Yo! Warning blood, gore and torture up ahead, it was necessary.

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Last time on: Greatness:

…"My name's Nobu Tsukabi."

…

…"so Tou-sama, what brought this up?"

The older male blonde scratched his chin nervously, "your very skilled for your age, Naruto, we would like to refine it." He watched the boy roll his eyes "if this is about your birthday or that Mito is the clan heir: your holding onto it for too long, just let it go."

The boy rubbed his eyes and breathed in deeply, "this isn't about my birthday or about being the clan heir, this is about the fact that for four years I had to wake up and make my own breakfast which meant that I had to learn how to cook when I was four, watch you train Mito and wave me away when I asked for advice on my own training, I had to ask people who knew me to help me train." He smirked faintly "do you know how badly I wanted to prove my worth to you, Tou-sama that I could also do something to make you look at me. Now that you see me, I just don't feel…satisfied, because you only saw me after I made a seal and seeing my grades." The boy growled the last part before he took a deep breath and chuckled hollowly "I'm as 'excellent' as I am from getting help from others and most importantly myself. I can't deny being glad you two see me again, after four years that is, I can't emphasize that enough." He smiled at them and stood up, "I'm not hungry anymore, good night." He wore his coat and looked at Shin who also stood up, he nodded to the door and she walked to it.

"Can't you ever forgive us, Sochi-kun?" His mother pleaded, tears cascading from her eyes and a hand clenching her heart. "I promise, I-I'll make it right, please just come back home." Minato bowed his head in disappointment, Naruto was right; he only noticed him because of his accomplishments as small as they were (to them) but he'd be damned if he wouldn't try and bring his son back home.

He shrugged tiredly and answered with his voice and face even "I don't know. If I ever will it wouldn't be soon, but right now I honestly can't trust you two." His words were like electrified daggers to the heart; he looked at Mito and smiled gently "good night, imouto." He bowed to the others and walked off into the night holding Shin yu's hand.

Now…

CHAPTER 9

"There has been a change of plans; master needs his body by the end of the weekend."

The sun was barely up yet but there were two figures that sat at the table in a room only lit by a single candle. One had dark brown almost black eyes, the other had his eyes hidden under his hair. It was the first person that spoke, his voice was smooth and a bit deep, a teenager. The second person shifted slightly and his hidden eyes gazed into the candle, he was the youngest of the pair.

The first person spoke again, "do you think you'd be able to get it done?"

Nobu looked up from the candle and the light illuminated his face, he nodded, "this is really inconvenient, Kabuto, I intentionally started at the academy late but had to follow him to write my exams early as well but I'm sure he didn't know me or that I got second place in the exams ranking." He looked back at the candle and continued, "I just needed another year to gain his trust, or part of it. What changed the plans?"

"Orochimaru-sama sent me a message that he was grievously injured by Uchiha Itachi, his body is rejecting him. He predicted it would happen within a month so he wants Naruto's body." The snake Sannin had a plethora of other people that would gladly give up their body's for the man, Kabuto and Nobu included, but he wanted Naruto's body specifically as a middle finger to the person that 'stole' his ambition to become Kage from him. "Would you be able to do it, Nobu-kun?"

The blue haired boy leaned back in his chair and grinned, showing serrated teeth and a reptilian tongue poking out every once in a while, something he had to suppress during the day so as not to bring attention to himself. "Naruto may be strong for his age but I'm stronger."

"Don't get cocky, don't underestimate him." Kabuto whispered fiercely, the other boy just scoffed and picked his nails. He sighed and rubbed his face "do you have a plan?"

Nobu's grin widened abnormally, the genjutsu hiding the corners of his extended mouth dispelling leaving him with a true Cheshire grin. Since Kabuto knew the boy well enough he didn't flinch "the boy loves his sister," was all he said.

The older boy stood up and walked to the rooms only door, he looked over his shoulder and said, "Don't do something stupid, Nobu-kun." And he walked out. His warning echoed in the blue haired boys head before he shook it and fixed back the genjutsu. For a second he second thought his plan.

"I will not fail you Orochimaru-sama, besides," he rubbed his hand on the back of his neck tenderly where the almost complete curse seal of heaven was "what could a kid like him do to me…"

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

It was noon when Naruto got the kidnap letter.

