A/N:

Okay, I know I'm a terrible, terrible person for letting you wait this long for this chapter. I got distracted by another tv show and then I started working so I just couldn't find time to write. But then I have this holiday break and so I figured I should just wrap this up before anyone sends someone to hunt me down.

I was gonna make this a lot longer than this but work is giving me no time at all to write so I had to end this with this chapter. It might not be that satisfactory because it's very rushed so I'm really sorry. But it's the longest one yet and I know quantity doesn't trump quality but still. Haha. Also, apologies for the errors.

Thank you for all the follows and favourites and most especially the reviews. Consider this my Christmas gift to everyone, haha. Happy Holidays! I hope you have the most amazing time. =)

DISCLAIMER:

Characters not mine.

-o-o-o-

5

Piper had been in her desk for a few minutes but she still couldn't calm the hammering of her heart against her chest. She heard Alex call out to her while she was walking but she refused to look back at her, afraid that if she did, she would either take everything back, or walk back to her and kiss her senseless.

Either way, she didn't want to do any of those options.

Still feeling the rush of what she'd just done, she tried to will herself to finally start work. But before she could even do so, Alex was standing beside her, obviously with a purpose.

"Why did you tell me those things?"

Piper looked around, making sure they weren't catching anyone's attention. The last thing she needed right now was the hate of her workmates for disturbing them at work. "I don't know."

"Yes, you do."

"Al... Alex, we're at work, I can't do this right now."

"Then let's go."

"What?"

"Somewhere private. And talk."

"It's office hours—"

"And yet you didn't have a problem ambushing me downstairs to give me your little speech. Piper, let's go."

Realizing that Alex wasn't letting this go as easily as Piper hoped she would, she stood up and followed Alex to the comfort room. As soon as they got it, Alex locked the door and looked at Piper, with an intense but confused gaze that made Piper immensely nervous.

"So?"

"I told you, I don't kn—"

"Piper. For once... and I swear this is the last time I'm gonna ask you to do this... please, just be straight with me? Just... please?"

Looking at Alex, eyes filled with vulnerability Piper so rarely saw in her, Piper felt herself finally give in. "Because!"

She started pacing back and forth, all the while being followed by Alex's trail of sight.

"Because I got scared that I've lost you for not saying anything. And I realized... that if there's one thing I'm certain of at this point in my life..." Finally she stopped moving, and reluctantly looked Alex in the eyes, "...it's that I don't wanna lose you." But Alex's gaze was too much for Piper to handle so she looked away, unable to hold her stare any longer. "And before you say anything, I know that you're not mine to lose. But... I don't know."

"Look at me..."

Alex's tone made it seem more like a command than a request and Piper couldn't help but do as she was told. And she was met with Alex's intense stare that was so hypnotizing Piper didn't wanna look anywhere else. Even though there was something else that was there, something Piper saw as confusion and... anger.

"You don't lead people on, Piper. You don't make them think that you like them and then just walk away. You don't do that." Alex's tone was sharp and it almost made Piper flinch. But she could still see the vulnerability in Alex's eyes that Piper rarely ever saw.

"Alex, that's not—that wasn't my intention. I wasn't trying to lead you on," there was an urgency in Piper's voice and she wasn't sure if Alex saw it but what came out of her mouth next was the last thing Piper thought she would hear today.

And boy, how it hurt.

"I'm dating someone."

"What?"

"I've known her even before you came to me for... for that favour. It was just sex, it was nothing. She was nothing. That's not my thing, commitment, dating, I don't do that." Alex paused and Piper took that opportunity to swallow down the hurt that was still hammering against her chest.

"But then I met you and you turned everything around. And then you rejected me and I got hurt. My ego got hurt. And so I went back to her and told her that this time, I'd try to be better, to be the person she wants me to be. I know we started for all the wrong reasons, me and her, and I came to her for all the wrong reasons. But I'm willing to try, and so is she."

