Author's Note: Its your boy, Loverboy Lance. I was worried this chapter might be a little preachy but I really wanted to discuss some LGBT issues.
The Paladins of Voltron had gathered in the Castle's kitchen. They were scavenging over the remnants of the feast that Hunk had prepared at Coran's request. Lance was stabbing at the meat idly with his spork. He and Allura were perched on the countertop, their slender legs dangling over the edge. Pidge was helping Hunk clear up the mountain of dirty pots and pans that were left in the wake of Hunk's cooking spree. Shiro was leaning against a wall, arms folded across his chest and a subtle smirk on his face.
Coran's plan had finally come together and the whole affair had left Lance feeling rather content. The Paladins had helped turn the Castle into his home away from home and Coran had been the biggest part of that. That's why Lance hadn't hesitated when Coran turned to him with his schemes. Lance felt like who owed him. Coran had done so much for the Blue Paladin and he wanted to pay him back for all of that.
The Blue Paladin thought he might have to give the older Altean some pointers on wooing women but was pleasantly surprised to see that Coran had his bases covered. Coran was definitely just as much of a lady's man as he was. Well, Lance knew he was more than just a lady's man. That was just one of the many things they'd talked about during their private therapy sessions. He'd been a little confused at first but it didn't take long for Lance to understand. It didn't change his opinion of the Castle's helmsman either.
Pidge cracked a rather raunchy joke and Allura nearly spit out her food laughing. God, she looked so beautiful when she smiled. Lance had always found her beautiful. She really was a knockout but Allura turned out to be so much more than that. She was ferocious, powerful, strong and determined. She was the total package.
He had no problem strutting around the universe making passes at cute alien girls but Allura was a whole other story. Yeah, he could wink at her and flash her his silver grin but the idea of actually telling her how deep his feelings ran was pretty scary. Lance hadn't had it this bad for a girl in quite a while. Not since they'd left Earth.
Hunk tried to stack the last of his dirty cookware rather precariously in the dish sanitizer. Lance's friend had to slam the door closed a few times before the sanitizer was finally secured. The device whirred as it turned on. They heard the soft hum of the ultra hot lasers as they burned off the food debris from the dishes. Hunk wiped off his hands on his already filthy apron.
"Does anybody else feel kinda weird that we just helped Coran get laid?" Hunk said.
Everyone let out a disgusted groan, even Lance. Shiro just grimaced and shook his head. Allura nearly choked on her food.
"Hunk, please, they're like another set of parents to me!" Allura said.
Lance was taken aback.
"You were the one who was the most excited for this whole thing!" Lance said. "And you're grossed out?"
Allura had gone into a fit of giggling when she was approached by Lance and Coran. The joy and excitement she'd had in her eyes made her seem to sparkle. Her nose was just wrinkled up in disgust now. She set her plate of half eaten food on the counter.
"I'm very happy that they've finally gotten together but that doesn't mean I enjoy imagining them-" Allura began.
Her face scrunched up in disgust.
"I don't like to think about them doing things," Allura said.
By the look on everyone's faces, Lance was pretty sure that nobody liked to think about that. Shiro especially seemed horrified by it all.
"If we could talk about anything else. Literally anything. That would be great," Shiro sighed.
Shiro ran his fingers through his tuft of white hair and shook his head. Pidge was pushing around some of the stray crumbs on the tabletop and had a coy look on her face.
"Well, I mean when we all volunteered for this we kind of knew what the results were gonna be," Pidge said.
Shiro threw his hands in the air and started to storm off.
"Nope. Nope, not doing this." Shiro said. "I'm going to the bridge and see if Keith's found anything about Lotor yet."
He couldn't seem to get out of the kitchen fast enough. Lance and Pidge snickered as the Black Paladin fled the scene. Hunk started to untie his apron. He tossed the stained clothing onto the table and took a seat across from Pidge. Allura seemed to have completely lost interest in her food after the turn the conversation had taken. Lance was still a bit surprised by her reaction after seeing how excited she'd gotten over all of this.
The night after they overcame the Terrapin challenge, it was all Allura could talk about. She'd been beaming over it. Allura had gone on and on about her childhood by the orange light of the fire. Lance had learned so much more about her that night. He'd been so hungry and desperate for every tidbit of information she could provide for him. Lance had always been fishing for information about her from Coran but he didn't want to be a creep about it so he never probed too much. But that night had been so magical. He'd learned so much and it had only made him fall even harder for her.
