A/N: There is a slashy threesome in this chapter, so don't like, don't read!
Please, no flames! x)
Unknown Reason
000
Chapter 2
Castiel was breathing heavily, as was Sam.
"Oh my God," Castiel said, terrified of what was happening to him, to Sam. "I-I feel like... like..."
"I know," Sam replied.
They were both on the floor, sitting against the wall.
Castiel loosened his tie, and then took off his coat. "I'm so hot... if I could sweat I'd be covered by now."
Sam was already sweating. "Cass, we-we can fight this."
"Oh really?" Castiel replied, practically heaving. "Jack sent me a message in my head before he sent us here."
"What kind of message?"
Castiel closed his eyes, his head falling back against the wall. "He-He said that if we didn't have some form of sexual intercourse within the hour that we would both die."
"Why can't we just, you know... get ourselves off?"
"Jack said that wouldn't work."
"I-I think we should lock ourselves in separate rooms..."
"In the end it won't matter," Castiel replied, panting. "We'll die. I don't want you to die, Sam..."
Sam began to pant, too. "God, I... I feel like if I don't have sex that I'm going to die anyway..."
"Me, too."
Sam groaned out of pain, his body feeling similar to the way it had felt when he had been withdrawing from demon blood.
"Sam, I... I'm sorry, so sorry for this," Castiel said sincerely. "It's my horrible thoughts that got us here."
"What horrible thoughts?"
Castiel closed his eyes again. He couldn't bear to look at Sam.
"The thoughts I've had about you, sexually..."
"What...?"
"Like you haven't had them, too," Castiel said under his breath.
Sam didn't know what to say. Castiel was... right...
"Maybe we could go out and find a couple of women?"
Castiel shook his head. "We don't have the time." He pulled his tie off and unbuttoned his shirt halfway. Sam couldn't help but notice how sexy Castiel appeared to be, although thinking like that made him sick with himself.
"I'm not going to let you die, Sam," Castiel stated. "Especially not from something like this."
"What else can we do...?"
Castiel turned to his right, inching closer to Sam. Once he was close enough, he cupped Sam's face with both hands, tilted his own head back, leaned up and then kissed him.
Sam pulled away. "No, Cass, we-we just can't, I... what about Dean...?"
"I... I love him, too," Castiel whispered to Sam. "But I'm not going to let you die from something like this."
"So in other words you're trying to say that you want to take one for the team?"
Castiel appeared confused. "What does that mean?"
"Never mind," Sam sighed, his breathing shallow and heavy while beads of sweat ran down his face like tears. He unbuttoned his flannel shirt all the way down and then opened it. "I'm sure Dean is trying to get here as fast as he can. If he gets here in time, maybe he'll be able to do something to help us."
"Dean doesn't even know we're here unless Jack told him."
Sam forced a sarcastic smile. "Yeah like there was any chance of that happening." He groaned again, feeling as a searing pain began to preside all over his body.
Castiel could feel the pain, too. It was unbearable and utter agony. "Oh God, Sam, it hurts so much..."
"I've been tortured by the Devil himself," Sam replied. "Trust me—it could be worse."
"I don't see how," Castiel said in response, clenching his hands into tight fists. "Did Lucifer or Michael try to violate you in that way?"
"No, but... I'm pretty sure Lucifer wanted to..."
"That's horrible," Castiel replied. "I would have taken your place if I could have..."
"You already did when you shifted my hell into yourself..."
Castiel exhaled and smiled at Sam. "It was terrible. I saw Lucifer and hellfire everywhere I went. At first it was just Lucifer, then the fire came. It was so real... I... Dean doesn't know this, but I tried to kill myself..."
"Cass..." Sam gave him a sympathetic look.
"I took an angel blade to my heart and just... jammed it in..." Castiel said, regretfully. "But God saved me again. He wouldn't let me die, and I hated Him for it. He still won't let me die. Every time I die, He brings me back. At times like now, I just wish I'd stayed dead..."
"Hey," Sam said, placing his hand on Castiel's shoulder. "Don't you ever think something like that."
"Well, if I die today maybe I will stay dead this time..."
