man. "Was that necessary, Vega?"
Shrugging, James didn't falter at the irritation in the turian's voice. "I thought it was. Besides, Ídolo is with Thane, too, so it's not like it's a secret for anyone."
"Thank you, James," Dawn deadpanned as Thane coughed gently into his fist - this is fun. I should have popcorn. "You can take your foot out of your mouth anytime, now."
Jane snorted and smirked at the clear feeling in the air of 'too much information' being thrown around, and by a third party, no less. Whistling a long note of wonder - the same high pitch that never failed to make her mate flinch because it apparently felt like a white hot poker in his ear - she got up to her feet as both turians rubbed the divots of their ears.
"And here people wonder how we get anything done," she said as she motioned to her husband. "We're just two people fucking like rabbits, but you guys? I applaud your productivity."
Dawn stood up, moved past her Garrus sitting to the right of her seat, and opened the shuttle hatch. "Who says we're productive?"
"Touché." Jane hopped down after Dawn, sure that the others could handle themselves without her husband ripping someone's head off in the few moments she has her back turned. Following Dawn towards Dr. Chakwas, she gave a curt nod of greeting as Dawn started to introduce her and explained the situation, which was something Jane was just dying to see pulled off.
Dawn first started with the basics. "Hey, doc, I brought you something. Don't ask how - because hell if I know - but my best guess if the artifact we found ground side transported these two here. This is Jane Vakarian," she said as she nodded her head over to Jane and Jane smiled in hello. Damn, has it been awhile, Chakwas. Dawn then pointed over her shoulder to where both her and Jane's Garrus seemed to be talking in private. Odd, but not bad considering he was about to shoot anyone that looked at him funny. "Wife of that Garrus Vakarian."
Chakwas gave Dawn a meaningful look, raising her brows, but the younger woman gave a shake of her head as answer. Then, before the doctor can start with the twenty questions routine - because Jane just knew that's what all Dr Chakwas' do no matter the universe - Dawn raised her hand to stop that particular runaway train. "Yeah, I don't know. For now, we're calling him Garrus' brother, Gaius, as far as the Cerberus crew is concerned." Dropping her hand, she added, "Who knows what the trip here did to them, so if they'll let you, check them over. At the very least, make sure they're not contagious."
"Not to ruin anything, but it'd be a bit late for that, don't you think?" Jane looked back to where the two Garrus - well Garrus and Gaius - were now returning. James and Thane had already taken position close enough to be included in the conversation, both hearing and able to add information when asked, but far enough that it didn't look like the group was bunched together in some scheming huddle. "I mean, if we were, the entire shuttle would have gotten whatever it is. Sorta puts a damper on things."
"Not really. It'd just mean we get quarantined in the hangar. EDI already knows it's standard protocol to filter the hangar's air supply after every ground mission separate from the rest of the ship." Dawn gave Jane a chipper smile and Jane chuckled softly in understanding.
If they said they had quarantine procedures covered, then it was good enough for her. Who was she to argue with her own logic that had a shit track record?
Moving past protocol and possibilities of contagion, Dawn then said, "We have a quarian aboard who's been working with Legion-"
Jane stilled at the mention of her long lost geth ally, and whatever else followed Dawn's words were lost in whispers from her nightmares. Even after the war ended years ago, the nightmares persisted, taunting her with those she failed to save or convince to save themselves. She feared no matter of time would ever make the dead completely silent.
The whispers slowly faded as she caught the last of Dawn's words. Putting that together with what she did hear, however, didn't really leave her in a position to guess what was said. She blinked away the fog she's sure she began to hallucinate over the floor of the cargo bay - the fog of her nightmares - and looked at the two women. "What?"
Only after her half-dazed question came out did she take in the concerned looks and inwardly sighed. Great… That wasn't supposed to happen. True, Dawn had a very similar look in her eyes back in the cavern to what Jane was sure she herself just had, but damn if she wanted people she just met to see her faltering. Dawn had a good portion of her crew as support - at least, by the sounds of it, she did - and, if not, she at least had her own Garrus, Thane, and James Vega. Jane, however, only had her mate in these PTSD attacks, and he was only one turian.
