A/N: Again, thank you to everyone who reviewed this. This chapter for some reason was very difficult to write. I originally wanted it to be a Jasper's POV, but every time I started writing I got stuck, and I realized it was because I really did need this chapter to come first in the story. I actually think it progresses the story better this way, but I know there are a few of you that wanted to see Jasper's POV from the hunt in this one. I promise, you will find out what he is thinking next chapter.
Also, a big shout out to SAW-V1. She has always been so kind with her reviews and she is now translating Slow and Steady into French, which is immense pleasure for me because I took many years of it in school. I now get a whole new set of reviewers enjoying the story and it is all thanks to her.
Like always, Twilight isn't mine, I just like to play with it from time to time. :)
Chapter Nine
Bella sat on the wooden porch swing, a worn copy of Pride and Prejudice in her hands that Jasper had sitting around the house. She tried to read a few sentences here and there, but her mind kept wandering. To say that she had been restless since the hunt was not completely accurate; she was still focused on getting her family to remember her, but she found her thoughts often turning to Jasper. With an exaggerated sigh, she gave up the pretense of reading the story, finally letting herself look out into the front yard.
For the past several hours, Jasper and Peter had been working outside. Jasper had abruptly decided during their research that he needed a break; his frustration reaching monumental levels. Without saying a word, he began to work furiously on the yard, rebuilding the rock walls, digging up long abandoned flowerbeds.
Peter, without saying a word, joined Jasper in his work, the dirt that marred his body nearly matching Jaspers at this point. She watched as the both of them lifted rocks, the efficiency in which they worked together not lost on Bella; the other understanding what it was the other needed before they needed to ask for it.
As Jasper brought more order to the land, she could see the tenseness in his body slowly melt away. She understood. He was in a situation that he couldn't control, but the land was something he was able to physically alter and change. He could work hard and see the results, unlike the rest of his life at that moment.
Jasper placed the last rock on the east side of wall and stood back for a moment, admiring the work he accomplished. She smiled softly at his back, glad he was getting satisfaction from the work he had been laboring nonstop on for five hours. Jasper turned just slightly, looking straight into Bella's eyes, his own orbs deep with emotion.
It was the first time he had even turned in her direction during this whole ordeal. She waved lightly at him, trying to ignore the feeling deep in the pit of her stomach. It was the intensity of his gaze that so often caught her off guard as of late, and more than once that she found herself thinking of it, how his look made her feel like the only person that mattered in the world.
Bella didn't understand why she was beginning to look at him differently since the hunt. She told herself it was because she was lonely and she was always around him. That had to have been it. But whatever the reason, it bothered her.
She glanced quickly down at her book, pushing her thoughts to Edward. She missed him. She missed his company and his crooked smile. If he was around, she wouldn't be even thinking about Jasper at all, she would be so wrapped up in him. She cursed for the millionth time the person or thing that was responsible for this. Bella just imaged what the two of them would be doing right now if it hadn't been for everything. Actually, right now, Edward would be school, studying some mundane subject for the twentieth time and Bella… well, Bella would most likely be with Jasper. She sadly laughed to herself at the irony.
The kitchen side door softly opened, Charlotte strolling out and sitting down next to Bella. She rocked her feet lightly, setting the porch swing in motion, before turning her head in Bella's direction.
"It's good to see you out here sugar. The computer light was beginning impact your complexion."
Bella raised her lips in a half smile. "Funny Char."
"No, but really, I am glad you are going outside. Since you have hunted with Jasper, it seems like you are doing better."
"You were right. I was going crazy being cooped up. I needed to give myself a little slack, a little time away. Who knows how long this craziness might go on for?"
"It seems that Jasper is following the same advice." Bella noticed the look Charlotte made in Jasper and Peter's direction. Bella's eyes followed as well.
"The yard is looking fantastic. By the end of the week you will be able to show it in Home and Garden magazine."
Charlotte nodded in agreement. "I don't think Peter is too pleased. But he knows that this is part of what Jasper needs at the moment and it's making Jasper happier so he will keep his bitching to a minimum. Actually, I am surprised he hasn't said anything yet."
