DamonSalvatorelover: Glad you enjoyed it! Hope you enjoy this next chapter!
"Look, there's a reason I don't do chemicals!" I laughed as Raven tried to show me the correct formula for the flares.
"No, come on, it's easy. Hold onto this while I get this heated." She was holding a pan over one of the fires in camp, passing me a plastic bucket filled with the chemicals she'd be using to make the flares go. I tried not to think about the fact that they would soon be very combustible. I wrapped my hands firmly around the top of the bucket. I will not drop this. I will not drop this. I will not- Someone pushed into me from behind and I stumbled. Raven dropped the pan she'd been heating into the fire and lunging towards me to keep me from dropping the bucket into the fire.
"Watch where the fuck you're going!" Raven yelled while flipping off the person that bumped into me.
"No," I tried telling her. "It was my fault, I'm a magnet for falling over." I joked. Raven's eyes turned to me. I could feel her studying me before she promptly burst into laughter. Wiping tears from her eyes, she slapped her knee and straightened up.
"Okay, so maybe you can't do that. But I'll show you how to crush the powder to make the smoke turn red." I nodded and stood, cradling my broken pride while Raven laughed again. "You got this, Monty?" She asked, while he rolled his eyes in a duh and set to work.
Clarke passed us, a scowl on her face. "Come on, you guys. We don't have time to joke around. We've only got a few hours before dark."
Raven rolled her eyes at me while I shot her a stop that look.
"You're no fun today." Raven commented while Clarke left us.
"She has a point." I told her, pulling my hair over my shoulder while Raven got things ready.
Raven stayed quiet, and I thought about asking about if she'd found out about Clarke and Finn. But, that was really none of my business, and I wasn't about to get involved in petty drama.
I gathered the supplies she asked me to while she continued some small talk. "So there's a rumor going around that you and Bellamy had a thing."
I snorted, although I could feel a blush creep up my cheeks. "And where'd you hear that?" I asked, not sure how to answer.
"Pretty sure it was Bellamy." Raven smirked while handing me a bowl to mix some powders in.
Seriously? I've been down here three hours. I had come here to start over, not dwell on any part of my past. "Well I'm pretty sure he suffered a blow to the head when he landed." I replied easily. "I'm not down here to participate in rumors and secret romances."
Raven seemed content with that answer, staying silent for a few moments. "Why are you down here?" She suddenly asked, passing me some type of rock to grind. "I don't think you ever told me, and I spilled my guts to you a long time ago." I pursed my lips, she had told me about the boy who saved her, and how she would do anything to be with him again.
I shrugged, knowing exactly why I had forced Abby to let me come, but unwilling to share it. "I have a lot of people down here that I care about. I want to protect them." I told her, trying to stay busy with the work.
She regarded me with furrowed brows. "I don't know if I believe that." She told me, setting a hand on either side of the bowl to check the consistency.
"Well that's all you're getting." I told her firmly. She grinned up at me.
"Come on, we've got a flare to assemble." I grinned back at her, grabbing the few bowls of colored powder to follow her out.
A few hours later, and we were watching the flares being lit. The sparks they emitted were an almost purple color, and when they shot up cheers arose from the crowd behind me. I stood off to the side, my gaze fixed on them. Would the Ark be able to see it from up there? And if they could, would they stop the Culling in time? The flares might be our only hope at communication with the Ark. If the radio wasn't salvageable, what would we do next? Search for a new one? Would we give up, leaving everyone on the Ark stuck?
Truthfully, I was down here because I'd had a lapse in judgement. My eyes fell to Bellamy, who was standing next to Clarke. When I evaluated Bellamy, he'd pleaded with me to save his sister. He'd asked me to do anything. But since I was evaluating him, they'd assigned the trainee under me to Octavia Blake. I could have no influence over her decision, just as she could have no influence over mine. I knew that Octavia was going to be floated, she'd be made an example to the rest of the Ark for breaking one of our most important rules. But Bellamy, on the other hand, I could plead that he'd been under the influence of his mother. And I did. I knew that as soon as he got the chance, he'd try to see her. I hoped that he would stay quiet and under the radar so that maybe, eventually, I could help him see her. When I'd heard that it was him who'd shot Chancellor Jaha, I knew eyes would be turned to me.
And since then, I'd been terrified. Would they Council choose to float me for a wrong decision? It was my fault he wasn't floated in the first place. Two years ago, my superior was floated because one of his clients had committed treason. They'd floated him for association. Because I was associated with Bellamy, I knew the Council would have me under close guard in case they decided to float me. And so I'd chosen to run. Under the guise of wanting to help these prisoners, I'd run from the consequences of my decisions.
"Got something on your mind, Doc?" Bellamy stood in front of me, and I realized I'd been staring at him while my thoughts wandered.
I shook my head, looking up to the sky. "Nothing, Bellamy." I answered, sparing him a glance. His hair was loose, the longer pieces falling onto his forehead, and he already looked tanner than he'd been on the Ark. As much as I hated to admit it, I was still angry with him. All of this could have been avoided if he had just left the radio alone.
