Chapter One:

Strangers. Appreciating.

Almost One Year Later

(November)

Callie reread the line for the third time, but she wasn't sure why as she honestly had no idea what she was even reading. Today was so…blah. She didn't feel like reading and certainly didn't feel like trying to pretend that she could be distracted from the upcoming holiday. For more reasons than one.

This would be Callie's second Thanksgiving without her former "Forever Family" and it hurt. More than hurt. It was like an ache that clawed inside her chest. But, she'd learned how to live with pain before and she knew that she would deal with this pain in the same way, but still. With no one-and no book captivating enough-to distract her from the ache, she was barely holding it together.

Callie glanced around the coffee shop, Coffee Cozy, absently. She'd gotten up this morning and gotten dressed. Even trying one of the infamous "Looking hot, will make you feel hot!" makeovers that Mariana had devised and wearing sky high heels because "Being tall, will make you feel tall!" Which was another exuberant phrase by Mariana, Callie felt no better. Callie glanced down at the black heels with gold points at the toe, ankle and heel and tried to remember when she'd even gotten them. She honestly couldn't remember, but something told her it was on one of many legendary shopping trips with Mariana.

Mariana. She seemed to be so heavy on Callie's mind and she wasn't quite sure why. Callie shook her head realizing that of course she knew why. Mariana had been her sister. Her dearest friend. Her girl. Mariana was maybe the Adams Fosters that she missed most of all. Callie felt badly even thinking this way, but she knew the reason that she did. It was because Mariana was the member of the household who was the most openly hurt. The one who wouldn't even speak to her now. The most missing, so the most missed.

"How could you do that, Callie?!"

"Do what?! Be exposed? Be forcibly un-adopted?!"

"No!" Mariana shouted through tears as she stood in the doorway of Callie's "new" bedroom at the Quinns'. It was a little over two weeks after the adoption had been officially reversed and Mariana had finally come to see Callie unannounced, fully armed with her justified anger.

"How could you just give up? You didn't even fight it! You didn't say a word!" Now the tears overtook her voice and Mariana bit them back as she whispered out in pained disgust "You…you didn't even try…"

"Mariana? All I ever did was try. I tried to be there for Jude and you. And everyone. I tried to fit in, to make…make everyone happy. To not feel the way I felt about…" Callie paused and continued on in a different direction, shaking her head as the tears captured her voice as well. "I-I tried so hard to be a part of the family and not feel like…like I don't know some damaged freak. But…after someone sent that tape to the judge? After I knew everything was over…really over? I just couldn't do it anymore. I couldn't try to fight it anymore, Mariana. I just…I don't have it in me…Not anymore…I'm sorry."

Mariana shook her head vigorously and Callie could almost see that there was some small crack in her fiery spirit. Callie waited with bated breath for Mariana's infamously sharp-tongued response, knowing that whatever she would say next would hurt more than anything she'd ever said before. But instead, Mariana did something that hurt Callie even more; she said nothing. Instead, she just shook her head and with one last look of disappointment and disgust, she stormed down the stairs and out of Callie's life.

Mariana hadn't spoken to Callie since.

Tuning back in to the present, Callie glanced around the atmosphere of the light and airy café. The browns and oranges caused a cozy, yet bright demeanor. This, combined with the way that the employees were all required to say "Have a Cozy Coffee day!" when they provided you with your drink, with their plastered fake smiles and ponytails almost made Callie queasy. Something about false happiness-or even real happiness honestly-always made Callie feel so distrustful. Moments of pain had far outweighed moments of pleasure in her life and she was more comfortable with angst than this setting would allow.

Still, Callie was determined not to focus on her pessimistic thoughts and tried once more to sink into the book. Her brown hair fell over her hand in her natural waves as she leaned her head down and started again.

"It was as if that great rush of anger had washed me clean, emptied me of hope, and, gazing up at the dark sky spangled with its signs and stars, for the first time, the first, I laid my heart open to the benign indifference of the universe.

"To feel it so like myself, indeed, so brotherly, made me realize that I'd been happy, and that I was happy still. For all to be accomplished, for me to feel less lonely, all that remained to hope was that on the day of my execution there should be a huge crowd of spectators and that they should greet me with howls of execration."

