"Ellen, Ellen!" I awoke to someone shaking me, and I opened my eyes see Octavia squatting over me. "You have to help."
I sat up, rubbing the sleep from my eyes as I tried to get out of the fuzziness of sleep. "What is it?" I mumbled, pulling my jacket on as I stood.
Octavia's hands were shaking as she hovered near me. "Bellamy, he-he went back and got the grounder, he's going to kill him, you have to-"
"Wait, slow down." I set my hands on her shoulders. She had tears in her eyes, and I took deep breaths with her to calm her down enough to tell me what was happening.
"My brother went to get the grounder, and he's going to torture him for information. But the grounder doesn't know anything! I don't even think he speaks English. Bell won't listen to me." She pleaded, pulling me through the campers and towards the ladder.
"Where is he now?" I asked firmly. My irritation was already growing.
"They're on the third floor, they have him chained up." I nodded, stepping onto the rungs of the ladder to climb up.
"Okay, okay. I'll go." I promised Octavia. "I won't let them do anything." I climbed the ladder quickly, pushing against the hatch. Thankfully, they weren't blocking it from opening. I waited until I had climbed off of the ladder to survey the room.
Hayes and Miller stood directly in front of me, blocking me from moving any further into the room. It was the top level of the drop ship, a small circular room that was only illuminated by the lamps placed around the room. The air was sticky with humidity and nerves, sweat already building on my forehead.
"Bellamy." I called out, my irritation obvious. "A word?" I asked, looking past Miller to see the Grounder awake and chained across the room. He watched me closely, his eyes not leaving me when I took a step in that direction. He had tan skin, with what looked like charcoal smudged across his face. Miller immediately put a hand on my shoulder and tried to pull me back, but I brushed it off and turned to Bellamy, who was standing near the Grounder.
"What, did my sister fetch you?" He asked with annoyance. I stalked past Miller and Hayes, coming to stand directly in front of Bellamy.
"What the fuck is this?" I spat out as quietly as I could, gesturing to the Grounder. "He was fine chained up in his own house. You didn't have to drag him here."
"I am protecting this camp. I did this for all of us." He got to my level, practically hissing at me.
"This is not protecting camp! This is starting a war!" I pushed him a bit away from me, exasperated.
"We are already in a war, Eleanor." I glared at Bellamy, taking a step closer to the Grounder.
"That was not a war. That was us invading their space. This is an act of war. You kidnapped this man to what? Torture him for information? He might not even speak English!" Bellamy yanked me away from the Grounder, pushing me back towards Miller and Hayes.
"He's been keeping a tally of how many of us have died. You want to pretend it's a coincidence? I'm going to do what I have to do to keep us alive." I scoffed at Bellamy, crossing my arms.
It was obvious in the way he insisted he was doing this for camp that he truly believed this was the right answer. I looked between the Grounder and Bellamy, my heart aching at the lack of judgement. Steeling myself, I looked Bellamy in the eyes. "This is not the way to do it." I told him, turning back to face the grounder. I saw Bellamy nod to Hayes and Miller, and I spun to face them myself. "You touch me and your pride won't be the only thing broken." I threatened before turning back to Bellamy. "I'm staying. You are not touching this man." I threatened, before coming to stand in front of the guy locked up.
None of them protested, but I could feel Bellamy's glare. I grabbed a water bottle and ripped off a piece of my shirt, wetting it and walking closer to the grounder.
"I'm sorry." I whispered to him, hoping that he could understand. He struggled against his chains when I got closer, and I held up both of my hands. "I'll be careful." I whispered, although on the inside I was shaking in my boots. I couldn't even sleep for a few hours and Bellamy goes off and does something stupid.
I dabbed at the grounder's top lip, trying to clean the blood off without brushing his probably broken nose. When I'd decided he was clean enough, I tilted the water bottle towards his mouth.
"It's just water." I promised, taking a sip from the bottle to show him it was safe to drink. He didn't say anything, but when I pressed the bottle to his lips, he drank from it without protest. When he'd decided he had enough, I turned around, crossing my arms and glaring at Bellamy, who was leaning against the wall across from me, glaring right back.
I refused to move from my spot in case any of them were thinking of grabbing me and throwing me down the ladder. Even when Clarke came up, I stood my ground, observing from a distance at what Bellamy showed her. When Raven yelled up that Finn was seizing, I'd taken a step forward, but as soon as Bellamy straightened up, I'd taken my step right back, unwilling to even give them the chance to get closer to him.