It was supposed to be a happy day because he had cracked the cursed seal, created alter seals for it and had at the same time got a seal from one of the alter seals complexities that could shrink his python puppet. The only sign he showed that he was both angry and panicking was his quivering hands. He had finally mastered his fire clones so he summoned 50 of them and had them scour the whole of Konoha. He himself checked with all his friends and Mito's friends whether they knew where she was, he got nothing. Shin yu, seeing how frantic her best friend was set aside her differences with the girl and helped search; nobody besides them noticed her disappearance. The last clone exploded in suppressed fire confirming what the letter had told him. His vivid imagination was running a mile a minute, imagining what the kidnaper or kidnappers were doing to his sister, he cursed himself for reading all those mystery and crime novels. He paced around the workshop impatiently, waiting for sunset to reach. The cursed girl watched him worriedly, wondering how she could calm the boy down but came out with blanks.

Naruto mentally took inventory. He had his spider puppet sealed in his wrist, he had not gotten to upgrading it; he planned to do so today. He had his fixed and improved mummy puppet, he covered the puppet with seals similar to the one he had in Chou's mouth so when it caught someone it could constantly be draining him until he turned it off, but he knew for sure he couldn't use it on jinchuriki; they would over load the seal. His black hole puppet was sealed in his other wrist with his unchanged tank puppet and his python puppet. Senbon launchers on his wrists filled with paralytic senbon, he intended to keep the fool alive so he could find out who sent him, explosive tags in his pockets, ordinary kunai and shuriken also in his pockets, ninja wire stored in scrolls, knock out gas and poison in syringes also stored in scrolls. Finally, he had his obsidian scythe stored in a blood seal in the palm of his hands, the blonde had not mastered it but knew with certainty that he could hold his own against a weapons expert for a while at least. He occasionally sealed and unsealed it, giving it test swings with the deadly weapon coated in his chakra. The material used to make the weapon was meant to be inaccessible to anyone not a member of demon village but money could do a lot of things, buying the inaccessible was one of them.

Sunset. He looked at shin yu and non-verbally told her not to follow, he almost caved from the look she was giving him but he stayed strong, "I'll be back." He walked outside, nodding at the owner of the shop. He stopped in front of training ground 44 and went through some hand seals, 'summoning jutsu!' In a puff of smoke a scorpion half his size stood before him.

"You finally called huh?" the deadly creature hissed, it was male and it was angry. It raised his tail high to intimidate the boy but wavered from the glare it was given.

"This is an emergency."

Flashback

Two months after hearing the clones report

"I will be honoured to be your summoner, Mara-sama" the boy said to the easily intimidating but beautiful woman, "but I may only do so on emergencies." They stood in the workshop opposite on another, staring at each other. The queen had a small smirk infuriatingly plastered on her face but it was understandable with the boy being obviously flustered if his red face was anything to go by.

"Why so?" she said innocently, blinking slowly and stepping forward. She ran her hands through his hair and grinned widely at the gulp the boy took, 'awww…' "My clan don't normally take summoners from outside. You don't want us?"

"N-n-no! Of course I want you! I mean I want your clan! But why-why call you guys if I could do something on my own." He swallowed thickly and closed his eyes, avoiding the small pout the older woman had, she kept stroking his head "but-but I can call your clan if I can't do something like-like tracking!" the boys expressionless face broke bit by bit with each flustered word that came out of his mouth.

"Tracking? We aren't good at tracking Naruto-kun" a small part of her conscience scolded her for doing this to him, but the rest of it 'kawaii'd.' How she wished she could just take him back with her to her clan base and turn him into her immortal plushie, her last one was a bit…eaten, 'poor Tsume, but she did taste good, I wonder if he tastes good too…' she sniffed him quickly and licked her lips 'a bit bland but spices can do wonders…focus!'

The boy was too focused on the fact that his first and a half crush was touching him to care what else she did, Konan was the half crush because she kept constantly touching him, it was a bit off putting. "Hai, in places your clan is familiar with like the desert or the forest of death or I can send some of your spiders as messengers, I need messengers!" the woman patted his head to calm him down, if the way his clone behaved was how he normally did when he felt threatened then the way he was hyperventilating was not normal. She wanted the cool Naruto.

"Calm down Naruto-kun, we will respect your decision." She gave his head a last pat and stepped back. "Be cool ok."

He rubbed his hand on his face and did exactly that, his face became stoic but still tinted red when he removed his hands, "ok Mara-sama."

"That's good and none of this -Sama, call me -chan or whatever but not -san." She said. The only thing running through Naruto's mind was why it had to be his boss summons he had a crush on. His terrifying, hot and intimidating boss summons. Why not Tsunade or Yugao or even a younger girl. "But I'll keep visiting, which I promise, not regularly but whenever I want." Naruto nodded, it would take a lot of getting used to but it was still good with him. "See you later." She waved and poof away.

He stood where he was for a full half hour, taking breathing exercises 'why didn't my clone find her attractive, I need to read into this.' He looked at where he heard snickering and glared, "…shut up, Shin-chan."