"Jasper didn't ask him to start helping."
"He didn't need to. Peter, well, he just knows when Jasper needs a brotherly shoulder to lean on. He always has with Jasper. Working side by side in silence for hours, not Peter's thing since he can't seem to keep his mouth shut for more than five minutes, but he will play along until he think that Jasper's okay."
It occurred to her that while Bella felt close to Jasper now, the two vampires she was with knew so much more about him. She wanted to learn more about him; she wanted to know what made Jasper Whitlock tick.
Bella lowered her voice enough so that the two men could not eavesdrop and only the two female vampires could hear. "Char, tell me a story about Jasper. What was he like before the Cullens?"
Charlotte smiled. "That is a lot of ground to cover."
"We've got time."
She smiled broader at the comment. "Yes, we do. Where should we start?"
Bella's eyes glanced at Jasper once more, the feeling in her stomach tightening. She pulled her eyes away. "How about from the beginning?"
And she did. Charlotte delved into a series of stories about his beginnings as a vampire. Jasper had always told her that his life was hard under Maria, but she never understood how much so until she heard it from Charlotte's POV.
Charlotte had just been turned by Maria and woke up alone, in a room by herself, bewildered, scared, and hungry. Charlotte was quickly tossed into what they came to call the Pit, a series of rooms that were set aside for the new vampires.
It was a ruthless world, each vampire trying to show dominance over the next, trying to set themselves apart and gain favor in Maria's eyes. From the moment Charlotte was thrown in as a newborn, a red-headed female vampire known as Mary immediately took a dislike to her. The other vampire attacked Charlotte viciously daily, doing everything from belittling her in front of the other vampires to ripping her arm off.
It was during a particularly violent attack when a tall, blond haired vampire came walking in. Every newborn in the room instantly stopped what they were doing in the presence of the vampire. Charlotte, with her face smashed into the floor, looked up, curious who could cause such a reaction with the unruly group.
"Enough!" The imposing figure stated loudly, and suddenly tranquility enveloped Charlotte, replacing her anger and fear. His red eyes darted down to where Mary and Charlotte stood, his voice cold. "What is going on here?"
Mary stood up straight, releasing the petite vampire, as she stuttered her response. "Major… noth-nothing at all."
He raised an eyebrow. "Nothing? Mary, that is the third nothing in two weeks. You know the rules."
Mary was visibly shaking at this point. "I'm… I'm sorry! It will not happen again!"
He looked down at Charlotte once more before lifting his eyes back up. "You are right. It will not." He turned his face to two vampires behind him. "Kill her."
She screamed as two other vampires dragged her out of the room. He glanced around the room. "Let this be a reminder to you all. I do not, and will not, tolerate that kind of behavior. Save it for training or for the war. If not, I will do the same to you. Is that understood?"
The newborns weakly nodded their understanding.
"Good. Go back to your business." The blonde vampire then strode over to Charlotte, offering his hand. She took it gratefully and as she was pulled up, she looked into his eyes and was startled. His red eyes were distant and cold; but underneath, Charlotte clearly saw the pain that was masked so well that most would never notice.
She stood up, dusting herself off. "Thank you."
He nodded quickly. "You are welcome. What is your name?"
"Charlotte."
"Thank you. I am Jasper Whitlock. You will call me Major like everyone else. Understood?"
The rest of the stories with Jasper involving Maria were similar; Jasper was continually indifferent to the newborns and never associated much with Charlotte, but she could always tell, same as Peter, that there was something more to Jasper; something special beyond the gift he was bestowed with upon his awakening.
Charlotte was gearing up to tell her about when Peter and Charlotte came back to convince Jasper to leave with them, when Peter's loud voice rang through the air.
"Seriously Jasper? A water feature? You want a fucking water feature now? Are you out of your damn mind?" Peter lifted a rock, throwing it at his oldest friend forcefully, aiming at the head.
Charlotte's shoulder gently nudged Bella, a gentle laugh in her voice. "Uh….I think Peter may have reached his landscaping limit. Apparently he thinks that Jasper is now okay."
Jasper moved his head to the left, neatly dodging the boulder, his face frowning slightly. "What the hell is wrong with a water feature?"
