Chapter 53: Plans
I hear Fenris whisper my name quietly in the middle of the night, rousing me from my sleep. I feel his fingertips tracing over the lines of my scar on my palm before moving up my arm.
"What is it?" I ask, turning my face toward his, but I'm silenced with a kiss. His fingers move on to more interesting places, trailing down my chest. I give a moan of contentment, letting him know I'm awake now and enjoying his touch.
"I spent so long not being able to touch you...I need to have you," he mutters.
"Yes," I say, giving permission. I sigh in pleasure as his hands find my breasts. The darkness in the room and not being able to see him only seems to intensify the feelings of his hands stroking my flesh. We make love again in the dark, eager bodies responding to each other. When it's over, we cuddle close to one another, any clothing or sheets long since tossed aside, leaving only skin touching skin.
"You give me urges I didn't know I had," he whispers.
"Hm?" I ask, sleep already stealing up on me.
"I once told you that I'd never pursued anyone before," he says. "I never wanted to. But there's something about you, the way you look at me...you make me feel powerful. I've never really known that feeling outside of battle."
"Did you really just compare sleeping with me to fighting?" I ask, raising an eyebrow, although he can't see it in the darkness of the room.
He strokes my hair, and I imagine he's smiling. "I suppose I did. Truly, I do feel as though I'm at war with myself—I want to be gentle with you, but at times I want just the opposite, I want to conquer you, make you my own. It's an unfamiliar thought."
"But not an unpleasant one," I say with a small chuckle. "I think I might enjoy both." I run my fingers along his side, the curve of his hip. "No memories this time?"
"No," he says, tightening his arms around me.
"Good. It's still early, we should get some more sleep," I comment.
The next time I wake, it's to a knock on the door. But, that's not what it sounds like when someone knocks on my door. I'm disoriented for a moment before I remember that I'm in Fenris's bed, not my own. He's still beside me, sleeping soundly, his expression relaxed and peaceful. The knocking continues. I should probably wake him.
I nudge him gently. "Fenris," I say. He mumbles something and rolls over, facing away from me. Damn it, he's too cute in the mornings. I try again. "Love, there's someone knocking on the door."
He stirs a bit more at this, looking at me with half-lidded eyes. "Norah? What is it?"
I hear footsteps in the room next door and barely get the covers over us in time before the door bursts open.
"Fenris, are you alr-" Hawke demands, cutting off when she sees us. "Oh, I...sorry"
"Good morning Hawke," I say sarcastically, my cheeks aflame. "Would you mind giving us a minute?"
She blushes, and my request takes a moment to register, but she quickly closes the door again after that.
"I'm never going to hear the end of this," Fenris says, groaning.
"Eh, let 'em talk," I say, my tone dismissive. "Good morning, Fenris. Or should I call you Leto now?" I tease.
"Definitely not. That part of my life is over. Fenris will do." He smiles, leaning in to give me a quick kiss, then slides out from under the covers. I take a moment to appreciate the view as he stands up before moving to get out of bed myself. I dress quickly. No sense in a repeat scene with Hawke. I straighten my hair as best I can, but I'm pretty sure it's beyond help after our activities last night.
I finish pulling on my boots, and look back at him. He's dressed and ready as well.
We head back out to lounge, and Hawke is waiting. "I need to talk to Fenris about something," she says, her tone implying that my company is not welcome.
"I'll be on my way then," I say.
"What are your plans for today?" he asks me.
I sigh. "I need to check on Anders. He was acting really strangely yesterday and I didn't get to tell him what I learned from my Orlesian friend," I say, careful not to mention Leliana's name. "I'm going to stop at home first to change, and head to his clinic. I think I'll bring some things over later, if that's still okay."
He nods. "I'll meet you at your place around lunchtime to help you carry your things," he says.
"See you then," I say, leaning over to give him another kiss. He accepts it, but somewhat awkwardly, being in front of Hawke. It's cute. I smile at him before walking toward the door.