Bellamy remained in front of me. I thought of asking him why he'd been telling people we'd had a thing together. It was barely even a thing, honestly. "You're sunburnt." He commented, pointing his finger at my cheeks. I smacked his hand away from my face lightly and turned to find a place to sleep. I didn't think that it was actually sun burn.
Even as I walked away from the majority of the crowd, I could hear Bellamy right behind me.
"Do you need something?" I asked as nicely as I could manage. I'd been nursing a headache for the past few hours, and although I wanted to find a place to wash up, I wasn't willing to stand naked in the dark for any amount of time.
His hand grabbed my wrist and began leading me in a different direction, towards the drop ship they'd landed in. At the last minute he'd turned and lead me into arguably the largest tent.
When we were inside of it, I thought about walking right back out. I didn't know if this was some sort of a booty call, but I just wanted to sleep. Inside of me, though, my stomach fluttered at the thought of kissing Bellamy again. I'm not here for that, I reminded myself, crossing my arms over my chest.
He'd lit a few makeshift torches while I stood at the entrance awkwardly, unsure of what he'd brought me here for. There were several makeshift tables, a makeshift bed on the floor, with several homemade weapons scattered about.
"Here, you can wash your face and hands. He gestured to a bucket of clean water, passing me a damp rag. I twisted it in my hands uncertainly for a moment before he gestured more firmly to the water, and I decided to suck it up and wash my face.
He waited until I was washing my face to take his jacket off and recline on the bed.
"So why are you here?" He asked, and I didn't turn from my spot or answer. "Was it because you missed me?" He joked, and I could hear the grin in his voice. I rolled my eyes, not answering again. I heard a creak from the makeshift bed letting me know he'd stood up, and then the slow thud of his boots against the ground. "It's okay if you want to stay with me tonight." He whispered, and his hands came to rest on the top of my arms. I again, said nothing. It would be easy to just give in and sleep with him tonight. The thought was definitely appealing. One of his hands brushed the hair from my neck, and his lips quickly replaced his fingertips, ghosting down my exposed neck.
I closed my eyes and tilted my head back, both allowing him more access and letting me rest my head against his shoulder. His teeth grazed the skin and I let out a breath I'd been holding. The thought of sleeping with Bellamy flashed across my mind. The images of his hands gripping my hips and pulling me down onto him, me scratching his back and biting his neck, groans escaping from his mouth burned into my mind. Bellamy consumed my thoughts.
One of his hands slid from my shoulder to my waist, gently spinning me so that I was pressed against the makeshift table. He'd stopped kissing my neck and was staring straight into my eyes. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't absolutely tempted. The freckles across his nose and cheeks, the way the fire from the torches cast shadows across his face, the hand on my waist pressing me into his hips, all of it was sending signals to my brain to say yes, yes, yes.
And then I thought of the Ark. Was he hiding out in his tent because he was scared the Ark wouldn't see the flares and kill 300 people? Or was he just trying to get laid? While my body was telling me that a half hour with him wouldn't kill me, my brain was telling me that it wasn't a good idea. If it weren't for Bellamy, I'd still be up on the Ark. Would I be one the 300 possibly dying tonight? Just like that, the moment was ruined for me.
"I didn't come here for you." I breathlessly whispered, breaking the hold on my waist and walking towards the entrance of his tent. He said nothing as I turned back to look at him, his t shirt fitting him like it was made for him. He was the absolute picture of desire right now. It was tempting me to stalk back to him and thread my fingers through his hair, kissing him until I was out of breath, but I held my ground. If I wanted to be taken seriously here, I couldn't-wouldn't sleep with the dubbed leaders.
"I give you a week before you come crawling back, begging me to fuck you." Bellamy shot at me, and I could see the anger flash across his eyes. Flashes of the time I'd seen him after his mother was floated flooded my brain, and I resolved that I would not allow him to get under my skin.
I didn't say anything as I turned and walked out of the tent, now angrier than before. Please. Maybe the girls down here didn't have enough self control to not sleep with an attractive asshole, but I sure as hell did. I came here to get away from the decision of letting Bellamy live, and now I'd be forced to look at him everyday as a mistake I'd made, taunting me. It was like having my insecurities and cowardice shown off in front of me.
Dread seeped through me at the realization that I had some emotional issues to work through.
The tired that had been edging in since we'd gotten back to camp had diminished. I walked aimlessly through the crowd, wanting to find somewhere to relax, when I felt a hand curl around my wrist. I turned to see Clarke, her eyes weary. I raised one side of my lips in a smile, and without saying anything she guided me through the maze of similar looking tents.
At last, she pulled me into one of the tents near the center, around one of the many fires. Her tent was small, maybe just big enough for one person, two if they were sharing a sleeping bag.
We sat at the opening of her tent and left it open to see out.
"How are you doing, Ellen?" Clarke asked me, twiddling with a piece of grass.