"Naruto-san has a crush! That's so cute!" the 5 year old girl gushed, giggling in her section of the work shop. It wasn't every day that her best friend broke character or even panicked under pressure, he was normally cool. She may be a bit too young to know what a crush was or how to spot one but she had a lot of free time on her hands to read the few romance novels Naruto had with him. She giggled harder when he turned even redder, "I will never forget this day! Oh I can't breathe!" she grabbed her small belly and rolled on the ground.

This was a day to remember.

Flashback end

The scorpion stepped back, "what happened?"

Naruto ignored his question and asked, "You are familiar with this forest, right?"

"Of course, I have a family here."

"Find any human disturbance from the last 24 hours and trace it, quickly if you can."

"Hop on, I can see and 'smell' one now." Naruto raised an eye brow at the last part but still jumped onto the goliath creatures back. It crouched lower onto the ground then it lunged sharply into the dense forest, the trees flew by and the passenger kept his eyes and ears open.

"don't get too close, I want the person to feel as if I came alone so stay hidden if anything goes wrong." Despite him whispering it the creature heard him and hissed affirmatively. The scorpion stopped and used his tail to point at a random looking clump of trees, Naruto nodded and climbed down nimbly, he silently told him to keep his eyes and ears open, and then the scorpion disappeared into the bushes. Naruto cracked his neck and stealthily stalked into the forest, quiet as a mouse's shadow, he arrived at where he was pointed to and found his unconscious sister hanging from a tree wrapped in ninja wire, he growled menacingly.

"Took you long enough," a disembodied voice said from above him, he looked up but had to roll out of the way when a claw like kunai impaled where he stood, it dripped with a grey substance. "Good reflexes, better hearing but I still need to take you back to my master."

"Come and take me then," Naruto called out, "I dare you."

"Brave last words coming from a kid, kid. But believe me when I say that I'm out of your league." The person jumped down from where he hide and from the little light the sun allowed he could see that the persons eyes was covered by his hair, blue hair.

"Nobu?" the blonde said blandly, like it was the most obvious thing in the world. It should be with the boy 'hanging out' with him every time he saw him. He was at least glad he didn't trust the boy in the first place "who is your master, Nobu?" the blue haired boy grinned his abnormal grin and Naruto sighed "Orochimaru…"

"Ding, ding, ding! Got it on one!" he clapped, "now be a good boy and pass out for me" he pointed at the blonde and the same claw like kunai ripped out, Naruto jumped away and formed a clone "I saw your spider tattoo, Naruto, and I have a friend back home that would be glad to rip it off."

Naruto did not respond to the threat but signalled at his sister and the clone took her down and ran out of the forest with her. All the while Naruto kept his eyes on his opponent, fixing his glasses and half mask, his face stoic and his body taking his taijutsu stance.

"I warned you, Naruto." He took his own unfamiliar stance and ran to the other boy. Naruto was faster though. He snapped a right hook to his face and a savage kick to his stomach. He didn't let up, he axe kicked the fool into the ground and kicked him away…into a tree, Naruto cocked his head to the side; wondering whether all the boys boastings were just words he couldn't back up, that couldn't be it. He threw a kunai wrapped in an explosive tag at the boy and detonated it before it could thunk into the wood. He waited for the smoke to clear and when it did he suppressed the urge to hurl. The boy was hanging of the tree with his limbs in strange angles, organs all over the tree trunk and his skin discoloured, he thought his first kill would be…cleaner. The 'dead' boys snapped his eyes open and the organs slithered back into him, his arms snapped back into place and his skin turned back to their normal colour. "You're much stronger than I anticipated, I can finally use this seal now." He grinned and his tongue stuck into the air, his mouth elongated making his already serrated teeth more intimidating, his claws grew and his blue hair receded. His skin had irregular patches of grey scales on it. He fell onto a crouch on all fours and licked his teeth, "try and beat me now, Naruto."

Naruto was worried about the chakra spike and estimated 20 minutes before the village's ninja could track them. He cracked his knuckles, enough time. He used the five second break to examine his opponent, the cursed seal didn't allow the person to die from external wounds so his only shot would be to give him an internal wound, 'poisons it is. ' He ran at Nobu at the same time he ran at him and they smashed fists in the centre, he ducked from a claw and raised his right leg away from another, he the bent back again from a claw, kicked Nobu's knees back flipped and used the flip to kick his chin. He tucked and rolled away and ran back in. He punched and countered expertly, he elbowed the man-reptile in the gut and stabbed a senbon in his leg but the weapon broke.

