A/N: First and foremost, I dedicate this chapter to CanonCannon although I feel it would be more appropriate to dedicate the whole story to her. She has always left me a lovely, encouraging review without fail since the very beginning of Little Too Late, and I am insanely grateful for that. :)
Secondly, I have decided to continue this story as it is and not write a sequel, it just didn't feel right to end the fanfiction here, and if it doesn't feel right, then it's probably not. This is a little bit of a filler, as chapters go, but next chapter school life will be underway and I can assure you there will be lots of drama (as well as lots of Blackinnon-which we love-and lots of Jily-which we also love). I am thinking that I will do a few chapters based purely around Jily though, even if this is a Blackinnon fanfiction, mainly because a) a lot of you have requested it and b) I love Jily.
Okay sorry I'm rambling again.
Please do review, reviews are like airconditioning in a hot car when it's thirty five degrees celcius (basically a godsend).
Enjoy x
Disclaimer: Not JK Rowling. Sorry.
Chapter 13-Whispers
The part after a funeral was something Marlene couldn't describe in words. Was it an after party? It felt like an after party, but not a wild one. And a party hardly seemed a fitting word for something which followed such a sad event. She later learned it was callled a 'Wake' but that only confused her further. Who were they waking?
After Sirius' moving speech, Marlene thought it would be best to divert the guests' attention from the grieving mother and her sons on the floor and shepherd them all inside. With a quick clearing of her throat, she politely asked the guests to make their way into the house where there would be a buffet and drinks served.
"Come on Lily," Marlene whispered, into the ear of her best friend, who was standing looking at the sobbing James on the floor, in complete horror. She'd never seen him look so vulnerable.
"How can you…?" Lily began, opening her mouth then closing it again, "I just…I don't understand how you can be so strong Marlene. Do you even have a heart? Even Hogwarts biggest jokers are crying!"
Marlene snapped slightly, "Of course I have a heart! They've lost their father, Lily, I on the other hand haven't." At her sharp words, Lily's eyes teared up again.
Realising her friend's current sensitive disposition, Marlene sighed, "Sorry Lils. I didn't mean it. This is just harder for me than I'm letting on. It's a difficult day for us all."
"No, I'm sorry. You're right, of course you're right. What right do I have to be upset anyway? I barely knew the man. I shouldn't even be here!"
"Don't be silly!" Marlene pulled her friend into a one armed hug, not being one for affection generally, "You're here for me. You're the best support I could've asked for."
"Support?" Lily wiped her eyes, with a small laugh, "I'm more of a wreck than you!"
"It's you even being here that counts. It was enough convincing you to even come and stay, so you not leaving helps more than you can ever realise. And it doesn't just help me either, I know you've been a big support to James as well."
Lily blushed slightly, "It's just really different seeing him like this. I can't wait until we get back to school and he's his usual arrogant self again. It's weird I know, because I always complain about him at school, but at least it's better than seeing him like this. I want things to go back to normal."
"I don't even know what 'normal' is anymore," Marlene said, "I hope James can get through this. Black too."
Lily looked sympathetic, "Why don't we head inside?"
"Good idea," Marlene nodded, and they made their way up to the house.
Inside, guests were mingling.
Marlene had never before wished for the hug of her mother as much as she did when so many people came up to her offering their condolences. Marlene didn't even know why she was the centre of their sympathies, but she presumed it was because Loretta, James and Sirius were still outside paying their respects. It all got a little too much after a while, and Marlene found herself having to hold back tears. She was beyond relieved when she saw the balcony was empty.
Leaning against the barrier separating the platform from falling into the Potters' garden, Marlene finally let a sob ricochet through her body. It wasn't often that she cried for anything or anyone, but it had been a taxing day, and finally separating herself from everyone was such a relief. Stamping her high heeled foot, Marlene let out an angry cry.
"Why you, hey?" Marlene shouted up at the sky, "Why was it you who had to go and get yourself killed? Of all the bad people…hell, of all the good people too! You were one of the best! Why was it you? Why did you have to go and leave us all?" Her voice softened, "You know I'm not sure how James is going to cope without you, you know? You were his whole world. I've never seen him respect anyone else like he respects you. It's destroying him already." She got angry again, "I'll find whoever did this to you, I swear, and I'll kill them! I'm going to fight this Uncle Charlus…we all are. They won't win. He won't win." Furious tears streamed down her face, as she punched the barrier in frustration.
"McKinnon?" A hesitant voice sounded from behind Marlene, and she whipped her head round, quickly wiping the tears from her face.
"Black," She said, "How are you holding up?"
"As well as expected," Sirius shrugged, "Evans said I might find you here."
"You were looking for me?"
Sirius chuckled, "Don't flatter yourself."
They fell into an uncomfortable silence before Sirius spoke up again.
"I keep thinking about Reg."
"Reg?"
"My brother. Regulus."
"Mhmmm?"
Sirius came and stood next to her, leaning on the bar, and looking over the grounds, "Why did he come the other night? Why did he even give us a chance? Why did he betray his side?"
