SGA Life, with a little spice - Chapter 15
She's grateful when Ronon appears on her doorstep the next morning and offers to escort her for her morning walk with Shep. She's used to having a jog to the West Pier and back with him but won't take risks now she's pregnant and yet, Shep needs the exercise.
As he grew up back in Tahoe, she was lucky to have Doug's sound advice and occasional help or she wouldn't have handled him. He might look like a cutie but he comes from a breed that's used to having a job to do and if she doesn't give him his hour of exercise a day, he's bound to get in trouble.
Ronon doesn't talk about her pregnancy or her fallout with John – just walks by her side with his hands behind his back. She sees he's making efforts to walk at her pace and not his. She gives him a tentative smile as they watch the sun rise over the City. "Thanks for the company," she says quietly. He nods sternly, reminding her of Teal'c, but doesn't say a word so she feels forced to ask. "Did John tell you...?" she starts.
He nods. "He did."
"Everything?" she insists, biting her bottom lip. She already knows Jen and Teyla and Rodney do not approve of her decision but have agreed to support her, no matter what. But Ronon and Lorne are Sheppard's 2ICs. She's already had to bear Evan's reproving look last night when she served dinner. She hopes Ronon won't give her the cold shoulder.
He nods again. "If you want my blessing, forget about it, Louise," he says, crushing her hopes. He trains his gaze on her and she shudders.
"Look, Ronon, it was not an easy decision," she pleads, laying her hand tentatively on his forearm. He doesn't shrug her off but he doesn't make a move to comfort her either. "I don't see what's so difficult, Louise," he counters. "He loves you, you love him. Your child is long dead and this one," he points at her belly, "will be here soon. Sounds simple enough to me." Her bottom lip starts quivering.
"Come on," he says, grabbing Shep's Frisbee and whistling for the dog, "we've got to go back."
"He means well," Jen has countered her when she's told her about Ronon chiding her. "He sees his friend suffer and he knows you're suffering too. I know how hard it's been for you to accept to live again – not just survive another day without Gabriel but Ronon has a point. I think, in his own blunt way, he's trying to push you in the right direction..."
"Louise, hey, Louise, still listening to me?" Ventrell's voice takes her back to the here and now and she shakes her head to clear her mind.
"Sorry," she winces. "I spaced out, I think."
He chuckles. "Hope you don't do that too often."
She shrugs. "Sorry to disappoint but actually, I do, especially when I cook."
"Well, lady, you're not this afternoon and we need to interrogate all those people," he says, tapping with his finger on the list in front of her.
She sighs and peers at the list. "OK. You're the boss." He smirks and she rolls her eyes. "Don't be so full of yourself, Mister. And don't take it at face value." She waves the list at him. "Have you already met these people?" she wonders. "It would help if they could relax a bit and not see you as the big bad wolf."
He snorts. "No, sorry. I know a few of your people because they happened to be there the last time I walked into the mess hall or kitchen. I haven't even had time to peruse their files. Actually, I was kind of hoping you'd tell me about them."
She rolls her eyes once more. "So if I understand properly, I'm the one doing all the dirty work here!" she teases him.
He shrugs but she sees his lips turn up just a little. "You were so good at it yesterday, I thought why bother?" he teases her in return.
She giggles, relaxing for the first time since her morning walk with Ronon. "All right then, bring them in. I don't have all day!"
"Going somewhere?" he banters.
She gives him a cheeky grin. "I've got a needy little buddy waiting for me right outside the door and if he doesn't get my attention soon, I'm telling you, we'll have plenty of mischief on our hands!"
Blakeley is first and though he's very stressed, the device clears him quickly. The guy couldn't lie if his life depended on it. She sends him back to the kitchens to take over Bill Cox's shift. They see a couple preps while he's gone that they clear as well and then wait for Cox to join them. When he doesn't turn up, she calls Blakeley. "Did you forget to tell Cox to join us, Sergeant?" she asks her under-cook.
He sounds surprised. "No, Ma'am. I reminded him it was his turn. Plus the two preps you mentioned as well. He said he'd be on his way."
A sense of foreboding seizes her. It's the middle of the afternoon and there's hardly anyone in the mess hall and corridors leading to it. Most people are occupied elsewhere. She gulps and turns to Ventrell. "Something is terribly wrong. He should be here by now. Oh God, I don't want to have to live through that again," she whimpers.