"Excuse me miss? Would you mind autographing my copy?"

The sound of the voice was like a wave crashing all around her and Callie was almost scared to look up for fear that she was imagining it. Her breathe stilled as she did look up slowly, immediately taking in the face that she knew by heart.

The stubble on his face…New…Sexy.

The often-unseen and therefore much appreciated grin.

His hair, curls tumbling around his ears, as usual.

And his eyes…those eyes…green…grey…piercing. Eyes Callie could get lost in.

Every.

Fucking.

Time.

Brandon Foster.

"Brandon?" Callie hissed, fighting the urge to launch herself up and into his arms. Instead, she eased up from her seat and allowed his arms to swallow her. Brandon lifted her off of the ground in a tight embrace and she felt herself going dizzy.

The hug lasted. And lasted. And Callie waited, trying to determine the appropriate amount of time to hold onto him before easing herself away. But, for the first time in a long time, Brandon was holding her, breathing her in and allowing her to do the same to him. Without fear. Without…shame. And Callie wanted to revel in this feeling for as long as possible.

Just as soon as Callie was thinking that she might not be able to let him go, Brandon set her on her feet and removed her need to decide when she would have to release him.

"Callie…" Brandon said softly and again the stare. It was as though he was seeing her for the first time. In all honesty he was seeing her for the first time in nearly a year, but still. It felt…different somehow.

Brandon pulled out the brown chair that sat opposite hers and for some reason Callie hadn't remembered until that moment that they could sit down, talk. Not just stand staring at one another for eternity.

"Oh my God, Brandon." Callie said, suddenly remembering why she had felt so shocked at seeing him, "What are you doing here? Aren't you supposed to be in New York? Practicing or rehearsing or…something?"

Brandon's smile didn't quite reach his eyes and Callie hated herself for catching this as he said "Yea…or something…" his laugh was forced, but she wasn't sure if it was because of what he was clearly not saying or just general awkwardness at seeing her again. Brandon glanced up at her and smiled coolly.

Less than a month after the adoption reversal, Brandon had moved to New York in preparation and anticipation of being able to re-audition and apply for Juilliard. From what Callie understood this had been highly protested by Lena, while Stef seemed in full support or at least Callie hadn't heard that she'd put up much fuss about it, which was very unlike her. Apparently, Brandon had used some of the money that Stef's mother had given each of the kids for school as seed money for the move. Callie wasn't certain what all he was doing there, but she had heard through Jesus that he'd been working as a pianist in some hotel for the time being.

"But, no. Mom wanted me home for Thanksgiving. She'll probably want me home for every Thanksgiving for the rest of ever, being that it's in the same week as my birthday and all."

Callie tried to feign forgetfulness. She'd remembered that it would be close to his birthday. Of course she had. But, something about the year that they'd spent apart, made her not want to let him know that she had "Oh, yea. That sounds like Mom…Stef…" She said shaking her head and faltering a bit at her slip. She'd been training herself out of it for so long. Trying to see them as her former forever family. Not because this is what she'd wanted, but because it was just how it was.

It was similar-although just opposite-to how she'd felt when she'd had to call Brandon her "brother" because that was how it was, even though that wasn't how she felt. Not because she didn't want him to be. But because he wasn't that to her. He never had been and never would be. And she'd dealt with the shame of feeling badly about it for so long, that there was a freedom in not having to hide in the shadows of calling Brandon, her ex-boyfriend, her first love, her first…time, her "brother".

"I'm sure you can still call her that." Brandon said, staring down at his hands. This was a habit of his, Callie knew. He looked down when he was worried, uncomfortable, ashamed, guilt-ridden, pained. Any uncomfortable emotional happening that he couldn't shape or change, Brandon always glanced down and Callie always hated it. How many times had she wanted to lift his head up and tell him that he had nothing to feel shamed about?

"Not so sure she would agree with you there." Callie said, doing her best to get Brandon talking. She wanted to know how he felt, Stef felt, everyone felt. She missed them all so much. But something inside just wasn't letting her reach out to them as she would have normally.