"What are you getting at?"
"I'm worried about him."
Marlene laughed, "Worried? You don't even speak to him!"
"Not now, but we were really close when we were younger. Regulus would never outright ask for help."
"A bit like you then?"
"I'm serious, McKinnon."
"Yes I know you are, I'm Marlene."
"Hilarious," Sirius said dryly.
"Alright, sorry, but I just don't get it. Who says he was asking for help? Maybe he just has a heart."
"There's something that is telling me that isn't the case."
Marlene studied him for a moment, before sighing, "Well, what do you want me to do? Swoop in there and rescue him?"
"No…" Sirius said, carefully.
"Then what?"
"I…well, I'm not really sure."
Marlene sighed again, "Look, Black, I appreciate why you're worried. But there really is nothing we can do. Uncle Charlus offered him a choice. A choice to stay. And he didn't take it. So it is up to him now."
"But he doesn't want to be there!" Sirius cried, angrily, "He's my little brother McKinnon! I am supposed to protect him! Look after him! Stop him getting hurt!"
Marlene flinched, but argued back, "It's too late Black! He's made his decision. Just like you made yours."
"But mine was the right one!" He exploded before sighing and turning away, shaking his head, "Forget it, I don't even know why I'm telling you this. Why would you want to help me?"
"Ugh, no...I'm sorry Black, I do want to help you," She said, "I just don't know what to do."
"That makes two of us then."
"Look, we go back to school on Friday…maybe you can talk to him then," Marlene said softly, rubbing his shoulder.
Sirius snorted, "Fat chance."
There was a long pause before Marlene spoke again.
"I'm going to go and find James…I haven't spoken to him at all. Are you coming?"
"I might stay out here for a bit."
Marlene nodded, making her way through the doors.
"Marlene?" She was shocked to hear Sirius use her first name, as she looked at him, "Thank you."
"For what?"
"For today."
"It's fine."
And then, Marlene McKinnon walked away from Sirius Black again.
The next day was a silent one in the Potter household. It was the final day they would be spending there, before heading back to school. Mrs. Potter was making a valiant effort to continue as normal, fussing over whether their robes were clean and 'oh, James, where did you put your head boy badge?'. Marlene had always admired that about Loretta Potter. She had a way of continuing with life even when all the odds were against her.
James had said next to nothing since speaking at the funeral. Marlene had indeed gone to find him after her conversation with Sirius the previous night, but she had got little out of him, so instead just held him. He had barely cried. They just sat in silence until James fell asleep and Marlene knew it was safe to leave him. She didn't want him to be alone. He was like a brother to her.
Lily seemed helpless. She had well and truly talked herself into the idea that she shouldn't be there, and consequently had just stood around not really saying anything or doing much. Marlene knew that her best friend was sensitive, and even though she was not very close to Mr. Potter, seeing what his death was doing to the people around her-whether she liked them or not-was taking its toll on her.
"Now, Marlene, are you sure you have everything you need for tomorrow?" Mrs. Potter bustled into Marlene's room, where she was laying on her back, looking straight up at the ceiling.
"Positive, Aunt Etta," Marlene didn't even look at the elder woman.
"Because you know, it's not too late to go shopping, but tomorrow morning will be so you should say something now-"
"I have everything I need, Aunt Loretta," Marlene promised, sitting up to face her.
"Oh…okay," Mrs. Potter looked slightly forlorn, as if a shopping trip would give her something to do.
"Please stop worrying," Marlene pleaded with the older woman, "Please just relax. I'm ever so worried about you."
"Me?" Mrs. Potter forced a laugh, "Why would you be worried about me, dear? I'm fine!"
"Because of that," Marlene sighed, "You're not fine, and I don't want you to be lonely when we leave tomorrow."
"Oh you don't need to worry about me, sweetheart!" Mrs. Potter pulled Marlene into a hug, "Godric bless you, child, but I promise I'll be fine. There are going to be plenty of people coming round the house to check on me. I won't have a chance to be lonely! Besides, it will be good for you lot to get back to school and have that sense of normality back again. It must be so stressful for you here, at the minute."
"I haven't had a chance to thank you properly for letting me stay with you this summer," Marlene said, genuinely, "It means a lot for me, and for my parents too."
"That's perfectly alright dear! Although, I don't think the desired effect was achieved. You were meant to be here because it was supposed to safer!"
"I've still had a lovely time, all things considered."
"Well, you're welcome any time, my love," Mrs. Potter glanced at her watch, "Oh, is that the time? I better see if the house elves have started dinner!"
And with that, Loretta Potter bustled out the way she came.
"And if you need anything, anything at all, you'll owl me won't you? So I can come home straight away?"
"James, stop being so daft! I will be absolutely fine!" Mrs. Potter ruffled her son's already messy hair, as he pulled the much smaller but much older woman into a tight hug, "Can't. Breathe. James."
"Sorry," James apologised, looking guilty as he ran a hand through his hair, "I'm just worried about leaving you mum, that's all."
"You could still stay if you wanted Jamie?" Marlene suggested.
