I was helping break apart one of the larger branches that had fallen in camp when Octavia found me.
"Hey." She called out, and I broke apart from the small group to meet her at the foraging table, where I picked up a small pack of berries to eat.
Jasper and Monty smiled at us, and I raised my little handful as a greeting at them as we walked away. Octavia was just under my height, her long black hair contrasting her tan skin, but complimented with her blue eyes. She was, in my opinion, gorgeous.
"What's up?" I asked, popping a berry into my mouth. I offered her one, but she declined, leading us towards the wall.
Her hands dug into her pockets. "I just wanted to say thanks."
My eyebrows scrunched together, going through the events of the past few days. "For?" I asked, not sure what she was referring to.
"For trying to protect the grounder. And for cleaning his wounds." I pursed my lips and nodded, popping another berry into my mouth. I hadn't checked on him in the past few hours, and the thought that he was still strung up in the top level of the drop ship while I was relaxing out in the sun made me feel queasy.
"I didn't really protect him that well." I joked, stopping to lean against the wall. She grinned up at me, and I felt the edges of my mouth turn up in response. "But you're welcome."
It was quiet for a beat before Octavia spoke up. "Bellamy won't let me see him." I nodded, chewing for a moment before I replied.
"Can you really blame him?" I asked, swallowing what I'd been chewing. "I mean the last time he saw you with him, you slashed open your wrist." She laughed and nodded, holding up her wrapped arm.
"I just-he was just trying to save me. And this is what he gets." I nodded, pursing my lips and looking up to the sky. "At least they're not going to kill him."
I snorted and nodded, pushing back from the wall. "Now we just have to figure out how to get him out of here." I joked, leaving her standing there while I made my way back to the pile of branches.
The cold was really setting in now, and I pulled my jacket tighter around me while walking. I had only been down here 5 or 6 days, but in that time the chills that had only plagued early morning had begun staying longer throughout the day. Clarke and I had been trying to figure out a solution. At this rate, we would be dead in a month if we couldn't figure out how to survive against the winter.
"Hey, Ellen!" I looked over my shoulder to see Clarke. The first night after the torturing, she had sat with me inside a tent and told me about how she regretted letting Bellamy do it, and how she was so clouded in wanting to save Finn that she wasn't thinking clearly. We'd talked out our differences, and then she'd tried to get me to talk to Bellamy.
If he wanted to talk to me, that was fine. I'd been forced next to Bellamy a few times, especially when I was instructing to make footholds on the tallest tree just outside of camp, so that we could have a high looking point for keeping an eye out for grounders. I'd been as nice as I could be, even giving him one of my rations and my water when he sent everyone for lunch but didn't want to take a break himself.
"Are you ready to talk to your mom?" I grinned and practically threw the branch I'd been dragging down, jogging to the dropship while I thought of my conversation with the Council earlier in the week.
"Everyone can see me?" I whispered to Clarke, pulling the headset over my ears. She nodded, biting her lip and moving a few feet away to give me some privacy.
"Head Counselor Compton." Jaha greeted, the only one I could see on the little screen.
I swallowed my nerves, sitting up just a bit taller. "Chancellor Jaha." I replied, pulling my seat in and suddenly feeling like a child getting chastised.
His arms folded on the screen, and I tried to avoid looking like I was nervous. "I must say, when we found out you'd been on the escape pod, we were a bit surprised." I nodded, the nerves in my stomach churning.
"I'm sorry, Chancellor." I leaned forward on the table, my fingers laced together under my chin, and I only glanced up when I had to. The rest of the time, my eyes were glued to the corner of the table.
"Why is it that you decided to leave?" He asked, cutting right to the point. I sucked in a deep breath and looked straight at him, knowing that it was now or never.
"Well, you did float my superior for the same reason." I said lamely, not having thought of a more eloquent way of putting it. "I also felt that it was wrong to send a bunch of delinquents to the ground with no warning whatsoever, and felt that I'd be of more use down here than up there."