He walks up to her and makes her sit. "OK, relax, deep breathing," he orders her gently and rubs her back. "That's it," he says when he sees her relax. He taps his headset. "Sheppard, please come in." He fills him in briefly with what little he has and ends the connection. He turns to Louise. "They're out to find him." He sees her look of pure anguish. "Hey, they will find him. I'm sure he's OK. It's probably some kind of misunderstanding. He might have thought he had time to take a walk while we interviewed the preps. He'll turn up alright."
He sits next to her, takes Cox's file from the pile sitting in front of Louise and flips it open. And stares.
She turns to him. "What?" she demands, her heart skipping a beat.
He doesn't answer her but taps his headset instead. "Sheppard, I advise extreme caution while you search for Cox. Tell your men he's not who he pretends he is. He's extremely dangerous, especially now he knows his cover is blown." She stares at him, not yet getting it. "Yeah," he answers John, "I know of him. Trust agent. Has a bounty on his head. I was never able to catch him... Until now," he adds with a grim smile that makes Louise shudder in spite of herself. For a moment, she'd been able to forget the man sitting next to her is one of the best bounty-hunters in two galaxies and a ruthless henchman.
He turns to her and his smile loses its cruel edge and turns gentle. "Hey, it's OK. We'll catch him." He rises to his feet. "I'm joining the search. Teyla is on her way. She'll stay with you."
He opens the door and whistles for Shep. "Buddy," he tells the dog who's still cautious around him and is waiting for his mistress's order to come and join her, "you stay with your mommy and you guard her with your life. Got it?" The dog turns his head just so then gets into the room before she even has the time to call him. He comes to sit next to her as if saying See, you can go. I'm taking over.
Teyla arrives a few minutes later and offers to take her back to the kitchen. Every time Louise is upset, she can be found in the kitchen testing some new and usually incredibly difficult recipe to keep her mind busy. Ever since she relapsed in that alternate future, she's told Teyla, comfty recipes she's made ever since she was a child are not enough anymore.
She ends up with several bowls in front of her and her tablet and Teyla can't help smiling at the look of intense concentration on her friend's face. "What will that be today, Louise?" she wonders.
Louise doesn't look up from her perusal of the recipe as she jots down what she needs for her mise en place. "Pie. Something they make in the South-Western part of my country. It's not very difficult to make but it takes time and I've only made it once and that was years ago. Should keep me busy." She takes out two molds from her cabinets. "There are two versions of it, depending on its filling – custard and cherry preserve. I can't decide which one to make..." she adds, tapping her forefinger on her lips.
"So you're going to make both," Teyla fills in, her lips turning up.
Louise shrugs apologetically. "I should be worrying and brooding and in another lifetime, I would have been wild with anguish and would have probably bitten my nails raw but baking, that's what saves me from going bonkers. Always."
Teyla chuckles. "Don't apologize. We certainly don't complain around here when you get into a baking frenzy."
"At least, that's an addiction that has its silver lining," Louise adds to which Teyla nods quietly. She's relieved to see that for the moment, at least, Louise is still able to cling to that.
Teyla sits at the table and observes her as she makes her way through the whole recipe. Louise seems to glow when she bakes and not once does she loses the smile that's on her face. When she finally sets the timer on her oven, it's been more than an hour and that's when she realizes they haven't heard from John or Ventrell.
She bites her bottom lip and sits opposite her friend at the long table in the middle of the room. "Shouldn't we have heard from them by now?" she asks her worriedly.
Teyla gives her a tense smile and calls Chuck. She turns to Louise to fill her in. "He says he's had contact with them a couple of minutes ago but they've still got nothing."
"How is that possible? John sealed the whole city off. The guy cannot disappear out of thin air!" Louise growls in frustration. "We need to be done with all this nonsense and move on with our lives. I'm sick and tired of being cooped up here," she adds, slapping her hand on the table.
Teyla gives her a tired smile. "We all are, Louise, but these things take time. Just be thankful Ventrell was able to recognize him."
Louise sighs. "He must have felt cornered. He probably knew Ventrell would know who he was. But what if they can't find him? And what if there are more of them?"
"We will find him and Ventrell will make sure no one else is a danger to this city, Louise," she hears behind her. She tenses, recognizing John's voice. There's a dangerous edge to it – the one she's come to know he reserves for those he won't have any compassion for.
She turns in her chair to see him standing in the doorway, his hands resting on his P90 he's latched onto his vest. He's watching her worriedly. She fidgets and pushes her chair back to stand, feeling suddenly very small. Her first instinct is to run in his arms but it's not an option anymore, she reminds herself bitterly. She clenches her fists at her sides instead.
"I hope you catch him soon," she says through clenched teeth. "And when you do, I want to be there and be the first to interrogate him. I can't believe I entrusted the guy with some of my team. Who knows what he could have done to them," she adds, shuddering.
