Sometimes you have to do things because not only is it necessary but, it's an imperfect world with imperfect outcomes. Again I do not own Harry Potter.

Seems like it was yesterday when I saw your face
You told me how proud you were, but I walked away
If only I knew what I know today
Ooh, ooh

I would hold you in my arms
I would take the pain away
Thank you for all you've done
Forgive all your mistakes
There's nothing I wouldn't do
To hear your voice again
Sometimes I wanna call you
But I know you won't be there

Ohh I'm sorry for blaming you
For everything I just couldn't do
And I've hurt myself by hurting you

Some days I feel broke inside but I won't admit
Sometimes I just wanna hide 'cause it's you I miss
And it's so hard to say goodbye
When it comes to this

Would you tell me I was wrong?
Would you help understand?
Are you looking down upon me?
Are you proud of who I am?

There's nothing I wouldn't do
To have just one more chance
To look into your eyes
And see you looking back

Ohh I'm sorry for blaming you
For everything I just couldn't do – Hurt – Christina Aguilera

"concentrate! Hold, hold it. Do it again!" my legs gave out and I slumped to the floor, sweat was beading down my head. We had been at it several hours, I was a few days from the new term starting. I hadn't gone home yet, my mom insisted I stay and work on my seer ability and now this new spell making. I started coughing so much I vomited. Mira handed me a water and a handkerchief, she was the teacher Dumbledore got me.

She was the daughter of another famous seer but passed away in the first war. She didn't have a lot of experience but, she had enough. I was wiping my mouth and she sat down by me, "you know, I know this is a lot for you to take in, one morning you were Visenya Ochs and now you're a Black and you don't know what the hell that even means. I understand this is tough but, look at Harry Potter we all have mountains to climb and no matter how rocky it is, no matter how many times we fall we have to keep climbing."

She told me what everyone else had been telling me but, everyone was right, I had to do this. I got up from the floor and offered her my hand. "let's go again."

It was the last few days of break and people were starting to come back from their holiday and travels. Rosalie was one of them she was helping me pack, I would be escorted by someone from the ministry. We were arguing about him again "why won't you just talk?" she plopped herself down on my bed, I had just enough time to grab my clothes before she landed on them. "why? it's not like we're friends." Cho rolled her eyes but, said nothing else.

We began folding my clothes and she casually stated "you've lost a lot of weight. Ever since that day in class we hardly ever see you." I let her words hang in the air but, Cho was one of my best friends. I had told Cedric why not her? No, the less the better. "I've been busy with stuff Snape wants me to work on and everything." She didn't look convinced but, said no more. I grabbed my bag and we headed out of our dorm.

We made our way to the court yard. There was a man with red hair waiting, I was about to walk away from Cho when she pulled me into a fierce hug. "no matter what's going on we are best friends. You can always come to us, to me." I returned the hug just as fiercely. I let go and she headed back inside, turning to the man who was waiting.

He smiled "hello, I am Arthur Weasley." I smirked "I should hit you so hard you are never able to spawn such trouble makers like George and Fred ever again." For a moment he looked scared, as if I was serious. Then he smiled after he realized I was kidding, he offered to take my bag but, I declined. We made our way past the grounds so, we could apparate.

"I'm sorry if my boys have caused you some grief." I waved it off "nah, they're alright. What's life without laughter?" he didn't have a response for this but, he did smile fondly. We had made it and finally he offered his arm and I took it. I felt the twisting sensation in my stomach, and found myself somewhere I hadn't seen before.

This wasn't our same house, I knew they moved but, mom hadn't sent me any pictures. The house looked nice though, I'm sure I'll love it. He walked me to the front steps, and backed away. I looked back to him "aren't you coming in?" he looked around nervously "I'll wait for your mum to come talk to me." I shrugged and opened the door, I hadn't noticed the door wasn't locked.

"hey, I'm home." no one answered, I went in the kitchen and there was no sign they had made breakfast, "hello, guys.". I went up the stairs, I didn't know what bedroom was whose, I opened the door and saw my dad in bed, on the floor though I saw a body.