Sam cupped the side of Castiel's face with his palm. "No one's going to die, Cass," he said, and then kissed the angel.
Castiel kissed him back, noting the difference between a kiss from Sam and one from Dean. Dean was more enthusiastic, whereas Sam was more compassionate.
Sam pulled away and stood up, though it was damn hard given the amount of pain he was in. Then he extended his hand down to Castiel, who gripped it back before Sam helped him rise from the floor.
Still holding Castiel's hand, Sam led him to the nearest bedroom, which of course just happened to be Dean's.
Castiel sat down on the large bed, Sam sitting next to him. Sam kissed him again, while Castiel moaned into his mouth. Neither of them could take the pain anymore.
It was either sex or death.
"How-How was it with Dean...?" Sam asked the angel.
Castiel panted out the words, "It was very painful. He-He... forced himself on me... forced me to do things to him..."
"What?!"
"But it wasn't his fault," Castiel said, defending Dean nonetheless. "He... didn't realize it was me, and everything that came after he realized who I was I consented to..."
"That's... no excuse for what he did to you, Cass. I still can't believe he would do something like that, to anyone, and especially to you."
"I don't want to talk about that anymore," Castiel said, and then kissed Sam again. "When I kiss you the pain isn't as bad."
Sam laid Castiel down on the bed and said, "I'm not going to do this unless you want to. I'd rather die from whatever this is than hurt you in the way you say Dean did."
"I-I want to do it..."
Sam unbuttoned the rest of Castiel's white shirt and took it off of him, before removing his own shirt. He threw the clothing to the side, off of the bed, and then went to work on Castiel's ebony pants. Sam removed Castiel's likewise black shoes, and then pulled his pants down. Afterwards, he stood up and took off his jeans before getting back into bed with Castiel.
"Please," Castiel pleaded. "I can't take it anymore. I feel like my whole body is on fire, like I'm burning in hell..."
"The hell you saved me from," Sam whispered, running his hand down Castiel's face, down his neck and then down to his chest. "Now it's my turn to save you."
"We have to save each other."
"I've never done this before," Sam said admittedly. "I mean, I've never been with a guy before, but... I think I can figure it out."
Sam leaned over Castiel and kissed the side of his neck, kissing his way down Castiel's body, down to his chest... sucking on one of his nipples.
"Sam," Castiel moaned, running his fingers through Sam's longer hair. "That feels good..."
Sam felt the same. Even though his entire body felt like it was on fire, the more he did with Castiel the better he felt.
He temporarily got off of Castiel in order to look in Dean's nightstand drawer, but there was nothing in there except for a copy of the Bible mixed with bad porno flicks and anime 'hentai'.
"Shit..."
"What's wrong?" Castiel asked him.
"We don't have any lubricant."
"What does that mean?"
"It means this is going to hurt twice as bad."
"I don't care," Castiel insisted. "I want you, now."
"I'll try to make this as painless for you as possible," Sam replied softly, and then stuck a set of fingers in his mouth. Castiel didn't understand what Sam was doing until he spread his legs and positioned his fingers. It was the same thing Dean had done, only Dean had provided lubricant.
Sam ran his left-hand through Castiel's dark hair. "Are you ready?"
"Yes," Castiel replied, though his voice seemed empty and hollow, his eyes dark and dilated, and his own body out of his control. Whatever was happening to him, Sam didn't know, though he could feel it happening to he himself, too."
Sam pushed a set of fingers into Castiel, who moaned silently in approval. Sam began scissoring them, before he added a third finger.
"I feel... better... when you do that," Castiel said softly.
"Good," Sam replied lustfully. Castiel looked so... beautiful. And Sam had lied to him. He had fantasized about this before.
And Jack had known it.
Sam was going to kill him if he could.
"Sam, please," Castiel begged him. "I need more."
"Not just yet," Sam replied, looking into Castiel's sapphire eyes. "If I don't do this first, it's going to hurt you much more when I have sex with you."
"I don't care," Castiel answered him. "The pain is intensifying. I also feel... strange again. Dean called it 'being in heat'..."
"Please don't mention Dean while we're doing this," Sam asked of him. "It makes it hard to make love to someone when you know they're thinking about somebody else."
