A/N: Hmmm... interesting reaction to last chapter as I knew there would be. I think I need to put Bella in the witness protection program to protect her from all of you! LOL. Sorry about the delay
everyone! Just found out I'm preggo with number two and my main activities as of late have been sleeping and trying not to throw up. :)
Chapter 19
Bella took one glance at the phone, noting the caller id. "Hi Char."
The flatness of her voice was not lost on her and she knew that Char would pick up on it immediately. Bella cursed herself for not letting the phone go straight to voicemail. She had barely spoken to Charlotte in the past few weeks, even with their reconciliation of sorts. Charlotte, like Jasper, could read her too well, and Bella was not sure if that was something she wanted to deal with at the moment.
"Hi... Sugar." Charlotte's voice was cautious. "How are you?"
That question as of late was difficult to answer. An hour and a half ago she was fantastic, happier than she had ever been. Now, thanks to Bella, she was miserable, guilt-ridden. She sighed. Bella knew she could only get away with the truth. "I've been better Charlotte."
The pause on the other line was obvious. "What's wrong?"
Resting her head against the nearby tree provided little in the way of comfort. "Nothing." she sighed. "Everything."
"Is this about the wolves? Did it not go well? Was Jasper hurt? Were you hurt?"
The recent activities of Jasper and Bella did not leave them much time to fill thier friends in on what happened back in Forks. "No, we are fine. No one was hurt. I couldn't go through with it. All the pack knows is that I was in the area and I spoke to Jacob for a few moments. That was all."
"That's good, Bella. Not that it would have really mattered to me, mind you, but it would have been on your conscious for a long time. So sugar, if you changed your minds about the wolves, and they are safe, then what has you so bothered? I am halfway across the world and I can practically feel your tension from here."
Bella opened her mouth but no words came out. Jasper. Jasper kissing her. Jasper whispering words of adoration to her. Jasper, in a matter of only a few hours, making her feel as if she was the most special person in the entire world.
"Bella?" Charlotte asked, concerned when she did not respond right away.
Her feet shifted and she looked to the sky. "You were right, Charlotte. About everything."
She was admitting her affair, if it could even be called that, out loud to another person. Her friends voice was somehow even softer and more caring than she had ever heard and Bella was eternally grateful for that. "Jasper? Oh Sug. You and Jasper? When?"
Bella wished in that moment that Char was here with her. She imagined her pulling Bella into her side, comforting her, offering her a warming smile. "Earlier today. Charlotte, the moment we kissed..." She trailed off, practically able to feel Jasper's lips on her, her stomach performing flips again just at the idea.
"You knew. You knew that your life was never going to be the same. Am I right?"
"Yes." Bella felt ashamed. Charlotte could tell what Jasper and her were to become, and Peter could as well for that matter. Bella had been so angry for Charlotte for so long, barely speaking to her these past few months, never wanting to admit that perhaps she was right. Perhaps Edward was not her mate after all.
If Charlotte felt any smugness as being correct, she did not let it show. "It was the same for Peter and I." Charlotte's voice took on a far off quality. "The pull was there, but he wasn't supposed to interact with the newborns unless he was ordered to so we never really saw one another. But when we did see each other, it was a glance her or there, I knew there was something different about him, something I needed to get to know better. And then when we kissed, it was as if the worlds aligned and everything was how it should be. And it has been that way ever since. So, you know that you are in love with him. Something is holding you back from your happiness."
"He marked me and yet, all I feel is guilt."
"A mate isn't a choice, Bella. It was going to happen sooner or later. You realize that right? You both would have given in to your feelings. I told you before and I will tell you again, sweetie, you and Jasper, it was obvious it was meant to be from the first time I saw you both in the same room together."
"I know. But it doesn't change the fact that I am married. Jasper is married. He has been married for sixty years to Alice. I've loved Edward since I have met him. I still love Edward, Char. That did not just disappear when our lips touched. And Jasper, even though he is certainly taking this better than I am, feels guilt as well because he still loves Alice. I can tell even if he won't admit it.
But despite my love for Edward, all I want is to be happy with Jasper. I want to be able to be with him and not feel as if I am cheating, or wonder if Edward and Alice would think bad of me. I want to love Jasper unconditionally, with all my heart, all my soul. And that is why I feel guilty. Because I can't. I can't love him the way I want to. Not as long as this is unresolved."