"Are you alright, dear?" Dr Chakwas asked with that same tone Jane knew so well and she had to fight back a sigh of sadness for the old doctor's retirement in her own time.
"Yeah, yeah. I'm good. Just brought back memories." She cleared her throat and swallowed as they nodded in what seemed like understanding. Looking back to Dawn, she motioned with her hand in silent request to continue. "I didn't catch that. Sorry."
"I was just saying that we have a quarian on board who's able to remove her mask, and quite often now, thanks to Legion's help." Dawn paused for a millisecond, as if waiting to see if Jane would drift off again. "If you two stick around a bit, I'll be putting you in port observation while Tali and Kal are visiting the Migrant Fleet."
Jane skimmed over the mention of Legion, zoning out for the mention of his name, but got the gist. Dawn's people were managing to accomplish what it took a war to do, have a quarian and geth work together to strengthen the quarian's immune system. "I figure that's helping with the whole geth and quarians hating each other thing? Or are you all keeping it secret?"
"No, that's why Tali and Kal are with the Fleet. They're taking part in negotiation discussions. I led some of the Fleet to Rannoch a couple of days ago to start the process." Dawn shifted her weight enough that her eyes seemed to catch the two turians, but her distraction only lasted a moment before she continued. "With a little luck." A flicker of annoyance lit her eyes before disappearing. "And hopefully one mule-headed admiral out of the mix, the quarians will be moving back to Rannoch soon."
"Better than me having to yell at the idiots." Jane shrugged before looking to the doctor and sighing. "I take it it's time for exams? I have to warn you, though, I have this really bad pain in my legs." She hides her knowing smirk, wanting to get a kick out of a hopefully concerned doctor finding out said legs were made of metal and circuitry. The same could be said for her mate's arm, so she decided to add, "And I think Garrus - Gaius - fucked up his arm. He's so clumsy."
"Of course." Chakwas glanced towards James, and Jane caught Dawn's eyes and furrowed brows. Oh, I'm probably going to get myself shot, but it'll be so worth it. "Mr. Vega," she heard the doctor say, "I'm commandeering your quarters. Keep your wandering eyes over here." Looking back to Jane, Dr Chakwas gestured towards the back of the hangar where - just like her own - James has sectioned off a space for himself.
James grinned as the two passed, but he gave a nod of affirmation. "No hay problema."
"Gar - Gaius! Quit chatting with your brother and come here!" Jane shouted across the hangar, waving him over. He gave the younger version of himself a long look - no clue what that's about - before coming over to where Chakwas motioned for Jane to remove her leg pieces from her armor.
"This seems like an odd place to strip down," her mate said as he arrived, tilting his head and looking at the doctor before Jane. "Why am I here, exactly?"
"I think you should let Chakwas look at your arm." She drew out the word to get the point across, but he stared at her a moment before nodding. Not quite sure if he actually knew what she intended or if he just went along with it, she gave him a smirk and tilted her chin towards his person. At her gesture, he stepped back as if now waiting his turn to be examined.
The doctor was too absorbed in trying not to worsen any injuries that might be on Jane's legs to catch the shared look, instead setting aside the last piece of removed armor before opening her omnitool. Tapping a few commands, Chakwas ran the small blade attached through the undersuit.
"Hey! I needed those." Jane pouted as the doctor gave her a motherly look to calm a petulant child. Dammit, I know that look. I give that look.
"Oh, hush, we have plenty of undersuits." Cutting a slit up the front of the leg, her hand slowed to a dead stop the moment the first glint of metal was revealed. Chakwas frowned, then the expression slowly shifted as she raised a brow. "What the hell did Cerberus do to you?"
She can't stop it, Jane burst into laughter, throwing her head back as Garrus understood and looked up at the ceiling with a huff. Of course he'd be a spoil sport about having some fun, but who the hell cared as the doctor stood and crossed her arms, her eyes narrowing in a stern glare. Chakwas didn't succeed, however, as Jane only laughed more.
"Afraid… that won't work… on me," Jane said through gasps, immune to the motherly scold.
The expression lessened just slightly to give way to exasperation and Dr Chakwas motioned to Dawn. "Doesn't work on her, either."
