A/N: Here's another chapter. I have just started season 4. I can't wait to get there with this story. Enjoy the chapter.
Sam and I lean against the side of the Impala as Dean goes and grabs us some coffee. I can't tell them that the demon with yellow eyes communicated with me. I would have to tell them everything that happened, and I am so not ready for that yet. Sam and I look at a playground that doesn't seem right. There's only one kid playing, her mother sits on a bench nearby reading a magazine. I look down to the ground as I think about what my life could've been like.
"Well..." I hear Dean say as he comes around the car. Sam grabs one of the cups of the three cups of coffee from his brother and hands it to me, before grabbing another one for himself. "The waitress thinks the local Freemasons are up to something sneaky, but other than that no one's heard about anything freaky going on."
"Dean you got the time?" Sam asks. Dean looks at his watch before answering.
"Ten after Four. Why?"
"What's wrong with this picture." Sam says slightly gesturing to the playground with his head. My eyes go back to the one girl playing.
"School's out isn't it?" Dean asks.
"Where are all the kids?" I ask. "It feels like a ghost town."
"I'll go talk to the mom." Dean says.
"No, let me." I say. I start walking over to the woman, not looking to the boys. Dean calls out to me, but Sam stops him from following. I head to the free side of the bench the mother is on. I sit down and watch the little girl for a second. "It's kinda quiet out here." I comment. The mother looks up from her reading material at me.
"Yeah, it's a shame." She says.
"Why is that?" I ask, turning to her.
"You know, kids getting sick, it's a terrible thing."
"How many?" I ask with concern on my face.
"Just five or six, but serious." She answers. "Hospital serious. A lot of parents are getting pretty anxious. They think it's catching." She finishes as she looks back down at the magazine in her lap. I turn back to look at the girl playing by herself. This isn't right. This isn't normal. I stand from the bench and make my way back to the boys. I take a sip of my coffee as they look at me, curiosity present in their expressions.
"We need to hit the hospital next." I say. "Kids are getting sick, and no one knows why."
"Are you okay, Shel?" Dean asks.
"Yeah, I'm fine." I lie as I take a sip of my coffee. "Now, we need to change, and head to the hospital. Dean squints his eyes at me. I open the door to the back seat and get in as the boys slowly follow. We head into a local diner to change in the bathroom, and drive over to the hospital. Dean and I take out IDs saying that we work for the CDC, or Center for Disease Control.
"Where's mine?" Sam asks.
"I don't have one for you." Dean says as he looks through the rest of his stash for something Sam can use. "Here, just use this one." Dean hands him a random card. With that, the three of us head inside. "You know, I always love when you wear that outfit, Shel." He sucks in a breath. "Just somethin' about a powerful woman in a blazer, pencil skirt, and some dangerous lookin' heels." I smile as we walk in the doors.
"Guys, I am not using this ID." Sam says.
"Why not?" Dean asks.
"Cause it says bikini inspector on it." Sam says quietly. Dean and I both smile at that.
"Don't worry, she won't look that close alright? Hell, she won't even ask to see it." Dean says.
"It's all about confidence Sammy." I pipe up. As we pass the desk, Dean turns Sam to the receptionist. Dean and I stop a short distance away.
"Hi. I'm Doctor Jerry Caplin, Centers for Disease Control." He says to the woman.
"Can I see some ID?" The lady asks him. Dean almost laughs as Sam looks towards us.
"Yeah, of course." Sam flashes a big smile at her as he pulls out the ID. He quickly flashes it at her then puts it back in side his jacket. "Now could you direct me to the pediatrics ward please?"
"Okay well, just go down that hall, turn left and up the stairs." The woman instructs. Sam walks over to us.
"See, confidence." I say to him.
"Yeah, yeah. Whatever." He replies in a low voice. "Follow me. It's upstairs." We walk upstairs and down a hallway. Halfway down I notice Dean isn't following Sam and I.
"Sam." I call out to get him to stop walking. We look back at Dean, stopped at one of the open doors.
"Dean." Sam calls out to him. Dean starts following us again, and I notice him glance back at the door.
"You okay?" I ask.
"I'm fine." He says, shooting me a pointed glare. He knows there's something going on with me, and he's throwing my words from earlier back at me. I roll my eyes as we continue to the pediatrics ward. Once we get there we meet the doctor in charge for the ward. "Well, thanks for seeing us, Dr. Hydecker." Dean says as we walk into the waiting room.
"Well I'm glad you guys are here." The doctor says. "I was just about to call CDC myself. How'd you find out anyways?"
