Since I lack a Shadow to snuggle, I'm going to hug my Silver (which was a birthday gift from the boyfriend). So in previous chapters I did mention that I had no idea what they'd be doing with Shadow's character in Sonic Boom, but – thanks to the review section – I saw the 1 episode of Boom that he's in and I think I know what they're trying to accomplish with him.

Seeing how Boom is more of a sitcom compared to other Sonic cartoons (namely Sonic X and Sonic Sat AM which were both action oriented) and seeing the tone of Boom in general being treated like a joke itself even in the games; Sonic Boom the show is basically just sort of a parody of everything Sonic from it's characters to the fandom to what Sonic Team has actually been doing with the characters for the past few years. Eggman's also acting as more of an audience surrogate – he's probably one of the greatest parts of Boom (and hey, it's nice hearing Mike Pollack's voice). When Shadow comes in the picture the first thing Eggman says about him is that "he's the second most popular character in the entire canon" and "he's so cool and edgy". So it seems like Shadow was just sort of dragged into the show for the purposes of pleasing the fans who love him and also for the sake of a joke – which is disappointing to me personally but ultimately Boom is a different continuity and they haven't switched out Modern Sonic for Boom Sonic entirely... Though I doubt any of the games with the Modern cast would want to do anything with Shadow (and Silver for that matter) ever again...

...

So why spend the opening author's notes going on about an emo hedgehog?

It's because... things are about to get edgy (and hammy as all hell)...

Last time was all romantical corn, this chapter is all evil ham (maybe some corn too), self aware humor and poking fun of Shadow's current lot in his life in Boom... Poor Shadow needs a hug...

...

(EDIT: 12/22/17: If you're reading this, you might notice some nice additions to the chapter thanks in part to mass-editing. Enjoy the fic.)

Sonic walked Amy back to her place in this deafening silence that both had agreed upon non-verbally. He knew he screwed up. Things were going so well and they could've been happy together, taken things further, maybe had a few "urchins" as Amy called them and settled down to have quiet, humdrum but decent lives...

He cursed himself for screwing everything up. He enjoyed being with Amy. He thought back about how she managed to get him in the water without kicking and screaming, how he must've deafened her after squeaking so loud out of sheer happiness – even if part of that happiness was just because of hormonal changes caused by it being "the rut" with the days and nights being cozy and warm and suitable for breeding.

Amy was upset too, but more at herself than at Sonic. She was a female... She wanted things men didn't really understand or want nearly as much as a woman would. She loved Sonic enough as it is, a hero to her and his extra "cool" or "heroic" behavior didn't matter beyond that... But he'd made a point... Eggman was still a possible threat. Settling down, having "hoglets" as Sonic called them was nice but it might not have been the best idea... Not until Eggman could be taken out for good either through careful reform or...

And then she sensed something was horribly wrong, the door to her house wide open when she knew she closed it on the way out and smelling a scent that didn't belong to her, Sonic or ANY of her friends (not even Eggman or those two robot sidekicks of his).

"Amy, I know for a fact you closed that door."

"I know I did..." Amy ran up to her house, noticing that even her carefully crafted nest had been tampered with, with chunks of it seemingly being ripped apart and thrown out of the door and into the sand. She was FUMING, whipping out her hammer and rushing inside, looking around and scanning the room for anything else that was out of place with Sonic following behind her out of concern as his worst fears were being realized...

No one messed with Amy... He wouldn't allow it...

There was a curtain rod in the living room that fell out of place with the curtains now on the floor, chewed up at the ends. The coffee table that was once buried under grass was surfacing and it was scratched up as though attacked by a wild animal. The pillows weren't even safe, with their stuffing being ripped out and thrown all over the place, even finding tufts of cotton stuffing in the bathtub.

And worst of all the kitchen was not a mess when she left... Nor was there a black hedgehog anywhere NEAR her home let alone in HER kitchen, eating HER food and... OH FOR THE LOVE OF CHAOS, HE GOT INTO HER ROSEWATER!

Needless to say Sonic was just as pissed off but more concerned for Amy more than his own safety. This was the reason he couldn't settle down with her... He was a target which would make her a target... And if they did have hoglets then they'd be targets as long as they lived...

