I dropped the box off at Miranda's, leaving it on the bed, along with a single rose I'd picked from next door's greenhouse. I wished I could have seen her face when she got it, but I was happy enough knowing that she knew I was alive. I desperately needed medical attention, so I sought that first before going after Irv. Runway took two weeks off and that's the time frame I gave myself to kill him.
In reality, it took a whole lot longer than two weeks to weed out all of the players in the little web of intrigue that Irv was building. It turned out he was in league with Jacqueline Follet, a minor player and one he'd brought in from overseas, set on taking over Miranda's job. As I interrogated her into submission I realised that the original simmering anger was no longer there. It had been replaced by the white-hot burning. The feeling that I would do anything to protect Miranda, even though my brain kept telling me I didn't even know the woman. Right now, I had the means of making a family, hopefully, one day my family, safe. Irv knew his time was up when he turned on the light to reveal me sitting in his home office chair.
"Have a seat Irv," I said quietly. He complied immediately, his skin turning sallow as he realised the full impact of what he'd done.
"You kept certain things from me Irv," I stood and walked over to him, liking the look on his face as I got close enough to touch him. "Miranda is a good woman," he scoffed, which turned into a groan as I slammed my revolver into his forehead. Emptying the chamber of the revolver I'd picked for this very purpose, I made a big show of choosing a single bullet, loading it into the gun and spinning the chamber. I aimed it at his head, ignoring his whimpering pleas and pulled the trigger.
Click.
"Like the fact that Jacqueline is in league with you," he swallowed. "That you could think to replace Miranda Priestly." I pulled the trigger.
Click.
"You realise what this means don't you Irv," I said as spun revolver chamber again. "Your life is entirely down to chance," I leant forward so I could smell the disgusting cologne he was wearing. "But know this, after our little 'talk' Jacqueline will not be returning to work on Monday. In fact, she may never return at all," I said dying to itch my face underneath the mask I had worn to cover my true identity. That in itself was an indication that my life as an assassin was almost over. I smiled despite the situation. I had enough money to never work again if I should choose it. I gleefully returned the gun to the odious man's temple smiling sinfully.
"Are you ready?" I asked him, taking only the slightest pleasure in watching him almost convulse.
"Please, please, I'll leave the whole company to her, she can have the lot," I laughed genuinely at the stupidity.
"You moron. She doesn't want the company. Her job is Editor-in-Chief and it will remain that way until she sees fit, do I make myself clear?" he nodded profusely, praying to any and all gods that were listening to spare his life. "Goodbye Irv," I said pulling the trigger.
Click.
"Looks like fate is on your side Irv. But if I see you again? I'll be the master of your fate," I whispered menacingly in his ear. I'd almost made it to the door when I heard him exhale.
"Stupid, sanctimonious bitches," he breathed after he thought I'd gone.
"Oh, dear Irv," I said loudly turning to him, pointing my gun at him. If anything he paled even more and I pulled the trigger, dislodging the bullet into his right leg.
I sauntered back over to him and pushed the barrel into the wound making him scream bloody murder.
"You would do well to remember this day Irv," I said walking out of the front door like nothing had happened.
I wasn't going to call the police, he could do what he liked, but after six weeks I needed to go back. My wounds were healing well after I got patched up by the Doc, but I smiled as I thought about the limp Irv would have for the rest of his life. I pulled off the mask and the wig and the cheek lifts and the false teeth. I got to my car and changed my outfit, pulling on a pair of True Religion jeans and a Chloé singlet and jacket. Might as well look the part.