Chapter IX. Not human.
I was going to spend the night in the cells and return to headquarters safe and sound next morning. Ha. Talk about unreasonable optimism. Join the tough luck club. I've been sitting in the cells for several hours now, exchanging furious glances with these scumbags. My contribution to their ruffled look is obvious now. Even Shinpachi-san couldn't do better.
To confirm our crime, the cops invite some random women from the street. The witnesses watch me with empty eyes. I'm not human. On the wrong side and no longer an equal citizen, even though 'the crime' is a mere nothing. A pair of bruises, that's it.
Meanwhile the cells have their own hectic life. The cops bring in some shady guys who look like petty criminals or illegal migrants. Somehow they seem saner than my fundie friends.
I have a legitimate right to one phone call. The cops refuse to give me my phone so I borrow one from a random guy, while the guard is busy. The Onis let me hide behind them. Chizuru's business card forgotten in my jeans pocket does me a service now.
"Hey, Chizuru-chan..." I hate to talk to her in front of the assholes, but a police department has no place for privacy.
"Okita-san! Are you alright?!" Well, she must be terrified and I feel slightly guilty. And annoyed for feeling guilty.
"Sure! Better than anyone. It's been worse." In the orphanage. But that information's too personal for now.
"What can I do for you? Hijikata-san tried to get you out, but it's hard…" That's Chizuru for you! Able to collect herself in a moment.
"Do me a favor, tell Hijikata-san to keep all this mess a secret from Kondou-san and Tsune-san, okay?"
"Hmm… I'll try." Hijikata-san must be royally pissed so her doubt is natural.
"Good girl. Also could you please find the Oni 404 manager Oni—ah—Amagiri-san and fill him in?" I repeat the Oni keyboardist's whispered request. Almost slipped up and said 'Onigiri-san'. The keyboardist gratefully nods at me. Freakish show attires have no pockets for phones so the poor Onis are isolated from civilization.
"Sure. Okita-san..." Chizuru hesitates and mumbles softly, so that I can barely hear her. "Keep your head…" At this moment the cop roars at me and our conversation ends dramatically. The phone is confiscated too.
The police captain enters our abode and nails us with a glare. "Gentlemen, proceed with me. Your movements are restricted until a court date is arranged." He drones on, no hint of life in his eyes. Seems to be the type that relies on the regulations too much. "You are transferred to the adult detention center for the period of administrative arrest."
Pathetic guy. He's lower than me and I could have knocked him down in one hit, but even I'm not that mad. Hijikata-san would be proud of my prudence.
So instead of performing on stage and having a dinner in the band's company, I'm escorted to the jail. Things get funnier by the hour. The glances that bastard-sama spares me can kill. He must hate me for dragging him into this shit. I give him a tender smile. Hijikata-san has surely made up a cute nickname for the Onis' vocalist.
The jail is a brutal worn-out building on the edge of the Workmen district. The Slums are close, but unfortunately they are out of reach. Too bad that I didn't bring a jacket. The jail's building has slit-type ventilation which means that the air is stuffy, but cold autumn breezes blow here and there. My my, if only I didn't get sick so easily. The Oni 404 are wearing their show clothes - which is probably worse.
I could easily miss Shinpachi-san's birthday on the fourth of November if the cops keep me here for long.
…
The freaking house feels so empty now. Chizuru felt wasted when she finally reached home. There was Okita's food in the fridge, Okita's notes in the rehearsal basement, Okita's books in her bedroom. Chizuru made an effort to collect herself and go to sleep, but that was a tough task. The house followed its routine with endless horrible cracking, howling and whistling. She heard all kinds of uncertain step sounds and saw all kinds of erratic shadows.
The next morning Chizuru prepared snacks and a number of Okita's warm clothes. It took her an hour to get to the police department. A gloomy cop let her in to join the small queue of citizens willing to pass some goods to the prisoners. Chizuru occupied a spot behind a tall middle-aged man who was talking on his phone.
"He's an excellent lawyer, I'm perfectly sure!" The man was struggling to convince the person on the other end of the call. "Toshi-san, give him a chance at least. I don't understand a damn in this situation, you neither. Souji may catch cold here while we loiter." The last part was added worriedly.
Chizuru held her breath. She looked at the man attentively, his face being strangely familiar.