She'd whispered to him so excitedly under the cloak of night. She'd told him about the adventures she'd had with Nayni and how the bodyguard wasn't nearly as grumpy and hard as she appeared. Allura had told him that she'd noticed when she was very young the tension between Nayni and Coran. It hadn't been until Allura had gotten a little older that she realized just how deep those feelings ran. It gave Lance a whole new perspective on their situation.
What had stuck with Lance more was the fact that he'd gone all this time never knowing just how important this figure had been in Allura's life. She'd never mentioned Nayni. Allura had always been so focused on the future of the universe. She was so determined to set things right that she rarely spoke of the past.
Having her open up to him like this, it was crazy how good it felt. Pidge tossed a crumb at Hunk. It bounced off his forehead and he tossed one right back at her.
"Nanny just doesn't seem like she'd fit with him," Hunk said. "Ya know because she's all-"
Hunk mimicked Nayni's signature scowl and the rest of the Paladins erupted with laughter. Pidge leaned back in her seat and fiddled with her glasses.
"I still think she's pretty cool, even if she yells at us a lot," Pidge said.
Hunk snorted and shook his head.
"Nope, she still scares the crap out of me," Hunk said.
Lance had been off-put by Nayni at first. She wasn't exactly a delicate woman. Allura had been the only other Altean woman that Lance could compare her too though. Nayni was her polar opposite. Now he wasn't really sure what to think about her. She'd been really hard on him but after she pulled him aside in the hallway the other day he was just confused.
Nayni had encouraged him to talk to Allura. For someone who seemed to hate him so much it was weird that she'd give him that piece of advice. But Nayni seemed just as dedicated to Allura as he and Coran were. So he had to respect her for that. Allura tried to smother her giggles with her hand. She was always trying to be so prim and proper but Lance loved it when she let loose. His mind kept drifting back to how she looked splayed out on his bed after eating all that chocolate.
"She's not that scary!" Allura insisted. "Nanny is a giant softy."
A few days ago, Lance would've protested this but he didn't really feel like that was a farce anymore. He just shrugged and smiled coyly.
"Allura's right, she's definitely got a soft side," Lance said.
Hunk and Pidge were in complete shock. Pidge leaned over the table so she could get a better look at Lance.
"Are you kidding me!? She's literally threatened to kill you multiple times a day since she got here!" Pidge said.
This was true but the threats of violence had died down a bit lately. Lance shrugged.
"She gives good advice," Lance said.
He slightly regretted saying that as soon as the words left his mouth. He looked at Allura nervously. The Princess just stared at him with an inquisitive look. One of her slender silver brows was raised slightly.
"Advice about what?" Allura asked.
Lance wasn't going to have much trouble getting himself out of this. He was the master of slipping out of sticky situations.
"Ah, ya know, just about beating the crap out of people and how to pick up chicks," Lance said. "Nanny's been around the block a few times."
When he'd first used those idioms Allura had been so confused by them but she'd been around the Paladins enough now that she knew most of their slang. Lance had tried to learn more about the phrases from Altean culture but they all just seemed really awkward when they came out of his mouth. He wasn't even sure he used them properly. Hunk seemed to be more confused by Lance's statement than anything else.
"Wait, picking up chicks? But she's with Coran. Why would she know how to pick up chicks?" Hunk said.
Lance groaned. He'd been just as ignorant when he'd talked about this with Coran. There were plenty of gay people on Earth but Alteans just approached it all on a completely different level. They never needed to clarify things. They all just accepted it as is. At least that's what he'd gathered from what Coran had said.
Allura found the Yellow Paladin's confusion much more amusing. She leaned forward and had that tiny smile on her face. It was the same look she always made when she was about to explain something to any of them. She was so much more patient than Lance. That's why she was so good at making connections with people. With whole societies too. She was willing to take the time to bridge those cultural gaps. He'd give anything to bridge that gap between the two of them.
Even with his headphones on with relaxing music, Lance couldn't sleep tonight. That had been his crutch since all of this crazy shit had gone down and now it wasn't working. It had been insane enough to find a giant robot lion but being teleported across the universe and finding more robot lions that turned into a giant freaking robot? It was a bit much but it had really happened. And apparently the Castle wasn't actually a castle, it was a giant spaceship. They'd barely left Arus but even that seemed like it was a million years ago. His life had changed literally overnight.
Lance sat up in his bed and scratched the back of his head. All of these revelations hadn't really been what was holding him down. It was exciting to realize that the universe was filled with exotic alien races and that he'd become a part of something on such a monumental scale. But every time he'd gone to lay his head down at night, he was just bum rushed with memories of home.