This time, Piper couldn't really ignore the pain anymore. Because it was too late. She was too late.

"And I can't... I can't just leave her all because you've come to the realization that you can't... what, you can't lose me? I'm sorry, Piper. That's so brave, you're brave, really. I haven't changed any thought about that. But it's not... that's not- I'm sorry."

And with one last look at Piper, Alex turned her back on her and started walking away.

Then suddenly the memory of that night, the night when she just let Alex walk away from her without saying anything came flashing right in front of her face. She remembered how looking at Alex's back that night hurt. And it was gave her the energy to speak and say something this time.

"No!"

Thankfully, Alex stopped and looked back at her once again, her forehead burrowed. "I'm sorry?"

"You can't—I can't just let you walk away from me again."

"Piper, didn't you hear what I just told you? I'm with someone now."

"Tell me that you feel for her even just half of what you feel for me... tell me, and then I'll let this go."

For a moment, Alex looked surprised, like she wasn't expecting Piper to put up a fight. To be honest, Piper would've thought that, too, had this happened weeks ago.

"That's... that's not the point."

"No. The point is, I've already had this amazing woman and I blew it. I've had this person who was willing to do for me so many things that no one has even tried to think about doing for me. You've done things for me—" Piper paused, and shook her head as she felt her eyes sting.

"I've had you and I drove you away all because I cared more for what other people would think of me than how I felt and how you felt. The point is I've had my chance with you and now, there's a huge chance that I've lost it."

Just that thought broke Piper's heart just a little bit more and if she wasn't so keen on fighting for Alex this time, she would've walked away and just let her heart break until she couldn't feel anymore.

"But Alex, you taught me how to be brave. I know I'm doing this much, much later than I should have and I'm sorry that it took me a while to realize what I want to do, what I need to do. But I'm here now, Al. And I wanna fight for you this time." Piper swallowed the lump that formed in her throat, threatening to choke her as she talked.

"So if there's even just one percent chance that I haven't completely lost you yet, then I'm not just gonna give up that easily. Not again. So no, you can't just walk away this quickly. I'm not gonna let you." She breathed deeply, afraid to ask the question she was suddenly so scared of the answer to.

"So... do I still have it? Do I still have that one percent chance?"

It felt like hours until Alex spoke and every second that the brunette chose not to say anything, Piper felt her slip away from her grasp just a whole lot more. But she refused to break eye contact. She refused to give in to whatever fear she was feeling because whatever it was that was gonna happen, no matter how it ended, Alex was worth all of that.

"Damn it, Piper. You know that you have a whole lot more than a fucking percent chance," Alex said, looking exasperated but with the barest hint of smile on her lips.

And truthfully, it was all Piper needed. So she breathed a sigh of relief, unable to help the genuine smile that formed on her mouth, too. "Thank you."

Alex finally let out a brief smile before looking serious again. "But it still doesn't change the fact that I'm with someone else now." That, too, erased the smile on Piper's face. "Piper, if I just... if I just turn my back on her, then that would make me the same person you used to hate. And I don't wanna be that person anymore."

"Then I would ask you again," Piper slowly approached Alex, fighting the urge to run up to her and just hold her, "...do you feel for her even just half of what you feel for me?"

To Piper's surprise, Alex started meeting her steps, until there was barely an inch of space between them. And then she raised her arm to tuck a few strands of Piper's hair beneath her ear, leaving her hand to cup the blonde's face gently. "No," she then whispered, so softly that Piper barely heard it.

But she didn't need to hear it, she could see it in her eyes, could feel everything that Alex felt by that simple touch, and that intense gaze, Piper could feel.

"Then wouldn't it be worse staying with her when you feel that way?" This time, Piper placed her forehead against Alex's, her eyes closed, their noses grazing each other, their lips almost touching.

