The tower was seemingly empty compared to the liveliness of the night before. Bellamy made her steps quiet and watched around her as she headed towards the kitchen; she had never cleaned up the mess she made.

She had already let her guard down as she rounded the corner, so the sight of Tony standing by the counter next to one of his robots made her stop in her tracks. He was looking at her expectantly.

"Good morning, culprit." He greeted her, sipping a cup of coffee. "I'm guessing this was your doing?" She blinked at him.

"You're up early," she stopped herself. "...you haven't gone to sleep yet, have you?"

"It's questionable whether or not you've had any either." She narrowed her eyes at him, the way he was looking her up and down. "Okay, did you really leave and have a one-night stand with someone because I've got a running bet going with Clint and he swears he saw you grinding with some guy with a handlebar mustache."

"What—no? No!" She snapped, crossing her arms. "And is it really necessary to have a robot clean this up when you could've done it yourself in two seconds?"

"Well, I don't know, couldn't you have done it yourself if that were the case? Instead you bolted. You never even told Sam happy birthday." Her heart dropped and she had to shut her mouth because no words were coming out. Tony seemed to stare right through her.

"Did he say that?" She asked quietly as she sat down at the bar.

"Heard him talking about you to Steve, they got back a few hours ago. Looking for Barnes, no luck. No surprise. Steve felt guilty, he thought you left because of him. Did you?" She blinked, looking away.

"Well, I think he had the wrong idea about me. Apparently, everyone else does too." She shot him a dirty look. "I didn't come here to be bet on."

"Why did you come here?" They stared at each other. "You wanted a purpose again, right? That's it? After everything came to light, you were left in the dark. And Steve made you feel like you were being helpful. But you're not. Because you don't think he's going to find his war buddy—and he's not, you and I both know that much. So now you're stuck. Right?"

Tony was intelligent, but sometimes Bellamy forgot just how clever he was. Until now, when he had somehow slapped her with the current truth of her life while halfway drunk. For a long moment, all she could do was stare at him.

"I had to leave. I went for a walk and stayed at mine." It wasn't entirely a lie but it didn't matter, it was no task to lie Tony.

"You're grieving." It was almost as if he were giving her a diagnosis. "I can see it. You have been for a long time." He walked closer towards her, leaning against the counter with his arms crossed. "Who did you lose. Mom?" Her head snapped up. "The flowers? The condolences. You just lost someone and you're trying not to process it. But you have to let yourself feel it. I didn't for a long time. I know what it's like, losing a parent." His gaze wasn't concentrated on her and it allowed her to inspect his face.

"It was a friend. She was more like a grandmother." She finally replied. Tony nodded.

"Here's the thing, I know you don't agree with me and the way I do things. You don't have to listen to what I say, but, I'm gonna say it anyways because I can. If you really want to change and let go of all that grief, you have to confront it. Let it go. Feel it, and let it go and move on." She stared up at him, shaking her head slowly with a knowing look.

"How come you haven't?" He stared back with the same expression.

"Everything is easier said than done." And that was the first, and perhaps only ever moment she ever had, connecting with Tony Stark. It disappeared as sudden as it came with his next words. "So, no hanky-panky, right?" She rolled her eyes and turned to leave.

"No."

"Hey, Jarvis? Wake up Clint and tell him he owes me a Benjamin." Bellamy glared.

"He bet $100 I left with a guy with a handlebar mustache?"

"And velvet suspenders. Don't worry I never doubted you." She scoffed and stood to go to her room, hearing Clint cursing from his room on her way.

She couldn't sleep when she got there, though. Despite the fatigue within her and her heavy eyelids, she stared upwards at the ceiling, her mind automatically flickering back to Bucky. Her hand moved to pull the letter he had written her for her birthday out to reread again, but a knock on her door stopped her motions.

"Come in," she called as she sat up, rubbing her eyes. Steve opened her door and stood staring at her from the door frame, without a word. Something about his silence and the silence of her room only made the sound of her swallowing amplify into a gulp.