"I'm sorry..."
"You don't have to apologize," Sam said back to Castiel. "I know you don't know any better." He continued to finger the angel several more minutes, until he was satisfied that Castiel was ready.
He withdrew his fingers. "Cass," Sam said, temporarily running his right-hand back through Castiel's hair. "This is still going to hurt some, but I want you to know that the more times you do this the better it feels. That's... that's why it hurt so much with Dean... he was your first."
"I thought you didn't want to talk about Dean," Castiel whispered.
"I don't. I was only making a point." Sam took his hardness into his hand and positioned himself between Castiel's legs.
"I... I love you, Cass," he murmured.
"I love you too, Sam..."
Sam slowly pushed into him, while Castiel gasped and then took a deep breath.
"Can I move?" Sam asked Castiel, even though he knew he would whether Castiel said he could or not.
"It... hurts like before..." Castiel admitted. "But not as much."
Sam spread Castiel's legs wider and began to take him, gently at first, and then harder and faster. He couldn't help himself. Whatever it was that Jack had done to them was making Sam crazy, like he couldn't help himself, and the more he got the more he wanted.
As Sam continued with him, Castiel felt the sheering pain from Jack's spell—or whatever it had been—fading away. He was still in pain, but it was starting to feel better like it had been toward the end with Dean.
Sam leaned down and kissed Castiel, using a lot more tongue than he had any of the previous times. Sam ran his hands down Castiel's arms, down to his wrists, before he pinned Castiel hands above his head while Castiel's erection felt the friction between their bodies.
Sam felt the pain and agony melting away as he continued to take Castiel, and yet he felt he needed more.
"Oh, God," Sam moaned loudly. "You're so tight, so very tight..."
Castiel continued to pant. "That's what Dean said."
"I told you," Sam said as he fucked Castiel, "I don't want you to think about him while we're doing this."
"Why not? I was his first, and that's something you can never take away."
Fuck.
Sam and Castiel both recognized the foreign voice.
It was Dean.
Dean entered the room and grabbed Sam, pulling him off of Castiel. Then he began to punch him in the face—over and over again and over again—before he kneed him in the gut, punched him in the stomach, and then backhanded him with his fist.
Sam fell to the floor, spitting blood.
"Dean," Castiel said, "I-I... we couldn't help it... Jack, he—"
"Ssh," Dean whispered as Castiel sat up on the bed, cupping the angel's face with both hands. "I know it wasn't your fault. Jack made me feel it for a moment, too. But I don't care what he said, I know you can fight this."
"Please," Castiel begged Dean. "Let us finish..."
Dean frowned. "Fuck no," he replied harshly.
"Do you want Cass to die?" Sam asked Dean from the floor, spitting out some more blood.
"Sam will die, too, Dean," Castiel said to him, trying to think of something—anything—that he could say to make Dean understand.
Sam stood from the floor, briefly clutching at his stomach. Surely Dean had broken at least two of his ribs.
"Dean, get out of the room," Sam demanded, staring into his brother's angry eyes. "I can't control it, it hurts so much."
Dean approached his brother, ready to strike Sam in the face all over again.
But it was what Sam did next that shocked and scared the hell out of him.
Sam made an attempt to kiss him. Him. His own brother.
"What the fuck?!" Dean exclaimed. "Have you two completely lost your minds?!"
Sam appeared as if he was in some sort or trance, hypnotized or something. His eyes in particular... they were so dark, dilated, as though he was on drugs.
"Dean, please," Sam said between clenched teeth, fighting to catch every breath and struggling to find every thought. "Get out and let Cass and I finish. Then this will all be over."
Dean thought about it. "No," he said, his voice still harsh and angry. He didn't know what to do, but he wasn't going to let Sam fuck Castiel.
His Castiel.
On the other hand, they were going to die under Jack's influence unless they both had some form of sex with someone, and Dean was certainly not going to have sex with his own brother.
He could only think of one thing, and it made him sick.
"Sam," Dean said to him, "Get on the bed with your back to the frame. Cass, get... get on your hands and knees."
"Dean, I don't understand," Castiel replied in all honesty. "What do you want me to do?"