I don't care what Bellamy and his minions thought of me, or how they believed this grounder was responsible for the attacks, he was still a human being. Miller had slid a piece of metal over the hatch after Clarke went down to prevent anyone else from coming up, and Bellamy had come to stand in front of me, challenging me to move. He didn't touch me however, and I stood as tall as I could in front of the grounder.
There was a pounding on the hatch door, and I jumped slightly, but Bellamy turned around and gestured for Miller to move the metal when Clarke called for it to open up.
She wasted no time in stalking over to the grounder, holding the knife that had been in Finn in front of his face, over my shoulder. I set my hands firmly on her shoulders, keeping her from going too close.
"What's on this?" She demanded.
"What are you talking about?" Bellamy asked, looking between the knife and the grounder.
"He poisoned the blade!" She accused, pushing me aside. "All this time, you knew Finn was gonna die no matter what we did." I stood off to the side now, conflicted. Had he really known? He couldn't have warned us? "What is it!?" Clarke screamed, now in the grounders face and unobstructed by me. I saw Octavia had climbed through the hatch and was standing at the back of the room, unnoticed. "Is there an antidote?" Clarke pleaded, taking a step back.
"Clarke, he doesn't understand you." Octavia interrupted, stepping forward.
"Vials." Bellamy suddenly realized, running to grab the small pack they'd found in the grounder's bag. "It's gotta be here."
They gathered the vials in front of the grounder, pleading with him to show which one was the antidote.
When he gave no reaction, Bellamy stalked forward, and I froze in place as I realized what was going to happen. Octavia grabbed onto his arm, pulling him back, begging him not to do anything.
"Clarke, you even said this was not who we are!" Octavia pleaded, looking back at me also. "He was protecting me, he saved my life!" She yelled, gesturing to the grounder.
"We're talking about Finn's life!" Bellamy yelled back. Things grew quiet for a moment, and I looked at Bellamy in disbelief.
"Do it." Clarke muttered. Octavia's mouth dropped open, and I looked at the grounder as Octavia ran forward.
"Just tell us!" She pleaded with the grounder. My jaw had dropped open at Clarke's consent, and I let my arms fall to my side when Hayes grabbed onto Octavia and yanked her back. I jumped back in the way of the grounder.
"This is not the way!" I yelled at them, backing up until my back brushed against the grounder. Bellamy had walked to the back of the room, using a knife to cut a seatbelt. Miller began stalking towards me, but I held my hands up in front of me, pleading for him not to move me.
"Let me talk to him!" I spun and looked at the grounder, setting both hands on his shoulders although I knew it was probably useless. "Please. We just want to save our friend." I begged. "I don't want them to hurt you but we need your help." I asked, desperate. A hand grabbed my arm, trying to tug me away. I threw my arm in a circle, forcing them to let go. When I realized the grounder wasn't going to talk, I turned to see Bellamy standing behind me. "This is a human being, Bellamy." I pleaded, not understanding why he wasn't getting what I was saying. "Don't stoop down to their level." I set a hand on Bellamy's hand, begging him to stop.
"We're running out of time." Is all he said.
"No!" I cried out, trying to push him back. He easily resisted, and I tried to grab his hands to keep him from doing anything. "Bellamy, if you're doing this for redemption, don't. I forgive you okay? You don't have to do this!" I whispered, setting a hand on his cheek. He said nothing, only stared down at me with cold eyes. "Please, I can't forgive you if you go through with this." I pleaded, pulling at his shirt. "You are not a torturer, Bellamy." I tried, and for a moment he almost seemed to be listening to me. "He is a person, just like you and me." Silence filled the room, and I saw his eyes go back to cold, and I knew my words weren't changing his mind. "If you want to hurt him you have to go through me." I warned, backing up again to the grounder. Bellamy strode forward, and I pushed back at him, but he just grabbed the lapels of my jacket, throwing me to the side. I stumbled and my head hit one of the support beams in the room. I tried to stand back up, but everything was spinning and then my sight went black, rendering me unconscious.
I awoke to my head pounding once again. I was rapidly growing tired of the constant headaches. I peeked an eye open, unsure of where I was. To my surprise, I was no longer on the third floor of the drop ship. Instead, I was on the first floor. Raven was curled into a ball beside me, on what I guessed was a makeshift bed. Over her, I could see Clarke hunched over Finn. She wasn't crying, so I took it as a sign that he wasn't dead. Did that mean they'd gotten the antidote?