"We need to talk." He finally said curtly. "Meet me on the roof in five." And he walked away abruptly. Bellamy stared at the wall in front of her with foreboding nerves.

On the roof, the air between them was thick with tension, even in the open air. Tension that was not even close to being thick, but it was almost a foreign sensation to her now—it had been so long, she realized. So long in fact that now, she was resisting the urge to squirm in front of Steve who stared straight at her, eyes pinning her in place.

"How come you left?"

"I believe I have that freedom to do as I please." She managed to reply dryly and wondered how the hell she made her career out of being stone-like and under an illusion of assuredness. It was like being forced into a button-up too tight around the neck now.

"You weren't entirely in the best condition." She stopped herself before she could roll her eyes completely. Steve didn't show if he noticed. Instead, his expression turned sympathetic for a moment as he finally looked to his lap. "When I realized you had left, I thought I had hurt your feelings and made you leave. I felt terrible. But Tony told me you were trying to sneak in—"

"Sneak in?" She cut him off. "What am I, sixteen? Am I just a source of amusement, someone new for you all to bet on, someone to whisper about? Maybe that's why I left, Steve, I feel as though I've overstayed my welcome." She snapped.

Right away, she realized it wasn't perhaps the best thing to say. Steve's forehead furrowed deeply as he looked at her in concern, the wheels in his head turning as though he were trying to figure out the source of the conflict. His intensity softened, but only enough to turn into concern.

"Do you feel unappreciated here? Are we making you uncomfortable?" She sighed.

"No, Steve, that isn't…it's not that." He looked at her closely.

"Bellamy, just tell me how we can help you more." Her chuckle came out short, her eyes avoiding him, before she merely shrugged.

"You can't." He frowned at her.

"You won't let us." He corrected her. She chuckled again, unable to give a response. "Look, I don't think I'm overstepping by boundaries by saying I'm tired of the lies, Bellamy." Her stomach dropped and her eyes snapped to his. The longer Steve stared, the dryer her throat got. She didn't dare move her hands, despite the sudden clamminess they held. "Like how you really think I have snowball's chance at finding Bucky."

"…Sometimes you can't tell the truth." She began weakly, not even sure where to start. Her heart was pounding so hard she was almost sure he could hear it; it was all she could hear in her ears. Blood pounding. She waited for his anger, for his questions. Her head was unable to prepare any answers.

"Well, I'm asking for it now." His words were stark. She nodded once finally, and almost looked away when he turned his stern eyes to her. "So? Are you gonna tell me what's got you so upset, or am I going to have to drag it out of you?" She blinked at him, watching him stare down at the streets below.

"What? That's what this is about?" She asked, watching him turn towards her. "Are you really that concerned about me?" He raised an eyebrow at her.

"Do you really think I don't care about my friends?" Bellamy only stared. Of course he did, Bucky had spent so much time telling him of the things Steve did for him, how good of a friend he was. But it was strange thinking she had somehow stumbled her way into this circle known as Captain America's friend.

All the while she was betraying him. Her head felt jumbled.

"It's…really nothing." She mumbled, crossing her arms. Steve laughed.

"So we're going back to this?" She only looked at him, stubbornly silent. "I'm not going to force you to tell me anything, I would just hope you would because you trust me. And, I can see something is eating at you." She bit her lip.

"I can only tell you what I'm able." She admitted after a moment, unable to look him in the eye. He seemed to accept her words without a problem at all. If only he knew. "No. I don't think you'll find him. I know you won't. As for me, I'm…not really sure what the hell I'm doing anymore. Here. I feel like I keep losing. I'm not happy. I'm fine, but I'm not happy, I don't know what makes me happy and more importantly, I'm not useful, and I don't know how to be useful. And that's killing me, Steve."