Dean shook his head and fisted his hands, looking down at the floor, unable to look Castiel or Sam in the eyes while he said it.
"You're... you're going to go down on Sam while I take you from behind..."
"You want a threesome with us?" Sam said, sounding shocked as hell.
"What's a threesome?" Castiel asked them.
Dean couldn't help but roll his eyes. "It's when three people have sex together."
"And what does it mean to 'go down' on someone?" the angel asked.
Dean sighed again. "For two guys, it means the same thing as a blowjob."
"Oh," Castiel said simply.
"But Dean, we—"
"Shut up," Dean said to Sam, cutting him off midsentence. "I'm not going to let either of you die because of Jack's sadistic way of showing Cass how supposedly devoted he is to him. I know you. I know you both, better than anyone. And I know neither of you would have done this, but I'm still angry at both of you for doing this to me."
Sam smirked at Dean. "It's not like you're married."
"Sam, this isn't you speaking, it's the spell," Dean stated. "Jack got into your head. He's got you both so messed up that you would have sex with anyone or anything right now to make that horrible feeling go away."
"If you felt it, you know Cass and I can't fight it," Sam replied, casting a glance down at Castiel, who was breathing so fast and so hard that he appeared as though he might have a heart-attack if didn't have sex soon. Come to think, Sam's chest was searing with pain, too. Maybe that's how they were going to die if they weren't allowed to continue.
"Sam," Dean said when he saw the way Sam was clutching at his chest. "Do what I said and get on the bed."
Sam finally gave in and did as he had been asked, sitting down on the bed next to Castiel, his back against the bedframe.
"Cass," Dean said to the angel, "Get on your hands and knees."
Castiel didn't understand what was happening—hell, he could barely put two thoughts together—but he did as Dean had instructed nevertheless.
"Cass," Dean repeated while he kneeled on the bed behind him, unzipping his jeans, "I'm so sorry that you have to do this with us like this. I can only hope—pray—that you can forgive me for this when it's over." Dean clenched his teeth together. He didn't want to do this. He didn't want this for Cass or for Sam. "Cass, go down on him."
"When I did that with you, I was unable to breathe..."
"That's because I didn't let you set the pace. I was forcing you to do it instead of letting you..." Dean could feel his eyes burning. "And... and Jack told me how you felt about our first time together... about how you felt I had stolen your virtue and fucking raped you."
"It wasn't your fault, Dean," Castiel said, breathing heavily. "You didn't know any better, and I'm... not sorry it happened. I love you..."
"I love you too, Cass," Dean whispered. "That's why I'm so sorry we have to do this."
"Dean," Sam said to his brother, "I can't... take it anymore. I feel like I'm dying."
"I won't let you die," Castiel said softly. He took Sam's hardness into his hand, opened his mouth, and began to suck him off.
Sam moaned and ran his fingers through Castiel's dark hair, pushing his head down and forcing Castiel to deep-throat him.
"Don't," Dean said to Sam. "Don't do that. You can't force him like I did... Let him figure it out for himself."
Even though Castiel was currently going down on Sam of all people, Dean could feel himself getting hard. Even with what Castiel was doing, he still looked so beautiful and so very sexy.
Still, Dean was sickened with himself. He could see the blood running down Castiel's thighs and became angrier with Sam, and with himself. They had both made him bleed. He knew it was only because Cass was so new at this, but he couldn't believe that he could be turned on by Castiel's pain...
He hated himself.
He hated Sam.
He hated Cass.
And yet he loved Sam.
And yet he loved Cass.
Castiel gagged again, remembering what Dean had said about watching the teeth. He tried opening his mouth wider, and the task at hand seemed a little easier. Meanwhile Sam was fighting hard as hell not to grasp Castiel's head and force himself down the angel's throat. He still would have preferred to have fucked Castiel's ass instead, but Dean had been adamant.
Dean removed himself from his jeans and began stroking himself off until he was hard enough. Then he spread Castiel's thighs apart and gently—very gently—pushed inside.
Castiel moaned with Sam's dick in his mouth as he continued to service the two men all at once. As Dean began to move, Castiel sucked off Sam harder and faster. The more pleasure he received, the more he gave.