"Yeah..." Alex then moved her head slightly, her lips softly pressing against the side of Piper's mouth. Her other free hand had by now settled on Piper's hip, with Piper's hand over it, as if afraid that Alex would suddenly let go.

"Then Alex..." Piper whispered just as softly, dying to feel Alex completely, "please... I can't let you go again. So please... pick me."

But just when Piper thought that Alex was gonna say that she did pick her, the taller woman let go of her and took a step back. Piper felt her shoulder sag because of course, Alex wouldn't do that. Why would she?

"Is that a no?" Alex then shook her head and Piper didn't know what it meant.

"Why didn't you say all this before? When things were a lot less complicated?"

"Because I was scared of what other people might think."

"And you're not scared now?"

"I still am, Alex. See, when you told me I was brave, you were wrong. I'm a fucking coward, okay? Or I was, I don't know. I can't do anything without thinking about what other people might think of me. I can't go on any day without wondering whether there's anyone who's judging me for a decision I made or if—" Piper paused coz she noticed that she was becoming overly emotional. "I am so scared Alex because I really, really like you and I—"

But then Alex's lips were on hers, swallowing anything she was about to say, her fears, and her worries, leaving her with only relief for finally, finally, feeling Alex again. Alex did pick her. Their mouths moved against each other as if they hadn't spent the last few weeks trying to get rid of the memories of the last time they kissed.

And then sooner than Piper would've liked, the kiss ended but only for Alex to still hold her, her touch so gentle and smooth. She kissed her on her temple and when Piper couldn't bear the small space between them any longer, she wrapped her arms around Alex as tightly as she could, burying her head against her collarbone.

"I really, really like you, too, okay? And of course I pick you. I just gave you that freaking melodramatic speech about leading people on and I'd be a hypocrite if I did it to someone else. So today, right after work, I'm gonna go straight to her and tell her the truth. And then I'm gonna go to you and maybe, finally, we can start properly this time. Or continue, I don't know, whatever." She lifted Piper's chin up so they could look at each other's eyes. "Okay?"

"Okay."

Alex again smiled and Piper thought she'd never seen her look more beautiful. She then brought their lips together again before enveloping Piper's body with her arms, her lips pressed against the side of Piper's head.

And so they stayed like that until they both realized they had to go back to work before people would notice they were missing. So they did.

And as Piper started working again, Piper realized that it was the lightest she's felt in a really long time. That this was how it felt like to be brave. That this was what it felt like to finally be who she really was.

-o-o-o-

Without admitting it to herself, Piper's was freaking out. Right after work, Alex sent her a text about meeting that girl, whoever she was, to finally do what they decided earlier. And that she was gonna meet her immediately after.

She knew she should trust Alex to do what she told her she'd do. But what she didn't trust was her luck. What if something else came up that could stop Alex from doing what she needed to do? What if this didn't work out the way Piper hoped it would. What if she and Alex really weren't meant to be—

But before her brain could lead her to even darker thoughts, she heard a soft knock against her door and she almost ran to it, if only her legs weren't so wobbly from her nerves... and the alcohol she'd been consuming for over an hour now.

She then opened the door to the unsurprisingly gorgeous Alex, who was sporting a confident smirk, her arm raised with three plastic roses in her hand.

"Those for me?" Piper asked sheepishly, her cheeks blushing at the gesture she knew Alex wasn't really used to doing.

"Yep."

"Plastic roses? Really?"

"Plastic roses don't die," Alex defended herself, shrugging.

"Yeah, because they're not real."

"You want me to take them back?"

"No," Piper immediately snatched the flowers, causing Alex to chuckle and it was the most beautiful sound Piper heard. "You came," she then said, aware of how she sounded.

Alex cocked her head to the side, raising an eyebrow at Piper. "You didn't think I would come?"

Piper, who finally had the thought to let Alex in, immediately shook her head as she looked at Alex. "No! No, I knew you would. I just... I don't know, I didn't wanna get my hopes up..."