Steve nodded slowly, still inspecting cars down below. "I've been there before. I know you've heard it before, and I know it feels like you're going in circles. But one day…you'll look back and see you started going down a path and it isn't a loop anymore. You're going somewhere."

"But I'm not Captain America."

"No. You're Bellamy Burke and you need to stop selling yourself so goddamn short." She looked up in surprise to see Steve give her a small smile. "Even Captain America has his days. You know, I used to go to my own exhibit at the Smithsonian, just trying to remind myself I had a purpose. Sometimes, all we need is a nudge. Whether it's from someone else or the universe itself." His eyes appeared distant now. "How's your schedule look the next few days?" Bellamy raised an eyebrow.

"Why?"

"There's someone I want to take you to meet."

Steve never bothered telling her that this friend was about four hours away, all the way back at Washington, D.C.

"She's a good friend. Now that I'm staying at the tower, well, it's hard to see her. I haven't been in some time." He stopped, staring up at the retirement home they had parked at. "Maybe that was for the better." Bellamy frowned at him, not understanding, but not saying anything as she followed in close behind him.

The lady at the front desk recognized him right away, and smiled cheerfully, asking if he was there to see "her." She allowed both of them to go on their own to a room Steve knew the exact way to. He knocked and paused, looking at Bellamy.

"Just bear with me, okay?" Still not entirely understanding, she merely nodded again, and followed him inside.

"Peggy? It's me, Steve." Steve was using an overtly cautious tone, smiling gently. Bellamy looked in amazement at the women in her bed as she looked up and to them, blinking before smiling back.

"Steve? Oh, Steve. I haven't seen you in so long." The relieved and bright smile on Steve's face appeared almost foreign. She'd never seen him so delighted.

"It's been some time, I'm sorry. I got a little busy." He crossed the room and took her outstretched hand, giving it a gentle kiss before turning back towards Bellamy and gesturing to her. "I brought a friend with me today, I hope you don't mind."

"A friend of yours is a friend of mine, Steve. What's your name, dear?" Peggy sat up a little, turning her warm eyes to Bellamy. She stepped forward, smoothing down her shirt a bit and raising her chin.

"Hello, ma'am. It's an honor, my name is Bellamy Burke." Peggy took her outstretched hand, before she stopped, blinking with something like recognition as she gazed at Bellamy.

"Did you say Burke?" When Bellamy nodded, her eyes widened. "My goodness, you're Scott's daughter. You're…" She smiled fondly now, placing her other hand over Bellamy's and clasping it in between hers. "You're Lizzie's granddaughter." Bellamy smiled down at the woman.

"Yes. She told me a lot about you. You were a great inspiration to me throughout my life." Peggy smiled again, turning her gaze to Steve, who appeared a little surprised as he looked between the two women.

"Steve, will you grab the picture frame on the far left?" He obliged, handing it to Peggy who showed the both of them. It was a little girl, no more than the age of 3, nestled in a younger Peggy's arms. She stood next to another woman, who Bellamy recognized quickly to be her Grandma Lizzie. She gasped in surprise, and Steve turned to Bellamy.

"That's you." He realized, pointing to the little girl, a smile growing on his face.

"Yes, it is." Peggy beamed. "And you have gone on and become quite the woman. I've heard of all of your accomplishments. You've made everyone proud." Bellamy smiled faintly.

"I had a lot of people to look up to." Peggy's smile faded a little and she patted her hand, as though she knew the burdens she was carrying.

"And what is it that you're conquering now?" Peggy asked, seemingly fighting to keep a smile. Bellamy eyed Steve beside her, wondering just how much Peggy knew about the fall of S.H.I.E.L.D. "If you're anything like me, or Steve, or your family, I'm sure you blame yourself about HYDRA. About not stopping it sooner. Contributing." Bellamy turned back to Peggy before she nodding slightly.

"Yes, to all of the above. And, for feeling like…I lost my place in this world." Peggy's eyes softened before she turned to Steve.