"Nah…no, going to school is what's best I think," James decided.
"Good boy. My big brave boy," Mrs. Potter smiled, proudly, "Or should I say man! Oh gosh, my son is a man! Oh I'm so proud of you! Alright, okay, now Sirius…have you forgotten anything dear? I do hope not, because the train is leaving in ten minutes!"
"No, I've got everything mum!" Sirius grinned cheekily.
"Oh, you'll be the death of me, you!" Loretta laughed, pulling him in for a hug.
"Now, I can trust you girls to have brought everything you need. You've actually got your heads screwed on. Do let me know if your mother writes Marlene, I am missing her terribly," She gave Marlene a tight hug, before addressing the group of teenagers in front of her, "Now, you make sure you stay out of trouble all of you! I know that trouble seems to find you wherever you are-"She took a pointed look at James and Sirius here, "-But I want you to make an extraordinary effort to steer well away from it. I'm sure you'll agree, it's the last thing any of us need." The warning whistle sounded, signalling from them to get on the train, "Okay, go, go! All of you, before it leaves without you," Mrs. Potter ushered them all towards the train, "Have a great year! See you at Christmas! STAY OUT OF TRO-"
The train doors slammed shut and Mrs. Potter's voice was cut off.
"You okay mate?" Sirius asked James, placing a hand on his shoulder.
"Yeah…yeah…come on, let's find the others."
The group were walking down the aisle of the train, and they were halfway along before they noticed that everyone stopped talking as they walked past. No, not talking. Whispering. James was clenching and unclenching his fists, and Marlene could see the tension in his jaw, as a vein pulsed.
"James-" She said quietly but he'd stopped outside a compartment of unlucky Ravenclaws, who had been caught in the act of whispering about him. They all looked at him, with a slight fear in their eyes, as they realised he knew they'd been talking about him.
"Well?" James demanded, "Out with it then! The whole school has obviously got something to say so why can't you be the ones to tell it?"
They all exchanged looks before a girl with dark hair spoke, her tone hesitant, "We were really sorry to hear about your father James. It's a tragedy."
"A tragedy, yes," A blond boy agreed, timidly, "He was a real asset to the wizarding world."
James' jaw softened, "Yeah. Yeah, he really was," He tensed again, "But he's not coming back. And I don't need your condolences. So keep them to yourself. And I mean, to yourself. Not to me, and not to any of my friends, and certainly not to any of your friends. Alright?" They all nodded, and one of the girls even let out a frightened squeak, "Glad we cleared that up. Have a nice day." James nodded curtly, before turning on his heel and walking away.
Marlene scolded him, "That was a little harsh James. They didn't mean any harm."
"I could've done a lot worse, Marlene, they got off lucky. They should know better than to talk about me behind my back. They should all know better."
"People just want you to know that they're there for you, that's all. I hate people talking about me behind my back as much as the next person but-"
"I get what you're saying Marlene. I just don't want to hear it right now."
"Prongs, mate, McKinnon has a point," Sirius said.
"Wow, Sirius Black actually agreeing with me! To think, I never thought I'd see the day."
"Well, at least one thing has stayed the same," Lily rolled her eyes, "Marlene and Black still hate each other."
"Well you know what they say Lily-flower," Sirius smirked, "There's a thin line between love and hate!"
"Which means theoretically, if you hate James…" Marlene suggested.
"You really love him! Hey mate, you have a chance after all!"
Lily blushed, the redness in her cheeks the same shade as her hair, "I don't hate Ja-Potter."
"Who's Japotter?" Sirius frowned.
"You're right Lily," Marlene commented dryly, "Black is still as annoying as ever."
"You'd think some things would change," James muttered, under his breath, sliding open the glass door to the compartment where Emmeline, Mary, Alice, Remus and Peter were sitting. Emmeline and Remus were sitting close together, and appeared to be telling Mary, Alice and Peter something intently, but fell silent as James walked in.
"Not you as well," James groaned.
"Sorry James," Remus said guiltily, "We just wanted to warn them."
"Oooh, so you and Lupin are a 'we' now, Em?" Marlene wiggled her eyebrows. Emmeline just blushed. Mary and Alice felt a little out of touch. They were not used to seeing Marlene and Sirius in such a close proximity without fighting, let alone Lily and James.
"Oh shut it, you!" The corners of Emmeline's mouth turned up slightly as she chastised her close friend.
"We're not all going to fit in this compartment," Sirus stated, "So maybe Marlene and I should find a private one-"
"We can squeeze," Marlene interrupted.
"Oh it doesn't really matter," Lily said, glancing at her watch, "Potter and I have to go to a head student's meeting in a moment."
"Still can't believe you got head boy Prongs," Remus shook his head with a laugh.
"Right. Yeah. Well, er, I guess we should go then?" James cocked his head looking at Lily.
"Well unless you want to be late Potter, I guess we should," Lily snapped, before departing. James hurried after her.
"Ahhh," Marlene sighed, contentedly, as she settled into one of the seats, "It really is good to have things back to normal."