Feeling her cheeks burn realizing she sounded so clingy, Piper looked at her feet as if they were the most interesting things in the world. But then she felt Alex's fingers lift her chin up and she was met with an amused face and a huge grin.

"Have you been drinking?"

"Maybe."

Alex's smile then widened even more. "You should've waited for me."

Not wanting to sound so needy, but also not being able to help herself, Piper blurted out the question that's been bugging her for a while now. "Did you do it?"

Alex nodded before she answered. "I did. It went better than I thought. Turns out, I'm not the one she needs either."

Piper's smile was so wide her cheeks started to hurt. "So we're good?"

"We really are."

And finally, Alex brought their lips together, and Piper felt herself sigh at how much she needed this. The things Alex made her feel were out of this world and she couldn't wait until they could do so much more.

But right now, this was enough. Alex in her arms was enough. Just knowing Alex was here, with her, was enough.

"You still scared?" Alex asked, and her voice was so gentle and Piper knew that whatever she felt for Alex was gonna be something that could destroy her if she handled it the wrong way. And so she silently made a vow to herself that this was something she would work on really hard, because it was something that had the potential of being so much more.

But it was too early to let Alex know that. So for now, she was going to keep it to herself.

"Kind of."

"You don't have to be scared, Pipes," Piper heard Alex whisper, her voice so beautifully raspy. "I mean, I don't know what I'm doing, too, and there's a huge chance I might do something you'd hate or something that would fuck this up..." Alex then paused and all Piper could hear was the soft beating of her heart. Slowly, Alex disentangled herself from Piper but only so she could look Piper in the eyes, "Okay, so you probably should be scared," Alex shrugged adorably and Piper couldn't help the smile that formed on her lips. "But I am, too. So maybe we can just be scared... together?"

"You're willing to take that risk? That one day I might wake up and tell myself, 'Okay, I really can't do this' and just bail on you?"

"We take risks every time we do something, Pipes. Otherwise the reward isn't just worth it. And besides, you'd be waking up next to me, I would have already done something that would distract you before you could even tell yourself that."

"Like?"

Alex then held Piper's face gently, kissing her on her jaw, "Like this..." Her lips then travelled further down, and Piper craned her neck lightly giving Alex an access to kiss her there, "...and this." She then bit her lightly, not to leave a mark, but enough to send shivers down Piper's spine, at the same time her hands rested on the blonde's ass, giving it a not-so-subtle squeeze, "and that."

Piper's senses were so heightened now and she had to do everything she could not to just rip her and Alex's clothes right there and then. Instead, she closed her eyes feeling every bit of everything Alex was giving her. "Yes, that would be very... distracting."

Pulling away with a smile on her face, Alex tucked Piper's hair behind her ear. "So? Do you wanna do this? Are you willing to take a chance on us, fuck everyone else and their opinions?"

"Yes, yes I think I am." Then realizing she wasn't that satisfied with her answer, she shook her head lightly and look Alex in the eye, wanting to let her know that she was in this, for real this time. "I know I am."

Not willing to take the risk of Alex thinking she still had doubts, Piper pressed her lips against Alex's, giving everything to that kiss, letting Alex know what she felt through that kiss.

And as Alex kissed her back, she knew she understood her.

Piper couldn't help but smile into the kiss, feeling grateful and so, so happy that she and Alex had this second chance. And she knew with everything that she had that this time, she was gonna do everything she could to make Alex stay, every minute of every day if needed be.

-o-o-o-

Alex had been spending almost two hours trying to decorate the damn Christmas tree and she knew that she was trying hard. She had hated doing this since she was a kid because she really couldn't give a single fuck but Piper insisted that this was her job for the upcoming holiday. So even though it was against her own will, she did what she's been told thinking that it's not really decorating the tree that was the job, but making Piper happy.

And besides, making Piper happy didn't even feel like a job. It was what it was and Alex loved doing it. Seeing Piper happy was all that really mattered anyway.