"Would you mind getting us some water?" He nodded politely, leaving the women alone for the moment. Peggy eyed her now looking more open.

"I'm going to assume, Steve brought you here for a reason. And it's because he can see what I can see, my dear. You've lost the ability to believe in your own capabilities." Bellamy took a breath.

"Is it that obvious?" Bellamy asked, chuckling a bit. Peggy smiled, gesturing to one of the empty chairs Steve had pulled up to her bedside before he left.

"Only to certain people. Who have been through it before." Bellamy made herself comfortable in the chair.

"Isn't it more of a personal problem? Steve, I'm sure he thought he was helping me by bringing me to you…but wouldn't you agree it's up to me?"

"It is, yes. And I have no doubt you'll figure it out. But, it took me the longest time to realize...on that journey, on the way through those flames that mold us, there will be those we meet willing to endure the heat with us. And your first instinct will be to push them away, because you think you must go it alone." Bellamy blinked, fiddling with the necklace around her neck. "Because that's what it means to be strong. But it's not." She felt herself frowning for a moment, as she stared at the floor.

"If you're talking about Steve…" Bellamy began sheepishly after she had allowed herself a few moments to let Peggy's words sink in. But she couldn't finish the thought. When she looked up, expecting to find Peggy staring at her with intuitive awareness, she only found confusion.

"…Steve who?" Bellamy blinked, frowning a little and unsure of what to even say. Peggy's eyes flitted to the necklace around Bellamy's neck. "My, that is a beautiful necklace. Sapphires are one of my favorites." Bellamy looked down at her necklace that she was twirling absently before she looked back to Peggy, who was frowning in deeper confusion. "Who are you again?" Slowly, she was piecing two and two together.

"I'm Bellamy." She spoke slowly and tried to maintain a polite smile when Peggy only stared at her with emptiness. "Bellamy Burke, Scott Burke's daughter." Peggy's eyes lit up just as Steve walked in again.

"Oh…Steve! You're here—it's been so long." Steve nodded, wearing a smile, but she didn't miss the pained look in his eyes as he crossed the room to accept her extended hand. He shot her a glance, one hoping that she would understand. The rest of the visit went peaceful and light, but that was only if she ignored the strain of the obvious.

Out in the hallway, Steve paused a bit, taking a breath and a moment, a tense frown tugging on his features. He offered her a tired half-smile, to which she only shook her head.

"The world is too cruel." She decided.

"It really is." He murmured and she sighed, her eyes shutting, before she uncrossed her arms and touched his shoulder.

"I'm honored that you took me here with you today. I know it must not be easy…"

"Far from it. Each time, you know, it seems like she's getting better. Like today, she recognized me as soon as we walked in. She was so lucid. But then…" Steve shrugged, sighing. "It feels like I'm torturing myself sometimes, but. It's easy to talk to her, in the right state of mind. I can tell her anything." Bellamy glanced at him; her grandmother had told her of Peggy's relationship with Steve.

"I'm sorry, Steve." He smiled at her and patted her back.

"You remind me of her. I hope, maybe, talking with her helped you clear some things up. She's helped me in that regard many times." Bellamy nodded, fiddling with her necklace again.

"Yes. Thank you for taking me to see her, Steve, I think I know what I have to do now." He raised an eyebrow but said nothing more as they started the long drive back.

It was then that she told him of her plan. He went with her to her room when they got back and helped her pack a bag with her few belongings.

"I think it's a great idea, Bellamy. Maybe it'll be exactly what you need." It was Steve's enthusiastic agreement that helped her decide her decision was right. She smiled back.

"I'm a little nervous. I know, that sounds odd, but I haven't been back in…years." Steve nodded.

"I think you're making the right choice."

Steve walked her out to the curb, where she turned to him with a smile.

"I don't know when I'll be back." He nodded as though he expected that to be her answer.