Bile grew in my throat, and before I could stop myself, I was heaving over the edge of the bed, right onto the ground. Clarke was instantly by my side, pulling my hair back away from my face.
"Hey, hey. It's okay." She murmured, gently pushing me back to laying down when I'd stopped throwing up. "You've got a concussion, but it doesn't seem to be too serious." She told me, pressing a damp cloth to my forehead. It was cool against my skin, but I swatted her hand away and sat up. She passed me a cup, and I quickly drank some, wanting the taste of bile out of my mouth.
"What happened?" I asked, patting the space beside me. I was angry at Clarke, yes. She had given Bellamy the okay to torture the grounder. But it wasn't her who tossed me to the side like a rag doll.
She sighed and sat down, taking the water bottle back from me. "We got what we needed." I scoffed and threw my legs over the edge of the bed. If she wasn't going to tell me what happened, I would find out for myself.
"El, that isn't the best idea-" Clarke began, but was cut off by the sound of rustling from Finn. Immediately she jumped up to check on him, and I stood to my feet, bracing myself against the wall when everything started spinning. After a moment, it stopped, and I carefully crossed the room to the ladder, gripping tightly to each rung to ensure that in case another bout of dizziness hit, I wouldn't let go.
I made it to the third floor without problems, and was surprised to see the hatch open. When I pulled myself up and over, a tan hand reached over to help me steady myself. Expecting Bellamy, I was surprised to see Miller guarding the grounder. At least that meant he was still alive.
I surveyed the room, and Octavia was tending to the grounder's injuries, who definitely looked worse than before. I glared at Miller, associating him with what had happened, and grabbed the chair opposite him and dragged it towards Octavia, needing to sit but wanting to stay near her.
At this point, it felt like the only one who had any humanity left in them was Octavia. She glanced over at the sound of dragging, shooting me a grim smile before turning back to the grounder. After a minute of silence, I leaned forward.
"What happened?" I asked, hoping that she'd provide me with an accurate depiction.
"Well, after Bell knocked you out cold, they dragged you downstairs. My brother started hitting our prisoner with a seatbelt, and when he didn't give it up, he stabbed him in the hand with a screw. And then Raven got the idea to electrocute him." I gasped at that, shocked that I'd been unable to convince anyone to keep from torturing the poor guy. "And then I sliced my arm with the poison, and he gave it up." My eyebrows furrowed, and Octavia turned over her shoulder to look at me, and I saw the makeshift bandage wrapped around her forearm. "So all that torturing they did was useless. They can't even justify it with saving Finn." She scoffed and turned back to the grounder, patting at the wound in his hand. "That was me." She practically spat out. I hung my head in shame, feeling terrible for everything my people had done to this poor man. At the same time though, I was shocked to learn he had feelings for Octavia. At least enough feelings for her that he'd chosen to save her life instead of letting her die along with Finn.
"Octavia, you know your brother doesn't want you up here." Miller called out, beckoning her over. She glanced at him, looking at the worn down grounder. I stood up, walking over to her.
"I'll take over." I promised, and she let go of the rag in my hand, giving me one last weak smile before turning and following Miller down the ladder.
I turned back to the grounder, faced with just how terrible he looked. In short, he looked how I felt. He watched my movements, and I was as gentle as I could be.
"I'm sorry for what my people did to you." I whispered, dabbing around the wound on his hand. "They're not cruel people." I assured him, although I wasn't even sure that he understood. "They're just scared." Clarke had been smart enough to bring up an arsenal of medical supplies, which Octavia hadn't touched. I knew basic first aid, having practiced it several times on rowdy little kids back when I'd been a teacher on the Ark. "I figure you're probably scared, too." I glanced up from wrapping his hand to see he was watching me, the studying look on his face. "I am." I offered, looking back at the wound. "I ran from home for a stupid reason." I confessed, hoping that he might not understand me. "And then I walk into this shit hole." I chuckled a bit at myself, tucking the edge of the bandage into itself so that it would stay put. "I honestly can't decide if it's worse up there or down here." I squeezed out the rag in the water, moving to his reopened wounds on his face. "Up there, I didn't have to worry about someone running off and capturing another person to torture." He winced when I pressed a little too hard at one, and I hastily apologized, jerking my hand back. "Sorry for unloading all my deep, dark secrets on you." I resumed patting gently at his forehead, trying to clean the dried blood. "I know you probably don't understand me, but I think it's better to talk while working." I finished cleaning his face, and began inspecting the bruises that dotted his chest, running my finger over the welts. It hurt my heart knowing that Bellamy had caused it. Part of his ribs were bruising, and when I ran my finger over it, he winced. "Well, I'm pretty sure you've got at least once broken rib. But the good news is that it doesn't look like there's any internal bleeding." I said mostly to myself now. "I won't let them hurt you anymore." I promised as I moved on from his front to his back, only partially surprised to see dried blood covering the back of his shoulder. Sighing, I grabbed the bloody rag from the water and set to work trying to determine if there were any cuts on his back or if it was just dried blood.