Nobu punched Naruto's belly and clawed his face but the 'Naruto' exploded in a small ball of fire. He looked just in time to swipe his claws at some hurled shuriken, "come on out Naruto. I won't bite." He got his wish when he was tied up in green thread and Naruto jumped out from a tree, pumped his left arm with his chakra and punched the inexperienced boy back into the tree, a poisoned kunai that had come out from nowhere sticking from his stomach. The blonde genius could have pumped his chakra into his opponent but he didn't know if it was stronger than nature chakra, albeit unstable one. The boy obviously was not too familiar with his body or his power; in the right hands he could have been formidable. He then resolved to himself, 'you'll be my first human puppet, Nobu.' He used a kunai to deflect a claw kunai and jumped away when the boy smashed his fist into his former position.

Nobu was agitated; he was frothing from his mouth and his blue eyes narrowed, he was losing himself to his cursed seal.

'This isn't going as smoothly as I planned, he's too strong.' He snarled at Naruto and removed the weapon before he chuckled hollowly, "that was good, but-but…" he hunched over and coughed out a glob of blood from his mouth, he fell on his knees and held where Naruto punched him with the kunai, he looked at the bruise/hole that was turning greener by the second. "What did you do to me?" he stammered fearfully.

"I poisoned you," he answered, 'finally…' Nobu fell down and turned on his back, the chakra from his cursed seal receding back turning his body back to normal albeit his clothes were torn and his sandals were a lost cause. The boy's body shook violently for a full 30 seconds before he stayed limp with blood bubbling out of his mouth, dead. The clearing was silent, "I can hear you breathing Anko." Said woman jumped down and walked to the boy cautiously, she watched him seal the dead body into a scroll and look at her curiously. She at least expected him to be a little bit winded but he did not even look ruffled, which meant he either inherited his mothers beastly stamina or he had trained himself to get used to this or he could hide it very well.

"Nice fight, brat." She said. He nodded to her and removed a scroll from one of his pockets. He gave her a small smile and her eyes widened. "Already?" he nodded again.

"Are you the only one that came?"

"Yeah, I run this place ya know!" she couldn't contain herself. "When can we do it?"

"Right now if you want, you just have to trust me." She gave him a small glare but nodded, "take off your coat." She bared her teeth at him but he raised his hands defensively "I told you before that's not what lady's wear in public. Anyway I'm 8 year old genin and you're a special jounin, there is literally nothing I can do to you without your consent."

"The way you fought wasn't genin level kid, that's low jounin easy." She then took a deep breath and let her coat slither off her body, leaving her half naked. "Just get it over with."

Naruto didn't even blush. He unrolled the scroll and placed it on the ground "lie down please" she did so swiftly. He summoned four fire clones and made three pick a seal on the scroll and draw it exactly a centimetre below the cursed seal, he looked at his clones and they nodded, they clamped onto each of her limbs and held her down firmly. Naruto took out a special senbon and pricked her wrist, the weapon glowed light blue and the tip had a small drop of blood on it. He took a deep breath and pressed it into the new seal and removed it.

And Anko screamed.

She thrashed and struggled but couldn't gain freedom. Black veins spread over her whole body from the cursed seal but the new seal seemed to unravel and wrap around, the kanji slipped and mixed with kanji for the cursed seal. The black veins flickered and turned dark blue until Naruto took the senbon and stabbed it into the ground near her head. A thin rope of dark blue chakra latched from the seals onto it and sank down into the ground (like a lightening conductor). The last bit of chakra sank into the ground and the veins lightened until they disappeared completely 10 minutes later. She stopped screaming almost abruptly and moaned. Her body quivered but he still held her down, he did not expect this reaction. He could even see the liquid leaving her lower half. He dispelled three clones and jumped away when she made to grab him, drool leaked from her lips.

She licked her lips and jumped on the clone. She humped the poor clone like a high and horny rabbit, ripped off his mask, licking his neck and kissing him deeply. She did this with so much fervour she could generate power with the orgasms that thundered through her. More and more quivers surged through her body, releasing her load on the innocent by standing clone. She panted and grinned at the clone that grinned back and was about rip off his clothes but slumped onto him unconscious; the real Naruto had pricked her with a quick-action senbon. He sighed in relief; he did not want to find out how being raped felt like but he couldn't keep the clone 'alive' forever. His clone grinned and gave him a thumbs up from where he lay. "This is going to be the best day in your 8 year old life, boss!"

The real blonde rolled his eyes, "cover her up, idiot."

"Hey! You're the idiot, boss!" his only response was to shake his head and sit on the ground. The scorpion that had helped him find the place skittered over to him and sat beside him. He was silent for a while. The clone dispelled before he spoke and Naruto's body shuddered strongly. The scorpion laughed loudly at his reaction from the memory back lash.

