When Spencer and Hotch returned to the table, Garcia immediately stood and rounded the table to envelope him in a tight hug, catching the youngest profiler by surprise.

"I'm sorry, Reid," she whispered, sounding on the verge of tears; it made Spencer feel horrible for having snapped at them like he did.

"No, I'm sorry, Garcia," he whispered back, wrapping his arms around her as tightly as he could. "It was my fault. You were just expressing your concern for my well-being and my emotions are still out of balance and I wasn't thinking clearly. I shouldn't have snapped at you."

When she gave him a firm squeeze, he knew she'd forgiven him. They pulled away and she returned to her seat while Spencer dropped down to kneel beside his seat to dig through his bag.

"You okay, pretty boy?" Derek murmured.

Spencer nodded as he shoved a hand through the pockets and pouches in the bag. "Yes. I just want to call Fran."

"Michaela's fine," Derek said. "You know she's just going to sleep the whole time."

"Still," Spencer countered in a weak argument.

Derek sighed and gently grasped Spencer's arm, tugging him up. "We just got here. You don't need to check on her now."

"Derek," Spencer warned in a low tone that wouldn't catch an audience but would warn his boyfriend to back off.

"No," Derek said firmly, just as low. "I'm not backing off on this. You need to try to be you for a little bit and don't worry about the baby."

"Part of who I am is Michaela's mother," Spencer growled. "And I can't not worry about her."

"And I'm her father," Derek countered, still grasping Spencer's arm to keep him from dropping down to dig in his bag again. "And I'm telling you she'll be fine. You're just worried because your meds haven't calmed you down yet. Just try to enjoy dinner and if, in fifteen minutes, you're still worried, we'll call Mama, okay?"

Spencer breathed heavily through his nose to keep himself from saying something in anger he'd regret, glaring at his boyfriend. The hand he felt on his arm felt like a heated weight and he was all too aware that, if he tried shrugging Derek off to get his phone, the older man would just haul him back upright. And how dare Derek presume to understand how Spencer felt and act like he knew more about his medications than Spencer?!

"Fine," he growled, jerking his arm away from Derek's hold and settling in his seat. He'd just wait out the fifteen minutes then go call Fran anyway. He heard Derek sigh beside him.

"Spence?"

Spencer turned the glare he'd been aiming at the table to JJ but softened his expression when he saw the concern in her gaze.

"Are you okay?"

He sighed and nodded. "Yeah, I'm sorry. It's one of the things that my medications are supposed to help with: my irrational fear of being away from Michaela. I know Fran is capable of taking care of her but anytime I'm away from her, I feel like I have to go check on her."

"Is that why Morgan won't let you go call her?" JJ asked.

Spencer nodded. "He's right to though," he reluctantly admitted. "I need to let the meds do their thing and try to relax."

JJ nodded in understanding then bit her lip in a gesture Spencer recognized as one she did when she was thinking about something. Then she turned to address the whole table, cutting off a conversation Hotch and Rossi were having.

"Guys?" she said then smiled when everyone turned to her. "I have something I want to say." Everyone remained quiet and watched her, waiting for her to continue. "I've, um… I've been dating Detective LaMontagne since that case we had in New Orleans last year."

"We know," Prentiss said with a grin.

"You do?" JJ asked, clearly confused.

"You're not as subtle as you both think you are," Hotch added with a small smile.

JJ huffed a breath that could be a mix of slight frustration that they hadn't kept their secret well and relief that they were so okay with it. "Well, there's more to it than that. I'm pregnant."

The team broke into murmurs of "Congratulations" and smiles. Spencer felt himself grinning widely at the news and leaned over to hug JJ tightly.

"Is this why you've been asking me so many questions about when I was pregnant and Michaela's birth?" he asked her in a low tone so only she could hear.

She nodded as they pull back, still grasping his arms in a friendly hold. "I've been curious."

He nodded in understanding and gently pulled his arms from her grasp only to take her hands in his. "You're always welcome to ask me anything, JJ," he assured. "I'll answer anything I can. And you can come see Michaela whenever you'd like. It might help. Like practice."