Brandon lifted his eyes and focused in on Callie, "Why do you say that?"

"Since the…hearing, Stef hasn't really…well; she doesn't really talk to me."

"What do you mean she doesn't talk to you? Do you talk to her?" As usual, Brandon was getting right to the root of the issue. He'd never pulled punches with Callie and she'd always hated it. Mostly because he was usually right.

"Well…not exactly, no."

"Okay, then."

"But, it's not like I don't want to. I'm pretty sure she doesn't want to hear from me."

Brandon tilted his head at Callie with an incredulous look and Callie felt her breath catch a little. So strange that a small gesture from him could cause so much emotion to grip her. Brandon raised his right hand motioning for a waiter as he said "Callie, you're just being as stubborn as Mom is. You always have been. You know she'd want to hear from you, she just…maybe doesn't know what to say."

"But, I mean. I've spoken to everyone else."

"You have?"

"Well, yea. Jude mostly and even Jesus sometimes. And Lena too. She writes me oddly, enough."

"Why is that odd? She's L-"

"Lena, I know." Callie laughed, but finished saying "But, I mean. She literally writes me like, these pages long letters asking me how I am and what I'm up to. And I always call her and respond to her questions, because I'm not much of a writer."

"Writer." Brandon said with her nodding.

"Right, and of course being Lena she goes on talking and acting like it's the most normal thing in the world and keeps writing me letters that I respond to with phone calls."

Brandon laughed absently with a slight shake of his head.

Then, as if remembering something he said, "But wait a minute, let's go back to what you said before…you talk to Jude mostly and even Jesus sometimes? What about Mariana?"

Callie eyed Brandon with a knowing look. "Brandon, you know Mariana doesn't want to talk to me."

"Callie…" Brandon started but Callie raised her eyebrows doubtfully and he stopped himself short. "No, you're right. I know. I get it. Mariana is still angry."

The waitress was a slight, pretty girl with a sprinkle of freckles and a bouncy blonde ponytail. Brandon ordered a black coffee with one sugar and Callie eyed him curiously.

When the waitress walked away, Callie teased "Whoa, Brandon? Since when do you drink black coffee? I don't even think I've ever seen you drink caffeine, period. Let alone black."

Brandon looked down and tugged at his hands absently, another nervous habit that Callie knew too well. "I don't know. Just a part of growing up I guess." He looked into her eyes once more. "Change."

Callie smiled lightly and glanced away from him. He had been her best friend. Closer to her than anyone else ever had been. And at one time, but only once, she felt like he was the closest being to her on earth. But, now? Now, Callie just felt so strange before him. It was weird, because it was like she didn't know who to be with him now.

Brandon must have sensed her need for a quiet moment because he matched her and instead of talking glanced about the room silently. This afforded Callie the chance to take in his attire. His jeans, relaxed and a bit worn, grey striped shirt and loose-fitting khaki jacket. But, moreso than his clothing, Callie noticed his eyes. They seemed so different. So tired. It was as if during the year that they'd spent apart, while he was only a little less than a year older, his eyes had aged decades. It made Callie feel a little sad for a reason that she couldn't place.

The waitress appeared again and Callie noted that she handed Brandon his coffee with a gentle but flirtatious touch of her hand and the girlish smile to match. It didn't stir up jealously in her as it may have in the past, but instead she found it interesting to consider that Brandon may be as attractive on sight to others as he was to her always. If a bit of dorky at the same time. Callie smiled at the thought.

Brandon, as usual, seemed not to notice the girl's gesture, simply thanked her for the cup and immediately blew on it absent-mindedly. Callie watched his lips forming a small o as they blew and she forced herself to shake away from focusing on his lips and stared back at her book again.

After a few more moments of silence as Brandon sipped from his cup and Callie tried to read her book, Brandon broke the silence once more saying "So…big plans for Thanksgiving?"

Callie looked up at him and he was watching her intently. He seemed to be searching her expression and she wasn't sure why. She answered easily, honestly. "I wouldn't say, big, exactly. Thanksgiving is literally like Jill's favorite holiday, so she makes this Thanksgiving lunch that melts into dinner and by the end of the night everyone is so stuffed that no one can even remember what they ate."