"Oh some GP, I forget his name," Dean answers. "He called Atlanta and, uh, he must've beat you to the punch." We walk along the glass wall with all the sick children in their hospital beds. The image of the grieving mothers, still filled with some hope for their kids, pulls at my heart. I can't pull my eyes away from the children just wasting away. It
"So, you say you got six cases so far?" Sam asks.
"Yeah, five weeks." Hydecker answers. "At first we thought it was garden variety bacterial pneumonia. Not that newsworthy. But now..."
"Now what?" I ask, forcing myself to look away from the patients and to the doctor.
"The kids aren't responding to antibiotics. Their white cell counts keep going down. Their immune systems just aren't doing their job. It's like their bodies are ... wearing out." The doctor answers. I look back to the poor kids.
"Excuse me, Dr. Hydecker." A nurse says handing him some papers to sign.
"You ever see anything like this before?" Sam asks the doctor.
"Never this severe." He answers.
"And the way it spreads...that's a new one for me." The nurse adds as the doctor signs the papers.
"What do you mean?" I ask.
"It works its way through families. But only the children, one sibling after another." That's very strange. That's no regular sickness.
"You mind if we interview a few of the kids?" Dean asks.
"They're not conscious." The nurse replies.
"None of them?" Sam asks.
"No." She answers simply.
"Can we, uh, can we talk to the parents?" Dean continues.
"Well, if you think it'll help." The doctor says.
"Yeah." Dean insists. "Who was your most recent admission?" We're directed to a man in the waiting room. We ask to speak to him out in the hallway. He agrees and we sit him down. He doesn't seem too interested in talking to us for too long. What loving father would want to be away from his sick daughters? But, we need answers.
"I should get back to my girls." He tells us.
"We understand that, and we really appreciate you talking to us." I say in a soft comforting voice.
"Now you say Mary is the oldest?" Sam asks.
"Thirteen." He answers.
"Ok. And she came down with it first, right? And then..."
"Bethany, the next night." The father says.
"Within twenty four hours?" I ask.
"I guess." The man says. "Look, I, uh, I already went through all this with the doctor."
"Just a few more questions if you don't mind." I say, trying to make him feel a little more at ease.
"How do you think they caught pneumonia? Were they out in the cold, anything like that?" Dean asks.
"No. We think it was an open window." The man says looking down at his hands.
"Both times?" I ask.
"The first time, I, I don't really remember but the second time for sure." The father answers. "And I know I closed it before I put Bethany to bed."
"So you think she opened it?" Sam asks.
"It's a second story window with a ledge. No one else could've." The man answers. We let the man go back to his daughters and start making our way out of the hospital. I lead the way as the boys follow.
"You know this might not be anything supernatural. It might just be pneumonia." Sam says.
"That's a nice thought, but it's not." I say harshly.
"Yeah, dad sent us down here for a reason. I think we might be barking up the right tree." Dean says.
"It's so familiar to me, but I just can't put my finger on it." I say.
"I'll tell you one thing." Sam says.
"What?" Dean asks.
"That guy we just talked to? I'm betting it'll be a while before he goes home." Sam suggests.
"Let's not waste any more time, then." I say. We change back into casual clothes before we get back in the Impala.
As we drive to the man's house, I think about those poor kids again. What would I do if I were in their position? I would be a mess. Even as a hunter, I would just shut down. I know that Dean would go crazy trying to fix it. Sam would be trying to comfort me, and John would be helping Dean. Well, something like that will never happen. The car stops and we head inside to investigate what might have really happened to these poor kids. We find one of the little girl's bedrooms and start looking around. We pull out some devices to help us.
"You got anything over there?" Sam asks.
"Nope." I answer.
"Nothing." Dean agrees.
"Yeah, me neither." Sam says. I watch him walk over to the window. I look around at the little girl's room. It reminds me of my own room from when I was a baby; toys on shelves, a small bookcase. "Hey, guys?" Sam says, snapping me back to reality.
"Yeah?" Dean and I say at the same time.
"You were right." Sam sighs as he steps away from the window he just opened. "It's not pneumonia." Dean and I join him at the window. On the outside of the windowsill is a strange handprint.
"That's rotted." I point out as I touch the blackened wood.
"What the hell leaves a handprint like that?" Sam asks. This is what I think it is, but I can't name it. This is like having a song in your head and not remembering what the name is. This is so frustrating. Dean leans on the windowsill next to me to take a closer look. He starts to look a bit out of it.
"I know why Dad sent us here." He says, standing back up. "He's faced this thing before. He wants us to finish the job."
"What are you talking about?" Sam asks.
