Regrets.

Ever had any of them? I know I have. What exactly does regret mean?

Let me define it for you.

Regret- To feel sad, repentant, or disappointed over something that has happened

Or

Something that has been done, especially a loss or missed opportunity.

Get the point? Good. Let's da- move on.

Hahaha, bet you thought I was going to say, "Get the point? Good. Let's dance", right?

Wrong.

We can't dance yet.

One of the roles of the rope in my opinion is dealing with regret. Regret is such a waste of time but there is nothing that we can do about it and regret comes in a few shapes and forms.

Relationships.

Death.

Opportunities.

Words.

Past experiences.

Worrying about others.

Confidence.

Life.

Language.

Being a better person.

The list goes on and on, just like Journey's Don't Stop Believin' if you ask me.

Now, what do you want to talk about first?

So you can't choose? Then I'll choose one for you.

Past experiences. I'm pretty sure we have a lot of regrets in that area. A past experience that I really regret was befriending someone who I thought was a friendly person. I know, I know. It's a simple thing, but...ugh, it is not a pleasant memory. See, I went to a party when I was in college with my friend. He was...better not finish that pathetic statement. Anyway, what was I saying? Oh, right. Ultimate college party. Sounds fun, right? Wrong. We went and had a good time, drinking, dancing, mingled with other people for the better part of two hours. I remember having to go to the bathroom when I heard something that's shocked me.

"Yeah. My fiancée has no idea, whatsoever. The best part of it all is that she thinks I'm in London somewhere. And April? This one is a total virgin, but don't you worry about a thing because she won't be one for much longer."

All I remember after that was turning back and running from that party, and I never looked back. Sure I might have tripped in my tipsy state, but I did manage to bump into someone who was pretty damn hot.

The point of that whole was that I regret meeting that guy. He seemed so...right. I mean, he was awesome in every sense of the word. His name started with a….. "J" I think? I don't really remember at all. But going to that party? I don't regret that in any shape or form. It showed me that there are some people that you so regret meeting.

How about another one? Let's see...ahh. My favorite one that always pops up into my head. Worrying about others. It's easy to pay attention to others and forget about myself. There are times when I would worry about someone to the point where I would help them out, in terms of homework, advice, so on and so forth. The biggest regret in that you might ask? I worry so much about other people that I fail to take care of myself. I was so busy thinking about what people would think about me to the point that I have away my virginity to the first boy that gave me a little attention. Oh, how I wish someone could've told me back then that worrying about other people who don't worry about me was a waste if my precious time.

What about dealing with your crushes? Boy do I regret not asking out my high school crush. He was popular, good looking, a jock, typical high school guy. Nerves always got the best of me when I was a high school drag to society. I often forgive myself for not asking him out, but hate the point? The past is something that I cannot go back to, but I do choose to believe that something great will happen, if I ever get to meet him again. I suppose that also means that I should've had more confidence in myself, huh? I guess so. I mean, sometimes I wonder why I allowed the concerns of others to weigh so heavy on me instead of trusting my own beliefs? Maybe I thought that it wasn't worth having what at the time. It doesn't help that I thought poorly of myself at all either. Fucking confidence totally fucked me over! Oh, how I can turn back the hands of time for that…Maybe he was the one for me. I could've maybe fell in love with him and vice-versa. A girl can only dream at this point.

So they say that"Stayed in touch with some good friends from my childhood and youth.There's usually one childhood or high school friend who we were best buddies with. Then, one of us moved away. We might have stayed in touch at first but then got busy. Sometimes, we thought to pick up the phone, but maybe we don't have their number or email any more. We always wonder what it would be like to sit down with them again for a coffee." Yeah….um, what if we tried and no one tried to stay in touch with you? I mean, I was always that one person who would call, text, and visit people who were important to me, but those same people couldn't give two shits about me. The thing that I hate most about situations like these, would be the endless comments such as, "Why don't you call or text me anymore? Why is it that we hardly ever see you?" You have got be kidding me! Friendships like these ARE NOT a one way street, okay? If you want a good relationship, at least try and reach out to the people who care about you. It makes me sorry that I wasted my precious time on people who are….funny like that. Now, this is going to sound selfish, but I'll be honest in saying that I feel pretty worthless when I surround myself with them, but then I think to myself that I don't have to hang out or communicate with them, and it makes me feel a lot better about myself.

The piece of advice I now follow that I wish I had known about is stupid simple. "Being happier more. Not taking life so seriously. Seems strange to say, but most of us don't know how to have fun. We're way too serious. We don't find the humor in life. We don't joke around. We don't think we're funny. So, we go through life very serious. We miss out on half (or maybe all) the fun in life that way. Do something a little silly today. Crack a joke with the bus driver - even if he ends up looking at you weird. Do a little dance. You'll probably smile, on the inside if not the outside. Now keep doing that, day after day." All I have to say on that is right on.

My biggest regret of them all? I am wish I could've spent more time with my best friend. I remember the last conversation we had. It was a dumb conversation about her cheating boyfriend. I mean, everyone knew that he was a cheating fuck-face, but no. She thought that I was so jealous because she was in a relationship and I wasn't. I love her, but she's a total bitch! Goddamn throw pillow! That is what she is. I mean, he was in a long term relationship with her, had a mistress who in turn had his child, plus he was a murder. Did she listen when I told her that I had a bad feeling about her activities that she was going to do with him last summer? No. Now, she's locked up abroad for being dumb deep in love. I love her to death, but I regret not ending things on good terms. Well at least she'll be the one to rot and die in some filthy cell with the rats gnawing at her eyes. That is if she hasn't gotten the electric chair with that 'man' of hers.

Anyway, regrets are part of the rope that can be….inescapable. It makes you think or feel in two different ways. The only thing that is good about this part of the rope, is that it is a learning experience. Whether it is experiencing love or missing out on opportunities that you might have wanted to explore, regret is always going to be there. You know what you have both personally and professionally, what you don't have, and what these experiences do to you. Before I drag this into a life story or some shit like that, I will break it down to you in the simplest terms.

Don't it always seem to go
That you don't know what you've got 'til it's….
Don't it always seem to go
That you don't know what you've got til it's….
Don't it always seem to go
That you don't know what you've got til it's….
That you don't know what you've got til it's gone

Ahh, Joni Mitchell never lies, right?