He kept seeing the faces of his family, he could still taste and smell pizza, and he still had the halls of the Galaxy Garrison memorized. Would he even need to know those twists and turns anymore? Would he even see the beach or how his cute little niece giggled when she saw crabs scuttling across the sand? These were the things he was fighting for but he couldn't see them or hold them in his hands. They were so far away.
Lance put on his slippers. He didn't feel like lying in bed anymore and thinking about everything he missed. Maybe a walk around the Castle would clear his head. The hallway lights of the Castle were dimmed for the night. Actually, he wasn't even sure if it was nighttime. That didn't really matter in the middle of space. Lance shuffled down the hallway, his hands were stuffed in the pockets of his blue robe.
He sighed as he walked by Keith's quarters. Of course, he had to deal with that bastard in the middle of the intergalactic space apocalypse. Having his rival around definitely wasn't helping Lance adjust to the new situation. He found himself wandering to the bridge. He wasn't really sure where else he would go. He just wanted to walk around until he was exhausted enough to crawl back into bed.
Lance had expected to walk into an empty room and gaze out of the massive window at the twinkling stars but the bridge was occupied. The room was brightly lit and Coran was just standing there. He was staring out the window and stroking the end of his mustache. Lance wasn't the only one having trouble sleeping tonight apparently.
He was kind of glad that it was Coran that he'd run into. They didn't know each other very well yet but Coran had lent him an ear when he'd needed to vent in the past. Coran turned on his heel to face Lance. A genuine warm smile was on his face. Even Lance could tell that Coran was exhausted though. He could see it in the Altean's eyes.
"Ah Lance, what are you doing up and about at such a late varga?" Coran said.
Lance still couldn't get over the fact that Coran sounded like a random dude from New Zealand. He'd expected an alien to have some strange exotic accent not something so familiar. From the tone of Coran's voice, Lance didn't think there was anything wrong. Maybe the old man had a habit of staying up late and staring out windows. Alteans seemed weird enough that he'd believe it.
"Shouldn't you be asleep too?" Lance said.
He flopped down at his station. It was the only real comfortable spot to sit on the bridge. Lance lay back and let himself melt into the curved back of his chair. Coran looked back out to the spacescape. His head hung a little low.
"I'm afraid I've been having a bit of trouble sleeping as of late," Coran said.
Lance rested his hands behind his head and looked up at the canopy of the bridge. The nebula overhead was breathtaking but he was having a hard time appreciating it tonight.
"Yeah, same, man," Lance said. "I can't stop thinking about home."
Lance needed to talk about it. After his first chat with Coran, he'd felt like the burden got a little easier to bear. Coran just nodded slowly. He seemed to know what Lance was going to say before he'd even opened his mouth.
"I've been thinking a lot about the people of Altea," Coran said. "The ones I knew."
Lance had a hard time picturing a planet full of Alteans. All he had to go off of was Coran and Allura. The two of them looked so strikingly different that he couldn't imagine what all the others must've looked like.
"I keep seeing my mom's face when I close my eyes," Lance said. "My whole family, honestly. They have no idea where I am or what I'm doing. They're probably scared."
Lance used to feel like his mom smothered him. Now he missed her abundance of affection. She'd showered him with kisses when he'd gotten into the Galaxy Garrison. She was so proud of him even when he was just a stupid cargo pilot. He smiled when he thought about how she used to scold him in Spanish when he was just a little kid. Lance knew his disappearance was destroying her. His older brother had probably put on a brave face for her but he was probably crumbling apart too. They weren't the only people that were haunting the Blue Paladin though.
"It's so stupid but I keep thinking about these random people from my life too," Lance said. "Like the really moody cashier that used to sell me frozen yogurt or-"
He was thinking about Rachel again. They'd barely even spoken back at the Garrison but he wished they had more now. He'd hit on her quite a bit and she always seemed completely disgusted by him. Pidge and Hunk teased him mercilessly for that.
"There was this girl I really liked," Lance said.
Coran just smiled and ran his gloved hand along the curve of his mustache.
"We barely knew each other but, I just keep thinking about what could've been, ya know?" Lance said.
Coran furrowed his brow. It as barely noticeable but his shoulders slumped a little bit too. Coran leaned against the main control panel. He seemed to be a million miles away.
"I have someone like that too," Coran said.