"Take as long as you need. The rest of us are preparing for a new mission, Tony thinks we're closing in on finding Loki's scepter and Strucker. He's somewhere holed up at an outpost we can't seem to find. But you're always welcome back here, whenever. Be safe, and call me if you need anything." She nodded, and he opened his arm, giving her a hug and a pat on the back.

"What the hell is this? First I don't get wished well for my birthday, and now you decide to up and leave?" Sam was catching his breath as he jogged outside, Natasha and Bruce following behind him and then Tony behind them, eating pistachios.

"I'm sorry, Sam. Forgive me?" She asked, and he rolled his eyes, but pulled her into a hug, telling her wordlessly just how selfless he was. "I'll see you soon, okay?"

"You take care of yourself, girly. Do what you need to do and you'll be back to taking care of business in no time.

"Where are you going?" Bruce asked as he shook her hand, a sad smile on his face.

"Home." She smiled. The rest of the Avengers nodded, not asking for any more explanation. "I think…it's been long overdue."

"I hope this isn't over the bet." Tony said, but behind his jokes, she could see a glint in his eyes, a knowing one.

"Can I have a word?" Natasha asked as she took her hand. Bellamy frowned, but nodded and the other guys walked back inside the tower with a last wave goodbye. Natasha's arms were crossed and she looked at the traffic instead of Bellamy. "Steve told me he took you to see Peggy. Mentioned he hoped it would help you move on, so, I just thought maybe you should know. You're not the only one." Bellamy raised an eyebrow.

"I'm not the only one what?" Natasha smirked.

"Who still thinks about it." She took Bellamy's silence as encouragement to go on. "I know I do. S.H.I.E.L.D. was my saving grace. I desperately wanted to undo my wrongs, and I felt like I was. But…" he shrugged her shoulders delicately. "Then it shattered everything I ever knew. And then again, hearing the fact that Fury's rebuilding it." Bellamy frowned, her gaze snapping quickly to Natasha, who was already watching for her reaction.

"…You left those S.H.I.E.L.D. files at my door?" She asked after a minute. Natasha blinked, resembling a calm cat.

"We were clearing the headquarters out together, if I recall right. I knew you were looking for those files. I knew Fury had them. I don't know if they still mattered…but, like everything else, you had the right to know." Bellamy looked down at their shoes on the pavement.

"Does it really bother you?" Natasha shrugged again.

"Fury is going to do what he thinks is best. And, now, I think I've finally found my place, with the Avengers." Once again, Bellamy felt alone, until Natasha smirked slyly. "Well, for now, anyways. I've been taught from a young age to be flexible. Who would any of us be if we couldn't roll with the punches? So for now, this works. At least for me. So…I hope going back home helps you figure out where is best for you." Bellamy tried to smile, but still found it hard.

"…Hopefully." She concurred, smiling slightly. Natasha nodded as if she understood and turned to leave, and that's when Bellamy spoke up. "Hey—I'm sorry. For the way I used to be. I…always looked down on you. On the agents like you. I always thought of myself as better, but...I'm realizing now I was wrong, and that I'm envious of your ability to just…be. To be flexible, like you said. How do you do it?" Natasha gave her a half-smirk.

"I'm just flexible where I can be. But there are things worth being stubborn over. Things important to you worth setting in stone." Bellamy frowned a little, but accepted the answer with a nod, that she received in return from the woman.

Bellamy cozied herself in the backseat of the cab, preparing herself for the hour-long trip. As she sat, staring out the window watching the concrete turn to greener scenery, she found herself twirling the pendant on her necklace once more—a habit she was quickly getting into. When she realized what she was doing, she patted the back pocket of her pants and pulled out the letter from Bucky, finally able to reread it once more.

The first time around, the neatly folded paper had weighed heavier in her hands, as if confirming he had really left. There had been just enough light shining through the windows that morning to illuminate the handwritten words and give them an enchanting glow that she could still picture.