"It's a Shtriga." Dean says as he turns to leave the room. I clap my hands together.
"That's it!" I yell, a bit excited. "Man, you don't know how long I've been trying to remember what it's called." I say as I follow Dean. Sam follows me out and we drive around to find someplace to stay for the night. After dark we find a place. Dean parks in front of the office door. All of us get out of the car.
"So what the hell is a Shtriga?" Sam asks.
"It's...kinda like a witch I think. I don't know much about 'em." Dean says.
"Me neither." I add as Dean heads to the trunk.
"Well I've never heard of it. And it's not in Dad's journal." Sam joins Dean at the now open trunk.
"Dad hunted one in Fort Douglas, Wisconsin, about 16, 17 years ago." Dean informs his little brother. "You were there. You don't remember?"
"No." Sam answers.
"I guess he caught wind of the things in Fitchburg now and kicked us the coordinates." Dean says as he goes through the credit cards that he has in one of the bags.
"So wait, this..." Sam pauses thinking of the name again.
"Shtriga." I tell him.
"Right." Sam says. "You think it's the same one Dad hunted before?"
"Yeah, maybe." Dean answers shutting the trunk.
"But if Dad went after it why is it still breathing air?" It's a good point. John's a pretty talented hunter. It's not often something could get away from him.
"Cause it got away." Dean answers simply, walking towards the office door.
"Got away?" Sam asks. Dean stops in his tracks and turns back to Sam as I walk around the opposite side of the car.
"Yeah Sammy it happens." I can tell he's getting a bit irritated with all the questioning.
"Not very often." Sam points out.
"Well I don't know what to tell ya, man. Maybe Dad didn't have his Wheaties that morning." Dean says before turning away and continuing on his path to go inside.
"What else do you remember?" Sam asks yet another question.
"Nothin'." Dean says defensively. "I was a kid all right?" With that Dean enters the reception area to book a room. Sam turns to talk to me over the roof of the car.
"You think it's weird too, right?" He asks me.
"Yeah, John was a really thorough hunter." I say. "If he's after something, either he's gonna kill it, or it's gonna kill him." I see a woman enter the office. "I'm gonna go see if he needs any help in there. Sam smiles at me as I walk in.
"Two queens." I hear a boy say.
"Hey babe, everything okay?" I ask as I come up on his left, grabbing his arm.
"Yeah, we're all good in here, honey." Dean says as he pulls me into a kiss. It was soft and quick. As we pull away, Dean shoots a look at the kid. He holds up his hands in defense. "Funny kid." Dean says to the woman behind the desk. He wraps an arm around my waist.
"Oh, yeah. He thinks so." The woman says, filling out paperwork. "Will that be cash or credit?" She asks, looking up at us.
"You take MasterCard?" He asks.
"Mmhm." She answers with a nod.
"Perfect." He says taking out a card with the name Kris Warren on it. He sets it on the counter. "Here you go." She gives us the check-in paper to sign, but I notice Dean zoning out a bit. I follow his line of sight to the two boys in the back.
"Babe." I say, trying to get his attention. He doesn't react.
"Sir." The woman tries. Finally, he snaps back to reality and takes the card from her hands.
"Thanks." Dean smiles at her. He signs the paper and she gives us another paper to sign. The receipt I think. Then, we head outside.
"Let's go." I say. The boys have no objection as we drive the Impala over to our room. As we get settled in Sam pulls out his laptop to look up the lore of Shtrigas. Dean and I check out the kitchen area as we look for something in any of the books we have at the small table. Hours pass and Dean brews some coffee. He hands me a mug filled with the rich brown liquid. As I take a sip Sam pipes up.
"Well, you were right. Heh. It wasn't very easy to find but you were right. Shtriga is a kind of witch. They're Albanian," Sam says looking towards us. "But legends about them trace back to Ancient Rome. They feed off spiritus vitae."
"Spiri-what?" Dean asks.
"Vitae. It's Latin for 'breath of life'." I say.
"Kinda like your life force or essence." Sam
"Didn't the doctor say the kids' bodies were wearing out?" Dean asks as he writes something down.
"Even if he didn't, the kid clearly looks like they were wasting away." I say sadly as I look down at the book in front of me.
"It's a thought." Sam says. "You know she takes your vitality maybe your immunity goes to hell, pneumonia takes hold. Anyway," He goes back to reading from his laptop. "Shtrigas can feed off anyone but they prefer..."
"Children." Dean and I say at the same time.
"Yeah. Probably because they have stronger life force. And get this. Shtrigas are '...invulnerable to all weapons devised by God and man.'" Sam reads from his laptop again.