Controlling her amusement, successfully taking it down to chuckles and a shit eating grin, Jane leaned back with her hands thrown back to support herself. "About the legs… I woke up and they were just… gone. It's a mystery." She looked to her mate for his own story, wondering what he could make up. "What about you? That arm still hurting?" Chuckling, she smiled innocently when realization showed on Chakwas' face.
"You too?" The doctor seemed more shocked by the fact, but perhaps because the Shepard and Garrus she knows were completely different. Hell, if they were compared, Jane would guess that Dawn and younger Garrus would look like they're fresh off the press with no damages.
Her husband shrugged and crosses his arms, his voice a low purr as he spoke. "I thought I looked better without it, so I traded it in for a fancier model."
Chakwas was unamused, clearly, and tapped at her tool. "I still need to test for any contagions. It shouldn't take long, but you need to get down to at least your underthings so I can examine you without the tech in your undersuits interfering."
Jane raised a brow as her mate merely shrugged and began to strip. "What exactly are you thinking we'll have?"
Chakwas seemed to feign distraction, not seeing Jane's questioning look as she focused on her omnitool. "Oh, you know. Could be anything from a simple rash or scale itch to a bacteria that destroys epidermal tissue. Wouldn't want that, now would we?"
"You're shitting me." Still, Jane started to pull off her sticky undersuit.
"Me?" The doctor gave a look of overly exaggerated insult and Jane realized, in that moment, that she'd been played. Cunning woman. "I'd never joke about something as dangerous as a possible epidemic." Her amusement died, changing to surprise as Garrus and Jane revealed their full bodies, flesh and plates covered in scars too deep to completely fade with time. "What happened to you two?"
Jane shrugged nonchalantly and grinned. "We didn't think we were badass enough."
"Good lord," Chakwas said as she stilled over her tool and looked over Jane and her mate. She seemed to be considering something and, by the fleeting glance towards the opposite side of the hangar, Jane guessed there was a very big chance that these versions of the people she knows are worried about their commander.
Silence fell over the doctor and her patients as they thought of the war - both on the horizon for one and still haunting the others - and Jane kept her eyes on her mate as he never stopped scanning the hangar, as if for any signs of danger. She knew he had always been on the watch for it since the galaxy fucked them over after all they did in the war, but Jane couldn't find herself to be so paranoid. If she let herself think too hard on it, she'd start to fall into a panic of too many questions, the loudest being 'how the fuck are we going to get back to our twins?'.
Closing her omnitool at the mark of her finished examination, Dr Chakwas let out a long, tired sigh. "I don't see anything on my readings of concern, but if you start to feel or notice anything, don't hesitate to come to me or Mordin."
Jane heard the whispers again, like waves lapping at her ears, but managed to pull herself out faster than before thanks to the heavy weight of her husband's three fingered hand on her shoulder. Pushing away the demands of the dead to be heard, she focused on Garrus' soothing rumble and shook her head to toss off the fog in her mind.
"Right. Be on the lookout." Jane cleared her throat when her words came out strained and tried again. "So… I guess that means we can finally get a shower?"
Chakwas smiled, but Jane could see the knowing sadness in her eyes. Damn these doctors and their over observant way of seeing my cracks. Nodding, Chakwas stepped away and motioned to their armors and undersuits. "You can take those too, get them cleaned up. I don't see any worrisome readings from that strange goo. Come by the tech lab before you do, though, so we can get a sample. I just know Mordin will want to examine it."
Jane tugged up her undersuit with its cut open legs and nodded, managing not to freak out from the mention thanks to Garrus at her side. "Understood. No problem. I wouldn't dare deprive him of something new and intriguing to study."
The doctor laughed softly as Garrus collected up his and Jane's armors. Once sure that they're all set to go, Chakwas led them back to Dawn and her small team as they spoke with the occasional nod or hand gesture.
"Shepard?" At the doctor's polite interruption, Dawn and her men stopped and looked over, a hopeful question in the woman's eye that Chakwas answered with a smile. "There isn't anything from my readings that will put the crew in danger. A quarantine isn't necessary."