"I'll text you his number. Yeah, see you." The man hung up the phone and sighed. It seemed that Hijikata-san had told Okita's father about the incident after all.
"Em, excuse me…" Chizuru started. The man turned an astonished gaze to her. "I happened to overhear your conversation. Are you, by any chance waiting to pass something to Okita Souji?" She poured these words out to him in one breath, feeling embarrassed. "I am his… friend."
"Souji's friend! What a coincidence!" The man flashed her a bright smile. "I'm glad he made one," he added guilelessly betraying his worries, if not Okita's reticence. "Kondou Isami." The man offered his hand to her. Chizuru introduced herself.
Why am I suddenly stuck in this whirlwind with Okita Souji at its core? she thought.
Kondou-san had the happy ability to effortlessly charm people. Warmhearted and confident, he immediately won over the two weary policemen attached to the parcel reception. They registered the parcels without hesitation.
If Chizuru had ever imagined what Okita's father looked like, it would definitely have been another person. She could picture some harsh, sarcastic man, making a fool of everyone around him. The real Kondou-san was unexpectedly cheerful. Chizuru wondered how this man had managed to raise someone like Okita. They shared a sort of a childlike attitude about them, but that was all. Not to mention that Okita rarely showed that soft side of him.
Kondou-san insisted on driving Chizuru home. Chizuru insisted on treating him with dinner and hot tea. She was starting to get used to that Shinsengumi style of doing things, which meant coping with hardships together and supporting each other. It was a strange feeling of being involved. Maybe that was the cement that kept all those ridiculously different people together. What if Kondou-san had been the main catalyst for their consolidation back then? Chizuru wondered. We just met today and we're already discussing something in our kitchen like old friends. They didn't talk about Okita much, but Chizuru got an overall impression that Kondou-san still treated his stepson like a green boy. That must be a hard burden - a caring parent mistaking you for an innocent and incapable kid.
...
"Come on, wipe your tears!"
"Oh, he's unbearable, how d'ya cope with him?"
"Ur a little son of a bitch, d'ya think ur the fucking smartest one here?!"
"Give it a try, just blow and the walls will flow!"
"See, all lit up!"
"If someone asks you, you've seen nothing, okay?"
"Get your shit together, pal, he's just a sweet little boy!"
"He's like his father, a hopeless one!"
"Your child's a fucking hikki, he doesn't get along with people."
"Don't be afraid to be strict with him!"
"Okita-kun, ur so strange…"
"Step back! Don't approach him, he's dirty…"
Oh fuck. The dream was absolutely shitacious. He's dirty, huh?
Heart-throbbing is annoying. Memories of home are very vivid now. Not that I've ever had one, but several places really deserve to be called home, mainly Kondou-san's house and the trashy brick mansion where Chizuru struggles to sleep alone now. I can picture her talking to me saying that the house is full of noises and how she's afraid to sleep. She tries to act cool and to joke, but her hectic gestures betray her anxiety. She laughs awkwardly and looks straight into my eyes. Still cannot get used to it. I've seen many times how people start to avoid me. I guess I tend to offend them and then they try to pretend that I don't exist. As if it would solve the problem, ha… solve me. Oh, fuck them all. She'd never done any of it, even when I was a bit of an asshole. It just made her a bit cocky too. If I finally crossed the line, Chizuru'd rather beat me up than turn away. She always stares at me with her varicolored eyes as if acknowledging my very existence… My my, this jail is screwing with my mind. If I start writing pathetic poetry like Hijikata-san kill me please.
I don't really get why she's so restless about sleeping alone in the dark. I guess I've avoided many troubles that middle-class luckies tend to face. Surrounded by wild dogs, one cannot be afraid of some humble shit. Anyway I have fun watching late-night films with her…
"You seem to frustrate our neighbours, pal," says one of the Onis, the normal one, breaking my musing. It's hard to return to the current reality, but things are heating up.