JJ giggled and nodded in acceptance of the offer. "Thanks, Spence."

~oOoOo~

As the days passed and Spencer continued to take his medications regularly (and all three were pleased to see neither his meds or the caffeine were affecting Michaela), he felt himself settling back into the man he used to be. He felt it become easier to leave Michaela alone while she slept, his mind put at ease simply by the sounds coming from the baby monitor. That, he still kept with him at all times while she was asleep but he was pleased that he didn't feel the need to go physically check that she was breathing and alright.

In addition to being (mostly) okay with her being away from him, Spencer stopped feeling so irrationally afraid of things. One evening, Derek and Fran had been preparing dinner and Michaela wasn't sleepy yet. So Spencer held her and forced himself to stay in the kitchen despite how he'd been afraid before of the knives and other objects causing her harm. Much to his relief, nothing happened to her. The adults chatted and Michaela lay quietly in Spencer's arms. By the time dinner was ready, she was asleep again and Spencer felt calmer about being with her in the kitchen.

While things at home became easier, Spencer still didn't like being away from her. He suspected that worry didn't come from his anxiety as much as from just being a parent. But he knew with time and practice, he'd be able to go out and not worry as much.

As days progressed into a week then two and Spencer's mind settled and cleared, he and Derek sat down and had a real discussion about what to do about their jobs. Finally able to think clearly, Spencer realized he didn't want to leave the BAU. Derek agreed and assured Spencer that nothing was going to happen to them or Michaela. He added that they could talk to his mother who still maintained that she'd move to Virginia to look after Michaela while they were away.

So they did. They calmly shared their decision with Fran and assured her that they'd thought this through rationally this time. She calmly assured them they she knew they had and was completely in agreement with their plan. They both would take the full three months of family leave. Fran would return home to pack her belongings ("Mama, I can come help you, you know." "Nonsense. Spencer isn't ready for you to leave him alone for several days and I have your sisters and their husbands. We'll get me all packed in no time!") and return in a couple of weeks. She'd stay in their guest room for now while she found somewhere nearby. Spencer was secretly grateful for that; he liked having her nearby when he couldn't figure out how to do something with Michaela. But having Fran's help still made Spencer miss his mother.

He'd mailed the letter he'd written the afternoon he'd snapped at Derek and a few more between then and now. In the first, he'd told his mother that she had a granddaughter and that they'd come see her when Michaela was old enough to. Then, in the following letters, he shared with her his fears about losing himself and then, when they'd realized what was happening, his fears of being reliant on medications. As he'd continued to take them and realized they were helping him and nothing bad was happening, he shared that with his mother, too. He told her he was doing okay and reiterated that they would come see her in a few weeks since Michaela was nearly old enough to fly but that they were in the middle of moving Derek's mother and couldn't leave her yet.

A few days after making their plan, Fran went back home, leaving Spencer and Derek alone with Michaela for the first time since her birth – not counting the first night after Garcia left and before Fran arrived the next afternoon. Spencer worried for a little bit at first but as one day came and went and the next and the next passed, he felt himself easing into a routine with Michaela and he stopped worrying about nearly everything. He felt like a real parent now and was constantly overwhelmed with how much he loved his daughter, enjoying the time he spent with her.

He even spent an afternoon alone with her while Derek went grocery shopping. They could have taken her with them but Spencer felt ready to be totally alone with the baby and assured Derek that he could handle it. When Derek returned an hour and a half later with their groceries, it was to the sight of Spencer and Michaela lying on the floor, Michaela on her stomach on her baby blanket from Garcia, facing Spencer who lay on his side with his head pillowed on one arm while the other rubbed her back. Clooney had settled on Michaela's other side, snoring softly. The baby had her eyes focused on Spencer and every now and then, she'd lift her head off the blanket. It wasn't very far and she could only do it for a few seconds but it made Spencer smile every time.

"Hey, pretty boy, what are you two doing?" he asked, setting the groceries on the floor by the door for now.