A few minutes later and I'd cleaned all the wounds I could see, giving him more water. Someone had set a plate of smashed berries on a table, and I even got him to take a few bites before the sound of the hatch opening startled both of us. I set the plate down and stood in front of him, already feeling anger growing in me at the thought of anyone trying to hurt him again.
"El?" Bellamy called out, turning to look around at me. How dare he just come up here, acting like everything was peachy. He stood to his full height, and I crossed my arms to keep myself from throwing something at him. "Clarke told me you were awake." Traitor. I thought, my eyes narrowing.
"What? Come to knock me out again?" I asked sarcastically. He pursed his lips, taking what I threw at him. "Once wasn't enough?" I asked incredulously, dropping my hands to my sides. "What else wasn't enough? Torturing?" I scoffed and looked at the wall, wanting to hit Bellamy with how angry I was. He didn't say anything, and I glanced at him. He had his hands on the back of the chair, just taking what I was throwing at him. I knew that although he wasn't looking at me, he was listening. I knew because I had been in that position. Letting people throw all their anger at you until you wear yourself down enough for reason. At the pause in my yelling, he looked up at me, and I shook my head and looked back to the wall, when I spotted a lone seatbelt on the floor. Anger rose in me once again, and I stalked to it, scooping it up in my hands quickly.
"You want to keep torturing someone?" I whispered harshly at Bellamy, striding through the room to him. When I was just in front of him, I shoved the chair he'd been leaning on to the side, pushing the seatbelt into his hands.
"El, stop." He pleaded, looking up at the ceiling.
"No, you don't get to call me that." I threatened, shoving him back. "Hit me." I dared, pushing him again.
"I'm not going to hit you." He tried to drop the seatbelt, but I pushed it into his hands again. I smacked his chest, yelling for him to hit me again.
He dropped the seatbelt suddenly, surprising me by pinning my arms to my side. "I am not going to hit you." He whispered while bent down to my face. I shrugged his arms off, taking a step back.
"You're not going to hit me because you know it's wrong." I told him, raising a finger as if I was scolding a child. He looked away from me again, either in embarrassment or because he didn't want to listen. "The next time you think this-" I gestured to the seatbelt, and then at the grounder. "Is the answer." I paused, taking a step in front of him, looking up at him as though I was going to kiss him. "Remember this. Remember me, standing in front of you begging you not to." I turned and walked away from Bellamy, back to the grounder. I crossed one hand over my arm, the other forming a fist and pressing to my lips, willing myself to stop the burning of tears in my eyes.
"I made the wrong choice." Bellamy pleaded, and I heard him walking towards me slowly. I turned to look at him, my arms still in the same place. When he said nothing else I gestured for him to go on. He sighed, looking up at the ceiling. "I'm sorry I knocked you out."
"And?"
"And what?" I gestured to the grounder behind me, and Bellamy scoffed. "I am not apologizing to him!" I fixed Bellamy with a glare, and he sighed, looking up at the ceiling. "I'm sorry I tortured you." He said as insincerely as was possible, but at least it was a start.
I looked to the grounder, and for a second I could swear that I saw the hint of a smile cross his face, if only for just a second. Ignoring it, I turned to Bellamy, who was now by my side.
"Does this mean I'm forgiven?" He asked with a hopeful grin.
"Absolutely not." I replied, taking a step back. "I told you if you went through with this I couldn't forgive you. And I won't." His face fell, but I steeled myself. He deserved this. "In fact, you disgust me right now." I told him honestly, backing towards the hatch. "I don't think I'll ever be able to look past this." I lied. I desperately wanted to forgive him, if only because right now he looked like a sad puppy I'd kicked while he was down. I turned without another word, climbing down the ladder and shutting the hatch behind me. I wasn't even to the bottom of the second floor when the sound of something clattering across the floor was heard above me. I glanced up, thinking back to the first time Bellamy and I had kissed, back on the Ark, before I continued down, ready to move on from this and find some work to do.