But seeing as she wasn't making any progress (Piper had specifically instructed her to make the tree look pleasing to the eye so she couldn't just put whatever wherever), with the tree still looking like garbage, she threw the Christmas ball she was holding out of frustration.

And also nerves for what she was planning to do tonight.

"Jesus Christ, I thought Christmas was supposed to make people happy," Nicky, who had gotten inside Alex and Piper's house without asking for any permission again, said incredulously, seeing the disgruntled look on her best friend. "The fuck is wrong with you? Did you and Chapman have a fight?"

"No. But this fucking tree is giving me a headache. Can I just burn it and tell Piper you accidentally put it on fire?"

"Sure, you can. But we both know Piper won't believe you knowing that I am a very careful person who hasn't put anyone in danger yet, ever."

Alex chuckled and shook her head at the memory of Nicky trying to cook her girlfriend breakfast and ended up burning down almost half her kitchen, which ended up in her and everyone else to make Nicky swear she'd never touch any part of her kitchen ever again.

"Why are you doing this by the way? Wasn't Piper the one who decorated your tree last year?"

"Exactly the reason why it's my turn this year. According to her, I never do anything. Which of course is bullshit because I always do the cooking which she seems to forget every time."

"That's because instead of her eating the food, she eats you instead."

"Ha! I should tell her that."

"Oh come on, stop being such a grumpy asshole. Gimme that," Nicky extended her arm to Alex as she stood beside the tree, studying it.

Alex looked at Nicky like she couldn't believe what just happened, and reluctantly handed her the decors she was holding. "Uh, what are you planning to do? I was kidding about setting the tree on fire, you do know that, right?"

"Fuck off, do you want my help or not?"

Alex was still looking at Nicky sceptically but left with no choice, she just let her do whatever it was that she was planning to do. She stood up and gathered two bottles of beer before handing one to Nicky and plopping down on the couch.

"So, you really decided not to give each other gifts this year?"

"Yep."

"Why?"

"I'm giving her my presence as her gift every day, what more does she want?"

"Asshole," Nicky chuckled causing Alex to laugh with her.

"Where is she anyway?" asked Nicky again, as she started hanging the decors on the tree, with Alex watching with curiosity.

"Still at work. Which is just good timing that she has to work today, gave me time to do the things I had to do."

"So, you're really doing it, huh?"

Instead of answering, Alex just gave Nicky a smile. And as her best friend worked on the tree while Alex watched, Alex couldn't help but think back to the past two years of her life. Even after all that happened, there was still a part of her that couldn't believe just how far she and Piper had gotten.

After Piper had finally made peace with who she was, leaving her past behind and went on to create a new future with Alex, it was just pure bliss from that point on. Alex had said she loved Piper almost just a month into their relationship, getting an easy "I love you, too," from the blonde in return, with an extra three hours in bed worshipping each other's bodies as if it was the first time they were doing so.

About eight more months later, Alex had asked Piper to move in with her, even though they were basically living together, just without the formality. And now, here they were, more than two years into their relationship, more in-love with each other, and much, much more secure about that feeling.

And Alex had never been happier.

It was almost two hours later when Nicky finished their tree, just in time for her to leave before Piper would arrive and realize Alex made Nicky do all the work. She didn't need Piper mad at her right now. As a matter of fact, she needed to be in her best behaviour if she wanted the night to turn out the way she wanted it to be.

"Hey, you did our tree!" Piper said happily as she saw the tree, giving Alex a chaste kiss before inspecting the tree that Alex, well, didn't actually do.

Alex just shrugged, feeling the nerves that was settling on her stomach. "Have you eaten?"

"Yes, I'm sorry. I know I promised we'd eat together but the guys at the office wouldn't let me go 'til I ate with them," Piper looked so guilty that Alex couldn't help but kiss away the small pout on her lips.

