Life, with a little spice – Chapter 2
Thanks so much for reading, favoriting, following and most of all, reviewing my story. I was touched to realize some of you were actually waiting for this story to go on. I'll try to do my best to please you. Note that the first chapters won't feature recipes but you can find lots of new ones on my blog and on my Laurieandfluffy instagram account. Any requests? Don't hesitate to PM me. I'm like Louise – I love challenges.
Jen wakes her up after a few hours. Sheppard has told her there are quite a few questions left unanswered. She's allowed to shower and change into clean clothes but nothing she had with her has been given back to her and she feels naked without the few pieces of jewellery she normally wears. She's escorted once more by two stern-looking marines that she does know but refuse to make eye contact anyway. Not a week ago, they would drop by at the mess hall and trade jokes with her and today, they're acting like she's the enemy.
She tries to keep her breathing under control as she enters the room. John is there, waiting for her with Major Teldy. He offers her a seat, drawing it for her, and sits on the other side of the table. It still looks too much like an interrogation and she's immediately reminded of her run in with the inquisition and the IOA too. She sits straight in her chair, her back not touching it, and folds her hands together on the table.
Teldy nods at her. "Ma'am," she greets her sternly. Louise gives her a tired smile.
"I'm sorry I had to wake you up," John tells her, acting more demure than he has ever since she's returned. She sees he's trying hard to look cool and detached. "We need you to answer a few questions." Louise nods and waits. "We have established that you appear, at least for the time being, to have the same characteristics Louise Léger had in her medical file." She cringes at the "buts" she hears in his speech. He still doesn't believe it's her in front of him. "McKay and Zelenka are working on the mystery of your disappearance from a technical point of view," he adds, making air quotes. "What I need to know is why you would have strayed in the first place and been separated from the group. I want you to retrace your steps with Major Teldy here. Having your point of view on what happened might help greatly."
She nods. "What if we can't determine why or how it happened?" she wants to know.
"Pray we do. I advise you strongly to fully cooperate or you might not see the light of day again," he tells her then looks away.
She gasps. "What do you mean?"
"If we can't establish you're indeed Louise, without the trace of a doubt, the IOA is asking us to hand you to them. I don't think they'll take too kindly to having a potential live grenade on their hands," he scoffs. He sees her gulp. "Now, relax. This is why you are here – to try and establish what happened."
"Do you even want to believe it could be me, John?" she whispers, her eyes brimming with tears. "Or is your mind already made?"
Teldy looks embarrassed. This is no place for such conversations. Luckily, they have not turned the recorder on yet. "Sir, would you like me to give you two a moment?" she offers.
He shakes his head. "No, Major. Why would I?" he answers cockily, making Louise flinch.
He's not once come to see her, even when she was with Shep. She feels abandoned and betrayed and so scared she feels like she's being tortured again by the witch hunters, except this time, the scars won't heal.
He turns on the recorder and briefly recounts what happened in the last three days then looks at a list of questions he's established in a preliminary meeting with Rodney and Teldy.
The minutes turn into hours and she has to go over all the minute details, reliving every single moment of her stay on the planet, from the time she left Atlantis to the time she returned.
"I don't get it. You're saying you got lost but Teldy says you never did. She said you stepped through the gate wih them but never made it on the other side. And neither she, nor the rest of the team, saw any fog," he points out.
She hangs her head in dispair. They've not made any progress and if the interview tells the IOA anything, it's that she's a liar. "I don't know, John. What do you want me to say? I saw what I saw. I can't make things up to please you."
He huffs in exasperation. "I'm not asking you to lie," he says through clenched teeth. "Just to tell the truth!"
"But I am!" she counters and rubs her temples. "Look, we're not making any progress. Can we stop? Please?" she begs him.
He nods. "We'll have a recess until this afternoon. You can grab some food and have a nap if you want." He lifts his hand, seeing her stand. "I have to inform you we've decided to monitor you but let you roam freely through most of the areas of the City." Her eyes light up.