"I believe most mothers call this Tummy Time," Spencer mumbled. Derek wondered how long they'd been lying there because Spencer seemed sleepy. "It gives babies a chance to explore. When she's old enough, she'll start pushing herself onto her hands and knees to crawl. For now, she's strengthening her neck muscles by lifting her head as much as she can and holding it there. She does it when I tap the floor with my hand because the sound catches her attention," he said, tapping hand extended away from him. The noise in the otherwise quiet room made Michaela lift her head curiously but didn't look away from Spencer's face. After a few seconds, she laid it back down and blew out a breath.

"She can't look up that way though," Derek pointed out unnecessarily.

"No, but she knows I'm doing it," Spencer said with a soft smile. "I can tell by the look she gives me and the little huffs every time I do it."

Chuckling, Derek knelt behind Spencer and reached over to caress the back of his daughter's head. "Is Mommy teasing you?" he cooed.

Spencer snorted though he smiled, loving the way Derek interacted with their daughter. "Hardly."

As Derek moved into her line of sight, Michaela lifted her head and watched him, cooing softly. When he settled behind Spencer, she dropped her head and watched them.

"How long have you been lying here?" Derek asked after a minute of silence. Spencer had stopped tapping at the floor and Derek thought he may have fallen asleep.

"Mm, an hour I think," Spencer said. His hand on Michaela's back had stilled and both he and the baby looked close to falling asleep.

"Why don't you two go lie down," Derek suggested. "I'll put away the groceries and take Clooney for a walk."

Spencer hummed softly in what Derek was going to assume was agreement because he knew the two of them really did need a nap. He carefully moved himself over Spencer to gather Michaela into his arms. Tucking her to his chest in one arm, he used his other hand to gently shake his boyfriend's shoulder.

"Come on, pretty boy," he murmured.

Spencer mumbled unintelligibly and curled his arm up to his chest now that his hand wasn't resting on Michaela's back. He made no move to get up.

Chuckling, Derek decided to leave him. If he was asleep when Derek had Michalea tucked in, he'd just carry Spencer to bed. He stood and took the baby to their room, tucking her in in the bassinet. As she stared up at him while he did, her eyes drooped and she blew out a heavy sigh before letting them fall completely closed.

Satisfied one was asleep, Derek returned to the living room to gather the other sleepy member of the house. Just as he'd expected, Spencer was completely asleep on the floor, breathing gentle and even. Being careful not to wake him, Derek gently slipped his arms under his boyfriend and lifted him effortlessly into his arms. Spencer buried his face into Derek's neck in his sleep and sighed happily.

Derek carried him to their room and gently tucked him in. watching as Spencer shifted in his sleep to bury his face into Derek's pillow. As he settled, Derek brushed his fingers through Spencer's hair a few times, just watching him sleep. His Spencer was back again. The realization washed over him and he leaned down to press a kiss to Spencer's temple. The younger man mumbled in his sleep which made Derek grin.

"I love you," he whispered before standing and slipping from the room.

As he put away the groceries and gathered Clooney for his walk, Derek let his mind wander. Now that Spencer was more like himself, he felt like it was time to set in motion making Spencer a Morgan like their daughter.

~oOoOo~

One week after Fran went back home bled into two then three and before they knew it, she was returning with her things. Her furniture and a lot of her little decorative items went into a storage unit for now but they moved in her clothes and a few little trinkets for her room. Spencer had cleared the guest bed of the sheets and blankets and told Fran she was welcome to use her own sets, saying she was family and could do as she pleased.

Once she was settled into the house, she gave them the go ahead to take their trip to Nevada. She told them she'd be fine while they were gone and would spend the time looking for her own place nearby and taking care of the house and Clooney for them.

So, nearly two months after her birth, Michaela got to take her first flight. It actually went a lot more smoothly than Spencer was expecting. In the week leading up to their trip, he'd done as much research about taking babies on planes and what to take and how to keep them occupied and keep other passengers from hating them if she started crying. He even ventured onto blogs and forums created for mothers to discuss these things and found a few anecdotes and tips that were helpful. By the time the morning of their flight arrived, he wasn't as nervous as he thought he'd be. He knew the plane was safe – he and Derek flew enough for their job for him not to have any fears of flying or taking Michaela on a plane for safetey reasons. All his anxieties came from wondering if she was ready for this and how they'd manage an infant on a plane.