"Would you care to elaborate?" Jaha asked, and I suddenly felt embarrassed for my reasoning.
I swallowed and brought my hands down to my lap, twiddling my thumbs where they couldn't see it. I had to take responsibility for my actions, I reminded myself. "Head Counselor Freeman was floated for treason, the reason being that one of the people he had counseled had made a bad decision. The blame was on Freeman." I stuttered out. Jaha had a way of belittling your reasoning.
Jaha cleared his throat and leaned forward, his arms on the table. "Head Counselor Freeman was floated because he encouraged Jake Griffin to release classified information to the Ark." My eyes widened at the mention of Clarke's father.
"So," I was processing the information, suddenly it made more sense. "Freeman was floated for-" I glanced up at Clarke, who was looking over a map at the next table over. "It was his bad advice that got him floated. . ." I looked down at the ground. "Not because his client made a bad decision."
"We were withholding this information from everyone." Jaha told me, and I sat back in my chair. I came down here on a whim, not because there was actually any danger to me. I'd made the wrong choice, and now I looked like a coward.
I swallowed and straightened back up, wanting to appear more confident in my decision. "I still stand by my reasoning of coming down here to guide these children in making the right choices." Jaha did his "I know you're wrong but I'll go along with it" grin and leaned back, setting his hands on his legs.
"And how is that going?" He asked. I swallowed, thinking of the grounder trapped just two floors above me.
"We're working together to make the best choices." I told him firmly. "Down here it's not as black and white as it was up there." I tried, thinking of Clarke, Bellamy, and I talking about what to do with the grounder. I'd managed to convince them not to kill him, but letting him go meant he'd come back with more reinforcements, and that could be the end of our little camp.
Jaha cleared his throat, and I pursed my lips. "Council, if you would excuse me, there are some things I need to discuss with Head Counselor Compton." Jaha looked off the screen, and I could hear the scraping of chairs and footsteps. He shuffled some papers in front of him, and I watched as he sorted through them, before looking back up at me. "What do you make of Bellamy Blake?" I leaned back in my chair, thinking of how hard he was working to make up for everything he'd done.
"I think that he's trying to atone for a crime he isn't at blame for committing." I answered, leaning onto my elbows. "Chancellor, there's no way Bellamy shot you for no reason. Someone helped him." Jaha leaned onto the table, getting closer to the camera. "He won't tell me who it was, but there is someone on the ship that wants you dead."
He nodded, practically whispering. "I need you to find out who it was." I shrugged, leaning back in my chair.
"I can't just force him to tell me, Jaha." He slammed his fist down on the table and leaned back, obviously frustrated. "This is something you need to talk with him about."
"I would talk with him about it, if he would actually sit down with me." I nodded, bringing my hands under my chin in thought.
"It's hard to get someone to talk with you when it feels like you're walking to your sentencing." I told him, not looking at the camera. Jaha said nothing, and I glanced back up to see him rubbing his face. "If you could just promise that you're not going to punish him for a crime he was forced-"
"It is not that simple, Counselor Compton." He said with finality, and I shut my mouth. "I can't just allow him to walk free, we have laws-"
"I understand, Chancellor Jaha, but the laws down here are different-"
"He committed his crime on the Ark, therefore the rules of us apply-"
"But when you come down here, you will be on our turf-"
"ENOUGH!" He shouted, slamming his hands down on the table. I swallowed and sat back in the chair, realizing I may have gone a bit too far. "This is something that I will discuss with Bellamy." I nodded, and despite how angry he was, the little bit of hope that I had for saving Bellamy fluttered. He had left room for discussion, that was better than nothing. "Now, do you want me to schedule time with your mom?" I nodded, realizing that our conversation was coming to an end. And for that, I was grateful. At least I'd gotten it out of the way.
"Eleanor!" My mom sat in front of the little camera, a huge smile plastered on her face when I took my seat.