Dawn's shoulders relaxed as she nodded. "Excellent. Thanks doc." She turned her attention to Jane and Garrus. "Let's see if the showers live up to your standards, then." She glanced over the pair, her eyes stopping and her speech halting for half a second when she caught sight of exposed metal prosthetic. "You can use the one in my cabin if you prefer. I'll make sure you have clean clothes waiting." She started walking toward the elevator, but glanced back over her shoulder. "I can have Jacob clean your armor while you shower, if you want. When you're done, we'll get you something to eat and talk."
"Now we're talking." Jane agreed with a grin and jump to her step as she rushed behind Dawn.
TLADOCS
Dawn left Jane V. and her husband in the bathroom of Dawn's cabin after setting out towels and having clothes brought up for them. EDI would notify her when they finished, and keep an eye out just in case one or the other of them decided to go snooping. Gardner worked on making sure the couple had a hot meal waiting for them, and in the meantime, Dawn called a meeting with her team and the good doctor in the comm room.
"No, she's a Jane Shepard," Dawn said, tapping the side of her head, "not the Jane Shepard." She ignored the smugness rolling off of Jane, as if Dawn meant anything more with her words than to mark a clear distinction between the two people.
"But she's married to the other Garrus, so, really she's Jane Vakarian," James added with shrug of his shoulders.
"Thank you, James, but that really isn't the point." Miranda lifted an eyebrow. "I'm far more concerned with where she came from and how she got here than what her legal name happens to be."
"And if they're here, who or what else might show up?" Jacob shook his head. "We need to study the artifact, make sure it's safe. Make sure nothing else is coming through from their side. We've got our own problems here to deal with."
"Chances of Vakarians coming through highly unlikely; chances anything else coming through more so." Mordin waved his hand. "Still, phenomenal discovery. Appears to be evidence of existence of parallel universe. Should take time to adequately investigate and catalogue artifact. Happily volunteer." He glanced between EDI's hologram and Legion. "Also unlikely to be coincidence parallels to Shepard and Garrus arrived. Perhaps something more to do with whatever is happening to Shepard. Difference in relative time interesting factor to consider as well."
"I don't see how them being here can really explain anything about us. She's obviously different somehow. A Shepard, but not one of us. Not really." The conviction in Jane's statement felt like a warning bell going off in Dawn's mind. "If she were, she'd be stuck in your head, too. She doesn't fit the pattern."
"But we don't know how different things have been for her," Dawn thought, giving Jane a mental shrug of her shoulders, hoping to convince her to stow any prejudice before it could take root. She needed Jane's cooperation to deal with this, to make sense of it all. Now was not the time for Jane to have one of her breakdowns. "Until she says something that makes it clear otherwise, we have to assume her experiences, up until the Crucible firing, match those of yours and the others'. All we really know is she survived, we don't know why she survived."
"Perhaps they can tell us more about what they experienced." Samara's soft voice, so uncommonly heard in the comm room, immediately drew everyone's attention. "Hearing their story may give us some answers."
"Samara's right. We need to talk to them, see what they can tell us. Not just about however they got here, but about the war, too." Garrus shifted next to Dawn. "They've already defeated the reapers, and Jane," Garrus said, stumbling over the next word to come out of his mouth, "Vakarian lived through it—which means there has to be a way for Shepard to live through it, too."
"He's right, there has to be a way. Maybe this is the answer we've been looking for," Jane paused while she thought. "Even if she is different, the worlds can't be so different that whatever she did can't be replicated here. Right? I mean, they probably have all of the same tech and everything, so what'd they do?"
"Garrus, we don't know if that's true. We still don't completely understand Shepard's circumstances, or what led to the fate shared by so many other versions of herself." Dr. Chakwas' eyes filled with sympathy and concern, tearing at Dawn's insides. "We don't know how closely related our Shepard is to the Shepard of this other world. It certainly does inspire hope, but let's not yet draw conclusions based on absolutes we simply don't understand."
"Well then, why isn't she in there studying them? We're not going to know unless we do something. Standing around in here talking about it isn't going to get us anywhere."
Dawn took a deep breath and thought, "They're in the shower, Jane. They're people, regardless, we're not going to put them under a microscope for study. We'll talk to them as soon as they're out of the shower, I promise."