"That was awesome."

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

"Team 14: Naruto Uzumaki-Namikaze, Ami and Sai. Sai is replacing Nobu Tsukabi who has not been seen in a while. Sai is younger ninja that went through private training…" the round sensei explained, Naruto shrugged his shoulders "your sensei would be Mitarashi Anko."

"Of course she's my sensei" he muttered sourly. He still had flash backs from that day, yesterday. He couldn't sleep or he would dream of the experience so he took his tools and went into the forest to upgrade his python puppet and his spider puppet. 'Thank kami for clones.' A normal person would take at least 3 months to do the modifications he did on his puppets. He unsealed the dead dragon and removed its scales, wings, fangs and eyes. He fixed the some of the scales on his snake puppet, they were large so he didn't need all of it and fixed some of the teeth into its mouth, keeping them hidden in the puppets 'gums', making sure to place a preservation seal on it. He attached the wings with a complicated set of wires and rods; he let the wings lay flat on its body so that it couldn't be seen. Lastly he fixed an eye on the snakes forehead connected to a preservation seal and a constant supply of the dragons blood so it would glow, he made some eye lids to hide it; it didn't really have any function, just for intimidation. When it shrunk down it looked like a gold and red 'ordinary' python, deception was a ninja's best weapon. For his spider puppet he carved a helmet out of the dead creatures tail bone, he glued three claws that he sharpened and drastically reduced the size onto it, he made optimum use of his strings by carving designs depicting death and gore around it. Satisfied with what had done he sealed them back and stared at the sky until sleep ran him over…an hour before sunrise.

So there he sat, shades in his hair and mask hanging off his neck, slumped over his desk, sleeping until the snake lady had to collect her team.

Just as the class sensei called the last team a black blur broke through the window and landed, two kunai shot out of it holding a banner that read: THE SINGLE AND SEXY ANKO MITARASHI!

Naruto was shaken awake by the commotion and watched as another blur landed in front of the banner and revealed itself to be a grinning Anko looking as revealing as ever. She scanned the seats before her eyes landed on Naruto who already had a senbon launcher pointed at her, his face set in stone. She made to walk forward but stopped when he raised his other hand with another senbon launcher wrapped on it. She licked her lips and gave him a finger wiggling wave, and his response was giving her a light sneer. The class watched this stand-off in total silence, holding their breaths, wondering who was going to jump at whom.

Anko smiled at the class and said "team 14, meet me in training ground 43." The way she said it was a stark contrast to how she entered, she spoke calmly but lightly. She walked out of the class room through the door but stopped, looked at Naruto and gave her lips a final lick before she disappeared.

Naruto gave a sigh in relief. Sure he could take her on well enough but he didn't want any witnesses. He walked out of the class with his future team mates, a pale boy that kept smiling at him and the girl that wanted to intimidate him on the day of the exam. They followed the woman with Naruto at a respectably far distance away from her and stopped in a training ground that was rockier than the normal training ground and with the land uneven. The older woman motioned for them to sit down, they did so on the ground but the woman remained standing. She closed her eyes, looking at peace with herself and the world around her; she then opened her eyes showing pupiless brown eyes and a small smile.

"First of all, introductions." She rubbed her hands together and looked at them waiting for someone to go first but they all remained silent with Ami wide eyed by her apparel and her drastic change of character. "No one? Then I'll go first. My name is Anko Mitarashi, special jounin of Konohagakure no Sato. I work in the Torture & Interrogation department. I like Dango, my few friends, torture, blood, sex and Naruto-kun" she basically moaned his name out. Naruto's arm twitched when he heard her call his name, she blinked slowly and continued "I dislike idiots, perverts and traitors. My ambition or what I look forward to doing is killing my sensei and having eternal mind blowing sex with Naruto-kun," she moaned out his name again and blinked slowly. She looked at her soon to be students and nodded in approval when they didn't flinch, except Naruto's arm…again. She pointed at the purple haired girl named Ami "start."

"Uhm my name is Ami, no last name. I like cooking, my 'sister' Yugao Uzuki, training, traps and explosives. I hate tardiness and up starts that think they're better than us." She shot Naruto, who sat beside her, a glare but looked back at their indifferent sensei "my ambitions are to become a jounin and have a family." She crossed her arms and nodded.

"A worthy goal, Ami. You," this time she pointed at Sai "start."

He grinned his spine shivering fake grin and spoke "my name is Sai, no last name. I like training, drawing and learning. I don't have any dislikes but my ambition is to become a great ninja and person."

Anko levelled her eyes at Naruto and used her coats wrist to clean the little drool that slipped past her lips. She pointed shakily at him and looked away, "start."