"It's not a compassionate gesture. Dr Keller has mentioned letting you mingle with people might help you remember – that is, if you're really who you say you are," he adds, crushing her hopes. "Know that, should you ever do something suspicious, you'll be put in the brig until further notice. Understood?"
She nods. "Yes, John. I do understand. May I go now?"
He motions for her to feel free to leave.
She reaches the infirmary as Keller is talking on her headset. "Yes, Sir, I do understand you don't have much hope but I need you to humor me and let her think she has a chance – if you tell her she's a goner, she might snap and never remember what happened to her. This is probably our last chance of helping her."
Louise retraces her steps and leaves the infirmary quietly. Tylenol for her headache is clearly not what she needs. What she needs is something much stronger and she knows exactly where to get it.
She waits until Rodney finally decides to take a break, hiding in the room next to his lab, then when he leaves for the mess hall with the promise he'll return with a tray for Radek, she counts to ten and knocks on the door tentatively. Radek turns and freezes. He gulps and pushes his glasses up his nose. "Ms Léger. Hi," he greets her, looking embarrassed.
He's never been one for social interaction but this is downright creepy for him. Louise has always been good to him – never forgetting to bring him food whenever there was a crisis and he would be stuck in his lab with too much work on his hands to even move from his workstation. But knowing the woman who's standing in front of him might indeed be her scares him more than if she were not. He feels the pressure of having to work against time itself, trying to unravel the mystery before she's sent away.
"If you're looking for Rodney," he informs her – hoping it's indeed the case – "he's just left for the mess hall."
"I know," she answers truthfully. "It's you I need to see." She shuffles her feet uncomfortably and seeing her as awkward as he is helps him relax a little.
"I'm sorry, Ms Léger. I'm being rude, not offering you a seat," he apologizes profusely, motioning for her to join him. She shakes her head. "That's quite alright, Mr Zelenka. No need to apologize. I should be the one. I'm disturbing you as you're trying to help me." He lifts his eyebrows. "Colonel Sheppard told me," she elaborates.
"Ah, I see," he answers, grinning. "I'm glad Colonel Sheppard is finally coming round."
She shakes her head sadly. "He's not. We're barely on speaking terms. I've just been interviewed, that's all." Radek looks away, clearly at odds. "Look, Mr Zelenka, I didn't want to bother you but there is something I need and only you will be able to procure it for me," she explains and sighs. "Whatever you need, Ms Léger. If it's not illegal, of course," he amends hurriedly.
She nods. "It's not. Look. Dr Keller refuses to give me something stronger than Tylenol and I'm under a lot of stress. I need to relax if I want to get through this ordeal in one piece."
He nods. "I do understand but I run a lab, not an infirmary."
"But you also happen to make the only moonshine on board, as I recall," she answers, tilting her head at him.
It dawns on him. "Oh, I see. You need a couple of drinks to unwind. Is that it?"
She laughs humorlessly. "Yes, something like that. Would you grant me that respite, Mr Zelenka?"
He thinks about it and pushes his glasses up his nose once more. "Is Dr Keller OK with that?"
She gives him a non-committal smile. "Let's say she would not approve, being a doctor and all, but whatever helps cannot be considered as a bad thing, right?"
"Look, Ms Léger, I do want to help you but I've never seen you drink before and the stuff I make, it's quite strong. Do you think you can handle it?"
She laughs humorlessly. "Oh, don't you worry, Mr Zelenka, I can handle it alright. I don't drink by choice, not by lack of use. I'll be alright."
He winces, feeling caught between the hammer and the anvil. Louise has always been nice to him and he really wants to help. But then there's Dr Keller. "Dr Keller is quite the dragon when it comes to her patients' health," he says hesitantly.
"Don't worry. I promise no one will see me and report me or you." She looks hopeful so he relents and reaches into one of the cabinets and discreetly hands her a bottle in a paper bag, making sure their backs are to the cameras.
"Don't drink too much of it. It's strong stuff. Downing that bottle would surely kill you," he informs her.
She nods and takes it then kisses his cheek. "Thank you, Radek. You have no idea how much this is going to help."