Garrus chuffed, but didn't say anything. Dawn could tell by the look in his eyes and the tight set of his jaw he'd already considered these things, but just didn't want to accept any conclusion that didn't lead to her living through the war. He met her gaze, mandibles fluttering softly as he pressed his palm between her shoulder blades. Stepping into him, she slid her arm around his waist.
"Shepard, our visitors have left the shower and are now talking quietly between themselves," EDI said. "They appear to be wary of my presence, and I believe they are censoring themselves accordingly."
"Thank you, EDI. Please tell them I'm on my way up, and I'll bring them something to eat." Dawn let her hand slip away from Garrus. "Mordin, you'll have a better idea of what questions to ask and what might be relevant in regards to the artifact. Why don't you go ahead and come up with me? Garrus, you should probably be there, too."
"Are you sure that's wise?" Jane said, stopping Dawn in her tracks. "You saw the look she got when you mentioned Mordin before. He's dead for most of us, Dawn. He's probably dead for her, too. She's not going to talk if she's too busy freaking out over a ghost."
"Well, yeah … but … Thane would be, too, and she didn't seem too bothered by him." Dawn held up a finger, telling the others to wait while she conversed with Jane.
"Maybe she was closer to Mordin."
"Commander, what's Jane saying?" Dr. Chakwas voice drew Dawn's attention.
"She doesn't think it's a good idea to spring Mordin on Jane V." She glanced at Mordin. "She seemed … disturbed when we mentioned your name earlier."
Mordin blinked a few times but didn't say anything. He knew what happened to him in Jane's time, the vids he watched of Dawn during her stint in Project Lazarus made sure of it, but they really never talked too much about it all. She'd done everything she could think of to change Mordin's fate and still cure the genophage, and he knew as much.
"Of course." Dr. Chakwas nodded. "It might be best to re-introduce Jane … V. to the crew slowly and make it clear to her she's under no obligation to see anyone she doesn't wish to see. Her husband as well, though he seemed to be less bothered by the idea."
"Fuck that." Jack leaned against the wall, crossing her arms resolutely across her chest, a grin on her face. "You can't tell me there's another Garrus up there, and then tell me I don't even get to check him out."
Dawn sighed and nodded. "Alright. Mordin, hold off for now. I'll call you up if she's okay with it, I guess. Jack, you'll get your chance later." She waved a hand. "Dismissed." She grabbed Thane's sleeve to stop him as the others started leaving. "They might need a chance to talk about you without you being there, too. Is that alright?"
"Of course, siha." He leaned in, giving her a kiss before squeezing her hand. "I'll be in life support if you need me."
Dawn and Garrus let the others file out ahead of them, taking a moment to collect themselves while the rest of the team monopolized the elevator. He wrapped his arms around her shoulders and she rested her head against his armored chest.
After a moment, he hummed. "You alright?"
Snorting, Dawn looked up at him. "I'm use to the crazy, Garrus. What about you? This has to be fucking with your head."
"Me?" He smiled at her, but it didn't erase the haunted look in his eyes. "Well, yeah. Did you see the shape he's in?"
She laughed despite herself and shoved at his chest. "Seriously, Vakarian? You see what very well may be your future and you're worried about how he looks?"
He chuffed, flaring his mandibles wide. "Worried? No, I'm disappointed. If I'd known I'd look good with facial scars, I'd have taken the rocket to the face."
Snorting, she rolled her eyes and stepped out of his embrace, pushing back the flood of memories trying to resurface; memories of Garrus lying in a pool of his own blood. Memories not actually belonging to her, but felt real nonetheless. "Liar." She took his hand, leading him toward the door and glanced back at him over her shoulder. "Well, if you change your mind and want to, you know, actually talk about all of this …."
"Don't worry about me, Dawn." He squeezed her fingers. "I can handle it."
"Can he? He hasn't handled much of any of this so far. Unless you count shooting people you've just met and drinking yourself half to death 'handling' the situation."
Dawn winced, she didn't really need the reminder of the damage she'd done to Garrus. She tightened her grip on his fingers, and didn't respond to Jane.