Dean continued to steadily take the man beneath him, trying to give Cass all the pleasure that he could, trying to be gentle with him... However the more he fucked Castiel the more difficult it became to restrain himself. He leaned down over him and licked a trail up his spine, which caused Castiel to shiver.
"Dean," Castiel moaned, working his hand up and down Sam's erection while his mouth was free. "Sam... I'm so thankful to be with you both like this... I love you both so much... more than you could possibly imagine..."
Sam cupped Castiel's face with both hands and raised his head higher, before he kissed Castiel and began making out with him.
"No," Dean said harshly. "No kissing."
"It's his choice, Dean," Sam replied, sounding angry and pissed-off.
"No, it's mine," Dean said to the both of them. "Cass is mine, and no matter how much he loves you, he still loves me more. I know it."
He's right, Castiel thought. But I love Sam, too... What am I going to do...? I can't engage in a sexual relationship with both of them, they wouldn't allow it, and I'm only serving to turn them against one another...
I should have stayed dead.
Goddamn you, Jack. You are evil...
What good could possibly come out of this...?
Castiel's body however had a different opinion than his mind. As he continued to suck Sam off and as Dean continued to take him from behind, his body shuttered with a blissful pleasure, and the pain was gone. He'd never felt so good in his life, and no matter how much he hated himself, he loved giving Sam and Dean the pleasure they so desired from him more.
Dean began to take Castiel harder, picking up the pace with each and every thrust he aimed to take. Castiel was still so, so tight and so very hot. Dean's mouth opened and his head tilted back as he thrusted harder.
Sam ran his fingers through Castiel's hair again as he began to practically fuck Castiel's mouth. He couldn't help it. He felt as Castiel gagged again, but he almost didn't care. Nothing mattered anymore except achieving release.
And Dean had been right.
Castiel really did have a velvet throat.
And as the seconds flew by, Castiel was becoming better and better at performing oral sex.
"Oh, Cass," Sam whispered hotly. "You really are a fast learner..."
"Don't talk to him," Dean said to Sam.
"I'll speak to him whenever and however I want to, Dean. You may be pulling the strings here, but I'm not your puppet."
"When this is over," Dean said, gasping for breath in between words, "I'll make sure that you never touch Cass again."
"That's not your choice to make," Sam argued. "This isn't some random woman from some bar that you can have a quickie in the back seat of your car with and then discard like a piece of trash before moving on to the next woman. This is Cass, our best-friend, our family, our... our lover..."
"Please," Castiel said to them, "Don't—Don't, ah... argue with one another while I'm doing this... It makes me feel horrible and used."
"I'm sorry," Dean replied. "You-You're right. I should be trying to make you feel better, not worse... and no one's 'using' you, we love you..." He could tell Castiel was close—closer than he was, anyway—but this time he didn't care as to whether or not Castiel came without him. He knew Castiel needed release and he needed it now, as did Sam. They were the ones under Jack's disgusting influence, which made Dean feel all the more responsible for the both of them getting through this without causing too much damage.
And he knew that when it was all over, that Cass and especially Sam were going to hate themselves.
Dean wrapped the fingers of his right-hand around Castiel's hardness and began to stroke him off in unison to his thrusts into him.
In spite of everything that was happening, Dean couldn't stop himself from saying, "I want you to say my name and only my name when you come, Cass."
Castiel sucked Sam fervently as Dean continued to fuck and stroke him, Sam's hands in his hair the whole while, his fingers running lovingly through it. It was all too much.
Sam could feel himself coming close, too, nearing the edge of ecstasy. Castiel looked so fucking hot. He couldn't lie to himself anymore, either. He was actually getting off to Dean fucking Cass, though he tried not to look at Dean, especially into his eyes. It was too much like having sex with his own brother, although... if Castiel hadn't been around, he knew he would've approached Dean, and that made him sick.
"Cass," Dean said in overdrive, moving faster and faster, harder and harder, making Castiel bleed all the more... "You feel so fucking good... better, tighter and hotter than any woman I've ever had... and you're so, so beautiful..."
When Dean began hitting Castiel's sweet spot in just the right place while stroking him off at the same time, it finally tipped him over the edge.