My mother's body, I ran to her "mom" I shook my mom and called for Arthur. When I yelled for dad he didn't answer me, I kept yelling at him but, he never moved. "please! Arthur! Somebody help me!" I went back to my mother and pulled her to me "mom, please get up. Get up please." I pulled my mom's heart to my ear, nothing.

"oh god, no, please no. Get up mom." I began hitting her, as if by some way it would wake her. She was dead, and I knew it. I just held her, and cried "I'm so sorry. I'm sorry I got mad at you, I'm sorry for everything. I take it back, I take it all back." No matter how much I apologized though she, didn't wake up. I was screaming but, I couldn't hear it, the pain was agonizing.

I was vaguely aware of someone pulling me from her, I wouldn't let go though, letting go meant it was real. I wanted so desperately for it not to be real. The house was flooded with people, someone finally pulled me away from my mom. I was being directed and it was then I was walked past a room I saw my sisters. They tried to steer me away but, it was too late.

Wrenching myself from their arms I ran towards Marissa, "no." I sobbed I looked over and saw Kali was in bed, she looked almost like she was sleeping. I couldn't keep it in I wailed, I couldn't breathe, I was going to be sick.

I felt someone touch my head and everything went black. I woke up in Hogwarts infirmary, I wondered how I got here, and I saw the head of houses waiting. Then, I remembered and all over again my heart broke. I cried and beat my pillow with my hand, Mcgonagall rushed forward and grabbed onto me, I squeezed her she was all that was within my grasp. Once again, I felt her hand go over my forehead and was brought back into the darkness.

When I woke up this time, I didn't believe that perhaps it had been a dream. There was no one there this time just Madam Pompfrey, she was carrying a girl with magic. She looked so stiff I thought she was dead. I turned my head, not wanting to see it anymore. I saw Snape, Dumbledore and Mcgonagall follow behind her.

I got up, and almost fell over, Snape's head turned to me, and he nudged the Headmaster. It was in the middle of the day, I shouldn't be tired. I was holding my tears, and slowly I felt my blood boil. Snape made his way over to me, he took me by the shoulders and led me to the familiar route of the Headmasters office.

I sat there, I know it was beginning to warm up yet, I was cold all over. We didn't speak he just went over to the window and put his hands against the frame. It was then I saw an odd looking bird, if I didn't know any better, I would have thought it was a Phoenix. It was a while before several people shuffled into the room, I think I saw Cho but, I wasn't paying attention. I waited for him to speak, to give me his apologies. Whatever eased his guilt.

He opened his mouth to speak but, I didn't want explanation. "you're sorry." I accused "you're sorry, you know how much this hurts me." He didn't take offense but continued as if I didn't speak.

"this isn't easy, Visenya. I am sorry for your loss. No amount of words can assuage the pain you must feel." I bit back more tears, "did you contact my brothers and sister?" Snape turned from the window and came towards me, Dumbledore shifted uncomfortable. I stood up so quickly the chair flew back "no" I gasped "no"

"I'm afraid they are gone too." he got up from his desk, I turn to run but, instead Cedric held onto me. The last person I expected but, he was there. I hit Cedric and I pushed away from him but, his grip never faltered, I felt the world being pulled out from under me. I yelled at Dumbledore "you promised me! You promised me! They were just kids, they were all I had." Cedric lowered himself to the ground with me"he promised me" he held me closer, I looked accusingly at professor Snape "he promised me"

He looked to the ground and whispered to himself "I know"

I barely could hear it but, I did. I realized Dumbledore had failed not only me but, Snape too.

XXXXXXXXX

It had been four months since that day in the office, school was back in session. The rumors about what had happened to my family flew all over the castle as well as rumors about the Heir of Slytherin. I loathed being here, what I loathed more than anything was the looks I got, the whispers, and the pity.