"Hi, Mom." I grinned, pressing a hand to the screen. Everyone always said I was the spitting image of my mother, which I was always proud of. My mother was beautiful. She had long, golden brown hair that she usually wore back in a braid, the lightest green eyes I'd ever seen, and a heart bigger than I could ever hope to have. She was one of the Ark's best teachers, the reason I'd gone into teaching in the first place, but it was also she who had inspired me to switch professions into Counseling.
"How are you, baby?" She asked, getting closer to look at me in the screen. "You look like you've had a rough few days." I grinned and wiped away a tear that had been gathering in my eye. "Oh, stop that crying, you'll make me cry!" She laughed, sitting back in her chair.
"I'm sorry, Mom!" I whined out, a sob escaping me. Mom immediately started sniffling, and I knew she hated seeing me upset. "I didn't mean to leave you, it was selfish and stupid and-"
"Oh honey, it's okay." She promised, reaching out like she was going to touch me. "Look at you. I am so proud." I nodded and wiped at my tears, my hands shaking. "You are on Earth!" She laughed, and I felt a gurgle of laughter bubble from my throat. "I'm going to be on the first drop ship!" She told me excitedly.
"Are you really?" I asked, excited at the thought of seeing my mom again. She nodded with enthusiasm, and I jumped up in the seat, a shriek of excitement escaping me. I could hear Mom's laughter, and I looked around the dropship to see everyone had only spared me a quick glance before going back to what they were doing. I had no doubt that they'd seen weirder stuff while parents and children reconnected.
"Tell me about it!" She laughed, setting her hand against the screen.
I laughed and wiped at my eyes again, words pouring from my mouth faster than I could stop, telling her about the trees that towered over us, the water that was so plentiful I'd taken multiple swims, and the food that we scavenged. I told her about the juicy meat we cooked for dinner, the ripe berries that burst with flavor in our mouths. I was telling her about the butterflies that glowed at night when we were interrupted by one of the guards informing that our time was up.
"I love you, baby girl." Mom told me, pressing her fingers to her lips before pressing them to the screen.
"I love you too, Mom." I copied her movements, standing from the chair and wiping at the tears that gathered in my eyes.
Clarke was suddenly at my side, passing me a rag and patting me on the shoulder, a smile on her face. I grinned back, feeling lighter than before. When I stepped outside the drop ship, everything seemed just a bit brighter. My mom was coming, and despite being anxious about the grounder and the possibility of war coming, I was excited.
"Have a good talk?" I turned to see Bellamy next to the fire, warming up his hands. I pursed my lips and nodded, stepping next to him. We'd talked a few times since our big fight, but I'd remained as civil as I could.
"You talked to Jaha yet?" He sighed and shook his head, looking back to the fire.
"Can I. . ." I looked at Bellamy, wondering what he was going to ask. "Can I just. . . Talk to you?" He stuttered out, not even looking up at me. I pursed my lips and nodded. Would this finally be the apology he had yet to give me?
He led me away from the center of camp, and I realized we were walking towards his tent.
"Bellamy." I grabbed his hand just before his tent. I knew that if we went inside, and he started kissing me, I wouldn't be able to stop myself. "Out here." I told him, although there was an edge to my voice.
He sighed and looked around, crossing his arms and looking anywhere besides me. "This is more of a private conversation." He pleaded, gesturing to his tent. I shook my head and crossed my own arms. He sighed and rubbed the back of his neck, looking towards the sky. It was a few seconds before he spoke again. "I just. . ." He struggled with his words, and for a second I almost felt bad for him. What was he trying to discuss? Jaha? The camp? Was he just embarrassed to apologize to me in front of other people? "I just wanted to say you're really good for the camp." I raised an eyebrow, not having expected a compliment.
"Bellamy Blake." I said with a grin. "What are you buttering me up for?" I asked, nudging him with my elbow. He grinned, and I realized that I had only seen him smile a few times since I met him. And honestly, it was something I'd be glad to see more of. His whole face lit up when he smiled.