He cleared his throat and began "my name is Naruto Uzumaki-Namikaze. I like training, sketching, fuinjutsu, ramen and wood/iron work. I dislike useless noises, mistakes, dishonesty and traitors. My ambition is to see this team become Sannin." His team mates gaped at him, Anko swallowed thickly, ran a hand through her hair and sweeping the perspiration off her forehead.

"I-introductions are over and done with, now for your genin test-"

"What! You mean we aren't even genin yet?! What about the graduation exams and these forehead protectors?!" Ami yelled, waving her arms frantically.

"If you shut up I might finish what I was saying." The girl took numerous deep breaths before she nodded for her indifferent but still horny sensei to continue.

"Like I was saying, the exams you took were to see if you could graduate; the test I want to give you is to see if you are worthy enough to become a Konoha genin team." She looked over her students valiantly, avoiding looking at Naruto, "know that if you agree to take the test there is no going back, if you fail you go back to the academy for another year before you will be given the opportunity to become a genin again. I have no problem teaching two students or even one student, none at all. Do you want to risk it or are you confident in your abilities."

Ami shifted uncomfortably on the ground but after a small glare at Naruto she looked at the woman defiantly. Sai remained grinning and unwavering in his place and Naruto just stayed unwavering. Anko nodded and spoke again.

"Good, good. You pass the first portion of my test." Ami sighed in relief, "second test is what I call the 'capture Tora' test. I want you to find and capture the fire daimyos pet cat in the next two hours, fail this test and you go back to school but pass and you're cleared for the third test. Drop the cat off in the Hokage's off where you would find me. Start now." Ami glared at Naruto and stood up but a firm hand on her wrist prevented her from rocketing off in a random direction. She looked at the offending appendage and glared at Sai. Anko had long since disappeared.

"Let go, pasty face! I've got to find that cat!"

"How are you going to find the cat, plum head?" The pale boy asked innocently.

"Like I'd tell you, I am not going back to the academy, now let me go!"

"He means how can you find a cat you don't know?" Naruto piped up, he stood up and so did Sai who still held her wrist.

"Hai, sensei is a torture & interrogation specialist, a master in psychology, I think, so she obviously knows what to say to split us up, have you ever heard of a two or one man team?" the girls glare wavered and his grin seemed to glow "exactly. I propose we stick together."

"Me too" Naruto said, he looked at his fellow 8 year old and nodded in respect. "What of you Ami, do you want to be in the team?" the girls glare blinked out of life but she still ripped her wrist out of the pale boys grip.

"Fine but never touch me again, understand." She growled, "How are we going to find that cat then, genius?" They were quiet until Ami snapped her finger, a light bulb blinking to life above her head almost literally, "spoofy!"

"Excuse me?" the blonde boy blinked.

The girl rolled her eyes and walked towards the village, motioning for them to follow, "I have a pet dog, he stays with Yugao-nee-chan. I can have her sniff the cat out."

"Do you by any chance have a sample of what the cat smells like?" Sai said quietly.

Naruto snapped his fingers, "since the daimyos wife owns the cat then it must be drenched in perfume. Can you have your dog find any trace of expensive perfume from the Kage's mansion to wherever?"

"Spoofy is a genius, he'd find the cat in no time."

It turned out that spoofy was a…Chihuahua. A tiny little thing.

Naruto almost broke his stoic mask and cracked up. Ami gushed all over the dog as it yipped and licked her face. She carried the dog under her arm and locked the apartment door with her spare key.

It also turned out that spoofy was a genius.

A few gushed words from Ami and a firm lick to the face from spoofy and the dog set off on the winded path towards the fire daimyo's wife's cat. It was an odd sight seeing a squealing girl following a tiny Chihuahua, with two boys, the Hokage's son and an abnormally pale boy following after her. The dog was too short to climb over something's so the girl took it upon herself to help him.

Finding the cat was one thing, capturing it was another. It was easier than the one hour walk around Konoha following a dog. All the jutsu Sai knew were offensive but he could draw and summon an ink cage to hold the cat. He did so and Naruto multiplied himself by 30 to trap it in the corner of the alley, it was an epic stand-off. The cat crouched and took a few steps back, ran and jumped over the Naruto's. Only to land in the ink cage. They dropped the cat off with its owner with heads held high and chests puffed in pride. Anko smirked at them and bowed to the blonde Hokage before she motioned for the team to follow her, but had to take a small de tour when Ami had to drop spoofy in Yugao's apartment.