"We were lucky Ventrell's presence pushed him into revealing himself," Teyla reflects.
Louise nods. "And if he's as good as he seems to be, all this will soon be a distant nightmare. I'll work round the clock if need be," she tells John. "Anything to clear everyone. We need to put this behind us and when we do," she adds, her eyes glinting with anger, "we gate back to that planet and find who's behind all this and I promise you, they'll regret ever trying to attack us."
She sees Ventrell smirk and wink at her as he enters the room behind Sheppard but John doesn't seem pleased at all.
"You will do no such thing, Louise," he tells her, staring her down. "No gating back to that planet for you – ever – and no working round the clock. And if I ever catch you disobeying my orders, you're on house arrest for the rest of your pregnancy," he growls, pointing at her accusingly.
"What?" she yelps, royally pissed, and glares at him but it's only his back she's glaring at now because he's already turned on his heels and is leaving the room.
"Teyla, you're with me," he calls over his shoulder. "Ventrell, stay with Louise and you two finish with your scheduled interviews." He stops next to the other man and gives him a pat on his arm. He points towards Louise with his thumb. "You make sure she doesn't work overtime, gets a decent dinner and then you herd her and Shep to her quarters. Place two guards at her door. I need to know she's safe – for my own sanity," he sniggers, before leaving without a single look towards her.
"Now, wait, Mister," she growls after him but he's already gone and the doors whoosh closed behind him and his team.
She slaps her hand once more on the nearest surface and yells "Damn! Damn him!"
Ventrell pouts. "He's only trying to protect you, Louise. I'd do the same if I had someone I loved. I'd protect her, even against herself."
She turns to him, glaring. "Yeah, well, you don't," she answers nastily, "and if you did, I'd tell you that's the biggest mistake a man can do with a woman – that is, if he wants to keep her, of course!" she scoffs.
She looks away, knowing she's being a bitch and that's not fair after how considerate Ventrell has been recently, but she's too wound up to keep her foul mouth shut.
"I didn't know you could be so cruel, Louise," he tells her, looking almost hurt. "Yes, it's true, I don't have someone who loves me, and I do understand you're scared and pissed at Sheppard's way of talking to you, but being unkind to me won't change a thing about it."
She looks up, flushing with shame. "I'm sorry for lashing out at you," she whispers in a hoarse voice. "I don't know what got into me. I... it seems John Sheppard knows how to get the best and worst out of me."
"And these days, it's the worst, right?" Ventrell asks.
She silently nods and walks up to him. "Will you forgive me?" she asks, tears clinging to her eyelashes.
He smiles benevolently. "Of course, Louise," he replies, taking her hand in his. "I know you're hurt and you feel lost..."
She nods again. "He made me so angry," she scoffs. "He always does that – decides what's best for me. Protects me without asking first. I thought we were past that but I can see he'll never change." She takes her hand from his to fold her arms on her chest. "I was independent when I came here, you know. I was my own boss. I'd decide how I lived my life. But then he came along and he started telling me that I couldn't do this, couldn't do that..." She taps her foot impatiently. "And now, I'm just what? A womb? So if I don't do as I'm told, I'm going to be ordered back to my quarters like a kid who hasn't eaten their veggies?" she cries out.
He shakes his head and makes her unfold her arms gently. "Hey, relax. You don't need to work yourself up. I'm on your side here. I get it. You know what's good for you. You don't want someone else to manage your life."
She nods gratefully. "Look. I still think Sheppard's decisions are only genuinely meant to protect you and this city..."
She huffs. He lifts his forefinger. "But, I get your point and you can count on me to back you up." He sees her hopeful look and adds hurriedly: "But only if your demands are rational and won't put you in danger, OK?"
She nods eagerly, making him chuckle. "Eh, Louise, shouldn't you turn off that timer or something?" he asks her as he sees her space out again.
"Oh, oh, shit," she yells and rushes to her oven. She opens it hurriedly and sighs in relief. "Thank goodness, you heard it." She removes the pies from the oven and sets them on a wire rack to cool before she can unmold them. She turns to him and winks. "You, Mister, better like sugary stuff because you're going to be the first to taste those," she informs him with a smirk.
He narrows his eyes at the pies, licking his top lip. "Both?" he asks.
She nods. "Both!"
It's late at night and she's still giggling with delight at seeing his look of pure bliss when she'd set a second helping of both pies on his plate. Of course, he was disappointed when she'd told him he couldn't taste them right away because they needed to cool off completely and would taste much better after spending a couple hours in the fridge but his look was priceless when he took his first bite at it after they returned from an afternoon of interviews.