"That can't be right." I say my thoughts out loud. "She must be vulnerable at some point." Dean puts his pencil down and walks over to his bag on the bed Sam isn't taking up.
"Yeah. She's vulnerable when she feeds." Dean answers me.
"What?" Sam asks. Dean unzips the bag to pull out a leather bound journal. I don't think it's Johns, though.
"If you catch her when she's eating you can blast her with consecrated wrought iron. Ahhh...buckshots or rounds I think." Dean informs us. I take another sip of coffee as I look down at the book in front of me again.
"How do you know that?" Sam asks.
"Dad told me. I remember." Dean says as he makes his way back to the counter.
"Oh." Sam sighs, but he seems upset. "So uh, anything else Dad might have mentioned?" I shift my gaze between the two as an air of tension settles in the room.
"Nope, that's it." Dean says. There's a short pause as Sam keeps staring at his brother. Dean looks up at Sam. "What?"
"Nothin'." I scoff at Sam's words. "Okay. So," Sam gets up from the bed and walks towards us. "Assuming we can kill it when it eats we still gotta find the thing first, which ain't gonna be a cakewalk. Shtrigas take on a human disguise when they're not hunting."
"What kinda human disguise?" I ask.
"Well, historically, something innocuous." Sam answers as he goes to pour himself a cup of coffee. "Could be anything, but it's usually a feeble old woman, which might be how the witches as old crones legend got started."
"Hang on." Dean says turning to me. "Hey Shel, you got a map over there?" I put down my mug and lift the book in front of me up. There, folded up, is a map of the town. I grab it and hold it out to Dean.
"Here."
"Thanks, babe." He says. I've noticed that he's calling me babe more often. I guess old habits die-hard. He unfolds the map and shows Sam. "Check this out." He says as he sets it down on the counter. "I marked down all the addresses of the victims." He says as I join them. I see the red X's marked on the map. "Now these are the houses that have been hit so far, and dead center?"
"The hospital." Sam says.
"The hospital." Dean confirms. "Now when we were there I saw a patient, an old woman."
"An old person huh?" Sam says to Dean as if he were stating something not out of the ordinary.
"Yeah." Dean says.
"In a hospital?" Sam says, continuing his tone. "Better call the Coast Guard." He chuckles as he turns back to his coffee.
"Isn't that what we're looking for, smartass?" I say. "Someone who blends in, and doesn't particularly grab anyone's attention?" Sam turns back to us and leans on the counter behind him. "Anything else odd about 'er?" I ask Dean.
"Well, she had an inverted cross hanging on her wall." Sam's expression turns serious at Dean's words.
"Let's go check 'er out then." I say, as I get ready to go. They copy my actions and soon we are headed to the hospital. We walk inside and head up the stairs like we did earlier. The lights are dimmed and I see someone buffing the floor at the end of the hallway. We hear some voices in the perpendicular hall and I press myself against the wall to stay out of sight. The boys turn their backs to hide their faces and mine from view.
"Good night Dr. Hydecker." A nurse says.
"See you tomorrow Betty." He replies.
"Try to get some sleep." She tells him as he walks past the hallway we're in. Once he's gone we continue on our quest to the old lady's room. We get to a slightly brighter hallway and Dean stops at a door labeled with the number '237'. Dean takes out his gun and Sam opens the door quietly. We head inside. Dean walks towards the woman as Sam takes the middle ground. I pull the blinds on the inside window in case someone passes by. We don't need someone catching us. Once I'm done with that I pull out my gun and aim it at the back of the woman's head. She is completely still. Is she dead? Dean gets close to her to see if she's still breathing. Suddenly she jerks her head towards Dean and he jumps back about two feet into the wall.
"Who the hell are you?" She asks out loud. Sam and I pull our guns back. "Who's there?" She asks shifting her head side to side. "You trying to steal my stuff?" Sam turns the light in the room on. "They're always stealing around here." I can now see that she has a fog over her eyes. She can't see anything with cataracts like that.
"No! Ah, ma'am, we're maintenance." Sam says.
"We're sorry. We thought you were sleepin'." I say in a soothing voice.
"Ahhh, nonsense. I was sleeping with my peepers open." The woman says as she starts laughing. "And fix that crucifix, would ya?" She says gesturing to the wall by Dean. "I've asked four damn times already!" I look over to Dean and let out a breath as he flicks the cross. It corrects itself and we turn to leave.
"Sorry to disturb you ma'am." I say. We sneak back out of the hospital and head back to the motel. It's light out by the time we get back. Sam shakes his head and laughs a little.