They made their way from the comm room and took the elevator down to the mess hall. Tables were already filling up for the dinner rush, and the Cerberus crew cast more than a few curious glances in Garrus' direction. News must've traveled fast about Garrus' 'big brother' being aboard. Picking up four covered trays from Gardner, they made their way back to the elevator without stopping to chat with anyone; neither of them really needed to deal with being cornered and bombarded with questions about 'Gaius'. EDI activated the elevator for them since they both had their hands full, and they took it up to her cabin.
"Ouch!" Jane V.'s voice rang out as soon as the cabin door slid open. "If you pull a tangle one more time, I'm taking that arm."
Dawn snorted, making a beeline for the stairs, figuring the couple must be on the couches down below. "I'm sure I can have someone snag you a hairbrush or a comb from requisitions, if you want." She glanced toward the couches as she stepped down, finding Jane V. sitting on the floor between her husband's knees. "And anything else you need." They carried the trays over to the coffee table and set them down before filling the empty seats opposite of the Vakarian couple.
Jane V. shrugged, pulling loose strands of her hair from the other Garrus' hand and winced. "Okay, that one was on me," she said, leaning back to look at him.
The older Garrus—or, Dawn supposed, she should at least try to think of him as Gaius—flicked his mandibles. "If you keep doing that, I'm taking your legs."
Dawn arched an eyebrow at their playfully threatening banter while she busied herself with uncovering trays, arranging them on the table. "So, uh, how was your shower? Live up to your expectations?"
"Funny how yours has that one clogged hole like ours does." Jane V. pushed herself up, settling on the couch next to her husband.
"Only you would notice that right then. I take offense." Garrus' or Gaius'—yeah, it just didn't work for Dawn—tone sounded dry as he glanced at his wife.
"Uh … OK." Dawn cleared her throat, trying really very hard not to think they meant what she thought they did. "So, we have … whatever the hell Gardner calls this for us," Dawn said, sliding a tray toward Jane V. before positioning another in front of the older Garrus. "And don't even ask me what this is, for you."
"So they fucked in the shower, what's the big deal? You and Garrus have sex in there all the time."
"Yes, I have sex in my shower with my boyfriend. No one should be having sex in my shower or my bed unless I'm involved. I don't want to think about them the next time I'm in there. This whole thing is weird and complicated enough as it is," Dawn thought, but then smiled to herself as she added, "Besides, I don't care how open Garrus is, if he thinks I'm fantasizing about some other version of him …."
"Oh … Gardner's cooking." Jane V. picked up her fork, poking at what looked like it might've been chicken at some point. She let out a heavy sigh and frowned. "Just when I thought I was doing just fine without the shits."
Dawn snorted, pulling her tray a little closer. "It's either this, or MREs." Taking a bite of her own, she glanced between the other three. "I filled in the rest of the crew. Some of them are pretty anxious to meet the two of you." She turned her attention back to her tray but watched Jane V. out of the corner of her eye. "Mordin would really like to talk to you about the artifact … but it's your call who you see and talk to while you're here."
Jane V. stopped with her fork halfway to her mouth, a pained look filling her eyes. Setting her fork back down on the plate, the food still on it untouched, she nodded without lifting her gaze from her plate. Her husband leaned into her, pressing his forehead to hers, whispering soft words Dawn's translator didn't quite catch. Her Garrus shifted on the couch next to her, drawing her attention to him, but his gaze seems to be focused on his lap.
Jane V. cleared her throat, nodding. "Yeah. Yeah. We're good with that."
"Is there, uh, anyone you specifically aren't OK with seeing?" Dawn scrunched up her eyebrows, the perverse feeling of pushing against someone's private barriers when they already seemed off kilter set her on edge, but she knew if she didn't ask, she'd hear it from Dr. Chakwas later.
After chewing on the inside of her cheek a moment, Jane V. shrugged. "No. I think I'll be good." She huffed, a humorless laugh lifting her shoulders. "Not like they're the same people who knew me and Garrus."
"I know the feeling." Longing poured through the connection between Jane and Dawn.
Dawn glanced at the older Garrus, but he seemed to only have eyes for his wife at the moment, so she nodded. "Fair enough." She took another bite and glanced at Jane V.'s plate. "I'll give you a chance to eat, then, before calling Mordin up. Gods knows once he starts talking, you won't get the chance to take a bite."