But it went a lot better than he thought it would and as they landed, he'd blown out a breath of relief. Michaela had slept as they'd boarded. They'd tucked her against the window in special carrier they purchased specifically for the plane. While the one that could be attached to the base in Derek's car was nice, the carrier wasn't approved for the plane so they'd had to purchase a carrier that could fit in the seats better. Spencer had reasoned that they'd likely take Michaela with them any time they visited his mother so the purchase wasn't a bad idea anyway.

As they'd taken off, she'd woken and had started crying. Remember what he'd read about pressure changing being painful on a baby's ears – and, truthfully, it wasn't any less uncomfortable as an adult – and how nursing or sucking on something could help, Spencer had quickly dug out one of her pacifiers to let her suck on. It was too early for her to eat again and he didn't want to take the chance that the flight would make her nauseous and he didn't want to have to clean up baby vomit – though he had packed an extra change of clothes for himself and Michaela in their carry-on bags just in case some kind of a mess was made and a change of clothes was necessary.

With a pacifier to suck on and Spencer murmuring soothing nonsense to her while rubbing his hand back and forth across her tummy, Michaela had fallen asleep again, her nap having been interrupted by takeoff. He'd glanced around once she was asleep again but no one seemed to have been paying any attention to them. Thankfully, she hadn't cried for long before Spencer had given her the pacifier and she'd settled down shortly after that. With a sigh of relief, he'd settled against Derek, his hand still resting on their daughter's carrier, and had fallen asleep as well, head resting against Derek's shoulder.

She'd woken a couple of hours into the flight and had started fussing which had woken Spencer. This time, Derek had offered to take care of her so Spencer removed her from her carrier and passed her to Derek. As they shifted her between them, it became quite clear what she was fussy about and Derek chuckled as he excused himself to take her to the bathroom. He returned a minute later with a frown. This plane's bathroom wasn't big enough to contain a baby changing table.

As he'd explained this to Spencer, a flight attendant had been passing by and overheard. She'd kindly offered to allow Derek to use the space the flight attendants sat during takeoff and landing. It was empty while they were working so he was free to lay the baby out there and do it.

As he'd returned with a freshly changed Michaela, he was making faces at her, getting her to smile and make a slight humming noise Spencer suspected was a laugh. Derek settled down with her and they kept her occupied this way, entertaining her with faces and getting her to smile and make that almost laugh. When she grew bored of this little game, Spencer settled her back into her carrier and found one of the toys he'd purchased specifically for the flight.

At two months old, Michaela hadn't had any toys yet – when all she did was sleep most of the day and didn't possess the eye-motor coordination required to enjoy any kind of toys, they hadn't purchased any. But for the flight, Spencer found a few things suitable for a two-month old infant. He'd found an activity spiral that wound around the bar of a crib or, in this case, her carrier. Her eyes immediately found the brightly colored toys and she lifted her hand to try to grasp at some of the parts. Watching her, Spencer couldn't help grinning, feeling his heart flutter with love for this little curious person.

This kept her attention longer than Spencer thought it would. Then she started fussing and looking toward him. She curled her hands into fists and placed them near her mouth. When Spencer picked her up to try to calm her, she started rooting against Spencer's chest. His anxiety spiked again: she was hungry and he had no idea how to feed her on a plane. Did he just tuck her against his chest here? They'd have her blanket to cover her and his chest. Or did they go to the bathroom? But who knew how long she'd take to eat and he didn't want to annoy other passengers. Maybe he could ask the flight attendant to use their space. It might be quieter for her, too. He needed to decide quickly though, before she began to cry enough to anger others near them.

Thankfully, that same flight attendant had been passing by. She'd noticed Michaela's actions and smiled fondly at Spencer.

"Looks like someone's hungry," she said. When Spencer gave her a confused frown, she added, "My sister has a baby. I recognized the gesture as one my nephew does when he's hungry. You can use the same space you used to change her if you'd like." And with that, she'd continued on.