"I was sleeping with my peepers open?" He quotes the old lady as he continues to laugh.
"It's not funny Sam." I say as we all get out of the car.
"I almost smoked that old girl, I swear." Dean says. Sam goes to unlock the room door, still laughing.
"Oh man, you shoulda seen your face, Dean." Sam says. I look over towards the office and see the older kid from last night sitting on a bench. He looks upset.
"Yeah, laugh it off. Now we're back to square one." Dean says.
"Hang on." I say as I start walking towards the kid.
"Where're you goin'?" I hear Sam ask. I don't answer, and I hear their footsteps following me.
"Hey, what's wrong?" I ask the kid as I crouch down to his eye level. He turns to me and I see that his eyes are red and puffy.
"My brother's sick." He answers. Oh no.
"The little guy?" Dean asks from behind me. He nods in answer.
"Pneumonia." The boy voices our fears. "He's in the hospital. It's my fault."
"Ah c'mon, how?" Dean asks.
"I shoulda made sure the window was latched. He wouldn't 'ave got pneumonia if the window was latched." The kid says as he looks down at his lap.
"Listen. This was not your fault. Okay?" I say. He looks at me, and I can tell he doesn't believe my words.
"It's my job to look after him." The boy says. I look to the boys before hearing the office door open. I look up and see the mother rushing out with her arms full.
"Michael." She says, getting the kid's attention. He stands from the bench, and walks over to his mother as I stand up. "I want you to turn on the no vacancy sign while I'm gone." She tells him as she packs up her car. "I've got Denise covering room service so don't bother with any of the rooms."
"I'm going with you." The boy says.
"Not now Michael." She says firmly.
"But I gotta see Asher!" He insists. We walk up to the two of them as Dean speaks to the kid.
"Hey Michael. Hey. I know how you feel. I'm a big brother too, but you gotta go easy on your Mom right now, ok?" The kid's mother shuts the car door, but accidentally drops her purse. Sam jumps to the rescue and picks it up for her.
"I got it." He says. "Here." He hands her the purse. "Thank you." The woman says taking it from him.
"Hey, listen, you're in no condition to drive." I say to her. She looks to me.
"Yeah, why don't you let me give you a lift to the hospital." Dean offers.
"No, I couldn't possibly-"
"No, it's no trouble. I insist." Dean interrupts. She pauses and hands him her keys.
"Thanks." She says. I watch as he kisses her son on the top of the head. "Be good." She says to him. She gets in the passenger seat, dean closing the door for her. Then, he turns to Sam and I.
"We're gonna kill this thing. I want it dead, you hear me?" Dean says before heading to the driver's side. I watch them drive away. The kid heads inside and I turn to Sam.
"Time for research." I say. Sam nods to me and we head over to the library. As I start searching for any books that might help us, Sam hops on a microfiche machine. About an hour later, I give up on the books and start looking over Sam's shoulder. He scrolls past a picture that catches my eye. "Wait, wait, wait." I say. "Go back to that picture." He scrolls back and I point to one of the men in the picture. "Does that guy look familiar to you?" Sam looks closer and starts reading the article that goes with it.
"No way." Sam says in disbelief. He immediately pulls out his phone and gives Dean a call. I only hear Sam's side of the conversation. "Hey. How's the kid?... We're at the library. We've been trying to find out as much as we can about this Shtriga… Well, bad news. I started with Fort Douglas around the time you said Dad was there?" Sam scrolls back to the top of the newspaper. "Same deal. Before that, there was, uh, Ogdenville, before that North Haverbrook, and Brockway. Every 15 to 20 years it hits a new town. Dean, this thing is just getting started in Fitchburg. In all these other places it goes on for months. Dozens of kids before the Shtriga finally moves on. The kids just ... languish in comas and then they die." This is really not good. How could this thing do this to kids? Innocent kids that haven't really lived life yet. "Ah, I don't know. The earliest mention I could find is this place called "Black River Falls" back in the 1890s. Talk about a horror show."
"Tell him about the picture." I whisper harshly to Sam.
"And Shel noticed a picture in one of the articles…. It's a photograph of a bunch of doctors standing around a kid's bed. One of the Doctors is Hydecker…. And this picture was taken in 1893…. Yeah. Yeah absolutely." A few seconds later Sam hangs up and stands from his chair. "Let's meet back up at the motel." He says. We leave and wait at the room for Dean to come back. We didn't have to wait too long for Dean to burst through the door and sits on the bed next to me.
"We should have thought of this before." Sam says, pacing the room.