I took a day off, while everyone was in class, I stayed by the lake. I don't know why I came here, it wasn't much to look at. There was nothing fantastic about it, maybe it was the only place I could avoid people. I had no one left, there was no place to go home, no one to remind me of all the memories we had, when I die there will be no one by my bedside. I had three nieces and two nephews, and they will never grow up, they will never finish or start school. They didn't do anything, they were just kids, innocent in all of this. My brother, his wife was expecting a baby, I'll never meet him or her.

I didn't know I was shaking with so much pain and anger. There was so much to feel, and in the mornings when I wake up, for a moment I forget and then it crashes down on me all over again, leaving me breathless. I didn't move when someone sat down next to me, he was there when I woke up, he forced his way into Dumbledore's office, and he was there.

I turned to him I didn't have to say anything, he just held my hand and let me cry. That's what I needed, and Cedric gave it to me. He didn't promise tomorrow would be better, didn't try to tell me how sorry he was, and didn't push. He knew tomorrow would always hurt, I would always hurt for my family, he knew no number of apologies or pity would make me feel better. He didn't talk, he just sat and let me know he was here. I hated myself, I had all these gifts and they weren't worth a goddamn thing to me. My family was gone, who was left?

I returned to class the next day, and did my best to ignore everyone. Everyone was on edge, between my family, Hermione Granger being petrified, and the ministry butting in the castle was in chaos. I was grateful to it, that meant people didn't focus on me. Everyone was eating in the Great Hall, I pretended to ignore the worried glances my housemates gave me, after this failed I pushed my plate away and left, I heard Cho call after me but, Katie who had taken to sitting with us on bad days told her to let me go. I walked down the corridors, they said to be with someone always but, I didn't want to.

It was well past dinner time when I decided to make my way to my dormitory, I heard footsteps when I was about to leave, I turned and saw the smallest Weasley walking into Myrtle's bathroom. It was past dinner time and then some, what was she doing?

I walked towards her "Ginny, what are you doing?" I grabbed her shoulder but, she didn't budge. I turned to the sound of hissing and that was all I could remember.

I was aware of someone touching my neck, and shouting but, nothing more after that. When I woke up in the infirmary it was that day all over again. The head of houses were all there, some wizards in uniforms, and the man with white hair from the train station. I attempted to sit up but, felt woozy, Madam Pompfrey rushed over, she fluffed up my pillow, and went to work.

While she was checking my temperature, a man dressed in Ministry robes cleared his throat "Miss Black, we understand you have gone through a lot these past couple of months but, we need to know what happened?" I didn't answer, instead I shot back my own question "which one of yours was in charge of protecting my family? Where's the people who murdered my family?" McGonagall, looked at me like she wanted to reach out and comfort me but, thought better of it. The man scrunched up his face, "tell us what happened please, another student's life is in danger." I glared at them "Ginevra Weasley, I was walking past curfew and I saw her head into Myrtle's bathroom, I grabbed her shoulder when she didn't respond and then nothing."

McGonagall put her hand over her mouth, and Flitwick looked like he might faint. They all began talking in hushed and worried tones, Dumbledore seemed to be getting the blame for all this but, took it in stride. I listened as I picked at my bedding.

"well, we must close the school."

"what about the girl?"

"Lockhart?" they discussed professor Lockhart going in after her, if that guy was her only hope she was good as dead.

I got up but, Madam Pompfrey made me lay back down, she declared I needed rest and everyone needed to leave. It was then the man I saw at Kings and Cross cleared his throat "perhaps this would be a good time."

All the professors looked angered by this and McGonagall protested "absolutely not, she needs rest. The girl has been through enough Lucian!" he didn't seem fazed by her outburst he simply looked at the men in robes "exactly and she will need the support of her family."

I sat up from my bed "I don't need rest, I want to go back to class. And I want to know whatever it is you're not telling me. Did someone survive?" I asked that last part hesitantly, it was Snape's response that surprised me the most, he rose his voice "everyone needs to leave now, there has been quite enough talking, we got our information." He looked to me "rest, and once you're released we will tell you everything." I didn't need him to promise me when Snape said something he meant it. I nodded my head solemnly before they were out of earshot I called "Ginny Weasley is just a kid." They turned around "don't fail her too." I turned my back to them and closed my eyes.