"Don't forget, I want you to say my name," Dean demanded.
"Dean..." Castiel moaned, his eyes flashing with angelic light. "Oh-Oh my God, Dean, Sam!" His eyes lit up with angel fire, and his wings were briefest for the smallest amount of time. Sam had never seen Castiel's wings before... they were indiscernibly beautiful...
Castiel came into Dean's hand, and afterwards, Dean placed his newly-freed hand back on Castiel's hip, thrusting into him more as he fought for release.
He wasn't especially thrilled that Castiel had said Sam's name when he came, but it wasn't as if there was anything he could do about it.
"Cass," he said gruffly, yet tenderly. "When Sam comes you-you have to let him come in your mouth to break whatever spell it is you're under, okay?"
"O-Okay, Dean," Castiel said, and then went back to sucking off Sam as hard as he possibly could without gagging.
Sam was so close, so very close, and then he was there.
"Cass... oh, Cass!" he moaned out, coming into Castiel's open mouth.
Castiel felt as Sam came down his throat, having no idea what to do. He thought back to what Dean had done with him, and forced himself to swallow in spite of the fact that he couldn't breathe.
That just left Dean.
"It's-It's starting to hurt again," Castiel said to Sam.
"Cass..." Sam whispered, already starting to feel horrible. "I know you're exhausted but it's almost over. Just... squeeze my hand when it hurts, alright?"
"Al-Alright," Castiel said as Sam took his left-hand into his right, before Castiel grasped at it, squeezing hard.
Dean knew Castiel needed to rest but his body wouldn't let him stop. He kept thrusting into the angel as hard and as fast as he could, gripping at his hips hard enough to leave imprints. With his knees he pushed Castiel's legs further apart with enough force to leave bruises.
Castiel squeezed at Sam's hand as hard as he could.
"Dean, you're hurting him!" Sam shouted.
Dean acted as though he hadn't heard a word Sam had said. He was too close to care, as horrible as it sounded. Any woman he had been with would testify to the fact that Dean enjoyed it rough, though that didn't mean Dean didn't have a gentle side... Castiel, he did something to Dean—drove him crazy with lust and love with his naiveté and gorgeousness and irrevocable innocence—he just couldn't resist himself.
Dean breathed out the words, "Cass... so sorry, I'm so sorry..."
"It's okay, Dean," Castiel whispered back, his voice full of pain. "I understand the sheer need now..."
"Well I don't!" Sam said angrily. "Dean, you're practically ripping him in two!"
Dean couldn't immediately recall the fact that this was the third time Castiel had been taken in the past 24 hours, but when realization kicked in he slowed things down a bit, as difficult as it was to do.
Meanwhile, Castiel could feel himself becoming aroused again, and it made him feel disgusted with himself. He felt debauched, degraded...
He felt like a whore.
He let go of Sam's hand and instead used it to begin touching himself in the way that Dean had touched him earlier. Sam couldn't believe it.
Dean couldn't believe it, either, in spite of the fact that he had given women multiple orgasms before.
As Dean continued to take him from behind, Castiel became all the more aroused until he was fully hard again.
"Dean, please!" Castiel begged him. "Fuck me! Fuck me hard!"
Sam's jaw dropped out of utter shock.
That... hadn't sounded much like the Castiel they knew, although Castiel was feeling as though the angel they had come to know and love was dead...
Castiel continued to stroke himself off in timing with Dean's thrusts into him, feeling—knowing—that he was going to orgasm a second time. It hurt so much, but there was something so deliciously satisfying about the sort of pain he was experiencing. It made him feel desired and loved and alive again all in one.
Dean was close, and it seemed Castiel was close again, too. The lights in the bunker began to flicker on and off, and they could hear the static from the nearest radios that Castiel had unintentionally turned on. The bathroom mirrors had also cracked.
Even if Castiel was powerless now, something about his angelic light was still with him. His grace, which Castiel felt he had lost, just like his powers. He felt like God was punishing him. Outside of Dean and Sam, his entire life on Earth had been one, big hell. When he wasn't with them, he wanted to be. Heaven and hell no longer mattered to him. All of the other angels no longer mattered to him.