"Norah," Hawke says, stopping me. My name sounds strange and unfamiliar coming from her.
"What is it?" I ask.
"If you're going to see Anders, can you tell him to meet me at my home later? I need him for something today," she states.
Fenris gives me a warning look. Fine, I can play nice this once. "Sure thing, Hawke," I say, turning back around.
I make the trip back to Lowtown. I stop at the fruit vendor and pick up a couple of pieces of fruit, one familiar, and another new one. This one is a cluster of berries in a dark blue color. I'm not sure what to make of it yet, but Cat will be interested. I thank the vendor, and pop a few in my mouth as I head to my place. They're tart, but tasty. Cat's familiar shimmer follows next to me.
I turn the key in the lock, and open the door. I shriek as I see someone standing in the dim interior of my home. He grabs me around the waist and claps a hand over my lips.
"It's just me! Will you stop screaming?" Anders says.
I stop struggling and stand still. "Maker, you scared the daylights out of me," I say after he removes his hand from my mouth. After a minute, I add, "Anders, I'm not going to try to you hit you now, you can let go. Well, unless you deserve it, of course."
"Deserve to be hit or deserve to hold you?" he asks, but lets go. That sounded like the old Anders. Best not to respond to that. I remember instead an image of Fenris rolling over in bed with his messy hair, and smile.
"Are we doing the fruit thing today?" he asks, looking at the breakfast I'd bought.
"Anders, what are you doing in my house?" I ask, but offer him some of the tart blue berries I'd purchased earlier anyway.
"I...wanted to check on your injury," he answers. The hesitation is enough to tell me he's lying. "I couldn't very well stand around outside, I'd be spotted, and I still had the key, so I figured I'd wait for you here." He pops some of the berries in his mouth, and makes a sound of approval.
"My hand is fine," I say, flashing my palm to him. I open the window shade and let in a little more light. My place is still dusty. "Sorry, I haven't really been here but a few minutes since we got back. I haven't had a chance to clean the place up yet."
"You spent the night with Fenris, then," he says, looking sad for a moment, before the blank expression is back. I gesture for Cat to give us a few minutes. She disappears.
"Yes," I admit. "Is that why you really came?"
"No. No, it's better this way. At least I know you'll have someone to care for you after..."
"After what, Anders? Why won't you just tell me what's going on?" I ask pleadingly, reaching out to touch his arm. Immediately on contact with my skin, Anders reacts, stiffening and hissing in a breath. His eyes meet mine, but it's fear that I see.
"I'm sorry," I say, moving my hand away.
"No, please, do it again," he says, grabbing my hand and putting it back. "My head was finally clear for a moment."
There he is again, the old Anders. "Cat says you're losing yourself. Is it true?" I ask.
"I don't know. At times I feel like myself, but I have more and more gaps in my memory. I remember you coming into the clinic, and your injury, but I don't remember you leaving. And was I holding you a bit ago? It's all kind of a jumble."
"Anders, the clinic was yesterday," I say, worried.
He nods, frowning. "Your ability - it's helping, with Justice. Can we sit for a while?"
I don't have much more in this house than I do in my safehouse. The only place big enough for two people to sit together is the bed. This is awkward. I sit at one end, and I'm surprised when Anders lays down next to me, putting his head in my lap. I place my hand on his shoulder, but don't make him get up.
"And about the holding thing? How long ago was that?" he asks hesitantly.
"You had your arms around me a few minutes ago, but not in the way you think. You startled me and I screamed. You were trying to keep me quiet."
"Norah, do you remember your promise to me?" he asks, changing the subject.
"Of course I remember," I say. "I also remember you promised not to give up, that we were going to free you and Justice from the binding. I went all the way to Orlais to get rid of the threat of my aunt, and managed to find something that might actually help you. But you didn't even want to hear it."
He pauses, absorbing that. "I didn't hurt you, did I?" he asks, looking up at me.
"Not physically, no," I admit. I turn my face away.
