Prompt: 'I pick my poison' Regina: Do you think Rumple is awake?
'I Pick My Poison' is another fanfiction of mine.
Rated T.
"Awake?" She asked, leaning forward on the bar top, palms pressed hard against the surface. "Think? Pshh. I know! And you know why he's pretending? Huh, huh, do you?"
Shaking her head she lifted her hands and balled them into fists before her eyes landed on the sixty year old whiskey bottle. Reaching forward she twisted the cap and brought it to her lips, gulping the contents in large swigs, her throat burning at the contact.
Slamming the bottle down she screwed her features up into a scowl. "He thinks he can pretend to be asleep and I'll think it's because he doesn't want to help me. B't you know what it is, don't you, don't you? Yeah, you do. He wants to keep our happy hours going. But I hate to break it to the detective, the fine ass, sweet lump of a man, dark angel, my desirable imp.." She brought her hands up to her face and placed her palms on her cheek. "What was I saying?"
Regina threw herself over the bar top then, pressing her cheek firmly against the surface and pretending it were Rumples hands. "I neeeeed him. I need Emma, she knows 'what I'm talking about. She knows."
"Who knows?" Henry entered the bar then, laptop tucked beneath his arm.
"You wouldn't know but Henryyyyyy. Henry, I need you to go fetch Weaver for me. I need you to tell him that I need him. That I offered him a favor, that he can have it and that happy hour is at midnight".
"What?" He placed his laptop against the bar, not at all understanding what she was going on about. "I thought Weaver was someone we couldn't trust?" He had remembered the many conversations she had with him about Weaver and his ways.
"Oh, right. We can't trust him, that's why I've decided to tie him up. Yes. I want you o go fetch him for me Henry, please, fetch my dark king, my all knowing, all seeing, all brilliant green man. Get the badge wearing hunk of a copper and bring him to me, Henry. Henry. Henry, are you listening? Look at me. I need you to look me in my face and tell me you understand."
"But I-I really don't."
"Where's Emma when you need her bug. Where's magic. Why can't I just conjure him-OH! WAIT!" Straightening herself up, a smile tugging on her lips as she chanted the following name "Rumplestiltskin. Rumplestiltskin. I summon thee all powerful and sexy as hell imp. I summon you and your very very helpful and useful dagger. Rumple-"
"Great. You're drunk and actually think a character in my book is real. Nice, Roni."