On the plus side, they've cleared most of her staff. On the downside, though, Cox is nowhere to be found. She's decided to look on the bright side of things and is in a good mood tonight. Of course, deep down, she knows it's her mood swings taking her logic on a roller coaster and if her first pregnancy is any testimony to what's awaiting her in the months to come, she's in for a hell of a ride.
She remembers how miserable she'd felt, especially when she would try her best to look cheerful though she wanted to scream in frustration and that makes her sad and empty inside. But probably it's for the best because, let's face it, John is not good at handling emotions, not his and least of all hers and if they were still living in the same quarters, she'd probably make his life miserable – and hers too.
"Louise, you've spaced out again," Ventrell chides gently.
She looks up and pouts. "Sorry..." she drawls. "I do that a lot, especially these days. Feel free to take your plate and go eat somewhere else if you want. I'm not fun being around."
He shakes his head. "Can you stop berating yourself? It was just me being concerned. You can space out as much as you want."
She lifts her eyebrows. "I can? Waoh! You're lenient! It always pisses people off when I do that. My mother used to say I had my head in the clouds when I should set my feet firmly on the ground," she snorts self-deprecatingly.
He pouts. "I take your mother and yourself never understood each other."
She shakes her head. "Never." She points at herself. "Wild imagination and a talent for making the wrong decisions. She, in return, is always perfect. I think the only thing she did wrong was having me. Biggest disappointment in her whole life," she sighs.
He shakes his head but says nothing. He tucks in his pies and downs them with his steaming mug of coffee then smacks his lips contentedly. "You know, I was never one for dessert but I could get used to that," he compliments her.
She smirks. "See, didn't take you long to come round."
"I wouldn't want you to think I'm a softie," he banters back.
She rolls her eyes. "I wouldn't dare think that, Mr Ventrell."
TBC
Extract from Louise's Cookbook
Gâteau basque
This is a French cake made in South-Western France. So addictive that once you've tasted it, you'd do anything to have some on a regular basis – like every week. Yeah, that's how obsessed I am with the thing.
And it's OK when you're on vacation there and can buy it on marketplace anytime you want. That's a different matter when you return home and all you find is a poor imitation of that scrumptious dessert.
Here's the thing. When I get obsessed, I need to do something about it or I go wacko. So instead of that, guess what? I went in search of the perfect recipe, tested quite a few and came up with that one. And now, it's all yours!
Don't get shy when you see the instructions. It's actually very simple. And so worth it. Really worth it.
Let's get started. Note that you'll only need egg yolks so if you don't know what to do with the whites, I suggest rench Almond Tea Cakes called Financiers, Macarons, Amarettis or if you don't fancy something sweet, why not some Red Lobster Shrimp Cocktail? (all on my blog!)
For six individual cakes or 1 big one:
For the Crust:
100g butter, softened
100g sugar
1 pinch salt
2 egg yolks
150g flour, sifted
15g almond powder
Whisk the butter and sugar until the mixture is light and fluffy. Add the yolks, salt and almond powder. Finish with the flour, sifted. Do not overmix. Refrigerate for one hour.
For the filling: Oh joy, you have to options and since I can't choose between the two – custard or cherry purée, I make one of each! So for this recipe, either you make three individual cakes of each or you make double the amount and have two cakes and I can guarantee you, they'll be gone in no time, especially if you serve them for breakfast.
Custard Filling:
1/2 cup milk
a few drops of vanilla extract
1 egg yolk
1/8 cup sugar
10g flour, sifted
15g almond powder
a drop of rum
Boil the milk with vanilla.
Whisk the sugar and yolk. Add the flour and whisk well.
Add the milk while boiling. Whisk and pour in the pan and let the custard thicken while whisking constantly. Remove the pan. Add the almond powder and rum. Cool the mixture and refrigerate.
Cherry purée
In a pan, mix fresh or frozen cherries, thawed, with sugar and boil until you get a thick purée. Cool it and use cherry jam.
To assemble the cakes:
Roll ou the dough on a dusted surface. For a whole cake, cut two circles and for individual cakes 12 circles – one for the top part and one for the bottom. The bottom part should be a little smaller than the top.
Spread the filling on the bottom part. Add the top crust and pinch the sides to close well.
Brush with some egg yolk wash (I usually keep a little yolk for that and mix it with a few drops of water) or icing sugar mixed with water.
Bake 20 mn at 350°F on a baking sheet or in cake molds.
Cool on a wire rack. Enjoy!