"A doctor is a perfect disguise." I say. "You're trusted, you can control the whole thing." Dean stands up and takes his leather jacket off, tossing it to the floor.
"That son of a bitch." Dean says beginning to pace as well.
"I'm surprised you didn't draw on 'im right there." Sam says leaning against the counter in the kitchenette area.
"Yeah well, first of all, I'm not going to open fire in a freakin' pediatrics ward." Dean says.
"Good call." Sam comments.
"Second, wouldn't have done any good, because the bastard's bullet proof unless he's chowing down on somethin'." Dean makes a good point. "And third, I wasn't packing, which is probably a really good thing cause I probably would have just burned a clip in him on principle alone." To be honest, I probably would've too. I feel like children should be off limits. I slightly shake my head in frustration.
"You're getting wise in your old age Dean." Sam says.
"Damn right." Dean says as I look up at him from my seat on the edge of the bed. "Cause now I know how we're going to get it."
"Wait, what? How?" I ask, following him as he walks towards Sam. I stand up and join them.
"Shtriga, works through siblings right?" He says.
"Right." Sam says. I think about Dean's words.
"You're not really thinking of using the kid as bait are you?" I ask Dean harshly. I glare at him as Sam looks between us. Dean doesn't even look at me.
"It's the only way." He says. "If this thing disappears it could be years before we get another chance."
"He's just a kid, Dean." I say as I stare him down. I notice Sam hasn't said anything about this. I turn to look at him. "Are you gonna say anything?" My question snaps him back to reality.
"Come on, man." Sam says to his brother. "We can't just dangle him in front of that thing like a worm on a hook."
"Dad did not send me here to walk away." Dean says.
"Send YOU here?" Sam asks. "He didn't send you here, he sent us here." He points out.
"This isn't about you two, alright?" Dean says, turning away from us. "I'm the one who screwed up. It's my fault. There's no telling how many kids have gotten hurt because of me." What is he talking about?
"How is this your fault?" I ask. There's a long pause before Sam breaks it.
"Dean. You've been hiding something from the get-go." Sam points out. Even I think he was acting a bit weird, but I didn't want to point it out because I'm also hiding something. "Since when does Dad bail on a hunt? Since when does he let something get away?" I watch as Dean sits on the end of the closest bed. "Now talk to us, man. Tell us what's going on."
There's a short pause before Dean starts explaining to us what happened in Fort Douglas, Wisconsin. On the third day there he decided to leave the room to get some fresh air. When he cam back to the room the Shtriga was feeding on Sam. Luckily John came back in time to save the kid. After the Shtriga was scared off and Sam woke up John focused his attention on Dean. I can tell you it's never good to be on the other side of John's temper. He will yell at you until he's blue in the face. It actually brings back a few good memories of my own, but this was not a great memory for Dean. It's probably why he does everything John says.
"Dad just...grabbed us and booked." Dean explains as Sam sits on the other side of him. I'm on his right and Sam's on his left. "Dropped us off at Pastor Jim's about three hours away, but by the time he got back to Fort Douglas the Shtriga disappeared, it was just gone." I bring my hand up and start gently rubbing his back to console him a bit. "It never surfaced until now. You know, Dad never spoke about it again, I didn't ask. But he...ah...he looked at me different, you know? Which was worse. Not that I blame him. He gave me an order and I didn't listen, I almost got you killed."
"You were just a kid." Sam says quietly.
"Don't." Dean says quickly. "Don't." I drop may hand, the one rubbing his back, into my lap. "Dad knew this was unfinished business for me. He sent me here to finish it."
"But using Michael, I don't know Dean. I mean, how 'bout one of us hides under the covers, you know, we'll be the bait." Sam suggests.
"Yeah, I'm small enough. It might work." I say softly.
"No, it won't work." Dean rejects the idea. "It's gotta get close enough to feed. It'll see us. Believe me, I don't like it, but it's gotta be the kid."
"If he were my kid, I'd rather die than have him be bait." I say. The boys look to me with questioning expressions. "You're gonna have to get the kid to cooperate, and I'm not helping you with this one." I stand up from the bed and put on my coat.
"But he's not your kid, Shel." Dean points out as I'm facing away from them. His words stop me in my tracks.
"Maybe not. But I draw the line at using kids as bait." I grab some cash and start walking to the door. "If the kid's fine with your crazy ass plan, then so be it. But I won't be part of it."
"Shel." Sam and Dean both say, trying to get me to calm down and help them.