"I just don't think anyone's told you thanks for coming down here." I smiled and nodded, thinking this might be the closest thing to a real apology I'd get for a while.
"It's definitely something I could hear more of." I joked. Bellamy smiled down at me again, and I was taken back by how serious this smile was. "Is there something else?" I asked, suddenly feeling suspicious. "What are you planning?" I asked, setting a hand on his elbow.
"N-nothing." He was obviously lying, and I took a step back.
"Bellamy, are you going to do something to the grounder?" I know we'd been on shaky ground, still unsure, but I was hoping that we'd at least decided we weren't going to kill him.
"No, no. Ellen, he's fine. I'm not doing anything." Bellamy assured me. I nodded, but the seed of doubt was already planted. "I promise, I'm not going to do anything." I bit my lip.
"You won't mind if I go check on him anyways?" I asked, Bellamy sighed and gestured to go to the dropship, following me.
When we climbed up the ladder, Octavia was sitting right next to the entrance to the third floor. Bellamy stopped to talk to her, while I continued up.
Miller was on guard again, but he only spared me a glance when I moved past him to the grounder. I'd visited at least twice a day, making sure he ate and drank and checking his wounds.
The grounder said nothing again as I greeted him, immediately moving to check his hand, the worst of the injuries.
"My mom is coming down." I told him absently, wanting to fill the quietness with some small talk. "I felt bad for leaving her up there, but I knew I'd be better down here." I told him, changing the bandages on his hand. "It doesn't look infected, but it will take a while to heal." He said nothing, and I'd grown to accept that he didn't reply. Sometimes, though, it almost felt like he could understand me. Especially when I made jokes about Bellamy being a huge dick. The corners of his mouth would twitch, but he'd never actually smile. I checked his ribs, running my hand along the indents.
"Jesus, are you into the grounder? No wonder you spend so much time up here." Miller called out. I turned and shot him a glare.
"What? Jealous?" I asked, knowing he had a boyfriend on the Ark.
"I'm not jealous of this trash." He spat, coming to stand near. "I wish Bellamy would just let me end this, once and for all." I pushed him back a few steps.
"Try anything and I'll put you in his place." I threatened. We stood toe to toe for a second before the creak of the hatch opening drew both of our attention. Clarke climbed up first, followed by Bellamy.
"Miller, you get a break. Come back in a few minutes." Bellamy ordered. Miller looked back at me, and I shot him a shrug, but he followed Bellamy's orders.
When the hatch had shut behind him, I reached for the water bottle we kept near the grounder, moving to give him water. He shook his head no, and I set it back on the ground, turning to face Bellamy and Clarke.
"We're going on a trip to look for an emergency aid center." Clarke told me. I crossed my arms, unsure why she was telling me.
"I don't want to go." I told her simply. Leaving the grounder without one of us being near, I would worry someone would try to murder him.
"We're not asking you to." Clarke told me, taking a step closer. "We want you to keep an eye on camp."
I nodded after a moment. "How long will you be gone?" I asked, not wanting to be left without help.
"We should be back by nightfall, it's just a few miles West." I nodded, there were only a few hours left in the day.
"Is that all?" Clarke nodded, and she reached forward to give me a hug. "Be careful." She waved goodbye, heading down the hatch, leaving me alone with Bellamy and the grounder.
"I'm worried Miller will try something." I confessed, turning back to the grounder.
"He won't." Bellamy promised, setting a hand on my shoulder to turn me back to him. "He may not act like it, but he listens to you." I sighed and nodded, having no choice but to believe him. "Hey." He put a finger under my chin, forcing me to look him in the eyes. "Be careful." I narrowed my eyes at him.
"You be careful." I told him, setting a hand on top of his. Things may be more strained between us, but I didn't want anything to happen to Bellamy while he was gone. He nodded, and suddenly he leaned forward, pressing our lips together. I stilled for a moment, shocked that he'd done it, before I pulled back, my eyebrows furrowed together.
"Bellamy. . ." I started, but he was already pulling back and walking towards the hatch.