"What's wrong with a water feature?" Peter mimicked in a high pitched voice. "It's a fucking water feature. That's what wrong with it."
Jasper suddenly turned in Bella's direction looking for support. "Bella, don't you think a waterfall would look nice here?"
"I think that it would look great."
Charlotte chimed in, winking at Bella before looking straight at Peter. "It really would look fantastic, babe."
Peter groaned, lifting his arms above his head in defeat. "Women! Fine, we will build your damn water feature, Jasper. Let's get to freaking Home Depot or whatever and get this over with."
Jasper clasped his shoulder, moving at almost human speed to the truck. "You will love it once it's complete, Peter."
Peter spouted a string of obscenities while he and Jasper climbed into Peter's Ford F-350, speeding down the driveway. Charlotte continued to tell her a few other stories about Jasper, but Bella was hardly listening, instead her mind was wandering for what seemed like the ten thousandth time that day.
"Earth to Bella."
Bella shook herself out of her thoughts. "Sorry."
"It's okay. It happens…Bella?"
"Yeah Charlotte?"
"Sugar, are you happy?" Charlotte shook her head. "I mean, obviously you are not super happy, but I guess I am asking if you are content here?"
Bella paused. "I'm getting there Charlotte. I guess if I had to be anyplace during this situation, I am glad it's here. Jasper is around people who love him."
Charlotte put her arm around Bella's shoulder. "We care about you too, you know. I know I have only known you a month and a half, but its been real nice having another female around. Like I consider Jasper my brother, you are becoming my sister."
"Thanks Charlotte. I feel the same."
She smiled. "Good. Now, as your sister, I need to ask. You and Jasper… well, you seem different since your hunt. What's going on?"
"Different?"
"Well, it's nothing specifically…. You both have always been very comforting to each other since we got here but lately, I see it happening more. A comforting hug here, holding of his hand there. You know."
Bella wasn't ready to even admit to herself, never mind Charlotte, that she was beginning to find Jasper attractive. "I just feel bad for poor Jasper."
Charlotte repositioned herself so she was facing Bella directly. "Poor Jasper?"
Bella finally shut the book she had been holding open for hours before looking back at her friend. "It's not easy going through what we've been through. I know he misses Alice like crazy, just like I miss Edward. In some ways, it seems to be getting better, but in others, I am just as miserable as the first day this all occurred and it's the same for him. It just sucks. Losing your mate sucks."
Charlotte looked at her sympathetically. "I'm sure it does." Charlotte looked like she wanted to say something further.
"What is it, Charlotte? Don't hold back."
"Well... if I tell you something, you can't mention it to Jasper. Peter doesn't even know."
Bella was intrigued. "What is it?"
Charlotte still hedged. "Never mind."
"Come on, you can tell me. Sisters, remember?"
Charlotte blurted out the next line so quickly that she almost did not understand it. "I have always kind of thought that Alice was not Jasper's true mate."
Even with her new vampire graces, Bella almost fell off the porch swing. "What? I mean, why? Don't you like Alice?"
Charlotte looked almost ashamed. "I do! I like Alice, really, I do. It's almost impossible not to like her. But it's just something about the two of them that is well… off. I don't know how to describe it. Ahh!" she groaned, frustrated. "I should have never even mentioned it. Peter would flip if he found out I felt this way."
"It's okay Charlotte." Bella wanted to comfort her friend who was now verging on embarrassment for bringing this up. "Tell me, what's off about the two of them?"
"Well… It's always been my belief that vampire mates tend to understand one another in a way no one else understands them, you know? Alice and Jasper are just… well, you couldn't get too more different people. Alice is always so perky and outgoing. Jasper is the most introspective vampire I have ever met. Alice loves shopping, Jasper barely tolerates it. They are like oil and water."
"Sure, while they may be different, he compliments her. Alice is hyperactive, but Jasper calms her. When she gets emotional about her visions, he soothes her."
"But don't you see?"
"See what?"
"What does Alice give Jasper in return?"
Bella looked at her oddly. It was the most obvious answer in the world. "Love."