"Oh," is all he says. After a couple of minutes have passed, he speaks again. "I'm sorry to burden you with this," he says.
"I'm still your friend, if you'll let me be," I say with a sad smile. "Will you listen to what I learned now?"
"Please, yes," he says. I stroke his hair.
"The Avvar have a ritual that can allow a willing spirit to leave its host. It will take a journey to them to ask, but there's hope, Anders."
"Hope," he repeats. "What if Justice isn't willing anymore?"
"We can cross that bridge when we come to it, I suppose. Are you feeling alright now?" I ask.
"Better," he says smiling up at me.
"Oh, I'm supposed to tell you that Hawke needs you for something later," I comment, remembering. "But I think it's better if you don't go. You look like you haven't slept in a long time; maybe you should just rest.
"No, I should go. But, can I stay here a little while longer?" he asks.
"Of course."
"And will you sing for me?" he asks.
I frown. This feels too familiar, but the fear I saw in him earlier scared me. I can at least do this for him.
He leans up and allows me to stand before laying back down. I pull a chair over by the bed and hold his hand, to keep the magic going. I hum to him for a while, and it isn't long before he's drifted off to sleep.
What am I going to do about him? At this, rate...will I really have to do it? I whisper for Cat. She shows up a minute later. I look at her questioningly, and she whispers back to me, "Anders is still in there, but it's not good, Norah. I take back what I said when you met him. After you gave up your vengeance, I think you were a good influence on Justice. You're probably what kept Anders stable so long."
I quietly get up and begin to pack up a few of my things. Fenris will be coming in a bit to help. It would be nice to have someone to talk to about Anders, but I know what he'll say. He won't understand my desire to help him.
I'm just finishing when Anders stirs on the bed. I glance over. He seems confused. I'll take non-angry emotions right now. Justice can stay away for a while, for all I care.
"How are you feeling?" I ask.
"Good. I think you were right, I needed to rest."
"Will you tell me now about what you and Justice are doing that has you so worried?" I ask.
"No. Norah, I told you I don't want you involved." I'm losing him again.
I sigh. "Aright, Justice, you win for now. But I'm going to talk to Fenris about that trip to Ferelden to see the Avvar. I'll get you there, Anders, if I have to drag you kicking and screaming."
Anders doesn't get to respond as there's a knock at the door. Fenris, I think, and smile to myself. I remember the one night he walked me home from the bar, and realize he's never been inside my place before.
I open the door, and let him in. "I went by the clinic first, but didn't see anyone there," he says, stepping inside. Immediately upon seeing Anders, his expression goes cold. "What's he doing here?" he asks.
"Leaving. I need to go meet Hawke," he announces, collecting his things. He approaches the door, and looks at me. "Where will the two of you be today?"
"Fenris is helping me move some things into his mansion. So probably Hightown, why?"
"Good, just...be careful," he says.
I narrow my eyes and him and cock my head, but he's already walking out the door. He turns back, and holds out something in his hand. I reach out mine, and he drops the key into it. "It's probably not good for me to have this anymore, considering." With that, he takes off.
"Norah," Fenris starts.
"I know," I say. "Can we stop by the Hanged Man for lunch? There's something I want to talk to you about."
"You're saying it that way again. You want something."
I shrug. We head the couple of blocks to the bar. I've only packed a few of my belongings, and the bar is on the way. Entering the bar, I see that Isabela is in conversation with Corff, and Varric is gone again. Probably with Hawke and Anders, I think.
After settling in at a table, my belongings piled next to us, I decide I need to just ask him. "You were right, I do want something. I'm worried about Anders. My power was helping him for a while today, but he's not well. Leliana told me that the Avvar have a ritual that might help him and Justice separate. We have to get him there. I know it's soon, but would you be willing to undertake another journey with me?"
"With Danarius dead, the only place I belong is at your side. But you ask a lot, Norah."
"So, that's a yes, then?" I ask, grinning.