Jane V. stuffed a large forkful in her mouth and nodded. Talking around the food in her mouth, her words came out muffled but still intelligible. "Sounds good."
"And that's where Damocles gets it." The older Garrus sighed, glancing at the ceiling.
Dawn's eyebrows twitched, and she just barely caught the curious flick of her Garrus' mandibles out of the corner of her eye. "Damocles?"
Jane V. nodded, shoving more food into her mouth. Dawn wondered if she was really that hungry, or if the other woman had a tendency to eat her feelings. Maybe coming through the artifact ooze took a lot out of her.
Her husband—who still hadn't touched his food, though he'd picked up the plate—hummed, his gaze wandering toward Spike's tank. "Our son."
Dawn's jaw opened and closed, moving soundlessly until Garrus started choking next to her. She snapped her mouth closed and reached over, pounding on his back. "You alright?"
"A son?" Jane's raw, bitter envy felt like claws around Dawn's throat, robbing her of breath for a second. "Why does she get to have a normal life? Why does she get to have a husband and a child?"
Dawn did her best to keep her own emotions steady. The whole married with children thing never really appealed to her personally, but she understood Jane's grief all too well. It was a choice she never got to make for herself, and now she'd never have the opportunity. She sent back one simple thought, the only thing she could really think to say in the face of so much pain, "I'm sorry."
Garrus composed himself, clearing his throat before taking a drink of water. "I'm good."
"You … have a son." She cleared her throat, finding her equilibrium after Jane's emotional assault. Dear Gods, marriage and kids. "You must be worried about him. Gods, I can't imagine … we'll find a way to get you back home to him."
"Them," the other Garrus hummed again. "We have twins, boy and girl."
"Don't look like parents, do we?" Jane chuckled and leaned back against the couch, setting her plate—already nearly empty—on her lap. "Yep, we're badasses even wrangling those two shits together." Sobering up, she looked at her husband, and he flicked his unscarred mandible in response. "And we know." She turned her attention back to Dawn. "You're a Shepard. You get shit done."
Dawn lifted her shoulder, turning her attention back to her plate and swallowed down the emotions buzzing around her head like a swarm of mosquitoes in the summer. "How are any parents supposed to look? Never really considered having kids myself. I just can't quite see myself as mother material." She was glad Garrus had the sense not to argue with her, she didn't think she'd handle it very well if he did. Finally, she gave voice to the question pressing in on her, "How are you not freaking out?"
"About?" Jane V. asked, her posture growing a little tenser. "The fact that we're in another reality? There are dead people all around? People we knew now don't know us?" Her voice took on a steadily increasing pitch, her walls cracking enough for Dawn to see inside just a little. "We have no fucking clue if we're going back?"
"It's not an unreasonably question, obviously." Jane studied Jane V. through Dawn's eyes, taking in each little shift in the other woman's demeanor. "So, she is freaking out. Just really good at hiding it; at least there's something real showing through now."
Her husband put his hand on her thigh, giving her a soft, soothing rumble. Jane V. stopped talking and seemed to settle at his touch. They shared a look before turning their attention back on Dawn. She leaned back into the couch, lifting one ankle up to rest on her other knee, letting her foot twitch in the air a moment as she debated how best to go about getting the information she needed from the odd couple without upsetting their lives even further.
"What good will it do?" His mandibles flattened against his jaws. "You'd be stuck with two soldiers, frantic, on a ship full of assassins, mercs, criminals, justicars, and every other specialist under the stars." His brow ridge twitched up. "What would you be doing?"
Dawn sucked on her teeth as she watched the couple in silence, a thousand different scenarios rushing through her mind all in the stretch of a few seconds. She knew what she would've done in their shoes, if it happened back before her own life went sideways, but there was really no way to answer the question now without considering the horde of voices trapped in her head. Jane changed everything and everyone when she made herself known. Lives saved and others lost. She didn't just change Dawn, she changed the entire galaxy with her existence.
"I'm just trying to save us all. End the cycle."