God, why didn't he think about this? Coran was old enough that he probably had a wife and kids on Altea. And they were super, super dead now. Lance just ripped open a wound that he really shouldn't have. It was too late to go back now and it looked like Coran needed to get it off of his chest.
"You had a family?" Lance asked.
He spoke with such sadness. Lance didn't need to know Coran that well to understand how awful that must feel. He'd been pretty amazed that Coran was able to keep it together most of the time. If Lance had really lost Earth like they'd lost Altea, he'd have gone insane.
"I never got around to that. Allura and King Alfor were like family to me. I never actually got married," Coran said.
That just seemed horribly depressing. Lance continued to listen.
"I had someone for a while. They were a great person but they couldn't really handle how much time I had to invest in my work so they didn't stick around long," Coran explained.
Lance leaned forward and raised an eyebrow.
"They?" Lance asked.
Coran rubbed the back of his neck and let out a little yawn. He seemed to be trying to puzzle out how to explain this to Lance.
"I'm not sure if you have this on Earth but on Altea, there are people that see themselves as neither men or women," Coran explained.
They definitely had that on Earth but Coran talked about it so casually. From what Lance's grandmother had told him, things had been pretty screwed up back in the day for anyone like that. Things weren't exactly perfect when he left either. Lance's mom had cried when his brother came out. She ended up coming around but it was still a tender topic for that side of the family.
"Yeah, we've got people like that," Lance said.
His eyes narrowed a bit. He was just more confused now that he'd fully processed what Coran just said.
"Wait so-you're not straight?" Lance asked awkwardly.
Coran just stared at Lance with a blank look on his face. He and Allura were seriously on the struggle bus when it came to Earth vocabulary. They'd just be talking and then it'd come to an abrupt halt like this while they tried to explain phrases to each other. Coran looked himself up and down from boot tip to the red curl on his head.
"No, I'm not perfectly straight. What does that have to do with the conversation?" Coran asked.
Lance couldn't help but laugh. He couldn't really blame the guy for not knowing any better but it still was really amusing.
"I'm straight. Like I'm a guy and I only like girls," Lance said.
This seemed to clear things up quite a bit. Coran started to nod his head rather vigorously.
"I'm fine with whatever opportunities present themselves. I'm a gorgeous man after all, why should I limit myself?" Coran said with a wink.
Lance's eyes widened and he flopped back int his seat. He just hadn't expected that from Coran. He didn't know what he was expecting because he didn't really know him that well to begin with. It'd been weird when his brother told them he was gay. It wasn't because it grossed Lance out. It was just different. It seemed like his brother had secretly been a completely different person for their entire life but that's not how it was. He was still the same goofy jock that he'd always been. Once Lance realized that it was back to normal. Coran seemed very intrigued now by the conversation. He was stroking his chin and looked rather inquisitive.
"Straight is an interesting label. We had labels like that on Altea but they were very old and no one really cared about them anymore," Coran explained. "We just would ask each other and that was that. No one really felt the need to categorize themselves anymore."
That must've been really confusing. Lance couldn't wrap his head around it that well. How could people just run around without a label like that? How did they know who was available or who would even be interested in them? He felt a mild shock when he realized something. He didn't really know that on Earth either. He'd probably hit on plenty of girls that had no interest in boys whatsoever.
"If nobody really had labels how did you guys not get confused?" Lance asked.
Coran found this proposition deeply interesting.
"I guess it makes sense to have things set in clear categories," Coran said. "The Guvveries of the Fentor system were like that. They were very rigid. They didn't allow anything in between. Everything was very binary. They divided the entire planet based on the sexes and only ever came together to-"
Coran grinned sheepishly.
"-to procreate," Coran finished.
Aliens were freaking weird. Lance furrowed his brow.
"Earth wasn't that rigid," Lance said.
Coran mulled this over as he rubbed his chin.
"I suppose Altea and Earth weren't that different after all." Coran said. "Sounds like you humans were just a bit more organized about things. There's no harm in that."
Coran's smile fell away a bit. His gaze drifted to the floor. The excitement of learning about another culture seemed to have faded.
"The woman I-cared about. She'd been married to a woman before I met her but she liked men too," Coran explained. "This was quite a while after my previous partner and I parted ways. I remember Allura's mother had just died."
Coran's expression softened. He seemed to be smiling and tearing up all at once. Lance just sat back in his seat quietly.
"Her wife had died a few years before she became Allura's bodyguard," Coran said. "Its how she got that job, honestly. Alfor wanted the Princess to have some kind of strong female influence around while she grew up and Madame Nordontu had dealt with death too. There wasn't really another candidate who was as qualified for the job."