Charlotte listened in silence, taking it all in. Both were quiet for a long time, letting the gravity of what Bella admitted rest between them, allowing Charlotte to absorb it all. "Did you ever think that perhaps this is all for the best?"
Bella almost dropped the phone. "Excuse me? But explain how my entire family losing their memories and not acting like who they really are is for the best?"
"Think about it. You and Jasper have found one another, finally. You have found the mate that is going to make you happy for the rest of your existence. The one that completes you, understands you, will by your side forever. Edward and Alice, they have the same thing right now. They are happy with each other, Bella. They love each other. If you let this go, move on, then no one gets hurt and you can go on knowing that they are happy. You can live with us as your family."
Bella had thought about that very thing only about a million times since this morning. She imagined Jasper and her living on and off with Charlotte and Peter throughout the years. They would be content and it would be a nice life. But in the back of her mind, every day, every hour, she would wonder, what if? What if she could have found a way to restore their memories? It came down to that they deserved to have their actual memories restored to them.
"I can't. It would never work, Charlotte. They deserve to have their real memories, their real persona's restored to them. They may be living a happy life, but it is not their real life."
"Bella, consider it."
"Believe me when I say I have. Neither of us will ever be truly happy until this is resolved."
"Are you sure this is what you want Bella? Really think about it."
Bella did not need to think about it anymore. "I'm positive."
Charlotte sighed. "Well, that brings me to the reason I am calling then. Bella, I have heard of a vampire that might have the ability to change memories."
Bella tensed and her voice choked. "You have? In Norway?"
She could feel Charlotte's hesitation. "That's the thing. I'm not exactly in Norway. I only told Peter that. Luckily, I've always had a good poker face. The truth is, that everything was bringing us back to Italy, Bella. So, I took a flight to Norway, and then hopped the next flight to Voltura."
She paused, but Bella did not interrupt knowing that Charlotte had more to say. "I have an associate here who has sometimes proved useful in the past. Peter would have never agreed to my taking a flight here by myself and Peter was being too damn stubborn insisting that we keep looking into Carlisle's associates."
Bella began moving in the woods back towards the house. "What do you know of the vampire?"
"That she is known to have the ability to change a human or vampires memories just simply by being in their presence. She is a relatively young vampire; which is why most in the vampire community do not know of her."
"Is she associated with them?" Bella knew the answer before she asked it.
"Yes sugar."
"The Volturi did this." It made sense. The money, the ability to erase records, but the question was still why? That was the question that was still unanswered. The question that she wanted to know. She was almost afraid of the next one. "Can it be undone?"
So much hung on that one answer.
"I don't know."
Bella faltered, nearly falling to the ground. What if it couldn't be reversed? "Charlotte, what do we do?"
"You come to Italy. We figure it out from there." Her words made it sound so simple.
"It's dangerous poking around, Charlotte. Peter is going to be livid."
"The damage is already done, sugar. But I know how to play that man like a fiddle so he will forgive me. As for the poking around, I'll be fine and will try not to ruffle too many feathers. Speak to Jasper, give me a call and I will meet you at the airport whenever it is you arrive I'll have Peter meet us."
Bella clicked her phone shut and sprinted home as quickly as possible. She sensed Jasper on the edge of the property and slowed down a few feet from where he was. Jasper's eyes met hers as she drew herself up to him.
She focused on the strand of hair that seemed to always fall in his face. She tentatively reached up and pushed it away from his eyes. She lowered her shield and as much as she needed to share what Charlotte had told her, this was more important to her in this moment. "I don't regret this, you know. I don't regret us, what we feel. I was wrong to say what I did. What we shared was beautiful and I ruined it. I'm sorry."
Jasper lips turned up slightly , but his eyes were serious. "Thank you. But Bella, if we are going to make this work, you can't keep running away from me, shutting me out. I love you." He caressed her arms and stared at her intently. "But I need you to not have doubts about us. Do you want this? Do you want us?"
Bella thought of flying to Italy, the potential of restoring Edward and Alice's memories. The chance of getting Edward back was possible now. The chance of Jasper having Alice back was possible now. Would Jasper choose Alice over her? Bella wasn't sure if she could handle that. She tried to focus on the love she felt for the man in front of her knowing her would feel it all. "Before I answer that, I need to tell you something. I spoke to Charlotte."
A/N: I know! I know! It was short. But please blame the pregnancy. I didn't want you guys to think I forgot about you, but I have been so exhausted, so some of what I was going to put here is going to go in the next chapter. :) Anyways, I hope you forgive Bella a little.