And when she had lifted the letter closer, she heard a delicate clank of something hitting the wooden floor at her feet. Bellamy had to kneel down closer to the ground to find what had dropped from the letter, and let out a soft gasp as she lifted a delicate silver chain completed with a small blue sphere. It was a necklace, a small charming thing that looked mildly aged.

Bellamy had dangled the gift in the air carefully before she cradled it in her palm, unable to quite believe its presence. She held it with even more caution as she turned her attention back to the letter, hoping for an explanation.

To My Dearest

I spent some time in a small village. The people there live by a code, where they offer safe harbor to anyone passing through. I met a kind woman. She's spent her life handmaking jewelry, beautiful things I'd never seen anywhere. There was one that stood out, a necklace with the brightest blue gemstone, like the ocean. It has silver placed around it, resembling the continents. When I asked her about it, she told me it was a sapphire, also known as the September birthstone. She also told me of a story, of how the ancient Persians believed earth rested on a sapphire, and that's why the sky is so blue. That's what the necklace was: earth.

Everything clicked in that moment. It was really just a revelation of sorts for everything, and it started with remembering your birthday was in September. And I was proud that I remembered it so easily. And then I had the strongest most determined urge to get that necklace for you, through any means necessary, and it made me wonder why. And I've known it all along, I've probably known it for months, since our rooftop conversations. Long before that almost kiss on the Wonder Wheel that I think about every day. It's because I love you, Bellamy.

So I asked the lady what I could do for it. After some time negotiating, she told me her husband was disabled, and they had a lot of broken inconveniences in their house. I worked for them for some time, putting myself to use, just like I did in your apartment, and for John. It felt great to help. She gave me a lot of free meals, a place to sleep, and the necklace after I was done. She asked who it was for, and I told her it was made for you.

I told her about you. A woman so in love with the world she would do everything in her power to protect it. To serve it. A woman who forgave me when I didn't deserve it, and forgave the world for damning her. A woman hellbent on seeing the good in people, in everything, so much so that she was destined never to fail and always to be good, pure and good. She smiled and told me she was honored to have a woman like you wear her jewelry.

I hope you like it. I hope maybe it can help you as you try to figure out your next step in life, it's supposed to bring clarity and wisdom to the wearer and protect the mind. I know I've been realizing a lot lately. Back home, I used to see newspapers and screens all talking about the Winter Soldier, with my face. I didn't understand. They called me a name I didn't know, it isn't recognizable, just like the rest of me. They call me the Winter Soldier and of that I only know the word soldier, it's all I've ever known. And I realize now I do know winter, all of this life I've only known winter, it's a word to my life, a word to a face. My face. But not anymore. And it's because of you. Thanks to you, I believe in me again.

Forever Yours

She smiled as she held the pendant between her fingers, reminding herself it was real.

Soon enough, a familiar house was approaching as the cab winded down a more lonesome road, with aged towering trees and more open spaces. It had been both of her parent's dream; solitude and peace.

After paying and retrieving her bag, she stood staring at a house she couldn't remember, one hand on her necklace. With trailing steps, she approached the door and knocked once. It was a wonder why she felt so nervous; all of those fears and doubts disappeared at the sight of her mother's face at the door.

Her honey-colored eyes were glistening with quick tears, there was a hand over her quivering mouth, and a kitchen towel in the other hand that fell to the ground.

"Hi, mom." Bellamy murmured, feeling her own eyes watering. She was taken into a tight embrace almost immediately.

"Oh, Bella! What are you doing here?"

"Well…I can't think of a better place or company—" as if on cue, she was cut off by barking, and a very bigger-than-she-remembered black lab jumping up at her hip, eagerly trying to say hello. Bellamy laughed, still hugging her mother and now scratching Ellie behind the ear. "—than right here to spend my birthday."

It was a great relief, a small victory, to know she had interpreted the universe's pushing correctly. That she was where she was supposed to be. For now, anyways. And that was alright.