The red-haired Altean seemed like he was holding back a little. Lance tapped his fingers against the surface of his control panel.
"I didn't know Allura lost her mom," Lance said.
The thought of growing up without his own mother made Lance feel a twinge of fear.
"The Princess was so young, she barely remembers it," Coran said.
He tugged on the shirt of his uniform. It seemed like he was trying to collect himself a bit.
"I grew quite fond of Madame Nordontu," Coran admitted.
His voice wavered only ever so slightly. This woman was most definitely dead. Everyone Coran had ever known was dead. Lance was sitting here fretting about his family that was safe and sound back home on Earth and Coran didn't even have that comfort. Everyone he knew was just gone. He'd literally woken up to find out his entire world, his entire life, didn't exist anymore. Lance leaned forward in his seat. When his grandfather had passed, his grandmother seemed to really love talking about the old times. She'd cry a lot but she smiled too.
"What was she like?" Lance asked.
He was a little worried that Coran wouldn't want to talk about it but he actually seemed to lighten up a bit. Coran glanced down at the polished floor and let out a sigh. His smile was soft and there was a hint of sadness in his eyes.
"Well, she could out drink me, for one," Coran said. "Her life completely revolved around her work, just like me. She was dedicated down to her very core. And I'm fairly certain she could've snapped me in half with her bare hands."
He snickered a bit.
"She loved Allura so much. She would've thrown herself off of a cliff for the Princess," Coran said.
Coran stiffened. He let out a soft sigh as he stared out at the stars.
"I should've told her how I felt," Coran said.
Lance's heart sank. He'd wished he said something to Rachel but he at least still could. Coran wasn't ever going to get that opportunity. And Coran wasn't talking about some crush. Lance could hear that in his voice. This ran deep.
"She probably knows now," Lance said.
He didn't have the slightest clue how Altean religion worked but he knew how things worked for his family. He'd always found comfort in that and it was the only comfort he could come up with for Coran.
"She's still with you, watching over the both of you," Lance said.
Coran smiled. Lance thought the Altean was tearing up but he wasn't going to point that out.
"Of course she is, she couldn't leave Allura unattended," Coran said.
They both chuckled over that one. It was nice to feel like he wasn't alone. Lance wasn't the only person hurting on the Castle. He felt a bit selfish to think about it that way but he'd been feeling so lonely since they'd gotten here. At least he knew he always had Coran to turn to. Shit, he'd have to be there for Coran too from the sounds of things.
Lance felt like he was about to crap his pants but Nayni's aggressive pep talk just couldn't be shaken from his mind. This didn't even seem like it was good timing either but when was a good time? He'd asked enough girls out in his time to know that there was never a good time. Perfect timing wasn't a thing that actually existed. Breakups, hookups, marriages, divorces, births, and deaths all just happened regardless of what was going on. The longer the four of them sat in the kitchen, the more Lance felt like he was going to explode. He'd barely been able to concentrate on the conversation that'd been going on for the past hour or so.
Allura had been chatting with Hunk and Pidge about the differences between Altean genders and sexuality. The conversation had devolved a bit into a weird giggle fest. Lance felt like he was dying. Why did she have this magical power over him? She just slowly chipped away at all of his confidence until he just didn't know what to do with himself. He'd always thought she was hot but he couldn't pinpoint the moment that he realized she was a lot more to him than that. He'd do anything for her. Absolutely anything.
He knew it had to be tonight. He didn't want to end up like Coran and Nayni. He didn't want to throw away years of potential happiness out of fear. He was also pretty sure Nayni would actually punch him in the face if he didn't make a move soon. He'd never really been afraid like this to approach a girl. Allura had thrown him completely out of whack. Lance had been turned down before. It always sucked but he could handle it. He'd just get back up and move on to the next girl. But the idea of Allura rejecting him was heart-wrenching. That would be a hard one to get over.
He didn't even have the slightest clue how she even felt about him. It was obvious that Allura considered them all friends. Things had gotten a little weird before Keith took off though. That had made him so freaking jealous. Even that was so hard to read though. Keith didn't seem to get why it was kind of tense but Allura wasn't really making things clear either. Lance didn't have a lot of evidence but he just felt it. He just felt like there'd been something there.