Charlotte gave a large sigh and spoke quietly. "I know she loves him and I know he loves her. But I don't think that it is the love of a true mate."
"So, what do you think makes someone a true mate if not love?"
"Love is important, of course. But mates… well, take Peter and I, for example. Peter and I are extensions of one another. One does not exist without the other. It doesn't work. Carlisle and Esme? Both good, good people, down deep in their souls. Could you ever imagine them not together? Even Rosalie and Emmett, even though while on the outside, Rosie may be cold and Emmett goofy, they both have a passion for one another that runs so deep that you just know they are soul mates. They aren't going off to have all that sex for no reason, sugar."
Bella would have laughed at the last comment except for one thing was bothering her. "You didn't mention Edward and I."
The quietness from Charlotte was all the response she needed. "Oh, my gosh. You think Edward and I don't belong together either. You don't think he is my true mate."
"Sugar, I was not trying to imply that at all."
Bella shook her head, frustrated. "No, you were not trying to imply, you just basically spelled it out for me. How could you think that? I mean, you had never met me before this all happened. What are you basing this off of anyways?"
"Bella-"
Before Charlotte could continue, the truck pulled up the driveway. Bella glanced quickly at the petite blonde one more time. "Charlotte, I would really appreciate it if you would just leave me alone."
Bella then turned to sprint into the woods, noticing Jasper jumping out of the vehicle before it even had an opportunity to come to a full stop. "Bella!" she heard him yell, but she kept going. In the distance, she heard Jasper say, "Charlotte, what the hell did you say to her? I could feel her anguish suddenly appear down the road!"
She ran. She wasn't sure where it was that she was running to, but she needed to think. When she finally stopped, she did not recognize where she was. All she knew was that she was surrounded by very large trees, and the house was somewhere in a southeast direction. Reaching for the first tree she saw, Bella lifted it out of the ground, hurling it as far as she could, all in a pathetic attempt to make herself feel better. It didn't work.
She was amazed that by one conversation, all of Bella's inadequacies about her relationship with Edward would come bubbling back up to the surface. Her fears came back to haunt her time and time again. She had imagined when she was finally one of them, finally a vampire, those fears would go away. What a fool she had been to believe that. She never had felt good enough for him, what if she wasn't?
Worse yet, what if Charlotte was right? What if Edward wasn't her mate? Where did that leave her? She guessed it left her right where she was. Alone.
She felt his presence before she heard him. No, not alone, she thought sadly. If Charlotte was right about her and Edward than that would mean that she was right about Jasper and Alice.
He wrapped his arms around her from behind and she closed her eyes, her body relaxing. He rubbed her arms slowly with his hands, and Bella couldn't help but lean in, enjoying the feel of her back against his chest. Jasper's voice was low in her right ear. "Darlin', whatever it is you are thinking, you need to stop it."
"I don't know if I can."
Bella's worries suddenly disappeared and she realized she had never set her shield up. She could feel him smile behind her. "Better?"
"Yes. Thank you."
He turned her around to face him, his hands resting squarely on her shoulders. "Now what did Charlotte do? She clammed up in front me and would not say a word except for she did not mean for what she said to come out the way it did. There was some heavy remorse coming from her though and I have known Charlotte long enough to know when she feels awful about something. Peter is chewing her out pretty badly at the moment."
While the image of Peter yelling at Charlotte was moderately gratifying, she did not like the idea Charlotte was upset. But Bella couldn't tell Jasper what Charlotte said. They were Charlotte's own private beliefs, and no matter how much it hurt her, her feelings were never meant to reach Jasper's ears. She couldn't hurt him, not the way Charlotte inadvertently hurt her.
"It's nothing, Jasper."
"It didn't feel like nothing."
"Really, it was. She just had a poor choice of words and it upset me."
Jasper looked at her with knowing eyes that told her he knew there was more to the story. "Alright. But if you ever want to talk, just know that I will be here, ready to listen."
A/N: I struggled with this chapter and I am still not one hundred percent happy with it. But since I did not want to drag out my update another two weeks, I posted it since I was fairly happy with it. I would really love to know what y'all think regarding Charlotte's admission. :)