"I know, I know." He started down the ladder, a cheeky grin on his face. I couldn't help the small smile that spread across my own, turning back to the grounder when Bellamy shut the hatch behind him.
"Boys." I muttered, reaching for the water again. I saw a grin flicker across his face before he was back to his normal stony eyed look, and I was sure I'd imagined it. I held up the water again, gesturing for him to drink it, but he tilted his chin away. I sighed, opening the water to take a sip, when I smelled urine. Someone had pissed in his water. I pursed my lips and nodded, realizing now why he hadn't wanted any. "I'll go get you some new water." I told him, heading back the way I'd come. I passed Octavia on the way down, tilting my chin towards the ceiling so she knew it was okay for her to go up there quickly.
Why had Bellamy kissed me? Was he trying to bribe me to sleep with him again? I had been fairly certain he'd slept with another girl two nights ago, winking at me when I caught him flirting. It hadn't bugged me though, as far as I was concerned he could do what he wanted. I'd made out a few times with Hayes, but I still wasn't comfortable with the fact that he was so much younger than me. Now that the Ark was going to start sending people down, my dating pool would be opening up once again.
"Ellen!" Monty and Jasper were waving at me from the foraging table. Jasper pointed at his open mouth, and then took aim towards me. I grinned and opened my mouth, cheering when the nut he threw made it into my mouth. Jasper and Monty cheered as I walked over to their table, stealing a few nuts to eat on my way back to the grounder.
"Going up to dote on the grounder?" Jasper asked with a smile, not in a mean way.
"Always." I smiled back, tossing another of the nuts in my mouth. "These are really good today." I commented, swiping another handful before leaving them.
After I'd taken clean water back up to the grounder, I went back to the tree we'd been working on our crow's nest, climbing all the way up. So far, the very top of it was just a few boards as a floor. It was sturdy, but we were going to put some rails around it so that no one would fall, along with a net of leaves across the front to hide it from being seen.
I sat on the edge, my legs dangling off, with the packet of nuts open in my lap and my water open. I'd grabbed one of the sets of binoculars before coming up, and I used them to survey the area around us.
It was mostly trees, and if I'd been scared of heights, I would have been intimidated, but I knew I wouldn't fall from up here.
I spotted movement to my left, and I fixed my gaze that way. Clarke and Bellamy were walking away from camp at a quick pace. I grinned and watched them for a second, wishing I could get their attention.
The spot in the trees was high enough that I was able to watch them for several minutes. It felt a bit creepy, watching them when they didn't know I was, but I felt better being able to see them walk away, even if it was only for the beginning of their journey.
When they finally disappeared from my sight, I looked around where they'd been, making sure no one was following them. When I saw a blur of dark color reach the top of the hill they'd disappeared behind, I'd nearly dropped the binocular in surprise. Readjusting it, I saw someone in our clothes following the same path Bellamy and Clarke had taken, far enough behind that they wouldn't hear him.
I knew that I needed to follow him, the way he wasn't trying to catch up to them to let them know he was there left a bad taste in my mouth.
I threw the rest of the nuts in my mouth, using my teeth to hold the binoculars while I swung my leg to reach the first foothold down.
A couple feet from the bottom, I reached my foot down for the foothold, but I couldn't feel it. Glancing down, the ground seemed to shrink away from me. Confused, I felt out with my foot again, and this time I felt it connect against something solid. Testing the weight, I continued on my way down, trying to ignore the spinning. After what felt like forever, I looked down to see how much farther I had to go. I was still so far from the bottom.
I have to get to Bellamy and Clarke. I reminded myself. When I looked back at the tree, the foothold I'd had my hands wrapped around seemed to stretch out, and my grip on it slipped.
For a second, it felt like I was floating, my hair whipping around above me. I didn't feel the impact of the ground under me, but I had the wind knocked out of me. I couldn't even feel my limbs, but I sat up, running in the direction I'd last seen Clarke and Bellamy at.