Derek showed him where the flight attendant had taken him to change her then returned to their seats while Spencer fed Michaela. When they returned, Michaela looked on the verge of another nap but not quite sleeping. Spencer tucked her into her carrier and tucked her blanket around her. He slipped a pacifier into her mouth which she sucked on right away then tucked a soft lamb toy that played soft music beside her. The warmth and soft lullaby and soother put her to sleep for landing and deboarding.

As they stepped into the terminal, Spencer carrying Michaela and Derek carrying their carry-on bags, Spencer sighed in relief, grinning at his boyfriend. Michaela had made it through her first flight without much trouble. No one had given them sour looks or complained about the noise. Michaela had cried during takeoff but had been so asleep that she didn't stir when they landed which Spencer was grateful for; he hated seeing her cry because her ears hurt and was glad she slept through the descent.

They stopped at a hotel they'd be staying in for the few days they would be in Nevada to check in and freshen up then left for the hospital. Michaela remained asleep during the drive but Spencer still worried. He smoothed his hands down his torso, making sure the carrier wrap wasn't visible and that he hadn't leaked through it, then fiddled with the cuffs of his shirt.

"Relax, pretty boy," Derek soothed, reaching over to gently grasp Spencer's wrist where he was fiddling with the buttons on his shirt cuff.

"What if she doesn't know who I am today?" Spencer asked in a too-fast speed, quickly continuing before Spencer could say anything. "What if she does and she gets angry that we didn't tell her sooner? Or what if she decides she doesn't like Michaela? What if I leak in front of her?"

"Spencer," Derek snapped with just enough force to get his boyfriend's attention, softening his tone as he continued. "You told her about Michaela in a letter, right? You explained to her that Michaela was a surprise. In her response, did she say anything that would make you think she was angry she didn't know sooner?"

Spencer shook his head. "No. She said she was excited and couldn't wait to meet her."

"Okay, then I don't think she's going to be angry. I think she'll be happy and she'll love Michaela. And you won't leak through your shirt. That's what the wrap is for and you haven't had any trouble with your clothing since Mama gave it to you, right?" Again, Spencer nodded and Derek continued. "So don't worry. Besides, she's your mother; you were a baby at one point, too. I'm sure she'll understand."

Spencer nodded, taking a deep, calming breath, and letting his hands drop into his lap. "You're right. I always worry that she won't recognize me when I visit and sometimes, she doesn't. But we still enjoy time we spend together. It hurts when she doesn't know me but she still likes talking with me."

Derek nodded in understanding. "If she doesn't know who you are today, she'll still love you and she'll love Michaela. And we're staying for a few days so we can always come back tomorrow and maybe she'll know who you are."

Spencer nodded and took another deep breath. "Right."

"Good. Because we're here," Derek said as he pulled into the parking lot.

They found a space then got out and collected Michaela. Spencer made sure her blanket covered the carrier so the sun wasn't shining in her eyes while Derek pulled out her diaper bag. They stepped inside and Spencer confidently stepped up to the desk where a nurse sat.

"Dr. Reid!" she greeted with a grin when she saw him. "And Agent Morgan."

Derek nodded his greeting with a soft smile.

"Who's this?" the nurse asked, nodding to the carrier.

"This is, um, Michaela," Spencer said, glancing down at the carrier in his hand. He lifted it enough to peel back the blanket to reveal the sleeping infant. "Our daughter."

The nurse cooed and grinned up at him. "First time meeting Grandma?" she asked. When Spencer nodded, she stood and rounded the desk. "Diana is out in the garden. I can take you to her."

Spencer nodded and covered Michaela again then followed the nurse. "How is my mom? Is she…?"

The nurse gave him a soft smile, knowing what he was worried about. "I don't know how she is today. I haven't talked to her today."

Spencer nodded in understanding and followed her into the garden, Derek behind him. They stopped several paces away from a bench under a tree in which Diana sat with a book while the nurse continued over to her, gently gaining her attention.

"Diana," she said. "You have a visitor."

Diana Reid looked up from her book to the nurse then her eyes flicked to Spencer and Derek standing behind her.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Did I just make a cliffhanger?! I don't think I've ever written a cliffhanger before. But that felt like a good place to stop, so… Sorry? ^^;