I shrugged, not wanting to be a burden. On the inside, I felt tightly wound up, anxious about so many things. It was no doubt that by now the Council would have realized I'd been missing, if they hadn't realized it instantly. Would they think of me as a coward? Or maybe they wouldn't connect that I'd left because I had been wrong about Bellamy. Maybe they believed I just genuinely cared about the people they'd sent down to Earth, and wanted to be here to protect them. Not only that, but now that me and Raven had made it down to Earth, did I feel at blame for the radio going missing in the first place? I had woken up first. I could clearly remember the automatic message of Abby's voice playing as I struggled out of my restraints. I should have just picked it up then. I felt partially to blame because I could have definitely saved those people, if only I'd concentrated harder. I should have woken up when Bellamy took it from our ship. I wouldn't be worried over the 300 people possibly dying tonight if only I had focused on answering the radio.
I looked up at Clarke, who had been waiting for my answer, clearly reading the anguish in my features as I thought on what to say. "I'm just anxious." I finally told her, knowing that if I had been looking on this from the outside, I would have told myself that it was easier to share burdens than to harbor them yourself. Clarkes shoulders sunk down at my answer.
"I understand how you feel." She replied, her voice thick with emotional pain. I set my hand on top of hers, giving it a quick squeeze in support.
"Can I ask you something?" I asked, looking up at the sky for any sign of the Culling. She nodded without looking at me, and I grabbed my own piece of grass to occupy my hands. "What happened down here? I mean, from the start?"
She sucked in a deep breath, taking a moment to gather her words.
"When we first got here, it was absolute chaos." She confessed, barely glancing up at me. "Bellamy was convincing everyone we can do whatever the hell we want, and no one wanted to go to Mount Weather for supplies." I nodded, watching Clarke's face as she told me what had happened. She told me how she'd managed to get a group of people to go to Mount Weather, how Octavia had been bitten by some giant snake, how Jasper had been speared by the Grounders and they'd had to go back and rescue him. She told me about the little girl, Charlotte, that killed Wells because Bellamy had told her to slay her demons, and how they'd strung John Murphy up when they found his knife near Wells' severed fingers. Clarke's eyes had filled with unshed tears and I'd held her against my chest as she cried for probably the first time since she got to Earth. When she finally managed to gather herself back up, I'd braided her hair for her. She told me how Murphy had gathered a man hunt for Charlotte and they'd been trying to keep him from killing her, only for her to jump off a cliff to stop everyone from getting hurt. That night, which had been just last night, they had outlined the rules for each other, finally providing some stability for everyone. "And then you guys came down." She finished, turning back to face me. I felt sick to my stomach, honestly. They'd been through so much in just the past few days. My struggles on the Ark seemed so insignificant compared to what they'd been going through. I felt selfish for coming to Earth to escape punishment. "You're easy to talk to." Clarke told me, and turned back up to look at the sky.
"That's why I'm Head Counselor." I grinned, knowing that was why I was good for the job.
"Can I tell you something?" She asked, and I nodded, plucking apart the piece of grass I'd been playing with. "Wells told me that he wasn't the one who told Jaha about my dad. He was just letting me believe that to protect me from hating my mother." She paused, running her finger along the lining of the tent. "It's my mother's fault that my dad is dead."
Although surprised, I kept my face impassive. I knew Abby would have some reason for why she did what she did, but I didn't know why. I'd also known that Jake Griffin had been floated for treason, and that was why Clarke was in the Sky Box, but I hadn't known the specifics of her arrest. That was exactly when I'd begun as Head Counselor. Jake Griffin was the reason my superior was floated.
Still, I knew Clarke shouldn't be angry with something her mother had done to try and protect them. "You know," I finally began glancing up at the sky to once again check for any sign of the Culling. "What Raven said was true, it's because of your mom that we got down here." I told Clarke. She looked from the sky to me, wanting a further explanation. "She believed that everyone was taking off their bracelets, instead of dying. She wanted to save the rest of the Ark." Clarke had a small smile on her face, looking towards the embers of the fire we were sitting in front of. "Even if the flares don't work, it's only a matter of time before we get the radio working, and soon after, the rest of the Ark will come down. And that's because of your mom." I squeezed Clarke's knee.
"But still, I just don't understand how she could betray my father like that. She let me hate my best friend for years. Isn't that selfish?" Clarke pleaded, needing confirmation.
I shrugged. "I can't answer for her reasoning, Clarke." Clarke sighed, obviously frustrated. "It's okay to be angry, but don't let your anger cloud your judgement." I tried, giving her leg another squeeze. She nodded, and we both looked up to the sky, enjoying the now comfortable silence.
I felt better now, knowing what had happened here on Earth. I knew we would still be overcome with trials on Earth, and I could only hope that I was as strong as the rest of the people here.
AN: That's a wrap for chapter 2! A bit shorter than the last chapter, but I've been working double the past few days. Review and follow! I appreciate all the feedback that I get.