Whatever he was going to say next is drowned out by the loud sound of an explosion. A red light is cast in through the doorway of the Hanged Man.
Fenris and I run outside, drawing our weapons as we go. Isabela isn't far behind us, and I see Cat's outline next to her. Corff peeks out through the doorway.
Looking up toward Hightown, two twin spires of magical light shine up into the sky from the vicinity of the Chantry. Anders, I think. "Oh Blessed Maker," I say, my mouth agape. This had been his plan?
"Cat, do you know where Hawke is?" I ask. She shakes her head.
"You know something," Fenris accuses. "What is it?"
"I'm not sure, but I think Anders may have had a hand in this. He hinted that something was coming, but he wouldn't tell me what. He's with Hawke; we need to find them."
He grabs my wrist, holding it up, "And what do you intend if you find him?"
"I...I don't know. I promised I would kill him myself it he was too far gone. I need to see him," I say.
"Merrill went with Hawke today, too. I swear, puss, if your ex gets her killed..." mutters Isabela, joining us.
"I talked to Hawke after you left this morning," Fenris says, letting go of me. "I think I know where she was headed."
"Please Fenris. If nothing else, you want to go help her, don't you?"
He sighs. "Alright, but stay next to me. She went to the Gallows. There is bound to be outright war between the mages and templars, and we're going to be walking right through it."
"You're right," I acknowledge. "No time for armor, I guess. Come on, Cat, let's go."
Lowtown is a war zone. Flaming debris falls from the sky, setting fires all over the city. Screams can be heard from a few streets away. We see our first abomination just a block over. It strikes a templar down, his armored form landing in front of us. I use Winter's Grasp to slow the abomination's pace, and Fenris cuts it down quickly. We move on down the street, toward the sound of more screaming. This is worse than the Qunari uprising, I think.
Heading down the street toward the docks, I see Cecily and Verna, the mages from the mine, cornered by two templars. I cast a glyph of warding under myself and take a few steps forward, but stop dead in my tracks when I see Verna's shape grow and change. Her form twists into an abomination. No! I'm the one who made them go back to the Circle. This is my fault.
I use Haste to speed up our actions. I have a little experience fighting templars now; it's given me knowledge on where the weak spots in their armor are. I grab my daggers and run in. With a wide swing of the dagger in my right hand, I ram it up into the space underneath his helmet. I feel the pressure of hitting his skull and wince as I feel it slide in. I give the dagger a firm yank, and it comes out, bringing a few bits of bone and other softer materials with it. The templar falls over, unable to stand, keening in a high-pitched whimper of pain.
The second one turns to face me, but gets hit with a spell from Cecily. I don't know that one, but it's something lightning-based. Nice. Fenris takes advantage of his distraction to reach a glowing hand through his chest, pulling the heart back out with it.
"I love it when you do that," I tell him.
The abomination hasn't waited for me to finish, taking a swipe at me. I swing both daggers across each other in an arc, but it backs away from me, right into Isabela's blades. It rears up, clawing wildly at the new threat. Cecily to the rescue again with an ice spell: this one shoots a ray of ice forward, which catches the creature that had been Verna, freezing her solid.
"I'm sorry, Verna," I say to her, and step back for Fenris to take the final blow.
I kick the first templar's sword away from him. He lives, but he's not much danger now in his condition.
Cecily looks at the three of us. Well, Cat's there, but still in hiding. I don't want to give away her presence if I don't have to.
"You're an apostate!" shouts Cecily in her high-pitched voice. "That makes a lot of sense, now that I think about it. Oh, poor Verna...she made me run with her when it first started."
"You should get out of here; it's not safe," I tell her.
"I think it's safest with you right now," she says, eyeing Fenris, Isabela and I.
"Fine, but if you go all lumpy abomination, I'll never forgive you."
"Are you sure about this?" asks Fenris.
"Better numbers can't hurt, and we haven't seen any of our other friends yet."
That's when Sebastian comes up the stairs from the docks.