Pidge let out a yawn. Both she and Hunk looked like their eyes were heavy with exhaustion. Shit, it was coming. Everyone was going to run off to bed soon. Lance was the only one aware of the panic building up within him. He was just casually leaned against the counter, cool as a cucumber, with that glint in his eye. Hunk stood up and stretched. Here it was. Lance wasn't ready but he was about to make his move.
"Well, as educational as this has all been, I think I'm gonna pass out," Hunk said.
A string of Spanish and English curse words were running through Lance's brain on a loop. He just kept smiling though. Pidge nodded in agreement with Hunk. She rubbed at her eyes. Her glasses fell crookedly across her tiny nose.
"Yeah, I'm out," Pidge sighed. "Night guys."
He would've loved to have them stay up for a few more hours and drag this all out but Lance knew that wasn't going to happen. It was now or never. If he didn't have the balls to do this now he was never going to be ready.
He might vomit, just a little bit. He wasn't used to feeling like this. Allura had messed him up pretty badly. He and the Princess watched their companions as they shuffled out of the kitchen. Hunk was especially dragging his feet. He'd spent quite a bit of time preparing that meal tonight. Lance was hoping he'd be able to keep that food down now. Allura slipped off the counter. Her feet barely made a sound when they hit the floor.
"I think I'll be calling it a night as well," Allura said.
Lance took a deep breath on the sneak. He still felt like crapping his pants but he needed to do this. That old, grumpy, fat nanny was right.
"Actually, I was wondering if I could talk to you about something," Lance said.
He sounded smooth and cool as hell but that was not at all how he felt. Allura's pointed ears perked up. Her hair was sparkling like the moonlight. She looked like she was genuinely concerned too. He was trying to keep looking into her indigo eyes but it was really hard. She looked so beautiful tonight.
"What's wrong, Lance?" Allura asked.
He was just fixated on the curve of her lips as she spoke and the way her silver curls clung to her cheeks. Lance knew what he needed to say. He had to make it pretty clear. He'd gone around flirting with pretty much every female they'd ever encountered so he had to make it very apparent to Allura just how special she was to him. Lance drummed his fingers on the countertop. His heart was pounding.
"So we've known each other for a while now," Lance began.
Allura just blinked. She really had no idea, did she?
"-and I've come to realize some stuff," Lance said.
He was being much less articulate about this than he'd expected. Allura had furrowed her brow. She looked so concerned. Lance was stiff as a board. He was afraid if he moved even the slightest muscle that he'd lose his cool.
"I think you're pretty great," Lance said. "Like really great."
Allura just smiled brightly. She gave him a gentle pat on the shoulder.
"That's so sweet, Lance, you're amazing too!" Allura said.
Oh yeah, she didn't realize what was happening at all. From what Coran had told him, getting into a relationship on Altea wasn't terribly different from how it went down on Earth. Maybe she just wasn't getting it because they'd been friends for so long now. He was scared to lay it all out like this but Nayni had told him this is how it had to be. Of all the people to know how to talk to Allura, it was gonna be her.
"I mean—I think you're the greatest person, like ever," Lance said.
He swallowed nervously.
"Allura, you're the most beautiful girl I've ever laid eyes on," Lance said. "You're the strongest person I've ever met and you've done things that I didn't think were even possible."
It was coming out easier now. He still felt like he was going to pee his pants but the words were just rolling out now.
"Yeah so I really like— care about you and I needed you to know that," Lance said.
Allura was resting her hand delicately over her chest. She looked quite shocked by his confession. His heart was racing even faster now. It looked like The Princess was blushing. She couldn't really be blushing, could she? She just kept staring at him. Her eyes were sparkling like jewels and his stomach was in knots. He just needed her to say something. He needed her to say anything.
"Lance, I-" Allura stammered.
Allura looked a bit troubled. She folded her arms across her chest. Lance felt his heart sink a little bit.
"I don't know what to say. I need to think about this- if that's okay," Allura said.
It felt like the floor beneath him had fallen away. Lance didn't know what he'd expected. He'd wanted her to just wrap her arms around him and kiss him but he knew it wasn't going to be that easy. She'd never really been very receptive to his charms. That's why this had all been so scary. He knew they cared about each other but he just didn't know if Allura cared about him the same way that he did for her.
"Yeah, it's fine," Lance said.
He still felt terrified. It was out in the open now. He didn't have to worry about it anymore. He didn't have to over analyze every little conversation he had with her. Waiting for her answer was going to be agony though. He'd ripped off the bandage now. It'd been relatively painless but he was pretty sure there still might be a possibility for a fair bit of pain. From the way she was acting, he was pretty sure she didn't feel the same way.