I heard voices whispering, "did her mother ever get the chance to tell her?" I think it was one of the twins.

A quieter feminine voice hushed them "it doesn't matter, she will find out if she didn't and we need to support her. After all she's been through, was there a lot of blood when you found her?"

Someone moved their chair, who found me? "there was enough to write what they did on the wall." I heard the familiar Scottish accent, he didn't seem cheerful he seemed hollow. Cho barely croaked out "does she have to? Cedric your dad has ties with the ministry can't your family..?" the sentence hung in the air.

I rolled over then and they all perked up Katie walked over "here, I got you some Chocolate frogs, it'll help with your sugar levels." Cho was behind her "I'm so glad you're okay." I patted her on the back.

"did they save Ginny?" everyone nodded their head no. I bit my lip, "how are Fred and George holding up?" Cedric scooted his seat forward "their worried for their sister." He didn't mean anything by it but, his words stung. They had each other, their family was still whole. I swallowed the lump in my throat, and swung my legs over the bed.

I stood up "I have to go see Professor Snape." I announced they didn't volunteer to join me, they stood up and said they'd be here when I wanted them. Cho gave me some clothes she took from our room, and I went behind the curtain to change into them. When I came out Cedric, Katie, and Wood were still there.

"I thought you guys would have gone." Katie stood up and rubbed my shoulder "you know where to find me." And she was gone, Oliver left with her. Cedric walked me to Snape's office, I never did get the truth, the castle was on high alert. Harry Potter and Ron Weasley went into the Chamber of Secrets.

"did you finish the DADA paper?" Cas asked me, I only nodded and pushed it forward indicating it was done. Ros and him, looked it over, exchanged worried glances, Ros pushed her hands forward and knocked over a candle on my paper and up in flames it went.

Harry potter was running from something, closing his eyes. I could feel his heart racing as if it were my own, I saw him use a broken mirror to peek around a corner, why would he… petrified. It turns people to stone if they see it! Suddenly I could see a bird go up in magnificent flames, and be reborn, and the sorting hat singing the sorting song. That was all I saw because, I was being shaken. I could hear voices but, it sounded as if they were coming from the end of a tunnel. Finally, I felt a sharp pain across my cheek, I threw my self up, and found I was lacking air. I gasped trying to breathe, I didn't know how long I wasn't breathing. I jumped up and ignored everyone looking at me in the common room.

I ran down the steps, I didn't have time to explain, I wasn't even sure if this would work. I ran past a red headed prefect, he yelled at me to stop but, I could easily outrun him. I rounded the corner and found myself face to face with Oliver Wood, pushing past him "don't have time to explain, follow me or back off." I continued to run, and found he kept up with me. I ran up the stairs to Dumbledore's office it. It asked for the password, I banged on the door in response "open up! It's Visenya!" I was racking my brain trying to remember what Snape had said when he led me up here that day. Hopefully he hadn't changed it, lemongrass? What was it?

Honey lemon? No, no that didn't make sense. I got it!

"lemondrop!" the door opened, and I pushed the door so hard I could have sworn I heard it crack. Oliver had his wand at the ready, he had no idea what was going on but, he was prepared. I ran to the bird cage there was nothing there, I pushed it over frustrated. Oliver was pulling on my robes "what!" I snapped but, when I turned I saw the bird in my vision. It was perched on Dumbledore's desk, I grabbed the hat and put it at the bird's feet "take this to Harry, go to Harry he needs you!" and just like that the bird flew out of the office and disappeared.

I turned to Oliver "I've done all I could." We didn't get a chance to leave the office because three prefects and Pamona Sprout came and escorted us out. Pamona was nice, she didn't yell at us, she was only on edge probably worried about our safety. Cedric was amongst the prefects, before leaving he waited for the other prefects to leave he pulled me into a hug. "don't you ever scare me like that again. Do you understand?" I nodded at him, I didn't think he cared so much. He left and, instead of risking taking Oliver all the way to Gryffindor tower he had him stay in Ravenclaw.