They arrived at a forest and the woman knocked on a random tree. It slide open and she ushered the children in and followed after them, making sure to close the opening. The hallway they walked through was dark and in a straight line. Sai, who was at the front bumped into another door. Anko knew she had a chance to have her way with Naruto but held herself professionally; she walked to the front and slides a bleeding thumb over the door. It unlocked audibly and bolted open, the room they entered was illuminated only by a single light bulb that swung hypnotically in the centre with a single chair under it. It had belts that could hold down people and what Naruto knew as standard chakra suppressors on the back. The room finally had a one way window and an iron door which Anko walked to, opened and ushered the children through again. The opposite side of the window was smaller than the first room, no chairs but a hall way that led somewhere. A rugged man stood there, his presence alone intimidating.

"These them?" he grunted to the older woman.

"Yup, give them the easiest will ya? They don't know the ropes, yet anyway."

"We'll see, Anko." He raised his wrist to his mouth and said, "Bring in victim A"

The door they first walked through slammed open and a haggard and dirty man being held by two heft chunin stumbled in, the chunin strapped him down, saluted to the window and walked out.

"Your test, you explain." The man said lowly, he looked through the window at the prisoner.

"fine." She looked down at the children and began "congratulations on completing the capture portion now it's time for the last test. This man is Ibiki Morino, he is the head of the T&I and he graciously allowed us to use here for it, with special one-time permissions from the man at the top of course. The third portion of the test is interrogation." She smiled when at least one of the children gulped, "you three will get your own chance at interrogating a criminal. You will be scored based on how you interrogate, the honesty level, the speed of the confession and whether or not the person is a blubbering wreck at the end. Ladies first, so Ami this man used to kidnap children from the orphanage and sell them, I want you to find out who the buyer is. We already know but this is your test, take it seriously. Start when you're ready."

The girl's body shook slightly but when she felt two firm hands on her shoulders she squared herself and walked through. The man saw her coming and bellowed a deep laugh.

"Is this some kind of joke? You send in a kid?" he looked at her and licked his teeth, "come here, girlie, set me loose on you." Ami felt her skin crawl with disgust and she spat at his feet "lookie here! Girlie has guts! Go back to your dolls like a good kid, will ya?"

She looked back at the screen and could practically feel his team mates' support. She looked back at the man and cleared her throat; she paced in front of him until he became silent. "I am an orphan and I was a bully. I saw my own mother raped in front of me, repeatedly before she was beheaded. They painted our apartment with her blood. I still have nightmares…"

"Boo hoo, are you done? This isn't the least bit threatening."

"I stopped bullying when I almost stabbed someone. But…" she took out a kunai and traced it on his neck "I still get these urges, you know. I still want to bath in blood, not clean blood. Oh no, not clean blood!" she grinned at him and cackled. He remained defiant and looked her straight in the eyes, "your blood, my friend, is not clean. I'm not a vampire of course but I like blood!" She grabbed his face and let held it a few inches in front of hers, "can I have some, even a little?"

"Go to hell you little bitch! You don't have the guts!"

She gently let go of his head and began stroking his cheek. She sat on his lap and reclined her feet over one of his arms. All the while she twirled her kunai. "That is not what I wanted to hear, well I wanted you to refuse but still…" she plunged her kunai through his right shoulder and relished in his grunt of pain. "Ah, I haven't heard that in years." She twisted her weapon three times, removed it and smeared the blood on his forehead. "If only I knew I was handling blood today, I would have brought my lucky apron. Do you want to tell me the buyer now?"

His body shook but he still spat in her face. She grinned, her eyes wide and hysterical, and cracked her neck, "thank kami for you huh?" she stood up and took out some bandages. She sheathed her kunai and wrapped both her hands in it, "thank kami for you." She sighed wistfully and punched him at the side of his head, another punch to the other side and a last one had him bruised but still defiant. She gave him punch after punch after punch so when she finished he was a bloody mess. "Thank kami for you!"

"Ok, ok, I'll tell you! Please just stop," he pleaded, blood dribbling out of the side of his mouth, "his name's Hamacho, he's from Kumo. I swear I'm not lying."

She walked around him, trailing her hands on his neck gently as opposed to how bloody her bandages were "you poor thing. Are you sure you're not lying?" she cupped his face and squeezed harshly "think hard…"

"The drop off zone is in Tanzuki town, behind Gale's bar and restaurant, look for a man in pink pants, please that's all I know! I swear!" he sobbed, trying to look away from her crazed eyes. She patted his head and stood up.

"Good boy now was that so bad?" he didn't respond, his eyes still screwed shut. Then she cocked her head sideways and looked at the screen, "I'm done, right?"