She leaves the room and tucking the small flat bottle under her jacket, heads for the west pier where, years ago, John and herself had had their first fall out, precisely because of her refusal to admit her addiction to him. This is where it should have ended. But instead, she'd let him into her life and now she's only left with regrets – regrets of not having listened to that little voice in her head telling her to shut them all out for good and protect herself.
It's high time to set things straight. She sits with her feet dangling over the tropical waters of the planet where the City is currently anchored. She hasn't even asked where they are. Actually, she doesn't care. She thinks for a moment about Shep but then she knows they won't let her keep him. And he has John, she tells herself. She unscrews the bottle and hesitates for a whole minute, her hand poised midway to her lips then she breathes out and lifts it to her lips.
The first taste makes her cough and gag. She hasn't had a drink in years and Radek was right, this is much stronger than what she was used to drinking. Tears well up in the eyes from the fire of the liquor but then she feels the warm feeling invade her stomach, filling her with content as she knows she's minutes away from feeling warm and cosy and as if she didn't not have a care in the world. She starts sipping at it and closes her eyes in content.
Radek said it'd kill me to drink the whole bottle, she reflects. Is that what she wants? To leave before her time? But then, what is left for her here? Porbably nothing apart sorrow and most likely an existence behind the bars of a cell somewhere in Area 51, and that's if she's lucky.
She lifts the bottle to her lips and takes one long sip at the fiery liquid.
"What the hell do you think you're doing?" The bottle is knocked from her hand into the water and John drags her up roughly then makes her turn around. "God, Louise, what have you done?" he bellows, shaking her.
She looks away, tears of shame in her eyes. "Why did you have to come and find me?" she whispers reproachfully. "Couldn't you give me time to end this once and for all? Don't you see? It would be so much better for all of us," she whimpers.
"How can you say that?" he growls. "How can the death of the woman I love make anything better?" He glares at her, one of his hands still gripping her arm, and taps his communicator. "Dr Keller, this is Colonel Sheppard. Get ready to treat Ms Léger. Intoxication," he only adds. "I'm on my way. Sheppard out."
He shoves her in front of him. "You're gonna walk. I need the liquor out of your system. A little exercise won't hurt." She protests but he shoves her again. "Get going, Léger. I'll give you a talking to later."
He ends up wrapping his arm around her waist to support her as they enter the corridor leading to the infirmary. The liquor's taking its toll on her, making her dizzy and weak. On top of that, she has a splitting headache. She wants nothing more than to curl up in a ball in the dark. "We're almost there," he whispers in her hair and draws her closer. His body radiates heat and it feels so good there, tucked up against him, she rests her head on his shoulder. He sighs. "Louise, please. Don't push it."
"So I'm Louise now?" she counters drowsily.
"What am I supposed to call you?" he huffs.
"You were very careful not to call me anything these last few days," she points out.
He huffs. "You're a pain, you know."
"And you're a hypocrite," she counters.
Keller walks to them briskly. "I'll take it from here, Colonel," she says and wraps her arm around Louise's shoulders, pulling her away from him. "I'll get back to you when I've run a full physical." She turns to Louise. "Come with me."
Louise looks at John. He pouts. "Go with her. She'll take care of you. I need to get back to work." He tucks his hands in his pants pockets and leaves, his shoulders hunched. Louise frowns but she can barely headache is making her feel like crawling under the covers and staying there forever – the shame too. But Keller has other plans for her, it seems.
"Listen. I'm not going to read you the riot act but you need to know what you did was incredibly stupid. We're gonna wean you out of this asap but the days to come won't be easy, that's for sure," she adds, frowning, and makes her lay down on the bed.
"Is he ever going to forgive me for that?" Louise wonders, looking towards the door.
"I don't know, Louise. I guess you'll have to work extra hard for that to happen now." Keller smiles at her and pats her arm. "But first things first."
Louise turns to her drowsily, her eyes closing. "He said he loved me, Jen. I mean, I think he did."
TBC
OK, Louise's less than perfect... Will you still love her that way?