"It's fine, Pipes. Why don't you go change so you can come sit with me while I eat after?"

"Okay, I'll be quick," Piper once again kissed Alex before walking towards their bed and it was then that Alex knew she was gonna throw up.

She counted inside her head, waiting for Piper's reaction. And then she heard it, the faint, "Alex?" coming from Piper from inside their bed. And so as slowly as she could, she followed her girlfriend inside, hoping to all gods out there that she wouldn't fuck this up.

"So..."

Piper spun around at hearing Alex's voice. "Wh-what's this?"

The light wasn't on but the whole place was lit up with Christmas lights and some candles all over the room. Plastered all over the wall on one side of their bedroom were pictures of them together, all taken from Piper's brother's wedding up until their 2nd anniversary. There were a lot of pictures but Alex felt like they weren't enough. She needed more memories with Piper, needed more time to be with her.

"I know you think that I hate doing grand gestures, that I'm more into plastic roses than a bouquet of flowers, more into staying in with pizza and beer than going out into fancy restaurants. And yet, you've never once made me feel that you hate that about me. You've never made me feel like you hate any disgusting or annoying thing that I do and I love that so much about you.

I love so many things about you that I can't even put it into words. You're so much better at that than I am. But I hope you know that despite that, despite not being able to be that good at telling you or sometimes showing you how I feel, I hope you know that I love you, so, so much."

If it wasn't semi-dark, Alex would've seen the tears that were now forming on Piper's eyes. But she was too focused on the intensity of her love for the woman in front of her that she couldn't notice anything else than how much she loved her and how much she wanted to spend every waking second with her.

"So... this isn't even close to a grand gesture, but I tried," she shrugged and it made Piper smile even brighter. "I put up all these photos, I'm pretty sure there's still so much more I haven't been able to put there but I just wanted to show you where we started and how far we've come," Alex was nervous, she could feel the hammering of her heart against her chest, but she couldn't stop now, not when she was so close to asking that question that's been bugging her for the longest time.

"But you see, the other three walls don't have anything... because I want more with you, Pipes. I want more photos at the beach, or at any restaurant, or anywhere else really, as long as you're there. I want more photos of you just looking so beautiful no matter what you're doing... I want more. And I really hope that you'd give me a chance to be more with you."

Bringing Alex's hand to her back pocket, she then brought out the jewelry box that's been burning her ass cheek since she put it there. Slowly, she walked towards Piper as she opened it to reveal a beautiful engagement ring, the diamond at the center not that big but Alex knew would look really good on Piper's wedding ring finger.

"You once asked me if you had one percent chance that you still haven't lost me... so now, it's my turn to ask if I also have that one percent chance that... that I'd have you for the rest of my life as my wife?"

For a moment, Piper couldn't talk. She had her hand to her mouth, as if stifling the sobs that were obviously threatening to come out of her as tears suddenly sprung out of her eyes.

But then she looked at Alex, and in her eyes were nothing but adoration and love, and Alex felt her smile widen at the unspoken answer.

Piper kissed her hard before nodding her head vigorously, "Yes, yes you have it, Alex. I'd be your wife. I wanna be your wife. I wanna be more with you, too. Yes!" Piper exclaimed happily as she once again kissed Alex, this time a lot harder and longer, both their arms wrapped around each other.

Piper then let Alex put the finger on her ring and she's never felt happier than she was at that moment. She didn't know it was possible to feel this much bliss but ever since she's met Alex, she's made so many impossible things turn the other way around more than she could count.

And as they both looked at the finger that was sporting the symbol of their promise to stay together for the rest of their lives, they knew that this was gonna be their best Christmas yet.

And ironically, despite their no-gift pact this year, they had actually gotten the best gifts of their lives right now.

Each other.

-o-o-o-

A/N:

This might be the last time I'd be posting on this site for a while. I'd really miss interacting with all of you. But thanks again for all the love 3

*signing off*