"No!" I yell at them. "And that's final!" I turn to the door. "I'll be at the bar when this is all over." I say as I open the door. I look at them over my shoulder. "Good luck, boys." I walk out and slam the door. I hear them talking about how they're gonna convince the kid without me. I hear the door swing open behind me, but I don't turn around. I just keep walking across the parking lot with my hands in my pockets. I'll have to search around town for a bit to find a bar. I don't remember seeing one.
"Shel." I hear Sam's voice call to me. I shake my head and keep walking. "Hey!" He yells as he catches up to me. He grabs my shoulder and turns me around to stop me and make me look at him. "Please. You need to help us with this."
"Why?" I laugh out. "Because you guys say so?" Sam just looks down at me and I'm reminded of the yellow-eyed demon and my dream. "I'm sorry Sammy, but I have standards." He continues to look in my eyes.
"You're hiding something too." He says.
"Yup." I answer truthfully. "And I'm not gonna tell you until I tell Dean first. And I'm not ready yet." I pause for a moment before turning and walking away from the young Winchester. I hear him let out a frustrated sigh and walk back to the room.
I keep walking into town. I find a bar and order a beer. I take sips and think about the right time or place to tell Dean the secret I'm keeping. How am I going to word it? How will he react? Will he be upset with me for keeping it from him? These questions and many more go through my mind as I continue to take sips. A few guys try to hit on me, but I shoot them down pretty quickly. One of them tries to buy me a drink and I refuse. The bartender shouts 'last call'. I pay for my one beer, which I didn't even finish, and I leave.
I walk around town for a while and finally end up sitting on one of the benches at the playground. I stare at the monkey bars and the swings. I feel tears leave my eyes as I sit there in a daze. I don't know how long I've been sitting here when a familiar presence sits to my right.
"Is there something you wanna tell me?" He breaks the silence. I wipe away the streams of liquid from my cheeks and clear my throat.
"Not yet." I whisper.
"Come on, Shel." He says resting his hand on my knee. "It's eating you up. I can see it. Sam can see it."
"You're not ready." I say.
"How do you know that?" He asks. "Are you me?"
"You don't understand."
"Well, then help me understand!" He says raising his voice. I take a deep breath. Should I tell him now? I look at the playground and tears start to escape again. "Please, Shel. I hate seein' you all torn up about whatever this is. Don't worry about me. I'm a big boy. I can handle it." I shake my head. "Can you at least look at me?" Slowly I turn my head to look at him. I look in his eyes and I can't help but let out a sob. I bring my hands up to cover my mouth. "Hey, hey. It's okay, babe." He says softly. He pulls me to him and I bury my face in his shoulder. He rubs my back until I calm down and pull away from him.
"After we went our separate ways." I start. "I hung out at Bobby's for a while. I kept getting sick. He finally brought me to a doctor to get checked out." I take another breath. "They did some tests."
"And…?" He asks. Does he really not understand where this is going?
"And…the doctor told me I was pregnant."
"What? Is it mine?" Now he gets it. I shoot a glare his way.
"Of course it was yours." I shoot at him. "I'm not the one that was sleeping with everything that had boobs and a low IQ."
"Alright, I get it. So wait. Do I have a kid somewhere?" He asks. Concern on his face.
"Possibly, but not with me." I try to joke. Now he looks confused. "I miscarried, Dean." I say looking down at my lap. "I was about six months along when it happened. It was the worst thing that I've ever experienced in my life."
"I'm so sorry." I hear a shake in his voice. I look at him and I see his eyes look a little watery. "Who knew?"
"Well, Bobby, a couple hunters that knew my dad, and…John." I say.
"Dad knew?" He asked. "Why didn't he tell me?"
"I'm not really sure." I say, voice shaking. He stands from the bench and starts pacing. "Maybe he thought you weren't ready for family life."
"I would've been ready." He shoots back.
"No." I say bluntly. "I wasn't even ready, Dean." He turns to me. "And it sucks because I was just getting used to the idea of being a mom when everything went wrong." He kneels in front of me ad grabs my hands.
"Why didn't you tell me sooner?" He says softly. "You have my number. Why didn't you just call me?" I look into his eyes and I see sadness and pain.
"You had hurt me. I wasn't quite over that, yet." I whisper.
"But you were gonna keep it, weren't you?"
"Not it, Dean. He." His eyes go wide at my words. The tears just keep coming. "And yes. I was gonna keep 'im." I smile. "I was gonna name 'im John. He was such a big help when he wasn't on cases with you."
"Wait, when he left me to go on cases by himself he was helping you?" I nod in answer. He lays his head on my lap. "I don't know what to say."
"You don't have to say anything." I say as I work my fingers into his hair.
"I'm such an idiot." He says.