The crowd were agape, even Sai. "I thought she was the normal one." Anko mumbled. How could such a sweet looking girl have an inner Harley Quinn? Ibiki regained his composure and buzzed the door open, and he lifted his wrist to his mouth "take him away and bring victim B" he looked at the girl that entered the room and contemplated proposing to her, but held himself back when he remembered what Anko did. He did not want to lose his nuts.

"That was awesome," Anko squealed and she patted the girl on her shoulder. She had not removed her bandages, "10/10, total honesty, total brutality and a blubbering mess! If this team passes you have a job here I guarantee it, right Ibiki?"

"Hai, that was very scary."

The door slammed open again and the same chunin strapped the next man into the chair, saluted and left. "Next up, Sai. This man broke into the home of an academy student and killed her, find out why and/or who sent him if there is. We also know the answers, take this seriously. Begin when you're ready." The boy nodded and sent a wave at his team mates before he entered the room. The man just glared at him and spat, Sai just kept his grin.

"Hello sir, my name is Sai. What's yours?"

"Piss off, brat." He said quietly.

"Sorry I can't do that, you see I have to get the reason you killed the student from you, any means necessary and you don't seem like the pointless killing kind of man so will you tell me?"

"Piss. Off."

The smile was wiped from the pale boys face and he took out his ink and pad. He slowly drew a line through it and showed the man, "good, look at the line." He snapped his fingers and the line jumped off the page and into the man's mouth. "For every time you refuse to answer a question you will be subjected to a painful sensation, do you wish to talk now?" the man bent his head and remained silent. Sai formed the ram seal and a black tentacle erupted from the side of the man's stomach, he yelled in pain, eyes watering but still silent, "now?" a tentacle erupted from his pelvis, more screams "now?" a tentacle erupted from his shoulders "now?" the man was in mind numbing pain, he nodded and confessed that the girl's father killed his daughter. Sai smiled brightly and released the seal; he snapped his fingers and the black line flew out of the man's mouth, splashing onto the ground. He looked at the screen and raised a thumbs up.

"10/10, intimidating smile, quick confession and let's not forget blood." She looked at Naruto and bit her lips, "next up is Naruto-kun" hearing Anko moan Ibiki looked at her with his eyebrows lost in the bandanna on his head, he coughed nervously and called in the next victim. "This guy claimed he came to Konoha from Iwa to collect the Sandaime's bounty, total lie. Find out the truth. Go in when you're ready."

Naruto also chose to go bloody. He asked for the reason for the man entering the village and his response was a laugh and the lie.

"Did you know there are nerves clustered on the tips of our fingers and toes? I could slip a needle in one…" he whipped out the needle of an empty syringe and rammed it cleanly through his pinkie finger, "and the pain would feel like I am hitting it with a mallet, correct?" The boy spoke over the man's screams, he suppressed his sympathy, he needed to get this over with so he might not be squeamish when he dissected Nobu's corpse. "If to say I was to put another one…" he rammed another through the man's index finger and smiled faintly, "you would feel like your whole body's on fire. Do you want another," a defiant glare later and he pressed the pinkie gently at first but clamped on it tightly within a few seconds. "It hurts huh? Why were you in Konoha?" and he was singing like an opera star. He was to steal one of the Yondaime's kunai and bring it back to Iwa for analysis. He took out the needles sharply and turned around.

He heard a loud "oh kami I'm cumming!" and a loud, satisfied sigh two minutes later, "10/10, fantastic, amazing, sweet kami that felt good!" the others stood away from her "you guys pass with flying colours. If you were observant you would notice the tests; this team will have capture and interrogation functions. First mission tomorrow, meet me in training ground 43 by 6:00am sharp. Dismissed except for you, Naruto-kun." Ibiki walked as calmly as he could away with the two other children trailing behind him. Anko looked at Naruto and sighed tiredly, "is this a side effect of the seal because I can never get tired of this! I feel like I'm having a mini orgasm every time I say your name!"

"It's not a side effect, Anko-sensei." He said blandly, his hand trailing his senbon launcher idly but also purposefully. "The seal takes the nature chakra back to the environment through that senbon still buried in the forest. It'll remove itself one every month. Orochimaru's presence is gone so you feel liberated somehow; maybe that's why you keep looking at me like that." He shuffled to the hallway "I'll be on my way" and he walked off but he heard her yell.

"I will have sex with you, Naruto-kun! That's my ambition!"

He rolled his eyes, and at the same time repeatedly assured himself that this was just a woman thing and it will pass. Hopefully.

Authors note

Sorry for the indecent scene, blood and violence. Besides that, how was it? Anko and somehow Ibiki are a bit OOC. Ami is definitely OOC, Sai…I'm not sure.

As a side note, try reading my other stories, see if their worth a sequal. I like them, would you? Take a risk dudes'!

Review.

B.j.