Brandon laughed out suddenly and Callie continued, "It's not funny, Brandon! It's kinda ridiculous actually. They really take it too far."

"No, I wasn't laughing about that." Brandon said, setting down his cup with fervor. "I was thinking about you and Jude. When you were first with us and Jude helped Mama cook the turkey?"

Callie remembered the day well and broke into a matching smile "Right? And we both teased them because they started too late and turned it up too high. So it was half-cooked on the inside-"

"And burnt on the outside!" Brandon finished as the two laughed together.

"And then-" Callie said giggling "Stef got so mad that she made us cut the onions for the stuffing!"

"Yea, and we were both laughing and crying and our eyes were stinging so bad. But it was so funny, because Mom was so mad!" Brandon continued to laugh along with Callie.

Suddenly Callie felt eyes on them and although Brandon was still caught up in his laughter, she glanced around, the feeling of being on display creeping up against her neck. She caught the eye of an older woman sitting closely to them. Callie steadied herself for the well-known look of startled curiosity and began to blush as she looked the woman in her face.

But…Callie was shocked when she saw what was in the stranger's eyes instead of judgment, the woman seemed to be genuinely tickled or touched by what she saw. And Callie realized that the woman was likely regarding theirs as the familiar laughter of two old friends. The look in the woman's eyes being a humorous appreciation, instead of a nonverbal criticism caught Callie a little off guard, but she also felt that strange new sensation of freedom wrapping her in its arms once more.

"I wish we could have more moments like that."

Brandon's voice snapped Callie back to attention and she glanced at him curiously "What do you mean? You want to cut a mountain of onions and burn our eyes out again?"

"No, no. I mean. Spending time together. You, with us. The holidays are the perfect time for it, you know?" Brandon seemed to be suggesting something, with his cloying smile but Callie couldn't quite grasp what.

"I mean…I know. But, that's not really possible, anymore."

"Why not?"

"Because…"

"Because…why?"

"Because you know why, Brandon. The Quinns'? I mean, I spent Thanksgiving and Christmas with them last year. I'm sure they're expecting me to do it again this year."

"And? You said yourself that Jill does a Thanksgiving lunch. You know Moms won't have dinner on the table until nearly midnight. You can do both."

Callie finally allowed herself to accept what Brandon was insinuating. "You're saying you want me to come to Thanksgiving at you guy's house?"

"Noooo. I'm saying: you are coming to Thanksgiving at our house. Period. Have your lunch with the Quinns' and then come to Moms and have dinner with us. It's not a request." Brandon finished matter-of-factly with a shrug as he sipped from his coffee cup again and shrugged. "It's kinda just what's going to happen."

"But, Brandon…" Callie semi-whined,

"Callie…" Brandon said matching her whining tone.

Callie smiled but finished her statement seriously "I can't do that. I can't just invite myself to your family dinner."

"Callie, you're not inviting yourself. I am."

"I know. And…" Callie looked down at her hands as she traced the cover of the book with her fingers, nervously. "I mean, it's really sweet of you to offer. But, I don't really think everyone will want me there." Mariana….Her dad…maybe Stef. Callie was honestly pretty sure no one would want her there and suddenly she felt like crying.

"Did you get me a birthday present?" Brandon asked suddenly and Callie's confusion immediately overtook her sadness and she laughed in spite of herself. It wasn't like Brandon to ask something like this, but she answered anyway.

"No…" Callie said with a slight shake of her head. It wasn't as if she'd known Brandon would even be here on his birthday. Callie sighed deeply, glancing back down at the book.

Callie jumped slightly as she felt Brandon's fingers gently lifting her chin until she was staring into his eyes. Hers, tear-brimmed; his, earnest and searching. "Then this is what I want for my birthday: for you to come home. Be with us for Thanksgiving." Brandon said, nodding as he spoke and then pulling his hand away from her face before the moment lasted too long.

Callie gulped a bit and hated Brandon in this moment. She wanted to protest again, but she knew her answer now before she spoke it aloud.

"Okay."