The older Garrus' mandibles jerked once, and he leaned forward, setting his plate back on the table. His gaze zeroed in on Dawn in a way that made her suddenly hate turians and their heightened sense of smell. Gods only knew what her bag of crazy smelled like to the stranger.
Garrus glanced over at her, his mandibles fluttering; the look of warning in his eyes told her she was getting too close to the edge. Sitting back next to her, he laid a hand on her bent knee and gently cleared his throat as he turned his attention back to the couple. "We're not saying we're not grateful you're as composed as you are—"
"I'm fine, Garrus," Dawn said, her voice soft yet firm. "Honestly, if I had children to think about, I'd probably be trying to figure out who I needed to shoot, or what I needed to blow up to get back home to them."
Jane V. sighed. "Look. You have no idea the way my heart is racing just thinking about it, how much I just want to say fuck it, take this ship, and try to find a way out of this shit hole universe. But I can't. It'd only get us killed." She held out her hand in a silent but obvious plea to her husband, and he took it without hesitation. "The only thing keeping me from actually acting on that insane plan isn't logic, it's knowing that they're safe right now. It's just us who are in danger of never going back."
Her husband frowned, squeezing her hand, letting out a frustrated huff of air through his nose.
Garrus chuffed, his grip tightening a little on Dawn's knee before he started absently rubbing his thumb back and forth against her leg. He flicked his mandibles and glanced at his older counterpart. "You forgot two unshackled AI."
"And the tank-bred krogan," she added, forcing a smile on her face as she lifted a shoulder and tilted her head a little to the side. She dropped her foot back to the floor and leaned forward, resting her elbows on her knees when Garrus moved his hand to her back. "I'm glad to hear your kids are safe." She glanced at the other Garrus' plate before looking back at him. "Not hungry, or do you think we've poisoned you? I can make him," she says, nodding at her lover sitting beside her, "taste test it for you if you want."
"Assuming you wouldn't poison me." Garrus chuckled, flicking his mandibles, undoubtedly trying to break the tension built up in the room.
"Please. You know if I wanted to take you out, it'd be up close and personal." She winked at him, draping one of her arms over his thigh. She fought really hard not to let it show on her face when Jane's memory of shooting Garrus floated to the surface, but still it made her dinner feel like a lead weight in her stomach.
The older Garrus chuckled, the sound coming from low in his chest. "As much as I'd love to see you forcing him to eat more of Gardner's cooking, I don't think that." He waved his hand at the plate. "I can't eat when stressed. Been that way since …" He cleared his throat, but Dawn just barely caught the sound of a soft keen beneath the gesture. "A long time."
With a frown, Jane V. twitched her brows, her gaze steady on Dawn and her Garrus. She chuckled, the sound ringing false to Dawn's ears. "He's trying to watch his figure."
"Bullshit. There's something there. I thought the point of this dinner date is to get information from them. Obviously there's something there for us to learn about, so push for it."
"Now's not the time, Jane. Chill," Dawn thought.
"I don't know," she said with a smirk, glancing between the other two. "I think the galaxy could do with a few fat turians." She picked at her plate a little more before turning her attention back to them. "Well, if you're ready for round two of awkward and uncomfortable questions, I can call up Mordin. Thane, too, if you don't mind?"
Jane V. nodded, rubbing her shoulder as she dropped her gaze to the floor at Dawn's feet. "Yeah. I have no problem with that."
"Liar," Jane directed at Jane V. before snapping at Dawn. "You're just going to let that one go, too, aren't you?"
Dawn ignored Jane, she'd had a long, hellish day on Namakli dealing with phantom reapers and the death screams of people who weren't even there only to have it topped off with having Jane V. and 'Gaius' dropped in her lap. She didn't need anymore bullshit. She officially got off the rollercoaster and shut down the amusement park for the day. Unless Jane said something that seemed actually worth listening to, Dawn wasn't dealing with anymore until she had the chance to sleep and recharge; Dr. Chakwas' advice be damned.
"It'd … be nice to see them," Jane V. continued.
"Great." Dawn lifted her head, glancing back toward the AI's access node, even though she couldn't see it from where she sat and it was in no way necessary for the AI to hear her. "EDI? Will you send up Thane and Mordin if they're done eating, please?"
"Right away, Shepard," EDI answered.