When we came in there was a flash of hair and Casimir was hugging me and so was Rosalie, Cho too. they looked at Oliver and then to me Casimir couldn't contain himself "so, the plot thickens." I shook my head at him, Cho hugged Oliver "what happened to you? Where did you go? Why is he here?"

To keep this circle small, we took the boys up to our dorm. The girls didn't know either but, it was their dorm too and the best place for privacy. I explained everything that I knew, there was many times someone looked as though they might interrupt but, remained silent. As I finished my story someone burst into the room "they made it! They made it everyone's okay!"

No matter what I just can't figure out why I keep coming here. I didn't want to be a negative nelly but, all this cheer, I couldn't handle it. I was still grieving, and I had no idea what to do, where to go, everything I had ever known was gone. I was only fourteen, what do I go from here?

"er, hi" I turned around and saw the ruffled hair of Harry Potter himself. I nodded in acknowledgement, he shuffled side to side "there's people waiting for you in Dumbledore's office. I just wanted to say- to say" he rushed forward and hugged me, I was taken off guard I didn't expect this but, it wasn't unwelcome. He came into this world and lost everything before he even knew what he had, in many ways we were alike. Something told me this would not be the last time our paths crossed.

When I arrived, I didn't want to go in I had a feeling whatever laid on the other side I didn't really want a part of. Regardless I had no choice, I pushed open the door on the other side there was the family with white hair. Dumbledore was standing at the window and standing by the desk was the same dipstick I met a few days ago. "ah, Miss Black. The school year is ending as you know." He paused, and Dumbledore took over from there "yes, the school year is ending, and with all we've endured this school year, there was no proper time to do this."

I stepped back "to do what?" the woman with white hair stood up and faced me "Leta chose to live differently, she was always different. You look just like her when she was younger." I backed up more "what is this?"

She stepped a bit closer "your mother Leta was one of my younger sisters. I knew of your existence and held you only a few times before your mother fled to America. I can explain everything to you. We are your family, though we never met officially you are blood." She was speaking as if she was trying to approach a frightened animal.

She resembled my mom but, not really. She held herself like my mom did but, I couldn't see it in the eyes.

The man from the ministry spoke "you are underage, and the Malfroys are whom you would go to. We wanted to give you time to process everything before we tossed this in your lap."

Dumbledore spoke up "however, they are not your only family you have another aunt and she herself has a daughter as well." Everyone but Dumbledore seemed upset by the fact he brought this up. The ministry official huffed "Andromeda has enough on her plate and did not step forward upon the discovery of her niece. Lucian and Narcissa have a son about her age, they are more suitable to care for Miss Black."

After it was concluded I would be put in the custody of Narcissa and Lucian Dumbledore informed me I could go pack my things he was cancelling the exams. I took one last look at my relatives and left. I was heading to my dorm, everyone was still celebrating, and I wasn't ready for that. I packed my things and made a decision I wrote a quick note telling Cho to tell everyone I left early and thank them for my first year.

I tugged my luggage down waiting outside in the common room was my friends. I didn't hide the fact my eyes were getting wet, I ran forward and launched myself in Cedric's arms. I took turns hugging everyone, my Gryffindor friends were even there. The twins hugged me "thank you, for what you did." Harry had already made his peace with me, Katie told me she'd write, and Oliver told me to try out for Quidditch next year, which was probably his way of saying he'd be there?

I left and waiting downstairs was Narcissa and her boy. She smiled at me and put her arm around my shoulder and led me away from Hogwarts for the summer.

Just a few authors note here, I made an error they are actually the Black sisters so, she is not a Lestrange. The Blacks family tree always confused me sometimes. I'll be going back to fix that. I understand there is not a lot of connection between the original and mine but, this is fanfic and I do what I want. I'm trying to connect something's but, just from another person's view. I understand a lot happened in this chapter please message me or shoot me any questions you might have. I have the next chapter ready to upload I'm just waiting on more reviews, I get it but, this is my work and my creative ideas. I would like to know how I'm doing what you guys think or how it makes you feel. Obviously harry potter is not mine.