We inhabit a large room with rows of bunk beds, dim lights and shabby walls. And - surprise! - we share it with our opponents. What kind of experiments do the cops conduct here? After lights out, everyone is expected to sleep, but given the circumstances, who the hell can sleep? The furious glances promise nothing good. I have no choice but to keep closer to the Onis. Once cops disappear the gang of thugs approaches me to continue our little misunderstanding. They say something, but it's just an annoying background noise. Could be worse. The one rule that always saved if not my life then my health is to strike first and never hesitate. I don't wait for the fuckers to reach me and punch the closest. Desperately need to scare them. For the next several minutes my body moves by itself and I don't remember the details. At least, I'm not the seven-year-old beaten boy throwing up his dinner in the corner anymore.
Surprisingly, the Onis' keyboardist comes to my side, but we are still outnumbered. The assholes knock me down and the chest explodes in pain. Someone hits me in the abs. The Onis' vocalist finally stands up. His Highness curses and gives a mighty round kick to the thugs' leader. The edges of the chic kinagashi pull loose and the fuckers could get a pantyshot if interested. Their leader flies away (godspeed!) and crashes into the iron bars making up the door. The fighting ends immediately and the silence is deafening. The gang retreats to the opposite corner. I get up and turn to the guys.
"Thanks!" My broken lip makes it hard to smile.
"Nevermind!" The Onis' keyboardist smiles sarcastically. "I know you, you're Okita-kun, right? My name's Shiranui Kyo." He offers me his hand. I already like this guy.
"Nice to meet you, Shiranui-kun." I shake his hand. His colleague snorts in irritation.
"Kazama Chikage, my vocalist." Shiranui-kun grins and points at bastard-sama.
"You are a walking disaster, boy." Kazama-kun glances at me without a smile, but he's not as intimidating as before. "Many versus one, how dishonest." He spits out the latter words.
We team up and occupy the corner. It's highly preferable to arrive at the trial in one piece. Everyone is too agitated to sleep, so we instantly find some common topics. When several musicians meet they never shut up about music. Kazama-kun turns out to be a cool guy. He knows the whole industrial and post-industrial scene thoroughly. Hajime-kun has missed an interesting discussion here. The fundie gang is clearly listening to our chatter. Maybe they'll see that we are just musicians and don't give a fuck about their deep and meaningful problems.
We have no choice but set a night watch. I'm used to the lack of sleep so I let the Onis rest for several hours until dawn. I doubt I could sleep anyway. My scrapes hurt and the lip has already swollen.
In the morning, we're offered meals. They don't look promising and I skip. Not the first time I've starved, right?
Aside from cold and hunger, boredom becomes our main problem. Jails are known for being places where a person can reconsider his miserable life. The flow of time is slow and imperceptible so we long for entertainment. We're allowed to read books and it seems to be the only entertainment. Shiranui-kun searches through the bookshelf and we hear his cursing and snickering.
"I don't get it. Is this some sort of freaking humiliation?" He raises his head.
"What's up?"
"There's nothing but your typical women's romance paperbacks and several reference books."
"You're kidding." The perspective of melting my mind on romance books scares me. Not that I'm much a bookworm, but still. Hijikata-san would probably find it more interesting. He only pretends to be flawless.
"Well, I'll try some. Otherwise, I gonna die from boredom." Shiranui-kun takes several books and we are escorted back to our room.
...
"Imprisonment and death are the only reasons to skip a rehearsal!" exclaimed Hijikata-san. The schedule was dense and they had to practise with or without Okita.
"We can make a banner with those golden words, Hijikata-san," noted Chizuru with a stony face. "Would suit that rug on the wall."
"You know, I'd just started to miss the sarcastic comments from the corner!" said Harada-san. Humorless barks of laughter followed his words.
"At first I was like 'oh, finally some peace', but now I'm not sure," Shinpachi-san smirked.
"Now we have Chizuru-chan instead of Souji!" said Heisuke-kun.
"The worst compliment I've ever heard," muttered Hijikata-san.
The pack was doing its best to keep morale high. Hijikata-san's media war progressed with mixed success. The show's cancellation and the infamous brawl had scandalized society. Some people empathised with the band, others blamed them. Chizuru's position was ambivalent. Several acquaintances deleted her from their social media, but she didn't care.
The guys tried not to leave Chizuru alone, though they didn't go so far as to guide her every step. Thus she was very surprised to hear the doorbell in the evening long after everyone had left. She checked the spy hole to see a face strangely resembling her own.
"Evening, Kaoru," Chizuru greeted him dryly. They had never been close.