God no longer mattered to him.
Nothing did, except the Winchesters...
Dean finally felt himself nearing his peak. He figured he probably would have come sooner if Sam hadn't been there naked and staring at him like he was some sort of psychopath. But that was beside the point.
"Cass... Cass, oh Cass," Dean said, speeding up all over again, moving harder again, though it seemed Castiel was getting off on the pain in the same way Dean was getting off to him. "Come with me..." Dean whispered to him.
"I-I'll try..."
Dean placed his hand over Castiel's, over the hand he was using to stroke himself with, relieving him of the responsibility. Dean was all too happy to help him come.
"Cass, I... oh God, Cass!" Dean exclaimed as he finally came into Castiel, who then came himself, calling Dean's name while proclaiming how much he loved him at the same time.
Castiel collapsed, his head resting in Sam's lap as he fought to regain his breathing. That horrible feeling he and Sam had been stricken with earlier was gone, though they felt horrible nonetheless.
Sam ran his fingers through Castiel's dark hair again, smoothly, lovingly. "It's all right, Cass... you're... you're going to be alright..."
But Sam wasn't. He covered his mouth and rapidly stood from the bed, running to the nearest bathroom and slamming the door behind him with force. Dean and Castiel both could hear him retching from the other side.
Castiel looked like a zombie, his eyes empty and seemingly dead.
"What have I done...?" he whispered. "My virtue really is gone. I allowed you and Sam both to use my body in a way that an angel's body should never be used... I-I'm not an angel, I'm not a human, I... I don't know what I am anymore. I... I can only feel like a whore..."
"Ssh, Cass," Dean said, gripping Castiel by the shoulders and looking into his blue eyes. "Your virtue isn't gone, and you're not a whore, you hear me?"
Castiel remained silent and motionless.
Dean shook him a little. "Hey. Hey Cass, you listening to me? You understand?"
Castiel turned his head to the left, facing Dean once more from his seat on the bed.
There were tears in his eyes. Actual tears. Castiel didn't cry. He never cried. He had promised himself that he never would cry. If he had allowed himself to cry every time he was saddened about something, there wouldn't be enough tears in the world for him.
Still, he began to cry.
Dean pulled Castiel into his arms. Castiel wrapped his arms back around Dean, before the angel began to cry on his shoulder shortly thereafter.
"Ssh, Cass," Dean said as Castiel began to literally sob. Dean had never seen him like this before. It was as if Castiel's whole world had fallen apart.
Dean wrapped his arms tightly around Castiel, pulling him against his chest. "It's okay, Cass... you-you can cry. Let it out, let it all out..."
Dean couldn't help it. He began to cry, too, though it wasn't audible the way Castiel's sobbing was. With Castiel's head still on his shoulder, Dean caressed his back and kissed his forehead while Castiel just... wept.
It was almost a decade's worth of tears finally spilling out.
"Why won't God just let me die?" Castiel said earnestly.
"Because He knows you mean too much to Sam and me," Dean whispered as another tear streaked down his own face. "He knows that we can't live without you."
Sam came out of the bathroom, wordless as he picked up his clothes, turned around and began putting them back on.
He hated himself for what he had done to Castiel, and to Dean. He couldn't even bring himself to look at either of them as he walked out of the bedroom and paced down the hall into his own room, slamming the door behind him, hard.
Castiel then stood up, almost limping as he picked his own clothes off of the floor and attempted to put them back on. He nearly fell over.
"Cass," Dean said silently, zipping up his jeans and walking over to the angel. "Cass, you need to rest."
When Dean touched Castiel on the shoulder, Castiel shook his touch off, reacting as though he had PTSD.
"Don't touch me!" he shouted, backing away from Dean, acting revolted and afraid.
With all of his clothing now on with the exception of his tie, Castiel walked slowly to the doorway, seemingly in a lot of pain. He placed one hand on the wall, catching himself so that he wouldn't fall down.
"Cass..." Dean whispered again. "You... you need to lie down..."
"I can do that in my own room," the angel said back to him.
And then just like that, he was gone.
Dean knew none of them would be sleeping tonight.
000
A/N: Thanks for reading.
Again, please no flames!