And then there was Shadow – who seemed angry for the sake of being angry and showed no other emotions aside from disappointment, anger or boredum.

Getting defensive Sonic pushed Amy aside...

"This is how you make your big appearance Shadow? You just break into Amy's house out of no where for no reason? Didn't you say you were going to..." And Sonic tried doing the most emo sounding voice he could "'fight on my terms'" and he reverted back to his normal voice "next time you showed up?"

"Sonic, will you move aside?" Amy asked, hammer resting on her shoulder. "I can handle this..."

"I'm not going to move Amy, not until this creep explains himself."

"Pft... Pathetic..." That seemed to be Shadow's favorite word... "You don't have the guts to spread your genes, so why bother trying to protect the woman if you're just going to be a biological dead end anyway?"

"That's a lotta talk for someone who tries wooing women by OH... I don't know... BREAKING AND ENTERING?!"

"Are you really trying to challenge me?"

"As if I'm going to let anyone disrespect MY Amy!"

Of course Amy couldn't help but 'awww' at that statement.

"Face it Sonic: You have no real interest in passing on your genes so you should just step aside and let someone else take over." Shadow walked up to his blue rival, poking his chest. "Move over. You have no place here."

And then before he could even think of another monologue to spout Amy pushed Sonic aside and grabbed the black hedgehog by the tuft of white fur on his chest. "Well..." She said it in a cute tone with a flirtatious smile. "If you insist on fighting so much then I'm going to have to ask you take it out-SIDE!" And she threw him out of the front door.

And Sonic looked at the pink hedgehog in awe...

His animalistic instincts came up again "Okay, even you have to admit that was hot..."

And the sane part of his brain agreed. "Definitely hot. Scary... But not in a bad way, more of a sexy way." He involuntarily squeaked.

The instincts mocked him. "And you think it's just this side of your brain that has a dirty mind..."

And then he got gently pushed toward the front door with Amy's hammer.

"Hey, why are you kicking me out now?" He asked, now at the front door but not wanting to leave, gloved fingers just barely keeping hold of the door frame which kept him inside the actual house while Shadow lay in the dirt under a tree outside.

"Hurry up and help me either by staying out of the way or helping me kick his butt into next season!" The rage in her eyes was telling him to stay away and just let her take out all of her anger in whatever way she wanted. Getting out of the door way he parked himself on a conveniently placed rock, hands up where she could see them for his own safety. "Okay, I'll just let you do your thing and I'll back you up when it looks like you need help..."

"Good~" She smiled in a sort of cute but disturbing way that genuinely terrified him, making him try to repress the urge to snort or squeak too loudly because she might just want to rip all of his quills out or eat him alive...

Shadow, shaking his head to get back to his senses only smirked. "Not what I expected but this definitely makes the trip worth it. Now you can show him why he's unfit to give you urchins."

"It's ME who get to choose who gives me urchins you FOOL!" She swung at him, only for Shadow to teleport behind her and stroke her quills. But just as Sonic was about to spin-dash into him for getting so handsy Amy socked him in the stomach with the handle of her hammer, sending him back a few inches with his hand on his stomach.

"Heh. You're tough." Shadow said smugly. "That's a desirable trait."

"Seriously, why are you even here? I mean last time you showed up things didn't go well for you." Amy said, wondering herself why Shadow decided to stalk her of all people mating season be damned. "Plus aren't their other hedgehogs you can bother?"

"Not female ones..." Shadow shot a glare at Sonic. "Besides, all I wanted was to have some dinner without the blue one getting in my way."

"Oh really?"

"Yes, really."

"You expected to woo me with dinner while drunk off your ass on MY supply?!"

"Well, not originally... But if you still doubt me check the kitchen." Shadow instructed.

Amy sighed, face palming and just wanting to go back in time to keep enjoying her perfect day with Sonic. "Sonic, you keep an eye on this freak while I look over the damage." And she went inside, hoping she wouldn't need to remodel the entire house after this was all over with.