"Yes, but that's one of the reasons I love you so much." I say, not even thinking about it. He lifts his head to look at me.
"You love me?" He asks, his voice a bit shaky. "Even after everything I put you through?" A tear finally escapes his eye. I reach my right hand up and caress his cheek, wiping the tear away.
"Yes, I do." I smile at him through my own tears. He stands up in front of me and holds out a hand to me. I place my hand in his and he gently pulls me up and into a hug. I bury my face in his shoulder again.
"I love you too." He whispers I my ear. "It's gonna be hard for me to change, but I'll do it. For you, babe." I smile and hug him tighter. I never want this moment to end, but it must. We pull away and take a breath as I wipe the tears from my cheeks.
"I feel so much better." I laugh out.
"I bet you do." He says. "That's a lot to keep inside. I don't know how you kept it for so long." He pulls me back close, but rests his forehead on mine. I decide not to tell him about my dream. No need to get him all worked up again. He caresses my cheek and brings his lips to rest on mine. It's nothing crazy, just a soft kiss that all of our love for each other is poured into. I change my mind. This is the moment I really want to last forever. We pull away and he rests his forehead on mine again.
"So," I say, breathing heavy. "What happened with the Shtriga?" I ask, changing the subject.
"The kid agreed." He says, still holding me close. "And long story short, we got it."
"That's good." I say.
"Now, why don't we head back to the motel and get a few hours of sleep. Cuz we are outta here in the morning." He suggests. I laugh and nod in agreement. He releases me, but takes a hold of my hand as we walk back to the motel. We enter the room and Sam is already asleep in one of the beds. We quickly get ready for bed, and we lay in the same bed. I turn onto my right side and he pulls me back into his chest. I feel him Bury his face in my hair. "Good night, babe." He whispers to me.
"Night, handsome." I whisper back. We fall asleep quickly after that.
The next morning, Sam wakes us up. He doesn't ask us what happened between us last night, and I am so thankful for that. We get dressed and pack up all of our research materials. We head outside, and pack the bags in the trunk of the Impala.
"Hey, Joanna." Dean says to the woman who runs the motel. "How's Asher doing?" She looks like she's looking for something.
"Have you seen Michael?" She asks. Sam and I look up at her worried voice.
"Mom, mom." The boy calls out as he runs up to her.
"Hey." She says with a smile as she pulls him into a hug.
"How's Ash?" The kid asks his mom.
"Got some good news. Your brother's gonna fine." She answers.
"Really?" The kid asks in disbelief.
"Yeah. Really." Her smile doesn't leave her face. "No one can explain it. It's a miracle." I look to Sam and Dean with a smile. "They're going to keep him in overnight for observation and then he's coming home." She says turning to us.
"That's great." Dean says.
"How are all the other kids doing?" Sam asks.
"Good. Real good. A bunch of them should be checking out in a few days." Her smile grows. "Dr. Travis says the ward's going to be like a ghost town."
"Dr. Travis? What about Dr. Hydecker?" I ask her.
"Oh he wasn't in today. Must have been sick or something." She answers.
"Yeah. Yeah must have." Dean comments.
"So, did anything happen while I was gone?" She asks Michael. The kid glances our way.
"Nah, same old stuff." He lies to her.
"Ok. You can go see Ash." She says.
"Now?" He asks, excitedly.
"Only if you want to." She answers him. The kid looks at us again, and Dean nods to him. He bolts to the car.
"I, ah, I'd better get going before he hotwires the car and drives himself." She says with a huge smile. He sounds like someone else I know. I look at Dean and smile. The woman walks away and soon they drive off towards the hospital. We turn back to the trunk, and Dean closes it.
"It's too bad." Sam says.
"Oh, they'll be fine." Dean says as we all head to our respective doors.
"That's not what I meant." Sam says, resting his elbows on the roof of the car. "I meant Michael. He'll always know there are things out there in the dark. He'll never be the same, you know?" There's a long pause before Sam breaks it himself. "Sometimes I wish that..."
"What?" I ask him.
"I wish I could have that kinda innocence." Sam states. Another long pause ensues, but this time Dean breaks it.
"If it means anything," Dean starts. "Sometimes I wish you could too." With that, Dean opens the driver's side door and gets in. I follow his actions, and soon Sam does too. Dean starts the car and soon we're back on the road. Dean blasts some ACDC as I work my fingers through his hair as I lean forward in the back seat. He smiles at me in the rearview mirror, and Sam just shakes his head at us with a smile on his face.
A/N: Ahhhh! Emotions. I can't deal. What do you guys think? Did you like this chapter? I would love to read your reviews.