"Hello," her cousin said nonchalantly. "Mind if I drop in?" He looked like he always did. Pale face, circles under the eyes, black trench coat, polished boots.
"How did you know my whereabouts?" She didn't rush to let him in.
"Be careful with the geolocation access. Like, don't click every link you receive." Kaoru smiled amiably.
Shit, you creep. Chizuru was very cautious about everything she exchanged with her cousin; however, she must have done something wrong.
"Come in," she stepped back into the house. Kaoru entered, shooting quick glances around. He must have noticed the guys' belongings in the hall. Chizuru didn't miss a light frown playing on his brow. She invited him to the kitchen and started preparing tea. The pack preferred to gather in the kitchen instead of the living room. However, Kaoru could mistake it for a gesture of defiance.
"Okay, why were you so desperate about finding my place?" She took over the initiative. "You could just call and arrange a meeting."
"Your parents are worried about you, me as well," started Kaoru. "I was sure that something was odd about your sudden move. And you've never invited us to visit. Such a big house… How do you live here all alone?"
"Did my parents send you?"
"And still…"
"I have a housemate." It was pointless to keep it a secret. "Any objections?"
"Since I don't see anyone, it must be that ridiculous guy who's now hitting the bed in jail," said Kaoru slowly. "Must be a bed of nails for him… Oh, thank you," he added, nodding when Chizuru put a steaming cup in front of him.
Chizuru didn't answer. She was beginning to heat up, but a long-time habit of tolerating the relatives was keeping her under control.
"Chizuru." He looked at her intently. Chizuru shot him a gloomy look. "Your parents gave you a trouble-free childhood." She rolled her eyes. "They've paid for your education, for useful skills and so on. You had a job in a reputable orchestra. They are trying to arrange an omiai for you…"
"Nonsense!" snapped Chizuru losing her temper. "Ridiculous! Anyway, I hope that any proper omiai candidate will run in fear because - oh shit! - I don't work for the reputable orchestra anymore. Good luck!"
"Chizuru…" Her cousin looked pleased, she was pretty sure of it.
"No, you listen to me, Kaoru. I have nothing to do with the fact that your family didn't pay for your education and so on." And apparently didn't care much about you, she thought. "I won't apologize for it. However, despite the hardships you've faced, you've always been the one to decide what to do with your"—fucking—"life."
The smile fell from his face. Chizuru continued. "I don't know whether I'll be able to repay my debt to my parents or not, I'll figure it out myself. My housemate and my colleagues have nothing to do with you either. Now I suggest we change the topic." Chizuru turned away before she said something she would regret later.
"You weren't like this before," Kaoru muttered musingly. "I've never heard you swear.." A small smile curved his lips. "Doesn't suit you."
Chizuru chortled.
"I think I get your point," he continued. "But you'd better stop denying your background so eagerly. This new arty life can end in an instant and you'll find yourself in the same dead end without any firm foundation under your feet. I guess there are problems already. What I want to say is..." He paused for a little bit. "Don't get too invested in it."
"I'll consider it." She paid no heed to his words.
He didn't stay long. Chizuru wondered what the purpose of his visit was. She felt a desperate urge to talk to someone, but there were no options. Sen-chan had recently invited her to go out through social media, but entrusting her with personal matters was out of question. None of her former acquaintances or colleagues would suit either.
Chizuru trudged to her room and took out a pile of paper. Let it be a letter to Okita, one he hopefully would never see.
...
Authors note. Hello, dear readers! It's been a while and I'm happy to finally post this chapter. All these months I was busy rewriting the previous ones. I've got acquainted with ImpracticalDemon and she kindly lent me a hand with this story. So ImpracticalDemon helps me with beta reading now! I'm endlessly grateful to you for editing, interesting communication and encouragement.
While rewriting, I couldn't avoid minor changes. This time gap also gave me an opportunity to reconsider the story. Generally, everything is the same, but tiny details and lines were added here and there. Now I have a clearer idea of the main characters' dynamic and the changes must emphasize it.
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The chapter is named after the song 'Not Human' by Hocico.
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As always, I'm thankful to everyone who left the signs of appreciation since the previous chapter had been posted. Thanks to nakigaoyuu, ImpracticalDemon, NTagor for the reviews =)