And once she was gone, Shadow scoffed. "Pathetic hedgehog. You can't even seal the deal."

"That's none of your business. I was having a perfectly normal day with Amy until you decided to show up! Like, are you brainwashed again?"

"Thankfully not. But clearly your instincts been driving you wild." Shadow smirked. "You can barely control yourself. As soon as I showed up you wanted to beat me up and claim the girl as your own, didn't you?"

"Well Amy IS mine! She doesn't belong to you! Amy likes heroes, not emo anti-heroes that are borderline villains! You don't even know what you're supposed to do in this CONTINUITY!"

"That matters not. But my revenge against you wouldn't be perfect without taking Amy away from you." Shadow smirked. "You don't deserve to spread your genes. You're far too afraid to even challenge the thought."

"SHUT UP!" Sonic spin-dashed at Shadow only for him to teleport and crash into the side of Amy's house, causing further damage. But he got up, wiping blood off the side of his mouth with his glove.

"Admit it. You know you're unable to do it..." Shadow walked up to his blue other, grabbing him by his little hipster neck scarf. "You just need to step aside and let someone else who can actually commit do it."

With this Sonic snapped, lunging at Shadow and trying to claw his eyes out only for the bastard to keep teleporting to safety a few feet away. After a few minutes of frustratingly trying to hunt him down he was about ready to give up when he finally paused, obviously preparing some sort of monologue. And before he could let out a single word Sonic lunged at him again, successfully knocking him down and a brawl ensued.

Amy on the other hand was inside the house, eating the steak that Shadow prepared... Turns out the guy was a pretty good cook and he wasn't lying about just wanting to woo her with food. All he needed was a nice steady job, maybe a nice apartment of his own, maybe a few hobbies other than being an anti-hero and he could've been a contender. She watched the brawl outside from the safety of her living room window while munching away at a failed attempt at a romantic dinner.

Shadow and Sonic were beating each other into the sand and dirt with the occasional quill and tuft of fur flying out. They were punching and kicking one another like children fighting over a new toy and whenever it seemed like one was gaining an upper hand, the other would topple them and beat them into the ground all over again fueled only by the desire to 1-up and humiliate each other what with survival of the fittest after all...

Then much to Sonic's dismay Shadow managed to bite his quills, making him scream in pain because the bastard's teeth were sharp.

But despite the pain he managed to let out a taunt – as per his style. "I didn't know you swung that way." And then he got bitten even harder. "You wanna make Sonadow a thing just like the fans, huh?!"

"Shut up." And he smashed Sonic's face into the sand, sitting on his back and biting his quills to cause him as much pain as possible – even managing to rip one out - fully aware that Amy was watching. Though he couldn't tell if she was impressed or not because she was eating something. He spit out the quill and seeing that Sonic was pounding on the sand to indicate he was suffocating he got off and pulled him out, holding him up by one large quill like a lame participation ribbon.

"Had enough? Ready to finally give up?"

But Sonic spit sand out onto Shadow's shoes. "Heroes never give up." He looked up at Shadow with a grin, thinking that Amy could never choose such a rotten hedgehog to give her hoglets and he spin-dashed into him, grabbed him and pummeled him to the ground, standing over him and wanting nothing more than to rip his quills and fur out until he looked more like a naked mole rat than a hedgehog.

"Don't you ever mess with Amy again. I swear I might risk turning into a werewolf if you pull this stunt again!" He said. "Wow, I can't believe the idea of turning into a werewolf just occurred to me..."

"Oh as if that experiment went so well the first time... And I wasn't even in that game!"

He stomped on Shadow's rib cage, only for him to grab his ankle and teleport him onto the roof, crashing through it and even making a crater in her floors which scared Amy – no longer calmly eating and observing. She gave the expected scream in fear and unpleasant surprise.

Now she was mad...

She was mad at both of these hedge-hoes for being so unnecessarily violent.

She wanted to treat them as violently as they treated one another, whipping out her hammer and slamming it's head against her hand while looking at the two of them with a murderous stare.

"Shadow... If you still have the power to reverse time, I suggest you use it to go back to a point before you destroyed my house..." She said coldly looking at the black and red hedgehog. "If not I'm going to stick this hammer up your-!"

Chapter 8 end

The only way I could cope with writing this chapter up is by thinking of every YA novel trope when it comes to romance. So in a way I suppose you could say Sonic and Shadow were fighting for Amy's love while also having that unnecessarily heavy tension between two male love interests pining after a Mary Sue YA protagonist. My default when it comes to YA romance nonsense is The Mortal Instruments series – just because I had read the first 2 books for middle school, I still have the 3 book set in my possession that I don't know what to do with. But yeah in that series you have all the romance tropes. You have the love interest featured on the cover who is a tsundere asshole that you know the main character is going to end up with, you have the childhood friend who ends up involved in the super natural and then you have a mysterious character who turns out to be her brother who she ends up in an unknowing incestuous relationship with. It's a very weird series and total fantasy kitchen sink.

But I digress...

Overall, I'm glad I got back into writing fanfiction. It's good discipline to write every day/every other day. And even though this chapter gave me a good chunk of writer's block I've been determined to get through it somehow in order to continue the story. A lot of my fanfic career used to involve abandoning stories due to writers block I didn't announce. I'd like to change that just because I am trying to be more professional when it comes to writing (ironically by starting with fanfic, har har).

Now to explain the pure evil ham levels.

So I know that Shadow isn't supposed to be a villain. I know he's meant to be more of an anti-hero. But his Boom iteration seems to be a parody of the older versions of Shadow and so I think they're trying to make him a villain for the sake of having a villain since Eggman isn't much of a threat. Sonic Boom in general sort of has the tone of being a parody of itself so while I wish they would do more with characters like Shadow and Silver that have A LOT of lost potential, they're just sort of going to become jokes if used more in Boom. So Shadow being played off as a villain was sort of falling in line with this fact that Boom has this tone about itself. And this fanfic is essentially what would happen if I wrote a Sonic Boom episode so it's trying to match the tone of the show. So because of that and the fact that the fanfic revolves around who gets to reproduce, Shadow is presented as a simultanious threat and implied hopeless romantic goof trying to woo a female member of his species with a nice steak dinner.

AND NOW TO THE TRIVIA!

While Shadow and Sonic are trying to kill each other Amy just sort of sits back and watches. That's because female hedgehogs tend to lose their interest in watching two males fight and won't actively participate to try breaking it up. They may not even be interested in either potential mate and just run off without acknowledging them. Granted Amy herself is a strong female character which is why I had her defend herself against Shadow (off of his game because Boom and hormones). She reacts that way at first because she's mad her nest was disturbed – another actual behavior observed in hedgehogs. But then for the remainder she's just sort of watching as things happen and having dinner and a show. So if she seemed like she was side-lined just because, it's because she's just acting in part based on mating habits of real female hedgehogs.

As for the tension between Sonic and Shadow... TO MY SURPRISE hedgehogs are not strictly heterosexual. Studies have shown that hedgehogs are promiscuous with both male and females and often have several different mates in a single season. The reason why I was so surprised was just because I've been subjected to so much cringe from this fandom by the hands of the boyfriend that I was surprised to learn hedgehogs were animals that mated with members of the same sex and it wasn't just a pairing thing for the fandom.

Granted I'm not a shipper of Sonic and Shadow, they look nice together design wise but I see no chemistry there other than a rivalry. So the weird YA novel tension between them is a bit of fanservice for any of you that do ship em, going based on the meta humor that Sonic Boom consistently dishes out and also because it's hilarious to see Sonic (who has a serious ship tease problem with Amy but denies it at every turn) and Shadow (an overall serious and dark character who doesn't seem to show much romantic interest in anyone) just lose their minds over a floofy pink hedgehog. In hindsight it's also funny because Sonadow gets mentioned in bonus material by the cast like in the 2017 Twitter takeover... Dammit Mike Pollock you managed to make me find Sonadow even funnier.

Specific terms:

"The Rut" - some breeders and caretakers of hedgehogs will call a specific time frame of the mating season "the rut" which starts around mid May or the beginning of June. It's when the nights are nice and warm.